THIS IS IT

Emmett's Point of View

"Well, that's perfect!" Vera exclaimed, quickly claiming a booth in the corner that had just emptied out and flipping her dark curls behind her tiny-framed shoulders. She slid into one side of the booth and I slid into the other. I felt the lump in my throat as Rosalie sat down next to me for the first time in a long time, her scent unquestionably mystifying me.

I was intoxicated by her presence, disoriented by her voice, mesmerized by her eyes. She was at her core exactly as I had thought of her millions of times over the past four years, but she was vastly changed.

Her golden blonde curls cascaded just past her shoulders framing a face full of vivid color. Her skin was porcelain, and her eyes a mirror of the sky that were accented with dark eye makeup. Her lips like rose petals were red as blood and spread into a soft and genuine smile. She wore all black; a fitted leather jacket over a sweater with an opening at her prominent collarbones and her long, swan's neck was accentuated with a black necklace. Her jeans were tight, and showed off a figure that was just as graceful as I'd remembered. Her long legs were made longer with black-heeled boots and I saw her nervously tapping her foot under the table.

What was she thinking?

Jacob pulled up a chair at the end of the table on Rosalie's other side leaving the other side of the booth for Bella. I wondered with desperation who they were to each other, but I also felt like I didn't want to know. He was at least eight years older than us, and he seemed very protective of her. She didn't look like she needed someone to take care of her anymore. She looked happy. I felt the tension in my muscles relaxing.

"I'm going to get another round," Bella said with an attempt at making this situation disguise as a normal one. "What's everyone drinking?"

"Vera's drinking water," Rosalie smiled and Vera rolled her eyes at her playfully.

"An old fashioned, for me. I have a tab," I said just as Jacob handed Rosalie her drink. I looked down in front of her, and laughed nervously, feeling a light blush coming to my cheeks. "Impeccable taste," I complimented as she brought the old fashioned glass to her lips with a smirk.

"So, how do you know each other?" Vera eyed us both leaning forward with her chin on her palms.

We exchanged a quick glance and I bit my lip.

"We went to high school together," I responded plainly, not offering any further information. "Did you go to school with-" I cut myself off clumsily.

Jacob laughed, obviously and comfortably.

"I'm a professor at the film academy. We met in line for coffee before final exams her freshman year," he reached out to put his hand on her leg. Her eyes looked unchanged and removed as she took another long sip of her drink.

"Rosalie's been my roommate since we got here," Vera explained. "We finished up NYU together this past May."

"So let me guess, Wall Street?" She raised an eyebrow, sizing me up. "No, wait. No offense, but your tie isn't nice enough for Wall Street." She tapped her finger to her lip, her eyes narrowing.

I laughed whole-heartedly and felt Rosalie's shoulder brush mine in the tight booth.

Four years had felt like four seconds.

I went to explain and Vera cut me off.

"Wait, let me guess!" She wrapped her fingers together and pursed her lips. "Usually I'm pretty good at this."

"You're an Ad Guy," she concluded and I shook my head. She threw her hands in the air in surrender.

"Law school at Columbia," I revealed and she groaned as if that guess was on the tip of her tongue.

"Ah, so the shark pool?" Jacob took a sip of his scotch, neat. I saw Rosalie's eyes widen and I chuckled. Appropriate.

"I guess you could say that," I shrugged. "I know everyone says this in the beginning before they get too jaded, but I'm wanting to actually do something right."

"Like what?" Jacob prodded.

"I want to focus on… um... intellectual properties law and work with protecting um… against copyright infringements." I felt my face get hot. That was perhaps the most unappealing and unglamorous part of law to most, but it felt like it had some meaning to me for once.

"Well, on behalf of us all, we hope you aced your exams because we'll need someone like you," Rosalie's voice was the most beautiful melody I'd ever heard and her eyes locked in mine sincerely. Jacob's gaze on her became careful.

"I don't know about aced them," I looked down at the Sharpie graffiti etched into the table, tracing a 'Victoria and Riley 4-ever' heart with my index finger.

"Where have you been hiding him, Rosalie?" Vera puzzled giving her a wink.

"We haven't seen each other since…" I started, pushing my hair back. Rosalie's face was stone.

"Since prom," She finished my sentence, removed. It didn't even sting like I thought it would. My worlds were colliding and smashing together in lurches. Four years felt like four hundred years. She was timeless to me.

Bella walked up with drinks and an anticipating awkward smile.

"Hey, hey" Bella tiptoed into the conversation. Bella slid into her side of the booth and passed the drinks around. Her eyes seemed to examine me with a cautious aversion.

After Rosalie had left for NEDA, I refused to stop pursuing her and absolutely pestered Bella to the breaking point. Bella didn't know I'd used the bet money to pay for Rose to get the best doctors this country has while she was away, so she felt she didn't owe me anything. Honestly, even then, she didn't owe me anything. I asked about Rosalie every chance I got with much the same answer, 'Just leave her alone, for God's sake…' I'd pestered Bella and Edward for absolutely any information I could get for the past four years. They didn't give me much. They didn't want to.

Everything changed when Rosalie left. Alice and I were estranged and spoke briefly when one of us needed something or was going to ask what the other sibling was going to get Mom for Mother's Day. Edward and I grew apart, much as high school friends do when they move away for college, but he always felt awkwardly placed as the middleman between Bella and I. We spoke occasionally, catching up in uncoordinated lurches and getting stuck in small talk.

Rosalie began to seem more and more like a ghost the farther I was removed from the world that I had shared with her. I began to forget little details about her, like what her skin felt like underneath my fingertips, how her hair smelled when I wrapped her in my arms, the melodic orchestration of a fit of her laughter, the way it felt to kiss her…

When Rosalie left, all I could bring myself to do was schoolwork, and I drowned myself in studying and the pursuit of more and more knowledge. I learned how to play the guitar, speak fluent Spanish, excel at playing chess, how to identify about a hundred constellations, how to write in Arabic, and a collection of other useless things to know how to do.

My parents were obviously thankful that my grades were impeccable, I graduated top of my class, and I was accepted into all of the Ivy Leagues on academic scholarship, but they were bitter that I'd turned down every school that wanted me to play college football and seemed to masochistically overwhelm myself with reading, studying, practicing, solving, anything that kept my mind busy. I ended up at UC Irvine in California for biomedical engineering and I finished my bachelor's degree in two years because all I ever did was study and take loads of classes. I had a roommate whose name escapes me, and he was always cordial. The seemingly hundreds of different girls he brought home were always polite about when I needed to sleep in the library.

My parents expected me to be in medical school by now, but I hated my degree and couldn't picture myself at Stanford or Johns Hopkins regardless of being accepted as a top pick.

I went back to school at Oxford in London for another year and a half for a degree in Philosophy, Politics and Economics. I still found that degree useless to me so I applied to Harvard and Columbia for law school. Even though I was a Rhodes Scholar, had undergraduate research presented at numerous conferences across the U.S., won every undergraduate academic award that can be won, and got paid in stipends to obtain two degrees in four years, my parents were disappointed in me. They were disappointed in me as a person. They felt I was behind as a human being because I showed little to no interest in anything real and tangible around me. I was always immersed in books.

I consumed books like water.

Vera's mouth opened in cheerful shock and Rosalie slapped a palm to her face with a light groan, a sheepish smile on her lips.

"Oh my God, no way," Vera squealed with laughter. "Fun fact, this song's about Rosalie."

Jacob rolled his eyes and I listened in.

"No it isn't," She scoffed and took another drink. Her eyes told another story.

"Oh come on, Rosalie," Vera laughed. "You were practically born to be a musician's muse." She added dramatic effect to her voice. "You've got that depth and you're weird in a good way, and all that."

Rosalie laughed freely, her head tilting back on her beautiful long neck.

"Oh my gosh," Bella sighed shaking her head with a laugh under her breath. Rosalie shrugged.

From Eden by Hozier.

I kept my gaze down, but I felt Rosalie's eyes on me watching so I remained inexpressive as I took a long drink and heard another man talking about her in front of everyone at the bar.

Babe, there's something tragic about you
Something so magic about you
Don't you agree?

She never ceased to surprise me.

"He told you it was!" Vera squealed. "So listen, she and Andrew hooked up while she was in London for Christmas break junior year," Vera explained and my heart started racing.

"Andrew," Jacob scoffed. "What a pretentious little-"

Vera ignored him and went on. Rosalie furrowed her brow in disapproval and defense.

"They met in the elevator of a hotel and he got off on her stop because he thought she was beautiful with her rain soaked hair and peculiar because she had a pair of roller skates in one arm and a kitten in the other," Vera dramatized her voice to add to the story.

"Oh my goodness," Rosalie laughed aloud, and Vera reached for her hand, joining her. "So, I was roller skating down the street back to the hotel I was staying at and found a kitten in an alley, and I had to save it. I thought I hid it in my sweater way better than I did," Rosalie explained as if to Bella.

Rosalie was wild and living. She was exactly the opposite of me. She immersed herself in the world around her, seeping in all it had to offer. She seemed liberated, and colorful. She seemed like she was able to be herself for the first time. She did what she wanted and surrendered herself to the desires of her heart no matter what it was. No, I don't particularly like picturing her in the arms of someone else, but that's easy to get over. Rosalie finally looked confident and free.

Babe, there's something wretched about this

Something so precious about this

Oh, what a sin

To the strand a picnic plan for you and me

A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree

"So, do you get free concert tickets and all that?" Bella asked, her phone screen distracting her.

"Rosalie hasn't paid for a concert in years," Vera bragged. "But okay, okay let me finish the story,"

"No Vera, they're bored to tears," Rosalie cut her eyes at me. I clenched my teeth. It was a lot to process seeing her for the first time in four years, hearing her dating history on a loudspeaker.

"I want to know what concerts I can expect backstage passes to," Bella prodded, looking at me with venom in her eyes as if she wanted something to run me away.

"Well, Vera slept with John Mayer," Rosalie shot a look with so much intensity at Bella that took me aback, but lightheartedly smiled at Vera

"That's just part of being a New Yorker," Vera laughed and seemed satisfied with herself. "But, it is still to this day one of my favorite parts of it," she winked.

"Please ruin all of our favorite bands for us Rosalie," Jacob laughed darkly and Rosalie blushed.

"Jacob's still bitter about Matt from the 1975," Vera explained, reaching out to him in sympathy as she pouted her full bottom lip. He took a long drink, but looked to be in good humor. I did not understand.

"Stop, please," Rosalie put both of her hands over her face, but kept her voice lighthearted.

"Oh Rose, we're just having fun," Jacob rubbed her shoulder playfully and she removed her face from her hands to smile tightly at him. "At least when he spends a whole song talking about sex with you, he mentions that he likes my film and I'm 'cool.'"

I couldn't stop my face from turning red.

"Pleaaaase," Rosalie groaned, throwing her hands up in surrender, keeping her eyes shut.

"Rosalie, where do you find these people?" Bella asked.

"They find me," Rosalie shrugged. "I don't know what else to say. I'm just minding my own business one minute and then the next, I'm uh, not."

"Its just the way you mind your own business screams 'write lyrics about me,'" Vera laughed and Rosalie smirked. "Like I said, you were born to be a musician's muse. You just… do whatever you're feeling. That's beautiful."

"Well, where do you think I got that from?" Rosalie teased Vera. I was piecing things together.

I caught a glimpse of Jacob running his fingers along the rim of his glass and found myself genuinely thinking about what exactly their relationship is to one another. I just couldn't figure them out.

"I saw the 1975 in London last winter," I mused and took a long drink.

"What were you doing in London?" Rosalie asked her muscles relaxing, taking my emotional removal as I'd meant it. I wasn't leaving.

"I went to school there for a couple years."

"Tell us something crazy," Vera prodded. She was perhaps one of the most vivid people I'd ever met. "I bet you have some stories from London." This girl wasn't going to give up.

I did have some stories from London…

I immediately grew frantic though.

"I shouldn't," I deflected with a nervous laugh.

"Oh come on," Vera urged with earnest eyes.

"Well, I um…"

"He's a Rhodes Scholar, so I bet he's lacking on the crazy stories," Bella saved me with an even tone as she sipped a martini. "I saw it in the paper back at home." She explained.

"Well look at you," Rosalie smiled, nudging me playfully with her shoulder.

"I heard people that smart do hard drugs, is that true?" Vera leaned forward on her elbows.

"Vera," Rosalie's eyes widened.

"I mean…" Vera defended herself. "You haven't seen each other since high school. These are the kinds of things you ask a person you haven't seen in four years. There's obviously no judgment from me. I have ecstasy in my purse if you want some." Vera gestured.

"Whatever works," I laughed trying to remain neutral so as not to offend or reveal too much. My first year in London was rough.

It all started with Adderall that I got from this girl named Maria from Barcelona that was in one of my economics classes. After I saw just how productive I could be, how little I could sleep and still function, how much I could focus and not be distracted by memories… I was sold. After some time and how well she proved herself as a study partner, I began to trust Maria, and she trusted me. She asked me to travel with her around the rest of Europe with her on breaks, and I declined with the excuse that I had more studying to do. She was persistent and my restraint was growing weaker each day. She was strikingly beautiful, undeniably intelligent, and her accent was beyond attractive. One Friday afternoon while we were walking out of Game Theory class, Maria asked me to go to Paris with her for the weekend. I looked down into her deep, dark eyes and they were burning more than usual. I looked away, saying that I had to finalize my research for an upcoming conference that would take the entire weekend. I remember her grabbing my shoulders and asking, 'what if you could get it done today?'

I remember the way Maria looked getting out of my bed the next morning, her long dark hair spilling onto her bare back. She told me it was okay as I held a hand to my bleeding nose. We left for Paris shortly after.

I took a long drink, the ice clinking at empty.

Rosalie narrowed her eyes, examining.

Small talk consumed us and after the initial high of seeing her face had passed and the novelty of my collided worlds became livable, I began to think.

I was adrift in all the questions I had, all the things I wanted to say. I thought of all the times I'd imagined this moment. I didn't want to waste any more time on the surface. We had to dive deeper. I was about to spontaneously combust. I needed to tell her, to talk to her after all of these years, to tell her all the things I'd done and know if she'd still have me. It wasn't easy to just stop, but I was so glad I did as soon as I saw Rosalie's face.

"I'm going to go grab another drink," I mumbled and Rosalie went to slide out of her spot at the booth.

"I'll come with you," she breathed, taking one last gulp of her drink to finish it off and I felt a smile threatening to show on my face.

"Do you mind grabbing me another too, Rosalie?" Jacob interjected and she nodded. His glance lingered on her and I saw him sigh. She was emotionally unattached and it was obvious. I almost felt bad for the guy.

Bella gave Rosalie a stern look, and I saw Rosalie mouth to leave her alone. My heart started racing.

We wove through the crowd together, toward the bar and she reached out to grab my hand to avoid losing each other. At contact, it felt like molten sunlight was pouring onto my skin.

"Rosalie," I began, my heart beating out of my chest.

"I can't hear you," she laughed as we became lost in the crowd of voices. She lead me farther and farther away from where we'd been sitting, concealing us with a blanket of people.

When we got close to the bar, and away from sight I pulled her nearer with intention. I felt her inhale sharply and look up at me with those big blue eyes. Her body tensed up. My stomach was in knots and I felt my heart beating out of my chest. Surely she could hear its rhythm.

"Isn't it crazy that out of all the bars in New York you picked this one?" Rosalie contemplated, aloud, speaking close to me so I could hear her. Her scent covered me like a blanket.

"It is."

"Out of all the time, all of the space… This one," she sighed.

"I'm glad."

"Me too," I saw her fiddle with the zippers on the sleeves of her jacket. "I never thought I'd see you again" Rosalie looked away from me with careful eyes.

"I didn't think I'd ever get this chance…" I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I'd begun to forget," she began.

"I didn't," the truth toppled from my mouth.

Her eyes were tethered to mine with iron cords.

"Rosalie… I'm-" I began deeply, wanting her to feel the authenticity in my tone. I felt my tongue catch fire with the words that had been on the tip of it for four years. Time stopped and the room was empty except the two of us.

"Wait," she cut me off frankly. "I have something I want to say first."

My stomach was in knots.

10…

"I forgave you a long time ago, Emmett." She breathed, a gentle and genuine smile on her lips. Her eyes were intensely connected to mine. "I did. I just… Okay wait, I want to explain something." She backtracked, let out a chuckle at herself, sighed looking like she was composing her thoughts, with a smile.

9…

"Now, I'm finally able to be one hundred percent, authentically myself. I'm doing what I love every day, creating art. I am happy. I am free," she was beaming. "I realized that when I want to do something, I should do it. If I want to cry, I cry. If I want to laugh, I laugh. If I want to sleep in and ignore my responsibilities, I do it. If I want to be happy, then I should do what I want."

8…

"I want to be here right now - with you." She grabbed both of my hands, her eyes scorching into mine. "I want to know you again."

7…

"Rosalie, I'm not who I was. I've done bad things," I breathed.

"I have too," She held my face in her hands smiling at me sweetly, unconditionally.

6…

"Rose," I wrapped her in my arms and she laid her head on my chest comfortably. She laced her arms around my waist tightly, her hands pressing into my back as if she were trying to fuse us together.

5…

"Tell me what you want," Rosalie's hands were in loose fists on my back fabric between her fingers.

4…

"Rosalie, I've never stopped thinking about you," words poured like overflowing water at her feet, waiting for acceptance. "I have been consumed, mind, body and soul with you every moment. I've missed you."

3…

"I know you're happy, and I know that you have your life in New York and all of your friends and your job and… I want to be a part of it if you want," My words were jumbling, and I wish I could've been eloquent and wonderful and what she deserves.

2…

"Okay," She breathed. A smile broke across her face like dawn on the horizon and she inhaled, her chest rising.

1

"I want that too," she beamed and I felt relief hit me like a wave.

Happy New Year!

The entire bar chorused and confetti and streamers filled the air. Rosalie and I looked around, watching the world around us as time slowed down.

"Rose, I…"

I turned back to her and when my eyes met hers, I saw something in them that something deep inside of me recognized from so long ago. My breathing hitched as she moved her hands to my hair pulling my forehead down to meet hers. My eyes closed, intoxicated as she filled the air around me. I felt her sweet breath on mine for what seemed like an eternity before she touched her angel's lips to mine with a shock that coursed through my veins as some great awakening. Her fingers tangled in my hair as the kiss slipped deeper and deeper until I knew we would never return.

"You've always had my love Emmett," Rosalie exhaled and I held her tighter, smiling against her lips.

"No one in this world will be as loved as much as you are, Rose," I told her, reluctantly pulling away just long enough to get lost in her molten-sky eyes.

"Oh yeah?" She kissed me playfully. "Wanna bet?"

I am beyond thankful for everyone that encouraged me over the years.

Thank you for allowing me to share this safe and wonderful space to explore and share my ideas.