Epilogue Three: Forever
Five years later ((2020))
Clary POV
The sounds of ripping flesh and screams from the wounded fill the air. Everything moves in perfect technicolor past me but my objective is clear. Stands out. His white blonde hair is damp with sweat, a manic grin plastered on his pale face. His hands swing in a blur of movement, and I seem rooted to the ground as he advances forward.
From his back sprout a pair of ink black wings, menacing and dark, moving in the time of his footsteps. I watch helplessly as he faces down the golden boy, his own light wings spread behind him. They lunge for each other, the boy with the dark wings spearing his sword through his opponent's stomach. Blood begins to drip, and there's nothing I can do. I'm unable to help. I'm-
Jolting awake I shiver, mouth wide, breath leaving me in frantic gasps. Reflexively my arms reach out, searching and seeking, until I feel him. Long and muscular and perfectly safe, body tensed in concern.
Dimly I feel his lips press to my forehead, muttering something to me. My heart beats so loudly I fear it'll explode out of my chest. Unable to answer his questions I simply close my eyes, trying to ignore the horrible images still residing there. It's not true, it's not true, it's not true.
At last, after what seems like hours, I finally feel myself relax. My ears, which have seemed to be filled with cotton, are bombarded with sound that feels sharp and harsh. I wince, pulling myself tighter to his chest. His arms, which have curled around me protectively, don't loosen.
"It's alright, Clary. I'm here. I'm always going to be here." Jace lowers his chin, setting it on my forehead. His breath tickles, blowing my hair gently with it. My throat seems to tighten, but I don't want to cry. Can't cry.
"I love you," I whisper, pressing my lips to his skin. He shivers, arms clenching. But he doesn't say anything.
For a while we lay this way, me burrowed into him as if to hide from my nightmares and him holding me almost impossibly close, our limbs folded together and my cheek against his heart. It's steady beating is the reassurance I need. When I'm able to I speak, words quiet in the dark room. As always he listens, not interrupting me or brushing off my fears. When I'm done explaining he lifts my chin, mouth finding my own.
I let him kiss me, finding comfort in the familiar feeling. "I know it's hard but you just have to remember it's over, Clary. Jonathan is healed. He's never going to hurt us - or you - ever again. We're safe."
"For now," I agree, "but for how long? Something is always going to be a threat, Jace. This whole life is a gamble, and it scares me. Losing you or the kids is something I can't even imagine."
He's silent and I wonder if he's thinking the same thing I am. Our kids, sleeping just down the hall, convinced nothing will ever hurt them and filled with childhood innocence. They're all too young to even have their first marks. Still my little babies, even if they are growing up way too fast.
"Well, for now we're okay, and that's the main thing. Try and go to sleep. I love you. I won't let anyone hurt you." In the dim lighting his tawny eyes look black and I shudder despite myself. It's been years since the battle but the nightmares are insistent as always. I can't seem to shake them no matter what. The smallest things set me off and it's just so hard.
If it weren't for Jace I'm not sure where I'd be.
Rolling over I curl into his side, draping an arm casually across his torso. His fingers find mine, squeezing gently, and then release. "It's a big day tomorrow. You need your sleep," he reminds me in a sleepy voice, sounding amused.
Inwardly I groan. "It's only a big day if you make it to be one, Jace."
I can almost hear the smirk on his face. "I intend on doing just that. Good night, Clary."
Sometime later I drift off, but I still feel Jace tense in his sleep, feel his delicate hands seek for my own. He shakes as if he has a fever, pulse frantic against my ear. His nightmares haven't left him either, and although he doesn't admit to them, I know they plague him almost as frequently as my own.
We may be broken, but when we're together, we're complete.
"Wake up, Clary."
A low voice says, breath warm against my ear. Fingers curl around my hip, the sheets tangled around me rustling. Cold air hits me and I shiver.
"I know you're awake," Jace insists, voice light. His mouth, which has been hovering close to my ear, whispers along my jaw. It ghosts lower, pressing insistent kisses in it's trail. I'm very, very tempted to open my eyes, but at the same time I don't want to. Because if I do I'll have to acknowledge the fact it's my birthday.
Birthdays were never my favorite holiday, and after meeting Jace my views on them didn't improve. I wasn't sure if it was due to him growing up without anyone else to celebrate things with or he was just a birthday person in general but Jace didn't take birthdays lightly. It was odd for the boy who seemed to be so solid and sarcastic but here he was.
"Go 'way," I mutter, burrowing my face into the pillow. It's still warm, and I just want to go back to sleep. "Not interested."
Jace chuckles, resting his head at the hollow of my throat. His hair tickles my chin, and everywhere our skin meets seems to fizz with tension. "Not interested, huh? How quickly you dismiss our love."
Grudgingly I open my eyes, the soft glow which filters through the window making me squint. Jace hovers over me, sporting a crooked grin. His weight pushes me down, blocking any attempts of escape I might have considered. Of course I had been considering. He knows me too well.
"Morning, birthday girl." He says, looking smug. Before I can roll back over he steals a kiss, cradling my face delicately.
"Don't remind me," I groan as I break away from his insistent lips. Jace laughs, nuzzling at my throat. My heart seems to beat ten times faster at the contact. "Why couldn't you just let me sleep?"
"You're only twenty eight," he teases. "You technically can't complain until your thirty. That's usually when women get touchy about the whole age thing."
I push him, and he rolls off, letting me sit up. "There's someone waiting to see you." He says, smiling. "Do you want to shower first?"
"Do I have that option?"
He shakes his head, getting up and walking to the door. I hear his almost silent footsteps on the wooden floors and a door opening. There's an excited exclamation quickly followed by a collection of hushes.
Then there's a flurry of gold and I'm surrounded. Jace leans in the door, watching with an amused expression. I sit up, trying to distinguish the gaggle of kids surrounding me.
"Happy birthday!" Stephen, the biggest in the crowd, yells excitedly. He's eleven, and is all limbs. He's tall and is the spitting image of his father. Somedays I miss the little golden haired boy he used to be, but I still love him the exact same way. He'll always be my baby.
"Thank you, Steph!" I return, hugging him to me. He pulls away, brushing the front of his black shirt, and the gesture makes my heart hurt. Gone are the days he used to never let go when someone hugged him. "Stop growing so fast," I say, smirking, "you're gonna be too tall."
"You're just too short," he counters, and I laugh. It's true - soon enough I'll likely be the shortest in my family. But for now I'm still holding my ground.
James, who looks bored as usual, yawns loudly. "Can I go back to sleep?" He asks, blinking at me with heavy eyes. I ruffle his golden hair, the same as his father's and Stephen's, and shake my head. He groans audibly, scooting away from me to sit beside Stephen.
I shoot Jace a glance and he shrugs, amused. James is only six yet his attitude is far past that. Stephen may have inherited Jace's exact looks but James got his infamous attitude. I could just imagine his teenage years.
Lastly, his pale blonde hair swept away from his golden eyes, is Jeremy. It turned out that our third baby hadn't been a girl after all. Instead Jeremy had came into our lives, adding to the growing list of Herondale boys that were nearly identical. Unlike his older brothers he was quiet and a breath of fresh air.
Except for right now.
"Happy bir'day," he says, flashing his gap-toothed smile. I hug him to me, his familiar curly hair scratchy against my chest.
My eyes meet Jace's, and I raise an eyebrow. He mouths the answer to me and I nod. At last I peel Jeremy away, looking at my three boys. "Are you guys hungry?"
"Yes!" James answers the loudest, racing Stephen for the door. Jeremy follows after, cautiously lowering himself to the floor before racing as fast as his four year old legs will take him.
Jace crosses the room to me, offering me his hand. I take it, letting him pull me up and towards the door. My hair's a mess and I'm wearing pajamas that are probably older than Stephen but he doesn't seem to mind. That or he senses that if he leaves me alone to shower I'll probably pull a fast one and try and go back to sleep.
At the end of the hall we stop, Jace opening the white door there. The boys have already thundered down the stairs and are fighting over something. I roll my eyes and Jace snorts, trying to hold in his laughter. "Typical," I stage whisper, and a laugh escapes his lips.
We step into the room, still quiet. Across the room, where the large window lets in the warm late summer sunlight, are the two smallest members of the family. Owen and Sophie, the twins.
When Jeremy had been born I had convinced Jace to try one last time for a girl. He'd eventually agreed and I'd gotten pregnant fairly quick. Except instead of having just one baby we'd been given two. Magnus had been on hand during the birthing since I'd gone into labor early and didn't have time to call on a Silent Brother, and was the first one to realize I had more than one baby being born. We'd all been shocked, me more than anyone. That was when, on a cold February afternoon in the middle of a snow storm, Owen had come into the world, followed by Sophie three minutes after.
I'd finally got my little girl, but she had came in a package deal.
"Do you want me to wake them?" Jace offers, looking hesitant. He knows as well as I do that the twins can be downright unpleasant when woken too early. For a minute I'm tempted to let him suffer their anger but I don't.
"I'll do it," I say, taking my hand from his own. Softly I walk to their small beds, one covered with a pink blanket and the other with black. Deciding on trying Owen first I sit as gently as possible at the foot of his bed.
His hair, which is a few shades darker red than my own, is frizzy from sleep. Unlike his brothers before him he has perfectly straight hair which he wears cropped short instead of long. It contrasts sharply with his eyes - which are the tawny gold of Jace's own. Reaching across I touch his small back, which rises and falls slowly.
I watch, cautious, as he begins to stir. At last his eyes open, blinking blearily at me. "Mommy?" He asks, looking confused. "Was wrong?"
"Nothing, sweetie," I say, offering him a smile. He reminds me of Stephen when he was this age. All questions. "It's time to get up."
"How come?" He sits up, rubbing at his eyes. I stand, giving him room. He watches me with a sleepy expression, looking as if he might fall over and resume sleeping.
"It's Mommy's birthday," Jace answers, suddenly beside us. "So we're all going to go downstairs and have breakfast together. Then we have something to do. Remember?"
Owen looks at Jace, confused, until something seems to click. "I 'member!" He exclaims, suddenly awake. "I 'member cause Stephen told me!"
Jace smiles at him, ignoring my accusing glare. 'Something to do' could be anything. I'm not exactly sure I like the sound of it. Owen scrambles past me, grasping onto Jace's hand and towing him to the dresser that holds his and Sophie's clothes.
I don't have time to listen. Instead I move to the pink bed, where Sophie is watching me indignantly. Despite being younger than her twin she's the dominant one and often bosses Owen around. She's also more demanding, and doesn't let her brothers mess around with her. Jace insists that it's because she has four older brothers. I insist that it's his attitude making another reappearance.
"Why are we up so early?" She asks, sitting up loosely. I brush her gold hair back, tucking it behind her ears. Her eyes, which are the color of my own, look at me accusingly, as if I've robbed her of something important. Out of all our kids she's the only one with my eyes, and combined with Jace's golden hair she's already in the makings to be a heartbreaker.
But not quite yet. "We got big things to do today," I answer simply, helping her down from her bed. "And we can't do them without you!"
She doesn't look so convinced. Slowly I coax her into getting dressed and we finally make our way down stairs. As I had guessed it was utter chaos.
"James! Leave Jeremy alone," I call, letting go of Sophie's small hand. James, who has been pestering his younger brother as usual, looks at me with an unfazed stare. I groan inwardly as I take my place at the table.
Sometimes I think it would've been easier if I'd had girls.
Jace POV
After breakfast, which consists of bacon and eggs and toast that's nearly burned thanks to Stephen, it's finally time. As soon as he's done Stephen excuses himself, all but running to the sink and then through the door. James is his shadow, laughing to himself as he chases his brother.
Clary clears her throat, giving me an accusing glare. I shrug, bashfully grinning. She has no idea.
Pretending to ignore her stare I finish off my plate, picking it up along with Owen's on my way to the sink. He's sitting beside Jeremy and the two keep exchanging looks that I know are full of excitement. Sophie is less than thrilled and instead sits pouting, giving Clary dejected looks as she eats.
"I'm going to feed the horses," I say, offering Clary a smile. She returns it but it doesn't reach her eyes. "Maybe you could bring Sophie when she's finished?"
"Sure," she answers, crossing her arms. I feel guilty for keeping the truth from her but I know it will be worth it.
After all, it's not everyday our favorite warlock makes a portal to bring everyone across the sea for a surprise party.
Clary POV
After what feels like years of waiting and guilt-inducing looks Sophie finishes her breakfast. I all but force her out of her chair, helping her clean up and then put on her runners, which - and no surprise here - are pink. She smiles at me as I tie the laces tight, securing her small feet. Sophie may be a girly girl but that doesn't stop her from being the fierce fire brand she is. I pity her brothers the day she can wield a seraph blade.
"Ready?" I ask, and she nods, reaching to open the door. She hums to herself as she walks beside me, admiring her shoes every so many feet. She reminds me of Isabelle in more ways than one.
Isabelle. My chest seems to tighten at the name. I haven't seen her in years. Not since Jeremy's birthday. I miss her - and everyone else in New York - terribly. We still write one another regularly but it's not the same.
Suddenly Sophie stops dead, her green eyes wide. I follow her gaze, squinting to see through the bright August sun. "Mommy?" She asks, voice quavering, "who's that?"
At first I see nothing. And then, from the edge of the tree line, comes two people, both attempting to keep the tired looking group of children in front of them together and moving. My heart flutters, and for a moment I forget Sophie.
"Alec? Magnus?" I call, moving forward. The taller of the two figures curls their hand in a wave, and I beam. "It is you! I can't believe it!"
Magnus reaches us at last, cat eyes narrow in the sun. His black hair is less wild and he's dressed somewhat normal but he's still coated in the usual glitter. I grin, reaching towards him. He embraces me, the familiar smell of sandalwood engulfing me.
"You never said you were coming to visit!" I exclaim, stepping away from him. Sophie, still confused, reaches for my hand. I let her take it. "How come?"
"Surprises, Clary," he winks, then looks over his shoulder. Alec has managed to maintain the kids, but barely. "I would've loved to tell you but I was sworn to absolute secrecy."
Suddenly it makes sense. "Jace," I say, feeling fooled. A flush rises to my cheeks. He must've had this planned for weeks. Magnus grins, then nods his head towards his husband.
"Come say hi. It's been too long."
Together we walk towards Alec, who looks hassled but still extremely indifferent as usual. Some things never change. His blue eyes drift over me, landing on Sophie, who has hid herself behind my legs. She's not the shy type, but she doesn't know Alec or Magnus at all so I can't blame her.
"She's getting big," Alec comments, a small smile curling the side of his mouth. He looks at me next. "It's so good to see you."
I return his smile. "You too, Alec. How've you been?"
One of the kids, the tallest boy, looks to his father. I recognize him instantly. With his blue eyes and dark hair it's not hard to. Gabriel. I can't remember the last time I saw him and now he's almost as big as Stephen. "Dad? Can I leave now?"
Alec meets his son's glare and his expression hardens. "You can say hi to your Aunt first," he says, voice low. Gabriel, clearly unfazed, rolls his eyes.
"Hey, Aunt Clary," he says quietly. I dart forward, ruffling his dark hair. He bats me away, blushing.
"Stephen will most likely be in the stables," I tell him, "go on."
He runs off, leaving Alec, Magnus, and I with the remaining two children. Unlike Gabriel they don't look like Alec. The smaller one, a girl, smiles shyly at me. She's about Jeremy's age.
"Jenna, Adrian, this is your aunt Clary." Magnus sets his hand on the boy's shoulder, nodding at me. The boy, who seems slightly bolder, says hi. Jenna doesn't, instead holding onto Alec's leg. She reminds me of Sophie. I know that they were originally Blackthorns and that their parents were killed in a demon attack, but they never knew the difference. Alec and Magnus are the only parents they've every known.
I open my mouth to ask Alec about Maryse and then there's an almighty bang, instantly followed by raised voices. I turn to look at the woods, unsure of what to expect, heart hammering. Blindly I shove Sophie behind me, pivoting so I block her frame from whatever threat-
"Clary!" A familiar voice calls, my head snapping up. At first I wonder if my eyes decieve me. There's no way...
"Clary! A little help here?" The man insists again, using his free hand to brush his brown hair out of his eyes. Numbly I walk towars him, disbelieving. When I reach him he catches me in a bear hug, the bag in his right arm clanking painfully against my hip.
I let my eyes wander over his face, drinking him in. It's been so long. "Simon," I whisper, and his face lights up in a goofy grin. "I can't-"
"Sorry to break up the reunion but I'm starting to debate whether it's moral or not to tie your son to the side of the barn," the tall woman beside Simon interrupts, tossing her hair over her shoulder. Isabelle. She hasn't changed a bit since I last saw her. Age hasn't seemed to even brush her yet - she could still be sixteen.
I glance at the boy she indicates too, smirking. He's small, maybe five, and is clearly buzzing with energy. When Isabelle married Simon we'd travelled home for the wedding and she'd told me she never wanted children because she was afraid of being a mom. It seemed like that didn't last long.
Catching my gaze, Isabelle darts forward, ruffling her boy's hair. "Clary, this is Conner. Next to him is Maxwell, and this is Hannah. And last but not least is Taylor." She touches each child, starting from the energetic boy and then passing on to his blue eyed brother and small brown haired girl. Taylor, the baby of the bunch, stands nervously behind her older siblings. She's very, very cute.
"You'll have to keep the boys away, Izzy," I tease, and she smiles.
"So will you. Is this Sophie?" She crouches down so she's almost at her eye level. Sophie, ever the player, whimpers and hides further behind my legs. "She's so big! The last time I seen you you were only learning to crawl."
"I'm three," Sophie announces, voice small. "I'm a big girl."
Simon smiles, setting the heavy bag he carries down. "You're the same age as Hannah. Maybe you guys could play together." Hannah looks at Sophie, curious, and Sophie returns the look. I hope they get along. It'd be good for her to make friends.
Just then Jace appears, hair tousled and brow wet with sweat. He's pushing a wheel chair, which my mother sits in, and Luke walks behind him. Stephen and Gabriel stroll a little ways behind, jabbing and laughing. James and Jeremy trail behind, looking dejected at being stuck with the task of babysitting Owen, who is humming to himself as he hops over branches and bushes. He wheels Mom over to our assembled group, and she breaks into a wide smile.
"Is that everyone?" He calls, giving me a smug look. I resist the urge to childishly stick my tongue out at him. "Okay. Let's get inside," he nods towards the manor house, pushing my mom in front of him.
I hate surprises, but this has got to be the best one yet.
Jace POV
After, once everyone's had an early supper and has spread out to talk and catch up, I finally find Clary. She's sitting in the large room we've jokingly deemed the library because of its tall walls. Magnus lounges in the chair beside hers, a flute of champagne in his hand. He winks at me as I step in the room, but doesn't take his attention away from Clary.
"Hey," Clary greets me as I walk towards her, reaching her hand out. I take it, wedging her to the side so I sit beside her. "Want a drink?"
I nod. "Please." It's been a long day, and I'm tired. Magnus flicks his wrist, producing another flute which he passes to me. I sip at the bubbly liquid, eyes flickering out to the view of the back yard.
Stephen and Gabriel are entertaining the rest of the younger group of geusts, jousting at one another with unsharpened sticks. I know Stephen can heal anyone if something goes wrong but I'm still worried.
"Don't worry," Magnus says simply. "Alec and Isabelle are watching them." His cat eyes wash over the shaded area of the sweeping meadow that's our backyard.
I shift, uncomfortable, and take a pull of my drink. Clary reaches for my hand, and I take it, the familiar feel of her somehow calming.
Just outside of the windows, her red hair swept over her shoulder, is Jocelyn. She's looking at us, a smile on her face. Luke rests against her knees, watching the kids. Curling a finger, Jocelyn beckons Clary.
"Sorry," she whispers, kissing the side of my mouth before untangling herself from me. "Mama Bear's calling." She pads quickly across the wooden floor, letting herself out into the summer air. It smells sweet, and slow. Like home.
When she's gone Magnus looks at me. "We've come a long way," he says, eyes a million miles away.
"Yea," I agree, swirling the contents of my glass. "Yea, we have."
"You remind me of William." He says, a smile curling his honey colored skin. "I think he'd have been very proud of you. And your kids. I never thought I'd see the day Jace Lightwood had five children."
I snort, looking down. "As a matter of fact Owen and Sophie weren't planned. It was a package deal."
Magnus grins. "I know."
We grow silent, looking at our combined families scattered around the lawn. Black hair and brown hair of the Lightwood brood and the blonde and red of my own. Times have changed, and although it hasn't been easy, I wouldn't change a thing.
Never did I imagine a future with the small red haired girl who told me to stop that night in Pandemonium. Yet here we are, and I wouldn't change a thing. For once I feel complete. Loved. Safe.
For once everything is okay, and as long as I have my family, it always will be.
Sorry for the very long wait! I was sure the ending of this fic was disappointing and that's why it took me so long. Here's the final ending of After Her once and for all. It's been fun to wrote and your reviews and comments are so pleasant to hear! I really appreciate your comeback and hope you enjoy the ending!
Check back in the next few months or so for the sequel, which will be a series of one shots following the kids and their growing up.
Thanks to you all. You're amazing.
-Mtrench is life