Chapter 37 - Non Omnis Moriar

Bliss… Is this the feeling of a soul entering paradise? Have I really died?

"Open your eyes, Toshiro." A voice echoed.

He opened his eyes. Toshiro was floating in white nothingness.

"Who… Who said that?"

"Look to the right."

He looked to the right, and saw a silhouette of a woman in a kimono. He couldn't see details, she was like a black blotch on a white piece of paper. However, some kind of green jewel was shining from the place where the neck of this figure should be.

"Who are you?"

"I am a goddess of old."

"Where am I?"

"This is a limbo between life and death. Many people state that they saw a light in the tunnel when they nearly died. The truth is that they were nearing this limbo."

"Why… Why is your voice familiar to me?"

"Have you already forgotten?"

"Forgotten what?"

"The vision."

"Wha….aaaa…ow…"

Images flashed in Toshiro's head, now he remembered.

"You… You condemned my ancestor…"

"Yes… What she had done, was truly condemnable. As you may remember from the vision, her fate was such only because I was merciful. I could have smitten here where she stood, but killing an unborn child is something even a goddess cannot do in her right mind. And thus, I sealed her magic power with a seal."

Toshiro looked at his wrist.

"So… That birthmark of mine…"

"Yes, it was the seal. But the time has come, and I picked you as my champion."

"A champion of a goddess? Ugh… My life just gets complicated as it is… But... I'm dead now, right?"

"Technically, yes. Practically, no."

"Huh?"

"Your familiar is keeping your body in a state called stasis. Your life functions are suspended, and your body is regenerating. It will take an hour or so in real time, but only a few minutes here."

"Only an hour? But I thought that wound…"

"Yes, it was fatal in every way. However, your… girlfriend… healed it up to the point where your familiar can repair the damage. Be careful though: if you lose a limb, you lose it. The same goes for eyes. In addition, if the damage is beyond your familiars powers, you are dead. The power also takes some time to recharge, so don't' try to die more than once a month."

"I see… Goddess, do you know why I crashed? In twentieth century language?"

"Don't mock me, stupid. I may be an ancient goddess, but I know everything. To begin with, every piece of your equipment, except for the pistol and that oversized watch, had some flaw."

"So I might as well died in some other accident?"

"Precisely. The flaw of the so-called Striker was the shut-off valve for the rocket booster. It did not close this time, causing the evaporated ether to gather in a cloud. When it ignited, the whole tank exploded."

"Guh… Horrible… What about my two guns?"

"It was actually good that you 'died' in the way you did now. Your cannon has a bolt loose in the autoloader. Sometime, it would loosen of while reloading, getting between the rammer and the primer of the shell, detonating it and the rest of the magazine. Your head and part of your right shoulder would be blown off."

"Ouch…"

"The MG, or auto cannon, or whatever you would like to name it, doesn't have blow-off valves for the cooling system. Someday, the pressure would simply make the tanks explode, sending a big, sharp and thin fragment of steel at your neck. It would be cut off clean of your shoulders. You wouldn't even know you died…"

"Gulp… Wait a second… I hope it wasn't engineered so that I could meet you?"

"No, Toshiro. I did not put a finger to this. By the way… Do you want to see something interesting?"

"Yes, please."

The goddess waved her arm, and a mirror appeared before Toshiro's eyes. Suddenly, an image appeared.

From an aerial view, Toshiro saw Shirley walking down the runway, with lifeless Toshiro's body on her hands. His clothes were in tatters, all stained with blood. On her back was Yoshika, with a blank expression, devoid of any feelings, apathetic and distant. The rest of the girls from the base were running to them.

The view changed to a side view. Minna approached Shirley. She said something to Shirley. She shook her head in a well know way meaning 'no, he's dead'. Minna collapsed on her knees and buried her face in her hand. Mio, the steel hard Mio that everyone admired for her decisiveness, was crying as she stood there, with her eyes closed. She was shouting into the sky, probably cursing all gods ever existing.

"Please, stop… I can't look at it…"

The image faded.

"Was… This what really happened after my death?"

"Yes. It was only a few minutes ago."

"Heh… It was worth dying only to see Mio cry… But anyway, if I'm a champion, than I have to have some quest or something?"

"Yes. Your primary quest is to help expunge the Neuroi from this world. But your secondary quest is different: it's about atonement."

"Atonement?"

"For the sins of your ancestor, Keiko."

"Isn't there a saying like 'sons should not suffer for the sins of their fathers' or something like that?"

"True. Nevertheless, what Keiko did was truly despicable and blasphemous. She wanted to obtain a sacred power for her own good. Moreover, she killed over thirty innocent people. This cannot be simply swept under a carpet."

"Okay… But how should I atone for that?"

"I will hold part of the answer as a secret for now, but the other part I can reveal: it's connected with your primary quest and that Yoshika girl."

"So I slaughter Neuroi and… do what?"

"Your relationship with that girl is vital for the success of your quest. Cherish it, and the both of you will receive my blessing."

"Okay… About that sacred power… Is that why I always go berserk when I get angry?"

"Yes. The Impure form of the Sacred Fire is connected to negative emotions. It amplifies ones power immensely, but clouds all judgment. If you would obtain the pure form on the other hand… It would have no negative effects, and it is even stronger. And it enables a certain forbidden technique…"

"Huh?"

"The Divine Wind."

"The same thing that supposedly happened on two separate occasions when the Neuroi invaded Fuso in the XIII century?"

"The exact same. I will explain how it works. It is actually not a wind per se, but rather an immensely powerful explosion. Humans will need a few years to produce a similar effect with their technology, but this one is a pure explosion, which the humans will only start to comprehend in a century's time. When you call upon the technique, you will be teleported way above the sea level, over one hundred kilometers. Afterwards, you will start descending at an astronomical speed. During your descent, the hydrogen molecules around you and in you will be infused with magic. Upon impact with the target, the pressure and temperature will start a chain reaction that will make an explosion of a few kilometer radius. Nothing will survive, especially you…"

"So this is basically… What?"

"Using a scientific term from a few decades ahead, you will be turned into a 'pure fusion hydrogen nuclear bomb'"

"I don't understand, but it sounds ominous… And how do I obtain this 'pure' form of the Sacred Fire?"

"I cannot tell you. But mark my words: you will obtain it someday."

"Okay…"

"Ah… She finished already. Time for you to go."

"She?"

"Oh, right. Your familiar is a 'she' in fact."

"What?! But that deep voice and the size…"

"It's a smoke screen. She is in reality a little frail snake."

"Can I know her name?"

"It's Yuki."

Snow… Hmmm… It fits, somehow…

"Talk to her sometimes, you just need to call her name. She is really lonely."

A mirror appeared before Toshiro again. It showed the common room. Toshiro's body was lying on a table. Everyone, sans Yoshika, was sitting around it.

"Are… Are they holding a wake for me?"

"Yes. Are you ready to return to the living?"

"Please, wait a second… I think I hear…"

"Minna, we have to report this to HQ…"Mio said with a gloom face.

"No, Mio. Wait a few minutes… I'm still shaken by this..." Minna answered with a lifeless voice.

"How could this happen… My bro…" Erica whimpered through tears.

"Okay, goddess… I'm ready."

"Good luck on your quest, my champion."

"Oh and… I have two parting questions…"

"Yes, you can tell them and later, Toshiro. You have a hint to my identity already."

"Okay… Goodbye, anonymous goddess, heh…"

Darkness… The sensation of having a body… I can feel the table under by backside… Time to pull the greatest miracle this unit has seen.

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

I said with a solid voice and opened my eyes. I see the ceiling of the common room.

A loud gasp sounded around the room. Toshiro pulled himself up.

Dizzy… That near-death experience surely cost me…

He looked around the mourners. Their faces were priceless just now.

"You guys seeing dead people or what? How about a cheer for Toshiro returning from the grasps of death?"

"TOSHIROOOOOOO!"

The girls all jumped at him, wanting to hug him. The solid oak table somehow managed to support their weight.

"Waaaaaah! My bro is baaaack, waaaaaah!" Erica shouted through tears of joy.

"I knew that part of Karslandian in you will manage!" Trude cheered on.

"Toshiro! Toshiro!" Francesca also cheered in a sing-sang tone.

Eila gave him a thumb up, and Sanya smiled happily.

"A true gentleman never leaves a lady…" Perrine had a faux-tsundere moment.

"I'm so glad you are alive, Toshiro…" Lynne humbly gave her approval for the current situation.

"Toshiro… Turn around…"

"Huh?"

Toshiro turned his head around.

"What the hell were you thinking dying like that? A true soldier of Fuso never gives up!"

"It was worth dying for, just to see you cry, Mio, hehehehehe…."

Mio was stumped with that answer.

"Minna, where is Yoshika?"

Everyone went silent.

"She… She had a nervous breakdown… She is resting in her room right now… I believe Shirley is also having a guilt trip, because she is circulating madly before the door to Yoshika's room."

"Okay… Everyone, stay here… I'm going to visit them…"

"Can you even walk?"

"I'll try…"

The girls dispersed from him. Toshiro slowly slid down on his legs. He stood up, but after taking a step, he swayed and almost fell.

"Toshiro, maybe I could…" Trude wanted to help, but was shot down immediately.

"No, I'll do it alone… Only my presence can help her…"

"But we can help you…"

"No! I have to do this alone… If I can't reach my girlfriend alone, what kind of boyfriend am I?"

A ruckus was to be heard around him, but Toshiro didn't matter.

He slowly went forward, step by step. He fell once, but managed to get up. Supporting himself with the wall, he went up, to Yoshika's room. The first thing he saw in the corridor was Shirley, making circles like mad.

So tired… Have to go on…

Then, Shirley turned herself around to him.

"Yo." Toshiro said and raised his hand.

"Y…"

Shirley fainted.

It was too much for her… To see her first 'love' die before her… Then seeing the said 'love' appear out of the thin air, as if nothing happened…

Toshiro managed to get to the door, and he opened it silently. Yoshika was lying on the bed, with her back to the door.

"Go away…" She murmured.

Toshiro stepped forward. Slowly, gradually.

"Go away." She murmured, louder this time.

He could now hear that she was sobbing silently. Toshiro approached her bed and sat on its edge. Yoshika raised herself violently and started shouting:

"I said GO AW…"

Their eyes met.

"Hello, my little princess. I'm back."

Her eyes widened to the point that her face could tear apart. She looked pale. Her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying.

She immediately embraced him and started crying anew.

"Tooooooshirooo… waaaaaah… I'm so sooooryyy… I couldn't help you…"

Toshiro patted her on the back and said:

"There, there… You said you were snatched from training, so you were probably exhausted… You did a good job though…. Thanks to you, I can now sit on this bed and have my torn up shirt soaked in your tears, heh…"

"W-what? What are you saying now?"

"You healed me enough for my familiar to 'repair' me in a near-death state. So all in all, you did well, my little rug rat…"

Toshiro gave of an honest smile.

"You will have to explain it to me in detail… And using simpler words… But first… Shirley told me something… Did you really… Do 'it'? I yelled at you, thinking it was her again…"

Toshiro sighed.

"Yes, Yoshika… After the party on the day Shirley broke the sound barrier, we did it while being drunk like shit… Please, forgive me…"

"Oh Toshiro… You were drunk... And back then… Well… Our love wasn't exactly that strong as now, was it? We were almost strangers in one unit… But I only forgive you this once!"

"Once is more than enough, Yoshika. And hey, now I have more experience in those matters so… Hehehehehe…"

"Oh stop it you… Pervert…" Yoshika blushed wildly.

"Yoshika… Can I lie down on your bed? I don't feel exactly well you know… Almost died and stuff… I barely crawled here to you…"

"Sure, Toshiro. Be my guest."

Toshiro wiggled a little and fell down on the bed.

"Ah… Rest for my tired bones… Wake me up before 2000, okay?"

"Okay, Toshiro. Sleep tight…"

"Thanks…"

He drifted away in an instant.

"Hey… Toshiro… It's time…"

The angelic voice of Yoshika woke Toshiro up.

"Ummm… Hmmm… Okay…"

Toshiro stretched on the bed and stood up.

"Thanks for waking me, Yoshika. Now I have a bone to pick with a certain somebody…"

"Who?"

"Erica's sister, Ursula."

"But… She's in Neue Karlsland… And why do you want to talk to her?"

"I want to talk to her about the meaning of life…"

Toshiro went out of Yoshika's room, leaving its occupant wondering what he meant.

Well, that nap did good… Time to visit Minna…

He went to her office, and didn't even bother knocking.

"Minna, I need a word with you." Toshiro said with all seriousness.

"Toshiro, why so serious?"

"I need you to reach Neue Karlsland, Ursula Hartmann to be exact. I'll probably need a replacement for my Striker."

"Already done that. She will be coming personal in the morning tomorrow. We recovered your Striker by the way… What a sorry sight…"

"You know what… I'll see it tomorrow… Today is just too much for me…"

"Toshiro… What you said about you and Yoshika… Is it true?"

Toshiro's magic activated subconsciously.

"Do you intend to interfere, Minna?" Toshiro asked with a voice cold as the Antarctic.

"Calm down, Toshiro… I'm actually happy for you two… Maybe… Maybe you will have a better result than Kurt and me… But don't do funny stuff in the base, it would be inappropriate!"

"Okay, Minna. We are lovers only for about three days, so no pressure, heh…"

"Um, could you tell me about that moment?"

"Three days ago? Sure, it's a beautiful story when I think of it…"

Toshiro related Minna what happened under the starry skies of Britannia on that magic day. By the end, Minna had tears in her eyes.

"Oh Minna… Don't cry…"

"But it was so beautiful… If they made a movie about it, the whole audience would probably be in tears…"

"I don't know… What do you think about Mio though? Will she be as willing to accept my relationship with Yoshika like you?"

"That's actually a tough question… But leave that for tomorrow, go fetch yourself a sandwich or two, you are probably starving, but don't know it."

"True…"

As if on cue, Toshiro's stomach gurgled.

"Ha! A man's body is always true to itself!" Minna laughed.

"Yyyyeeeaaaah…. Oh, talking about my body… I think I would need spare clothes… This uniform is basically wash rag material now, and I look stupid in the other one, patched up like that…"

"Sure, Toshiro. I already notified the tailor. You will get new uniforms tomorrow afternoon."

"Cool. Bye now, Minna!"

"Bye!"

Toshiro went and ate a full plate of sandwiches, and then took a bath.

On the way to his room, he met Mio.

"Mio… Looks like you are waiting for me?"

"Damn right! What's all that nonsense about me crying, you having a girlfriend?!"

"Let's talk in my room, shall we?"

"Fine…"

In Toshiro's room, Mio asked again.

"Explain yourself."

"Where do I start…? When I supposedly died, I was actually put in some coma like state. My familiar healed my body, while I was conversing in a limbo with some goddess that didn't want me to see her face. While I was there, I was shown images on some mirror, of what happened when I was 'out'. I saw you crying, and probably cursing everything what the world stands on. Then I learned some stuff about powers and I was returned to the living."

Mio was looking at him like thirteenth century peasants would look on some guy who told them the world was round, and that in the future there are machines that fly.

"What?"

"I told you already, believe it or not. Regarding issue number two: yes, Yoshika and I are two lovey dovey's. Take it or leave it, I will smack anyone that will try to separate us."

"Okay, okay… Just don't try funny stuff with her… If you know what I mean…"

"Yeah, yeah… But I'm wondering about the identity of that goddess…"

"You said that you saw thing on a mirror… I may be wrong but… It could have been the Yata no Kagami…"

"W-what?!"

"Yes… The mirror of goddess of the sun and the universe…"

"Amaterasu-ōmikami… Oh shit… What have I gotten into…"

"What, what do you mean?!"

"She chose me as her champion, to expunge the world of Neuroi…"

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah… You heard that right…"

"Toshiro, gods damn you! The goddess of the sun herself smiles upon you, lucky bastard…" Mio stood up from the bed. "I'll leave you now, have some sleep. Good night."

"Good night, Mio. I hope I'll even sleep a minute…"

Mio left his room. Toshiro undressed from his ragged uniform and put the insignia from it into the chest. He dropped down on his bed, and tried to sleep.

Hey, snake. I need to talk.

Notes

Previous chapter title – 'Remember that you will die'

Current chapter title – 'I shall not wholly die'

Of course, there is a Mark Twain reference in the chapter, duh!

If you want to praise/rant about my story, please leave a signed review, so we can continue via PM's. Seriously, I don't bite. Unless provoked :]