Once again, sorry for the wait and thanks for all the reviews! Oh- and I've drawn a lot of fanart for this fic, which I've posted on my HP fanpage on facebook. The link to said page is on my profile. I'll make a separate photo folder for my fanart to make it easier to find the picture. If any of you have drawn or plan to draw any pictures for this fic, post them there. ^_^
"Today, you will all be starting your Shrinking Solutions. Judging by simply skimming the essays I assigned over the summer that you have just returned to me, many of you are still abysmally lacking in understanding of this branch of potions. This is, however, a more simple type of Shrinking Solution, and I should expect the majority of you to grasp it."
Severus automatically glanced towards Vesperra, who was by far the top student of all his third years. That wasn't saying much, though, considering that she was also his best friend and had actually woken up that morning with his arms around her. Though the morning hadn't yet challenged his temper (apart from the split second where Tracey Davis was about to say 'Grease-perra' in front of him and he thought he might have flipped out), he wasn't exactly an optimistic person, and would very much like to still be lying on his couch with Vesperra. He found himself wishing that Lupin had had the Slytherin third years on a Friday, so the morning after wouldn't have had lessons. But then he felt bad for wishing that, because he really wished that Vesperra hadn't had to face a Boggart at all.
Continuing right from where he left off, Severus explained the instructions as the students took notes. In his classes, every student took notes—he didn't force them to, or even tell them off for not doing so. They were simply afraid not to. However, he often didn't say anything if a Slytherin wasn't paying attention in his class, so it was really only all the other Houses that needed to be afraid. What was ironic was that Vesperra was likely the one person that took more detailed notes than anyone else, and yet she was the one person that really didn't have to. Her memory was excellent, and he'd have given her a perfect score even if she did an awful job. Then again, her skill at potion-making was one of the things he liked so much about her.
"You have until the end of the lesson to finish your Shrinking Solution," said Severus to the silent dungeon when he finished the short lecture. "Begin."
At the table closest to Severus's desk was Vesperra, who had once again managed to take that table before anyone else could. It wasn't very difficult, since no one in their right mind would want to sit the closest to Severus. And she knew it only made everyone think even more that she was in love with him, but it really didn't make a difference anymore. They had seen the Boggart, and the damage had been done. Sitting up front as she had done all last year wasn't going to change anything, and it might have been worse if she sat farther from Severus's desk, since all the other Slytherins would know that she was only doing it to try and make their taunting desist.
Knowing that Severus would grade her potion with a perfect score no matter what mistakes she made did not make Vesperra relax or care less about how well she did in the least. She didn't try as hard as she could in Potions only for Severus's approval—she did it for her own approval as well. She was a perfectionist, and couldn't stand it if she got a single thing wrong. There was more to potion-making than just memorizing ingredients and instructions, though; there was the application of other knowledge and understanding why things must be done a certain way. Potions separated the geniuses from the idiots, and she prided herself in knowing that she was in the higher range in intelligence, right up there with Severus.
Vesperra got to work immediately after Severus gave the word, having already set up her cauldron. She didn't dare look behind her, but she didn't have to look to be sure that Pansy was exercising the regained use of her tongue by hissing in Tracey's ear about Vesperra and something about Severus not punishing her. Vesperra had obviously seen what had happened from her table in the very front, and had noticed that the shadows of Severus's face had deepened very briefly when Tracey had nearly said her awful nickname. She suppressed a smirk at the thought of what Severus would have done if Tracey had said it.
The lesson was mostly uneventful so far and what you could call 'normal' compared to the other Potions lessons they'd had. But, of course, this was the first Potions lesson of the year, and something interesting was bound to happen. When he saw fit to, Severus ceased the purposeless pacing around the class and moved in to observe and criticize what the students had so far.
Halfway through the lesson, when Severus was prowling through the rows near the front, he heard the faintly echoing noise of metal grinding against stone, which he recognized as the click of the dungeon doors opening. He as well as the rest of the class glanced towards the door, which was being pushed open to reveal Draco Malfoy, who had his right arm in bandages and bound up in a sling.
Dammit, Malfoy's back… Those were the thoughts of several people, Severus was sure, which obviously included Vesperra, and likely all of the Gryffindors. Except in Vesperra's mind, it was scattered amongst various curse words. But it meant essentially the same thing.
Vesperra had only glanced up for a fraction of a second to see who the person entering the dungeon classroom was, and looked back down at her table disgustedly when she saw that familiar pale, pointed face topped with white blonde hair. Suddenly very angry, she continued skinning her shrivelfig, though more harshly than she had been doing a second ago, as though it had personally offended her.
Though this was the first Potions lesson of the year and Severus hadn't yet been forced to deal with Malfoy, he knew how much Vesperra was dreading this, and anything that affected her, affected him. And with him back, he knew just as well as Vesperra did that the other students' taunts about her Boggart would only become worse.
Malfoy swaggered into the dungeon, completely unlike a person that was actually injured would do. Vesperra couldn't help but glimpse him through a side-glance, and had the sudden urge to vomit. What was stronger than that urge, however, was the dread she felt, knowing that, once they had the chance, the other Slytherins would inform Malfoy that Vesperra's Boggart was Severus's corpse. But she supposed that it was lucky he returned in the middle of class, because he couldn't do anything about whatever the others told him until the class was over. So Vesperra decided to actually try and enjoy the last taunt-free half hour as she prepared her Shrinking Solution, all the while mentally preparing herself for what was to come as well.
A few tables behind Vesperra, Malfoy had stopped at Pansy Parkinson's table. Vesperra was paying attention only to her cauldron, which she was adding her carefully chopped daisy roots to, so she wasn't aware of what Malfoy was doing, but Severus was.
As Malfoy passed the table with Misses Parkinson and Davis, the former, who had been looking particularly happy and relieved when Malfoy had entered the room, stopped him.
"How is it, Draco?" she said coquettishly, which filled Severus, who was nearby, with disgust. "Does it hurt much?"
"Yeah," said Malfoy, putting on a brave sort of grimace. Severus wanted to scowl at Malfoy's stupid act, hating how he was attempting to appear as though he had been through heroic endeavors and become a martyr of some sort, but he forced himself to look indifferent. That kid reminded Severus of James Potter almost as much as his own son did sometimes, but he was a Slytherin, and therefore he felt inclined to be decent to him at the least. If anyone besides Vesperra knew that he hated Malfoy… well, that wouldn't be good.
"Settle down, settle down," said Severus idly as he walked past, regarding Malfoy with only a side-glance. Malfoy went and started setting up his cauldron at Potter and Weasley's table; Severus stalked away, knowing that nothing good could come out of that.
As he came around to Vesperra's table, which was empty but for her and her own cauldron and ingredients, Severus leaned over her cauldron the way he usually did, with his arms folded behind his back. Viewing her face at a slight angle made it more difficult to discern her expression, but he could tell how annoyed she was. He peered at the sizzling liquid within her cauldron, which was green—not yet acid green, because she hadn't yet added the sliced caterpillars. In the past couple years Severus had known her, he had noticed that she tended to take more time in preparing ingredients than a lot of the others did. It was because she wanted to take the time to get everything perfect—and he loved how meticulous she was.
Before Severus could say anything to her, though, Malfoy called across the dungeon—
"Sir… sir, I'll need help cutting up these daisy roots, because of my arm—"
Vesperra scowled and huffed inwardly at Malfoy being such a little kiss up, but Severus said, "Weasley, cut up Malfoy's roots for him," without even looking up. He saw Vesperra's eyebrows knit together as she jerked her head towards him very slightly.
"At least there's some benefit we can get out of this…" he muttered so quietly that only Vesperra could hear, smirking slightly. "And your potion is perfect so far, but you already knew that."
She smirked as well, but it was even smaller than Severus's. Even though it was at the expense of a Gryffindor, and Potter's friend no less, Vesperra hated for Malfoy to be treated well at all—especially by Severus. But she tried to stop feeling that way in spite of her hatred for Malfoy, because she knew Severus had to treat him as though he was the favorite. It was part of making sure no one suspected their relationship was anything but student and teacher.
Just as Severus stood up straight to set off around the other side of the dungeon, he heard Malfoy's drawling voice again—
"Professor… Weasley's mutilating my roots, sir."
Severus approached the table where Malfoy, Potter, and Weasley were sitting—the latter two were frowning at Malfoy, who was grinning smugly. He stared down over his hooked nose at the roughly chopped roots, which were all different sizes, and smiled unpleasantly. Oh, this day's getting better already…. His lank, black hair hung over his face like a curtain, hiding most of the side of his face from Weasley, who was to his right, but his nasty smile should still have been obvious from the glint in his eyes.
"Change roots with Malfoy, Weasley," said Severus silkily as he looked up slowly.
"But, sir—!"
"Now," Severus said, using his most dangerous voice and narrowing his eyes maliciously.
Clearly enjoying this and wanting to take even more advantage of the situation, Malfoy went on, "And, sir, I'll need this shrivelfig skinned."
"Potter, you can skin Malfoy's shrivelfig." The boy hadn't done anything in particular to Severus lately, but it was always fun to exert his authority over students who needed constant treatment like this so they can learn that they're not superior to everyone else. Namely Potter.
Giving him a look of absolute loathing, Severus turned and walked away. Though unsure why, he was feeling rather evil today. He wished Vesperra had been over there to see it, since he was sure she'd have appreciated it even though it was in Malfoy's favor.
He didn't even have to check to know that Neville Longbottom was currently going to pieces, so when he arrived at the boy's table, it was no surprise to see him shaking and looking as though he had been exerting himself very hard. As Severus scowled down into Longbottom's cauldron, he looked purposely away to avoid the man's penetrating stare. As usual, the potion had been done horribly wrong.
Picking up a ladle from the table, Severus gave Longbottom a nasty look and dipped it into the cauldron. The boy had a dawning look of realization—or was it horror?—that gave Severus a strange sense of satisfaction. So he's not as stupid as he looks, is he?
"Orange, Longbottom," said Severus, ladling up some of the sorry excuse for a Shrinking Solution so everyone could see. All of the heads in the dungeon were turned towards them, including Vesperra's, mainly because Severus's voice always demanded attention. But apparently not Longbottom's, though. "Orange. Tell me, boy, does anything penetrate that thick skull of yours? Didn't you hear me say, quite clearly, that only one rat spleen was needed? Didn't I state plainly that a dash of leech juice would suffice? What do I have to do to make you understand, Longbottom?"
The boy had gone pink and was trembling from head to foot in pure fear, looking as though he might cry. This was evident even from several feet away at Vesperra's table, and she smirked, loving how frightening Severus could be… to other people, at least. She'd have liked to inspire the same amount of fear in people that he did. Sure, some of the other students were afraid of her, but it just wasn't the same.
At this point, all the Gryffindors but Longbottom were staring at Severus with looks of absolute hatred, and all the Slytherins were smirking if not smiling gleefully. Severus was smiling still more nastily, until—
"Please, sir," Granger said in that annoying voice of hers that made Severus's lip curl immediately, "please, I could help Neville put it right—"
"I don't remember asking you to show off, Miss Granger," he said coldly, without tearing his eyes from the trembling, round-faced boy in front of him. Over at Vesperra's table, she was smirking even worse. "Longbottom, at the end of this lesson we will feed a few drops of this potion to your toad and see what happens. Perhaps that will encourage you to do it properly."
At that, he glided away and down the middle aisle between the tables to returned to his desk, feeling wholly justified. Some might call it cruel, but he considered it completely fair. Besides, he was a generally cruel person. Life had been cruel to him, so he didn't hesitate to be cruel right back. Both he and Vesperra were that way—well, Vesperra was that way whenever she had the chance. She wasn't tall enough to tower over anybody, and she wasn't in any position of power, so her chances were limited. Perhaps that was why she was so vindictive when she did have the chance.
But Severus hadn't just randomly picked Neville Longbottom to be extremely cruel to, nor did he despise the boy that much for being the polar opposite of Vesperra—that was a contributing factor, though. He had a very good reason for hating that kid, and it was very similar, yet quite different from the reason he hated Potter.
About fourteen years ago, when Severus had been a Death Eater and one of Lord Voldemort's most trusted spies, he had heard and delivered the Prophecy. That Prophecy could have referred to two boys, one of which was obviously Potter, and the other had been the son of Frank and Alice Longbottom, who was currently on the other side of the dungeon, scared to death and hastily attempting to fix his potion. If Voldemort had chosen to go after the Longbottoms, Neville would be the Boy Who Lived, not Potter. Neville's parents would have died instead. Lily would be alive. And his life wouldn't be devoted to protecting the son of the man he hated. Longbottom was the ghost of what could have been… which wouldn't have been much, but Lily wouldn't be dead.
Severus knew that he would have stayed on Voldemort's side if Lily's life hadn't been threatened, and he knew that he'd have been sent straight to Azkaban after the Dark Lord fell—if he even fell. He was still rather confused about the Prophecy, and didn't want to take the time and effort to try and understand the paradoxes… But whatever happened, at least Lily would have lived. And he wouldn't have cared what happened to himself so long as she lived.
Longbottom couldn't be blamed for who he was and the significance he had in Severus's eyes, but he loathed the boy. It wasn't as deep a loathing as the one he held for Potter, or anything like the murderous hatred he felt for Sirius Black. Severus simply wanted to make him as miserable as possible. And, of course, he enjoyed the sense of power over Longbottom as much as he did over any other student.
This was what no one would ever understand, because he would never tell anyone. Dumbledore may have been able to assume it, and Vesperra may know one day whenever he decides to tell her about Lily, but no one else…. They would all continue to think that he was just a cruel bastard, whether they were on the receiving end of it or watching and enjoying it. And he really was. He was a cruel bastard. And Vesperra liked it, so what did it matter? In a way, Severus was doing this to Longbottom to make it up to Vesperra for him having been decent to Malfoy.
Turning back around in her seat, Vesperra returned to attending to her own potion rather than watching Longbottom struggle with his, even though she'd have liked to do that. Severus passed her at the last second her head was up and not focusing on her cauldron, his lips still curled into a malevolent smirk and him as a whole striking her as very impressive—like he always did. She was possibly more eager to see Longbottom's toad be poisoned than the other Slytherins were—not because she had any particular reason to hate Longbottom, but because Severus was getting to do it, with made it much more entertaining.
Severus waited for the last fifteen or so minutes before the end of the lesson, and passed the time by glancing at Longbottom, enjoying seeing the feverish state the pathetic boy was in, and at Vesperra as well, who was sometimes looking back at him. He then folded his arms over his chest and walked slowly through the middle aisle of the dungeon.
"You should have finished adding your ingredients by now," he said to the class. "This potion needs to stew before it can be drunk, so clear away while it simmers and then we'll test Longbottom's…."
The Slytherins all sniggered and smirked devilishly, and a couple laughed openly. Severus turned his back on them all and stood near his desk as all the students but Longbottom made to put away their unused ingredients and queued up to the stone basin in the corner to wash their hands.
Anxious to see Longbottom more humiliated and miserable than he'd ever been (as far as she knew), Vesperra quickly swept all the useless bits of roots into a rubbish bin and cleaned off her table except for her cauldron, then took her ladle and made sure she was one of the first to the basin in the corner of the room. Unfortunately, so was Malfoy.
"Don't get too close to me, Grease-perra," he drawled as she started using the water jet next to his. "I've already been badly injured—the last thing I need is a disease."
She had realized that they had walked in the same strides to the corner, with him slightly ahead, when she was halfway across the room, which had given her the chance to turn away and wait a minute before getting over there, but as much as she dreaded being near Malfoy, she didn't want to be a coward. So Vesperra cast him a scowl through the curtain of dirty blonde hair hanging over her face and ignored him as she washed her hands and ladle.
In her haste to get away before Malfoy could say anything else, Vesperra realized that Malfoy must not have been told about her Boggart yet. She was relieved, but at the same time couldn't help but dread what would happen once the lesson was over. But then, she remembered that there were still a few enjoyable minutes of class left.
With the end of the lesson in sight, Severus strode purposefully over to Longbottom as all the eyes in the room followed him, some happily and others fearfully. He stopped at the boy's cauldron and swiftly pulled a small spoon out from the inside of his robes.
"Everyone gather 'round," he said, his black eyes glittering and reflecting Longbottom's face, "and watch what happens to Longbottom's toad. If he has managed to produce a Shrinking Solution, it will shrink into a tadpole. If, as I don't doubt, he has done it wrong, his toad is likely to be poisoned."
The Slytherins hastened to form a tight circle around Severus and Longbottom, and Vesperra waited with baited breath, feeling much more eager for this than she should have been. Waking up in Severus's arms that morning had just put her in a rather good mood, she supposed.
Enjoying the sudden stillness in the room, Severus picked up Longbottom's toad, which sat amongst the slime and mess that the boy hadn't cleaned up yet, and dipped the small spoon into the cauldron. The potion was now green, but that simple fact hardly deterred Severus from his confidence that the toad would be poisoned. He tightened his long fingers around the toad, causing its mouth to open involuntarily, and he trickled the potion down its throat.
The next moment was very tense, in which neither Severus nor Vesperra doubted that what they expected was going to happen, but then, with a small pop, the toad had instantly reverted to its tadpole state, now wriggling in his palm. At once, the Gryffindors burst into applause, and Longbottom heaved a dramatic breath of relief that he seemed to have been holding in for several minutes.
Eyes narrowing and nostrils flaring, Severus stared into his palm. Cold anger was building up inside of him very quickly, even more so than it could have been in Vesperra and the rest of the Slytherins. That's impossible. That—little—Fuming on the inside, he reached into his robes for a small bottle of the antidote, which he promptly poured a few drops of onto the tadpole. There was another pop as the toad reappeared, now full size.
"Five points from Gryffindor," said Severus coldly as he released the toad from his grip and let it drop onto the table. Vesperra, who had been scowling deeply (partly from shock), relaxed slightly. "I told you not to help him, Miss Granger. Class dismissed." That would make sure none of the little brats thought they could attempt to make Severus look like a fool and get away with it.
Disappointed, yet not as disgruntled as the Gryffindors, who were giving the back of Severus's head death glares, the Slytherins shuffled back to their desks to pick up their things. At least points were taken from Gryffindor… thought Vesperra. But she was still frustrated. Of course it had to be Granger… of course the know-it-all had to ruin it…. Judging by the sour look on Severus's face, he was angrier than she was.
She slung her bag over her shoulder and reluctantly started to follow her fellow students out of the dungeon classroom. But, wanting to stall the inevitable confrontation with Malfoy just another second, Vesperra let herself fall to the very back of the line and was the last in the room.
Noticing her pause at the threshold and turn around for a moment, Severus looked to her and let his scowl relax into a grimace. She blinked, and her eyes flashed strangely at him before she turned again and left. For a second, he could very clearly imagine her squeezing his hand and, speaking in a reassuring way, saying, "We'll get him next time, Severus."
"Hey—Draco—you're never going to believe it…."
As she heard those words in Pansy's voice, full of shrill laughter, Vesperra could almost feel the disappointment from Longbottom's near-suffering in the air shatter as what was left of her momentary apathy was sent to crash and burn. It would be seconds now, before it happened….
Pansy retold the story of her Boggart, her voice carefully on edge, as though she were anxious to tell it perfectly so Malfoy would have the best reaction. His eyes widened slowly as the short story progressed, his pale face suffusing with color and his smirk growing nastier.
"And I missed this?" said Malfoy as the Slytherins bit back their giggles when Pansy was finished. He looked back at Vesperra, who was steadily putting up walls that were hopefully strong enough to keep his upcoming insults and taunts out. "Not that I'd want to see Professor Snape dead, but I wish I could have seen your face, Grease-perra… It almost makes me wish I hadn't stayed in the Hospital Wing so long! But of course, my injury…. I told Madam Pomfrey that I was fine, but she insisted on me staying…. I really didn't need it, though. Pain, I can tolerate."
He gave a huge, fake sigh and held his "injured" arm gingerly as Pansy beamed at him, apparently impressed.
"Ooh…" said Pansy, reaching out tentatively to lightly touch Malfoy's arm. "You're so tough, Draco…" She giggled.
Crabbe and Goyle looked more confused than usual, the latter furrowing his thick eyebrows together so that they looked like a unibrow. Crabbe opened his mouth to speak, but Malfoy noticed and elbowed him very hard in the ribs before he could.
As much as she appreciated the brief distraction from the topic of her Boggart, Vesperra found herself hating Malfoy even more for dragging out his hippogriff attack to make himself look like some brave victim…. He was neither brave nor a victim of anything. And she felt nauseated at the obviously displayed affection Pansy had for Malfoy.
Just then, they reached the Great Hall, which was quickly filling with students. That meant it was too late to use Langlock on anyone, as any of the teachers up at the Staff Table might see her wand out and directed at another student…. Damn. Malfoy and the others waited until they were all sitting down at the Slytherin table to resume taunting Vesperra, which Malfoy must have sorely missed during the several days he was isolated in the Hospital Wing. Well, Vesperra supposed Pansy must have been visiting him, but she wouldn't have had time to tell him anything about the Boggart in between last night and this morning.
"So, Grease-perra," said Malfoy, leaning forward on the table, nearly with his bandaged arm, as he had almost forgotten to pretend he was still painfully injured. "Did you cry? Did you faint, like Potter did when he saw the Dementors?"
It was then that those who had been present for the incident began fabricating a new story, exaggerating Vesperra's reaction to the Boggart to the extreme (it had already been quite extreme, though…) and laughing about it as though every part of it was true.
"I can't believe Professor Snape's dead body is your worst fear…." Malfoy drawled in between bites of chicken and a gulp of pumpkin juice, slopping a little of it down his front in the process. Normally this would have been embarrassing to him, but they were clearly all having too much fun to notice or care. "No—actually, I can…. Of course, we all knew you were in love with him, anyway…. Ooh, I bet Lupin told the whole staffroom—so Snape must know! I don't think you'll automatically become his favorite student again, if that's what you were hoping for…. Even better, he'll be deliberately avoiding you now!"
Silently eating without showing any signs that she'd heard any of what Malfoy was saying but for her scowl (which could have meant anything, really, since she was almost always wearing a scowl), Vesperra suddenly stopped chewing, as a thought had occurred to her. Merlin, Lupin better not have told anyone but Severus.… If the other teachers knew… Trying to push away the sudden anxiety, she decided to ask Severus about it later that night.
The subject of Severus's corpse having been her Boggart wasn't nearly half as painful to think about as it had been the night before, thanks to Severus. Apparently, venting your feelings did help… but only sometimes. After a night of being comforted by him and all that had transpired on his office couch, Vesperra wasn't feeling miserable in the least. In fact, she would have been in a much better mood if it weren't for Malfoy. It was only the fact that he was being his absolute worst that managed to make Vesperra as angry as she was.
During the punctuated silence, she had a very strong urge to snap her head up and say icily, "Well, Malfoy, what would you say your Boggart would have been, then?" But she wasn't feeling particularly bold at the moment.
As lunch was nearly over Vesperra stood up to leave the Great Hall, like many others were doing, Malfoy got up and followed, apparently not too keen to have her walk away while he was in the middle of saying something clever.
"You know, I'd hate to see the size of your kid's nose if you and Snape ever ended up having any," laughed Malfoy as he fell back to the end of the group of third year Slytherins with Vesperra as they walked through the Entrance Hall. "Not that it's likely, but whatever happens, it's either that or you ending up with nobody, because you definitely won't have anyone but Sna—What's up with you, Nott?" he snapped, looking over Vesperra's shoulder and frowning.
She turned her head as well, and saw Theodore Nott a bit to her front and left, his profile easily visible.
"Nothing," said Nott casually before breaking off from the group in the direction of the staircases.
But Vesperra had seen his expression, and he had looked quite as angry as she was feeling.
He couldn't say it had been one of his worse mornings, considering how it had started, but Severus hadn't lost his sour mood during lunch, and especially not afterwards, when he had stayed in the staffroom (McGonagall had wanted a word with him), and noticed the Daily Prophet hanging on the arm of a nearby chair. One of the smaller titles on the front page stuck out to him, the thick, black words seeming to flash at him as though they were much larger and had flown across the room from the yellowing newspaper, smacking him in the face.
While the staffroom slowly emptied but for him, Severus strode over to the chair and straightened out the newspaper, and read the article titled SIRIUS BLACK SIGHTED BY MUGGLE, NEAR HOGSMEADE AREA.
As his eyes moved down the article, he sat down in the chair that the Prophet had been on without consciously realizing it. He let his hands, along with the newspaper, fall to his lap and his head regained alignment with his neck, facing the wardrobe on the opposite wall. It gave a wobble, but Severus paid no notice to it.
How could he only be learning about this now? Albeit, his mind had been elsewhere during breakfast, and he generally avoided listening to the conversation of his colleagues beside him… and they may not have been talking about Sirius Black, anyway. Though it concerned the escaped mass murderer that the Ministry had been failing to recapture for over a month now, there wasn't much to tell and so the article wouldn't have taken up the space for a headliner story. Muggles couldn't exactly be trusted to know what they've seen, either.… But this was evidence that Black could be near Hogsmeade right now. Would that man be so stupid as to go walking around a village full of wizards and witches, where his face was plastered over every shop window in Wanted posters? Who knows, Black was mad… but if he could escape from Azkaban, who's to say he couldn't disguise himself so even the Dementors couldn't sense him?
This was news to Severus, and he was starting to get rather angry with himself for having separated his mind from everyone else more than usual that morning, and not hearing this sooner…. Why didn't someone tell him? Why didn't Dumbledore, at least, tell him…? Well, they likely assumed that he already knew and obviously wasn't going to willingly start a conversation with any of them about it. If he was correct in thinking that, then his colleagues must have learned well from their experience with him.
Severus remained in the low armchair for the next couple minutes, thinking about Sirius Black and feeling that sense of vindictiveness appear again. Those feelings always arose and bubbled up with hatred when his mind traveled to either Black or Potter (who, when they did appear in his mind, often did so together. In his life after Hogwarts and prior to this, he had always avoided thinking about the Marauders—even in his mind, he spat the word—, but now that a bigger situation was staring the whole of the British Wizarding World in the face, it would both impossible and stupid to keep them from his mind, even if he wanted to.
Was there a chance of capturing Black soon? Or did this news make no difference? There was a large possibility that it wasn't even valid, and that the Ministry was just trying to look like they had a lead when it was actually just a Muggle tramp that the woman had seen…
And then, his train of thought was interrupted as the door leading into the staffroom was pushed open, momentarily looking as though it had opened on its own, because it was a second before anyone came in. Severus heard a voice say, "Inside, please," and students began filing into the room.
He knew at once that this was Lupin's class, because he both recognized the voice and remembered from yesterday that Lupin said he had the third year Gryffindors on Thursday afternoon. So, even after what had happened yesterday, the man hadn't abandoned the entire Boggart idea? Perhaps he figured that Gryffindors ought to be much braver than Vesperra and the rest of the Slytherins, so they'll do a better job… or, even more likely, he probably assumed that none of the other students could have minds as dark as Vesperra's, considering their age. And that was most likely true.
Severus was merely mentally noting how stupid Lupin was and that werewolves never learn—he didn't care at all if the Gryffindors had to face their worst fears. Especially since Longbottom was in this class. Oh, this would be perfect… Severus's eyes glittered at the thought of what that pathetic kid would have to face as he looked around at the students, and he sneered as Lupin entered. He hadn't even glanced directly at the man since yesterday before dinner.
Lupin made to close the door behind him, and Severus immediately said, "Leave it open, Lupin, I'd rather not witness this."
Lupin had clearly seen him before having been about to close the door, which led Severus to wonder, nastily, why the man would have thought for a second that he'd want to stay and watch the students face their Boggarts. He most certainly was not going to, even though he'd have liked to see what Potter and Longbottom feared most—those would have given him good ideas.
But Severus had had bad experiences with Boggarts. After Dementors and werewolves, those creatures were definitely his least favorite—or, more accurately put, his most hated. He didn't want to be near them if he could help it, because the Boggart could easily turn to him. Severus was not going to face whatever it would become, especially not in front of other people—least of all Potter.
And that was the thing, really. He wasn't sure what it would become, just like Vesperra hadn't been. Just three years ago, and all the years of his life since he was nine leading up to then, he would have believed his Boggart would obviously turn into the dead body of Lily Evans, and he wouldn't have had a second thought about it. That had been set in stone, simply because of who Severus was. Now, however, he wondered… could his worst fear have changed? Could it be more than he had thought—could it lie beyond the obvious? Would a Boggart now turn into Voldemort, returned to full power, or even…Vesperra's dead body?
It was very difficult to decide. How could he possibly decide whether he'd prefer to see Lily or Vesperra dead? Of course, Lily had already died… so seeing her dead would force him to remember all the mistakes he'd made. Vesperra was currently alive; to him her death would mean that he had once again failed to protect something he loved, and that he was once again completely alone. And he had seen that before, in that nightmare…. That had been one of the worst feelings he had ever felt.
Whichever it was, it would be an unimaginably horrible scenario. Severus would not risk anyone knowing what he feared.
The class paused as Severus got to his feet and strode past them so quickly that his black robes struck out immediately behind him, billowing dramatically despite the lack of a breeze in the room. He didn't even throw a nasty side-glance at anyone, as he wanted to just leave as quickly as possible. But then, as he reached the threshold, an idea occurred to him and he turned on his heel.
"Possibly no one's warned you, Lupin," said Severus, "but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear."
There. That wasn't all he'd have liked to say, but it was the best he could do for the moment to get his justice. Severus was completely aware that everyone in the room but Lupin was glaring at him with intense dislike, but didn't care. It did, however, annoy him that Lupin merely raised his eyebrows.
"I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation," said Lupin, "and I am sure he will perform it admirably."
His lip curling, Severus narrowed his eyes and bit back a retort as he turned back around and left, shutting the staffroom door with a snap. Yeah, right, he thought bitterly. The day Longbottom accomplishes anything but wetting his pants in my class is the day Vesperra makes friends with Malfoy.
Throughout the afternoon lessons, Malfoy hissed comments about Vesperra's Boggart across the classroom (though he didn't have to stretch very far, since he made a point of sitting very close to her) and in the corridors whenever he could. All things considered, she had thought he'd be worse than this.
Dinner looked like it was going to be a meal full of insults with everyone taking turns while others stopped to actually eat, but not too long after the Great Hall filled with students, the Slytherins caught wind of what had apparently happened in the third year Gryffindors' Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson that day.
A fourth year girl leaned over as they started to sit down; she had a strange expression, as though she were trying not to smile and feeling guilty that she had to try not to. "Have you lot heard about the Boggart from earlier—?"
"Yeah, we already know," said Blaise calmly, yet somewhat rudely. "What d'you think we were teasing Grease-perra about last night?"
"No, not that, Zabini—" the girl started to say, only to have a boy that was sitting next to her lean forward as well and cut in, taking over the story.
"Grease-perra's not the only one with Snape for a Boggart…. You all know Neville Longbottom?"
Their curiosity piqued, the third years nodded slowly, but frowned, because they were all clearly remembering earlier that day in Potions when Severus had failed to poison Longbottom's toad. Vesperra's spoon hung suspended over her goulash for a moment, but she quickly corrected herself to seem disinterested and continued eating, though now listening intently.
"The Patil twins and that annoying Lavender Brown girl went around telling anyone that would listen about their lesson with Lupin earlier," the boy continued, his Irish accent quickly becoming thicker in his excitement, "and they were saying how that Longbottom kid's Boggart turned into Professor Snape." He let out a short laugh.
"Wait—just Professor Snape?" asked Malfoy, voicing what Vesperra was thinking. "He wasn't doing anything?"
"Not in particular. At least, I don't think so. But that's not even the half of it—apparently Longbottom actually managed to defeat the Boggart-Snape, and you'll never guess what he turned it into…"
"Well, spit it out!" said Pansy.
The girl who had originally been talking was looking rather frustrated until then, and she seized her chance to end the story on her own terms. "Longbottom had him in a dress—and a vulture hat, old women's boots, fishnet gloves and everything…. Professor Snape's not going to be happy when he hears about it," she finished darkly.
It seemed that most of the Slytherins in the immediate area were struggling with the decision of whether to laugh or look angry. Even to Vesperra, it was quite hilarious and satisfying to know that Severus was Longbottom's worst fear, but she and all the rest of them liked Severus, and they didn't like anything that made fun of him. This was ironic, though, considering that even Malfoy, who all but idolized Severus most of the time, commented on his hair and nose. But that was almost always when he was comparing him to Vesperra.
"You know, we really shouldn't be surprised…." said Malfoy, being the first to clear his throat and speak to break the awkward silence. "It's been obvious that Snape is the subject of Longbottom's worst nightmares… as well as Grease-perra's wildest fantasies."
He smiled smugly, and made an involuntary motion to fold his arms as he often did in triumph, but had apparently forgotten that he was supposed to be pretending that he was still in a lot of pain from his arm. Clearly hoping neither Pansy nor her friends saw, he moved his arms apart again.
And that's where the previous taunting resumed, but certain gaps were filled with conversation about Longbottom's Boggart and its Riddikulus form. Vesperra was angrier about Severus having been in a dress than the taunts. The image that came into her head at the thought of it was admittedly funny, but that was merely because of the absurdity of it, and not out of satisfaction at seeing Severus in a humiliating state, as it must have been for the Gryffindors that saw it.
At least it was drawing attention away from the story of her Boggart.
Severus and Vesperra had a lot to tell each other that night. They talked no less than an hour longer into the night than they normally did, Severus explaining about Sirius Black having supposedly been sighted, followed by the both of them having a discussion over it. It was basically the same internal debate that Severus had had with himself. He then mentioned how the Gryffindors had faced their Boggarts, and that's when Vesperra told him the story that had been traveling around the school like wildfire since that afternoon.
As that girl had predicted, he wasn't very happy about it. Severus didn't have to dread facing anyone's taunts, since he was a teacher and one that was feared no less, but he knew that, once the story got around the entire castle, the image of him in a dress would be in their heads whenever they looked at him. And since Longbottom had faced his Boggart, would he fear Severus less now?
Well, thought Severus as he closed his journal that night, I suppose I'll have to torture the little brat even worse now.
One good thing about Longbottom's Boggart was that the story had actively prevented the story of Vesperra's reaching the ears of too many people. The two stories had been mixed by the torrent of students passing the story along and others hearing snippets of it from across the corridor and passing along what they thought they had heard. People would think that Longbottom's Boggart had been Severus and that he had changed it into Severus's corpse, and then when they were told the entire real story, they tossed aside everything about Severus having been dead and assumed those were just random, irrelevant rumors. No one who knew the truth, who were mainly those of Slytherin house, bothered to try and spread the story of Vesperra's Boggart, because they were all distracted by Longbottom's.
Though Severus hated that Longbottom had theoretically one-upped him, he was glad for this as well, because it meant Vesperra was often being ignored in favor of more interesting gossip—and that was much better than being constantly tormented. That didn't mean, however, that Malfoy and the others didn't still make nasty comments about her obvious love for Severus, especially when Severus passed them in the corridors.
It wasn't as if she wasn't used to this level of torment, because the things they said weren't any more frequent or cruel than they had been in the past, but it was the subject of the taunts that bothered Vesperra.
"Have you confessed your love for him yet, Grease-perra?"
"You might as well, since he'd be an idiot to not have figured it out yet."
"Not that he'd ever want you.…"
It was the same thing, over and over, with the words tweaked a bit every time, and new things added occasionally. And she wasn't sure why, but Vesperra hated it even worse now that she was aware that their taunts had some truth to them. Before she had admitted to herself how deeply in love with Severus she was, she had hated them relentlessly teasing her for something that wasn't even true (or at least she hadn't believed it was). Now, she hated that they were teasing her for something she couldn't help.
Above all, Vesperra hated that they had any idea of her feelings for Severus. Granted, it was better than any of them being given solid proof and knowing for sure how much she loved him, or knowing that she and Severus actually did have a very close relationship… but she wished that no one had seen her Boggart. No one had the right to know what she feared most… and it was all Lupin's fault that they all knew.
Hating the man more than ever, Vesperra went to the Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson the next week hoping that Lupin wouldn't pull a Lockhart and try to keep her after class…. He would either try to apologize to her, or ask her about the nature of her relationship with Severus… likely both. Unlike the way she had been with Lockhart, she actually had done the assigned essay on Boggarts, though resentfully. She wondered if Lupin would be biased in grading her paper, since he knew she was close to Severus, a man he had hated….
When he entered the room, with his robes looking shabbier than ever, his smile didn't fade as he glanced in her direction. That left Vesperra no less suspicious of him… but she couldn't deny that the lesson was rather interesting.
In the next few Defense Against the Dark Lessons, Lupin taught them all about Red Caps and Kappas, respectively. Vesperra hated to admit it, but they were the best Defense lessons she'd had yet. In her first year, the position had been held by Quirrell, who stuttered too much for her to always understand what he was saying, and his lessons were rubbish, anyway. The next year, DADA lessons had consisted mainly of Lockhart teaching them more about himself and the brands of hair products he used than he did about actual defense. Actually, Vesperra didn't think Lockhart had taught them a single thing.
But now, the Defense class wasn't being wasted. Whether or not Lupin had any ulterior motives involving malevolence towards Severus or anyone else, he was actually a competent teacher. Vesperra was actually learning useful things—much of the information Lupin told them about Red Caps wasn't even in the textbook, and Lupin had brought live specimen of the creatures to class.
It was a strange feeling, because she wanted so badly to hate the class…. She dreaded having to be near that man, but she definitely was not going to skive off class, nor was she going to refuse to do any of the work. The feeling wasn't unlike the way she felt in the rare times she agreed with anything Malfoy said. Most would find it very difficult to pay attention to a teacher they hated, but Vesperra forced herself to recognize the fact that the information being taught in the lesson was separate from Lupin himself.
The other Slytherins didn't seem to like him very much in the second lesson either, even after he had caused Vesperra a lot of humiliation. But they couldn't have loathed him as Vesperra did. They did, however, seem quite interested in the creatures they were learning about, and clearly would have guiltily agreed with Vesperra that these were easily the best Defense lessons they'd had yet. At least half of them even started to like Lupin.
Malfoy, however, donned a look of contempt every time Lupin walked by, and didn't bother to keep his voice down too much when he insulted the man's robes in the corridors while Crabbe and Goyle sniggered. As far as Vesperra knew, there was nothing in particular that Lupin had done to warrant this animosity from Malfoy—Malfoy was just the type to look down upon and insult everyone poorer than him.
It was no secret that Lupin was quickly becoming one of the most liked professors at Hogwarts. A good number of Slytherins even liked him, despite the fact that he had the job Severus, who was the favorite teacher of all the Slytherins, had wanted for years. Frankly, it annoyed Vesperra. They wouldn't like him so much if they knew what he was, she found herself thinking rather often. Or that he had been good friends with the mass murderer that the Ministry has yet to catch.
Apart from Defense Against the Dark Arts, most of Vesperra's other classes remained the same, although Potions class was more entertaining, since Severus was in a fouler mood than usual and took it out on Longbottom, whose fear of Severus hadn't seemed to decrease in the least bit. Now that Vesperra thought about it, being mercilessly bullied by Severus wouldn't be any less frightening if he was wearing a dress.
He was much calmer during the time on the weekends that he spent with her, though. He was always calmer with her. Vesperra wasn't sure whether this was because he didn't want to be bitter when he was with her and possibly lose his temper, because his mood was instantaneously lifted by her presence, or because it was impossible for him to look at her with such frustration and coldness. Whichever it was, she was glad to know she had such an effect on him.
Care of Magical Creatures with the Gryffindors had changed since the first lesson as well, but for the worse. After the incident (a very good one, in Vesperra's opinion) with the hippogriff attacking Malfoy, Hagrid must have lost what was left of his confidence, for he was now having them look after flobberworms.
Classified as boring even by the Ministry, flobberworms were thick, ten-inch long brown worms that did absolutely nothing but secrete mucus. Vesperra scowled down at the one that Hagrid had given her at the beginning of the next lesson, trying to understand why these creatures even existed. They seemed to have no point in their lives but to eat lettuce and be disgusting. Many others shared this view, especially the Slytherins, who were angry that Hagrid hadn't been fired yet.
"Eugh, I'm not touching that thing!" squealed Pansy as Hagrid dropped a flobberworm on the table in front of her. Hagrid had either not heard her over the sound of his depression or chosen to ignore her, for he kept walking.
It didn't take long for Hagrid to explain the proper care of a flobberworm, and Vesperra wondered why there were rules for taking care of the things at all. Why would anyone want to take care of them? All it was, really, was poking lettuce down their slimy throats. The only problem was distinguishing one end from the other and finding out which one the head was.
Some people, including Vesperra, quickly realized that flobberworms were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and without the aide of humans (and if they weren't, that would have made them even more pathetic), and decided to just leave them as they were to eat at whatever pace they liked. Others refused to touch them altogether, who were all girls. It made for a very boring and uneventful lesson, which left Vesperra with nothing to do but stand around. She knew Malfoy must have been getting bored as well, which was far from being a good thing.
He must have been glad that Hagrid hadn't brought anything else potentially dangerous enough to injure his other arm, but he didn't show it. A few people down from Vesperra, Malfoy was frowning. Hardly seconds after she turned away from him, she saw something growing bigger and closer out of her peripheral vision, and ducked.
She was a moment too late; the top of her head was hit by something thick and slimy, which then fell onto the table after impact. Those around her broke into sniggers, and Vesperra, angry, whipped her head around. Malfoy had thrown a flobberworm at her while Hagrid was turned the other way. His eyes were alight with glee as he suppressed laughter.
"Don't worry, Grease-perra," he hissed down the table, "I don't think the mucus in your hair will make any difference…. Hell, it might even help—the flobberworms are definitely prettier than you."
Hagrid had then turned back around to make sure no ones' flobberworm had died yet, so Vesperra couldn't retaliate by throwing a flobberworm back at Malfoy. A shame, too, since she could have gotten him full in the face.
It was disappointing that the one class besides Potions Vesperra had actually looked forward to over the summer was now her least favorite subject—well, second least. A class would have to be completely dreadful to take that title away from History of Magic. She couldn't even count Defense Against the Dark Arts as any of her least favorites—if she didn't hate Lupin so much, that would have been her favorite class after Potions.
Now, Vesperra was mostly looking forward to Ancient Runes lessons—almost more than Potions. Potions was her best subject and taught by Severus, but she talked to Severus every night and spent several hours with him every weekend. In Ancient Runes, she was free of Malfoy. The only annoyance was Hermione Granger, whose hand was in the air ninety-eight percent of the lesson.
They hadn't gotten to real translating yet—it was just individual words right now, and simple ones at that… numbers, common words, animals…. And they were learning that enunciation was just as important in speaking words in the runic language as it was in Charms. This counted even more for the ancient spells that were in the runic language.
Vesperra was busier than she had been last year, even though it was only the beginning of the year. She only had one extra class that she actually had to put forth effort in, but as it was their third year at Hogwarts, the teachers thought them capable of a bigger workload. It was going to be like this, with the workload gradually becoming more and more difficult, until they finished their O.W.L. exams in fifth year. But, as she always had, Vesperra ploughed through her homework quickly enough to make time for Severus because of her lack of friends or any life outside schoolwork and Severus.
As September drew to a close, the weather grew colder and the wind more bitter, as though preparing for the harsh weather of October. It wasn't raining very often, though, so the walks to the greenhouse twice a week for Herbology weren't yet muddy. Still, most people stayed inside the castle, and Vesperra kept to either her dorm or the library—or Severus's office, when she had the chance.
She was taunted less and less about her Boggart, as Malfoy now spent much of his time talking about how angry his father was, and how it would be no time before Hagrid was sacked. Vesperra didn't doubt that Lucius Malfoy would make a case to the Ministry, where he still had plenty of influence despite no longer being a school governor. Once again, she remained neutral, and didn't care whether or not Hagrid was fired or if anything happened to the hippogriff that had attacked Malfoy.
Although, she found herself hoping that Hagrid would switch back to dangerous creatures, preferably one that actually would kill Malfoy this time.
For Severus, the rest of September was rather uneventful. Vesperra was, naturally, his only source of real happiness, and the time he spent with her provided a steady flow of it. Otherwise, he fed his vindictive side by being harsh to all non-Slytherin students, particularly Longbottom.
He kept an eye and ear out for news of anymore sightings of Sirius Black, but there was nothing but the bi-weekly announcements from Cornelius Fudge saying that Black was still continuing to avoid capture. Never having been a very patient man, Severus was frustrated with the lack of news. He wanted to know how Black was doing it, and he didn't want to wait around for information. It seemed that, once again, there was nothing he could do. And this time it really was just him—Vesperra had no part in this. She may have hated Black enough to kill him, but she didn't know the half of Severus's hatred or motives for wanting to catch Black himself. Besides, all the curses she knew would do no good against someone as mad or powerful as that man.
As for the werewolf, Lupin appeared to have been true to his word and hadn't told anyone about Vesperra's Boggart. Severus was a bit surprised, actually, to see that none of the other teachers had heard about it from any of the students, since the staff often caught wind of the rumors that flew around the school. Perhaps a few of them did know, but were very good about not acting any differently around him or mentioning it to or around him. He considered taking a look into each of their minds to see who knew and who didn't, but didn't want to go through the trouble of using Legilimency on all of them—and he normally saved robbing the privacy of one's own mind for his worst enemies. Even if some of them knew, he supposed it didn't matter, because they would just assume the same as all the Slytherins had.
But Severus was keeping an eye on Lupin, however much he hated to look in that man's direction. He didn't trust him, especially not now that Lupin knew one of the things he'd have preferred to keep from everyone—even though he gave no sign of wanting to or being stupid enough to reveal Severus's secret to anyone….You could never know. You could never trust a werewolf, and even less so one that had had a part in your near-death.
In the last week of September, Severus was bitter and angrier than normal, having dreaded the time to come where he would have to brew the Wolfsbane Potion for Lupin. It wasn't so much the difficulty of the potion that he hated as it was the prospect of actually helping Lupin… But it would keep him from harming the students, which was what Severus wanted.
The Wolfsbane Potion, as complicated as it was, only took three days to brew. Come to think of it, it would have been easier if it took a month or more, because then there'd be time to wait while it simmered. But instead, it would keep him busy for several hours at a time, and he would have to stay alert to make sure everything was exact. He had to plan ahead to figure out how the timing was going to work, because it had to be drunk fresh, and during the five days preceding the full moon. The three days before those five days were during the week, and Severus couldn't have the potion interfering with his teaching schedule. When he finally worked all of it out, he figured that he'd have to stay up several hours later than he normally did.
Staying awake was no problem, since he could easily take a potion to keep him from getting tired, but he didn't like that it would keep him too busy to talk to Vesperra. Severus had never minded having a lot of work to keep him busy before, but that was because it kept his mind off other things, and gave him something to do. Potions, especially, were even more satisfying to finish when it took a lot of work. And he still appreciated the complexities of brewing and had patience when it came to particularly difficult potions, but ever since he became friends with Vesperra, he often did have something to do—talk to her. It had been very long since he had gone more than a day or two without at least talking to her. Actually, he wasn't sure if there ever had been three days in succession where he didn't even speak to her.
On the last Sunday of September, Severus insisted on Vesperra spending the entire day with him, as the next day would be when he had to start the Wolfsbane Potion for Lupin—so he might as well spend as much time with her as possible before then.
Vesperra woke up to the small book in her arms thudding against her side, as though frantically trying to escape her grip. Still half-asleep, she didn't realize what was going on until a couple seconds later. Straightening up and simultaneously rubbing her eyes, she held her journal down with one hand and undid the latch that bore a glowing S with the other. As tired as she still was, she knew what Severus writing a message to her this early meant, and watched the journal flip itself to the right page eagerly.
Are you awake?
No, I learned to write in my sleep.
Very funny. I'm sorry if I woke you up, but I'd like you to visit.
Vesperra was already pulling on clean robes before that message even appeared, and quickly crammed her head through the hole of her shirt before writing back.
It's fine. I'll be there in a few minutes.
True to her words, she arrived at his office door minutes later, and was no longer tired. Her rush to get there had fully woken her up. When Severus opened the door, he noticed that her hair was less lank than it normally was, and instead several flyaway strands gave her a slightly windswept look.
"Did you run here?" said Severus with an amused tone as he let her in.
Vesperra leaned against the wall, looking at Severus with an expression of mock mischief. "What makes you think that?'
He smirked, and quickly cast an Imperturbable Charm on the door. The habit of doing that should have worn off during the summer, but it hadn't. And Severus would have done it anyway, just to be safe. Malfoy may have seemed to stop thinking that he and Vesperra had any sort of relationship, but there was no telling what that kid's motives were. And now that he, along with most of the rest of Slytherin House, knew what Vesperra's Boggart was, it wasn't unlikely that he was getting suspicious again.
"You've spoiled me, you know," said Severus, making to sit down on his couch and pulling Vesperra with him.
"With what?" she asked.
"With yourself," he said simply. "And enough that I know I will hate the next three days, because I won't be able to talk to you then."
She frowned. "Why not?"
Sighing, Severus said, "The next full moon is in exactly eight days. I have to spend three days on the Wolfsbane Potion for Lupin. It's too time-consuming to allow me a chance to speak to you."
"Oh." Vesperra was already disappointed, as talking to Severus through the journals after dinner was what she looked forward to everyday. Sure, it would only be three days, and they would definitely have a lot to talk about the Thursday after the potion was finished, but she had been rather spoiled with Severus as well. "Well, at least we have today…. Wait—are you sure you don't need any assistance? Then we could—"
"I thought about that," said Severus, "and I would like help, but it's an extremely advanced potion. I can't risk a single thing going wrong… and that's not out of worry for Lupin, it's because we can't have him transforming while inside the castle and eating students. Trust me, you're the only person I would accept help from, and I don't doubt that you're skilled enough, but I can't have you help—not even with ingredients. You'd be up in the late hours of the night, anyway."
Truthfully, he didn't want to put the stress of such a difficult potion on her, despite the fact that she had proven in the past that she could handle much worse stress. And he'd prefer to do it alone. He expected her to argue, but she merely nodded.
"What do you want to do today, then?" sighed Vesperra.
"Anything you want."
Vesperra might have suggested they go to the clearing by the lake if it had been nicer outside, but it wasn't. Instead, the two of them spent the day talking, occasionally playing a round or two of Wizard's chess among other things. After lunch, Severus thought he'd let Vesperra read over some of the essays he'd already graded for a laugh, just so she could see how stupid some of the other students were.
"Merlin, I don't know how you deal with it, Severus…." said Vesperra after reading through a second year's essay. "I could never be a teacher."
Severus used to think that about himself as well. If it weren't for the deal he made with Dumbledore, he wouldn't have ever become a teacher in the first place. Once again, he was suddenly struggling with the decision of whether or not to tell Vesperra the entire story that led up to him becoming the Potions Master, which would include everything about Lily and his Death Eater days. And once again, he quickly decided that now was not a good time, despite the fact that he had an entire day with her. He just couldn't bring himself to do it, not when the situation would be, "Alright, so there's my painful past that I've never told anyone else but Dumbledore in my entire life. You can spend the next three days that you don't get to talk to me to brood on that alone."
"It is difficult to tolerate," he replied a few seconds later, taking the essay back from her and seeing which one it was. "But it's the same way you deal with Malfoy and the others… self-control. Although, I don't think I've ever cursed or thrown a knife at any of my students—apart from my fantasies in between classes."
Vesperra froze for the briefest of moments, thinking for that moment that Severus somehow knew about the curse she had used on Malfoy in her first year as revenge, but then realized he was referring to the one she was choking him with on Valentine's Day in her second year.
"You said that I had better self-control than you," said Vesperra. "Back in my first year. I'm surprised you've never lost it with one of your students."
He couldn't help but smile slightly at the fact that she remembered that. But how could she have forgotten it, when that day had been the beginning of their friendship? "I was referring to when I was a child, though…. Hardly a day went by that I didn't try to curse Potter and Black for something they said or did to me. You're better than I was. You never go looking for fights, and you don't curse them until you absolutely can't handle it anymore…. I admire your strength."
Her heart skipped a beat and the edged of her lips twitched upward into a small smile. Vesperra almost couldn't believe he admired her in any way. He was much more of a person to admire.
"And now," Severus continued, noticing her smile, "it's completely different. I'm a teacher, so I simply have to deal with being surrounded by dunderheads all day. I can insult them without retaliation, as well as give them detentions, so I suppose that makes it much easier."
Vesperra snorted. "'Insult' is an understatement. You torture them. Especially Longbottom."
"I know…. But 'torture' makes me sound just as cruel as Malfoy is to you."
"No, it doesn't, Severus," said Vesperra, frowning. "You're justified. They're not. Even if you weren't… you have a perfectly good reason to be heartless. We both do."
"You're not heartless," said Severus. Vesperra raised her eyebrows. "…all the time."
"Well, I suppose you're not, either. But it's pretty fun to watch when you are."
"I'll do my best to be even more heartless in the future, then." Both of them smirked. "Just not towards you."
They had almost forgotten about the upcoming three days during the course of Sunday. Vesperra only returned to her dorm when it was past nine o'clock. She ignored the usual questioning from her fellow Slytherins as to where she'd been as she passed through the Common Room, and tried to focus on the day that she'd just had rather than the three days she would be unable to talk to Severus as she pulled on her nightclothes and went to sleep. Severus, feeling bitter that Vesperra had to leave, resigned to the fact that Sunday was over and decided to get a good night's sleep before the few days, when he knew he wouldn't get as much.
Directly after dinner on Monday, Severus got to work on the Wolfsbane Potion, almost angry with himself for not letting Vesperra help. But it had been for the best. The ingredients took a long time to prepare, as it had to be very precise. Around two o'clock in the morning, he was able to stop and let each of the ingredients simmer in separate cauldrons for several hours while he slept. He resumed work at certain intervals throughout the next couple days, taking time during lunch rather than going to the Great Hall, as well as during the hours he didn't have classes.
Severus definitely wasn't enjoying the schedule with which he had to work on the Wolfsbane Potion, but it was the most convenient one he had been able to come up with. He had to take a few doses of the Draught of Insomnia throughout those three days, and by the time the entire thing was finished on Wednesday night, he had gotten a total of seven or eight hours of sleep. The finished product was the color of dishwater and emitted a faint bluish smoke. Keen to make sure Lupin didn't take the potion too late, he promptly filled a goblet and left his office in the direction of Lupin's.
He rapped his knuckles on the Defense Against the Dark Arts office door, suddenly in a slightly worse mood.
"Come in," said Lupin. Severus pushed open the door with one hand, carrying the smoking goblet in the other. Lupin was sitting at his desk, and looked up at him, smiling. Briefly glancing around the room, he noticed several stark differences between the last two residents' offices.
It was more interesting than Quirrell's choice of decoration had been, and much less maddening than the plethora of self-portraits Lockhart had put up around the walls. Stacks of books, mostly about dangerous creatures, sat on tables around the edges of the room, and here and there were miniature models of some creatures and diagrams. Severus had to admit, he preferred it to way the last two Defense teachers had the office. But it was still very different than he would have had it if he had the job.
"Your Wolfsbane Potion," said Severus in a tone of forced politeness; though he was unable to keep the loathing out of his eyes. Lupin either wasn't perceptive enough to catch it, or didn't care, because he didn't seem put off at all.
"Ah—thank you very much, Severus," said Lupin, standing up from his desk at once and striding over to Severus to take the goblet from him. Up close, he could see that the man looked paler than he had been only days ago, and his eyes a bit sunken—but they were lit up in gratitude all the same. "This will help with the other symptoms as well, correct?"
"Yes," Severus replied. He knew that Lupin meant the gradually increasing feeling of sickness that werewolves like him felt in the week leading up to each full moon. "It's more effective the more often you take it, but only once a day. Any more often and you might as well have not taken any."
"I'll remember that, Severus." Lupin looked curiously down into the goblet, then took a sip, frowning slightly.
"Tastes awful, doesn't it?" asked Severus, his eyes flashing. As immature as it may have been, he was glad that, at least, the potion would cause some discomfort to Lupin that wasn't at anyone else's expense.
"Yes, it does. Well, good evening, Severus, and thank you again."
"Make sure to drink that all within a few minutes. There's more, since you'll likely need some. And I'm not going to deliver it to you each time, so I trust you're not too weak to make the trip down to the dungeons."
"Of course, Severus."
Lupin took a gulp of the potion and turned to resume whatever he was working on at his desk. At the same time, Severus turned his back on him and swept himself out of the office, glad that he could finally get some sleep.
I was glad I finally got to write the Shrinking Solution scene from Severus's perspective... That scene always has me cracking up when I read it. And after writing this chapter, I realized that this is basically the 'Everything that Happens in September' chapter. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it, and I'll try to update again within the week!
Don't forget to review! Please... it would make my day!