The Crucible
Lisa Turpin woke with a start, her heart pounding loud in her ears. With unseeing eyes, she stared into the all-engulfing darkness and fought with the scream that lay dormant in her throat. Her hands were still raised to ward off the attackers that hadn't been real, after all.
The problem was only that they had been real not so long ago, that they weren't just fictional monsters that her mind had conjured up to haunt her.
It was just a nightmare, Lisa tried to tell herself – an especially cruel one, so much was true; she could still feel the aftereffects in her body: the racing heart, the sweaty palms, the rapid breathing. Jerkily, she ripped the curtains open, searching desperately for a ray of light that would confirm she was really at Hogwarts. But the relief she felt when he saw the shapeless shadows of the three four-poster beds was short-lived. She knew this place was the reason for her nightmare. A school for witches. She still didn't know how to feel about that. Everyone here seemed to fit in so perfectly; they were so comfortable with their magic, but she… wasn't.
Classes would start tomorrow, and Lisa was scared. She was afraid of using magic, of being unable to control it. She had debated for a long time if she should even go to that school because that meant acknowledging that part of her that she hated the most. No, hate wasn't the right word – she was ashamed of it. It was like a stigma, a black spot that tainted her, and she was afraid the Muggles could see it.
That was finally the reason she decided to go. She was not accepted in Muggle society, couldn't hide that she was different. Maybe here, in a castle full of people like her, she would find friends. Maybe she wouldn't feel tainted and dirty anymore, wouldn't feel like an outsider, an outcast, whenever her magic acted up.
With a sigh, Lisa untangled herself from the sheets and nearly fell to the floor trying to stand up, disoriented and out of balance. She still felt her body aching from blows that hadn't actually hit her, her breathing was still ragged and panicked, her pyjamas clinging uncomfortably to her sweat soaked body. Careful not to wake anyone, she stumbled over to the bathroom.
The bathroom was gloomy; only one tall window illuminated the white and slate-coloured tiles, which formed a chequered pattern over the floor and the walls. Lisa, however, didn't notice any of this. She just floundered to the sink and splashed cold water into her face.
It didn't help.
Hot tears of panic and despair welled up in her eyes, sobs choking her. Unable to stop crying, she crumbled to the floor and hid her face in her hands.
"Lisa?" a small voice asked suddenly and her head snapped up towards it. Padma Patil stood in the doorway, her face half hidden in shadows.
"I'm fine," Lisa choked out, quickly wiping away her tears. But her efforts were futile. New tears spilled over as soon as she'd removed the old ones.
"What's wrong?" the other Ravenclaw asked gently, sitting down beside her.
"N-nothing," Lisa lied.
They were silent for a few moments. Then, Padma whispered, "Did you have a nightmare?" Before she could react, the other girl had pulled her into a warm embrace. And as if a dam inside her broke at the touch, Lisa started to cry in earnest.
Padma said nothing, just rubbed the other girl's back soothingly. Finally, when Lisa's sobs had subsided into quiet sniffles, she asked, "What was it about?"
"I…" Lisa faltered. She didn't know if she could tell the other girl about it, but something about the intimacy of the moment and the promise of friendship in her touch compelled her to tell the truth.
"My parents are Muggles, you know," she began. "We live in a small town in Ireland…
"I was seven when I found out that I was a witch. Maybe, things would've been different if my stister had stayed out of my room. It was so stupid, really. Anyway, Misty Day was my first friend, my playground friend, and we also went to primary school together. She always wore her blonde hair in pigtails at the side of her head, and she loved glitter. One afternoon, she was over at my place. We went to my room because I wanted to show her the new dress my parents had bought for me, only to find out that my little sister – Melanie – had stolen it. She always borrowed my stuff, and I had told her a thousand times to stay out of my room.
"Angrily, I stormed into Melanie's room, demanding back my dress. We got into a huge fight because she pretended that she hadn't taken it.
"'You always get new things,' Melanie had yelled.
"'That's not true! Give me my dress now, and, for the last time, stay out of my room!' I'd screamed back. I was so furious that she embarrassed me in front of Misty. So, without thinking, I went to her closet and began searching for the new dress.
"'No! Stop that!' Melanie had cried, pulling at my arm to force me away from the closet.
"But I had already found the blue dress, grabbed it, and ran back into my room. Melanie wasn't giving up, though. She followed me into my room. That's when things went really bad. I remember that I screamed at her again, "Stay out of my room!", and then, my magic reacted. It pushed Melanie out of my room against the wall of the hallway and banged the door shut."
Lisa's fingers started shaking and she clenched them into fists to not betray her reaction. She had to stay sober, neutral, detached. But there was a slight trembling in her voice when she continued, "Misty had seen everything. And before I could react, she'd stormed out of my house. I didn't think any of it. We were all in shock. My parents explained the whole incident away and I believed them. But… but the next day, when I went to the playground to meet Misty, and …"
Lisa swallowed hard, images flashing in front of her eyes. Padma seemed to realise her distress because she put a calming hand on her shoulder.
Finally, Lisa was able to continue, "She'd told the other kids about me, and Simon, whose father was a priest, told everyone I was a witch, possessed by a demon; that I was worshipping Satan, and they had to exorcise me. You wouldn't think people nowadays could still believe in that kind of bullshit, but Misty had seen what I could do. And, in their catholic mind, that was the only solution. Kids are cruel, you know…
"They had decided I was evil, and now they hunted me, hunted me over the playground, through the streets, into the forest. None of the adults stopped it; they thought we were playing a game. Branches caught in my dress and tore it. And what the woods didn't manage, they finished after they'd caught me." Lisa stopped abruptly, unable to form the words that would describe what the other children had done to her.
"My parents found me hours later, half-dead, bleeding and broken, with my dress torn – my new, beautiful, blue dress ruined, " Lisa whispered. "I was in the hospital for days."
Carefully, she glanced at Padma, but the face of the other girl gave nothing away.
"We moved away after that, but I never felt safe again, never felt normal, or accepted. Something was so wrong with me that everybody would be able to see it…" her voice broke, as shame washed through her.
"That's rubbish," Padma suddenly said. "Nothing's wrong with you, Lisa. You're a witch. That's perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of." She took her hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry for what your friends did to you, but they were wrong…"
"I'm tired," Lisa interrupted her abruptly, shaking Padma's hands off. "I'm going to bed."
Hastily, she struggled to her feet and practically ran out of the bathroom. She felt the other girl's eyes following her all the way to the door, knowing that this wasn't over. But she'd had to flee after baring her soul to the Ravenclaw. She felt too vulnerable to listen to Padma's well-meaning lies.
Of course, something was wrong with her!
In bed, pressing her eyes tightly shut, Lisa prayed she would survive the coming days.
Written for the QLFC, Season 6, Round Eleven.
Position: Chaser 3
Position Prompt: American Horror Story
Optional Prompts: (dialogue) "Stay out of my room!" (object) a torn dress, (emotion) shame
Title: The Crucible
Word Count: 1, 432
Beta(s): Lynne