Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. If I find out you are trying these stunts at home, I will come over there and kick your butt.
...
The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - The results of the poll for who people want to see win TDBG are going to be up on my profile. Most of the poll went up and down, everyone changed at one point or another. The only one to stay in place was Mr. First Place himself, Noah, who was first place in the first poll too. Our cynical, know-it-all bookworm is ever popular. Here are the top ten.
First Place - Noah.
Second Place - Clive.
Third Place - Ezekiel.
Fourth Place - Sakaki.
Fifth Place - Lindsay.
Sixth Place - Harold.
Seventh Place (three-way tie) - Belinda, Heather, Yoshi.
Tenth Place - Rodney.
The next poll is something rather important, since it might change my pace of writing: Would you like to see me rewrite Total Drama World Tour? I'm avoiding spoilers here, but I'm sure the vast majority of you know how unhappy I am with the third season. It had some great moments, but for the most part, I think a good rewrite would be nice.
Now, let's get some rocking and stomping going on!
...
Chapter 37 - Not Quite Monster Cash
...
...
...
Harold was having trouble sleeping the night of the MMORPG challenge. He had wanted to go back to the computers, but they had all been taken for more commercials. The nerd had considered sneaking into Leshawna's room, but he knew he'd be disturbing Lindsay and, worse, Mandy.
Vera had been left unsupervised, and the nerd had been taught a few instructions by Joel before the inventor's departure. He, along with Cody and Hannah, were the only contestants who could program functions into the VR machine.
Although tempting, Harold wasn't aiming for bringing himself into the virtual world. He was more interested in the opening theme, and a theme that had been going on in his head for some time.
Holding a graphic novel in his hand, Harold gleefully started up the movie simulation. "It's me versus the world," he said, grinning ear to ear.
...
(The opening theme music starts, but now there's neon lights shooting around the stadium. Harold stands on a podium with a guitar, and nearby him is blinking text saying, "Loading...")
* Dudes and dudettes, it's rocking time
(Sakaki, Mandy, Sierra, and Sadie are screaming fangirls in the front row of a small crowd. Jasmine's taking photos, and Young Rodney is clapping enthusiastically.)
* You shall feel our awesome prime!
(Tyler is at the other guitar, Leshawna on the drums in the back. Harold's about to play when he sees Gwen in the audience, her green hair shining in the light; he's transfixed by her as she clutches her satchel.)
* Now some say that we're a mite shady
(Zachary leaps onto the stage to attack Harold, and the nerd beats him, dissolving him into coins. Carol and Geoff jump up from the audience to grab some.)
* Well, you can go and tell that to the cleaning lady!
(Lindsay, a famous pop star, warps onto the stage. She shoves Harold to the side as she is flocked by her flashing back-up dancers Beth, Sandra, Valerie, Eva, and Bridgette. As they dance, Harold looks sadly on, but blue-haired Gwen catches his eye again.)
* I'm prob'ly gonna be... famous!
(Xander rushes Harold on a skateboard, but Harold defeats him too. Golden glow surrounds the nerd, and he poses for the level up.)
* I'm gonna purchase the best upgrades...
(Harold embraces pink-haired Gwen in a passionate kiss as the nerd's roommate Noah glances. Owen and DJ watch from the club's bar, drinking soda and toasting.)
* And then I'm gonna be saving the day!
(Brunette Gwen cheers on Harold as he dukes it out with Colin. Sebastian, Cody, and Izzy watch nearby, munching on popcorn and exclaiming with pop-up text, "Combo breaker," "Toasty," and "Final Smash!")
* Achievements to earn, records I'm gonna beat...
(Harold brandishes a Katana of Love as he faces off against a furious Courtney, while blonde Gwen has to deal with irate fangirl Heather flinging knives at her. Daisy claps as she watches from the fence, gleefully keeping score.)
* Winning the affection feat!
(Alfred, Clive, and Howard watch as Harold fights a robot at a party, while platinum-haired Gwen talks to Crystal and Noah. The goth girl adjusts the goggles on her head, which is curiously glowing. The party continues, despite a nerd having to pummel a mechanical fighting machine.)
* I'm most likely gonna be... famous!
(Harold lays the smack-down on both Justin and Alejandro at the same time. Courtney, bored and locked in a cage, shakes her head. Redheaded Gwen smiles sadly at Harold as she disappears before him.)
* Na-na ba-ba-bi-baaaa! Dah dah dah, come on rock on!
(Sights of a band named Ace Attorney at Rock are playing for the weird instrumental break. Trent and Hannah are guitarists, Joel is drums, Arthur is the screaming vocalist.)
* I just might be, quite possibly, don't you believe I could be famous?
(A huge crowd watches as Duncan and Harold duke it out, the punk using guilt and violent attacks against the nerd, struggling with his feelings. Ezekiel is busy updating their Wikipedia pages as the brawl continues and things are said.)
* There's probability, hypothetically, I'll pwn when I'm famous!
(Raven-haired Gwen and an exhausted Harold embrace and kiss once more, while Belinda, Katie, and Anita all get drinks at the bar, all celebrating the demise of the final, evil ex-boyfriend. The rockin' couple walk off into the distance, while Chris Maclean and Chef sit outside the club, holding signs saying, "Need coins, guild-less and hungry!")
* (*whistling follows up with Harold playing a final part with the guitar, grinning as a achievement frame flashes saying, "Achievement Earned - Create Theme For Thyself!") [1]
...
Harold watched the created theme, his grin even wider now. Wiping a tear of joy from his eye, he says one word: "Awesome!"
"But," he adds as an afterthought, scratching his head, "Gwen and I? Oh, Leshawna will kill me if she sees this!"
(Maclean Stadium, Cafeteria)
Things were tense among the contestants that morning. Only Harold was in a very chipper mood, air guitaring with his fork. As he hummed a song softly, he plopped down next to Bridgette, who was sitting alone.
The surfer girl was surprised, she had been busy being tense. She bit her bottom tip, and asked, "Harold? Look, I don't want to sound mean, but what are you doing?"
"Just enjoying this morning," he said, grinning. "Why shouldn't I be happy? I had a great challenge last night, slept well, I've got friends around here, my Chocolate Goddess is doing fine, and Duncan's not here."
Bridgette smiled a tiny bit. "Speaking of Leshawna, where is she? Shouldn't she be here instead of..."
She stopped herself, looking ashamed. Harold continued to beam at her, not offended as she thought he would be if he was thinking what she was thinking of saying but not saying (phew). "Would she be upset if she saw me sitting next to another lovely lady and not her? Nope, she asked me to save a place for her next to you, Bridge."
The slight blush on Bridgette's face was catching, and his smile widened a little. "You're flirty this morning," she said. "Boy, when you're in a good mood, watch out."
Harold clicked his tongue, grinning. "Don't worry about me, I love my Chocolate Goddess, and you're my friend."
"That's assuring. But tell me, why does Leshawna want to make sure she sits next to me?"
"She wanted to sleep in since Chris gave us time to do so today, but she wanted to make sure she wanted to talk to you. Wanted to make sure you weren't attached to Geoff's lips."
"That won't be a problem," Bridgette said with a heavy sigh. "Geoff's been avoiding me."
"I'm gonna have to find that party friend of mine and talk to him," the nerd said, glancing around the cafeteria. "No friend of mine neglects a fair lady like yourself."
"You sure do have a way with words."
"Comes from my heavy love of fantasy novels and poetry."
"Well, if you're so good with words, Sir Harold," she teased, "what words does Leshawna want to have with me?"
"Gwen," said Leshawna, standing behind them. "We have got to talk about Gwen!"
Leshawna pushed Harold to the side and sat down next to Bridgette (he didn't mind, his girlfriend had touched him in the process). "Gwen's been nothing but spitfire since the day she got here, worse since Trent got the boot. Do you know what happened?"
"No, I have no idea," Bridgette insisted. "She was snapping at Geoff some times, even me. I want to help, she's my friend too."
"You three are like a sisterhood," Harold spoke up.
"Harold baby, you really gotta remember that girl talk," Leshawna said, turning to her boyfriend, "is time when only girls talk."
"Can I listen?"
"You're not supposed to hear to girl talk either."
"Can I watch you two talk?"
Leshawna started to roll up her sleeves. He ran off, snickering happily. Bridgette giggled, to which she received an odd look from Leshawna. "Your boyfriend can be so cute sometimes."
"Yes, but sometimes I wonder where his head's at."
"He's a boy, we can take a few guesses."
(Janitor's Closet - First guess... New Orleans?)
Leshawna - "Harold's freaky at times, but never bad freaky. Still, freaky is hard to keep up with. Momma said dating a nerd could be difficult, but at least Harold can remember details like my birthday, favorite color, the stuff a good boyfriend should know. Still, something's missing..."
Harold - "Every relationship here has something that my luscious Leshawna and I do not have, sadly. I feel we're not intimate enough. I know people will think I'm just being a pervy teenage boy, but it's part of a relationship, right? And so far, it's only been light kisses. I want my Leshawna so much, but I still take it slow, for her sake."
Bridgette - "I've always liked Harold and Leshawna being a couple, they can be so sweet! It reminds me of what Geoff and I have... had. Oh why is he avoiding me? Between Geoff and Gwen, it seems all of my friends are keeping their distance! That's why I'm always around Harold and Leshawna, it's nice to be around a happy couple, if one can be on this show."
Anita was walking down between the tables, looking for Cody. She saw something else that caught her eye: Heather sitting alone. She walked over to her, and said, "Where's Ezekiel?"
"What's it to you?" the former queen bee grumbled.
"Look, I know you're upset with him," Anita said, "and I know it's partly my fault."
"What? I don't understand."
"News travels fast around here, and I heard right after I was done talking to Ezekiel, you were mad at him."
"Damn gossipers."
Anita, if she hadn't been trying to mend a bridge, would have pointed out that Heather used to be the queen of gossip spreading; however, the bombshell could remember her giving Ezekiel a kiss on the cheek last night, so she felt guilty. "Look, Heather, I just want to say, he's crazy about you."
"And what makes you want to say that?"
"Because he's the best thing that's happened to you, and if you're going to sulk and keep him away from you over something like this, you're out of your mind."
She walked off, leaving Heather stunned. The former queen bee was about to say something when she saw her boyfriend approach her.
"Hi," he said timidly, looking at her.
Heather smiled and pat the seat next to her. "Here. Ezekiel," she started to say, then sighed and finished with, "I'm sorry. I hate saying that, but I really am. I overreacted."
"It's okay, eh. I'll try to not be around the other girls so much-"
"No, don't take my angry words so seriously. I mean, of course I want to be with you most, but don't neglect friends either. Especially when they're rather clever."
Anita didn't overhear this, but she did hear Eva snapping at Cody. "Why don't you tell me who she is?" the fitness buff asked the tech geek. "C'mon, Cody! I'm not mad, but I'm gonna be if you won't just tell me!"
"I swear to you, I don't know any girl like that," Cody protested. "Why would I lie? Besides, why do you think I know her? She could know Courtney, or Crystal, or maybe even Colin... though I doubt he has friends."
"Darn right about that," Eva said, smiling for a second. "But seriously, who is she?"
"Who is who?" Anita asked, sitting down next to Cody's other side.
"There was this girl sneaking out of Cody's room last night after the challenge," Eva said, glaring at her rival.
"But Eva, I keep telling you, I don't know any girl like that! Not one with purple hair and tan skin-"
"Oh, that would be Sierra," Anita said. "She's an uber-fan of the show, and I think she got into the show somehow, but I don't know where. Her blogs are so awesome."
Eva raised an eyebrow. "Blogs? She does blogs on the show."
"Well, on everyone. I don't know how she gets some of her info, but she has all kinds of information on the contestants, and I loved reading them," Anita said. "Didn't you ever read them, Cody? There's a ton of info on you, she fancies you."
"No, I... still avoid the internet on the show," he admitted.
"But you should check her blogs," Crystal exclaimed, leaning over the other side of the table and startling the three. "Sierra and I would talk a lot on chats, and we both love fanon pairings! Who here loves Nizzy? Or LeDunca? Or Bridgold?"
Cody raised his hand. "I like Gwody!"
Eva elbowed him while Anita giggled.
(Janitor's Closet - Second guess... Cabot Cove, Maine?)
Cody - "Yeah, I still don't like being on the internet about this show. I thought the remarks about the bear and being rejected by Gwen were bad enough first season, but second season of 'crying like a baby' and being rejected by Beth, from the remarks I've seen..." *He sighs, then cheers up.* "But hey, what negative things can they say about a guy who has two fine ladies wanting to go out with him?"
Eva - "I don't like blogs. Bunch of meaningless talk about stuff not important. I've found the most useful talk to be in the gym, people say things more meaningful when bench pressing!"
Anita - "I'm glad Heather and Ezekiel made up. I hate to say it, but being friends with a guy has caused his relationship with his girlfriend to crash and burn before..." *She sighs in frustration and crosses her arms.* "I hate saying that. It makes me feel bad... and like a total tramp. I gotta stop thinking about times like that."
Crystal - "Sometimes fanon makes me a fangirl just like Sierra. A chirpy bird twittering... on Twitter! Well, actually, I never use that, posh and nonsense. I'm more of a notepad person myself. See?"
*She pulls a small notepad from her pocket and shows it to the camera. It is a bunch of well-drawn hearts, with the word "XANSTAL" in the biggest one. Crystal glances at it, then realizes what she just revealed.* "Oh bloody hell!"
Courtney picked at her breakfast. She missed Duncan, she missed hanging out with Bridgette. Something was gnawing at her, something she rarely felt but when she felt it, it was like a gopher on power steroids chewing up a defenseless golf course. Guilt was her worst enemy.
The CIT kept thinking back to last challenge, how she lost her temper so bad. She wanted to apologize to Rodney, wanting to let him know he had done a good job as leader. She even wanted to apologize to Alfred, who was looking less chipper than normal, and was only making small talk with Mandy.
She had her pride to think about, though. And while she thought about what was more important, pride or conscious, her idly swinging feet kicked someone passing under the table.
"Ow, dude," Geoff's pained cry came out from under the table. He scrambled out, much to Courtney's surprise.
"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
"Trying to avoid the others who might ask questions, Courtney dude."
"And you think I won't over you crawling under the table?"
"I... hope not?"
"Tell me!"
"No! And you cannot guilt me!"
A barking laugh from behind Courtney alerted their attention. Colin was standing there with a breakfast tray in his hand. "So, seems like you're creeping up Courtney, huh Geoff dude? Nice move, man, she's hot."
"Shut up," Courtney hissed as Geoff grinned sheepishly. "Why don't you get away from me, Colin?"
"What are you going to do, huh?" Colin mocked her as she faced away from him. "Your boyfriend isn't here, looks like he won't for a while. How's he gonna feel when he finds out when we're sleeping together?"
"I wish you'd stop telling that tasteless joke," she said, stabbing her eggs with her fork. "You're lucky Crystal and Cody and I even let you sleep in the room."
"You must feel so guilty about that, but I love being with you every night," he said, leaning in while she continued to look away. "I love girls riddled with guilt, makes them more frisky in-"
She backhanded him in the face, knocking him over and sending his breakfast spilling over him. Without looking, she added, "How can you even talk like that without feeling guilty, you horrible boy?"
(Janitor's Closet - Third guess... Oz?)
Colin - "Guilt is for losers!"
Geoff - *pulling his hat down* "Man, I cannot take this pressure! Pretty soon, Bridgette's going to be suspicious! Her friends might suspect too! Man, I don't..."
*There is a knocking at the door, and he freezes. Courtney is asking if anyone is in the closet, and he looks around in terror.*
Courtney - "I was certain I heard someone talking in here... but never mind! Look, yes, I am feeling a little... tiny... possibly guilty over the way I acted last challenge. I don't want to come out and apologize, I want to make sure they... well, Alfred, acknowledges his own faults too! I don't want people dumping everything on me at once!"
*Geoff loses his grip on the ceiling, and falls down on her, knocking them down. She screams out as he tries to get off her, demanding to know, "What were you even holding onto?"*
Noah sat alone. No one wanted to sit near him, most still mad or afraid from his outburst last night. The cynic was munching on cinnamon rolls when Rodney nervously approached.
"N-Noah," he stammered, fumbling with his tray. "Can... can I talk to you?"
"No," was the blunt reply.
"But I just wanted to-"
"No."
Rodney nodded sadly, and the bobbing helmet hit his glass of orange juice. The nutritious liquid spilt all over Noah's feet. The cynic looked down at this, then gave Rodney a very upset stare.
"Go now, unless you want to continue pouring your breakfast on my shoes," he said. "Would you like to smear cinnamon on my shirt? How about get eggs in my hair? You do love to rub it in, literally and figuratively, don't you kid?"
Rodney teared up and ran off. Chris Maclean almost tripped over the retreating kid, and then approached Noah. "Aw, did big bad Noah make little Noah cry again?"
The host laughed, loving to torment his least favorite contestant. His voice changed to baby talk as he rubbed Noah's head. "Now no wun wants to sit next to big bad Noahie! Poor widdle Noah's so mad and shad widout his widdle girlfriend! Is widdle Noah shad widout widdle, sweetie Katie-Watie to keep his big bad temper in check?"
"If widdle Chrissy-Wissy keeps on talking that way," Noah said, smiling mockingly back at Chris, "big bad Noahie is gonna kick in all his teeth, wight down his thwoat."
Chris blanched at this, thinking of his beautiful teeth, and beat a hasty retreat. As he did so, he passed by Sadie, and muttered, "Your BFFF's BF is a real S.O.B., Sadie!"
Zachary, sitting next to her, scratched his head. "S.O.B.A.D.?" he repeated the acronym he heard wrong. "What's that stand for?"
"I'm not sure, I'm not much of a texter," Sadie admitted. "Katie corrupted me into making sure I never use acronyms, since some people once told us the wrong definitions of some."
"Like what?"
"Did you know QQ doesn't stand for Quickly Quit? I was telling people in messages that I had to QQ because of family."
Zachary chuckled, then noticed Justin skulking nearby. "Something wrong, big guy?"
"I cannot find Beth," the model grumbled. "Not that you care."
He walked by, and Zachary scoffed. "Rude test tube dude."
"Nice rhyme," Sadie said with a giggle.
(Janitor's Closet - Fourth guess... Albuquerque?)
Noah - "I'm tired of people always being on my back about these things. My siblings never stopped teasing me about my 'boyfriend' Cody; they would never acknowledge Katie in a positive manner. Not to mention these people here act like a lynch party when someone they like is mistreated, and a bodyguard service for those they want to keep."
*He scoffs, looking more upset by the minute.* "The gloves came off when they decided Katie wasn't 'special' enough, and the host had to shove her off before I could hear her say... no, never mind. I don't care anymore, I really don't." *He shoves his hand in front of the camera.*
Rodney - *He corrects the camera angle, and sighs as he mumbles out what he wants to say.* "All I want to do is give my condolences to Noah, and tell him I didn't vote for Katie. My sister Zoey was right, teenagers are so angstful!" *He sobs.* "I wish I knew what that meant!"
Justin - "Noah's incredibly cranky, making fun of my face wrap and cucumber eyelids. But I gotta admit, he's kind of witty when he's agitated. 'Do you have onions to go with your eyes? What giant bug hit your windshield of a face? Don't enter politics, your face is a smear tactic.' Heh, clever nerd."
Sadie - "I miss Katie so, so, so much! But at least I have someone to keep me company during these trying times! Zachary's a lot of fun to talk to, I think Katie's wrong about him."
Zachary - "Boy, Sadie's dumb as a brick. Getting her into this alliance will be so easy. And when we're done, she'll be QQing!"
(Maclean Stadium, Arena)
The stadium was full of cheering, screaming fans, including one very enthusiastic Chinese girl who fainted upon seeing one of the contestants. While the contestants, for the most part, seemed to be content. They knew this would be a virtual reality battle, and since those involved no pain, nausea, and the good kind of interesting excitement, there was little to complain about.
Some were still upset. Noah was sulking, walking alone. Gwen was in her usual, frustrated attitude. Rodney was sad, Clive was his usual, and Ezekiel was worried.
"Where's Izzy?" the prairie boy asked, looking around. "I haven't seen her all morning, eh!"
Heather shrugged. "It means less chaos and less chance of destruction."
"I haven't seen a glance of red hair all day," Valerie said, "and that suits me just fine."
"Me too," DJ said.
"Jerks," Mandy grumbled. "I happen to like Izzy. Cthulhu will devour your rude souls."
"Oh?" Justin spoke up. "And what's he going to do for you?"
"He'll consume me last."
Ezekiel sighed. "I just want to make sure she's okay. That she's not hurt somewhere."
"What do you care?" Zachary remarked, raising an eyebrow at him. "Didn't she scare the crap out of you last season? You couldn't stand her."
"Things change, jerk," Heather snapped at Zachary. "So just mind your own-"
"Racist girl. You're just saying that because I'm not white."
"I'm asian!"
"Same thing."
Ezekiel had to wrap his arms around Heather's waist, to keep her from attacking Zachary. As the whiner laughed and walked away, the former queen bee panted in frustration. "Man," she complained, "I guess I can't take my own medicine of harsh words."
"Well, there is a good part to this, eh," Ezekiel said, smiling as his arms squeezed her, "yoo'r back in my arms a'geen."
Heather blushed. "You are the death of my former image."
"And I'm darn proo'd of it, eh."
Chris Maclean cleared his throat. "Okay kids, time to get serious."
"Okay then," Noah called out. "Guess that means you should leave, Chris."
"Hey," the host exclaimed. "Noah, that's not very nice."
"Just like your face!"
"I'm warning you, you're treading on thin ice!"
"That's cold, just like your heart."
"What's your deal, you sarcastic twerp? Are you trying to get thrown off the show?"
"The sarcasm is cranked into high gear," Noah exclaimed, pointing his finger accusingly at the host, "and now the child's gloves come off. I'd slap you across the face with one of them if I had them, and methinks it'd improve your looks."
"You know, Noah, you just might be next when your team in this challenge gets a disadvantage."
"There's no bigger disadvantage than your face could ever be."
Chris Maclean's eye was twitching, and said, "Okay, it's time for the challenge, and I'm gonna make sure that my biggest problem is taken care of!"
"You're gonna get a new face?"
"GAAAAAAAH! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!"
Noah put up an expression of mock concern, and said, "Such a mature comeback. You're a man of wisdom and intellect."
(Janitor's Closet - Fifth guess... Newfoundland?)
Chris Maclean - *His eye is twitching in frustration.* "I hate that kid! Why couldn't we have left out some of the old contestants? Like Noah! And... and well just Noah. Oh, and Ezekiel. And Gwen. Come to think of it, everyone except a few of them. Or just me. That's fair."
Chef Hatchet - "I'm sure Pretty Boy is wondering why Noah is so tough on him. Truth be told, I'm a little tired of Chris bending the rules to get people he doesn't like voted off, and costing me the bets. So to aggravate him, I told Noah he gets first dibs at the desserts ordered tonight if he makes it hard on Chris. Also, a few other... um, volunteers decided to... volunteer."
Groucho the Duck - *holding an RPG-7 missile launcher* "Operation Annoy Chris is in motion. Where's his dressing room?"
Chico the Raccoon - *standing on a full trash bag* "im in ur TV show, messing up yur pryvate quarters!"
Billy the Intern - *using up a bottle of hair gel* "I may get fired for this, but I'm sure Emily could get me a job at the airlines, should things go sour here."
Chris took a moment to collect himself, annoying the taunting laughs of the teenagers, and then cleared his throat. "Okay, you punch of bunks. I mean, tang deenagers! No, just, you people!"
" 'You people'?" Zachary asked, frowning.
"Don't start! Now look, I'm here to host a show, and damn it, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna host the hell out of this show!"
"A little rearranging of those words," Noah said, "would work out so well."
"Why won't you kids shut up?" Chris hollered. "You're all as bad as Ezekiel."
The prairie boy refused to dignify this with an answer, and that suited the host just fine. "Now then," Chris exclaimed, "I'm gonna host like none other! I'll be all over host like butter on toast! I'm gonna-"
"Are you losing it, Chip?" Lindsay asked, looking concerned. "I've heard of celebrities having nervous breakdowns, I'm just worried about you."
Chris fell down to the floor, sobbing hysterically. Lindsay walked over, knelt down, and pat his shoulder. "There there," she said. "You'll be just fine after a good cry."
"On international television," Noah added.
This just made Chris cry harder. While most enjoyed Chris being frustrated to tears, there were a couple getting annoyed. "Could you stop bullying him?" Valerie exclaimed. "This is just going to make things more difficult for us!"
"Must we all try to make each other miserable?" Clive complained. "Can't we just let those sad be sad and those happy be happy?"
"We're never going to get to the challenge at this rate," Eva barked. "What are we facing? So far, everything has been an awesome competition! I want to know more!"
Chris Maclean tried to compose himself, wiping his tears away with a pink handkerchief Valerie had handed him. "If... I... may...," he whimpered each word before he took a deep breath, his nerves being soothed by Lindsay rubbing his back.
"There there, we don't want our host having a nervous breakdown," Lindsay said in her most comforting voice. "We'd have to get a new host."
"I'd pick Drew Carey," Harold suggested, grinning at the thought.
Finally able to fully gather his wits, Chris put on his best host smile, and placed his hands on his hips. "Okay, boys and girls and those not clearly defined, like Noah! We've got a challenge for you little monsters: big monsters!"
The crowd cheered and sounded like a wild mob for a few seconds. Chants of "Godzilla," "King Kong," and "Cloverfield" could be heard around the stadium. Mandy was the loudest of all the people there, roaring, "Cthulhu! Cthulhu! Cthulhu!"
"No, not Cthulhu," Chris said, "sorry my dear Mandy, but Old Gods aren't big monsters. They're the end of the world, while a big monster just destroys one city, like New York City."
"And I'd encourage that," Arthur exclaimed.
"That's mean," Sakaki squeaked.
"That's fun," Carol cheered. "I love those movies, they're like a wild video game!"
(Janitor's Closet - Sixth guess... New York City, pre or post-ruination?)
Tyler - "I love movies of giant monsters, even the really bad ones that no one has heard of! It may make me sound like a nerd, but I especially love Japanese monsters... Gamera!"
*Superimposed over the screen as he speaks saying "WHO?"* "There's also Gorgo ("WHO?"), Rodan ("WHO?"), and Reptar ("WHO?")! I always wondered what I would do if the city was under attack by a giant monster! Now it's time to find out!"
DJ - "I don't like the idea of making animals big and having them destroy cities. It just makes people fear animals more! Why can't we all be friends?"
Mandy - "True, the Old Gods aren't monsters, they're Old Gods. But hey, I'm sure a giant reptile or a monkey would run in terror from Nyarlathotep ("WHO?") or Ithaqua ("WHO?")."
Lindsay - "I once saw a movie about a giant woman. Rizzy ("WHO?"), or... Izzy, yeah, that's her name ("Oh."), she somehow got the part! I wonder how Izzy got the movie contracts after TDC, I thought I was a shoo-in for a lead role in movies! I could star next to Fredzilla!" [2]
Yoshi - *scratching at the makeshift bandana he has over his ruined hair* "I hate giant monster movies. They always portray Tokyo as fragile as an origami project, our armies useless, and our civilians as screaming ninnies."
"Now the rules for this one are a little complex, so listen up," Chris said, motioning to Vera as he talked. "You are being divided in half again, and each team will be split up around the city in your virtual world. It will be a collection of teams of three, and one team of two. You get to decide the teams inside the teams, so decide well.
"Once you get in that virtual city, you have three choices on what to do: escape, drive the monster out of the city, or kill it."
" 'Kill it'?" Tyler repeated. "How are we supposed to destroy a city-demolishing monster? We're just common civilians!"
"I agree," Xander said. "Common civilians cannot kill Godzilla."
"If you find a way, take it," Chris said. "As I said, you have one of those three options. Now, if you manage to escape the city, you have officially survived the scenario, but you cannot go back to help people. If you're in the city, you must drive the monster out or kill it."
"Can't you just hide until the monster's rampage is over?" Beth asked.
"No, there's a fail safe for that. You see, we don't want people hiding in a corner or a closet or the subway until he just wanders off. The monster would have to be incredibly fast and too powerful if he had to destroy every nook and cranny in less than a day."
The contestants looked around, all wanting to ask a question that had an unpleasant feel. Gwen braved it. "So what is the fail safe?"
"You see, we have many different monsters for this scenario, all with their own powers and traits. But each one has the fail safe attached, which is, once every major building has been destroyed or received considerable damage, the monster will incinerate the remains of the city."
Most swallowed nervously at the thought of a city engulfed in flames. Chris reveled in their horror. "Yes, every single corner, closet, nook, cranny, and fire place will be filled to the brim with flames from the giant monster's mouth. No one will survive that."
"So to recap," Courtney said, "we escape the city, or stay and fight the monster. How do we do that?"
"Not telling about how you'll combat them, every scenario is different. But for this giant monster challenge, every city is large and surrounded by water. Three major bridges will be your way out, as the boats will not be an option. The team with the most contestants alive at the end wins!"
Many of the contestants were excited now, and pumped their fists. Leshawna cracked her knuckles, and said, "So what are the teams?"
"This time, I created teams that were completely random and not based on any cheap trick like Noah always insists," Chris said, shooting a glare at the smirking cynic. "The teams are...
"Team Panicky Mob. It consists of, in alphabetical order: Anita, Belinda, Bridgette, Cody, Courtney, Crystal, Eva, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Justin, Leshawna, Noah, Sadie, Sakaki, Xander, and Zachary."
"And the other team is Team Hysteric Crowd. That consists of: Alfred, Arthur, Beth, Carol, Clive, Colin, DJ, Ezekiel, Geoff, Gwen, Lindsay, Mandy, Rodney, Sebastian, Tyler, and Valerie."
As the teammates organized, Chris was watching them, looking confused. "Now I'm very confused," the host said.
"On how you ever became famous?" Noah called out.
"Shut up, little man! No, my confusion is based off someone who should be hopping up and down for this contest. Where's Izzy?"
"We don't know," Alfred admitted, looking around. "Some of us are worried."
"Yeah, even if she isn't on our team," Mandy said.
"Well then, I have the great pleasure," Chris said, grinning, "of saying that since she has not shown up for an official challenge, that Izzy has been eliminated from Total Drama Battlegrounds."
"What? No," Ezekiel shouted. "That's not fair, eh!"
Chris rolled his eyes. "Shut up."
"You're a creep," added Heather.
"E tu, Heather?"
(Janitor's Closet - Seventh guess... Rome?)
Heather - "Ezekiel's parents once told me that power corrupts, which made me think of the days when I was a queen bee in high school; I couldn't go back to that life even if I tried. Chris is a whole new ball game, and how ironic I say that, because with a stadium named after Maclean, his ego is big enough to fill every seat."
...
Sakaki and Sebastian - Sakaki - "You and Noah seemed to really get the idea for the teams, Sebastian. Can you tell me? I think I know, but I want a hint."
Sebastian - "Panicky Mob consists of a normal group of our contests, or as normal as we teenagers could be."
Sakaki - *She giggles.* "Oh, I see! Everyone in Panicky Mob has normal hair!"
Sebastian - "Exactly. In Hysteric Crowd, we have a plethora of people with headgear and wild hair. Alfred, DJ, Ezekiel, Geoff, and Rodney all wear hats..."
Sakaki - "Carol, Clive, Lindsay, Tyler, Valerie, and Yoshi all wear headbands or bandanas..."
Sebastian - "Arthur, Beth, Colin, and myself have interesting hair, with pointy styles and side ponytails and spikes and dreadlocks..."
Sakaki and Sebastian - *in unison* "And Gwen and Mandy have dyed hair!"
*They both laugh, and Sebastian pats her shoulder.*
Sebastian - "You sure can be cute when you're clever, Sakaki."
Sakaki - "C-c-cute?" *She swoons and faints, resulting in Sebastian having to catch her.*
Chris chuckled as Izzy's friends continued to protest her elimination, then he pointed at Noah. "Blame him, he's on the team that Izzy was going to be on, thus leaving you guys with a real problem."
"Yeah, they're all still stuck on the same show as you," Noah called out.
As the host sighed in frustration, he gestured towards Vera. "Will you all just get ready for the challenge? I want to see monsters stomp on you all."
"Don't we have to decide teams?" asked Courtney.
"Fine, fine, do that. Then get going on the teams-"
"WAIT!"
Izzy came barreling out of the corridor into the arena, waving her arms. She stopped, completely winded, almost falling over if Mandy hadn't caught her. "What... what team am I on?" the redhead asked.
"You're out of the contest."
"Aw c'mon, don't do that! I was just a little late, is all!"
Chris would've stood his ground normally, but his will had been broken once today, and his will wouldn't want a second wrecking. "Just go then," the host wailed with held-back sobs. "I cannot believe how infuriating this can be!"
"Oh no?" Noah commented. "You've never looked in a mirror?"
Chris' wail echoed around the stadium as Noah chalked up another point on his invisible score board.
(Panicky Mob)
"What's the matter with him?" Izzy asked, glancing at the sobbing host. "Hair gel crisis?"
"If only I had known it was that easy to annoy Chris," Courtney mused. "Would've made it more tolerable for the past couple seasons."
"He'd start eliminating people left and right when he was too annoying," Belinda said. "He just doesn't want to do that now because the longer this show is drawn out, the more he gets paid."
"You don't have to be clairvoyant to guess that," Heather said, shrugging. "So, what teams are we going to be making? Who gets to make the call?"
Izzy started leaping up and down, waving her arm. "Ooo! Ooo ooo ooo! Me me me!"
Most tried to ignore her, the fearful idea of Izzy leading daunting on them. They started looking among the others, asking around. "Noah?" Sadie asked.
"I'm not leading, I don't like anyone right now."
"ME! Meeeeeeee! Oh ho, meeee!"
"Belinda?"
"I don't particularly want to lead."
"Me! I dare you to pick me!"
"Courtney?"
"I've taken enough heat for that job, I want to sit back a little."
"Okay okay, I triple dog dare you to pick me!"
"Anita?"
"Why not Izzy?"
Again, everyone looked horrified at the thought of Izzy leading, but the bombshell was smiling as she pat the redhead's shoulder. "Izzy was Nancy Archer in 'Attack of the 50 Foot Woman'! And I'm sure she knows a lot about giant monsters."
"I dated one too," Izzy added, beaming at Anita. Then she looked down at the bombshell's breasts, and whistled. "Wow, those are real!"
Izzy squeezed one of Anita's breasts, and the bombshell yelped. "Don't do that!"
"Sorry, I couldn't resist. Just like this challenge, big things are really fun!"
"Indeed," Zachary said.
"Rather," Xander noted.
"Bazinga," Cody concluded.
Anita was blushing bright red and covering her chest with her arms as Izzy nodded enthusiastically. "Yes yes! Now let's talk about teams for the challenge! Anyone have any questions before we begin?"
"Yes," Justin said, raising his hand. "How on Earth did you get into making movies?"
Izzy bounced on her feet. "I have acting talent! You're just jealous!"
"You're darn right I am! If anyone was to be making movies after TDC, it should have been me!"
"Personally, I find the idea of either of you being in movies to be nauseating," Noah said, shrugging. "Just get the teams started."
Izzy poked Noah's chest. "Stop it, rude cynic. Now, I'm gonna team you all up as romantically as possible."
"... What?"
"Love fells the beast, not guns," Izzy exclaimed, twirling around. "So I'm gonna pair you people up with love, romance, and lustful crushes with thrusting loins of passion!"
"Ooo la la," Bridgette said, smirking at her friend. "So, what will the teams be?"
"I nominate the first team to be our lovely love triangle: Anita, Eva, and Cody! Try to get along!
"Then we'll have Harold and Leshawna together, accompanied by your good friend Bridgette!
"Third group will be hopeful couple Zachary and Sadie, and our matchmaker Crystal!
"Our next thing is our lovely Heather, our not-so-lovely Justin ("Hey!"), and Xander!
"Izzy will be in the next group, with Courtney and Sakaki. And the final group will be Belinda and Noah! Sorry, Belinda."
Noah scoffed. "What-ever."
Izzy clapped. "Now that love is in the air, the beast will be slain."
Chris popped in and scoffed. "The amount of love you people infuse into the competition is so lame! You're here to compete, not love!"
The other team overheard this too, and scowled. Izzy shoved the host away, shouting, "I know kung fu from one of my movies, don't piss me off!"
(Janitor's Closet - Eighth guess... South Korea?)
Beth - "Chris' anti-love attitude is so wrong! I met the most handsome boyfriend ever because of this show, and it inspires me to keep driving forward in this contest! I'll be knocking down this monster if I have to!"
Ezekiel - "I was never in it to win it, or so the saying goes, eh. If I get voted off at any time, that's fine with me, I joo'st doo'nt want Heather to get hurt!"
Arthur - "I know I'm not going to get a girlfriend or some love in this contest, it's just competition for me. Some people just take things a little too personal, but hey, I'm not for stomping on love to win."
Carol - "Chris doesn't think love is good for this show? Fat chance! Do you know how much fanfiction about couples circulates on this show? Heck, I wrote one on Duncan and Courtney, and I got about a hundred reviews! And I didn't even have a plot!"
*She grins, then sighs and grumbles.* "I want a boyfriend! I don't want a pony, I want a stallion! That's how the saying goes, right?"
(Hysteric Crowd)
"I WANT A BOYFRIEND!"
"Carol, stop wailing," Valerie snapped, "we aren't doing this based on love like Izzy is."
"What's wrong with that?" DJ asked.
"You honestly want to follow the plan of that psycho hose-beast?"
"Not really," he replied, shrinking in fear.
Tyler looked around, confused. "Wait, who's leading our group? I don't remember appointing a leader, since Courtney and Heather aren't squawking for the position."
"Well, I do nominate myself," Valerie said, "but I don't know too much about giant monster movies. Does anyone here?" Alfred raised his hand, and she scoffed. "Except for the bad influence." Mandy raised her hand. "And not the second psycho host-beast."
Both of those rejected blew loud raspberries at Valerie, laughed and high-fived. Mandy, in her friskiness, slapped Alfred on the butt. He cried out in surprise, and then grinned. Valerie rolled her eyes, then was cut off when Arthur stepped in.
"Look, Lady In Pink, I think we're all a little tired of demanding leaders who lead things they know nothing about," he said. "So if you don't mind, I'll take full responsibility as leader this time around."
"You?" Valerie balked. "The loner? Why?"
"I happen to know a lot about giant monster movies and stuff, and since no one here is stepping up, I'll do it."
"I like that," Lindsay said, clapping her hands. "You can lead, Anthony! It'll be good for you, it'll really impress Sarah!"
"Who?" Arthur asked, then groaned. "Oh, you mean Sadie? Look, I know she's your good friend, but trust me, she's interested in Zachary."
Valerie shrugged. "Whatever, on all counts. Arthur, pick the teams."
Arthur looked around at the others, all eyes on him. "Okay then. First team, keep Mandy and Alfred together. Sebastian, make sure they don't do anything too wild.
"Geoff, you seem to get along with Colin. Go with...," he paused when he saw Valerie inching towards them. Confused but seeing the interest, he sighed and concluded, "Go with Valerie.
"Beth and Carol and Lindsay, together for girl power. Tyler and Rodney and DJ, together for boy power.
"I'll take Yoshi and Clive with me. Thus, we have Ezekiel and Gwen together. I assume everything is okay?"
There was silence. "None? Good! Now, let's kick an oversized ass!"
The contestants all sat down in their chairs of the large virtual reality machine. As the machine hummed as it powered up, Chris Maclean cackled and exclaimed, "Well, all of you are going to be stomped on nice and good! I cannot wait to see all of you as pancakes."
"Just as doughy as you," Noah exclaimed before he relaxed in his seat.
Chris squeaked in horror and looked down at his body, trying to see if he was gaining weight. When he didn't see any, he snarled at Noah's unconscious form, all hooked up inside the virtual world. "I'm gonna get that boy one day, I swear!"
(The Hysteric Crowd)
Everyone was teleported into the game, at random parts in a large city. They looked around, but could see no danger nearby. If the monster was attacking, none of them could hear or see anything. Civilians walked around on the streets, cars drove down the streets, and ice cream trucks handed out ice cream from the trucks.
HC Team 1 was on some random street, being passed by by passerbys. Alfred watched them go, licking an ice cream pop casually. He offered it to Mandy, who looked disgusted, until Alfred pointed out germs don't exist in virtual reality worlds. As Mandy accepted the ice cream and licked it up, Sebastian chuckled.
HC Team 2 found themselves inside a busy newspaper building, people shouting about all kinds of things that were considered news, but wouldn't be important once a monster stomped through the city. Valerie had to tear herself away from the celebrity gossip writer, Colin was knocking over things to be mean, and Geoff looked around confused.
HC Team 3 looked around the park, looking at the squirrels and birds and muggers. Beth was hiding behind Lindsay as Carol kicked the crap out of them (the muggers, not the squirrels and birds).
HC Team 4 was at the police station, being held in detention centers. Tyler hollered his innocence, Rodney sadly banged his helmet against the bars, and DJ asked for a phone call, a lawyer, and his mother (not in that order). A police officer told them no one was to get out unless they made bail or a big disaster was to happen.
HC Team 5 was at a concert, doing stage hand work behind the stage. Arthur and Yoshi were looking around, trying to find where they were and what they could do. Clive had stopped to listen to the band perform, he loved alternative music.
HC Team 6 felt so awkward being alone with each other that they barely recognized they were in a lighthouse. Gwen and Ezekiel exchanged glances as they looked out at the ocean. He remembered how she didn't like him much for being Heather's boyfriend, and she remembered that all too well too.
The goth girl and the prairie boy were casually watching the water, until Ezekiel finally asked the question that had been on his mind for the past couple minutes. "Why are we looking 'oot at the ocean, eh Gwen?"
"Because that's where some of the most fearsome of B-movie monsters come from," she replied, "and thus, we need to watch to see where it's going to come from."
"I doo'nt recall King Kong coming from the ocean, eh."
"He's a classic, not a B-movie monster."
"Touché."
They continued to watch, until the water began to churn unnaturally far away from them near the dock. The water broke, and a giant head rose from underneath the water, destroying part of the harbor. The rest of it was smashed by the monster's giant bill. It pulled itself out from the water, stomping on shipping crates like if they were leaves for the crunching. Webbed feet stomped on a couple boats, crushing them into numerous pieces.
A single talon on the hindquarters dug into the harbor floor, poison ejected from the tip and dissolving the steel. The creature bat its beady eyes, grabbed a shipping crate from the dock, and chucked it at a building. It let a wet, gargling roar as the building toppled over the incredible damage and impact.
Gwen blinked her shadowed eyes. Ezekiel widened his eyes. Both couldn't believe what had just risen from the ocean, over fifty meters tall.
"A platypus," Gwen stated, watching the monster knocking down a giant building. "There is a giant platypus destroying the harbor."
"He's so...," Ezekiel stammered, watching the destruction, "so... so... cute!"
Gwen stared at him, then at the giant platypus, then back at Ezekiel. "We should really be running right now."
"I've never seen such adorable destruction!"
As the giant platypus tore into the city, all of the civilians could feel the vibrations of buildings coming crashing down and the wet, garbled roars. Most of Hysteric Crowd was trying to avoid being trampled by a hysteric crowd, Team 4 was desperate to get out of their cell. Sure enough, the police let them out, and a screaming DJ, Tyler, and Rodney fled to... whatever direction people were fleeing in.
Team 2 had gone up to the top of the newspaper building, and saw the giant platypus tearing away at buildings near the shoreline. Colin burst into laughter at the sight of it, Valerie cooed, Geoff leaned over the edge and gaped in awe.
"Wow, so that's what a monster looks like," he exclaimed. "A giant, duck-like monster with brown fur and a poisonous talon! That's awesome!"
The building shook when another building, even though far off, collapsed. Geoff almost fell off, but just barely kept his balance.
"Geoff, I know it's fascinating," Valerie called out, "but please don't stand on the side! You might-"
Colin shoved Geoff off when the building rocked again. The bully cackled as Geoff plummeted to his virtual death. "I got him again," Colin shouted, clapping. "That was so cool! Oh man, that was priceless!"
Valerie just stared in exasperation. "Why did you do that?"
"Because it was funny! Why else?"
"We're now down a man!"
"Oh who cares? Besides, I know I can rely on you to bail me out, since you'll want my vote."
Valerie grumbled, and looked away from him. "I always knew," she thought to herself, "I'd regret having this creep in my alliance."
(Janitor's Closet - Ninth guess... Tokyo?)
Valerie - "Zachary got Colin on our side a few challenges back. I hate it, but it's nice to have someone who will vote for you whenever you need it. He's like a vicious, poorly-trained attack dog, and I don't feel comfortable just because I'm holding the leash."
Gwen - "I've seen movies with giant turtles, dragons, worms, praying manti, and birds that can fire lasers. A platypus is the weirdest monster I've ever seen. Ever. E-V-E-R. And yet... it's not the worst."
Clive - "The first time I saw that giant platypus, I was shocked, I had to say. Life may be very dreary, but I didn't think it would be that... goofy." *He smiles for a second, then brushes it off.*
Alfred - "Joel told me that this giant monster has over fifty types of animals and creatures, ranging from a dragon to a overly large badger. Hee hee! Badger badger badger."
(The Panicky Mob)
The other team had all ported into the game, and looked around. Like the other team, the monster was not attacking at the beginning, but the ice cream trucks were still handing out ice cream.
PM Team 1 was at a bus station, where sugar-loving Cody paid the ice cream truck for a ice cream pop. As he licked at it, Anita and Eva watched him. When he licked a smear of chocolate from his lips, Anita swooned. Eva was getting impatient, and started demanding for the monster to show up.
PM Team 2 was peering around the roof of a tall hotel. Bridgette looked out at the ocean, Leshawna across the city, and Harold tried to see the bridges. He couldn't see them, and then assured the ladies that he wouldn't let any harm come to them. Both smiled as they rolled their eyes.
PM Team 3 was getting bumped around in the subway. Zachary shouted at those pumping him, calling them racist. Sadie was trying to stay close to him, while Crystal tried to get directions to any of the bridges from the security there, but none of them had anything useful to say. ("Bloody NPCS," she cursed.)
PM Team 4 cursed their luck at being at the docks, because the idea of the monster rising from the ocean was the most likely scenario. Justin and Heather argued about which way to go, while Xander startled seagulls while we waited for them to stop fighting. ("Mine! Mine mine mine-aaaaah!")
PM Team 5 didn't even realize they were in the lobby of a hotel. Izzy was too busy exclaiming how excited she was, Courtney was trying to calm her down, and Sakaki was huddling up behind her shoulders and hands from the staring, virtual eyes. If someone were to say a monster was attacking the city, people around there would have guessed it was Izzy.
PM Team 6 was quiet was in café, both sitting at a table together. Belinda sipped a cup of tea, while Noah was reading the menu. The bookworm stared at it for a moment before he realized how silly it was to do that in a virtual reality world. He tossed the menu away.
"You always dine out like this, throwing stuff on the floor?" Belinda asked, raising an eyebrow.
"What-ever, it's a virtual reality world."
"Are you going to be like this for the rest of the game?"
"I never promised to be a nice boy, and when people decided to vote off Katie, who's never done anything, I now don't want to hold back."
"Even though the vast majority of people you're chewing out didn't vote for her?"
Noah was silent, then he slammed his forehead against the table. "Frooger nooger," he cursed. "I have overreacted, haven't I?"
"Quite possibly."
"Luckily, my dear," he said, muffled against the table, "I don't give a damn."
"And some of the people you're chewing out are Katie's friends."
Noah groaned, pounding his head against the table; however, the entire cafeteria right as he self-abused himself. Belinda sipped her tea, and said, "Your regret is rather overpowering."
Both felt the cafeteria shake violently, and then all hell broke loose in the street outside. A monstrous, worm-like creature burst from the road, throwing street all over the street. Many legs wriggled from its segmented body, and long mandibles were scissoring helpless civilians up like Nerds to a hungry kid on Halloween.
"Oh my, a giant centipede," Belinda commented, finishing her tea. Noah was hiding under the table. "My, that's one rather fearsome looking creature."
"Shouldn't we be fleeing for our lives and all that fun stuff?" Noah remarked from underneath the table. Terrified patrons ran out of the café, as if to illustrate the bookworm's point.
"That might not be the best of plans." The panicking civilians were gobbled up by the giant centipede. After a heavy bingeing, it crawled all the way out of the hole and down the street, many legs knocking over street lights and mailboxes and ice cream trucks.
Belinda wiped her lips with a napkin. Noah groaned as he banged his head against the center table leg. "Seems to be the day where I'm kicking myself many times."
"You're not thinking clearly, distracted by your girlfriend's departure, and lashing out. Must come from issues with your family."
"Your psycho analyzation is impressive, Miss Foresight."
"And I hope you haven't looked up my skirt while you were down there."
"What? ... Oh."
"Any sarcastic remarks about my panties before we begin our escape?"
"Nope. No no. I'm just gonna be quiet now, and hope you do not kill me."
As Belinda and Noah slipped out of the café and headed in the opposite direction the giant centipede was heading, Team 4 was watching. The centipede was tearing through the buildings, thrusting its head at windows and snatching people from them. After having a fill, it would use its slicing limbs or segmented body to crash into the building and knock it down.
"Woohoo, look at it go," Xander cheered. "Those badass creatures would make a good icon for a biker gang."
"People are dying over there," Justin balked.
"No, they're not, it's a virtual world."
Heather groaned, and glanced at the centipede. "Any ideas on how to kill that thing?"
"No," admitted Justin.
"Napalm, bazookas, pesticide spray, and maybe," Xander quipped, crossing his arms and grinning, "a really big meerkat."
"Will you stop daydreaming," Heather barked, "and start moving before we're all eaten?"
The centipede was long enough that it was passing by both Team 2 and Team 5 of Panicky Mob. Harold was intrigued, Izzy was thrilled, while their lady teammates were scared out of their mind.
"Giant bug," Leshawna screamed.
"Actually, centipedes are arthropods, in the class of chilopoda," Harold said, watching the giant arthropod move about with fascination. "What a bright shade of orange! Must be a very healthy specimen."
Bridgette shivered and gripped Leshawna. "Harold, it's not safe to be near the edge. Please come back here with us."
"Don't worry, my lady friends, I'm just studying our opponent," Harold said, continuing to stare at the specimen "You know, I think I know of a perfect way to destroy this being."
"You tripping, Harold?" Leshawna exclaimed. "How can you kill something that big?"
"If my calculations are correct, every creature has a weakness, something that could destroy them. And according to pop culture and nature's course of action, I know how to kill it."
Bridgette looked surprised, then delighted. "How?"
Harold opened his mouth, and then the building shook when a few of the centipede's legs crashed into the side. The nerd waved his arms, trying to balance himself. Bridgette and Leshawna screamed in terror and rushed to grab him, but he went over the side.
"You need to get him," Harold hollered as he plummeted to his virtual death, "to chew at..."
That was the last the two girls could hear, and both sobbed. "Oh, that brave, brave, foolish boy," Leshawna cried out. "Why? Why must they always stand closet to danger when they know something? Why can't they stay safely back and tell us?"
Izzy was one of those people who wanted to be near danger, and had her face pressed up against the front doors. The glass was fogged up by her excited panting. "Oh wow, it's so big and heavy and munching down people! This is one of the most awesome challenges ever!"
"Will you get back here?" Courtney hollered, grabbing Izzy around the waist and pulling back.
"No no no, I want to see this arthropod of the chilopoda class pop peeps like popcorn!"
Sakaki was huddling in a corner, whimpering. "Everybody's yelling and panicking and getting all hysteric! Please, we need to get out of here!"
Izzy was holding onto the door handle as Courtney pulled on her legs, which had Izzy parallel to the ground in her struggle. "Wanna see more violence," the redhead hollered. "And you'd better not be looking up my skirt, Courtney."
"Let go of the door, Izzy," the CIT struggled to say, and then screamed as hard as she was struggling, "RIGHT NOW!"
Many could verify the power of Courtney's voice when she was furious, and now she created the proof. The centipede halted its rampage, and looked at the large hotel's doors.
"Oh crap," Izzy cursed happily, "it's spotted us! Run!"
Izzy used her athletic, crazy girl legs to sprint away, grab Sakaki, and hurry towards the back of the hotel. Courtney wasn't so lucky, and the last thing she saw was a giant centipede come crashing in through the doors...
(Janitor's Closet - Last guess... the bottom of the ocean!)
Izzy - "And then that giant centipede just snatched Courtney right out of the hotel, while I carried away the moe girl on my genki shoulders!" *She laughs, snorts, and slaps her knee.* "I love these games! It makes me talk wildly, and say things I don't even get! It's like fluffernutter between the toes!"
Xander - *pondering, stroking his facial scar* "A badass animal is a great symbol for a biker guy, I've seen it often. Now I like the eagle emblem on my belt buckle, I'm proud of that, but I wonder what a badass meerkat would look like, chewing up a centipede. Hehe, now that would be cool."
Belinda - *She bats at her earring, rocking it back and forth like a metronome. The clairvoyant stares off into space until she looks at the camera, as if seeing it for the first time.*
"So many things you viewers must be seeing, all kinds of interesting conversations and interactions. I'm still lost in many mysteries myself, but I'll give you the answer to one that I'm sure is on some of your minds: my panties are white."
(Maclean Stadium, Arena)
Courtney gasped as her mind was released from the virtual reality system. She shook her head as she stood up, groaning. "I really wish I could have run, but my God, what a horrible thing to see... last thing to see too."
"The maxilla of an arthropod are almost as scary as their mandibles," Harold said, trying to comfort her in his own way. "Crippling fear would be understandable."
"You died too? Already?" Courtney exclaimed. "If anyone was going to take out that giant bug, I thought it would be you."
"Centipedes are not-"
"Oh, I don't care," Courtney shouted, walking away. She stopped when she saw Geoff. "Oh no, you too?"
"Yeah, dudette, fell off a roof," Geoff replied with a shrug. "Bummer, but it was a hard tremor."
"You fell too?" Harold exclaimed in surprise. "Gosh, how funny is that?"
"Not funny at all," Courtney said. "I'm leaving, I'm gonna go take a shower or something, I don't want to watch a lot more of that centipede. Or a... platypus?"
She walked out of the arena, muttering, "A platypus. Seriously."
When she got to the corridor, she saw a soot-covered Groucho the Duck running by with an empty RPG-7, and a messy Chico the Raccoon dragging an empty trash bag behind him. Both were laughing as they carried on their merry way.
The CIT shook her head as she walked to the shower room. "What's wrong with this place, it's practically a madhou-OW!-OW!-OW!"
Someone had grabbed her ear and pulled her back. When she saw who it was, she gasped. Her assailant snarled, "So I finally caught you!"
"Katie?"
"Yes, who else looks like me?" Katie asked, scowling angrily. She was breathing hard, slick with sweat, and even her pigtails drooped from exhaustion.
"What's wrong with you? Did you run a marathon?"
"Izzy got us lost a couple times, and we had to run to get here before being disqualified. Now tell me, where's Noah?"
"He's... he's in the virtual reality game! He's still in it!"
"And you got defeated?"
"Yes, it was a big, nasty centipede! Giant monster challenge."
"Oh wow, those are, like, really nasty things, you're right! Arthropods can be such ugly things, especially ones of the chilopoda class. Noah told me all about this project he had to do-"
"Will you let go of my ear, already?"
Katie remembered that she still did have a grip on the CIT's ear, and let go. "Yes, but you and I are going to have a talk."
"A talk? About what? Is this about your elimination?"
"Look, I know competition is competition, but your attitude towards me is unwarranted. I want to talk to you, since I got time to kill while I wait for Noah to finish that challenge!"
"Well, he might be eliminated at any time-"
"Don't count on it. My boyfriend knows all about arthropods!"
...
...
...
Which team is going to win: the Panicky Mob or the Hysteric Crowd? How will they deal with the giant centipede and the giant platypus?
What has Katie to say to Courtney? Will Geoff ever say what is bothering him to Bridgette? Will Noah ever mend those bridges he burnt?
And be honest, how many of you were curious about Belinda's panties' color? And maybe Izzy's (green)?
Also, as a bonus, Harold wears heart polka-dotted boxers ever since his traumatic experience in TDI.
Panicky Mob (vs. Giant Centipede):
Team 1 - Anita, Eva, Cody.
Team 2 - Harold (dead), Leshawna, Bridgette.
Team 3 - Zachary, Sadie, Crystal.
Team 4 - Heather, Justin, Xander.
Team 5 - Izzy, Courtney (dead), Sakaki.
Team 6 - Belinda, Noah.
...
Hysteric Crowd (vs. Giant Platypus):
Team 1 - Alfred, Mandy, Sebastian.
Team 2 - Valerie, Colin, Geoff (dead).
Team 3 - Beth, Carol, Lindsay.
Team 4 - Tyler, Rodney, DJ.
Team 5 - Arthur, Yoshi, Clive.
Team 6 - Gwen, Ezekiel.
Janitor Closet's Decorations to Date - Back wall has Harold's love haikus to Leshawna decorated around it. All the walls have been redone and painted over to look brand-new.
...
[1] - Harold's opening theme is based off the awesome Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. If you don't know about the comic book series or the movie, it's about a nerdy boy who meets a girl and has to fight her seven evil ex'es to go out with her. It's chock-full of video game references, cartoonish violence, and hilarity. If we didn't know Harold's last name was McGrady, I'd say it was Pilgrim.
[2] - I stole the idea that Izzy became a movie star during the break between the second and third season. Much more on that later, but if you didn't know, Izzy is the star of Attack of the 50-Foot Woman, King Kong, The Sound of Music, and Kill Bill. And possibly more, if any of you have any good ideas for what movie you think Izzy would be a great lead in. *wink, wink*
...
Next Up - Crashing Centipede, Plundering Platypus!