Thanks for reading. R.

James, Sirius and Peter headed toward the Great Hall for lunch, hoping to meet Remus there. Sirius had done his best to heal his own leg, not wanting Remus to feel guilty about hurting him. Having had years of experience healing injuries, he thought he'd done a good enough job, but his leg still felt a little wobbly.

"I'm starving." James proclaimed dramatically.

"I'm not. I'm exhausted. Maybe I'll skive off Potions today and take a nap." Sirius replied with a yawn.

"You can't do that!" James cried. Sirius looked at him doubtfully. Since when had James cared about skipping classes?

"I'm not making a potion on my own." James declared and Sirius snorted with laughter.

"Maybe I should leave you on your own; you made me bark in front of the entire class!"

"All you did was run around and lick some girls. Not too different from your usual behavior…"

Peter laughed heartily at James' jibe and Sirius rolled his eyes and smiled.

When they got to the Great Hall, James immediately spotted Remus sitting with Lily and made a beeline for them. He slid in the seat across from them and shot Lily a winning smile that made her roll her eyes before asking Remus:

"Alright, Moony?" James asked with an easy grin as Sirius waved cheerily at Lily.

Remus smiled weakly at them, scanning their faces the same way he did after every full moon to make sure they were all intact.

"Hey, Evans, this is official Marauder business?" James said to Lily, never dropping his charming smile.

Lily huffed in annoyance and stormed off. James' grin slid off his face.

"Subtle, Prongs." Remus said, failing to repress a small smile. Sirius snorted in agreement.

"What? What'd I say?" James demanded, oblivious as ever.

His eyes were wide with surprise and he appeared genuinely confused. Sirius felt a rush of affection for the always predictable James. That was one of his favorite things about James. James wore his emotions on his sleeve, and whether he liked to admit it or not, most people could read him like a book. Although it had gotten them in a fair bit of trouble several times (he was absolutely transparent to the teachers), Sirius would never have changed that about his friend. Growing up with a family that led him to believe that showing emotion was weakness, it was always refreshing to be around someone who simply didn't care enough to be manipulative of his emotions.

"I think she's warming up to you." Sirius said with a smirk.

"Please." Remus scoffed.

"No, really! She hardly ever yells at him anymore. Sometimes they hold a full conversation."

Remus gave him a pointed look.

"Er…half a conversation" Sirius amended fairly, "Still, progress is progress!"

James considered this and grinned again, "Think I should ask her out again?"

Remus and Peter sighed, but Sirius just laughed.

"I wanted to ask you lot something," Remus began, hoping to distract James from Lily before he humiliated himself again, "you seem alright, but I'm mysteriously injury-free, which makes me think I really tore into you."

"Nah, you were pretty tame." Sirius replied nonchalantly.

"Then where did that huge scar on James' face come from?"

"Sirius scratched me when I woke him up this morning," James said blandly, still looking at Lily, "he can be such a girl sometimes, honestly."

Sirius responded by elbowing him in the ribs painfully. James finally tore his eyes away from Lily to elbow his friend back.

"I'm being serious." Remus said with a frown.

"Well you're not doing a very good job of it," Sirius grinned maniacally at the opening, "try to look less constipated."

James and Peter roared with laughter and Remus struggled to maintain his frown. He heaved a sigh, but it came out more like a chuckle.

James and Sirius slapped five and for a couple minutes, the Marauders didn't have a care in the world.

After they had finished lunch, the Marauders made a beeline for the dungeons. James and Remus had teamed up to alternately bully and shame Sirius into attending class. Sirius was glaring at James who grinned triumphantly back at him.

"Some friend you are, forcing me to go to Potions!"

"Hey, would a real friend let you abandon your education for something as ridiculous as sleep?" James replied smugly, clapping Sirius on the back.

"You both skive too much anyway," Remus said bossily, "the professors do notice these things."

"Doubtful." Sirius replied shortly.

The Marauders rounded a corner quickly and ran straight into Lily Evans and Snape, knocking them to the ground. James couldn't stop himself from letting out a laugh, but silenced himself when he caught a glare from Lily. Sirius, not wanting another confrontation, offered his hand to her. After throwing another annoyed look at James, she took his hand gratefully. But before he could even pull her up he yanked back his hand with force and let out a gasp of pain.

"Padfoot?" Peter inquired curiously.

Sirius' hand jumped to his back and he hissed in pain and fell to his knees. It felt like someone was stabbing him. He looked at his hand and let out a yelp, seeing how it was damp with blood.

James dropped next to him, "What's going on, Sirius? What's wrong?"

Sirius forced himself back on his feet, grunting against the pain. What was happening to him?

"I'll get Madame Pomfrey," Lily said, rushing down the hall.

"Fuck, Sirius, what happened to your back?" James demanded, finally discovering where the blood was coming from.

Sirius paled visibly. His back. He knew what was going on. He suddenly broke free of James and ran as fast as he could to the nearest bathroom. Slamming the door behind him, he pulled off his robes and yanked his shirt over his head. And there it was, clear as day. Toujours pur. The grotesque wound had reopened and was dripping much more blood than it should have been. Why had it started bleeding so painfully out of nowhere? He winced as it stung, blood running down his back, and contemplated what to do about it. Suddenly, Sirius was struck with an awful thought. He'd touched Lily's hand right before it had started bleeding. Sirius went cold as he remembered Orion's whispered threat of spilling his blood if he did something unworthy of it. That was truly sickening. His wound was enchanted; was it going to reopen every time he touched a muggle born? Toujours pur. It was an evil reminder of the consequences of his behavior "unbecoming of a Black".

"Sirius?" James was at the door. Sirius ran over to the entrance and slammed the door just as James was opening it.

"Sirius, what the fuck is going on in there? Are you alright?"

"Please just get out of here, James!" Sirius called from the other side. He didn't really want to have to explain any of this to anyone.

"Open this fucking door, Sirius Black! Let me in!"

"Go away!" Sirius yelled, pushing all of his weight into keeping the door closed. How could he have forgotten to lock the door? His wand was in his robes, which were too far away to reach.

Struggling mightily, Sirius turned the lock and heard James swear with frustration. Sirius let out a sigh of relief and returned to the sink to run some hot water on his wound. But he had underestimated his friend.

BAM. James had kicked the door open and was stomping inside when he saw the blood on the floor, and Sirius, white-faced, at the sinks. He turned immediately and shooed Peter and Lily away, both of whom were trying to peek into the bathroom. Fixing the door handily with his wand, he walked slowly toward Sirius.

"Sirius, what in the…" he trailed off when he saw what was etched into Sirius back in the mirror behind him. "What the fuck is that? Sirius, who did that to you?"

Sirius shot James an irritated look.

"Oh."

Sirius just sighed and sat down on the damp floor. The cool wall felt good against his smarting back. James sat next to him.

"That's sick. That's really sick."

Sirius nodded.

"Why didn't you—"

"Why didn't I what, James?" Sirius snapped, looking at him.

"I…nothing, sorry." James finished quietly, looking back at Sirius' defiant, emotionless face. He willed the façade to crack, and for Sirius to let on that he was feeling something, but predictably, it did not. He wanted to hug Sirius, but had a feeling that if he tried Sirius would either start crying or punch him in the face.

"Well," Sirius said shortly, "it doesn't hurt anymore." He got up and looked in the mirror; indeed the cut had closed up once more. He wordlessly cleaned the bathroom with his wand and put his shirt and his robes back on.

"That's pretty…macabre. Even for him."

"Sirius," James began.

"We should go."

"We need to talk about—"

"Oh, James, just leave it alone," Sirius said irritably, "I really don't want to talk about it, and I can pretty much guarantee that you don't want to hear about it. Let's just go."

James, unwilling to let Sirius brush him off again, got up and stood in front of the door, crossing his arms, "Sirius, I think it's time you told me what happened when you went home."

Sirius let out a loud, humorless laugh, "You want to hear about it? You want to hear all about how I was beaten with the cane like a child? How I was cut up like an animal? How he threated to mutilate my face? Or how about when he, my own father, tortured me with an unforgivable curse, even though I knelt at his feet, like a coward, like a dog, begging him to stop? Is that what you want to hear about?"

James' mouth dropped open and his eyes were wide with horror, "He used that…on you?"

Sirius nodded with a shaky smile and in spite of himself, laughed again, "And I'm going back."

"What? No! Sirius, you can't even go back there!" James grabbed his shoulders, willing himself not to shake his friend in frustration.

"Yes I can. I can and I will. For this Christmas, and probably every single one after. Because if I don't, he'll come get me. And he told me if I left, he'd kill me. And he'll kill everyone who tries to help me, and that means you too, James. So I'll go back. Again and again. I'll not have you or your family hurt. Not on my account."

"Sirius, be reasonable! I won't let you go back there! I'm not afraid of your father!"

"That's the beauty of it," Sirius said with a tight smile, "you don't have to be."

"Sirius, I'm going to figure out a way to get you out of there. I swear. Even if I have to knock you out and kidnap you, I'm not going to let you go back and get tortured to death! For Merlin's sake, let the rest of us worry about ourselves and save yourself for once!"

"Sorry. I can't." And he swept past James without looking back.

"DAMN IT!" James kicked the door he had just repaired, once, twice, three times and screamed in frustration. He sank to the floor, gripping his hair and felt tears coming to his eyes. He couldn't stop himself from imagining Sirius screaming in pain, Sirius getting cut open; the images came quickly and vividly and he covered his eyes, almost as if it was happening in front of him and he could hide from it. But they were inside his head and he couldn't escape. Hate like he had never known boiled in the pit of his stomach, and suddenly he saw himself calmly walking to Number 12 Grimmauld Place and placing his hands around Orion Black's neck and squeezing it tighter and tighter until—

"James?"

James slowly moved his fingers from his eyes and saw Lily kneeling in front of him. Under any other circumstances, he would have felt embarrassment, but he was spent.

"What happened to Sirius?"

James just shook his head slowly.

"I understand." She said gently. And she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

James felt the first tears escape his eyes as he hugged her back. His heart swelled with love for the girl he knew would never feel the same way. She was the kindest girl he'd ever met and though he knew he didn't deserve a minute of her time, he was so grateful she was there for him.

"Everything's going to be alright, you know." She whispered to him.

James wished with all his being that he could believe her, "No, I don't think so. Not this time."

Sirius was just hoping to reach Gryffindor tower without any trouble. But, predictably, trouble found him.

"Where're you running off to, little Gryffindor?" called an awful, familiar voice.

Sirius spun around, wand at the ready. Lucius Malfoy was ambling down the halls like he owned the castle. Sirius could hardly think of anyone he'd like to see less right now. Sirius didn't truly hate many people, but Lucius Malfoy surely was one of them. Malfoy was worse than mean, he was downright cruel, and unfortunately, almost nobody seemed to notice. He had been a prefect and Head Boy when he had attended Hogwarts, and he had the ability to be so charming that all the teachers loved and trusted him. Nobody seemed to notice that Malfoy would torture the younger students mercilessly, especially Sirius. Sirius had spent the better part of four years at Hogwarts fearing and dodging him. Now that he was older, Sirius knew that Malfoy was nothing more than an oversized bully and he had little patience with him. But a small part of him still shivered when he thought about how afraid he was of Malfoy as a child. How Malfoy had almost tricked him into drowning when he was six, and the countless times Malfoy had terrorized him at school.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy? Looking for something else to tattle to my father about, are you?"

Lucius shook his head in mock pity, "Oh, Sirius, I was only looking out for you. It isn't my fault that you get yourself into trouble so often."

Lucius was only slightly taller than Sirius, but he'd always have a way of making Sirius feel very small. The same way his father did, "Well, I'm not looking for any trouble. So will you please leave me alone and find someone else to annoy?"

"I'm not up to anything either," Lucius said smoothly, "just came by to visit your cousin."

"Great. Then get out of my way." Sirius snarled, and he made to push past the older boy.

"Not so fast, boy," Malfoy caught Sirius' arm and spun him against his will, "I know a little something I think may interest you."

"Not interested." Sirius started walking away.

"Pity to hear about your grandparents," Lucius said casually and Sirius stopped and turned around to glare at him, "and your dear uncle Alphard, of course. You're just losing family members left and right, aren't you?"

Sirius looked at Lucius and tried to gauge what he knew.

"Hope you're not next," Lucius continued with a smirk, "that'd be a pity."

Sirius couldn't think of a response, so he decided not to say anything.

"The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black may be coming to an end." Lucius said in mock sympathy.

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" Sirius snarled, "Then the Malfoy's would go up in stock instead of always playing second fiddle to the Blacks."

"Oh I'm not too worried about that," Lucius replied smugly, "A good marriage or two can solve that problem easily."

Narcissa. "You leave her alone, you snake," Sirius threatened, "she deserves better than the likes of you."

"Does that mean I don't have your permission to ask for her hand?" Lucius asking mockingly.

"You filthy bastard! You don't give a shit about her! You're just trying to boost your family!"

"But I do care about Narcissa. I care about her pretty face, and her good lineage, and her big—"

"You shut up about her." Sirius spat.

"You're awfully defensive; she's only your cousin." Lucius said, looking supremely unconcerned with the threat, "Unless you're like the other Blacks, and her being your cousin gets you going? Personally, I always thought you had different…inclinations. Probably because every time I see you, you're riding on James Potter's-"

Sirius drew his wand again.

"Go on," Lucius narrowed his eyes and smiled, "Really. I want you to. I will drop you so fast; it'll wake up your dead relatives."

Sirius lowered his wand reluctantly and just shook his head. He wasn't going to let Malfoy provoke him over something stupid. He wasn't going to get sent home again. He wouldn't survive it.

Lucius sighed, clearly disappointed, "Pity. I had such a spanking ready for you."

His fist reacted fasted than his brain, but as usual, Malfoy was ready for him. He grabbed Sirius' wrist and twisted it so hard that Sirius let out a cry of pain in spite of himself. Sirius tried to pull himself free but Lucius slammed him against the wall hard enough to make him see stars. His free hand closed around Sirius' throat. Sirius glared at Malfoy, hating him.

"You're so predictable." Malfoy laughed, his hand tightening around Sirius' throat.

Sirius glanced around at the empty hall, but no one was there. He looked back at Malfoy and wished he hadn't. Malfoy's chilly gray eyes and wide grin held cruelty all too familiar to him. Sirius could almost feel himself shrinking in fear. Malfoy's pupils were dilated and huge and a disturbing thought crept into Sirius' mind about the way his enemy was looking at him…

"If you really want to know why I'm here, I'll tell you," Lucius said silkily, "I'm…recruiting."

"For…what?" Sirius responded, still struggling to breathe.

"Oh you'll find out soon enough. I daresay you'll be one of us before you know it." He let go of Sirius and Sirius retreated quickly, rubbing his throat.

"Anything you're a part of I'd want nothing to do with." Sirius grumbled.

"Don't be so sure about that, boy. It's all a matter of…leverage."

Sirius just rolled his eyes. He had no idea what Malfoy was talking about, and he didn't care to find out, "If we're through with pleasantries, would you please fuck off out of here? You need to go lick my aunt's feet if you want her permission to marry Narcissa."

"Run along, then, off to your blood traitors and Mudbloods. While you can."

Sirius made a noise of disgust in the back of his throat and rolled his eyes, "You are an insane person, Malfoy. And I've outgrown you."

Sirius did want to find James (though not for the reasons Malfoy had alluded to) and tell him about what was about to happen to Narcissa. But when Sirius had finally managed to track him down it was in their dormitory at the end of the day. Remus and Peter weren't back yet. It was just the two of them. Sirius opened his mouth to say something about Malfoy, but stopped when he saw the look on James' face. James was sitting silently on his bed, holding his face in his hand. Sirius realized he hadn't given James adequate time to recover from what Sirius had told him earlier about what had happened over his suspension. Sirius sighed softly, wishing he had just kept his mouth shut about it. He hated that James had to share in his pain. He hated that James would sit there and feel guilty when he couldn't have done anything to stop what had happened from happening. It must have been tearing him up inside, knowing the full extent of the torture Sirius had endured and feeling helpless to have stopped it. Sirius knew this because if their roles were reversed he would have felt precisely the same way.

He couldn't bother James tonight. He'd done enough. So he just sat down next to his closest, most trusted friend in the world and leaned his head on James' shoulder, hoping that he could say, without words, that he was sorry that James would feel even a fraction of the pain he had felt after that night. James' arm came up around him, and James hugged him tightly, as if he never wanted to let him go. Sirius just sat there, letting James hold on to him because he knew it'd make James feel like he had enough power to keep him safe, even though, when it came to the Blacks, his friend was just as powerless as Sirius.