We shall continue right where the last chapter left off...
With Bu-bubu's bleeding body lying in front of him, Super Patch tried to keep himself calm. "I...I need to stay calm...stay calm and serious...I must...stay calm..."
Suddenly, Gasser burst out of the ground, the two businessmen still clinging to him, and he shouted, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, SUPER PATCH? DON'T TRY AND STAY CALM! GET ANGRY AND UNLEASH ALL YOUR RAGE OUT ON THE ENEMY! C'MON! WE'VE ALL DONE THE SAME THING BEFORE!"
"That's exactly why I cannot do it," Super Patch replied, "If I become super strong out of anger just like Jelly Jiggler, Bo-bobo and you, then I'll be considered the same as them! And that is something I cannot live with! So...I will calm down and think of Bu-bubu's death as a minor, unimportant inconvenience..."
"DUDE...THAT'S TERRIBLE! YOU'RE SUCH A JERK!" Gasser snapped at him.
"I...will remain...calm..." Super Patch chanted under his breath, and he closed his eyes and began to meditate. The blood seeping from Bu-bubu's wound was beginning to stain his shoes. Ignub was hovering around his head, laughing at him and making rude faces.
"C'MON, FIGHT ME!" Ignub cackled, "HEY, DON PATCH! DON'T BE LOSER NOW! FIGHT ME, YOU CHICKEN! FIGHT ME! FIGHT ME! FIGHT ME! SHOW ME HOW STRONG YOU ARE! HEY!"
'I wonder what he's going to do...' Gasser pondered as he watched Super Patch continue to stand in place with his eyes closed, not reacting to anything or anyone. Suddenly, as Ignub began to smack him repeatably with his wooden spoon, Super Patch's concentration began to weaken.
Noticing this, Gasser quickly formed a gasball and tossed it into Ignub's face, gaining his attention.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE! I'LL BE YOUR OPPONENT NOW!" Gasser exclaimed, trying his best to be brave.
Ignub scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You? Fight me? That's a laugh. Kid, do you not realize that you're one of the most pitiful main characters ever! You're a one-trick pony who can only fight with his farts!"
"SHUT UP!" Gasser pulled out a handful of mini fart-bombs and threw them all at Ignub, but the evil candy-corn just smacked them all away with his wooden spoon, causing them to hit into innocent bystanders instead.
"HERE I COME, BRAT!" Pressing a small button on the bottom of it, Ignub's wooden spoon became covered in spikes, and he flew directly at Gasser! Cursing, Gasser began running backwards, tossing as many gasballs as he could to stop Ignus' descent upon him, but to no avail.
Blood burst out of Gasser's mouth as the wooden spoon sliced across his chest, and Ignub laughed at the poor boy's painful expression. Ignub continued to bash Gasser around, and Gasser himself was beginning to lose consciousness due to the pain.
"WAAHAHA! DIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE!" Ignub screeched in maniacal glee.
Suddenly, Super Patch's eyes snapped open. "I GOT IT NOW! THE TRUTH BEHIND EVERYTHING!" Taking out a F-Cup Cookie(1), he ate it...and a Big Daddy(2) burst out of the ground, a spellbook(3) tied to its back.
"H-HEY!" Gasser coughed, "YOU...YOU JUST MADE THREE REFERENCES/PARODIES IN ONE SENTENCE! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"
Super Patch smirked and shook his head in disappointment. "You don't get it, dear Gasser. IT'S COMPLETELY POSSIBLE TO DO SUCH A THING...IN ENGLISH FANFICTION!"
"WHAT ABOUT FRENCH FANFICTION? OR SPANISH FANFICTION? I'VE READ JAPANESE FANFICTION THAT MAKES MORE SENSE! JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION!"
Snatching the spellbook, Super Patch quickly flipped it open and, reading a page, exclaimed, "The third spell...HAGANE NO RENKINJUTSUSHI(4)!"
The Big Daddy roared and a small subway train flew out of its stomach and smashed into Ignub's side, sending him flying across the room and saving Gasser from a deadly fate.
'THAT'S NOT HOW BIG DADDIES FIGHT!' Ignub thought as he crashed into a licorice stand.
Then, the Big Daddy nodded, took the spellbook, and was suddenly dragged underground by the businessmen.
Stumbling over to Super Patch's side, Gasser glanced down at Bu-bubu's motionless body and asked, "Tell me...what did you find out while meditating?"
"It's so obvious; haven't you noticed?" Super Patch replied, "Look around..."
Gasser scanned the entire area around him. For a moment, he had no idea what Super Patch meant, but then he realized it...everything around them had come to a complete halt. People were just standing in place, not moving a muscle, and even the clocks on the wall seemed to have froze in place.
"WHAT...WHAT IS THIS?!"
Super Patch flipped Bu-bubu over with his foot, and revealed that Bu-bubu's face had been replaced with a simplistic-looking face made out of Japanese characters(5).
"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!" Gasser cried, staring at "Bu-bubu" in shock and disbelief.
"The moment Bungi transformed into Ignub, we were warped into an alternate 'space-screen' dimension, where the laws of reality take a nose-dive, and outside presences cease to be affected by our battles..."
"UH...I DIDN'T REALLY GET ALL OF THAT!" Gasser cried.
"Basically, we're stuck in a small pocket of time and space that Ignub has created. Only you and me were warped here; Bu-bubu just thinks we have suddenly vanished."
Gasser let out a breath of relief. "So she's okay then? Phew! That's good...even though it kind of sounds like a cheap plot device to keep a major character alive after you've just killed him/her off..."
"That's because it IS!" Super Patch exclaimed, and then he flew over to Ignub, who was lying in the middle of the floor, just staring at the ceiling with nothing to do.
"Ignub."
"...Yes, Mr. I-Have-A-Loser-For-A-Fangirl?"
Without warning, Super Patch smashed his fist into Ignub's stomach. The punch was so powerful that it actually caused Ignub to spit up the Zenmetsu-gan, reverting him to his original form of Bungi! At that moment, everything began to move again, and Bu-bubu suddenly appeared standing next to Gasser, uninjured and rather confused about what had just happened.
"Insult the fans...and you get your neck cracked. Remember that. I learned that the hard way with the Narutards..." Super Patch said, smirking at Bungi, who was speechless in shock.
"BUT...BUT YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A NECK!" Bungi shrieked.
Taking out two cans of soda, Super Patch tore off the stay-tab openings and shook them violently for a moment. Then, he grew more, longer curved spikes and his torn wristbands became more unraveled. A huge aura of energy flowed off of his body, causing Bungi to become so afraid that he started to run away.
"AH! IT'S...DODON PATCH!" Gasser exclaimed.
Now as Dodon Patch, he quickly teleported in front of the fleeing Bungi, and said, "Sorry, but it's the end of the line for you."
"AHH...AHH...AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
"FEEL THE WRATH...OF MY MOUNTAIN DEW X COCA COLA EXTREME JUSTICE SLASHER!"
Soda burst out of the soda cans like geysers and, wielding them like katanas, Dodon Patch sliced a large 'X' across Bungi's body, and he did a backwards flip and landed a powerful downward slice on Bungi's face. Then, he landed one final horizontal slice...and it was all over.
Blood burst out of the candy-corn's mouth like a waterfall, and he collapsed onto the ground, defeated. Drinking what was left of the sodas, Dodon Patch sighed and muttered, "Hmph...that guy didn't even last for as many chapters as Ero-san. How pathetic."
"YAAY! YOU DID IT, DON PATCHI-KUN!" Bu-bubu exclaimed happily, wrapping her arms around Dodon Patch and pulling him into a deep kiss.
Looking around, Gasser realized that Rem and Hanpen had left, but that wasn't important, since he knew they were lucky enough to even get another appearance at all.
'Still...I hope the others will make it out okay like we did...' Gasser thought.
"GET OFF OF ME! GET OFF...OF...MEEEE!" Don Patch, now back to his original orange self, whined as he struggled to pull himself away from Bu-bubu.
However, none of them knew that Bungi had truly been the weakest of Richter's henchmen...
THE REFERENCE INDEX:
(1) - They're real. I'm serious.
(2) - The iconic enemies from the awesome FPS 'BioShock'. I'm gonna buy the PS3 version since I gots no X-Box 360.
(3) - Reference to the manga/anime series Zatch Bell and the mamodos, who fight via 'spells' read from their books.
(4) - The Japanese name of the popular manga/anime series 'Full Metal Alchemist'.
(5) 'Henohenomoheji' is the famous little face made out of Japanese hiranaga. Look it up for an actual reference.