Kate felt so many emotions play across her at the sight of him, that she
didn't know which one to contemplate first; sadness, fear, relief,
happiness. She knew she loved Sawyer, she had never been more certain of
anything in her whole life, but the conflicting emotions she was feeling
confused her. Jack had seemed alright when she had told him about her and
Sawyer. He hadn't raged or screamed at her, hadn't told her he didn't want
anything to do with her. Yes, he did judge her, judged her for being capable
of loving a man like Sawyer, or his perception of Sawyer, but she had
learned to expect that from Jack.

He looked much better than when she had seen him last. What she could see of
the cuts had mainly healed, the bruises almost completely faded. In fact,
he looked like he had had a month to heal, rather than a week or so, which
did puzzle her for a second, but like everything on the island, you learned
to just accept that, here, all kinds of unusual things happened.

Everyone was so pleased to see him; they were gathered around, all talking
to him at once. Kate could see Hurley put his arm around him, and see Jack
wince slightly and laugh; probably reminding him that he still wasn't
completely healed. Kate felt a sudden fear in the pit of her stomach that
the old animosity towards her and especially Sawyer would return. People had
pretty much accepted the two of them as a couple, or at; least they didn't et openly hostile looks from the others. The people who knew what Sawyer
had done for Jack; Locke, Sayid, Jin and Sun had always regarded the
two of them on friendly terms ever since, despite Sawyer's best efforts to try
and dissuade them. Although Kate had a sneaking suspicion that Sawyer had
been trying less and less to push people away as time went by, almost as if
he was getting used to people regarding him in a nice way, like he was
getting used to the possibility that he might, one day, have friends. And
Kate hoped so badly that Jack's return wasn't going to push him right back
in the other direction.

Kate knew Jack's opinion of Sawyer. When they had first crashed, she had
been ready to agree with him. But she, more than anyone else, had been able
to see inside his facade, to see the cracks in his amour. There were times
he was just laid bare in front of her, with their first kiss, the game of 'I
Never.' No one else got to experience this side of him and that had made her
feel special. She found herself feeling like this was a gift he was placing
before her, the real him, testing how she would react to it. And she had let
him down many times. She ran, she backed up Jack against him, and
pushed him away.

But he did the same to her; he used her, just to show her that he could, to
show her what he was capable of, as if she didn't already known. It hurt her
more than she ever thought, the way he conned her into helping him get the
guns. She was surprised at the depth of the betrayal she felt. She knew that
was the moment she knew the extent of her feelings for him, because no one
can hurt you like the one you love. It scared her so badly. That she could
feel that depth of emotion for anyone. She thought she was closed off to
that. A cold-hearted bitch. She had to be. You can't be on the run and get
attached. With Jack it had been safe. There was so much that they disagreed
on that she could never fall for him that hard. She admired him, wished that
she could be good like him, that people would look at her with the respect
that they did when they looked at him. It both attracted her to him and repelled her at the
same time. Being with him was just another form of self-flagellation. A
constant reminder of how she was just not good enough, how she would never
be good enough for him. Yet he grew attracted to her too and for a while
she thought that this meant she was a good person, that he saw something
good in her and would nurture it and let her grow. But she quickly realized
that this wasn't true. That to Jack, she was someone who needed to be fixed,
someone who needed his help and guidance. He wanted to change her and the
more he tried, the more it angered her, and the more frustrated she got at him.

Then came that night with Sawyer. It was supposed to been Hurley there that
night and she wondered if they would have still ended up together if Sawyer
hadn't been bored enough to do Hurley a favor. Would they still be playing
their endless games with one another? The banter, the sexual tension, so real
you could almost feel it as a force between them. Would she still be
following Jack, feeling that she was unworthy of his attention?

She was so glad that night had happened. That one night that marked the
beginning of something that would change her life forever. She couldn't
remember ever feeling so free and easy with someone. Sawyer had his guard
down for once, he was playful and amusing, showing her everything she loved
about him, and she couldn't help but respond by letting her own down, laying
herself before him in more ways that one.

It was inevitable. She should have known it really. Inevitable that she
would find her way into his embrace somehow. Nothing else, no one else would
ever feel right after him. They were like two halves of a whole, separated
and thrown into a world full of cruelty and heartbreak. Their physical and
emotional scars fresh for each other to see, because only he understood. He
had always understood. Every since that first day where she has disarmed
him, pretending that she didn't know how to dismantle a gun. He had known she
was bluffing, she could see it by the smirk on his face. He had said he had
met girls like her before. But she knew he was lying. She could feel it that
day, like a physical force, his probing eyes, the way his breath increased;
he was testing her shields, trying to work her out. He recognized something
deep inside her that no one else had ever seen. She saw the momentary
puzzlement in his eyes before he let go of his fierce grip on her arm. She
remembered, with a slight blush, how being that close to him had instantly made
her pulse speed up, her nipples harden. Made her instinctively wonder how it
would feel if he pushed her roughly against the tree nearby. Never had she
felt such a forceful physical attraction to anyone. It both frightened and
intrigued her, made her treat him with even more disregard than she normally
would have. Trying to push him away as much as she imagined he had been
trying with her back then.

Sawyer was looking at Kate with a worried and puzzled expression on his
face. She was staring at Jack and the group, a far away look in her eye, and
Sawyer couldn't guess what she was thinking. He felt the old feelings of
jealously and disappointment rise to the surface. The awful feeling in the
pit of his stomach that he wasn't worthy of her. That even now, she might
realize it. He found himself tearing his gaze away from her unresponsive face
and over to where she was staring. As if he felt the weight of his stare,
Jack instantly locked eyes with him and Sawyer could see the battle the man
was fighting not to let the group see his bitter anger at seeing the two of
them together. Sawyer couldn't help the trademark grin rise to his lips.
Despite everything that had happened, knowing he had pissed of Jackass still
managed to bring a smile to his lips. He knew he should be trying to stop
the impulse. That he was trying to put his old grievances behind him. But
Kate staring at Jack with that faraway look in her eyes made him want to
rage against the world once again.

He turned away, back to Kate and slid his arm around her waist, instantly
drawing Kate out of her thoughts. She looked at him as if she had forgotten
he was there and smiled up at him. Seeing her smile at him managed to
dislodge some of the painful thoughts that had been forming in his mind and he kissed her gently on the lips.

"You wanna catch up now, or leave him to his adoring public," Sawyer asked,
his voiced laced with sarcasm.

Kate just rolled her eyes at his sarcasm, but couldn't keep a smile form on
her lips. "Maybe it's a good idea if we see him later, once all the hype
dies down," she said, her forehead creasing into a frown when she thought of how
that conversation would go.

Sawyer noticed this and kissed her forehead, trying to ease out her frown.
"Well then, sweetness, you feel like retuning to our humble abode? I sure can
think of a few things I wanna do to you that will wipe all worries about
jackass straight outta your mind."

Kate turned around, away from where she was facing the rest of the group
until she was pressed up against the front of his body, everything else
forgotten as the implications of his words flashed through her mind. She
licked her lips and pressed them against his, softly at first, running her
tongue against his bottom lip in a move she knew sent shivers down his
spine. He moved his hands until they were tangled in her hair, pulling out
the loose ponytail her hair was in the process. He pulled away from her
with a grin that made parts of her body automatically wet.

"What did I do to deserve that Freckles?" he asked, "'Cos I'll be sure to do
it again!"

She just smiled at him, her secret Kate smile, the one she reserved
especially for him and led him to their tent. He may have many things he
wanted to do to her, but she could think of plenty that she wanted to do to
him right at this moment. As they reached the tent flap, Kate couldn't help
steal one last furtive glance behind her. She saw it only for an instance,
the pain in Jack's eyes had turned to a deep seated rage, and it scared her.
Although she knew he was a good man, she recognized that look in his
eyes. And she knew, no matter how much of a good person Jack might be, you can
truly never know just what people are capable of.