The Day School Got TWISTED Chapter 35
"No zombie, no zombie, no zombie, no zombie, no zombie, no zombie, no zombie, PLEASE no zombie!" About 12 of us in the elvish classroom chanted
As you can probably remember what happened last time a zombie entered the school, we were not eager for that to happen again.
Elrond was beyond mad at me, Noliee, Casey and Jackie and he said if he even heard the word 'Ice Skate' again for any of us he would suspend us for the rest of the year.
But we had dirt on him. I told him that I was sure that all of the students would love to know that their principle wore underwear on his head, worshiped Spongebob and acted like a baby when something didn't go his way.
After that, Elrond glared at me for a long time. I glared back. Then it went something like this…
"This whole conversation never happed." Elrond said
"Agreed." I replied and nodded seriously
Then we vowed never to tell another soul of what happened at the ice rink or what my friends and me had seen at the apartment building.
We smiled. Then, we shook hands. Wow.
I laughed quietly to myself as I remembered the entire thing. I was just about to poke Jackie and ask her for some gum when the door creaked open and the sub entered.
There were several loud gasps from around the room. Standing there in the doorway was Captain Jack Sparrow!
"Hello class!" he said happily and strutted into the room waving his arms around in that funky manner
On his way to the teacher's desk he took his hat off and waved it around a bit before he randomly tossed it to Jackie.
She caught it and put the hat on her head. Then she giggled evilly and smiled at Noliee.
Apparently there was something more going on that may involve an inside joke.
"Okay, since your normal teacher isn't here, as you know, I am going to be your substitute teacher for a while!" Jack announce
"YAY! NO ZOMBIE!" The class cheered
"You're not a zombie are you?" Lynsay asked and poked him suspiciously
Jack pondered this.
"Does a previously cursed pirate count?" he asked looking at her seriously
Lynsay blinked, "Nooo…"
"Well, that's good then! I will now take attendance." He said sounding very teacher like, "Okay then, Alice?"
"HERE!" She replied and waved her hand around
"Sarah?"
"MEOW MIX!" she replied
0.o? "Right then, Noliee?"
"Yesss precious. It is I. Nolieeeee." Noliee said putting on her best Gollum impression
"Ooookay…Cloe?"
"What do you want?" she asked from the back of the room
"I want to know if you are here today." Jack said
"Well, I'm not." Cloe replied
"Sure. Jackie?"
"Hello! I am the one called Jackie!" Jackie said with a huge smile, "I have your hat!"
"I see that Jackie. Nice name by the way, take off two letters and you have my name." Jack said and returned the smile
When Jackie started to get that look in her eyes that reminded me of Casey, I promptly poked her.
"Rachel?" Jack called
I frowned, "I'm here but please call me Cheesy. I hate the name Rachel."
"Okay, I'll have to remember that Cheesy. Brittney?"
Eggzilla hooted in response.
Jack looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "Are you part monkey?"
Eggzilla hooted again.
"That is Eggzilla. Ignore her." Jackie informed
"Okay I will. Hmmm, this is going to take to long. I'll just assume that all of you are here." Jack said and tossed the attendance list in the air, "Now we can start the lesson…WILL, BRING THE BOOKS!"
There were more gasps when Will entered the room carrying two large books.
Casey stared intently at him. There was something VERY familiar about him.
"YOU!" she stood up and shouted at him, "Do I know you?"
Will looked back at her, "No…who are you?"
"I'm Casey." She said with a smile, "You look like someone, but I can't think of why or who."
Noliee just about died laughing.
"Hey Casey, try to picture him with blond hair and pointy ears. Does that help?" She asked
Casey sat back down and was silent for a while.
Will shook his head and set the books down on the desk. Jack looked at the lesson plan and frowned.
"What's Elvish?" he quietly asked Will
"I don't know." Will replied with a shrug
Jack opened the book and tried to read it. When he found that he couldn't he tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.
"What is all this blugga blogga?" he asked no one in particular, "Moo goovoonoblu?"
Noliee snorted loudly.
"Um, that would be Mae Govannen." I informed
"Oh, well how in the name of the Black Pearl am I supposed to say this stuff?" Jack asked, "I-
"OHHHH MY GOSH!" Casey exclaimed finally realizing whom Will looked like, "YOU LOOK LIKE THAT GUY AT THE PIZZA SHOP!"
The entire class looked at her.
Noliee fell over laughing at Casey's stupidness.
"The guy at the pizza shop! I was thinking more along the lines of Legolas?" I said
Casey looked at Will again.
"Nope. I don't see it. Besides, no one else could look like Elfy. Except for the guy that works at the pizza shop that Will looks like. But no, he doesn't look like my Elfy." Casey said
"But you just said…Forget it." Jackie said smiling wildly, "You can continue Caption Jack!"
I rolled my eyes. Fan girl Jackie? That was just odd.
"Well, like I was tryin' to say, I can't speak this Elvish and besides, it seems terribly boring. I know! Lets go to the beach!" Jack said and clapped his hands together
"Dude. Its December, which means its cold." Cloe announced flatly
"Yeah, how are we going to go to the beach? Its all snowy and yucky." Jackie said
"Not in the Caribbean luv." Jack replied, "Its warm and sunny! Lets go!"
0.o? "How are we going to get there?" Alice asked
"If you say that we are going to walk, I'm going to smack you." Cloe hissed and shook her fist at him
"No need for that! I'll just do that clapping thing that Elrond told me about." Jack announced
"What!" the class asked at the same time
"Well, I'll just show you." Jack said and clapped his hands making us all disappear
All of us appeared again soon after on a sunny beach.
"WOW! That was cool!" I exclaimed and looked around
Sure enough were the entire class was standing there blinking repeatedly.
"COOL! WE ARE AT THE BEACH!"
Can you guess whose wonderful logic that was? If not, it was Casey.
"Really Casey? I thought we were on the moon." Noliee said sarcastically
"We are?" Casey asked and looked at the sand
"NO!" Noliee replied and smacked her
"This is good and all but how are we suppose to enjoy the beach in winter clothing?" Alice asked and looked down at her long sleeved shirt and jeans
Jack pounded for a while before he suddenly clapped his hands. All of us were now wearing purple chicken suites. Jack sighed and tried again.
This time it worked. Everyone was dressed in brightly colored beachwear, including Hats, swimsuits, sandals and sunglasses. We also had boogie boards (It's a little surf board thing that you lay on and…yeah well I hope ya get it.), volleyballs and other stuff that you would take to the beach.
"That clapping thing works wonders." I said
"Well! What are you waiting for? Go have fun!" Jack said and shooed up away
The class wooted happily and ran off to various parts of the beach.
Casey ran in a circle before she flopped down on and tossed the sand in the air.
"Weeee!" she yelled
Jackie's eyes went huge when she saw the boogie boards.
"Cheesy! We must go boogie boarding RIGHT NOW!" she said and pulled my arm
"Okay! Okay!" I replied and let her lead me over to the pile of boogie boards
"You know," Lynsay said, "This would be a lot more fun if our teachers were here."
"You're right. That would be fun! We could have a massive volleyball game!" Lynsay said and tossed a volleyball in the air
"Hey Jack!" Noliee shouted to him, "Can you make our teachers appear?"
Jack nodded and clapped his hands. Soon the teachers stood there looking very confused.
"Um, How did we get here?" Elrond asked as Casey ran past shrieking gibberish, "And how did all the children from the school get here?"
"Well, I wouldn't expect you to know." Celeborn replied with an evil smile
Elrond gave Celeborn the evil eyebrow glare but remained calm.
"Ooh, I like the beach!" Aragorn said and shuffled around in a circle
"Why are we here and who is that?" Gimli asked and pointed to Jack who was off in his own little world
He was talking to a palm tree, he asked it for a coconut.
"DUDE? WHO ARE YOU?" Haldir shouted to him
Jack yelled in surprise and fell over. At the same time a coconut fell from the tree and clunked him on the head. This made him pass out.
Galadriel gasped loudly and put a hand to her forehead.
"What is it?" Everyone shouted
"All of us were magically transported here." Galadriel said, "Something else is going to happen soon. Someone from another Middle Earth is going to be joining us shortly…again."
Gandalf nodded, "All right. What are we suppose to do while we wait for this person?"
"You tell us! You are the all mighty wizard." Aragorn said
It was then that Noliee and Lynsay ran up to them.
"Hello! Jack was nice enough to bring you here!" Noliee said and hugged Aragorn
Aragorn looked disturbed, NOLIEE just hugged him.
"Who is Jack?" Elrond demanded
Lynsay pointed to the guy lying on the ground with the coconut near his head.
"Oh. Okay then." Gandalf said, "Why?"
" 'Cause we wanted you to have fun." I yelled as I ran past carrying a boogie board, "Everyone love the beach!"
The teachers looked unsure.
"We have food!" Jackie shouted as she also ran past carrying a boogie board
The hobbits smiled.
"Merry, did you hear that?" Pippin exclaimed and ran off to find the food
Merry, Sam and Frodo followed at equal speeds.
"FOOOOOOOD!" They shouted
"Uuuuhh…it seems okay to me." Gimli said and picked up a randomly placed beach ball
"Its too hot!" Gandalf complained, "And to sandy and to wet and to-
A volleyball hit him in the head.
"Well, when Jack wakes up you can ask him to instapoof you some…swimsuits." Noliee said but then pictured Gandalf in a swimsuit
She covered her eyes and ran off screaming.
Elrond stared blankly at the ocean, and then as if in a trance he walked over to it and stopped at the very edge where sand met water.
"Oooh, its so shiny." He said
"Hey Elrond! Try actually getting in the water." I called to him
He raised an eyebrow, "But I'll get wet."
I sighed, "No! REALLY!"
He nodded.
I noticed that Haldir was quietly sneaking upon Elrond who was staring at the shiny water.
"BOO!" Haldir yelled and pushed Elrond in the water
"AHHHHH! AHHH! AHHHHHHH! GET ME OUT! GET ME OOOOOOUUUUUTTT!" Elrond yelled and thrashed around wildly
"Dude, its okay." Jackie said as she floated over to Elrond on her boogie board
Elrond stopped moving, realizing that he could sit in the water and still have his head above it.
"What is that thing you are sitting on?" Elrond asked Jackie like nothing had happened
"It's called a boogie board. Wanna try it?" Jackie replied
Elrond nodded.
I laughed quietly; this was going to be good.
"Well, I am not getting wet." Galadriel said
"Me neither." Gandalf said
"Well, Lets go talk about intelligent things over there." Galadriel said and pointed to a sunny spot on the beach
"All right." Gandalf replied and followed her
Aragorn and Boromir smiled widely before they wooted loudly and jumped in the water splashing Gimli and Haldir.
Celeborn looked around and saw several of the kids playing a game where they were hitting a ball back and forth over a net. He smiled and ran off in that direction. Haldir decided to follow him, he didn't want to get wet either.
Gimli laughed and went to go find the hobbits; maybe they had some food. Gimli was particularly happy today but then again anything that Legolas missed out on and he was in on amused him.
He found the Hobbits building a sand castle with Casey. They had a piece of chicken in one hand and in the other they had a shovel.
"Let's build a moat!" Pippin said and started digging
"Hi Gimli! Wanna help?" Casey asked enthusiastically
"Sure." Gimli replied and sat down next to her and the hobbits, "Where did you get that chicken?"
"Here ya go Gimli. Have some!" Merry said and passed him the enormous bucket of Barbequed chicken
Celeborn continued to run to the spot where the volleyball game was being held. It wasn't that far but you have to remember, Celeborn is over 6,000 years old…I think. Well, he's old so yeah. The fact that he was wearing a long robe thing didn't help matters. He kept falling and getting stuck on pieces of dried seaweed that washed up on the beach.
When the poor elf finally made it over to the volleyball game, he fell over and lay there for sever minuets.
"Ugh." Jack mumbled and sat up
"Finally!" Cloe said sighed loudly, "I've been trying to wake you up for like and hour!"
"Huh? Who are you?" Jack asked only half with it
"CLOE!" she yelled and threw a rock at him
"Ow! Hey, I though I did the clapping thing and gave everyone swimsuits." Jack said noticing that Cloe was still in her normal black clothes
"I never wear a swimsuit. Not under and circumstances. Got that?" Cloe said and sat down against the palm tree
Jack nodded, "Okay then."
"Since you are awake, you can instapoof those teaches of ours and get away from my palm tree! Its mine and no one else's!" Cloe hissed and poked Jack
He quickly scooted away from her and looked at the teachers. Jack clapped his hands and now they too had mass amounts of beachwear.
Galadriel shrieked when a large floppy straw hat appeared on her head and green tinted sunglasses, that matched her swimsuit, appeared on her face.
The hobbits and Gimli didn't even notice. They were too focused on building a sand castle.
Elrond noticed though. He was in the process of going over a wave when a hat blocked his view and made him fall off the board.
"AHHHHH! I'M BLIND!" He yelled
Suddenly there was a huge flash of light that caught everyone's attention.
"Did I say the magic word or something?" Elrond asked as he sat in the water
From the flash of light came a swirling portal. The portal made a farting noise and spit something out. Or someone rather…
The person few out of the portal and landed in a heap of black robes on the beach.
Casey gasped, "IT'S THE TOOTH FAIRY!"
Noliee rolled her eyes, everyone watched as she approached the figure.
"Hello? Who are you person?" she asked poked them
"SCREEEEEEECHHHHHH!" The Nazgul replied and got up quickly
She screamed and ran off to hide.
"Um, hi? I remember you! I'm Bob ya know?" the Nazgul said
"SCHEEEECHHHHH!" I replied trying to properly communicate with Bob
He looked at me and if a Nazgul could raise an eyebrow, he would have.
He screeched back however and soon the two of us were caught up in an engaging conversation in 'Screech language' as I like to call it.
The teachers were completely confused as to what was being said and weren't very patient on the matter. Soon they settled for pointing sharp objects at Bob as they tried to look intimidating.
For some reason Bob wasn't afraid. Maybe it was the fact that freaky looking people in swimsuits surrounded him.
Bob stared blankly at them and screeched in question.
"People? The Nazgul is nice! He is not going to eat anyone's head!" I informed and winced at the mental picture of a Nazgul eating someone's head
Slowly they backed away. I hugged Bob and ran off to join the volleyball game.
Bob stared at the teachers who were still looking at him with evil glares on their faces.
"If I wanted to attack, don't ya think I would have by now?" Bob asked
Very slowly the teachers went back to what they were doing. Bob sighed and followed me to the volleyball game.
"Hiya!" I said, "Can I play!"
"Sure! Does Bob want to play too?" Lynsay asked
She saw the Nazgul following me and figured that he was coming this way.
" 'K!" Bob said and hopped over to Lynsay
Celeborn, Alice, Queen Hazza, Will, Piggy, Chloe, Anna, Jack, Kitty, Haldir, Casey, Gimli, Merry, Karvian, Pippin, Sam and Frodo were standing around waiting to volleyball.
Apparently, Casey, Gimli and the hobbits had given up on the sandcastle after it had been destroyed by Elrond who crashed into it when the boogie board he was on went crazy.
"Why don't we get everyone over here so we can play a huge game of volleyball?" Kitty suggested
"Okay! I'll go get them!" Casey suggested and took off running down the beach
"Do you think that she will come back?" Haldir asked
"I wouldn't count on it." Anna said
"Should someone else go tell everyone?" Queen Hazza suggested
"If she doesn't come back in five minuets. Lets send someone else." Celeborn said
"Agreed." All of us said
(5 minuets later)
"Okay, so who wants to go?" Alice asked and crossed her arms
"I'll go!" Celeborn said enthusiastically
"No offence, but you are too slow." Alice said with a laugh
Celeborn growled and sent death glares in the direction of Alice.
"Hmm…Will! You can go!" Alice said
"But I-
"GO NOW!" She yelled
"Okay, okay!" said and walked off
Pippin picked up a volleyball and tried to balance it on his head. This didn't work; the ball bounced off his head and hit Celeborn in the face.
"OWWWW!" Celeborn howled
He threw the ball back to Pippin but it hit Gimli instead.
"Hey! Watch it elf! Do not toss a dwarf and do not toss stuff AT the dwarf!" Gimli complained and threw the volleyball in a random direction
This time it hit Bob.
He screeched in anger and threw it as hard as he could. The ball hit the sand bounced off and flew down the beach. It just kept going and going and going like the energizer bunny. Soon the ball was out of our site.
"Whoa! Where did it go?" Merry asked and spun around looking for the ball
"What is going on?" Elrond asked appearing suddenly behind the group
"Bob threw a volleyball." I informed
"And this is interesting because…" Elrond asked
"It went really far." Queen Hazza said
Elrond rolled his eyes.
"So where is everyone else?" Kitty asked
"They are coming." Elrond said, "Look, here come Jackie, Aragorn and Boromir now."
"Hello! Who else are we waiting for?" Jackie asked and picked up another volleyball
"No one besides Casey." I replied as I saw Galadriel, Gandalf, Eggzilla, and Cloe coming over
Suddenly Casey came running up the beach screaming that she could not find anyone. Then she everyone standing there and smiled stupidly
"Good! Now that we are all here, we can start the game!" I said, "Hey wait, what's that!'
Something in a brown sack floated up on the beach.
"It better not be another Nazgul!" Gandalf said
"Let me out! Help!" the sack shouted
(Gasp) "That sounded like Noruas!" Anna said
I ran over to the bag and untied it.
"Noruas!" I screamed and hugged the pink cat
Noruas growled in warning.
"Sorry, sorry! I forgot about the no hugging thing." I said
Noruas shook out his fur and sat down in the sand.
"Well, thank you for saving my life. Hmm, I appear to be on some island with all the slobs from the school, except for the slob who tied me up in the first place!" Noruas hissed
"Ooookay, why is that cat talking? Is that cat I had in my office?" Elrond exclaimed
-.- "Yes, it is I slob." Noruas said but then he spotted Frodo
At the same time Frodo looked at him and he tried to grab something around his neck that wasn't there.
"ITS HIM! ITS HIM!" Frodo screamed and pointed to Noruas who was staring at him intently, "HE HAS COME FOR ME!"
"Its just a cat." Jack said, "Calm down!"
"NOOOOO! ITS HIM!" Frodo yelled and continued to spaz out
"Who? Who is it Frodo?" Aragorn asked
"HIM!" Frodo replied
"Wow that helps." Noliee said sarcastically and rolled her eyes
"Its…its…Sauron!" Frodo yelled and fell over
Sam instantly ran to him and tried to help him up.
0.o? "Um, no Frodo. That is a pink cat that talks." I said, "Noruas is defiantly not Sauron. Are you?"
Noruas tilted his head to one side and meow cutely.
All: AWWWWW!
Noruas smirked evilly.
"Do you wanna join the volleyball game?" I asked him
"Hmmm. Fine, I will join your slob game." Noruas said
"Okay, lets split up into teams." Noliee said and started randomly placing people on two teams
The final order ended up like this…
On one team was Celeborn, Sam, Will, Galadriel, Noliee, Queen Hazza, Aragorn, Pippin, Eggzilla, Bob, Anna, Cloe, Karvian, Haldir, and Casey.
On the other team was Alice, Piggy, Chloe, Jack, Kitty, Gimli, Merry, Frodo, Elrond, Boromir, Gandalf, Eggzilla, Me, Jackie, Noruas and Lynsay.
After the rules were explained, in massive detail, we were finally ready to play.
Noliee picked up the volleyball and served it over the net to our team.
Elrond was right on it, he leaped and flew through the air and hit it back over the net.
Aragorn gasped and made a dive for it. He managed to save the ball but he slammed in to Eggzilla. She freaked out and stared throwing sand everywhere.
"EGGZILLA STOP IT!" Everyone commanded
She hooted and grabbed the ball from Aragorn. Then she hit it as hard as she could to the other side of the net.
Jack managed to return it before it hit the sand.
Celeborn saw the ball coming right at him. He yelled and covered his face with his hands.
The ball flew over his head and Queen Hazza hit it back over the net.
(Later)
The scores were tied and this was for the last point.
I shrieked as the ball flew towards my head.
Noruas suddenly floated up in the air and punched the ball.
"Whoa! That was cool!" I said
"Slob volleyball! How I hate it!" Noruas hissed
Anna growled and returned the ball.
Chloe easily bumped back over the net.
Casey gasped and yelled as the ball almost hit her in the face. Luckily Karvian saved it.
Gandalf simply lifted his hand and the ball flew back across the net.
"Hey! No using powers!" Alice scolded
"Yeah, now we get a free move too!" Pippin said
"Fine! Fine! Just throw the ball!" Piggy said now totally into the game
Galadriel smiled and made the ball fly over the net with extreme force!
Noruas run up Boromir's back and launched himself into the air. The pink cat flipped, let out a samurai yell and again punched the ball over the net.
The extreme force of Noruas and Galadriel's powers was too much for the ball to handle. With a great boom the ball busted into a million pieces.
"Nice." Cloe said sarcastically
"Aww! What are we going to do now?" Merry asked
"Yeah, there are no more volleyballs!" Noliee shrieked
"I guess we just have to call it a tie." I said and sighed
"Yeah, I suppose." Noliee replied
"So, what do you what to do now?" Anna asked
"It's getting late! We have to go!" Jack said
"But there is so much stuff we didn't get to do!" Jackie protested
"We can come back tomorrow." Jack said and clapped his hands making everyone disappear
OoooO
Hehehe! I can't believe no one remembered who the sub was! Well anyway, I made a forum about the cheese castle! You should all go check it out and join!
http/ thecheeseturkey. take the space out or go to the link in my profile.