A/N: I know you've all been anxiously awaiting this chapter to see what Tyler has to say about everything he did with Mallory and the letter she sent him. Sorry it took me a little longer than I thought to get this out.

Tyllory lovers, thank you for all your support with every single chapter, I love you all.

TYLER

I haven't talked to her in a week.

I can't.

I won't allow myself.

Its dangerous.

I don't even allow myself to feel.

I can't. Not after what happened last time I saw her.

Every single fucking time I think about that day, those last minutes in her apartment, my heart just..burns. It feels like someone is punching me repeatedly in the stomach and sucking the air from my lungs.

I always end up punching things, throwing things or slamming doors. Anything to get out the anger and worthless feeling I have inside out of me. It never works.

I'm still angry about what she did. It bothers me to no end.

Part of me definitely hates her. Part of me definitely loves her.

I can't tell you which side is winning.

I'm sitting on the couch in my apartment, where I've spend most of my time since I last saw her and I feel the memories coming. One of the many I get throughout the day. I don't know what triggers them, they just happen. This one is becoming the worst. My brain has her words permanently burned into my brain.

"Tyler! " She screamed at me as I threw my clothes into a duffle.

I ignore her. It's so fucking hard. "Stop! Don't do this!"

I feel her standing behind me. "Please!" I am trying to hard to hold back the tears threatening my eyes. No. She lied, she cheated on you, she's not who she says she is. Don't let her see your weakness. Don't.

"Don't leave me, don't do this!" I could hear how scared she was, she was begging me to stay. I had to leave. Don't be a fucking pussy Tyler. Leave. Get out of here. You can't let her use you again.

I feel the tears streaming down my face. I was such an asshole. I treated her like shit. I don't even know who I was when I was there. I've never seen her like this, so vulnerable. She's always the one to put up the front, to do what I'm doing right now. I always hate when she does it. Maybe I've learned from her. Maybe that's where I'm getting it from.

"You can't leave me, you can't." She's going to try to block me, keep me here. I feel my guard go up instinctively. Mallory, it won't work.

This isn't like every other fight we've had. Or misunderstanding we've gone through.

This is her lying to me as if I'm nothing to her. Cheating on me as if I wouldn't care. What is that? How could that even be possible? I fucking told her I love her. Love her. I don't just fucking throw that around like its nothing. That meant something, it still does.

"Get out of the way, Mallory." I put so much effort into making my voice come off as hard as possible. Let me leave, Mallory. Don't fight this. It's over. We're done. Don't make this more difficult than it already is.

"No. I'm not letting you go, you can't do this to me." Her face is wet with tears that keep flowing down her face. They aren't stopping. Her eyes are so frightened. I'm breaking her. She's never going to forget this. She's been hurt in the past but even when she talks about that her eyes don't have the sadness they do now.

I'm leaving the one girl I love because I can't do this. I can't get hurt again. I wont allow it.

I've been used before and it never ends well. I need to break this off before it can get any worse.

I need to.

I silence the voice in my head telling me to forgive her. Telling me that I need to just hug her and soothe her worries. Tell her that I'm not going anywhere and that I want to be with her no matter what. No. That side of me is weak and exactly the reason that I'm in this mess.

She has always been my weakness but that is over with.

She can't break me down anymore.

She can't control me like she has since I met her.

The ties are cut.

It's done.

"You chose this. You did this. I'm not going to let you run away this time." I paused, letting that sink with her. She always was the one to leave me. She always let me freak out and wonder what I did wrong, how I could fix it. Not anymore. "I'm taking lesson from you now, I'm the one running away from you."

"I love you." I barely heard it but I knew what she said. My breathing stopped momentarily. Oh how much I wanted to hear those words from her. Now they mean nothing. Not in this context. "I love you, you can't leave me. I love you and you love me." Is that how she thinks this works? Because she loves me I'm supposed to fucking forget all the shit she's done. That's not logical. That's fucked up.

"You love me?" Still the hard voice from before.

"Yes, I love you. I think I always have." No. Stop. Don't say shit like that. You can't. You don't mean it. Its fake because you want me to stay.

But it's not. I can see it in her eyes that its not. It kills me because its not a lie. She's telling me the truth, she loves me. She finally fucking gets the courage and its too late.

I can't stay.

I can't do this. I need to get out of here and think.

"It's too late." I walked past her and left her in the doorway. I rummage around the living room, finding my things and shoving them into my bag. I can feel myself start to cry but I shove the feeling away. No. This is what I should do. This is what anyone in my situation would do. She fucked up. Theres only so much one person can take and I've had enough. I can't have someone keep fucking with me at every point in my life.

"Get out." She's barely holding herself up as she leans on the chair. She looks frail. I've done it. I broke her. What I thought would give me satisfaction is now making me sick. It doesn't matter though, she fucked me over. Literally.

But it's typical Mallory. Needing to be strong and dominant even in a time like this, a time when I know shes hurt. She's damaged beyond belief. Yet, she still needs to fight, still have the last word.

I take a deep breath.

Not this time.

"Gladly." I slam the door, as hard as I possibly can.

I feel so lost. I'm pissed the fuck off. I hate her for what she's done. I do.

I love her. I know that.

I just..

I can't forgive her.

It's like everything in our relationship has been a lie.

I don't know what else she's lied about.

I don't know what else has gone on.

I feel so in the dark about everything.

I'm not only questioning us, but me.

Standing outside her apartment punching the wall, over and over. That's where I broke. I wanted to go back inside, tell her I love her. I couldn't.

Now, It's been a week.

I've received phone calls.

She hasn't stopped by, luckily.

She hasn't tried to contact Aiden, but I'm not sure why she would.

Truthfully part of me is still surprised that she's still trying to talk to me at all. I treated her horribly, I know that. I don't know if I regret it though. Lies, deceit. Not easily forgotten.

When she calls and I see her name across the screen I feel split in two.

One part wants to throw the phone into the wall and break it into pieces, change my number, just be rid of her completely.

The other side of me wants her to keep calling, I want to know that she still wants me, that she's sorry.

I know I love her. I didn't stop loving her. My mind just can't reconcile with my heart in this situation. I feel used and played and naïve. I feel like the biggest idiot in the world.

I have four new voicemails. I know they're from her. I don't dare listen to them. I don't even want to go into my voicemail to delete them though because that doesn't feel right either. With my fucking self control I'd probably end up listening to them anyways, and I don't want to do that.

I just sit and stare at my phone screen. 4. Will she call again? Maybe in a few days? I don't know. The last call I got from her was two days ago.

I jump when I hear the door to the apartment open. Aiden walks in the apartment and throws some mail down on the counter in the kitchen. I hadn't moved from my spot on the couch all day. I had been so off at work this past week that Sal gave me some time off. I think he figured I'd cut a finger off or put something weird in the sauce if I stayed. Whatever.

Aiden and me hadn't been getting along this past week. It wasn't him, it was me. He was feeling the brunt of my frustration. He was the one that I would go off on when I would ignore one of Mallory's calls. He was the one I would yell at when I would see another voicemail pop up on my screen. I've been a total asshole this entire week and I know it.

I just cant change it.

I cant get myself out of this funk.

I can't shake the fact that I love Mallory and she screwed me.

I cant forget what shes done no matter how hard I try.

I hate that.

Aiden has tried to talk to me about it, tried to help me get through it. I ignore him. I wont talk about it. He doesn't know what happened. He thinks I just left her I guess. He must assume there is more since I am acting so harshly.

"You got a letter." He says very nonchalantly.

"Let me guess, Charles sent it?" He preferred to mail me things instead of call or actually meet up. I didn't care, I hated having to deal with him in any shape or form.

"No."

"He didn't?"

"Nope." He seems slightly nervous.

"Then who?"

"Mallory."

"Throw it away." Its my immediate reaction. I don't want something from her. I can't.

She wrote me a letter. My mind is trying to grasp that and it can't.

Why would she do that? It doesn't seem like something that she would do. She's not the letter writer. Then again I don't know if shes ever chased a guy or tried talking to him as much as she has with me this week. And I am ignoring her.

Trying to stay strong.

"Why?"

"I don't want to read it." That's partially true.

"You know what?"

"What?"

"Who the fuck cares what you want anymore, you've been an asshole all week. You've been worse than you were before you met her. If you wont read this letter then I will. Maybe she explains what the fuck happened since you won't talk to me about it. Then we can move on and be done with all this bull shit." Before I could stop him I saw him rip it open and unfold it. It looked like it was written on paper that had been ripped and crumpled.

My hands tightened into fists.

I wanted to kill him for looking at it, what could she have written in there?

I see his eyes scan it, back and forth over the paper. What does it say!

Its driving me insane.

I need to see it.

No.

I don't.

I can't.

I don't want to lose the control I have right now.

I can't lose it.

But what could she need to tell me so badly that she would write it in a letter?

"Wow." He whispered to himself. What the fuck! He looked up at me and back down at the letter, "You're an idiot." He placed it on the counter again and walked away.

He was doing it on purpose. He was tempting me, trying to get me to take the bait. Saying wow and leaving it on the counter. Open. Waiting for me to come and read it. Telling me I'm an idiot like there's something in there that's going to make me change my mind about ignoring her. Who did he think he was?

I walked towards the counter and grabbed the letter. I refuse to look at it. I can feel the texture of it in my hands, crumpled, old and once wet. She was probably crying as she wrote it.

I threw it in the trash.

I can't do it.

No.

It will hurt too much.

I need to sever the ties, right? That's what people do when they want to feel better, when they want to forget.

I opened the fridge and looked inside.

What am I even doing? Putting on an act for myself? I want to read it.. I don't want to read it.

So fucking conflicted, I'm sick of it.

"Fuck it." I mumble to myself, quickly snatching the letter from the trash. My eyes scan it and it has definitely seen some tears, you can see the marks where they landed, where she wiped them away. Her handwriting looks rushed and messy.

Tyler,

Please don't throw this away.

A/N: Tylers side of things can flip flop quite easily. His emotions are everywhere, his thoughts are fighting against each other. Can you relate? Have you ever had something happen where part of you wants one thing and part of you wants another?