Chapter 37 – Putting the Mind at Ease

To say the least, it had been a shock to the system. So much of a shock to the system had it caused, Chiri was the first one up the next day, full of energy to the point where she couldn't stand still or stop. Bouncing off the walls, she leapt out of her pyjamas, practically jumped and dived into her training clothes, quickly stuck her hair messily into her pigtails and almost fell out of her room, letting the door swing and unintentionally causing it to crack loudly against the doorstopper! Chiri flinched as the silence was abruptly ruined by the sound, almost as if a gunshot had gone off in the house. Adrenaline burst its way through her small frame and for good reason; seconds later she heard the tell-tale footsteps of her mother on the wooden floorboards of her parents' room. Anxious about being told off, Chiri hurriedly floated through the air and down the stairs, cautious not to wake her brother as she passed his bedroom door. Her feet touched the coolness of the wooden floor down the bottom of the stairs, now far more conscious of the noise she'd been making made her tiptoe across the living room and into the kitchen, still aware of the footsteps upstairs.

When Chichi made her way downstairs about ten minutes later, she found Chiri at the table settling into a small bowl of fruit their mother had picked yesterday (after checking it was all edible of course!). The woman was tempted to scowl at her youngest-born child but thought better of it; her daughter was no doubt excited to know Goku was going to train her today, whatever that was supposed to mean. Chichi had been reserved to the idea but recent talks with Gohan and recent observations of her daughter's mood told her to let it go this one time and let Goku train her. She didn't like the idea but couldn't deny her daughter – and her son – seemed to get something out of training with their father; if anything it was the only way they really seemed to bond with him.

"Good morning, Mother," Chiri smiled innocently as she momentarily looked away from her breakfast. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did, thank you for asking," Chichi was taken aback; since when did Chiri ask about how they slept? Something here seemed amiss; often she was too busy being absorbed in her own little world to inquire how everyone else was! "Did you sleep well?" Her mother probed, seeing what other differences she could spot in her daughter's mannerisms.

"Yup!" Ok, there it was. Back to her normal speech pattern, a little less informal and sounding a lot like her father! Chichi let out a small snort and shook her head, it had been too good to be true to have thought Chiri had suddenly taken a leaf out of Gohan's book and had learnt how to use her manners at all times! She was often polite to visitors and friends, up to a point where they seemed to cross the line from acquaintances to close friendship. Once they crossed that line, her speech became much more informal and relaxed, less polite so to speak. The only exception was with Chichi herself though that was likely because Chichi was the one installing politeness into her children! The only other exception was when Chiri was about to ask for something her parents couldn't give her or afford.

Soon Goku rose, scratching his head and almost howling as a great yawn escaped from his mouth. He'd managed to get changed this morning instead of wandering into the kitchen in nothing but his underwear and on some other days, less than that. It had caused an embarrassed cry from his daughter along with a scolding from his wife to get Goku out of that old habit! Today was a long day and so Goku had bothered to get dressed into his training uniform. Not long after he'd settled down at the table and Chichi had served up the first of many servings of breakfast, Gohan appeared, also dressed in his training attire. Soon all the family sat around the table and tucked into their breakfast, a feast of rices, barley and cereal dishes stacked rather tightly in the centre of the table. It was going to be a long, tiring day.

The sun was over the tips of the mountains which rose in sharp, violent angles from the ground, piercing the skies with their rugged peaks. Below one of these towering formations, Son Goku had led both his children and was now beginning his training exercises with them. "Ok, once you've stretched all the muscles in your body, I'll give you both your first mission." He instructed whilst his children continued their warm-up routines – which quickly came to a halt. Eyeing them both up and sensing they were both just as eager to begin, he continued, "I want you both to climb up to the top of this mountain without using any ki manipulation – that is, just use your arms and legs to get you up to the top."

"So no flying?" Chiri wanted to clarify. She thought she knew what ki manipulation was but wasn't too sure if she was right. The nod from her father told her that her suspicions had been correct and she smiled proudly!

"Should I stay as a Super Saiyan, Father?" Gohan asked.

"Yeah, stay as a Super Saiyan. This should hopefully be an easy warm-up for the two of you," Goku responded, raising one arm up into the air. "Ok, once you get to the top, you have to climb back down again without using ki. I want you to climb and not jump down, alright?"

"This is gonna be too easy!" Chiri grinned, sizing up the large rock formation that stood before them, confident she could do this without breaking a sweat."

Goku's smile crooked a little, "Once you reach the ground, I want you to repeat the process nineteen more times, so you should climb up and down the mountain twenty times."

Perhaps she'd spoken a little too soon. Chiri felt a little wave of cold sweep over her body as her task had just been made a lot bigger and tougher than she'd anticipated! Still, she was certain she could do this though it may take a lot more out of her than originally thought. She wasn't going to let the nerves get the better of her, especially since her father was going to train her properly after they'd done this!

"Alright. On your marks… Get set…"

Both Gohan and Chiri lowered themselves into starting positions and kept their eyes peeled on the rocks before them, ready to dash forward as quickly as they could on their father's signal. Though neither said anything, there was a hint of sibling rivalry brewing, both wanted to beat the other and complete the mission before them. The lack of eye contact only served to show how serious they were.

"… Go!"

Chiri bolted forwards, using her arms to propel her forwards and gain a lead. Quickly they swung out in front of her as she kicked off with her right leg, gaining a secure grip on one of the foundation boulders and bringing herself skywards, throwing her entire body up the side of the mountain face. She couldn't see where Gohan was though she was sure she could make out a blonde and purple mass just below and to her right. Not daring to let her concentration up the mountain be hindered, she bolted up higher and higher, her nails scratching into the rocky exterior as she forced herself further up the mountain face. Her arms were moving as quickly as she could make them, no part of her body burning with the effort just yet as the adrenaline hit, her heart pounding quickly to keep the oxygen pumping to every organ and muscle she was using.

There was a point just above her where the rocks jutted out a little; she'd either have to climb around them or jump and haul herself over it. Climbing around would be the quicker route, she decided, though she'd make sure to give her brother the room he needed… or should she? She wanted to beat him so shouldn't she cut across his path and slow him down that way? It was a tempting thought, very tempting…

Down below at the bottom of the masa, Goku was watching the two dots as they became smaller and smaller. If he'd been totally honest with himself, he'd have admitted he was a little disappointed that a particular child of his had apparently gone all-out and not paced themselves well, unless of course he'd underestimated that child in the first place!

Soon they began to descend once more. Chiri found the descent a little more difficult because of the challenges it faced. Getting down should be a lot easier because of gravity but she found herself, more often than not, trying to keep her grip without losing speed. On the odd occasion, she slipped down the side of the rocks before managing to gain control, earning a few small cuts along the way. Finally she reached the bottom; only nine more climbs to go. Looking up to the skies again, she could see Gohan wasn't far off her heels; not wanting to lose her advantage, she drove herself back up the stack, this time determined to make her ascent and descent quicker than the first time. By the time she was hitting her eighth attempt up and down, she could feel the burn settling in as her muscles began to work overtime. Her mind was not so easily persuaded and she continued on up and down the rocks. Eventually hitting her seventeenth ascent, she was now breathing noticeably hard and her fingers felt as if they were battered and cut up, her nails jagged and sharpened by the solid surface of the wall she was climbing. Her final ascent was the toughest she'd done, ignoring the cries from her limbs to slow down as they burned and juddered, determined to tell her to slow down. Reaching the peak, Chiri glanced down and almost stopped. She could see two figures down below, standing a little ways back from the rock she'd climbed.

Gohan was finished? How? When had he slipped past her? She could have sworn she was still ahead of him…

The descent was sloppy but with one final jump down, Chiri struck the ground – her legs buckled from underneath and she fell to the side, launching her hands out just in time for them to take the brunt of the fall. It had caused enough concern for Gohan to rush over, "Are you alright, Chiri?" Kneeling down beside her, he offered a hand to help get her back up. Chiri swatted it away and grumbled under her breath, her face reddening a little as she got herself back onto her feet.

"You sure you're ok? That looked like it hurt," Gohan was persistent.

"I'm fine," She snapped, realising just how much annoyance was apparent in her voice and sheepishly looking down at her feet. Her soles were stinging from the impact but she wasn't going to let on. If anything she was more annoyed that Gohan seemed to be showing no signs of fatigue where as she was standing with her shoulders rising and falling!

"Right, let's go straight onto your next mission," Goku wasn't wasting any time. "See how fast you can fly around the world and try to beat your previous records. Do you both remember those?"

Chiri strained her memory. If she recalled correctly it was something like three hours and thirty-two minutes…

Seeing she was a little preoccupied, Goku quickly knelt down to his son's ear, "Keep pace with Chiri for me, ok?"

Gohan nodded obediently, resisting the urge to ask his father what he was up to. He'd expected something a little different from what they were doing at the moment but he didn't want to question his father's methods, or at least he'd learnt to just go with the flow. These past few days had sledgehammered that lesson home to him.

"Ok, on your marks… get set… Go!"

Chiri threw herself off the ground and up into the air, her aura flashing around her blindingly until her ki settled to a stable place. As the mountains vanished below her belly, she found Gohan was flying just as fast as her. Was he mocking her or something? He could fly faster than that!

"I'll keep pace with you," He called over the howling winds, having noticed the quizzical look she was giving him. "I shouldn't really be trying to beat my fastest time if I'm a Super Saiyan."

"Why not? You'd be faster," Chiri pointed out. Honestly she wanted to be left alone for the moment and have the time to gather her thoughts and her dignity.

"I'd be faster because of this transformation, not because I've gotten better," Gohan explained. "If Dad wants me to stay in this form then I can't jump out of Super Saiyan just for this time trial. I'll try and beat it another time when I don't have to stay in this form."

It made sense on some level but she wasn't totally convinced this was the only reason he was not taking this seriously. With a grunt she shifted her eyes away from him and focused on what lay ahead. She had to beat three and a half hours.

Watching them until they vanished into the distance, Goku wandered back towards the mesas he'd gotten the two to climb earlier and began to climb them himself, feeling perhaps he ought to set the same rules for himself as for his children! Quickly reaching the top with minimal effort, he sat himself down cross-legged upon the peak, folded his arms and closed his eyes, heightening his other senses for a moment before deliberately manipulating his mind. He was certain they wouldn't keep him waiting for too long but there was no sense standing and waiting for them to return when he could be using his time more wisely. So whilst they were trying to better Chiri's record, he would spend his time meditating. The minutes drifted by far quicker a pace compared to the fluffy white clouds above that occasionally shielded him from the sun's rays, only to eventually wander towards the horizon, letting the sun once again bathe him in its warmth. It wasn't long until even the dance between shade and warmth left his awareness; his mind now free of all awareness of thought. All that was there was the inner well of power within him being tempered and shaped to become more resilient, more refined and more accessible. The outside world was shut out, almost as if he were in fact sitting in a blank world with no one but himself as company, nothing to sense, nothing to grow concerned over, and nothing to disturb him.

To say he hadn't noticed her eyes piercing him again would be a lie. Even whilst he was facing dead ahead, Gohan could sense Chiri's gaze and it was making him a little uncomfortable. He wasn't sure why she'd be staring at him so much but he wished she would stop. Didn't she know how uncomfortable it was making him? "… You should face ahead so you don't fly into anything accidentally, like last time."

Chiri instinctively glance away having been caught, though her gaze went from right to left instead of listening to her brother's advice! "I-I wasn't... It's just that I was gonna ask something…" She began to mutter quietly under her breath, still embarrassed she'd been so obvious with her observations on him.

"What is it?" Gohan caught the hesitation in her voice, growing worried that perhaps there was something bothering her. "You can tell me."

Chiri was indeed hesitant. Why was she so reluctant to ask him about it? It wasn't that bad a thing to talk about, even if it did make her feel like she was asking for some help. She hated asking people for help – not because she was adamant that she never would ever need help from others (though a part of her was reluctant to even acknowledge this), it was more because she didn't like to impose on others. She felt that asking for someone's help was dragging them away from something they'd rather be doing, almost as if she wasn't worthy of their time. Whilst she didn't feel as bad asking her family for help whenever she needed it, it still made her feel uncomfortable and as if she were being a pain by asking.

"How did you do it?" She finally asked. "How did you turn into a Super Saiyan for the first time?"

"Oh…" Gohan was relieved. She was acting as if she'd done something bad or was about to ask him something embarrassing. "It wasn't easy. I had a lot of help from Dad; he's the one who told me what to do and how to feel. It's hard to explain."

"I'll understand," Chiri offered, wanting to hear his explanation. It hadn't gone past her notice just how calm her dad and Gohan's energies were compared to any other Super Saiyan transformation she'd seen. Normally the wielder of the form's ki felt restless and at times, scary. The dramatic difference in her brother and father's energy was difficult to believe for anyone who'd sensed the feel of the transformation before; theirs was so calm, tame and yet seemed to control a vast powerhouse of ki, feeling intimidating and yet reassuring at the same time. How had they managed to do that? Then again, getting closer to her point, how had Gohan managed to get this far in his training so he could aquire the Super Saiyan state and control it so well? Their father had been able to transform into this state for as long as she could remember and yet she never recalled his ki feeling anywhere near this calm up until they came out of that strange room. He'd achieved this within four years or so Chiri thought; her brother had done it in the space of nine months (though it hadn't occurred to her that just because they'd spent the equivalent of nine months in that room, it didn't necessarily mean Gohan had transformed right away and had spent those nine months mastering it. In reality, he'd done it in far shorter a time.)

"Well," Gohan started, trying to find the words for her to understand as best she could, "It's very emotion-driven. You have to have felt a real sense of loss and helplessness to even try and tap into the transformation, plus it has to come from a need; you can't do it through just wanting to transform."

"A need?" Chiri repeated, "… You mean like if you need something rather than you want something? I thought they were the same thing…"

Gohan couldn't help but snort: trust a six-year-old child to come to that conclusion. Even he'd understood the difference between the two at her age. "They're similar but they're not the same."

"What's the difference?" Chiri asked.

"Well... um... A need is something you really, really have to do," Gohan explained, "it could be something you don't want to do but you just have to do it."

"Like when you're watching the television and you need to go to the toilet but you don't want to because you'll miss what you're watching?" Chiri offered optimistically as an example.

"Not the example I would have chosen but yes," Her brother nodded. "That's an example of something you need to do… and you should really go when you need to go."

"I do go when I need to go," Chiri grumbled indignantly. Her mood quickly changed as there was still something missing from his explanation. "So what's a want then?"

"That's the easier one to explain," Gohan smiled surprised she had to ask, "A want is where you, well, you want something. You don't necessarily need it but you'd like something. I guess an example of that would be that penguin toy which had the utility belt and cape that you wanted for your birthday. You wanted it but you didn't need it."

"I did too need it," Chiri pouted, "I needed it really badly!" The toy in question had a feature where the utility belt would shine a small light to make midnight bathroom visits less scary, though she wasn't about to admit that to him. Anyway, it was cute and her favourite colour: what more reason did she need in order to get it?

"Not as much as you needed those new shoes Mother got you instead," Gohan reminded her. "You only had one pair of shoes before that and you'd trashed them. That's another example of something you needed; if Mother hadn't bought you them, you'd have wet feet every time you splashed in a puddle or whenever it rained. If anything she wouldn't have even let you wear them."

"I needed that penguin more," Chiri grumbled adamantly, refusing to acknowledge how right her brother really was while he in turn chose to ignore her muttering. Putting her thoughts about the loss of the penguin and not wanting to head down the depressing road of what will happen now her birthday had passed (thus eliminating her chance of getting it entirely because she came from a relatively skimpy household when it came to money!), she dug deeper into her brother's wisdom. "What did you need when you transformed?"

"It's hard to remember," Gohan paused to think, unintentionally slowing their pace down dramatically though it wasn't as if Chiri minded. This was now far more interesting to her since she had an inkling of a feeling today wasn't going to be the training she'd thought it'd be. If she could learn the secrets of being able to be a Super Saiyan, perhaps then there was no way her mother or father could tell her she couldn't take part in the Cell Games.

"I was trying to fend off one of Father's Kamehameha," Gohan explained. "I remember having to force him to use a lot more power because he didn't want to hurt me but it was the only way; you can't help someone become a Super Saiyan if you're not going to put them in danger and force them into a corner… What I mean is," he'd noticed the perplexed expression she was wearing, "you have to make them feel like they don't have any choice. Dad found it really difficult to do this but he managed it; he fired off a really powerful Kamehameha at me in his Super Saiyan form; I had to block it otherwise I'd have been badly injured." He wasn't about to tell her the attack could have done far worse than hurt him. "I imagined what would happen if I didn't push myself to fend off his attack, if I didn't try to do what I could to protect everyone. I had to be stronger for everyone if I didn't want to lose them. It was that need to protect everyone along with the need to deflect Father's attack that helped me to transform."

"… Not being able to protect everyone sucks," Chiri sighed. That had hit a nerve and rang similar to feeling she knew very well indeed. "I couldn't protect Yamcha from being killed."

Gohan was quick to console her, "That wasn't your fault. There wasn't anything you could have done to have stopped that from happening. Don't blame yourself for that."

"I wish there had been something I could have done," Chiri responded honestly. "Do you think I could have been more helpful if I was a Super Saiyan? Maybe I could have been faster and gotten to Korin's and back before Cell killed him. I wish I could be a Super Saiyan!"

"Wishing and needing aren't the same thing, remember," Gohan smiled tiredly. "A wish is more like a want."

"But what if I say 'I wish for the strength to protect everyone?'" Chiri asked.

"Nope, still a want I'm afraid."

"Aww… So I can't ask the dragon for that?"

"I don't think he'd be able to grant that wish…" Gohan responded, amused by the thought. "Why would you want to make a wish from the Dragonballs to get it? I'm sure if you tried hard enough and had the right training, you'd be able to become a Super Saiyan in time."

"Do you mean that?"

"Yeah."

Chiri looked down and contemplated the idea. It sounded so farfetched to her; how could she be able to become a Super Saiyan? It didn't seem possible to her, surely she'd have to be far, far, far stronger than she currently was? Then there was all that needing and not being able to want or wish for it. How was she going to make it clear she needed it and didn't want it? Would she have to say she didn't want it three times or something? It baffled her how she could need something and not want it… how was that possible?

Gohan observed his little sister as her face slowly contorted and wrinkled at the brow, her cheeks puffing out and reddening. A small snort tried to escape but he kept it in. "… What's got you thinking so hard? You'll look like a tomato soon if you're not careful."

"I don't understand how you can need something but not want it all at once," Chiri pouted. "It sounds the same but you said it isn't and now I'm confused because they are the same thing. It makes my head hurt!"

"Don't worry about it for now," Gohan suggested. "Come on, we're behind on our flying. We'll have to fly really fast now if you wanna beat your record." He ushered her to follow and made a start, pushing himself through the air with relative ease. She didn't follow; it wasn't until he'd almost became a dot in the distance to her that he noticed she wasn't behind him. She didn't make any attempt to follow. What was wrong? Gohan turned and floated back towards her, shouting as he approached, "Come on, Chiri. Dad's waiting for us to get back. He'll be wondering what's keeping us."

"I got a better idea," Chiri called, lowering her voice as her brother landed before her and walked over. "Let's not do this fast flying thing anymore. I think you should train me how to become a Super Saiyan."

Gohan's eyes widened a little at the prospect, a wave of nausea striking him as his body was swept over by an ominous pressure. He took one cautious step forward, reading his sister's reactions with accuracy and detail so as to analyse the best way to go about this. He train her to become a Super Saiyan? He'd meant it when he'd said he was sure Chiri could very possibly harness the power but he'd assumed it'd be years down the line! She wanted him to train her right now? Had he somehow swayed her expectations and made her think it was easier than it really was? Whatever he decided, he would have to act fast. The gap was closing rapidly; if he left a reaction for too long, he would rouse the beast. Every moment wasted thinking would bring them rapidly closer to the moment where she'd begin to make assumptions, something which was bad for the peace between them.

His mind worked speedily, coming up with thousands of suggestions until one reached his consciousness and passed the plausible test. "… Wouldn't you rather learn that from our Father?" He inquired. Anything to get him out of being the one having to incur and endure that fury, even if he could handle it! He felt guilty about pushing their father into the conversation but it wasn't like he was in her good books right now. If anything it would allow for them to rebuild their strained relationship, even if one of them seemed to have little idea just how bad it was getting.

Chiri contemplated the suggestion, eyes focused on the grass between them. Gohan wished she'd have spent more time thinking about it than she did as all too soon, her head popped back up and their gaze met. "I don't wanna be trained by Dad anymore."

This was news to him! "You don't? Why not?" Gohan spluttered, panic stirring as his plausible escape from this situation began to slip away.

"Dad doesn't wanna train me seriously, like he does with you," Chiri answered straight-faced. "I think I should learn from you instead, 'cause you was the one who started to train me when I was little."

"That was completely different to what you're asking me to do," Gohan was quick to explain. "Training to become a Super Saiyan takes a lot of time - something we don't have. It's so much harder than learning to control your ki and learning to fly. I'm not even sure if I'd be the best teacher for you too: I've only just learnt how to do it myself."

"Aww come on, Gohan. Please?" Chiri begged. A moment of genius hit her.

Gohan noticed the sly smile creeping across her face; it made him feel edgy. "What?" He asked suspiciously.

"If it's time you're saying we don't have much of, we can go into that room you and Dad went in," Chiri grinned. "You did it in the day you were in there so surely that must give us all the time we need!"

It was as if his will to find flaws in her usually flaw-laden plans had decided to leave him. He couldn't see them, usually they would be staring him right in the face. She'd got him and there wasn't a thing he could suggest which would put her off this smart but badly-timed realisation! Memories of hardships within that room rose to the surface, he recalled how difficult the conditions made everything, how much harder doing the most basic of things were. A spark ignited; keep going with this trail of thought, he told himself…

Chiri beamed, satisfied by the silence, "You have no choice, big bro. You have to take me into that room because it will give us time, then I can be a Super Saiyan and be stronger!"

"There's just one thing," Gohan retorted, an identical, sly smile creeping over his face as he raised one hand, index finger fully extended to the sky. "If we were to go into that room, we'd have to spend an entire day there. Mother and Father will notice we're gone and will worry, so we'll need to tell them where we are going."

His will to find flaws must have realised it was needed, and had returned as quickly as it could. Gohan could almost see the cogs going around in her head as she attempted to find a defence to this dilemma, knowing her she wouldn't want wind of this getting back to their parents, especially since they'd already decided she couldn't take part in the Cell Games. It wasn't something they could casually lie about either; that room was strictly for intensive training of sorts and the moment their father would hear of her desire to step foot in that room, he would instantly suss her out and surely put a stop to it. It wasn't that Gohan didn't want his sister to not be allowed to train, not at all. It just wasn't his call whether or not she could train in that room, or train to be a Super Saiyan; that ultimately belonged to their parents. It would be better for her if they were upfront about her plan than try to sneak around undetected.

"…Do we really have to tell them?" Chiri whined, shoulders slumping as her brows knotted in defeat and frustration.

"You know we have to," Gohan calmly nodded. "Come on, the quicker we get back home, the quicker we can ask. If Dad says we can use the Room of Spirit and Time then I'll help you become a Super Saiyan."

"You're only saying that because you think Dad won't let us," Chiri growled, stomping her feet deliberately against the ground as her brother took to the skies, her close behind. She could see through his ruse, he was betting on their father saying no. Well she hoped he'd say yes, not only because it would mean she could train to become something far greater, but also to see the look of horror on her brother's face!