I really appreciate, all your comments and reviews, whether on here or twitter. Thank you. And thank you to all the people that have been so supportive the last few days. You're amazing people.
Apologies for the random 3am update the other day, I hope it wasn't too messy and all over the place. I woke up with a head full of ideas and had to get it down, even if I was half asleep. Enjoy!

Arizona's POV
The car ride back to my house, is silent. Eliza, fast asleep next to me in the passenger seat. I'm kind of glad of that right now. I need the space. I need the time to sort my mind out. If I had just given her what she needed, she wouldn't be drunk and I wouldn't be feeling guilty about the fact she's drunk. I could have helped her, but my own, internal conflicts, got in the way. I don't agree with her wanting to have used me, but that, its preferable to what could have happened.

Tears begin to well up, the fear of my girlfriend doing something stupid, hitting me. Something like shooting up, or looking for someone else to forget with, or even getting so drunk she was taken advantage of. Me, being used, would have been the last thing on my mind, if I'd even considered those outcomes. But I hadn't. They hadn't even crossed my mind, until I saw her sat on that bench. The sadness, vulnerability, written all over her.

A tear spilling from my eye, trickling down my cheek, in reaction to all the 'what ifs' running around my head. Eliza's hand touching my arm, causing me to flinch. I could have sworn she was asleep. Passed out drunk even, but apparently, she's awake. Awake and very aware of my emotions, that are clear all over my face. My girlfriends thumb, stroking my arm softly. I stay silent, concentrating on the road. Keeping my mind, as busy as I can, considering.

"Hi." Eliza finally breaks the silence around us. Glancing at her briefly, I smile.

"Hi, yourself." I say back. Trying to sound enthusiastic. But really, right now, I'm not, not in the slightest.

"You ok?" Eliza asks me, her voice laced with concern.

"Yeah, you?" I return the concern. Not giving her any indication that I am even remotely not ok right now. I need her to know I'm here for her.

"Uh, yeah, maybe. I think so." My eyebrow raising at Eliza's response. Giving her a small 'Mmmm' to acknowledge what she just said. She obviously isn't ok. I just wish she'd talk to me. The silence falling over us again.

"I'm sorry, Arizona. Really I am." I just nod, as much as I feel bad for letting Eliza be by herself, right now I'm angry. Angry that she would go and drink, by herself. Assuming she was by herself. My mind suddenly going into overdrive. What if Eliza wasn't alone, what if she was 'forgetting' with someone else. Bringing my car to a sudden stop in the middle of the road. My hands gripping the steering wheel. My knuckles, white. My face, I'm sure, is flushed. My eyes, filling with tears. I can't even bring myself to look at my girlfriend right now.

"Arizona, what's going on?" Eliza asks. My hand coming up, off of the steering wheel, to silence her. I know, she's probably very confused right now. I am too. I can't believe I'm even contemplating, that she would cheat on me. But something in my head, has led me to this feeling. I can't even bring myself to speak right now. I want to tell Eliza how I'm feeling but, I can't.

"Arizona, please, talk to me." Eliza begs. I know if I don't say something soon, she'll get out of the car. She'll start walking. I keep pushing her away, when she needs me most, and I know, she needs support now. Not to be pushed away. My girlfriend reaching for the door handle. It's now or never, I either let her walk, or I get my head out of my ass and face up to whatever shit storm is coming my way.

Grabbing Eliza's hand, she freezes. Her face trained on mine, my gaze drawn to my hand on hers. The silence between us, deafening. I want to talk to her, I just don't know how. She has enough going on right now, without my own insecurities. Eliza is the first one to speak. I can't bring my mouth to form words.

"You know, that patient today, Andrew Thomas. He is the guy, the one Teresa made me sleep with for her entertainment. I recognised the name, but I didn't put it together until later on. Until I started drinking." My eyes, coming to meet my girlfriends for the first time since we got into the car. The shock, clear. I can't believe she managed to even treat the man that did that to her. She's stronger than I thought. Stronger than I could ever know, or understand.

"Eliza." It's all I can manage, my voice shaky, quiet, dumbstruck.

"Arizona, it's ok, I'm ok, or I will be, as long as I have you, I will be. I want to work through this, without wanting to drink, without wanting to disappear and do, god knows what." Eliza takes a deep breath, and I know she is considering, just how much she can tell me, before I run. Trying to gauge my reaction, my face blank, my hand still on hers. My own concerns about her cheating, using someone else to forget, gone.

"Teresa would hold me down. Two of them, against me. He would handcuff me to the bed. Then, yeah, I'd be in no position to fight back. They'd shoot me up, get me to relax, and do whatever they wanted to me. Whilst I was so far out of it, I had no idea. It would only be after, when the pain started coming back, the feeling, when I'd know, I'd feel... Everything." My girlfriend's expression, it's something I've never seen on her face before. Just, blank, empty. It's weird. It's unusual. Eliza usually wears her heart on her sleeve. Her feelings, obvious. But right now, right now she's so far shut down, even I can't believe it.

Pulling Eliza into my body, I hold her. I'm glad she is opening up. Yes, it hurts, and it's shocking, but she needs to let it out. It's not good to bottle up that amount of pain. I know, I've always been good at bottling things up, but in the end, it breaks you. I'm glad she's talking, and I'm glad it's to me and not some stranger in a bar, that could take advantage of her. She's clearly in a vulnerable state. And it's understandable. And I'm here for all of it, the pain, the heartache, the passion, the love. All of it.

Sorry about the delay in updating. Some of you know and understand what has been going on. Sometimes, life gets in the way. I hope you enjoyed the update. Hit review please, I'm needing all the love I can get right now. Much love guys x