I was totally taken back by how she looked. Her skin had lost its light brown luster and looked chalky and drawn in. I listened to her breath waiting to hear her familiar squeaks and see her lips twitch in unison with her smile but she gave me none of that. She was looking thin and tired and our once Top Dog was looking about as stable as I felt... I'd never understood her more than I did in that moment. She watched me watching her and sniffled loudly before pulling at the end of her nose and finally speaking quietly and pointedly. "Red I fucked up... I fucked up bad... I'm rooted and I'm scared I stuffed everything up for Bridget and Stellar too..."

I remembered when this was the other way around. When she came to me in medical and tried hard to talk to me, make sense of everything and I was just trying to move through the motions. I had promised Gidge i'd watch over her, take care of her for awhile before I had to go back to my cell and I was determined to shove the stubborn out of her for even the duration of our visit. I wanted to make her eat something, or at least drink. I poured water into the cup and walked toward her. She turned her face away from me . "No Red please, if I get better in here I'll get released and Gidge will never get to see me..." She scrunched her nose up hard trying to inch herself away from my cup of water on the bed. I teared up looking at her, she was so young and somehow I had never really noticed that. Friendship transcends the difference in age but in that moment she reminded me of Debbie and how determined she was at 14 to stay out of school so she could be with me after I had jaw surgery. I knew what I needed to do. "Okay, okay Franky please just sit up for me." I put my arm behind her shoulders and lifted her lightly.

"Franky, I understand what you're trying to do... and I'm not going to let you do this. Not to yourself, not to me, not to Stella, not to Bridget... Okay? Drink the fuckin water so she can look at you without thinking she's going to break you." She moved her mouth to protest but stopped dead still when we noticed Vera in the doorway peering in. I jumped enough to spill some of the water in her lap. "Shit Red Vinegar Tits is watching you..." I just nodded keeping my eyes on Vera as I lifted the water to Franky's mouth. She pursed her lips hard as it touched her mouth but swallowed obediently. Vera nodded to me before walking away and Bridget walked in closing the door hard behind us. "What the fuck is she playing at..." Franky spattered sending water flying off her lips as she spoke. "I don't know Baby but I promise you I'm going to find out..." Ms. Westfall said softly as she motioned for me to leave the room. For the first time in 3 years I felt a little bit like a mom again and I had my friend back too... I smiled as I went back to my cell ready to sketch for the first time in months...