A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers.
Chapter 37
It felt like weights were holding down his eyelids. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't make them open. Couldn't escape the cold darkness that seemed to surround him. Somewhere on the edge of his awareness he felt a dull stab of pain. A sweet melody reached his ears though he couldn't say where it came from. He fought to open his to find the source of the music. A warm hand encompassed one of his and he knew almost instinctively who it belonged to he recognized the touch without seeing the face that went with it. He allowed himself to relax and to stop fighting the sleep that was trying to overtake him. He knew that he was safe.
When he finally opened his eyes he couldn't say how much time had passed. The only thing he knew for sure was he still felt the same hand enclosing his. It took a minute for his eyes to adjust and he could make out a mane of strawberry blonde hair next to him.
"Hi, baby, it's so good to see you with your eyes open. You've been trying so hard to wake up since they brought you out of surgery an hour ago. The antiesthetic hit you pretty hard, but everything went really well and you're gonna be just fine." Rayna threaded her fingers through his.
"I'm alive? I didn't die?" Deacon's voice was raspy from the tube they'd stuck down it during surgery.
"You're still alive you're still here, baby. You were more scared than you let on weren't you?" She bent down and kissed his lips softly. She needed something good to focus on right now with everything else going to hell around her.
"Was scared I was gonna leave you alone. Where my girls?" His eyes searched the room for Maddie and Daphne.
"Sugar, that was never gonna happen. They are still in the waiting room. I'll get them for you in just a minute. Everyone came by to wait while you were in surgery and they wanted me to tell you to get well soon." She brushed her thumb across his cheek. She was gonna try to avoid going too in depth about anything for as long as she could.
"Outlaw and Rebel?" He used his nicknames for Little Deacon and Jaymes.
"They are fine I will Facetime them for you once you're a little more alert." She promised him.
"Can I see the girls?" He asked hopefully.
"Of course you can, babe. Let me go get them for you." She kissed his forehead before she walked out. Once she was out of the room she took a deep breath and let her brave face slip. She just had to hold things together for a little while longer.
Daphne was curled into Tandy's side tearstains streaking her face. Maddie sat next to JC who had his arm around her.
"Girls, Deacon is asking for you. I know that you're both really upset right now, but I need you to be strong for him right now. He's confused and I will explain things to him later just the two of us." Rayna gestured for the girls to come over to her. "Can you do that for me?"
"Yeah, mom, I can do that." Maddie agreed.
Daphne nodded her head stoically.
"Scarlett, do you wanna come see your uncle? He specifically asked for his girls." Rayna asked her.
"I can't right now he will take one look at me and he will know somethin' is wrong. I can't lie to him because he always knows." Scarlett shook her head.
"It's ok, sweetie, I'll make an excuse for you. He can read me just as well as I can read him though." Rayna reassured her.
"Hi, girls," Deacon winced. He tried to sit up and his stitches pulled.
"Deacon John, you need to be careful you don't want to bust your sutures." Rayna scolded him.
"Aren't you girls gonna come give me some sugar?" He asked.
"I'm glad you're ok, dad." Maddie kissed his cheek.
Daphne kissed his other cheek. "Get well soon, Deacon."
"Mom, we are gonna go back to the waiting room ok?" Maddie said. She just couldn't pretend for her dad.
"Go on, he's fine. I'll let you know the minute anything changes." Rayna replied.
Maddie guided Daphne out of the room.
"Ray, what's goin' on with them? They both looked really sad." He had picked up on their dark mood.
"Honey, not now, ok? I will explain everything to you later, but right now I want to concentrate on making sure you're ok." She leaned over and rested her forehead against his. "I am so glad that you're ok. You're my rock and I need you now more than ever." She swallowed around a lump in her throat.
"Rayna, tell me what's wrong or I'm gonna get my sore, old ass up out of this bed and find out for myself." He put his foot down.
"There's a lot going on today. Not the least of which is Teddy got arrested I promise I will fill you in on the rest later when it's just the two of us." She told him as little as she had to for the moment.
"Somehow after hooker gate this doesn't surprise me at all." He sighed.
"Babe, please rest and I will be right back. I have to go check on the girls. I think I'm gonna send them home. I just want to know that they are safe and out of the public eye." She ran her hands through her hair.
"Ok, I'll get some rest. Come back when you can baby. I'll be here." He gave her the grin that she loved.
"Come here, you look like you could use another hug." JC pulled Maddie into a big hug when she walked back into the waiting room.
"Thanks, I don't know what I would do without you sometimes." She rested her head on his shoulder.
"You won't ever have to find out. I'm here for you any time that you need me and you know that." He rubbed her back.
"Maddie!" Colt exclaimed as he rushed into the room.
Maddie pulled out of JC's embrace a guilty look on her face. "Colt, you came."
Colt pulled her into his arms. He glared at JC over her shoulder. "Of course I came. I had my dad bring me as soon as I heard. I'm so sorry about your dad." He held on to her possessively.
"Maddie, I'm headin' to grab a soda. Do you want or need anythin' while I'm goin'?" JC asked her. He put his hand on her shoulder in comforting gesture.
"No, I'm good, thank you." Maddie shook her head.
"I've got it from here. You can go now." Colt told him.
"My godfather is layin' up in a hospital bed. All due respect, but I'm not goin' anywhere until I see him." JC was polite enough, but there was a hard undertone in his voice.
"JC, sweetie, can you bring Daphne something to drink?" Tandy stepped in to keep those two from coming to blows.
"Of course I can. Do you want anything?" JC asked her.
"Yeah, bring me something too please." Tandy smiled at him. She could see how bad he had it for her niece. Truthfully she preferred him to Colt, but that was something Maddie had to figure out for herself.
Luke stood off at the edge of the waiting room.
"Luke, what are you doing here?" Rayna walked back from Deacon's room.
"Colt heard about what's goin' on with Teddy and he wanted to come be here for Maddie." He explained.
"I'm actually glad you're here that saves me from having to track you down. You and I need to have a talk." She told him.
"I figured that was comin'." He winced.
"Come with me we aren't doing this publically." She grabbed his arm and dragged him off to a private room.
"Ok, lay it on me." He crossed his arms over his chest.
"First of all you and I have a contract regarding Will opening for you. You have no good reason for dropping him and you damn sure can't drop him just because he's gay. There are federal laws against that. Not only can I sue you for breach of contract he can sue you for discrimination." She blasted him right out of the gate.
"It's not personal it's just business. I doubt that my fan base is gonna be ok with a gay man openin' for me. I can't afford for ticket sales to take a hit because of it. I have a brand new label that I'm tryin' to get off the ground. You of all people can understand that." He reasoned with her.
"It sounds pretty damn personal if you ask me. The gay ain't gonna rub off on you, Luke." She arched her eyebrow at him. "You wanna talk about this being business. It's just gonna be business when I sue your ass for lost revenue. I have a label that I'm trying to keep afloat too."
"The label that would have crashed and burned months ago if you hadn't been with me. Everythin' that you have today you owe to me. When I got with you, you were mortgaged to the gills, had an album that you couldn't give away, and a career that was on the ropes. You got your six statues outta the deal turns out you didn't need my seven carats. Jeff has a point maybe I should demand a DNA test just to make sure that those boys aren't mine. Wouldn't be the first time you lied about the father of your child." He flared. He still held on to more than a little resentment over their broken engagement.
"If that's how you feel then I guess I really dodged a bullet by not marrying you. That would be about the worst mistake you ever made in your life. Those are Deacon's sons they look just like him you or anyone else who think he isn't their father is crazy. That's not what this is about though. As far as the whole Juliette thing goes she is my artist and she still has a legally binding contract with me. I'm not releasing her masters to you without a fight. I will take your ass to court and sue you for poaching my artists." She shot back.
Luke's expression softened a little bit. "Rayna, I had no idea you have to believe that. I'm sure that we can come to some sort of compromise without takin' this to court."
"Luke, I know that I hurt you and I never wanted to do that. It would have hurt more had I married you and then decided that I couldn't do it. I have news for you though you didn't make me and I'll be damned if I let you break me. I'm not gonna fuckin' let you drag my babies into this either. This whatever it is, is between me and you." Rayna glared daggers at him.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I just said. That was my pride talkin'. I really have always had a thing for you and I rushed things when I shouldn't have. Look, I'll have my people call your people and we can work somethin' out about payin' you for Will's broken contract. In the mean time I will send Juliette back home where she belongs and I will have the paperwork drawn up to add her to my tour if she's agreeable with that." He sighed. "I didn't even ask. How's Deacon?"
"Alright, I can live with that. My people will talk to your people." She agreed to that. "He's doing well just got out of surgery not that long ago. Luke, you should go. You being here right now is kinda inappropriate. You and Deacon don't like each other and this is a family matter."
"I'll just collect my boy and we will go. We are gonna have to learn to get along sooner or later though our kids are datin'.' He replied.
"I really wish you'd called first I would have saved you the trip up here. It's not all that appropriate for Colt to be here right now either. Like I said it's a family matter. I appreciate the sentiment, but it's not the time." She crossed her arms.
"You know how teenagers are they don't really care about what's appropriate. Like I said I'll have Jimmy call Bucky and arrange a meetin' before I head off on tour." He nodded at her and walked out of the room.
"You guys don't have to still stay around here you can go. I know that sitting around the hospital isn't the most fun thing in the entire world. Deacon is still really out of it. If you wanna come back and see him later when he's more alert I know that he would like that. I really appreciate ya'll coming and sitting with me today." Rayna told everyone that was still sitting around the waiting room.
"I'm gonna go, if you need anything at all you call me. You and Deacon have been so good to me. You give him my best and tell him that I will be back to see him when he's feeling better." Sadie hugged her.
"I will," Rayna smiled back at her.
"I should be gettin' over to Kevin's. Tell Deacon I'm glad he's doin' ok. I'll call him and see when he wants me to visit." Will told her.
"I will if you need anything let Bucky know and he will handle it. He's gonna be really proud of you." Rayna hugged him quickly.
"Babe, I think I'm gonna get the girls home and check on the boys. Daddy has been alone with them all day." Tandy offered. She was sure that her sister was going to want some time alone with her husband.
"Thanks, Tandy, that would be a really big help." Rayna turned to her mother-in-law. "June, did you want to get out of here and get some rest? There's really nothing more than you can do here."
"Yeah, I will come back first thing in the mornin'. I could use some snuggle time with those two little guys after the day I've had." June replied. "I'm just gonna go check in on Deacon John before I go. Tandy, are you ok with waitin'?"
"Of course. I wanna check in on him too before I leave. We can go do that now. Girls, come on, let's go tell Deacon goodnight." Tandy herded her nieces up.
"Scarlett, sweetie, what are you gonna do tonight?" Rayna was trying to get her ducks in a row.
"I'm gonna hang around for a little while and then I'm gonna head out and get some sleep." Scarlett answered her.
"Do you need food or anything? I can run out and get you something. Or if you wanna wait and see if Deacon feels up to eating something I can go then." Gunnar offered.
"Thank you, Gunnar, that is so sweet of you. If you don't mind I'm gonna wait and see if Deacon feels up to eating." Rayna smiled softly at him.
"That's no problem at all. Just let me know what you need." Gunnar smiled back.
Before Rayna could go back and check on Deacon again Avery showed up to talk to her.
"Avery, what are you doing here, honey?" Rayna asked him.
"I needed to talk to you really quick. Uh, Juliette is gonna take off on tour with Luke. We tried to get her help for her postpartum and she didn't react well to that. I just wanted to let you know that I'm taking Cadence and going back to Ohio. I know that I've been doing a lot of producing for you lately, but I just can't." Avery told her.
"I understand you have to do what you have to do. I really wish you would stay though. You still have that contract with me. I know that you have your daughter to think of, but I think that you can be a really great solo artist. You don't have to put your life on hold just because your wife is a train wreck. If it's Cadence you're worried about you're more than welcome to bring her to the office. You know the boys are there all the time. There is always someone there to keep an eye on them." She reasoned with him.
He got a thoughtful look on his face. "Can I think about it and get back to you?"
"Of course you can. That offer has no time table on it. It's open anytime you want it. All you have to do is let me know." She replied.
"How's Deacon doing?" He asked to be polite.
"He's doing well thank you for asking." She smiled at him.
"I should get going and let you get back to him. Thank you for being so understanding." He said.
Deacon sitting up in bed when Rayna finally got back to him.
"Hey, babe, how are you feeling?" She asked him.
"I'm ok, feel like I got hit by a truck, but I'm alive that's somethin' to be thankful for. I've got this little button here to make that better though." He showed her the button for his morphine drip.
"Do you think you feel like eating anything tonight?" She sat down beside the bed and took his hand.
"Baby, I'm really tired I don't feel like eatin' at all." He laced their fingers together. "Now, how 'bout you tell me what's goin' on?"
She slipped off her shoes and climbed in bed next to him careful not to hurt him. She laid her head on his shoulder. "Everything is such a mess right now, babe."
"What's wrong, baby?" He put his arm around her.
"Like I told you Teddy got arrested. Will came out today and Luke dropped him from his tour. And the icing on top of the cake is that Juliette tried to sign on Luke's label. I talked to him about it and it didn't go that well. I'm just trying to be strong for so many people right now and I feel like I'm failing." She took a ragged breath.
"You don't have to take that all on by yourself. I'm here, baby, I'm still here and I'm not goin' anywhere." He pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head.
That was all it took for her to dissolve into tears. She buried her face in his chest and cried.
"Shh, it's ok, baby. It's all gonna be ok. You go on and cry I've got ya." He spoke in a soothing tone and rubbed her back gently.
"I was so scared that I was gonna lose you today. I don't know what I would do without you." She cried.
"I'm sorry as hell that I'm laid up in this bed and can't be of more help to you right now. It's my turn I'm supposed to be takin' care of you right now. You shouldn't have to take care of me again." He apologized.
"Don't you dare apologize for being you. I wouldn't love you as much if you were any other way. You being ok is the only good thing that has happened today and I will take that over anything else." She kissed him hard.
"You feelin' a little better now that you got it all out?" He held her close while she snuggled into his side.
"I feel much better now." She buried her face in his neck and breathed in his scent.
"I am sorry that you're gonna have to take this all on by yourself. I can't even help with the boys right now. This is the longest I've ever been away from them and I miss them so badly." His heart ached because he missed his boys so badly.
"Honey, as soon as you get home I know that you will help with them. I know you miss them. I can fix that though. Let's call them." She wiped her face and made sure that the tears were gone before she pulled out her phone and Facetimed the boys.
"Mom?" Maddie questioned when she answered the phone.
Rayna moved the phone over so Deacon was in the frame too. "It's both of us. Are the boys up?"
"Hey, dad, you look really good. Yeah the boys are awake." Maddie replied.
"Can you put them on? I really wanna see them." He asked.
"Yeah, just give me a second." Maddie laid her phone down and arranged the boys so they would both fit in the frame. "Ok, here they are."
"Outlaw, Rebel, it's daddy." Deacon cooed at his sons. Little Deacon's face lit up with a grin when he heard his father's voice. Jaymes started cooing and looking around for him. "Daddy misses his boys so much. Look at you I think you've gotten bigger since this mornin'. I'm sorry I'm not there to sing night-night song for you tonight. I promise that I will see you as soon as I can and we will have a bottle together. Daddy's right here look." His eyes teared up from seeing them search for him.
"Can you can boys smile for daddy and make him feel better?" Rayna asked them.
"Daddy loves you so, so much and he's gonna see you really soon. You be good for momma and your sisters. Night-night, Deac, night-night, Jayme." He blew kisses at them. He had to look away so they didn't see him cry.
"Bye, boys, momma will see you later." Rayna hung up the phone. "Oh, baby, don't cry." She put her arms around his neck.
He buried his face in her hair. "I just missed so much with Maddie and I don't wanna miss a minute with them, but I'm stuck in here."
"Sweetie, you had to battle your demons and put them behind you once and for all. So they don't have to worry that their daddy is ever gonna fall off the wagon. I'll tell you what I'm gonna stay with you tonight." She stroked his hair gently.
"No, babe, you go home to the kids. They all need you more than I do tonight. I'm doin' good and I will be fine on my own." He argued with her.
"I don't feel right leaving you here all alone. I abandoned you once, Deacon, I don't ever want you to feel that way again." She argued back.
"I think there is a compromise to be made here." He suggested.
"Go on I'm listening." She replied.
"I was thinkin' if Jimmy is around he could stay with me tonight. You could call me on that Facetime thing before bedtime and then you can come back tomorrow. Baby, you're exhausted physically and emotionally. I want you to go home and get a good night's rest. That's what you can do to make me feel better right now." He told her.
"Alright, I can arrange that. I just wanna spend some time with you first." She agreed to his terms.
"I'm not gonna turn down that offer. It's the best offer I've had all day. You better watch out these nurses are just a little too attentive to me." He grinned teasingly.
"They are just shit out of luck, you're mine, Mr. Claybourne." She put her lips against his and smiled.
"I wouldn't have it any other way, Mrs. Claybourne." He kissed her.
Rayna left about an hour later after getting him settled in with JC for the night. She peeked into Daphne's room and found her sitting up on the edge of the bed.
"Hey, Squirt, how you doing?" She used Deacon's nickname for her.
"Ok, I guess." Daphne shrugged her shoulders.
"It's ok to not be ok too. It's ok to feel whatever you need to feel right now." Rayna sat down next to her.
"Why would they arrest dad? He's not a bad guy he's one of the good guys. This has to be a mistake." Daphne threw herself into her mother's arms.
"I don't know, baby. I guess there are just things that we don't know about going on right now. It's possible that sometimes good people do bad things. I don't know what's going on, but I will try to find something out for you. Ok?" Rayna rubbed her back. She didn't want to lie to her, but she wanted to sugarcoat things as much as she could.
"Ok, mom." Daphne agreed.
"You know I've got the big bed all to myself and I really don't like to sleep alone. If you don't mind your brothers waking up every couple hours to be fed you could keep me company tonight." Rayna made it sound like Daphne would be doing her a favor.
"Really?" Daphne asked excitedly.
"Really, go on in there and get settled. I'm gonna go talk to your sister and I will be right in." Rayna sent her on her way.
Maddie's door was shut when she went to check on her. She knocked on the door and opened it. Maddie sat up playing around on her guitar.
"How are you doing with everything?" She leaned against the doorframe.
"I'm fine. I was thinking though I want to change my last name to Claybourne." Maddie told her casually.
"Maddie, you can't take back the things you do in the heat of anger. That's something that you need to think long and hard about. Teddy loves you he has loved you since the moment he found out about you even though he knew that you most likely weren't his. You don't want to hurt his feelings. I just don't want you to do something that you're gonna regret later." Rayna was trying to be cautious here.
"So only the boys are allowed to have dad's name? He's my dad too. Teddy can love me all he wants to and I love him, but he is not my father dad is. It kinda sucks to be the only one of his kids without his name. He told me that it was my choice and if I ever decided I wanted to change my name I could." Maddie argued. She was hurt and pissed off at Teddy.
"If this is what you really want we can sit down and discuss it." Rayna nodded her head.
"God, mom. You don't care about anything that I want. If you did you would just let me do this without an argument and you wouldn't have sent Colt away earlier." Maddie pouted.
"Maddie, I'm having a day. I'm trying real hard to be strong for everyone right now. Can we please not do this right now? I'll say this much today was a family thing and it wasn't the time or place for Colt to be there given that your dad and Luke don't get along. I just came to see how you were doing and to say goodnight I'm going to bed now." Rayna's bottom lip trembled as she tried hard to keep her emotions under control.
She went back to her room. She got the boys both in their bassinets. She kissed them twice once for her and once for Deacon. Daphne laid in the middle of the bed waiting for her.
"Daphne, do you want to help me sing the boys to sleep?" Rayna wanted to help her feel good about herself.
"Sure, mom." Daphne agreed.
"Mom," Maddie called softly from the doorway. "I'm sorry, I'm just upset and mad and I shouldn't take it out on you."
"I know, sweetie. Come and help us sing your brothers to sleep. Let's Facetime daddy so he can help." Rayna gestured for her to come into the room. She picked up her phone and called Deacon.
"Look at all my girls." He smiled.
"Hi, Deacon," Daphne waved at him.
"Hey, dad." Maddie said.
"Babe, we called so you could help sing the boys to sleep." Rayna told him.
"I'd love to help." Deacon agreed.
A few minutes later the boys were sound asleep and Rayna was in bed laying in the middle of the girls.
"Baby, get some sleep. I love you. I'll see you in the mornin'." Deacon told her.
"I love you too, babe. See you in the morning." Rayna blew him a kiss and hung the phone up. She silently thanked God that he was drugged up and couldn't tell she was holding something back from him.
A/N: Here is the next chapter, I hope you guys liked it. What could Rayna possibly be holding back from Deacon? And where is Beverly? Both good questions that have an answer coming up in the next couple of chapters. I always felt like Avery got the short end of the stick so I had Rayna throw him a bone. I'm redoing a couple things with the whole Juliette situation. No flashbacks this chapter, but there are a couple more coming up. Until next time please review.