Author's Note:

Happy birthday to Star of Airdrie! I should have gotten off my ass and written you some smut, but you'll just have to settle for a ZombieDick/ZombieNightwing combo and this chapter dedicated to you!

Gretchen's got a big date! She's managed to attract the eye of one very snazzy looking hunk of man-metal-beast! Don't be surprised if there's MEEPing in the future and if you hear Barry Manilow music playing, stay away from computer consoles.

Chapter 37.

I fell off my chair in my haste to turn around, determined to confront the unexpected voice behind me. It wasn't possible, I would have known there was someone in my apartment, I should have been prepared for that possibility. Embarrassing as all hell to know someone had witnessed my moment of weakness.

Even if it was…

Starfire was in the doorway to our bedroom, leaning up against the frame. She had her hands behind her back, cushioning her rump against the frame. She wore her white, flora, silk robe, it was open and the untied cloth belt dangled from her hips. I could tell by the way the robe hung, she wore nothing beneath. She looked tired, her expression sad but she was here. The ring around her neck glinted at me.

"Starfire…" I swallowed heavily, so many words and I couldn't think of anything to say. I picked myself up from the ground, staring.

"I missed you. I was not coping either," she said simply, her shoulders rising up a little, her robe opening just a fraction more. "So I came home. I was going to surprise you… Dick, do you often keep things from me like that?"

"I… uh…" I glanced at Gretchen as though she could magically provide some sort of distraction or answer for me.

"It could only be one of a few reasons," Starfire said, rather mildly. "Either you did not wish to worry me, you wished to have more information before you told me, or you hoped to have everything under control before I got back."

There are times I'm incredibly lucky she understands me so well. "Um… possibly a combination of the three," I replied, sheepish. "When did you get back? And how?"

"A few hours ago," she said as though it was no real concern. "And I flew. Ryand'r showed me the way through the nebula."

"That was dangerous," I abolished, but not very sternly. I was too glad she was back.

She shrugged. "We did it slowly. I thought it was worth the risk. It was quite interesting, the pull of the nebula, it was almost as though it knew I did not mean it or its inhabitants any harm." She half smiled. "Ryand'r, Kik Kik and the children are going to come for a holiday here soon, I thought that would be easier for us and he understood I needed to be with you. I can ask them to delay that if you are concerned about the Redhorn debacle."

I cringed. "I was going to tell you," I said, meek. "I was. I just… I needed… time to sort through everything."

She nodded, looking at the floor. "I know."

I sort of staggered toward her a little, a few fumbling steps before I stopped, my hands grasping. I wanted to throw myself at her, but I couldn't. "How are you feeling?" I asked, careful. "Everything okay?"

She looked back up at me and tilted her head, curiously. "Beyond some emotional consequences I was not prepared for, I am well."

I glanced down at her stomach then back up at her face. "Both of you?"

"Oh." She smiled and it was like the sun had come out after a month of dreary, rain filled days, so bright and beautiful and happy. "We are fine."

Unable to stay away any longer, I crossed the room to her, wrapping my arms around her and burying my head into her neck. "I'm so glad you're here," I murmured, my voice turning husky. "I missed you."

She shifted as she removed her hands from behind her back to hug me. Fingers stroked through my hair, down my back and I changed positions, slipping my hands inside her robe to the bare skin beneath, coveting her warmth, pressing us together. Not sexual, just holding. "Is it that bad?" she whispered.

"I don't know," I murmured, snuggling closer. "It feels bad, but I think it's because I haven't dealt with what happened to us."

"Then we should—"

"Not yet. As lame as it sounds, I already feel so much better, just because you're here." It's amazing how Starfire can just put everything back into equilibrium for me. A smile and a snuggle and her voice and everything settles. Angst, brooding, frustration, indecision, it all just fades away. She's back. Happy, healthy, whole, and in my arms.

And I'm noticing just how naked she is beneath that robe.

Gentle kisses and nuzzles against her neck. Nibbles and suckles, following the line of her neck up to her chin. Hands slipping up and down her back, caressing up her sides. Starfire's breathing hitched a little, her fingers tightened on the back of my head. Gripping my hair, she tilted my head back, bringing our lips together in a searing kiss.

I pushed against her immediately, forcing it deeper, coaxing her lips apart. It'd been too long since we'd had any contact like this, with her being taken, then her healing sleep, then the fact that we were all staying in the same room. Our mouths moved together, mingling taste, teasing tongues. Starfire's already a little cooey, making rumbling purrs in the back of her throat, pushing her chest against mine, asking for more and I'm quite eager to supply it. More than eager, anxious and willing and she's so damn beautiful.

Hands danced along the skin of her shoulders, fingers curled beneath the hem, pushing the silken robe away. Starfire dropped her arms from me, arched her back so the cloth fluttered to the ground and pooled around our feet.

Stroking my hands against her skin, I slipped down to her rump, then to the back of her thighs, lifting her up and pressing her firmer against the door frame, firmer against me. Floating, she wrapped her legs around my hips, then tugged at my jacket, pulled it half down my shoulders, not even bothering to remove it fully before her hands were up my shirt. The fabric of my jacket gathered around my elbows, but I couldn't take my hands off her long enough to remove it.

It was turning into a bit of a frenzy. I was trying to be gentle, because of her delicate state. Trying to hold back and not be so desperate for her. Trying and not succeeding.

The front door slammed shut, both of us jolting in surprise.

"Dick, have you seen this garbage on the news—" Tim ranted as he walked into the room and then froze as he saw us. Blood drained from his face. I could tell he was trying not to look, eyes as wide as dinner plates, but he was also caught too. Unable to move, unable to look away. "Oh. Shit."

I stared at him, kind of stuck in the same predicament. "Um… hi."

He sounded as lame as I did. "Hi."

"Greetings, Tim Tim," Starfire said, smiling brightly. "Please excuse us." She grabbed the front of my shirt, kept her legs around my waist and used her flight to drag me into our bedroom, somehow managing to keep me between Tim and the view of her nakedness. He would have fainted if he'd caught a good look at her, I'm sure.

I kicked the door shut behind me, returning to kissing her while I toed the heels of my shoes to remove them, then dumped us both on the bed. As we bounced (on our sides because I didn't want to hurt her), Starfire erupted in to adorable little giggles around my kisses.

Silkie squeaked at me indignantly, warbling and putting his little legs on my arm, asking for attention. Without breaking lip contact, I shooed at him, bumping him with my arm and grunted. Starfire laughed at me as Silkie refused to be dissuaded, obviously wanting to greet me himself.

"Excuse me," I told Starfire, grabbed Silkie, crossed the room to shove the larva out the door. "Hey buddy, how are you, nice to see you, now shoo and let me greet momma. Go bother Tim."

Starfire covered her mouth with her hand as she lay on our bed, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

"How'd he get back?" I asked as I removed my jacket, leaving it on the floor.

"I borrowed a capsule from Ryand'r and pulled him," she replied, sitting up. She reached forward, grabbed the buckle of my belt and yanked me toward the bed, then her other hand grabbed the front of my shirt again. I fought not to wince as her fingers curled against the patch on my chest.

I found myself on my back with Starfire kneeling beside me, lithe fingers divesting of my jeans, then my shirt was shoved up and yanked off. She didn't even mention the bandage on my chest, although I know she was worried about it. Can't quibble about every little wound. Once I was naked, except for my socks which for some reason Starfire always finds sexy, she stretched out beside me, her thigh over the top of my legs and her foot curled behind my knee as our lips found each other's again.

Warm and wet and Starfire. Shifting hips, trying to cajole more, hands enticing me toward her. Kisses that invited taste and touch, chest pushed up toward me. Not hard to tell what she wanted. Rolling onto my side, I pressed my fingers to her calf, coaxing her leg over my hip, before I slid my hand up her body. I wanted her, needed her, ached for her. Parts of me strained toward her, but there was something holding me back.

I pushed forward, lifting up on an elbow as I slid a hand down her belly to her slick warmth. Then hesitated, lifting my head away from hers and opening my eyes. "This is— this is okay, isn't it?" I panted.

"Yes," she purred.

"I won't hurt you or the baby?"

"Oh, Dick," she murmured, mouth against my shoulder. "You will not damage us."

"You'd tell me—"

She placed a finger against my lips. "Shh. Of course."

I wasn't convinced and Starfire could see that, so she pressed a hand to my shoulder, gentle but firm pressure until I was lying on my back again and she mounted me.

I fisted the sheets of my bed, watching her lose herself in sexual haze. It's always sensual when she's on top, the view I get is just incredible. She dipped and swayed, her head thrown back, her gorgeous hair framing her body, curling around her breasts as it draped over her shoulders like silk and sometimes if I'm incredibly lucky, she'll reach around behind her and run her fingers up my legs and play at the apex. Sometimes, if I've won lotto, she'll add some energy to her fingertips as she does that, oh the sensations I get from that.

I held back, kept my movement to a minimum, couldn't let myself go. I could be there for her, but despite her assurances, I just couldn't be sure I wouldn't hurt her if I allowed myself to feel.

Starfire opened shining eyes, gazing down at me and smiled, her hips never ceasing. She ran her hands down my arms to pry my fingers from the bed sheets. "It is okay," she coaxed as she lifted my hands to cover her breasts. "Relax."

She's so sexy, but I just couldn't… "Star…"

Shifting back a little, she pulled me to sit upright, hugged me tight. "Love me, Richard," she murmured as she kissed me.

I seized her, clamped my hands down on the back of her shoulders. I let go of the hunger, the restraint. She squeaked in surprise, why, I don't know, she knows what sort of reaction she gets when she purrs my name at me. We toppled sideways and Starfire giggled at me.

"Always, Koriand'r," I murmured as I took control, determined to give us both what we needed and wanted. "I promise."

Snuggled up together afterward, Starfire traced her fingers around the patch on my chest. My arms were around her, our legs entwined, safe and warm and together, and so very glad she was home.

"What happened to make you come home?" I asked, feeling lazy and snugly but still wanting to know why she'd come back so early.

She shuddered, clenched her eyes shut and curled against me more. "Nightmares."

I gave her a comforting squeeze. "Oh. Sorry."

"I did not wish to scare the children and I am certain there will be more coming. I always feel safest with you."

I squeezed her. "It's okay. You don't need to explain. But visiting right now, might not be the best thing."

"They wish to spend time with Galfore too," she murmured. "I thought I could ask Bruce if we could utilise one of his islands, perhaps the one in the archipelago off Gotham. That way they would be safe and out of the way of the public and we could visit."

I nodded. "Okay. I can ask Bruce for you if you like?"

"No," she said. "I shall do it." She kissed my chest and sighed. "Truly, we left a lot of things unsaid."

"We did," I agreed, stroking figure eights on her upper arm with my fingers. "But there wasn't a lot of time for us to talk about things."

"I do not know where to start."

"I do," I said. "I love you. I want this baby. I don't care how it was conceived and I'm certainly not going to tell anyone how it came to be. It doesn't matter. It's ours. We have enough money put away and a baby isn't going to put a strain on us financially if one of us decides to become a stay at home parent. And if not, Superhero day care is an option. I don't care what people will think, or the press will say because we're not married. I plan on bringing Kory back into Dick's life, if I have to hide you behind a hologram ring so we can be together, then that's what we'll do. Can's already asking to meet you. We can have a 'whoops', I don't care. Can already knows how long I was with you for. We'll do this together, Star, as a family."

"Oh."

"Thoughts?" I prompted.

"I am scared."

"Why?"

"We risk our lives every day," she whispered, her eyes back on the patch on my chest. "I do not wish to raise this baby alone, or leave you to raise it alone if something happens to one of us."

"Walking down the street is dangerous, Star. What we do is important."

"I know."

"But it does risk us a bit more."

She nodded.

"Do you want me to stop being Nightwing?" I asked, a little nervous about that particular idea. I don't know that I'd be willing to give up what I do if she forced the issue. There was still so much left to be done for Bludhaven. But I also felt I should offer too.

"You could not cease being Nightwing any more than I could stop being Starfire," she murmured. "It is who we are. I am allowed to be fearful for us."

I kissed her hair. "You are."

"Do you wish to speak of the Psions?" she asked, resigned.

"Do you?"

"No."

"Then neither do I." Too dark a conversation for just yet. We would talk about it, eventually. I didn't want to be dark right now.

Extracting my arm from beneath her, I grinned, gave her a kiss, then smooched my way down her body, rolling her onto her back as I did so. Suckles on each perky nipple, she giggled and stoked her fingers though my hair. I kept going down, little kisses, tickling brushes of my fingertips while she giggled and looked down her body at me.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

I placed a kiss on her navel, then dipped lower, spreading my hands over her belly beneath her belly button. "Hello, junior Grayson in waiting."

Starfire sucked in a surprised gasp of breath. "Dick."

"Shush woman," I said. "Private time." I looked down at her belly again and rolled my eyes, teasing Starfire. "Always interrupting, that's your momma. You'll get used to it." I tickled Starfire's belly. "I'm your daddy. Doesn't matter if you come out with brown scales and a Mohawk, I'm your dad, and I love you. Though I do hope you look a little like me, I wouldn't wish the family cowlick on anyone. We're going to have such fun together, you and me, and if you can fly like your momma can, well… the Flying Graysons is what they used to call my family, it'd be nice to have that true again. I can't wait to meet you." Another kiss, then I placed my ear against Starfire's stomach and listened a moment, then looked up at Starfire and said, "He says, 'gurgle gurgle'."

Starfire giggled. "Oh, Dick," she said and placed her fingers over the top of mine. "Our little eilace."

I remembered that word. "You said that before, what does it mean?"

She considered. "I suppose the closest Earthen translation would be 'first child of love'."

"Ahh," I said. "So it's an endearment, not a name?"

She nodded, then readjusted her head on the pillow. "There are many names for potential offspring, before the birthing, but that one is my favourite." She paused. "He? You wish for a boy?"

I kissed her fingers. "I wish for a happy, healthy baby. Girl or boy, doesn't matter. As long as it's okay."

She smiled at me and beckoned with her finger and I crawled up her body to kiss her.

Trace, trace, trace, fingers around the edge of the patch as we kissed, I wondered when she'd ask. "Dick?" she asked eventually, breaking away and dropping her eyes to my chest.

I wanted to let her know as gently as I could, but there was no hedging around this one. "It's a bullet wound."

Worry shrouded her eyes, covered her face as she went pale. "Oh, Dick!"

I settled my weight on my elbow to explain. "Tim and I broke into the police station in charge of Redhorn's murder case last night, hoping to get a jump on the evidence. Met a new criminal, Red Hood, who got the jump on us. We tried to get an in on his organisation by pretending to be criminals, since we were there as Red X and Wyvern, but he saw me and spooked. Point blank in the chest."

Starfire sucked in a gasp of breath. "Dick, you never wear enough Kevlar."

I laughed. "You know, he said the… oh. Fuck me!" I leapt from the bed, bounding for my pants and tossing Starfire a shirt. "C'mon!"

"What?" she asked, startled, but I was already out the door.

"Gretchen, I want my recording from last night on the display. Tim!" I bellowed.

He poked his head out of the guest room. "Dude, I'm sorry, I didn't know she was—"

"The bastard knew me," I snapped, waiting impatiently for Gretchen to find my recording, before I fast forwarded through to the Red Hood battle.

"What?" Tim asked. "What bastard?"

"Dick, what is wrong?" Starfire asked, coming out of our room, picking up her robe on the way and putting that on as well.

"He knew me."

"You are not making sense," Starfire said.

Red Hood's masked face filled the screen as I found the right part of the video. Starfire flinched as the sound of the gun echoed through Gretchen. I glanced at her to see her covering her face with her hands. She never liked to witness me being injured.

"Just how much Kevlar do you wear nowadays, dick?" Red Hood sneered. "Still not enough?"

"I don't understand," Tim said.

"C'mon," I snarled, frustrated. "Who, besides family, knows that I don't wear enough Kevlar? He called me by name. That's my fucking name. He knew I don't wear enough. Whoever this prick is, it's someone who knows me."

"None of our friends would shoot you," Starfire protested.

I wasn't listening. I was going over the fight again and again in my head. There was something strange, yet oddly familiar. His voice. The way he moved.

There were very few people that new I moonlighted as Red X. Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven, Flash, Tim, Babs, Bruce, Alfred.

Joker.

I looked at Tim. "He called you the replacement. The new one."

"So?" Tim asked.

I held my head in my hands. "He doesn't move his feet. He knew I don't wear enough body armour. He knew who I was beneath Red X. He knew."

"Dick?" Starfire asked, sounding scared.

"But it's not possible. It's not… Bruce—" I jerked my head up. "Gretchen, call the Batcave."

"Batcave is currently unavailable."

"Fuck. Gretchen, open a general wave to the Batcave."

"Open."

"Bruce. I know you're there. I know who Red Hood is. Pick up."

"What?" Tim blurted from behind me. "Who?"

"Dick, what is going on?" Starfire asked.

"Bruce, pick up!" I demanded.

Bruce appeared on the screen in his Batman outfit, his cowl back. He held his head in his hands, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "You figured it out."

"You knew?" I asked, flabbergasted. "You fucking knew and you didn't tell me?"

"DNA testing only came back an hour ago… I… couldn't."

"How?" I demanded. "How is this possible?"

"I don't know," Bruce replied.

"Dick," Starfire said, sounding stern. "Who is it?"

I turned and stared at her, then realised she couldn't possibly know. She hadn't had a chance to know him after all. Just that one, fateful night. He'd been stolen far too soon. And Tim. He wouldn't have known either. Just me and Bruce.

I swallowed. Somehow voicing it made it seem all too real. Too true. And I couldn't understand how that could be. "It's Jason."

Author's note:

Yeah, yeah…

Kry's sexual awareness: Sex and pregnancy go together (haha, well, you have to have one to have the other). In the sense, yes, you can have sex while you're pregnant. No, the baby will not feel it, grab hold, anything like that. Despite their boasts, guys are not long enough. The penis does not go anywhere near the baby. When a woman gets pregnant, she develops what's called a mucus plug, which sits in the cervix and blocks the womb off from the vagina. It protects mom and baby from all sorts of infections (which is why the doctors will say if your water breaks (i.e. the mucus plug is gone), you shouldn't have sex). Unless a doctor says otherwise, sex during pregnancy is perfectly natural and quite enjoyable. The female orgasm is actually good for baby. Dad cannot hurt baby or mom, but sex will need to change as you get further along, ie missionary becomes impossible. Rough sex is also not a particularly good idea. It is always good practice to check whether or not something that previously didn't hurt, may in fact hurt now. Also, sexual appetites change, she may want more, or less, you just have to take it as it comes. Dick's question is actually a pretty common one, he's just checking he's not going to hurt her.