Hey lovely people! Thanks for your many reviews on the previous chapter :)
Some of you asked for the vote numbers... here they are:
1) James - 12 votes
2) Hades - 10
3) Sébastien - 7
4) Max - 6
5) Eric - 5
6) Finn - 5
7) Ethan - 4
8) Roy - 3
~ Eliminated ~
9) Harrison - 3
10) Kanta - 3 (injured)
11) Wesley - 3 (dead)
12) Dylan - 2
13) Flynn - 1
14) Killian - 1
15) Watson - 1
16) Harry - 0
Aaaaanyway, sorry for the wait, I had a hectic week and didn't have as much writing time as I wished. Hope you like this chapter! I'm still waiting for a few answers from the creators of the Elite. To the ones who already sent it, THANKS! ;)
Chapter 35
The morning after the announcement of the Elite, I said goodbye to all the boys who were going back home. Thankfully, no Press was here to witness this, and it was a tearful goodbye, as well as for me as for the boys. They were part of my life, and it was hard to let them go, even if I had to. When I had bargained with Father on my Selection, who knew I would be so broken inside when I would let them go? Not me, that was for sure.
The next few days were full of meetings, reading reports, checking off things on my to-do list, but also adding things on my to-do list, talking with General Lodge about new security measures — like some metal detectors for whoever was stepping inside the Palace — and forgetting half the time to eat. Thank goodness I had Judy with me practically all the time. She was not longer only my maid. Now she was my unofficial assistant, reminding me of things on my schedule — like eating — and keeping me on track. There were so many things to do and think about, I kind of forgot about the boys.
How could I forget them, when just a few days ago, they were a huge part of my daily activities? Being Queen had its perks, like being the most powerful person in Illéa or being able to order people around — which I always looked forward to, but now I hated it —, but it also had its downsides, like not having one single minute to yourself. In a sense, I already knew that: When Queen — or King — always put your people and your country before yourself. But with such a thought in mind, how on earth was I supposed to have the time to find a husband?
Then again, finding a husband was a Princess' task, not a Queen's.
I remember reading a few articles on the Elite after the Special. The people were happy with my choices, but they were wondering about Lizy and James. They had seen her a couple times before, but James had always been careful about not associating her with him too early in the Selection. Now it was done, and this matter had received some lukewarm reactions: half of the articles were saying how brave he was to do the Selection with his daughter, but were wondering where the mother was. The other half said I had kept him out of pity, and that he didn't deserve his place in the Elite.
I had learned long ago not to rely and focus on articles about us, but these were hard to ignore. Maybe I'd have to make a statement of some kind in the near future.
It was the morning of the Funeral. I was glad I had put a team on this, not wanting to do any choice about it — be it the flowers, the color or the ribbons, writing the speech or choosing the music — and just come as a daughter, and not as the ex-Princess who had lost not only a father and a mother, but a King and a Queen.
I was looking out the window, lost in thought, and alone in the study, when a slight knock on the door made me jump.
"Come in," I simply said, forcing my thoughts away.
The door opened and Bast came in, closing the door behind him. "Hey," he said. "Are you okay?"
I smiled sadly. How could I be okay on the day my parents would be buried? "All right, I guess," I said, sighing. He dragged a chair next to mine and sat on it, his chin resting on his hands, which were resting on his knees. He looked at me.
"We haven't seen you in a while," he said softly.
"I know. I'm sorry," I said, not meeting his gaze, and letting my shoulders slump. "This week has been hectic, and I haven't had a minute alone." I hugged myself. I was already wearing the black dress I would be wearing at the funeral.
He looked at me with his light brown eyes and smiled tenderly. "If there's anything you need, we're here to help you." He cleared his voice. "Actually, I kind of come in the name of all the Elite. If you need help with anything, please feel free to ask us. We're having some specialized lessons with Casper, on being a Prince Consort and all, so we're eager to put that to use and help you in any way we can."
I smiled and chuckled lightly. "Thanks." I twisted my fingers together, fighting the urge to cry. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing my chin not to tremble and my throat not to let out a sob. For some reason, I was breaking down, and I had trouble keeping it all inside.
Without warning, Bast just wrapped his arms around me. "Cry," he ordered softly, barely above a whisper. "You need it." And I did just that. I cried against his chest, letting everything go. I didn't know why I was crying like this, but I think that since the Special, I hadn't cried a single tear, too busy being a Queen, and forgetting to be myself.
With his hand, he drew soothing circled on my back, and gently rocked me back and forth. It felt good be a little girl again, being able to let everything go. After what felt like hours of crying, the sobs finally subsided and I sat, letting go of Bast. I took a look at his white shirt and chuckled between tears.
"I'm sorry I ruined your shirt," I said. It was smudged with make-up and tears.
He looked down on his chest and laughed. "Naah, don't worry. I have dozens of those." He smiled and took one of my hands in his. "Feeling better?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I think so." I sighed. "I just feel so lost." I paused, not making eye-contact with him. "It feels like there's someone else in me — the Queen — who's trying to take over, and pushing me away. I feel like there's a battle in me. The Queen against the teenager." I paused. "I forget to eat, I don't have any time to read, and I don't even have a minute to see you guys," I said, defeat dripping in my voice.
"Then why don't we come to you, instead?" he suggested.
I shrugged. "I don't know. It could be an idea, but what if you come in the middle of a meeting and I can't see you?"
"Then, if you don't have the time for your Selection, make the time. Put an hour or two everyday, or every other day aside for your Elite," he said smugly, sticking out his chest.
I sighed. "Yeah, maybe you're right." I looked at the time. "It's time for lunch, and then we have to go to the funeral."
"Are you going to be okay, mon Soleil?" he said with a small smile.
I smiled, too. "Yeah. Now I'm good."
"Aah, I like it better when you smile, you know?" I almost rolled my eyes at him, but instead, I planted a light kiss on his cheek. "Thanks. For your shoulder." I looked at him this time.
"My chest, you mean." A smirk grew on his face, as he cupped my cheek in his hand.
"Yeah, whatever. But a 'shoulder to cry on' is better than 'a chest to cry on', don't you think?"
"Hmm. Yeah, probably. Well, my shoulders are always going to be there for your tears, and my chest will always be a resting place for your head. Your Majesty."
"I'd rather you not call me that, you know?"
"Okay, ma Reine," he said with an amused smile. "Your wish is my command."
I giggled softly, forgetting about the Queen in me who was trying to take over. Right now, the girl in me was winning, and I wanted to make it last. And to do that, I needed to do one thing: I stretched on my tiptoes and brushed his lips with mine, losing myself in those few seconds kissing him. I read somewhere that, to make the time stop, a kiss would do. And it did.
I looped my arm around his arm, and we walked slowly to the Dining Room. I had ordered one big table for all of us, and it was kind of the only time I had had with the boys in the past three days. I didn't talk much, listening to their conversations. I knew they were keeping themselves in check in front of me, but I wanted to plan a time where I could kind of spy on them, to know what was really happening between them. The Elite was on, now, and despite them being friends and all, I was pretty sure the pressure was up and that nasty things would be coming up rather sooner than later.
"So," I started, making everyone fall silent in a second and turning their heads towards me. "What have you guys all been up to?"
"Besides learning how to be the best Prince Consort if you chose us," Max said with a smirk on his face, "we haven't done much." He shrugged.
"Yeah," Finn added. "We just chill around, waiting for orders from you or someone else." He chuckled.
Eric chuckled. "And James has been running after Lizy most of the time."
I looked at James, and he blushed. "She's been exploring the Palace a lot, and I found her in weird places." He chuckled and ruffled his daughter's hair. "So if you see me in places I'm not supposed to be, it's just because I'm looking for her." The boys all laughed and I chuckled lightly. It was funny, but right then, I wasn't in the mood for laughing.
The conversation picked up from there, and I didn't really listen. The teenager in me was getting ready to be buried at the same time as my parents. Now I would be my own parent, and my own kid. The Queen, and the teenager. But the Queen always wins. My shoulders felt heavy and if a genie would show up right now and asked me for one single wish, it would be to get rid of the Crown to be able to properly end my childhood. Adulthood was downing upon me so fast, I thought I would drown. My heart was beating faster, and it was harder to breathe. I took short, small gulps of air and I started to panic: oxygen was not coming fast enough.
"Dora," I heard in the distance. "Dora!"
I tried to focus my eyes on the person talking to me, but my field of vision was getting smaller and smaller, and the image was blurry. Blond hair was all I could see. My whole body buckled under me and I felt a pair of strong arms catch me before I was on the floor.
When I opened my eyes, I was lying down on a plushy sofa, my legs on the armrest. It took me a second to recognize my surroundings. I was in the Women's Room, a dozen guys around me, looking at me. Alex was sitting on the couch next to me and was gently wiping my forehead with a cold cloth.
"Are you okay?" he asked me, oblivious to the people around us.
I frowned, and tried to talk, but my mouth was dry. "What happened?" I said in a raw voice.
"You fell from your chair," Matt said, "and Finn caught you before you fell on the ground."
I searched for Finn with my eyes, and when I saw him, he smiled slightly.
"What happened, Dora?" Max asked.
"I- I don't know. I think my thoughts had the better of me." I shifted my position and sat on the couch. I wasn't light headed or anything, but I knew that I needed all of my strength and focus for the afternoon. We would be filmed and I needed to let the Queen in me take over. It was a necessity. I held my head high and stood. "Thank you, gentlemen, for you help. I think we can go back to the Dining Room." I didn't wait for their answers and left the Room. I could feel their confused looks burning a hole in my back, but I ignored them. Today, I had to be the Queen, and let the teenager die and get buried at the same time as her parents.
We finished lunch in relative silence. When I was done, I excused myself and went back to my room, where Judy fixed my smudged make up and hair, as sober as possible. She smoothed my dress and I was ready to go. The funeral was quite early so the tech team could edit it for the evening.
Limos were waiting for us, and my brothers and I climbed the first one. My Elite climbed in the next two limos, and we drove to the Angeles Cathedral. There, a few dozens of people were already seated inside. I had to wait for everyone to be there, and to be the last one to enter, with my brothers. Finally, the master of ceremonies showed up, and it was our turn. I walked with Alex at my arm, and the twins following us closely behind. We walked down the church aisle and sat in the front. Every single pair of eyes looked at us, and I forced the crying teenager away from the surface, letting the Queen take it's rightful place. But under it all, I was bawling. My heart was ripped away and I was being transformed from the inside. Growing up and becoming a Queen overnight is painful.
The whole ceremony was a blur. I followed what the others were doing — sitting, standing, sitting again — and went on the small stage to read the speech my advisors had written for me. The Queen was ruling in me, and the teenager was crushed under the weight of the Sovereign. I read the words without even realizing it, and went back to my seat. After that, we went to the cemetery, and the two coffins were lowered in the ground. I felt the teenager go down, too, but I held it back just at the last second. I didn't think I could survive without her. I needed the teenage girl in me to balance the Queen who was growing fast.
And tomorrow, the Queen would be coronated.
Thanks for still following me and reading, and reviewing ;) You guys are awesome!
Hope you liked it. Your feedback is very much appreciated, like always. ;P
See you soon! (we have a 3-day week-end in Switzerland, right now, so I hope to get more writing down...)