- # -

Chapter XXXVII

Jealousy

m

Step. Breathe in. Step. Breathe out.

The only thing that kept me focused as I ran back to the Glade was this pattern that I kept on repeating to myself. Every muscle in my body is tense, tightened - a whole day of running has finally taken its toll of my body. Only a few turns left until safety, but even that couldn't make me feel safe. In a place like this, even moments away from passing the walls something could happen. Anything could happen. You never knew with the Creators, shucking bastards.

"Keep it up Ben, almost there," I said breathlessly, looking back at my friend. He had been on the job for a good amount of time and has been my partner ever since his start. Sweat dripped off of his face, he couldn't even bother to wipe it out of his eyes anymore. His smile was a crooked, but he still gave me thumbs up.

The second we enter the Glade, the both of us collapse. Today's round was a longer than usual; even after all this time, the Maze was unpredictable, it's corridors changing and seemingly becoming more complex over night. Sometimes we just had to hope that we would be back before the Doors closed. Even though we knew there was some kind of sequence, sometimes the Creators liked to mix them up. Shivers ran down my spine as I thought of Jackie, one of my first Runners, who hadn't made it back in time. We looked for him for hours, until one day we found a scrap of his t-shirt. Back then, we didn't know anything. We didn't know how he died; Grievers didn't exist in our world yet, even though we heard their moans every night. They must have gotten to him - he was a fast Runner, but not fast enough by far.

I stretched my legs, groaning at the burning sensation that ran through my muscles. Wordlessly, I waved over one of the guards and gestured at the Kitchens. My throat was completely dry, my breath rasping as I tried to regain control, so when he came back with bottles of water I immediately began gulping it down. As my heart rate slowed down, I scanned the Glade. Most of the boys were finishing their jobs for the day: the Trackhoes were gathering their tools and bringing their harvest to the Kitchens, while Gally seemed to be giving his Builders some kind op pep-talk. Or maybe a scolding. I stood up and wiped the dirt off of my clothes before running my hands through my hair, trying to make myself look at least presentable for dinner. I would have to shower after.

Right now I had to finish my work as well. Dinner was about an hour away, so I had just enough time to update the map. I started to walk over to the Map Room, but someone caught my eye, making me linger in my steps. Harper's hair was impossible to miss; it curls around her face like some sort of halo. She was sitting on top of one of the tables, laughing at something Frypan said. Instantly, I wished I was the one who was making her laugh, but I immediately pushed away the thought. What was wrong with me? What was I thinking yesterday in the Deadheads?

Ever since I showed her how I felt, she had been avoiding me. I had to keep on telling myself that it meant nothing, that we just hadn't had the time to talk to each other yet. Both of us had busy jobs. Especially with me being out of the Glade, it wasn't like we could make small talk in between shifts. But the way she shifted her gaze at dinner yesterday or how even now, she doesn't look me in the eyes, even though it's obvious that she knows I'm back - her eyes dart nervously in my direction every couple of seconds, checking if I am still staring at her.

I never got distracted before, and I didn't need the distraction now either. Letting my guard down was something I could not afford to do, for both my own and every one else's safety. Until the Glade and the Maze were far behind us, I had to focus.

I marched on towards the Map Room, where some of the other Runners were already busy drawing out their progress of the day. Sheet after sheet was filled with scribbles, lines for every corridor and turn. They were neatly stacked, sorted by section and number in the cycle. We knew there was a pattern - time after time it repeats itself. First, we thought we had it all figured out. But how come there is a pattern, but no exit? We have seen every part of the Maze, every little corridor and dead end. It has been almost two years since we started exploring the Maze and still no closer to an exit today than we were then.

I knew that. Some of the Runners knew as well, though a lot of them kept their hopes high. On top of carrying the weight of running every day, we had to make sure no one else lost hope. Fear would spread like a wildfire and before we knew it, all of us would be dead.

"What do you think?" Ben asked suddenly, pulling me back into reality. He was staring intently at his maps, comparing them to each other.

I looked down at my own work, and realised I hadn't really made a lot of progress. My mind tended to keep me occupied like this - I would have to finish up after dinner.

"Looks fine to me," I said, nodding my head in approval. "Anything out of the ordinary?"

Ben shrugged. "I don't think so. Maze has been pretty steady last couple of weeks. Not much variation."

"I can't wrap my shucking head around it," I muttered, studying the papers in front of me. "There's a pattern in here, somewhere, but what do we do with it?" I looked up at Ben, who was just as clueless as I was. "What's the point of a Maze if there's no exit?"

As Ben began stashing up his own maps he said, "We'll figure it out someday, Minho. Enough things to worry about without a Maze filled with killer-machines."

Food, water, peace, and as much as I hated to admit it, Harper. All of those things took up my mind, leaving barely enough space for me to figure out how the hell we could escape this place. And what were we going to do after that? What was beyond the Maze?

Before my thoughts could completely engulf me again, Ben slapped me on the back. "How about we get some food?"

- # -

By the time we arrived in the dining area, almost all of the Gladers were already munching on their dinner, chattering and laughing like always. I didn't really understand how some of them had to tell each other so many things, even though they had been working together all day already. Every day was the same old story. Only the exciting news made it to each and every Glader, which was good in some cases, if there was some kind of change, but usually it was gossip, and that always resulted in embarrassment, whispers and weird stares wherever you came. Which was one of the reasons why I silently prayed that Harper hadn't told anybody. Her friends seemed like blabbermouths, and the last thing I needed right now was drama.

It felt like my head was on fire when I saw Newt sitting with Harper and her friends As much as I hated myself for it, I had somehow been glad that Newt was out of the running for a while. Now the two of them seemed to be rekindling their friendship, and instead of feeling happy for them, my body was filled to the brim with jealousy. Maybe I should have told Newt about what happened between me and her. Maybe she already told him. But me being me, it wasn't like I had a lot of people around me that I called friends. Would Newt feel left out if Harper and I were a thing?

If she even wanted to be a thing. If I wanted it to be a thing.

If it was even a possibility. Alby and Harper weren't exactly on good terms, while Alby and I had to co-operate constantly. And the way things were, I didn't want anyone accusing me of favouritism. Harper would never be able to become a Runner if anyone on the Council thought that we were anything more than friends.

With all the swag I could manage, I walked up to the group.

"Go get a room, you two," I said with a forced grin as I put down my plate, taking place on Harper's other side. She looked at me with big eyes, cheeks suddenly flushed, before looking back at Newt. He didn't seem to notice.

"Now, now Minho, are you a little jealous?" Newt winks at me, unwrapping his arm from Harper's shoulder.

"Damn right I am," I mutter under my breath, but neither of them seems to hear it.

"I was just telling her about how bloody marvelous a job with the Trackhoes would be. Now that I have all this free time, happily snoozing in the grass, I have been noticing how relaxing it is. Just picking tomatoes, digging through the dirt, frolicking through the flowers." Newt laughed, before adding, "Never should have become a shucking Runner."

"Yeah, I can see you're already becoming a little chubby, shank," I retorted.

"Little salty, hm?"

Before I could say anything snide in return, Alby came up to our table, shutting the both of us up with a glare.

"Mind if I borrow Newt?" He asked, clearly not taking no for an answer.

As Alby marched off with Newt, I noticed pretty much everyone at the table had their eyes on me. While Dean looked mostly awkward, Lennon looked amused. Christian did his best diverting the attention, trying to tell some story about how he nearly fell through the roof while working on some shed, but to no success.

"Your food's getting cold," I said with a snark, taking a bite of my own.

"Do you two need to talk alone, or ...?" Lennon said, looking between Harper and I.

So he knew. Which probably meant Christian and Dean new as well. Shit.

"No, we're all friends here. No need for you to leave," Harper said, avoiding eye-contact, "Minho and I can talk later."

- # -

"Why did you have to make things complicated like this?" She said, a hint of blame in her voice, as soon as the door to the Map Room slammed shut after us. She leaned back against the center table. Her eyes were so intense, it felt like she could snap my neck just by will.

I scratched the back of my neck, irritated, frustrated and most of all at a loss for words. "I wasn't thinking."

"Well, that definitely wasn't the first time." Ouch.

"Look, why are you so bothered by it? If you want to move on, then you move on," I said, heat rising to my face. I didn't want to raise my voice to her, but I was on the brink of explosion. I stand by the door, keeping a safe distance between us. In a way, we were a danger to each other. Together, we were a force to be reckoned with, but just between us two there was so much insecurity and tension.

She thought for a second, hesitation on her lips like she wasn't sure how to say it. If she could say it. I tried to telepathically beg her to say something, anything. I had to try to console her somehow, so I said, "You really don't have to worry, okay?"

She huffed. "Worry about what?"

"Other people."

"Not worry about how Alby will have another reason not to trust me, because I'm somehow sabotaging his best Runner? Not worry about how Rich is going to tell any boy who will listen that he wasn't really wrong for kissing me, because other boys are doing it too? Not worry about Newt ... thinking we haven't been spending time with him, while he jumped ... he tried ..." Her words got stuck in the back of her throat, along with the lump that she was trying to force down. I really didn't want her to cry, because I probably wouldn't be able to handle it on top of everything else. And because seeing her cry would break my heart.

"But you can't keep on avoiding me. Denying what happened."

"I can try," she said with a small smile, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Or you can just let it go. Are you really going to keep on avoiding me until something happens and you need me again? 'Cause that's what has been happening the last couple of weeks," I said with a sneer, wiping the smile right off of her face again.

"It's not like I'm the only one acting like that. You get angry over everything, and you're so jealous!"

"I'm not jealous," I snapped, but by the cynical laugh that came out of her mouth, I could tell that both of us knew that was a lie.

"Then don't act like such an ass every time you see me with other boys!"

I wanted to say something, but was there really anything I could say that could prove her wrong? "I don't like what happened with Rich. Or with Robin."

"It's not like I did. But I can take care of myself, haven't I shown you that already?" She had shown me that she could do just fine without me, and that hurt me. Much more than I wanted it to, because it wasn't just something you could fix with a band-aid and a pat on the back. I clenched my jaw, forcing that pain away.

"What do you want me to say?" Because I really didn't know now.

She sighed. "I don't know. I don't want things to be weird."

"Well, obviously you've got your regrets, so lets just pretend this never happened," I said, ready to walk out the door.

"I never said I regretted it," she said, quirking up an eyebrow

Cheeky shank.

Maybe I tended to interpret things the wrong way, but I needed nothing more than that look on her face. I lurched forward, taking her in my arms and kissing her before she had the chance to slap me in the face. She stiffened at my touch, probably unsure what to do, before harshly pushing my off of her.

"You're so stupid," she exclaimed, though the smirk that was pulling at her lips told me otherwise.

"Maybe I am," I said with a shrug, "But I really couldn't give a klunk right now." This time, she was the one to kiss me.

- # -

Boys and girls, here I am! Back with another chapter! We got some Minho and Harper, once again, big surprise. I've got something cute (*evilly rubs hands together*) in mind for next chapter, shake things up even more! I didn't really proofread this chapter, so I hope it isn't too bad. Autumn Rabbit, same. I love me some Newt. No coincidence his name rhymes with cute heheh. percabeth9349, how long has it been once again. Damn. I'm already working on the next chapter though, so no worries. I don't know what I ship more to be honest. And half of the reviewers ship Newt and Harper, and the other half ship Minho and Harper, so that isn't really a big help either. I'm just going to see where it goes with all of 'em. As long as it ain't Thomas. Not a super big fan of Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, but I like their music. And I don't really listen that much K-pop (none at all, actually), but I really like BTS' song DNA, sooo... Anyway. What do you guys ship? I mean, Minho's being brave and doing his thing, Newt is a lil shy but still very precious. Lemme know. Until next time!

- paperkite