Chapter 37: Raph Gets Salty

September 18, 2010

Danny sat up, clutching his neck and looking around frantically. He felt a hand on his shoulder, prompting him to grab and twist it. He rose up swiftly as he did so, twisting the person's arm behind their back as they yelled in a mixture of surprise and pain. I know that yell... He frowned, looking down to see it was Dean he had attacked. What's he doing here? And where even is...? He trailed off, looking around to see that he was in the living room of his home, where he had been laying on one of the couches.

Dean made a noise, reminding the hybrid to release him as he looked around in confusion. I remember Mikael and Klaus...I was about to tell Klaus about Katherine before I heard a 'snap.' He quickly realized that – judging from the slowly fading stiffness in his neck – that he had made the snapping sound. Or, rather, his neck had. Despite his curiosity as to who had done it and why, he settled for dealing with the more immediate bewilderment he currently found himself in.

"Dean? What're you doing here?" he questioned, helping the hunter to his feet and glancing at his wrist to make sure he hadn't broken it.

"Yeah, no, my hand's great. Thanks for asking," Dean replied sarcastically, rotating the appendage. "I was nearby, thought you might want in on a case Sam called me about."

"A case? What kind of case?" Danny inquired, his interest piqued.

"No clue. It's in a town called Easter, in PA," Dean informed him. When Danny stared at him, he expounded with, "Look, Sam didn't give me any details, and Kate suggested that I bring you along so you could get a read on him."

"'A read on him'?" Danny repeated. "I'm not a psychic, Dean. I don't 'read people'."

Now it was Dean's turn to stare at him, his eyebrow quirked upward in a gesture of mild disbelief, prompting the hybrid to roll his eyes and say, "Alright, fine – I used to be a psychic. But not a real one. I was faking the whole time to blend in with the carnies. Took Gabriel four months to find me that time."

"So, are you gonna help or not?"

"I would love to, Dean, but I have some problems of my own to deal with. So, if you don't mind, I need to find one or both of my brothers so I can deal with them," Danny told the man, clapping him on the shoulder and beginning to stride past him.

Dean stopped him, taking an envelope out of the inside pocket of his jacket and handing it to him. Danny frowned at it, seeing that the envelope was addressed to 'Big Brother' and was written in Damon's familiar scrawl. The hybrid opened it carefully, taking out the piece of paper and frowning at the words written on it.

Klaus killed Mikael. Stefan and Katherine are in the wind.

Have fun on your trip.

Damon

P.S. Sorry I snapped your neck.

Short, vague, and straight to the point. Only two of those sound like Damon. He chuckled to himself. He reread the last line, debating whether or not he should be pissed that his younger brother had killed him. Again. Deciding that he would figure that out later, he told Dean that he'd be accompanying him on the hunting trip and ran upstairs to change and grab his hunting bag.

"Nik, I know you're lying," Dean said on his phone, getting out of the car. "Because I lie professionally, that's how. Now, tell your mom that you broke the damn thing and take it like a man. Okay? Okay, okay." There was a pause as he walked over to stand in front of Sam. "Yeah, love you too, kiddo."

Dean hung up the phone as Danny walked up beside him, looking Sam up and down with critical eye. Not a shifter, demon, angel, or anything else remotely magical. He nodded with satisfaction. But there is definitely something off about him... the way he carries himself is...different. He tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes slightly as he tried to discern what exactly was different about the man.

It had taken a few hours for the duo to arrive in Easter, and a significantly less amount of time for Dean to change into his Fed outfit and pull up at the police station. Danny had decided to forego the suit and tie deal in favor of an old classic of his: black leather jacket, black jeans, black boots, and a black flannel. Dean had given him a look, to which Danny had reminded the man that if the people he ran into were skeptical as to his identity, he usually just compelled them. The hunter seemed a mixture of disapproving and envious, but ultimately let the subject drop.

"Wow," Sam said, smirking slightly.

"What?" Dean replied, looking up from his phone as he pocketed it.

"You, molding the minds of tomorrow, who knew?" Sam answered, resting an elbow on the spoiler of his black car.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Dean and Danny replied simultaneously, sparing each other a look before Dean held his hand out for the file Sam was holding.

"Hey, Danny, I wasn't expecting to see you here," Sam continued, handing the file to his brother and receiving a noncommittal shrug from the hybrid. "What happened to your eye?"

"Angel fight. I won," Danny replied shortly, his tone making it clear that he didn't want to talk about it.

Sam got the message and instead asked Dean about Kate and the kids. The older Winchester replied that things were 'all good' and the three proceeded to walk inside the police precinct. Sam then began to explain that the victim was 17-year police veteran Officer Gerald Hatch, and that he had been found dead in the ready room three days prior, essentially liquefied.

"...Most of the meat, bones, dense tissues, they just turned to blood," Sam was saying as they entered the morgue, the three of them flashing their fake badges for the guard.

"Okay, I don't get it," Dean replied, looking at the file once more.

"Nobody gets it."

"I think what Dean means is that, if the guy had to be hoovered up, why the hell are we in a morgue?" Danny questioned, receiving a nod of agreement from the shortest of the group.

"Not here to look at him," Sam answered, opening up a freezer drawer.

They lifted the sheet off the guy's face, and Danny gave a mildly disgusted look at the numerous bulbous boils all over the man's face. Sam said that he had just been brought in and that his name was Officer Toby Gray. He had been found dead in his patrol car on the outside of town, lying in wait to speed trap some poor sod. The cause of death had been listed as 'extreme allergic reaction', prompting Danny to give an amused huff. Anaphylaxis this is not.

Dean suggested that it might be witchcraft, prompting Sam to respond with, "That was my first instinct, but I've found zero signs of hex work anywhere. Far as I can tell, witchcraft was not involved."

"Looks a little plague-y to me," Danny input.

"Gotta be some sort of link between, uh, Skidmark and Bubblewrap here," Dean stated, receiving a word of agreement from his brother.

"Well, they were both officers of the law," Danny told them, looking over Dean's shoulder at the M.E.'s notes. "They've probably patrolled together at some point – maybe got involved in something shady?"

"Why does it have to be something shady?" Dean questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Because I don't believe in incorruptible cops – especially not when something this horrendous happens," Danny replied easily. "Revenge is obviously a motive here, so we should look into cases the two were connected to. Should also talk to some other officers in the precinct and get the lowdown on these two – any witnesses we need to look at, Samwise?"

"Yep, uh," Sam began, taking out his notepad and looking at it. "Officer Ed Colfax. Saw Hatch go from a solid to a liquid."

"Another cop?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Hatch's partner," Sam clarified.

"Alright, you guys go have a chat with Officer Ice Cube's partner while I look into some cases they were involved in," Danny instructed them, slamming the drawer closed.

"Who put you in charge?" Sam inquired, a slight sneer on his face.

"I did. Age and experience put me way above your heads, Samantha," Danny smirked, poking the man's nose and receiving a disgruntled look in response.

An hour and a half passed after Danny had parted ways with the brothers to pursue his own line of investigation. He had the EPD send him the old case files of the officers, starting with the most recent ones and checking for any oddities within them. He made his way back to their hotel room and began perusing the files, now and again looking something up on Sam's laptop for clarification on something. During that time, he also contemplated what he would do about Damon.

On one hand, I'm a bit miffed about the whole neck-snapping thing. He mused, setting one file off to the side in the slowly accumulating 'BS pile'. On the other, I'm a tad relieved that I didn't have to choose between my brother and Klaus. He paused, staring at the wall with a slight frown as he briefly pondered why it was even a choice. He loved his brothers, they were his family. So are the Mikaelsons. Another voice retorted. You love them too. They looked out for you – gave you a new home, a new life. They're as much your family as Damon and Stefan are.

"What is it that Bobby likes to say? 'Family don't end in blood'? Yeah, that's it," he finally hummed before turning back to the files.

It was shortly after that that Sam and Dean had returned to the room and told them about the encounter with Colfax. They told him about Christopher Birch, prompting the hybrid to search through the files he hadn't been able to get to yet in search of the case. Meanwhile, they proceeded to inform him about the locusts that had dug a hole in the man's head, slowly killing him.

"You found locusts in the dude's brain matter?" Danny asked in a tone of mild disbelief, receiving a nod of confirmation from the two. "Well, then we're three for three on the plagues."

"Yeah, blood, boils, locusts – that's just awesome," Dean grumbled, sitting down in the chair next to Danny.

"Three of your more popular Egyptian plagues – how did you even call that?" Sam questioned, looking at Danny curiously as he sat on the hybrid's other side.

"'The Mummy' is one of my favorite movies. The plagues feature quite prominently in the second half," he informed them, scanning over another file and putting it off to the side before grabbing another.

"But these guys ate their way out of a cop's melon," Dean said, setting a jar of locusts on the table, much to the disgruntlement of the man looking through the files. "I don't quite remember that in the King James."

"Yeah, the Bible doesn't have everything, Dean. Doesn't even go over evolution – ah hah!" Danny exclaimed, finally finding the right file. "Christopher Birch, got his brains blown out last month after a vehicle pursuit. According to Gray, Hatch, and Colfax, he was brandishing a firearm when he exited the vehicle, forcing them to fire."

"Just a kid with no face and a planted gun," Dean stated, thinking back to Colfax's words. "Bunch of dicks. So, they popped the kid, planted the piece."

"Told you they were shady," Danny reminded him, closing the file.

"Maybe Colfax is right," Sam sighed. "Maybe heaven has a hate on for bad cops."

"Not likely. Heaven's got bigger problems to sort out – they don't really deal with judging douchey cops," Danny informed them, pushing the jar of locusts away from him with a pen.

"Danny's got a point," Dean said, rising from his chair and reaching into the mini-fridge to grab a beer. "Besides, you're listening to the guy with the bug in his custard? That's the, uh, theory you wanna go with?"

"Angels gotta have something to do with this. Biblical plagues and all," Sam responded logically.

Dean and Danny exchanged a look, somewhat agreeing with the statement before Dean advised that they call Cas. Sam informed them that he tried to do so when he got out of the Cage, but that the angel never responded. We had bigger, Raphael-sized problems we needed to solve first... But, if he prayed to Cas, wouldn't that mean he knew Sam was topside? Why wouldn't he tell me? The hybrid's brow furrowed in confusion, suspicion flicking through his mind. If he kept that from me, what else is he keeping hidden? He shook himself from his thoughts. No use wondering about it, best just to ask him.

"Well, let's give it a shot," Dean said from his new spot on the bed, bowing his head and closing his eyes. "Now I lay me down to sleep... I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here."

"You're an idiot," Sam commented with a vague smile.

"Stay positive."

"Oh, I am positive," Sam said before turning to Danny. "Why don't you give it a shot?"

"Oh, uh, okay?" Danny replied, clasping his hands together and frowning, unsure of he was doing this correctly. "Uh, dearest Cassie, I beseech thee to flap thine glorious wings and descend from on high to mingle with us commoners."

When nothing happened, he said in a more authoritative tone, "Castiel, get your ass down here, Imhotep is being a dick. Seriously, it's like plague central down here."

They waited a moment for Castiel to appear. When he did not immediately show, Sam said – in a very snarky tone, "Like I said, ahem, the son of a bitch doesn't answer."

Danny looked past him at the whooshing sound of wings, grinning widely when he saw Castiel had arrived. Sam noticed the look on the other two hunters' faces, prompting him to ask if the angel was behind him. When the two nodded their assent, he turned in his seat and tilted his head up slightly to look at Cas.

"Hello," the angel greeted in his usual monotone manner.

"Hello?" Sam repeated in a tone of disbelief.

"Yes," Cas replied hesitantly, seeming a bit unsure.

Sam exchanged a glance with his brother who shook his head slightly before the taller of the two said in a mocking tone, "Hello. Hello?"

"Uh, that is still the term?" Cas asked in mild confusion, looking at Danny for confirmation.

The hybrid gave him two thumbs up and a broad smile in response.

"I spent all that time trying to get through to you. Danny and Dean call once, and now it's hello?" Sam shouted.

"Yes," Cas sighed, striding further into the room.

"So, what, you like them better or something?"

"The three of us do share a more profound bond.," Cas said, turning to face Sam before turning back to Dean. "I wasn't gonna mention it."

Danny felt a mixture of warmth and confusion at Cas' remark. I get the whole 'profound bond' thing with me. I drink his blood, I fight beside him, and we've saved each other's lives more times than we can count. But what about Dean – oh, right. He 'raised him from perdition' or whatever. Satisfied with the answer, the hybrid leaned back slightly in his chair to quietly observe the conversation. He didn't really fancy getting involved in the Winchesters' beef with the angel, after all.

Dean mentioned how Sam had gone to Hell for them, and berated Cas for not sparing the time to answer his questions. Cas replied that he didn't have any answers, so he was unable to respond to the moose-man. He didn't have any idea who brought Sam back from the Cage or why. Sam asked if it was God, to which the angel answered that God hadn't even been sighted, and that the whole thing was mysterious. That's an odd thing to tack onto the end. Danny frowned, looking at the angel with open curiosity now.

"What the hell does that mean?" Sam questioned, rising from his seat to stand in front of the angel.

"What part of 'I don't know' escapes your understanding?" Cas replied, stepping closer to the man.

Danny stood up slightly, prepared to intervene in case things got too heated. Dean defused the situation a bit, telling the angel to answer if Sam called. He's not a fucking dog, Dean. Danny thought irritably, holding back the comment.

"... You wing your ass down here and you tell him 'I don't know'," Dean stated, also rising from his chair. "Just because we have some sort of bond or whatever -"

"You think I came because you called?" Cas asked rhetorically. "I came because Danny only calls when there's an emergency – and this counts as one."

Danny grinned widely at this, his smile only faltering slightly when the angel picked up the jar of locusts to examine it. Dean then said, "Well, it's nice to know what matters."

"It does help one to focus," the two immortals replied simultaneously.

"Wait, so you and the Halo Patrol, you guys aren't the cause of these killings?" Sam asked with a frown.

"No. But they were committed with one of our weapons," Cas informed them. "There's only one thing that could have brought this into existence."

"You mean the staff of Moses?" Danny inquired, receiving looks that were somewhere between curiosity, astonishment, and mild disbelief. "What? Just because the Bible's full of garbage doesn't mean I haven't read it."

Cas was the first to shake off his surprise, saying, "It was used in a dominance display against the Egyptians, as I recall."

"Yeah, slaughter of the first-born child, frogs, locusts, boils, blood. All the greatest hits," Danny rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, that one made the papers," Dean added.

"I thought the staff turned, like, a river into blood, not one dude," Sam stated in a confused tone.

Danny frowned at this, meeting Cas' gaze as they both seemed to reach the same conclusion: the weapon wasn't at full power. That rules Moses out. Danny snickered as Castiel told the Winchesters as much. Dean asked what the stick was doing down on Earth, prompting the angel to respond that – in the ensuing chaos following the aversion of the apocalypse – that several weapons had been stolen. Cas then asked for their help, receiving a chuckle from Sam as he replied with 'that's rich'. With an angry look, the angel tossed the jar of locusts into the man's hands.

"Sam, Dean, my 'people skills', are 'rusty'," Cas began in an angry tone, heavily using quotation marks with his fingers. "Pardon me, but I have spent the last 'year' as a multi-dimensional wavelength of celestial intent. But believe me, you do not want that weapon down here. Help me find it, or more people will die."

The three hunters stared at him before Danny said, "Remind me to give you a lesson on the proper use of finger quotations, Cassie. First lesson: don't use them." He then reopened Birch's file. "Now, pop a squat, boys, we got some research to do."

Within a minute, it became apparent that they needed to question Birch's father, who had asked for an investigation following his son's death. Cas teleported the Winchesters to his house, leaving Danny – who couldn't enter the home without being invited in anyway – behind. The hybrid decided to clean up a bit in that time, gathering up loose papers and placing them in a neat pile on the table. He then glanced around, bored out of his mind now that his only task had been completed. He walked over to the bed closest to the wall, falling back on it and staring up at the ceiling blankly.

"Portability," Cas' gruff voice sounded close by.

"Holy shi – wait, who's the kid?" Danny asked, startled by the sudden reappearance of Cas – who had a young boy flung over his right shoulder - and the Winchesters.

As Cas placed the boy on the bed that wasn't taken, Dean pointed out that he kidnapped the kid. Cas told them that if the angel they sought bought the boy's soul, then a brand could be found on said soul. Angels buying souls? Are crossroad angels a thing now? What the hell did I miss? Danny frowned, deciding to keep his mouth shut so he would find out just what was going on.

Cas said that he could read the mark by touching the boy's soul. Danny winced sympathetically, placing his hand over his chest as he recalled Lucifer reaching in there to unite his soul with the vestiges of angelic Grace in his body. Dean argued against the idea, as did Danny, for obvious reasons. Sam, however, said that it needed to be done. It was very out of character for the usually gentle and empathetic giant, leading Danny to believe that Kate might be right about there being something off with him.

"You're gonna torture a kid?" Dean asked incredulously.

"I can't care about that, Dean," Cas informed him before turning to meet Danny's gaze, willing him to understand. "I don't have the luxury."

Danny turned his head away as Cas sunk his hand into the boy's chest, causing him to scream loudly. Is the war with Raphael really worth this, Cas? Is it worth causing this boy pain? Are we really winning if we're becoming the people we're fighting against? For the first time since their crusade began, Danny began to have doubts. He struggled to push them away, knowing that thinking about it wouldn't do him much good – he had given his word to help Castiel win the war against Raphael. No matter what the cost may be. He continued bitterly, turning his head back as the screams ceased. I may not be able to take away my memories, but...

He held his hand out to Cas, his expression serious as he met the angel's gaze. Cas hesitated for a moment before procuring a vial of his blood from the inside of his coat. Danny downed the vial in one go before placing his fingers on the sides of the boy's head and allowing the power to flow through him. He reached into his mind, plucking the fresh memory of Cas touching his soul from his mind. The memory taken, he pulled back, severing his connection to his magic as he did so. At least you won't have to carry this around, kid. Should save your parents money on years of therapy bills.

"What the hell did you do?" Dean demanded.

"I took away his memory of the incident. He won't remember us or the pain of having his soul touched," Danny informed him. "There should be no lasting psychological or emotional damage."

"Did you get a name? What is it?" Sam interrogated, keeping to the task at hand.

"I thought he died in the war," Cas said, walking away from the boy as he rolled down his sleeve.

"What, he was a friend or something?" Moose tried to clarify.

"A good friend," Cas sighed.

"Your frat buddy is now moonlighting as a crossroads demon," Dean told him.

"Balthazar, I wonder -"

"So, we can find him now, right?" Sam asked.

"Balthazar," a new voice stated, prompting everyone to turn and see a man in a suit. "Thanks, Castiel, we'll make good use of the name."

Dammit. Danny snarled rushing forward and allowing his angel blade to fall from his sleeve to his right hand – a useful trick Cas had taught him. He and his friend brought up their blades, deflecting the angel's downward strike. He swiped to the side, only to be blocked once more by Danny as Castiel ducked. The angel knocked Danny away with a wave of his free hand, catching him by surprise and sending him flying into the wall. Cheating bitch. I really, really hate angels.

Cas only spared him a glance before he had to raise his blade once more to parry the angel's attack. The angel then informed the duo that Raphael said 'hello'. I doubt he said that. Danny thought bitterly, rising to his feet. He never says anything to me without throwing three or four insults into the mix. Danny prepared himself to jump back into the fray, when Cas shoved the angel away before disarming him and plunging them both out the window. Danny vamped over, raising an eyebrow and smirking when he noticed that the two had landed on Sam's car.

"You alright, Cas?" Danny called as the Winchesters ran to his side.

Castiel groaned before slowly moving off the car, not noticing the other angel disappear as he did so. Dean commented that the silver lining was that the car was destroyed, receiving a glare from his brother and a chuckle from Danny. Cas then reappeared in the room and began searching the cabinets.

"Alright, Cas, who was that guy?" Sam questioned as the trio followed the angel.

"Soldier of Raphael," the two immortals replied simultaneously. Cas then further expounded with, "He must have followed me when I answered your call."

"Raphael? The archangel?" Sam clarified.

"No, the ninja turtle," Danny replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Yes, the bloody archangel."

"I'm sorry, what's going on here?" Sam asked.

"I can explain later," Cas answered, placing a bowl down on the table. "Right now, we have to -"

"No, not later, now," Dean said, impeding his progress as he held a hand out to stop him. "Stop, alright? There're too many angels, Cas. I don't know who's on first, what's on second -"

"Baseball reference," Danny supplied, cutting off his friend's question.

"What have you told them?" Cas questioned the hybrid, receiving a noncommittal shrug in response. "It is simple, Raphael and his followers, they want him to rule heaven. I and many others, the last thing we want is to let him take over. It would be catastrophic."

"You're talking civil war," Sam stated.

"Not the first one I've been in. But I like the side I chose this time," Danny gave a half-bitter smirk.

"Wait, you're part of this too?" Sam demanded before comprehension dawned on his face. "Raphael did that to you, didn't he?"

"Yep. I paid him back for it – put him out of commission for a bit," Danny grinned, still proud of his accomplishment.

"We have to find Balthazar and his weapons before Raphael does," Cas continued, walking over to the bed Danny had been laying on and pulling out his duffel bag from underneath it. "Whoever has the weapons wins the war."

"What happens if Raphael wins?" Dean asked the inevitable question. "I mean, what does he want?"

"Apocalypse: Take two," Danny replied for the angel, watching as he sifted through his bag. "He wants to restart the apocalypse."

"Why?" Dean asked slowly.

"I need myrrh," Cas said, turning around and holding a box and a flask of holy water in his hands.

"Try the nearest church – or Jerusalem," Danny suggested as Sam repeated the word.

Cas disappeared before returning behind them a second later. He drew a circle and some symbols on the table as Dean repeated his previous question. Cas replied that Raphael was a 'traditionalist', causing Dean to ask why the angel hadn't told them about any of this. Cas hesitated, looking at Danny and receiving an encouraging nod from the hybrid. He nodded slightly in return before telling the hunters that he was ashamed.

"I expected more from my brothers," he said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

There was a pause as Dean looked at Sam before Cas reached over and grabbed his hand, stating that he needed the hunter's blood. Despite Dean's protests, Cas cut his palm over the bowl and threw a few rock-like objects in there before he began chanting in Enochian. Danny missed some of it, but what he managed to pick out translated to something along the lines of 'appear to me, Balthazar'. Or, at least, he thought it did. His Enochian was a little rusty.

Cas finished his chant as he poured holy water over the concoction, causing faint tendrils of smoke to rise above the bowl. They began to hear police sirens approaching, prompting Sam to ask how long this would take. The angel continued to stare into the bowl before he told them he had the location. Dean asked about the kid, to which Cas replied that the police would take him home. He then teleported the three hunters to a very nice abode whose roof tiles led Danny to believe they were somewhere in Florida – or maybe Mexico.

"Huh. I was expecting more Dr. No, less Liberace," Dean commented.

Danny would have agreed with the statement, were he not bent over double trying to reorient himself. The three watched him for a moment before he shook himself and led the way toward the house. He and Cas separated from the Winchesters, allowing them to set traps while they made their way to the front door. Danny paused at the entryway, waving a hand over threshold before sighing in relief and stepping inside.

The two immortals took a moment to pause and look at each other as loud music blared throughout the house. A loud croak caught the hybrid's attention, prompting him to look up and raise his eyebrows at the amphibian. Frog. Guess we're in the right place. Danny nodded before vamping up the stairs after Cas, who had teleported to the top.

The two followed the music, stopping at a pair of double doors that Castiel opened. Differently colored lights illuminated the otherwise dark almost bare room, giving Danny the vibe that he was at a club. He frowned at the grand piano on the miniature stage, feeling that it was a bit out of place in the club-esque room. As the two strolled further into the room, the doors closed behind them, prompting them to turn around and draw their blades.

"Cas," a familiar voice called, drawing their attention. "You're here. And you must be Daniel, the Nephilim. I've heard so much about you."

Danny turned more slowly, eyes widening in shock at who was standing there. Mikael? But...I thought Klaus killed him? He narrowed his eyes, before allowing his magic to activate in his left eye. The figure on stage glowed brightly, his wings unfurled on either side of him as he stood there. Not Mikael then, that's a relief. Must be Balthazar. He relaxed somewhat at this thought, releasing the flow of magic as he did so, but did not let his guard down.

"Balthazar," Cas stated, confirming the hybrid's suspicion.

"It's so good to see you," Balthazar smiled. "He told me you were floating around."

"He?" Cas questioned.

"I believe you two have flown together," Balthy chuckled, pointing at the now deceased angel from earlier laying near the end of the room.

Balthazar snapped, ceasing the music and turning on the lights, just as a frog began to crawl out of the dead angel's mouth. "Well, you know, the old frog in the throat."

"Hilarious," Danny rolled his eyes, though he could not help but smile in vague amusement.

"Even I know that's a bad joke," Cas commented. "I grieved your death."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry about that, you know," Balthazar said, striding towards them with a drink in his right hand. "I wanted them to think, you know, so they wouldn't come looking for me."

"What is all this?" Castiel asked in confusion. "What are you doing?"

"Whatever I want," the Mikael look-alike said. "This morning, I had a ménage à – what's French for twelve?"

"Douze," Danny supplied, receiving a look from Castiel and a 'thanks' from Balthazar.

"You stole the staff of Moses," Cas reminded him, getting the conversation back on track.

Balthazar didn't deny it, and even admitted to having stolen a lot of things. Cas read him the riot act, citing that he had once been an honorable soldier and that they had fought together. Balthazar agreed with the statement, prompting Cas to say that he knows that he's not some common thief. Common? No. Thief? Eh. Danny thought, snickering to himself when Balthy voiced those exact thoughts.

Cas then said that he needed his help, to which Balthazar replied that he'd heard everything and that nothing had changed between them – they were still brothers – and he wanted to help him. Cas thanked him and then asked for the weapons, to which Balthazar had to refuse. Cas then asked the important questions: why did he take them and why did he run away?

"Because I could," Balthazar informed them.

"Y'know, when you really think about it, it's a good thing Balthazar stole the weapons," Danny began in a thoughtful tone, receiving looks from the two angels. "Imagine if he hadn't? Raphael could've gotten to them before us and we'd have been done for."

Castiel nodded, conceding the point before turning his hard stare back to Balthazar. Balthy then elaborated on what he had said earlier. Cas helping avert the apocalypse had prompted Balthazar to follow after him and rebel, doing whatever he liked with his newfound freedom – including stealing the weapons. Cas voiced his disapproval of Balthazar's choices.

"Hey, screw it, right? I mean, dad's not coming back," Balthy said, walking away from the two. "You might as well blow coke and jump on the bed. You proved to me that we could do anything, so I'm trying everything."

"That's all well and good," Danny began, drawing their attention once more. "But what happens when the coke and ménage à douzes cease to be enough – because they will cease to be enough. What will you do then? Return to Heaven? Delve deeper into hedonism and debauchery? Take it from someone who knows, once you climb down that road, it's difficult to climb back up – especially when you're on your own."

"Who says I'll be on my own?" Balthazar countered.

"Who says you won't?" Danny shot back. "If Raphael wins this war, you will be on your own. Heaven won't be a place you'll want to return to. All of your friends will be dead or turned against you. The only chance you have for survival is to stand with us now and resume your life of general chaos and fuckery once we've defeated Raph." He took a step closer. "Fight with us, Balthazar. Give us the weapons."

Balthazar stared at him for a moment before saying, "You're quite persuasive, I'll give you that. But you know what I find hilarious? You and your boyfriend actually believe you can stop the fighting." Miraculously, Danny kept the redness from his face at this statement. "It will never stop. My advice, grab something valuable and fake your own death."

"You've gone insane," Cas told him. "Your little holiday is over. Raphael knows you're alive by now."

"Oh, Raphael can try me anytime. I'm armed," Balthazar stated arrogantly. "I'm sorry, Cas. All else aside, I'm really, really happy to see you. Even though you still have that stick up your ass. And Daniel -"

The rest of the angel's statement was interrupted by the crashing sound of thunder outside. Simultaneously, Danny felt a bolt of pain shoot through his eye and his left hand, and he clutched both with a groan as he fell to his knees. Raphael. The two angels seemed to draw the same conclusion, as Balthazar swiftly disappeared with a snap of his fingers – though not before asking them to tell Raphael to bite him. When the lights went off, Cas grabbed Danny by the shoulders and hauled him up before walking him over to the piano. He hid Danny behind the piano, instructing him to stay low and out of sight.

It didn't take long for an angel to appear. Cas tried to talk him down from fighting. When that failed, Cas threw his blade into the angel's chest, killing him instantly. Holy shit. Nice shot, Cassie. Danny couldn't help but think, momentarily startled out of his pain. The pain returned, but was swiftly replaced by anger when Raphael appeared behind angel, grabbing him by his hair and tilting his head back. He said a few words before throwing him through the double doors and following after him.

"Where. Is. The. Abomination?" Raphael asked, puncturing each word with a kick to the face or stomach.

When Cas didn't answer, the archangel picked him up off the ground and began punching him in the face before throwing him down the stairs. Unable to stand the sight of Castiel getting his ass handed to him, Danny smothered his pain and called forth unbridled rage to take its place as he vamped toward Raphael and tackled him over the banister.

The two landed on the floor below, which quickly became covered in ice as Danny rose to his feet, not bothering to keep his power in check anymore.

"Speak of the Devil and he shall appear," Danny grinned maliciously, holding out his arms as his face vamped out.

"Finally got tired of hiding like a coward?" Raphael questioned with a sneer, rising to his own feet, his breath curling in the cold air.

"I was following orders, actually. Then I thought: only losers and dumbasses blindly follow orders," Danny's glowing eyes took on a devilish twinkle. "And I ain't a Raphael. Also, Balthazar says 'bite me'."

Raphael's face contorted in fury as he raised his blade, prepared to rush over and strike. He was stopped, however, when Balthazar appeared behind him and called out to him.

"Look at my junk," the angel stated, holding up a stone.

Danny cast his eyes downward, away from the stone as it began to glow. He managed to see Raphael's vessel turn into a pillar of salt, at least before it slowly started to crumble. When all that was left was salt and clothing, Danny reined his power back in before jogging up the stairs and helping Cas to his feet. The angel stared at him with an unreadable expression before allowing himself to be led down the stairs to face Balthazar, who was chuckling at his achievement.

"Same thing happened to Lot's wife," the angel informed them. "Iodize the poor sucker and your kitchen is stocked for life."

"I knew Raph was salty, but this is just ridiculous," Danny shook his head dramatically, smirking all the while. "You wouldn't happen to have a jar, would you?"

"You're not actually going to use him for seasoning, are you?" Castiel inquired.

"No, but he'll make a nice trophy, I reckon," Danny replied with a lopsided smile.

Balthazar informed him that there was a rather large jar in one of the cupboards in the kitchen. With a nod of thanks, the hybrid vamped toward the direction he was pointing and soon arrived in the kitchen. He took a few minutes to search through the cupboards before finally finding a decent-sized jar to put Raphael in. He took his time walking back to the foyer, frowning when he heard Dean yelling about angels. When he finally arrived at his destination, only the two Winchesters remained.

"What'd I miss?" he questioned.

A/N:

Questions, comments, concerns, criticisms, etc. are welcome. Requests for updates are not. (Seriously, gives me really bad anxiety when I see them.)