A/N - Idea credit goes to Daughter of Khione.
Aphrodite Gains Weight: As of last Sunday, Aphrodite has been gaining weight rapidly. The goddess blames Hermes.
Aphrodite: HERMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Hermes: I like the S's. There're...twenty? SSSSSSSS!
Martha: Sounds like a snake.
George: It does. What does a rat sound like?
Martha: Squeak squeak squeak?
George: Hey Aphrodite, maybe do a squeak? I'm hungry. Or maybe you could donate a rat to the GeorgeIsHungry fund?
Aphrodite: HERMES, SHUT YR SNAYKS UP
Hermes: No need for caps lock.
George: Yeah, lady, no need for caps lock... But yes need for snakes! The GeorgeIsHungry fund needs some participants.
Martha: Don't be rude, George.
George: Why not? I'm hungry.
Aphrodite: IT WAS HRMES! ZUES HE GAYV ME EETABLZ
Hermes: Does anyone know what an eetablz is?
Martha: Maybe she means eatables. Maybe they should install the Aphrodite-to-English translator again.
George: Maybe all of Olympus should donate to the GeorgeIsHungry fund.
Hermes: The what?
George: The GeorgeIsHungry fund. Do you have any donations?
Hermes: Donations?
George: Rats.
Hermes: Not right now.
Aphrodite: HRMS HOW CULD YOU IM THA GODIS OF BEUTY YOU MAYD ME FFFFFFF...FFF...FFFAAA...
Hermes: Fat? Weren't you always?
Aphrodite: HHHHEERRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSS!
Hermes: I'm afraid she's a bit...traumatized.
Aphrodite: BECUZ U MAYD ME EET THINGZ THAT MAYD ME...FAT!
Hermes: *Giggles*
Athena: So it was you.
Artemis: Are you surprised?
Athena: Not really.
Artemis: Aren't men immature?
Athena: Yes. Hermes especially.
Artemis: And Apollo.
Apollo: I will express my anger in a haiku! Yay!
Did you just call me
Immature? But I am so
Mature, sis you're not
Artemis: Learn to make a good haiku, please.
Apollo: Grr.
Sis, that was a good
Haiku how could you say that
It was not so good?
Artemis: Hmm, let me think... Because it wasn't.
Apollo: But -
Hephaestus: No more haikus.
Apollo: But -
Hephaestus: Or I'll cut your connection.
Apollo: But -
Hermes: Cut his connection? Oh - Internet. Hahaha! Do it! Do it! Ban him!
Apollo: But -
Hermes: Or maybe I'll -
(Error. Page not found. No service. Your computer is no longer connected to OlympusNet.)
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Hephaestus: Really, Hermes?
Hermes: What?
Hephaestus: Disconnecting the OlympusNet.
Hermes: Oh, yeah, sorry...wait, how is it back?
Hephaestus: Unfortunately for you, I know how to deal with Internet and Internet access failures.
Hermes: Oh...
Athena: Speaking of men acting immaturely...
Artemis: Can someone cut Apollo's Internet?
Hephaestus: With pleasure.
Apollo: Hey, wait a moment, you can't just
Hephaestus: Actually, I can. Hermes, did you really give Aphrodite eatables to make her gain weight?
Hermes: Why would I do that?
Aphrodite: BECUZ YER HRMS AND U LIEK PLAYNG PRANX AN THATS MEAN LUK WAT UVE DUN TO ME HRMES!
Martha: Please, enough with the caps lock.
George: Yes, you're giving me a headache. And it's worse, because I'm hungry, and my head hurt before you started...hint hint...rats?
Martha: Hermes, you did give her the eatables, you should just admit it.
Hermes: No! Don't tell -
Zeus: Hermes, did you really -
Hermes: George, Martha! Say I didn't!
Martha: He wants me to say he didn't.
Zeus: But he did?
Martha: If I say he did, he'll -
Hermes: I'll give you both a rat - um, George and Martha, not you, Zeus - if you tell him I didn't!
George: I didn't.
Hermes: Hermes did not give Aphrodite eatables!
George: Hermes did not give Aphrodite eatables.
Martha: Hermes did not give Aphrodite eatables.
(Alert. An entry with the same content has already been posted.)
Martha: Fine, I'll say it again. Hermes did not give Aphrodite eatables.
Zeus: Bribing your snakes does not make them witnesses.
Hermes: I didn't give her the eatables!
Zeus: You did.
Hermes: I would never -
Zeus: Yet you did.
Aphrodite: HE DID ZUES HE GAVE ME THEM AN MAYD ME EET THEM
Zeus: The only valid witnesses testify against you, Hermes.
Hermes: I never did anything to her!
Zeus: Swear on the River Styx.
Hermes: Uh...
Hephaestus: I'm going to close this discussion before anything happens.