Chapter 37

This year she didn't bother to search for Ginny, Romilda, and Mary. She followed Draco, going into the nearby compartment where Tracy Davis and Rachel Bulstrode sat. It was where she had always belonged but never wanted to.

But this was what Hogwarts held for her now.

Ginny and Mary hated her, and she couldn't blame Romilda for siding with them. Not when her father was a muggle and Romilda's mother was pureblood. It had placed a target on their backs. Romilda's mother had been a part of the McDougal family. Her cousin, Isobel McDougal, went to school with them. But the girl had steadfast ignored Romilda. Acting as if she wasn't even there. She was two years above them and everything a pureblood should be. She was a Ravenclaw, quite strange but still acceptable. Very clever and blaséd about most things, except when it came to her roots.

Romilda liked to pretend Isobel didn't exist.

It was easier that way.

The train ride to Hogwarts had never been so boring. Tracy Davis and Rachel Bulstrode gossiped about people the entire time. Part of the ride Lyra had fallen asleep, and had woken up with just enough time to change her clothes.

After dinner she headed up to her room early, deciding to get a head start on unpacking her clothes. Her plan of action was to ignore her old friends if she saw them. They were sure to do the same, except Ginny maybe. Sometimes Ginny enjoyed a good fight or two. She was too hot headed for her own good at times.

She'd almost finished by the time they got to the dorms. They were much quieter than usual, and had gone completely silent upon seeing her on the floor placing her undergarments in the top drawer. Lyra didn't dare look at them, and after a moment they got their bearings and walked the rest of the way into the dormitory. Ginny remained silent, but Mary and Romilda began whispering to each other.

"I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Mary and Romilda became mute. Lyra remained tensed, unable to turn around.

"I was angry, and hurt. I just- you were there so I blamed you," Ginny said with a soft laugh that lacked amusement. "I saw that blonde hair and Malfoy name and suddenly you became the enemy, and I'm sorry."

Lyra turned slightly, placing a stray hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry too."

Ginny nodded, unpacking some of the things from her trunk. "But that still doesn't change some things. We're still on different sides of this war."

Lyra stood up, turning to sit down on her bed with crossed knees.

"You love your family, and that's understandable. I don't expect you to rat them out, but things can't go back to the way they used to be either," Ginny continued.

"I understand," Lyra whispered.

"I-" Ginny trailed off wordlessly. "Things are really complicated right now."

A pregnant pause sat between them, only disturbed by Romilda.

"I'm going to try out for the Quidditch team this year."

Mary snorted. "But you're rubbish at Quidditch."

"Quidditch isn't what I'm after, if you catch my drift." Romilda rolled her brows suggestively, making all of them laugh.

The next day was boring, if a bit stressful. Filled with teachers telling them how tough their OWLs would be and what was expected of them. It took Lyra almost the entire day to realize it didn't really matter what she got. Her "career path" was already chosen. More like preordained. She would try to get good grades, but she wouldn't worry herself silly over them. It was pointless.

She noticed Draco in the library at odd hours, requesting for everyone to leave him alone so he could do his research. It wasn't like him to study so much, but then when the Dark Lord demands something of a person, he or she doesn't ask themselves how much in character it is for them to do that task: they simply do it. His word was law, and that's all there was to it.

Colin watched her. He didn't appear to be angry with her anymore. She wasn't sure what he felt, but that hate would have been better for him. He would have stayed away with it. There would be no chance of his feelings remaining then.

A few days later he began gesturing for her to follow him. She astutely ignored him. It was for his own good, she reasoned. She would avoid Colin, keep away from him. Perhaps he would move on and find a nice, uncomplicated girl that he could be with.

It would hurt so much to see that, but at least that would mean she wouldn't pain him as well.

Night was when she shed her tears. She worried about her father and how he was doing, what would happen to Draco if he failed his task. She mourned the loss of her friends. They didn't ignore her anymore, but they had lost that closeness. Now they were more like acquaintances, and she wasn't sure if that hurt more than their scorn.

She thought about Colin.

How much she missed his lips and his eye smiles. How carefree and happy he was, even all the photographs he used to take of her. It would feel better to move on, that lump in her chest that came when the moon was high would vanish and she would be happier for it.

But she couldn't bring herself to let go.

She knew Colin was tenacious. He would corner her and eventually get what he wanted out of her. But she had to prolong that for as long as possible. He was always so convincing, and she was never very strong when it came to him. He only had to demand it and she would give.

Almost two weeks into the trimester Lyra's prophecy came true.

"What are… hmmf!" A hand covered her mouth, dragging her into a near class room. The hands let her go hastily and she darted for her wand. "Who do you think you're …."

Her wand went limp in her hand as she stared at the boy she had taken the time to memorize all last year. He was watching her with a guilty expression on his face, scuffing his shoes awkwardly.

"I needed to talk to you," he said once he cleared his throat.

"You- you can't just kidnap me," she said as soon as she got her bearings. She placed her wand back in its holster, fixing her bag. "I have to go."

He stepped resolutely in front of the door, a stubborn look upon his face. "Not until I get out what I need to." When she went to disagree with him, he continued, "I deserve that much."

She winced, taking a step back and bumping into the back of a chair.

"I have to talk to you Lyra. You, you know I care about you."

"You shouldn't," Lyra interrupted in an even tone.

"I do though. I care about you so much," he said, his eyes pleading with hers. "You never truly explained why, why," he trailed off wordlessly.

"Why I broke up with you?" She shook her head. "Colin, I'm betrothed. That is not changing."

"Then tell me you love him as much as you love me. Tell me that you love him at least half as much as I do you and I'll back off," he said stubbornly.

She closed her eyes, attempting to vanish the tears swelling in her eyes. "Merlin, not everything is about love Colin! Sometimes it takes a little more than that!"

"No it doesn't! You love me and I love you! That's all that should matter!"

"I'm sorry Colin, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry! I should have never done this with you. I was… weak willed. I wanted more than I could have, and every day I knew I should end it with you but I never could bring myself to do it."

"And what does that tell you Lyra?" he asked, taking a step forward and taking her hands in his. "What do you think that means? That what we have isn't important? Lyra, I'll fight for you."

"I know you will, but that's not what you need." It wasn't what they could afford, not with the Dark Lord.

His hands clenched around hers and then let her loose. Colin paced in front of her, rubbing at his chin in thought. He took a deep breath in, running his hands through his hair in frustration before turning back to her. "Do you know the exact moment when I began to think I might actually have a chance with you? It was at the Gryffindor common room, after Harry had won the second task. There was this look you gave me… I had to take a picture of it so that later on I could prove to myself I wasn't imagining it."

She winced. She remembered that moment too, how her belly had filled with warmth and her heart had fluttered. She hadn't realized what it was then, or perhaps she had been in denial about it.

"I do care about you Colin, but that isn't enough. If you haven't realized it yet a war is looming in on us. We can't… it would never work. If they didn't- if they don't hurt me they would definitely hurt you. You should forget me, don't remember a single thing about me. It's for the best," she said roughly.

He winced, the wounded expression piercing her in a way she could only blame herself for. "But I could never forget you."

Their eyes held, and in that moment they understood each other in a way they never had before. Colin saw that no matter what he said she would go through with her marriage with Flint, and Lyra realized that even the harshest of words would not deter his feelings. He had given his heart to her, and he only asked that she didn't destroy it.

The only thing she could do was give him hers.

Today felt a bit different than most, more hopeful, but only because it was her birthday. It couldn't be too horrible, could it?

After getting dressed Romilda had given Lyra a jar of her favorite candy, Sour Apple Bites. Mary had bought her a book on Charms, which Lyra would at least peruse out of curiosity. Ginny had pulled her aside, slipping Lyra a beaded bracelet telling her that a protection spell was laced into it. Lyra had thanked her immensely, but Ginny was careful to make clear only simple spells would be repelled, such as malicious pranks or a weak curse.

When she sat down for breakfast she received an owl from her mother, filled with beauty spells and potions. Lyra had grinned, sending a short letter expressing her thanks. These spells were more complicated, and some of the spells she had never heard of. She was exited to begin experimenting with her new items.

Draco had been sweet enough to give her a bouquet of flowers, an embarrassed blush burning through his cheeks as he did. Lyra didn't quite have a favorite plant, but all of the one's he had given her were simply stunning. She made sure to charm the flowers to whither slowly after she had placed them on her dresser.

After doing a bit of light reading from the book her mother had given her she had to go to charms. Unfortunately, Luna was not in this class, the Hufflepuffs were. So she was alone for it, stuck watching her friends interact with one another.

It wasn't until night fell that she received an owl from Marcus. A letter and a gift. Lyra was impatient, so she opened the present first. It was a beautiful sapphire bracelet with diamonds inlaid in it. She had stared at it in a moment of disbelief. He had never bought her something like that before. It was always candy, little knick-nacks; the occasional book. Jewelry was a first, and instead of feeling happiness a sense of perverse dread spread through her dizzily. She unfolded the letter, patting the crinkles out of it.

My Dearest Lyra,

You are now sixteen. Only a year from now you will be an adult, and it has been quite a journey. I saw this piece of jewelry and thought of you and your eyes. They shine just like yours do, and it was only fitting.

You will be happy to know I've finally made a decision. You asked me this summer if I planned on joining his pledge, and I am proud to inform you that I, let us say, have become his full-fledged employee…

The letter dipped out of her hand, twirling in tight circles until it hit the floor in a clash of white.

A/N: I totally planned on updating yesterday but ended up working longer than expected, cooking dinner, and then watching a show with my roommate. By that time it was already eleven, but at least it's getting out today!

Guest Comments:

Allie- Thanks! ^_^

Guest 1- Haha I know I would have by now. She's already gotten pretty close. Actually, she did snap once already.

Guest 2- Yes, no, no! :P