Author's Notes: Zer0JMB -- That deduction is the reason I enjoy leaving things unspoken sometimes :) It's just not something I would have thought of. Normally I don't say anything definite, but for coming up with that, I'll tell you no that's not the case. Wish I'd thought of it, but no. As to Asuka, yeah, after what she's been through basically the entire story, she deserves some happiness imo.

The next few paragraphs are just a little about history and writing style, it's not necessary to read it unless you wish.

Fanf1cFan -- Actually, as I was rereading part of the story, your previous question is partially answered. In chapter 34 when Ritsuko first sees the pilots at such a high ratio (when one of the techs mentions that Shinji is at the contamination limit early), she indeed pulls them out. So simply pulling them out doesn't hurt them. Of course, by then, both he and Rei had completed their business, and were happily embracing, so it still leaves a little bit of a question, but that's part of a story, neh?

You are indeed correct in your comments about writing oneself into a corner. Don't worry, sometimes I make things sound mysterious, or something, but it's not as bad as it sounds. I don't have a complete outline or anything, but I do have a series of events that I know will happen, and so I know what would conflict with them, and what to avoid. It's just up to me to put them in order and write the intervening material between each key scene.

This being my first story, at the beginning (part one) I was still very nervous about it, which is partly why I relied heavily on the scripted scenes, inserting my own content into it. By part two I had grown more confident, and was starting to write on my own, looking to the script just to find out what was going on and to stay on track. It wasn't really until the last half of part two that I actually started writing almost exclusively my own material, and using the scripted tv-show just as filler.

If you ask me, my biggest mistake has been leaving the rest of the cast 2d. Truthfully, I don't see an easy way around it, since they are indeed 2d and must remain that way, not being able to remember things between resets, and thus unable to grow. The only mitigating factor is that most of the time now is spent in the end of the series, where everyone has grown somewhat anyway. Who knows, perhaps in such a situation such a small group would indeed become extremely insular, finally all but ignoring the outside world as they progress and grow.

Anyway, thanks for the feedback.

May you have a good read... ;-)

Chapter 37

The four pilots headed for the locker rooms to change into their plug suits for the harmonics test that had been scheduled for today. Asuka watched as Touji walked out in front of the group. He had seemed jittery for the past few days, and was in a rush for some reason. She briefly wondered why, before turning her mind back to the problem at hand. Shinji and Rei walked some distance ahead of her, hand in hand, almost leaning into each other as they walked. Even now she could feel the longing between them.

Having felt the longing slowly building in intensity over the past week, she knew well that it wasn't really a sexual longing. If they had done... that... she would have felt it as well. Not that she would have minded them having sexual relations (well, except for the little detail of their age), especially after all Shinji had done for her. Without the link, she knew that, no matter how much she had grown, she would still have been jealous at some level. But being linked to them, it changed things somehow. She didn't know how. By all rights, she should be even more jealous, logically speaking (since the connection allowed her to fully see and feel Shinji and Rei's love for each other). But the bond somehow alleviated that.

Well, she didn't care how it worked, because she felt better about herself than she had ever felt before. Indeed, she wouldn't even be thinking about it at all, except for the spill-over from their longing. Maybe the physical contact between them helped them deal with it, but it was affecting her a whole lot worse. She crossed her arms against her chest, trying to suppress the sudden heat that was rising within her. It wasn't that the feelings themselves were all that intense, but that they were always there, gnawing away at her defenses.

In the locker room, she took her time, letting Rei (who was methodical and efficient as usual) finish and leave first. When she heard the door shut, she walked over, collapsing against a locker and sliding to the floor. She reached a hand into her underwear, and put the other hand over her mouth, trying to suppress the moan that threatened to escape. She squeezed her eyes shut, touching the sensitive spot in her nether regions, and shuddering as intense waves of pleasure coursed through her. Gasping for breath as the pressure built up within her, she finally peaked, and let out an involuntary cry of relief, sagging against the locker. She lay there for a few moments, regaining her breath. While it felt good, it was kind of annoying to have to do it a couple of times a day just to stay sane. The longing had subsided to a quiet hum, to begin working on her again. She slowly lifted herself to a standing position, and tottered over to put on her plug-suit.

"Shinji, we've got to do something about this," Asuke mentally sent. She sat in her entry plug, still slightly flushed from her previous self-ministrations.

"I agree," he sent, from inside his own plug, some yards away. There was a pause. "I'm kind of embarrassed, actually."

She blushed a deep red. It shouldn't have come as a surprise. Of course it was a two-way street, and he would feel her... issues. Especially when she relieved them.

"Bringing someone else into the resets has permanent effects, but in this case I'm afraid doing nothing would be even more risky," she said.

"What you two are going through is beyond us. And I'm loathe to admit it, but Kaworu basically has us trapped. That's two almost insurmountable problems." She paused, somewhat at a loss for words. Defeat and emotional turmoil were two things that throughout her life she just hadn't dealt with until the resets.

"These two problems each represent dangerous unknowns. What if they both erupt at the same time? What if they're related? We need someone with experience in both of these areas who can possibly shed some light on the issue. Or atleast give us new ideas."

"Ritsuko." Shinji said matter-of-factly.

"Yes." Asuka answered.

Rainbow lights flashed up and down the entry plug in which Touji sat.

"Aaah!" Friggin' finally... he cracked his knuckles. A good harmonics session was just what he needed to take his mind off of his girl troubles. He closed his eyes, and the prison cell coalesced into view around him. Now, where was it? Ah, there. He went over, pressed the small circle, and waited as the strip of light spread itself apart. He walked in, grinning like a maniac. He turned, looking around, wondering at the extreme detail. Lucky lucky lucky! It's nice to have such a straightforward subconsciousness.

The buttons were arranged in four vertical rows of one hundred each. The eighty-eight button was lit. That must be where I'm at now. He reached for the four hundred, then caught himself desperately. Slow down, boy, you're forgetting everything they've taught you. He shivered. The last thing he wanted was some kind of accident, or to be dissolved into LCL. Hmmm... He punched three hundred. Nothing. His heart fell. I shouldn't have expected it to be that simple, he thought glumly.

He went through all the buttons from the upper numbers down. I've got a long way to go, he thought sadly, passing the one hundred fifties. He jumped slightly when the one hundred button lit. He felt vertigo. Must be moving. It was kind of unnerving now that something was actually happening. What was he about to face? The seconds passed in tense silence. No elevator music, he thought with a nervous laugh. He'd never really gotten into music. He kind of regretted that now.

"There's actually not much I can tell you about the resets themselves," Yui mentally spoke, sadness in her eyes, wishing she could be of more help to her son. "When you were in control, it felt like I was more of a conduit, than the cause of what was happening." She glanced at Kyoko, who had joined the three pilots in the circle. "I assume it's the same for you?"

Asuka's mother nodded, looking at Asuka, "Yes. I've tried to give you as much control as possible, even though it hurts so much. I know it's very important.

Yui blushed. She had decided not to mention that part, wanting to spare the pilots any further mental grief. Kyoko was obviously too emotionally fragile at this point to notice.

Asuka looked down at her lap. It was hard, but she knew she couldn't let this information skew her judgment on the resets. People depended on her. She caught herself, before she had fully suppressed the feelings. My mother is one of those people. I can't just ignore this! Tears blinded her for a moment. She felt Rei's soft mental touch.

"You're not alone."

She looked up at Rei, smiling gratefully.

"This just makes it all the more imperative that we not let Kaworu take control," Shinji sent. He looked over his shoulder, worried about Touji. Since the beginning of the harmonics test, he had been searching for his friend, but had been unable to find him. Despite a gut feeling that things were okay for now, he couldn't put from his mind the vision of Asuka collapsed at the absolute borderline.

The elevator doors slid apart, and Touji's eyes widened. Hey, nice... He left the elevator, arrowing straight for what looked like a feather-bed. He flopped onto his back, hands behind his head. A guy could get used to this. The room was very softly lit by the yellow glow from a lamp on a bedside table. He closed his eyes, thinking back on recent events. I wonder where the others are right now? Who knew. He'd find out eventually. Kensuke was undoubtedly still in the computer room. He suspected his friend actually slept there. He thought about Hikari's soft hands caressing... His eyes popped open. Damn it, back to work, gotta keep busy.

He unwillingly picked himself off the bed and walked back into the elevator. He stopped, went back into the room, picked up a chair, and brought it into the elevator. He smiled, thinking of Shinji. He'd probably be trying to psychoanalyze things, what it all meant. I don't care, just as long as I have a place to sit. So thinking, he sat down in front of the button panel. The doors closed. He pressed the one hundred and one button again, mostly just for therapeutic effect. Still nothing. Maybe it's just broken.

He spent a few minutes prying at the panel. It finally came off with a pop. "Youch!" He sucked the tip of his finger, dropping the panel on the floor. His heart dropped once again at the tangle of wires leading to each button. The multitude of colors and complicated twists almost made his head spin. Where's Kensuke when you need him? He sighed again, looking at the ceiling, hands behind his head, leaning the chair back on two of its legs.

He sat thinking for a few minutes, then it hit him. Well, of course. What do you do when the elevator's broke down? He opened the panel beside the buttons. Inside was a small phone receiver. He picked it up, clearing his throat and waiting for someone to answer. He heard the rhythmic beeping that usually indicated the phone was dialing.

Kensuke was bent over a piece of equipment, fiddling with the connectors. I'm going to have to show that girl how to do a proper solder. Asuka tried, but he knew her heart wasn't truly into electronics. He was amazed she'd gotten this setup working the first time. Well, with all the time in the world, he shrugged. His cell phone rang, and he jumped. Now that's strange. No one else should have this number except for the people in our little group. And except for Hikari, they're all doing a harmonics test right now. The probability was very low that Hikari was calling him, but if it wasn't her, who could it be?

He flipped the phone open and put it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Kensuke??" Touji's surprised voice yelped.

"Touji, aren't you supposed to be taking a harmonics test?" His mind raced. Was his friend in trouble?

"I, I... I am, but," Touji sputtered. Kensuke smiled. He felt that special feeling in the middle of his being. His mind sped up, eager to take in all details. After several moments of sputtering, Touji finally said, "Man, forget it. This hurts my head. Never mind how I'm getting through to you, but I'm stuck in an... elevator. You wouldn't happen to be able to help me with a little... wiring problem, would you?"

He was slightly frustrated at the simplifications his friend was making, but he decided that helping him was more important than getting things accurately recorded. "Tell me everything you see," he instructed Touji. "Try to give as much detail as possible."

It took a little while, but as Touji described things, Kensuke's mental picture began to make sense. "Okay," he finally said. "You're not in as much trouble as I thought. All you need to do is move all the connectors on the middle circuit board up one position." He had no idea how anyone who could call himself a wiring expert had messed up this particular circuit so methodically. "Fortunately, they're clip-in connectors. Just make sure you don't get any of them swapped or anything. Otherwise I'd have to be there myself to undo all the damage."

Yeah, I don't think you'll be able to come here. Touji thought gloomily. "I'll just have to get it right. Thanks, Kensuke, I've got a lot of work to do..." As he hung up, he heard his friend shout.

"No, wait! You have to switch the red and blue wires before you..." He heard what the boy said, but it was too late. He was already reaching for the circuit board. His finger touched one of the wires just as he tried to pull his hand free. There was a bright flash, and then everything went dead black.

"Hello? Hello?" Kensuke shrugged, flipping the phone closed. If his friend was stuck in an elevator, someone else would have to get him out. However, if his special feeling was to be believed... Well, he didn't have enough information to speculate reasonably. He'd just have to wait for a report after everyone got back.

Touji rebounded against the rear wall, his fingers burning. Wow... wow, what'd I do? he thought, holding his aching hand. His old claustrophobia threatened to return, but he forced it down, taking deep breaths. The lights went out. That's all. He reached forward, feeling the elevator doors. He put his fingers between the cracks, ignoring the pain in his singed fingers, and pulled with all his might. For a moment, nothing happened, then they slowly began to come apart. He struggled, finally creating an opening large enough to squeeze through. He fell down on the floor of the room, gasping, out of breath.

It figures. He looked around, only glancing at the bed. No time to rest. Who knows how long I have? Gotta find a flashlight. He got up to his feet, walking over to the desk (which was the only other piece of furniture in the room). He opened all the drawers one after another, rummaging through the meager contents. He had gone through almost all of them before he finally found what he was looking for. He took the flashlight and squeezed back into the elevator.

Keeping a careful distance, he peered at the circuit board. Well, nothing looks melted or burnt. Maybe I just tripped something. He heard a slight hum, so he figured the board still had power. Maybe it was just a single circuit that had reset. He saw the red and blue wires his friend was referring to. Careful not to touch any metal, he switched them around. The hum stopped. Hm... He shielded his face, stretching out as far as possible, and flicked the circuit board. No shock, no flash of light. That's good. He bent over, looking at all the wires he would have to move. It looked to be straightforward, but tedious. He sighed, and set to work.

He finally finished changing all the wires. He was as certain as he could be that he had gotten it all right, but that little doubt niggled at him. What would happen if he hadn't fixed it correctly? Would it represent permanent psychological damage? He really didn't want to think about it. He carefully replaced the red and blue wires. The lights came back on with a hum, and the doors closed. He gave a sigh of relief. He had no idea what he would have done otherwise, for he didn't know where the circuit-breakers were in this screwed up mental construct. He hit the one hundred and one button, the suspense killing him. The button lit and the elevator started to move. He released the breath he had been holding. He hit the three hundred button, and it lit up. I'm sure as hell not going to go up the floors one by one, and give it a chance to break again.

He sat down in the chair, his hands behind his head. His heart rose along with the elevator as it dawned on him what this meant. Have I really improved enough to get to three hundred percent synchronization? It's hard to believe that... He found it amazing when a wave of emotion swept over him. I'm going to meet... my ma. The situation was so strange, that he didn't try to suppress the emotion. Who was there to see it, after all? Almost everyone in the group had gone through things like this. No one was going to rib him. Well, except Kensuke. But he wasn't here. He stood as the elevator came to a stop, one hand in his pocket, the other smoothing his hair. The door opened, and despite himself, his eyes widened.

He barely recognized her, but deep inside him he knew. She stepped forward, putting her hands on his shoulders, love in her eyes. "Well, look at you. All grown up." She smiled. "I wondered if you would be able to put yourself back together enough to make it up here."

Touji figured she was talking about the broken circuit, whatever that visual illusion had meant. He found that he had tears in his eyes, and he was not completely surprised to find he didn't care any more if anyone saw him like this.

His mother saw the emotion in his eyes. "Come here," she said, enfolding him in a strong embrace. "It's good to see you're not too old to give your mother a hug." She sighed, sniffing a little.

He felt her breath on his neck. "Ma..." he said, his voice thick, as he returned her embrace. He closed his eyes, surrendering to the happiness he felt. They held each other for the longest time. When next he opened his eyes, he saw his fellow pilots seated in a circle with women who he supposed were their own mothers. They were all looking his way, and smiling. Everything faded to black, and this time he didn't fight it.

After the coolant had drained, and the pilots had returned to the control room, Asuka approached Ritsuko, who was completely absorbed in reviewing the data the computers had gathered from the harmonics test.

"Dr. Akagi," she put her hand on the woman's shoulder.

She jumped, looking up at Asuka. "Yes?" She desperately wished she had the time to study the data before her, but Gendo was so picky about his schedules. However, she wasn't going to turn away one of her pilots, schedule or no.

"There's something I need to show you," Asuka said calmly.

Ritsuko paused, "I'm... I wish I had the time, but..."

"Don't worry," Asuka murmured, "we've got all the time in the world." Then she closed her eyes.

Before Ritsuko could ask what the girl meant, everything went dark around her.

Ritsuko opened her eyes, sat up, and looked around. She sat on a beach, overlooking a reddish-tinged ocean. This was so far outside her range of experience that part of her wanted to collapse back onto the sand and hope it all went away. I know there's a logical explanation to this. Around her, six children sat up, looked around, and saw her. Asuka, Shinji, Rei, Touji, and... Kensuke. She remembered him from when he and Touji had been forced to enter Shinji's entry plug during the fight against the fourth Angel. There was one more girl, whom she did not recognize. Ritsuko bordered on physical shock, feeling faint. Her mental faculties were almost completely numb, trying to sort through the confusion. Only her professionalism, and her background as a scientist and as a critical thinker kept her voice steady.

"You four are pilots," she spoke slowly and methodically. "You," referring to Kensuke, "were in Shinji's entry plug." She turned to Hikari. "But you I don't know. And you don't fit the pattern. How do you play into this?"

As Kensuke watched Dr. Akagi struggle to grasp the situation, he felt something that he had never felt before. Love was something that he had dismissed long ago as hormonal imbalances combined with the phychological dependence that most of humanity seemed to suffer from. Love at first sight was even more ludicrous, involving the underlying obsessive-compulsive tendencies that, again, a frightening proportion of the population seemed to possess. He accepted that he himself was human, and thus subject to humanity's frailties. However, he had always assumed (and this was true to some extent) that his partial-savant abilities would shield him from the worst of the emotional turmoils that afflicted the people around him.

Of course, he saw no harm in the senseless infatuations that almost everyone had (such as his and Touji's infatuation with Ms. Katsuragi), just as long as they were recognized for what they were: infatuations. Thus it was with great consternation that he reluctantly admitted to himself that he was experiencing love at first sight. And with an impossible match. Watching the older woman try to absorb what was happening, and still retain the wits to make use of logic and critical thinking, Kensuke simply couldn't help himself. He desperately wrestled with the problem in his mind, knowing he was fighting a losing battle.

He finally found himself stepping forward. Against his own will, he sat down beside Ritsuko and spoke, "Allow me to explain." He looked around at his fellow pilots, desperately hoping they got the message. Shinji coughed, hiding his grin. Rei had been just about to answer Ritsuko's question, but closed her mouth when she saw Kensuke move. Asuka stood, her mouth half open, her eyebrow twitching. Shinji and Rei each took one of her arms. She could find no strength to resist, she was so shocked. Completely frozen, her feet made furrows in the sand as the two dragged her away. Touji, completely at a loss, turned and jogged after Shinji, hoping to get some answers. Hikari finally tore her gaze from the two, got up, and followed Touji at a run.

Ritsuko listened numbly as the child before her slowly and methodically explained the situation, from start to finish. She did not interrupt at any time. The boy was obviously a savant, or a partial-savant, to be able to remember such detail. He spoke very precisely, making full use of proper scientific reasoning, seeming to predict just the details she herself would have asked of him if she had been given the chance. The list of questions she had begun compiling slowly dwindled down, finally disappearing completely. The boy was a genius. A part of her noted his intense interest, and that the others had discretely wandered away. She was no fool. She even admitted that she found herself quite taken with the boy. She remembered recently standing in front of a mirror in NERV HQ before Iruel's attack.

Mom's healthier than ever, but I'm just aging, aren't I?

Now, if the boy... Kensuke... if Kensuke was to be believed, she was effectively immortal. Staring at his youthful face, she found herself thinking about her age more than ever.

"...and so you brought me into this because of those two problems you as a group are facing," she stated. Kensuke nodded. She paused in thought. After several moments, she spoke. "First we'll concentrate on the problem of the First and Third," she decided. "I obviously can't hold Commander Ikari off indefinitely, but I can keep him off of us for the week we keep repeating. I know just the battery of tests we'll run on those two." Kensuke watched her mind work, his heart skipping a beat, a permanent smile plastered on his face.

The pilots plus Ritsuko stood in a circle on the beach.

"So we're going back to where we left off, right?" Ritsuko asked.

"Right," Asuka replied. She closed her eyes.

Ritsuko sat before a computer terminal, typing away. It had taken some fancy explanations, but Gendo had finally given her leave to run her experiments on the two. The monitor to her left showed the resting forms of Shinji and Rei. They both lay in a single hospital ICU bed, wearing nothing but their A10 clips, a thin hospital sheet protecting their modesty. Even asleep, they lay almost face to face, in each other's arms. Ritsuko had spent the first few days calibrating the monitoring equipment and making sure that no one would be able to trace her near-constant use of the MAGI.

She sighed, pushing the keyboard away from her and picking up the now-cool cup of coffee at her elbow. She took a swallow, winced, then set the cup down. She crossed her arms against her stomach and turned her chair to face the monitor, watching the two sleep. She had at first mentally recoiled at how close a relationship the two of them had. Then, as the data poured in, she could only watch in fascination and even a little envy.

It was unbelievable how closely tuned the two of them were to each other. She had known a brief moment of horror upon discovering that they both seemed to share a single AT-field. It was only due to the sensitivity of the equipment and the processing power of the MAGI that she finally was able to detect the subtle differences. And as she continued monitoring them, she saw that even those variations were being slowly eroded away. She didn't have enough data, but it appeared that they had, at most, another month before... something... happened.

She was dead tired, having pulled another all-nighter. She closed her eyes for a moment, turning over possibilities in her head. After making sure she had done everything in her power to get the monitoring equipment perfectly tuned, she had slowly and quietly begun work on a project of her own. She had never dared dream that such a project would be possible, though she had fantasized about it often. Too often, her scientist side reminded her. Now it might be a possibility.

She jerked awake. Must've nodded off... she thought blearily. She heard a soft beeping, and the jolt of adrenaline partially energized her, despite how completely exhausted she knew she must be. All external alarms had been muted, and this one only went off when... She checked the displays and found all the readings fluctuating wildly. She looked at the monitor. The two of them lay, heads touching, hands pressed against each other's hearts, their bodies shuddering slightly. She had observed one such episode before, but the equipment had not been fully calibrated. This would be the first time she got completely accurate readings. Hold on, you two, she thought desperately, seeing the strain on their faces.