Hogwarts Rejection Letters 35 (Kmon13's style)

Agent Potter of the B.P.R.D. Hellboy and Liz Sheridan (Dark Horse Comics)

Disclaimer: Hellboy is created and owned by Mike Mignola by Dark Horse Comics. Ghost from World's Greatest Comics and R.I.P.D. is also owned by Dark Horse Comics. Hellsing is written and illustrated by Kouta Hirano and owned Young King Ours and Dark Horse comics. Harry Potter and all related character from the series is owned by J. K. Rowling.

B.P.R.D

To:Professor McGonagall

From: Harry's loving adopted parents

Dear Professor McGonagall:

Both me and my husband have read this letter and must say we decline your invitation to send Harry to your school due to the following reasons...

1. Your acceptance letter and the way it was phrased : Before this letter reached our hands the the Department of Magical America's special enforcement group found that the Letter itself was laced with various spells to keyed to compel the holder they are addressed to want to attend your school Loyalty charms and the anti owl ward placed on Harry at the age of infancy along with the Dark Soul who killed his parents didn't help either. (( and for the record Salem institute is the safer school from what we've heard ))

2. The way he was found: When the servant of Integra Wingates Fairbrook Hellsing found him locked in the cupboard of the Dursley Family and while she wanted to keep him on British soil to be trained as a Hellsing irregular operative her servant decided it would be safer after an attack on her manor by Ghouls led by two vampires and another group who wore black robes and metal mask who also gotten eaten or turned ((We also notice on the remains a tattoo that had). So he was sent to live with us and it took both me and my husband and children to convince him not to cook and clean ((The fact alone those Monsters treated him like a slave alone angers me!))

3. The abduction attempts: Since Harry's been with us we been dealing with various kidnapping attempts but the one that annoyed us the most was the one from a pink wearing toad woman who was waving a stick at my husband calling him an me a dark creatures unfit to care for harry. It was the first time my husband and the Acting Director agreed on something as he gave my husband permission to teach pink toad and her minions in the red cloaks why the Wizarding world shouldn't piss off us non magic using humans or mundanes via Samaritan before ... (Note: I'll never use the name muggle because it reminded me of another word you shouldn't use.))

4. The keeping of his Real Guardian in prison to have control over his life: It would be a month afterward we'd meet a man by the name of Remus Lupin (Yes we know he's a werewolf) and Sirius Black (Wrongfully accused Wizard) who came for Harry expecting him to return to England and attempted to use what you call a portkey in our base only to find out we have the place heavenly warned after a visit from an enemy worse than your Voldemort or Tom Marvolo Riddle since it was his birth name if the findings the from both Federal Bureau of Investigation and Interpol's magical divisions are true along with the discovery of your Headmaster hand in his life it since it was his actions that created the bastard in the first place!

5. The various blocks and incantations to bind him to someone's will and to keep him weak on his body were found: When Gringotts bankers American contacted us and asked about how and why he ended up in B.P.R.D. custody the decided to give us all the information we needed due to my husband's reputation as "the Right Hand of Doom" decided to remove them for a small fee and found something leaching off his soul called a Horcrux ((aka Soul shard of a Dark Soul aka Voldemort's soul)) along with various blocks and seals to keep him weak in many ways that would leave him open to someones having it removed we also got that seal Seal on his parents last will and testament placed by your headmaster removed and found out due to Lady Lily Evans-Potter that Black wasn't the secret keeper that betrayed them and it doesn't take one much effort to know that the guy Peter Pettigrew who tried to kidnap harry when he snuck out of the house on a case and found a hive of tooth fairies... ((After what I found out he did it never happened to a nicer rat ))

So with that said he's not going anywhere near you or that headmaster of yours I'd rather have him taught by Rasputin than go anywhere near that decaying deathtrap you call a school so tread lightly because your greater good is a fraud and so are you.

Signed Elizabeth Sheridan.

Wife of Anung Un Rama, the Right Hand of Doom and Field agent for the B.P.R.D.

P.S. Professor Bloom told us how tried to erase his memories after he did all the work taking down Gellert Grindelwald during World War II so his son is looking forward to showing how angry he was about it and our friends in the R.I.P.D. can't wait to meet you especially the two officers .

Then came the second letter that came attached.

B.P.R.D

To:Professor McGonagall

From: Thomas Manning and Dr. Katherine "Kate" Corrigan , Lord Sirius Orion Black.

Dear Professor McGonagall:

While I know the Foster Parents gave you a polite warning I'm going to give you your boss and the ministry for magic the same warning that your Queen gave via Hellsing organization when informed of Mr. Potters treatment.

Stay away or you'll face the wrath of two organizations on two fronts and while I normally condemn his actions Potter has been a great calming influence on the father and his twin siblings who are now that age where they want to explore and while I know Salem is open to teaching all diversities we both know your wizarding britain would condemn them.

So ignore me if you like your boss could ignore me but know one thing...

You consider yourselves warned and may whatever deity you worship watch over you

Signed

Tom Manning Assistant Director of the FBI and Liaison to the B.P.R.D.

Dr. Katherine "Kate" Corrigan BPRD Special Liaison to Enhanced Talent Agents

Lord Sirius Orion Black Duke of Ebensburg and Head of the Most Ancient house of Black

PS : ((To Dumbledore from Lord Black))

Stop sending these enhanced letters to Harry or the you'll deal with the reprisal of the ICW and the United Nations' Magical Enforcement Burial and the new head of the organization is German and a Survivor of Grendwald's and Hitler's ambitions who really want's to try you for war crimes against magical german citizens who you betrayed to get the current hollow in your possession.

So consider your days of holding it numbered and Lily and James can't wait to see you.

Arcadia City

Harry now age 16 and a full fledged member of the BPRD had just finished was called in by Elisa Cameron, known to some either as the ghost or the woman in white who had a penchant for using 9mm pistols on drug dealers, rapist and the occasional Supernatural due to her meeting with Hellboy. At the moment she needed help dealing with the uneasy alliance of Archibald Scythe and Bellatrix Lestrange and needed help from father's new boss Kate who wanted this woman either working for the B.P.R.D. or tone down her the sightings because the government was getting pressure from Arcadia Officials to take both her and the Dark Witch down.

However due to a compromise Elisa was able to get help from BPRP who sent two teams consisting of Himself, his cousin Nyphodora Tonks who left the Auror service and joined the BPRD after attending Sirius' Trial and watched him under the effect of Veritaserum admit his innocence at the ICW held trial, His two adopted sisters though his adopted mother Bethany and Lindsey who earned the nickname of hellgirl sisters while the secondary team consisting of his Parents, Seras Victoria and Steal Harbor's Barb Wire who wanted the bounty on the Unholy pair and were currently fighting Inferi and werewolves.

Meanwhile in London

Veteran lawman Roy Pulsifer and Nick Walker were sent overseas to assist the Auror division of R.I.P.D. and Hellsing in taking down Voldemort who with the help of an American Wizard turned deado Wade Locksley who died learing why Wizard really feared muggled since it was Roy who took him down with buckshot to the face after terrorizing the west with Infri in Providence Kansas. Now he's currently using Voldemort and his Death Eaters to resurrect an Priestess who like Rasputin was also a servant of the Ogdru Jahad and now using stonehenge to summon it back into the world however before they could make their first move Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix evaporated in attempting to the take down the Death Eaters without killing them hoping that they would turn them back from their evil path for the greater good.

However seeing the opportunity to get rid England of three threats to her sovereign soil Hellsing's Trump Card Alucard was ordered by Integra and the Queen herself wipe them out leaving the R.I.P.D. operatives to watch the fun never noticing the young man in the hitler youth uniform picking up the Death Stick and vanishing with it.

Unknown by the both groups

Was Rasputin who was now revived was now adding the Major as a Member of Millennium to and was now planning the invasion of England both the Mundane and Magical hoping to start the next great war.

While being a warmonger wasn't Rasputin's style he was interested in Wilhelmina Harker who the doctor dubbed as the subject: TheSHI and the Deathly Hallows that both Voldemort and Dumbledore were obsessed with before their demise now with the Deathstick in his hands one of the tree items which Schrodinger was so nice to precure for them and he already knew from touching the wand that the second and third items were already in the possession of Harry Potter who was under the care of Anung Un Rama and his bride.

As soon as the enhancements on the newly resurrected Obersturmbannführer Karl Ruprecht Kroenen and Ilsa von Haupstein who returned as a Deado they would be paying the headquarters of the B.P.R.D. a visit very soon.

End?

A/N:This was requested by Dark Mage Wyvern Lord