Danny was stood staring at the room Alice occupied unable to open the door. "You can do this." he whispered to himself. "Just walk in there and stay strong. She is still Alice, no matter what…" he placed his hand on the door handle. He turned it and walked inside slowly. The first thing he noticed was the amount of machinery that seemed to surround her. It was everywhere, all of them connected in some way. She had drips connected to her arm, a clear narrow tube in her mouth connected to a ventilator that whooshed. She also had what looked like a dialysis machine close by.

She was pale, he'd never seen her look so white. The sight of her made him want to scream at the injustice of all this. She didn't deserve what she was going through. She was too young, had her children to watch grow. His mind went to Charlie. This was going to destroy her. He knew that it irritated Alice that Charlie seemed to only have time for him but truth be told the one person she loved more than anyone else was her mother. Danny knew that Charlie would fight to the death with anyone who dared to try and hurt her. She copied her and had her walk down pat. Alice was perfect to her and even when she and her mother had words and fell out Alice was still amazing to her. And his little boy, his Robbie. How was he supposed to grow up without his mothers gentle guidance? Yeah his father was here but mothers and sons have a bond, something that went further than a father and a son. Could this bond transcend death also or would Robbie grow up feeling like he'd been missing something?

He felt his breathing become heavier and he inhaled deeply steadying it, he walked towards her bed and took Alice's hand. It was cold and he rubbed it trying to generate some heat. As he rubbed his fingers ran alone the bones of her hand tracing the lines and ridges. He turned her hand as his fingers moved he noticed her palm was soft. He enclosed her hand in both of his and felt himself fall to his knees. He held her hand to his face as tears fell fast and relentless. He sobbed silently his gasping breaths breaking the hush in the room.

"Ninety percent." he moaned. "But you can't!" his voice so distraught it was almost incoherent. Danny allowed himself a few more moments of uncontrollable emotion before he gathered himself and his feelings. He stood up eyes rooted to the ceiling. He clenched his jaw and exhaled. Looked at his wife. Ran a hand down her beautiful flawless face, leaving no part untouched. He leaned down mouth close to her ear.

"I hope that you can hear me Alice because I need you to know that I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything, for the pain and hurt I've caused you. I'm sorry for every angry word I've ever thought or spoke. I'm sorry that I didn't know that you were ill but most of all I'm sorry for every tear you've cried over me." he pressed a soft kiss to her cheek then stood upright. When he left here he knew he had to go and do the hardest thing he'd ever experienced….again. He had to go and tell his family….tell his children that they were losing their mother, he spun quickly and stomped over to the door, anger flowing red and hot. It was either feel anger or fall apart in a depression.

(X)

Rosie sat in the kitchen feeling sick. Dupe's words about Max spinning in her head. How would she feel if she lost him? What if something bad did happen? Look at Alice and her dad, they hadn't thought she would get ill so quickly, and not they have no way of making up before she died. Their last weeks together had been mired by secrets and angry words and now Alice was unconscious, dying and her dad would never have his chance to make his peace with her, to say sorry, to even say he loved her one final time.

Did she still love Max? she shifted uncomfortably in her chair. If she did and that was IF then it wasn't as much as she had in the past…..that was understandable though after all they had been through. Did she still need Max? again not as much as she had in the past, after their break up she had became stronger out of necessity, if she hadn't then the strain from their break up would have broken her. That strength had brought with it independence. The name Gifthold didn't define her anymore, nor did Trevanion although she had returned to it. She was Rosie, that's it. Just Rosie. A strong individual. Not part of a couple or an extension of her dad.

She pondered everything for a few moments, in light of the incidents from the past few hours then maybe she and Max should make their peace, just in case something bad was to happen. But no make up! Dupe was wrong there. They had moved on, well she had and maybe it was time Max did too.

Mind made up she sat absorbing the quiet in the house, it wasn't often she was awake this late, then again these weren't exactly normal circumstances! She had heard Dupe and Caroline earlier. They were saying that her dad was being too calm. Caroline had promptly replied that he was doing what he had to get through this. This wasn't the same situation as Sarah, with Sarah it had been unexpected Alice's was worse as Danny had to watch. Sooner or later he was gonna crash and when he did no one would be able to help. He had to find a way to pick himself up or they'd all have lost him as well as Alice. Rosie left not wanting to hear about the possibility of her dad losing his mind. She couldn't help but think that he had barely survived the loss of Sarah and her mother. Could Alice be the one to finish him? To make him give up? As she pondered that thought a truck rumbled to a stop outside. A minute later her dad walked inside.

"Family conference!" he barked "Five minutes." he clenched his jaw as he saw his own bedroom, spun and walked into Robbie's. Rosie meanwhile got up to collect Charlie when her dad appeared.

"Not her, I'll tell her in private." and he returned to Robbie's room.

Rosie stared at the door. She had been closer enough to see her father clearly this time and she noticed how haggard he looked. His eyes were no longer green but an indiscriminate dark colour. The whites bloodshot. She put her hand over her mouth. She was no longer in any doubt, when Alice died her dad was going to crumble. Her mind was spinning. Dupe and Caroline had arrived at the table and were eyeing each other. They gave her knowing looks as she approached. She nodded in agreement to Dupe. Liv meanwhile had taken a seat her back to the hallway, her head rested on her hand. Even though Danny hadn't officially confirmed it they all knew what he was going to say. Rosie felt tension take root in her shoulders and decided to check on her girls.

Danny meanwhile stood at his sons cot moonlight spilling within the small dark room, as his gaze scanned the area he could see large trucks and toys littering the floor, his eyes came to rest on the baby lain in the cot, his searched his little face for aspects of his mother. They were there, recognisable.

"I'm sorry Robert." his voice a whisper. The seriousness punctuated by the use of his given name. the name his mother chose for him. Danny's hand moved silently through the air and came to rest upon the boys small chest, he felt his heart pumping sure and strong.

"You're the best parts of your mum and me. I'm going to have to find a way to make you see just how much as you grow older." he dropped his head.

Robbie sighed in sleepy, oblivious to the worries which plagued his father. He leant over the cot and kissed his sons head softly. "No matter what son you're loved. By me and your mum. I'll tell you how much she loves you every day." he vowed. Touched his child's soft cheek.

He was reminded of the argument with Alice when he said he wanted to have the kids with him, he had but not like this, never like this. He shook his head, rolled his shoulders and walked from the room. Saw everyone was waiting for him at the dining table talking softly. When they heard Robbie's door close silence fell and they stared at him. Even Liv, whose back was facing him, craned her head to look at him. He approached and read the bleak look within her eyes, Rosie's too. Caroline and Dupe looked resigned. Danny had a feeling they knew what he was going to say. He walked in slowly the air thick with anticipation. Dupe nodded at him, Danny ignored it. He walked to the fridge, took out the juice and poured himself a glass pondering what he was going to say. Should he just come out and say it? Or should he prepare them? He placed the carton back in the fridge wishing he was cradling a glass of something much stronger. He stared down into the orange depths and frowned, spun and faced the people who were waiting for his announcement. They looked worried and anxious.

"Alice is dying." he said stonily.

Liv's eyes widened and her jaw slackened. Rosie put her arm around her.

"As you all know Alice has Anthrax poisoning, it has hit second stage." his voice emotionless, although his jaw was ticking and his eyes were glistening. "When it hits second stage…" he sighed. "Well its not good."

"How bad?" Liv squeaked eyes full of unshed tears. Rosie had warned her earlier but she hadn't believed that this would take Alice, she was too strong!

"10 percent of survival." he admitted.

Liv's hand rushed to her mouth. "But mum…."

Danny looked and saw Caroline bow and lower her head, Dupe murmuring to her offering comfort. He returned to Liv. "Your mums was caught pretty early…" he knew he was being blunt, he had no other choice. "And your mums wasn't respiratory. it's the worst kind, vicious. It destroys the body, makes it turn on itself." he trailed off.

Liv began to cry in earnest now. Rosie shot her dad a dark look then took Liv to her bedroom closing the door.

"What now Trevanion?" Dupe asked realising no amount of words from him was going to make Caroline feel any better.

"Everyone needs to go in and say what they need to." he croaked the words he'd been speaking finally hitting him. He clenched his jaw tightly.

"What about Charlotte?" Caroline hiccupped.

"Let her sleep, I'll see her tomorrow, right now I have stuff to do." and with that he walked from the house, heavy footfalls echoing unaware of the tears falling down his face.

(X)

Rosie meanwhile was still trying to console a hysterical Liv an hour later. She lay on her stomach on her bed punching the pillow while wailing. "Again….again…" in between heart broken sobs.

Rosie sat by her side, hands on her shoulders trying to raise her. No Liv, not again!" Rosie said for the hundredth time. "These things just…."

"Don't say it just happens!" Liv screaming into her pillow. "That there is a reason why we have to go through this over and over again!" she rolled from the bed and was on her feet, her face pale, eyes red rimmed. "If there are reasons tell me why my dad doesn't care about me! Tell me the reason why Danny has lost three women he loves! Tell me why you, me and soon Charlie know what its like to grow up in our teenage years without our mum!" she screamed, picked up a mirror off her cabinet, threw it. It exploded as it bounced off the wall. Then threw herself back on the bed fisting the quilt tightly.

Rosie stroked her hair. "Maybe for us to grow up strong."

"I'd rather be weak Rosie." she keened, voice defeated. "I needed my mum and she left. I finally allow myself to let Alice in, to talk about stuff, to…..to…." she faltered and wrapped her arms around her head tightly. "I love her Rosie, why's this happening to us again?"

There was a knock on the door, danny appeared. Rosie wanted to swear at him when she saw that his face was completely neutral. She opened her mouth to tell him where to go….

"Leave us alone for a little bit Rosie."

"You've done enough!" she hissed knowing if he'd been less graphic then Liv wouldn't be going into meltdown right now.

"It'll be fine." he whispered. "She needs me more than you."

Rosie was on her feet looking in his face. "Yeah but difference is I'm not traumatising her!"

"Rosie I won't…."

She silenced him knowing that he was right, Liv needed thier dad. "You hurt her and I swear to God I don't care if you're my dad or not I'll….."

He nodded and went to kiss her head. She backed away. He settled by patting her shoulder. "Get some sleep, tomorrow will be a long day."

"I know, I'm the one who has to deal with the people YOU hurt when you're not thinking about what your saying!" and she left the room absolutely steaming.

Danny meanwhile sat on the bed beside Liv, lifted her up effortlessly and wrapped his arms around her. One hand around her waist the other on her head. "It's alright." he whispered rubbing her hair. "Cry it out."

"Alice?" Liv croaked her head in his chest minutes later, her sobs calming. "Really?"

"Slim chance she'll pull through." his voice scratchy. "Slim but a chance."

"Do you think she'll pull through." Liv asked hopefully, her blue eyes looking up beseechingly.

If Danny closed his eyes he could see Alice's smile dancing through his mind. Hear her laughter all around him, feel the embrace that never failed to warm him. None of that was present in the hospital. The spectre of death loomed overhead. He almost replied with no then remembered her promised Rosie not to hurt her….yet he couldn't lie, it took all his effort not to break down. "I dunno."

In other words no, he read in her eyes before she thrust her head back to his chest, more tears surging. "Why us Danny? Why always us?"

Coz God has a sick, twisted sense of humour was his preferred reply, instead he settled on, "Who knows."

"Have you told Charlie yet?"

He shook his head. "I need you and Rosie to keep an eyes on her when I'm at hospital. This is gonna….well remember how you and Rosie felt. She'll be going through that as well as guilt and a lot of other things I won't understand but YOU will. Be there for her please, she'll need a shoulder to cry on and someone to listen while she vents. We all need to stick together right now."

Liv nodded. "Ok."

"Thanks." he whispered. "I'm guessing this is dragging up things about your mum again huh?" he broached.

"I was just starting to feel settled again, after we lost this place." burst from her. "I had this feeling of peace that I'd lost and now…." her face crumpled.

"It's hard but we'll get there again. I promise." and he kissed the top of her head. She allowed him, unlike Rosie who hated him right now.

"And Alice?" Liv's voice broken. "What about her?"

She heard him exhaled. "Alice? Well….she'll…." he cleared his throat. "We'll miss her but we'll get used to….her not being around." the final part forced past his lips. His whole body was taut with keeping the emotion inside.

"It's ok to cry Danny." Liv whispered her eyes rested on his shoulder, eyes closed. "Charlie will feel better if you do. When mum died…."she quieted a moment. "When you found her you came in and cried with us." her voice wobbling. "Fell to your knees and sobbed. We didn't mind. You lost someone you loved. When you cried we weren't alone."

"I know but I have Robbie too." he murmured. "I can't fall apart. There's so much…."

"Ok Danny." she agreed softly and released him knowing that nothing she said would change his stance. Although his eyes shined his face remained shielded and strong. She hated him for it, she wanted to know he felt it too!

"Remember take care of Charlie when I'm not here."

"You getting in touch with Evan?" she asked ignoring his last request.

"Yes." his voice tired. "I have Rowan to contact first."

"I'll ring Evan."

"It's ok…" he began.

"I need my big brother, he understands." she said accusingly. "I'll talk to him."

"Ok Livvie. Try and get some sleep and I'll see you later." he left the room and closed the door. He remained rooted to the spot unable to move. "Stay strong." he whispered to himself. "Don't lose yourself." unknowing that was exactly what he was doing by not allowing himself to hurt for his wife. Tears burned his eye lids and still he refused to release them. He heard Liv's voice moments later and listened.

"Ev? Listen it's Alice." she said quickly. "She's gonna die and Danny won't cry!" he heard her start sobbing and left the area quickly, hearing her cry like that would have him sobbing in no time.

A/N awwww poor Liv breaks my heart...and Rosie, its already starting to take its toll on her :( It gets worse. And Danny does too believe it or not. again this family is remaining divided when thy need each other. (Felt sorry for danny earlier when he cried tho :( why he can't do that in front of his family is beyond me!) Anyway thanks for reading x