AWoC ch36
A/N: TISSUE WARNING….jsyk
Much love to A Jasper for Me, Eternally Edward's girl, Cutestkidsmom, Pates Greeneyes and Rvrsong!
I wouldn't be able to do any of this without those ladies. They own me.
Now…let see what's going on with Edward and Bella…
EPOV
I stepped out of the shower and dried off, listening for any sign that CP had woke up. I didn't hear anything other than her breathing and the beep from my phone alerting me that I had yet another message.
I lit a cigarette, grabbed my bag and pulled out a pair of sweats and boxers. I slipped them on, took a drag off my cigarette and sat in the chair at the little table beside the bed.
Caterpillar was beyond beautiful as she slept. I wondered what it would feel like to lay beside her, our bodies entwined, the heat from her skin comforting me.
I didn't want to think about anything but her nor did I want to do anything but make the both of us feel good.
We'd both had enough bad shit happen in our lives that we fucking deserved to feel fucking good about something for a change. And, I know that sliding my dick inside of her tight little body would definitely feel fucking fantastic if just kissing her affected me the way that it did.
My head was a fucking mess.
What the fuck am I thinking about this shit for?
This is my fucking Caterpillar for fuck's sake.
I cannot have sex with her. I just can't. Not that she'd even fucking let me anyway.
But, fuck me if I didn't want to.
"Edward?" I heard her small, raspy voice and it pulled me from my thoughts. I focused on her face to see her eyes opened and that worry line on her brow.
"Yeah CP, I'm here," my own voice rough when I spoke. I took a drag, letting the smoke surround me and looked at her again. Her eyes held something like worry and I hated it.
"Where are we?" She questioned and tried to sit up a little before she noticed the bottle of water I put on the bedside table. She nodded to it and I nodded back that she could have it.
"We're in Portland at a Holiday Inn." I replied and put out my cigarette.
The only light in the room was the small vanity light behind me, so she reached over to turn on the bedside lamp.
I looked down and closed my eyes as I heard her gasp.
I looked up at her as I watched her take me in, half naked. I think I saw a spark of lust cloud her eyes, momentarily before she pulled the blanket up a little higher on her chest.
"Did you shower?" CP diverted her eyes to take in the room, looking anywhere but at me.
Fuck, I know I'm hot but she was downright flustered.
"Do I need to put on a shirt Caterpillar?" I was teasing her and she knew it by throwing a pillow at me.
"Yes, please. I don't need to be looking at you like that, not when we're in this fucking mess that we're already in," and just like that, her voice dropped, she began to shake as she brought her knees up under the blanket to fold her arms around them.
She looked so tiny and young.
And so fucking beautiful it hurt my eyes ...and my dick.
"You hungry?" I asked, trying to alleviate the tension that suddenly surrounded us.
She shook her head.
I lit another cig and offered her one, she took it and I lit it for her. We sat there in silence, just smoking, but I could tell it was about to explode between us. There was just too much shit to deal with.
"What happened to you tonight?" her eyes watched me as I visibly tensed at her words.
"When we were at your house," she watched me take a drag off my cig and then release the smoke.
"Alice told me some news. Some really fucked up news." I flicked my ashes and looked down at my feet. I didn't want to talk about this, not really, but I knew she wouldn't let it go.
"What news?" I looked up to see her sit up taller against the headboard, legs out flat in front of her, eyes focused solely on me.
"My mom tried to kill herself. She's probably already dead." I heard Bella gasp and her hand flew to cover her mouth as words of exclamation flew out of it.
"You know what sucks the most about it, Bella? Seriously?" I felt my tears, those fucking tears, again down my cheek.
She shook her head at my question.
"I'll get blamed for this shit, just like always. I wasn't even there. I didn't fucking do anything but somehow, someway those fuckers will try and pin this all on me," I sobbed and I felt her wrap her arms around me as I enclosed her body in my own arms.
"They hate me, CP. They all fucking hate me. My family fucking hates me, and now my mom is probably dead. Just like my sisters that they fucking still blame me for murdering," I couldn't hold back, the words just kept pouring out of my mouth.
"Edward," she cooed in my ear, "No baby, none of this is your fault. You know that. I know that. And, I refuse to stand by and let them blame this on you. It isn't your fault." She continued to hold me and whisper in my ear as her fingers ran through my hair while her other hand caressed my back.
I pulled her tighter against me, my face in her chest and I cried, I cried tears for the past six years. I cried tears for all the hurt and pain that I'd felt. And, I cried because I was so fucking tired … tired of it all.
"Come lay down, baby, lie down and let me hold you," CP pulled back a little and tried to force me to look at her.
"Edward, come on, let's lay down. You are exhausted." I nodded and obeyed her, taking her hand and moving into the bed where she pulled back the blankets and let me slip in. She pulled me to her and I wrapped myself back around her.
Something changed in those moments between us, something infinitely different than I'd ever experienced before.
"I need you, Bella. I can't do this without you." my voice barely a whisper as she pulled my chin up so that our eyes met.
"I need you too, Edward," she whispered back before our lips touched. It was the softest, sweetest kiss that I'd ever had.
I didn't want it to end and I pulled her down so that I could hover over her, without any warning she wrapped her legs around my hips. The heat between us grew and before I knew what was happening we were somehow naked, grinding against one another and I was lost to it all.
I stopped, out of breath and put my forehead against hers.
"Caterpillar," I whimpered.
She nodded and kissed my lips.
"I want you, Edward," she replied with a small motion of her hips, upward.
I kissed her, passionately as I moved my hand down to my dick, knowing that once we crossed this moment, there was no going back.
I didn't care anymore.
She was mine and I needed to feel that she truly belonged to me.
"I don't have a condom with me, CP," I almost whined as she shook her head.
"I'm on the pill," her voice was breathy and I looked at her in shock. She shrugged then pulled my head back down to within an inch from hers.
I slowly inched my dick back into place, having raised up at her revelation of birth control.
"Go slow, Edward," she said just as I placed the tip at her entrance.
I looked down at her as I watched her wince the more I pushed forward.
"Fuck Caterpillar, are you …" I didn't want to say the word and kill this moment but I had to know for sure because it definitely felt like she was a virgin.
"Yes," she weakly replied but her eyes widen, "but, I want this. I want you."
Fuck, I've never fucked a virgin before and I didn't want to hurt her.
"Tell me if it hurts." I spoke quietly as I continued to move, my dick was swollen from her heat and the moment we were in, I had to move.
"It does but it's okay, you are kind of big," she said and I smirked.
I took a couple of short, slow strokes in and out before she relaxed a little. Her wetness coating my shaft as her walls softened as my rhythm increased, her back arched as I took one of her nipples in my mouth.
Our eyes stayed on each other, our bodies connected and my head was filled with ways that I planned to keep doing this to her again and again. I never wanted to lose this feeling. Even if it meant never being numb again.
This felt better than anything I could ever remember as her hands dug into my back, her feet pushing against my ass and her tongue wrapped around mine.
We both moaned and moved against the other.
This meant something.
This changed everything.
This was a new beginning … fuck the rest of the world.
My Caterpillar, she owned me, in this moment.
I knew that I would be a changed man because of this exact moment when I felt myself let it all go at the same time that she cried out my name. Her head tossed back, her eyes closed and a tear slipped down my cheek.
I saw it all.
Our beginning, our middle and our future...I only had to figure it out and help her see.
But how? I'd been so horrible to her. But she hadn't run away from me.
She'd seen me with that first little note...and I knew.
A/N: Yeah…um…so, there's that…and, what exactly DOES he know? Hmmmm?
I'll just leave you with that little thought;)
REC:
My sweet friend, Rvrsong, has written this wonderful "Under My Skin" and all that's left is the EPI. She is a phenomenal writer and truly deserves more attention…if you so enjoy reading a new author as she starts out, give it a go. I promise you will NOT regret it!
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Kyla