Chapter Thirty-seven – 'Buried alive'
"McClure?" Smithers called out after exiting his third mud bath of the day. "I'm finished and need to clean off the cucumber cream. Where did you go this time?" Smithers was frustrated with his constant disappearing act.
He left the spa and backtracked towards the brick pathway and the stairways. The sun was fading over the lake and everyone was in their rooms for the evening.
The spa was empty. The tennis court was empty. The fire pit was empty. "I can't find him anywhere, did he die along the way?" Smithers muttered to himself. He took a seat next to the brick oven and propped his feet up on an ottoman. "There isn't much left I can do here. So... this is... sort of disappointing. How much did I spend on this property?" He shuffled through the papers in his pocket and found the title-deed. "Rent is... houses and hotels... property value: three hundred twenty dollars. I don't know what I really paid for..."
A random tennis ball rolled down the stairs and Smithers stood up to see where it came from but no one was visible. Another followed and it bounced its way down the stairs to the lake. Now Smithers' attention was focused as a wave of tennis balls bounced past him down the stairs.
"This seems odd. Someone has to be up there." He ran up the stairs but saw an empty courtyard at the top. "This place is really strange after dark. Is anyone out here?" He raised his voice and waited for a response but the courtyard was silent.
Another tennis ball bounced up the stairs and hit him in the leg. It defied gravity by coming up the stairs at him. He walked to the edge of the stairs and looked down at the tennis court and the lake but no one was around.
"This place creeps me out. Everyone disappears so quickly." He checked his MyPad but the display was blank. "I just want to leave this place. Is it my turn yet?" He asked himself. "Maybe I'll take a short walk."
He started down the stairs and paused at each landing. The fire pit was still empty, the spa area was still empty, and the tennis court was still empty. For the amount of tennis balls which bounced down the stairs, there were none to be found. Smithers stopped at the bottom where the stairs joined the lake and the boathouse.
The stone statue remained in the boathouse right where Smithers left it. A red hologram quickly appeared. "I'll see you shortly." It said then faded as quick as it had appeared.
Smithers shook his head and checked the MyPad again. The screen lit up this time with the roll icon. He pressed it and the loud booms echoed across the sky and shook the boathouse. "Five." He read as he quickly ascended the stairs.
The stairs multiplied as he passed the previous landings. It took the same amount of time, but the anticipation propelled him to the top. When he reached the summit, it was as empty as he had left it.
A single tennis ball was laying in the grass next to his thimble. "Something isn't right about these balls..." He paused as he reached down and grabbed it. It looked like a standard yellow tennis ball. He gave it a small squeeze in his fingers. "Feels about right."
The tennis ball intrigued him for a few more seconds before he threw it toward the lake. "Good riddance!" Smithers said as the ball bounced off the invisible wall and rebounded at him. He stepped out of the way and the ball continued bouncing until it reached the bottom of the mountain. "This place is definitely too strange for me. Time to leave."
He mounted his thimble and took one last look at the central path leading to the main building before he made it back to the tall grass underneath the mountain.
"That place creeped me out but the mud bath is worth returning for, so I'll give this place three-and-a-half stars." Smithers chuckled to himself as this was his best property yet. "This game can't possibly get any better than the arcade, the root beer factory, or this fabulous secluded spot with cucumber facials." He was excited to see where his thimble took him next.
The tall grass gave way to a shorter grass roadway with stones marking the edge of the path. Flowers grew wildly around the rocks forming a solid barrier between Smithers and the outside. "It always feels like I'm trapped during these transits to the next property." He wasn't wrong as he peered into the distance.
"I think I see something. That was quicker than that one journey from the arcade." He wondered where he was in relation to the others and to the start, but it was impossible for him to figure it out.
The roadway widened as it approached the base of the mountain where a tunnel marked the entrance. There was no light coming from the other side to notify Smithers how long the tunnel was. "I guess we are going in..." He whispered as he approached the dark tunnel.
Inside it was pitch black. He held up the MyPad to provide minimal light in front of him. "I can barely see which way this thimble is taking me." He gripped the MyPad as the thimble made a sharp right followed by a long sweeping left which descended further into the mountain. "I don't like this..."
The thimble slowed as a string of lights became visible in the distance. "Is this where I'm going? Underground caverns would be a nice touch to the list of properties I own."
The lights dimly lit several metal signs as he passed a few alcoves to his left. He squinted to try to see what was stored down here. "These signs look vaguely familiar..." Then it hit him as the lights illuminated the yellow signs with a magenta trefoil on it.
"Why? You can't do this!" Smithers yelled as it echoed throughout the cavern. "I wondered what Burns did with all the nuclear waste stored behind the plant. Found it." He thought for a second. "Maybe I don't want to purchase this cave system after all."
The thimble made another left and ascended toward a stream of daylight so bright it temporarily blinded him. When the token reached the exit, it proceeded down another path lined with rock and flowers. A large stone door closed behind Smithers as he turned and looked behind him. "Did Burns take me through there just to show me the buried nuclear waste?"
He pondered this as the path ended at a golden gate with a 'For Sale' banner across it. "This looks more like it. Fancy." Smithers jumped off the thimble and walked up to the gate.
"You have arrived at Boardwalk." The MyPad announced and showed Smithers the five spaces he traveled before going blank.
"Did going through the mountain count as five spaces or was that extra?" Smithers shrugged it off and approached the gate. He couldn't see very far into the property as a big building with large windows, stone columns, and a curved driveway leading to the front entrance blocked his view.
A not-so-hidden security camera examined him as the golden gate slowly opened and Smithers let himself in. He followed the driveway to the front door where a lively cocktail party was taking place.
Upon entering the room, Smithers felt like he was under-dressed and uninvited for the occasion. "Glass of champagne sir or perhaps a mixed drink?" A waitress carrying a tray of different colored drinks greeted him.
"How about a Manhattan? Do you have one on your tray?" Smithers asked the waitress before unloading a series of questions on her. "Who is in charge here? Where am I exactly? Has anyone else been here yet?"
"Let me grab you that drink to calm you down." She thought for a moment. "You are at the Boardwalk cocktail hour and golf tournament. Our mayor is around here somewhere if you wish to speak to him. I can send someone over who can answer your questions." She left Smithers as he walked around the room exploring.
"I recognize this song. It's Toccata and Fugue. This is my relaxing bubble bath song." The notes pulled him in the direction of the piano. "Do you take requests?" He asked the pianist. "How about The Planets? You familiar with the Mercury movement?"
The pianist changed the tune and a softer ambiance took over the room. Another waitress bought Smithers his drink and his anxiety melted away. "Here is the drink you requested and if you make your way to the back door, the party continues outside." The second waitress directed Smithers.
"Thanks. I will go outside to look for the mayor." He took a step toward the back then turned back. "Can you tell me who the mayor is I'm looking for."
"I sure can. Just ask for Dr. MacDougal out back." She looked at the ceiling while thinking. "He may be out on the golf course, so he may be hard to find."
"Thanks again. I need to find him." Smithers waved her goodbye as he weaved through the crowd to find his way to a large elevated patio overlooking the expanse of the golf course.
Tall, perfectly trimmed trees lined the fairways along with perfectly level, freshly cut grass. The golf course was well maintained, almost as if a crew of eighteen man labored eternally to care for the course.
"I have never seen a golf course so taken care of." Smithers mentioned as he placed his drink on the railing. "There is no way anyone actually plays..."
"Fore!" A voice echoed through the grounds as a golf ball hit the building. "Sorry!" The voice added.
"There is your answer." A man in plaid pants, spiked sandals, and a dark blue collared shirt approached Smithers. "Our course has been voted 'The Best in the World', however, we don't get any visitors from outside the property. So that begs the question: where did you come from and do you know how to play golf?"
Smithers sipped his drink and answered his questions. "I feel out of place here because I am out of place. I'm here because my thimble stopped at the front gate..."
"I saw you on the security camera and I opened the gate for you. I'm the Head of Security for Boardwalk." The man identified himself. "Are you here as part of the game?"
"Yes I am. What do you know about the game?" Smithers asked.
"I know quite a bit. I attended the meeting regarding the game in place of our mayor." He saw Smithers open his mouth but answered his next question before he asked it. "The mayor was selected by a vote of all the golfers here. When we announced the winner, he refused to attend the meeting because he was worried the course would deteriorate in his absence. So we voted for an alternate to attend in his place."
Smithers absorbed every word as he explained the meeting and the history of the golf course. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"I would like to buy this property." Smithers finished his drink and handed the glass to a passing waiter.
They stood at the railing and stared out over the golf course as a foursome teed off to start their round. One by one they took their stance and made contact with a golf ball to send it flying down the course.
"You interested in playing a round." The Head of Security asked Smithers.
"I didn't bring my clubs... and I just want to find this mayor MacDougal..." Smithers made an excuse.
"MacDougal... except I haven't heard anyone call him that... since the first day." He explained. "Come with me and I'll tell you another story." He motioned for Smithers to follow him down the stairs and to a parking lot filled with golf carts. "Jump in. I'll drive." They started on the path at the first tee and caught up to the group who teed off while they watched.
The golf cart dodged the parked carts at the greens and drove past the second, third, and fourth tees. The Head of Security began his story.
"On the first day Boardwalk opened, we had a cocktail party and everyone introduced themselves. I stood up and said: my name is Don Brodka and I have worked in security. So they made me the Head of Security." It seemed reasonable to Smithers. "But I remember when he stood up..." The memory was clear in his mind. "His name was Dr. William MacDougal and I am an expert groundskeeper, but I prefer to go by the name Groundskeeper Willie."
"I've heard that name before... I think..." Smithers tried to remember. "Let's go find him."
Don drove the golf cart passed the next several greens with groups of golfers trying to putt the ball into the hole. After nine holes, they arrived at a snack shack located at the turn. It consisted of a fully stocked bar, a ball cleaner, and two groups relaxing with ice-cold drinks.
"Has anyone seen Dr. Mac... I mean Groundskeeper Willie?" Smithers asked but no one answered.
"He needs to find him. Anyone know where he went." Don tried to encourage them to answer but added a final threat. "I guess I have to review the security tapes which will also show me how many strokes and mulligans you all took and I'll compare it to your scorecards..."
Several golfers jumped up and pointed toward hole #14. "He said the zig zag sand trap... there was something strange about it and went to investigate."
"I knew I could get an answer. Shall we?" Don led Smithers back to the golf cart, depressed the brake, and drove them down the cart path.
More difficult fairways included a dogleg right whizzed by as Don drove the golf cart to its limit. As the fourteenth hole approached, Don honked the horn and cut off a golfer ready to tee off.
"Excuse us!" He shouted. "Official business coming through." The green was in sight but Don slammed the brakes to bring their journey to a halt.
"Acht! This thing is buried deep. Not even the Scottish Army could remove it..." A voice came from deep inside the sand trap.
"I think we found him." Don confirmed. "Everybody out. I'm heading back to the clubhouse."
Smithers exited the golf cart before Don continued down the path out of sight. "Groundskeeper Willie? You in there?"
"Yes, unfortunately I'm busy. Come back later." The voice answered as a rake came flying out of the sand trap almost hitting Smithers. "Go away and come back later."
"But I need to talk to you, you are the true mayor, correct?" Smithers negotiated.
"Why didn't you say so. Grab that rake and jump in here." Willie instructed. "We can kill two birds with one stone statue."
Smithers tossed the rake back into the pit hitting the statue in the process. He slid into the sand trap to see Willie trying to dig out the stone statue which was buried two feet into the sand. "This is exactly what I needed to find..." Smithers said with a glare from Willie. "...and you as well." He quickly added.
"No one ever wants to find Groundskeeper Willie. I plow and mow and mulch and rake every day for these people to play golf. It's never Willie's turn." He complained as he tossed the rake back out of the sand trap. "Well you found the statue. You don't need me now." Groundskeeper Willie griped as he climbed out of the sand trap leaving Smithers alone.
"Didn't anticipate that." Smithers whispered to himself as he awkwardly placed the MyPad into the hands of the statue. Two familiar holograms appeared as Smithers was accustomed to seeing the green one in addition to the red one.
"Greetings and welcome to the most expensive property in the game." The green hologram started. "Boardwalk is very valuable in your quest. To buy the property will cost you four hundred dollars and a subsequent round of golf for any visitor will be forty dollars."
"I hope you have the money." The red hologram suggested while receiving a stern look from the other hologram.
Smithers watched as they argued for a few seconds with no clear winner. The battle became more heated as Smithers reached for the Buy icon on the MyPad.
"Thank you." The red hologram concluded as the green disappeared. "He didn't even tell you to make a choice. He just wants to hear himself talk." The red hologram seemed to dislike the green one.
"No problem." Smithers said as he grabbed the three pieces of paper which printed below the MyPad.
The first piece of paper was the Title-deed for Boardwalk. The second piece of paper showed a four hundred deduction for the cost of the property and showing a remaining balance of five hundred forty dollars.
"I'm quickly running out of money. What happens then?" Smithers asked the red hologram.
"I can't answer that for you... I just freeze the game. That was all I was programmed to..." The hologram answered and stopped mid-sentence.
"They work for me, not for you." A loud voice swept across the golf course. "If you have a question about the game, you ask me because this is my game. I will answer your questions." Smithers figured out the voice was from Burns over the loudspeakers into the game. "Now if you wait a few minutes, I will help you in some way."
The speakers clicked off and Smithers felt stranded as a ball landed in the sand trap, bounced slightly, then was suspended in the air. Smithers tried to kick it but it didn't move.
"Golf isn't fun if the balls don't move. Guess I have to wait until Burns unfreezes the game again." He admitted as his turn was over.