It had been well over an hour since Kate had said she was going to fetch a jumper before Michael actually looked for her, she did have a habit of becoming easily distracted or drawn into passing conversation.

He found her in their room, knees curled up to her chest as she lay against the pillows, looking forlornly at something held in her hands. She didn't look up when he entered, even when he said her name.

She sniffed loudly in the dull light, the product of the tears he could now see upon her face, rolling slowly and catching the light. With a mounting trepidation he closed the door behind him, kicking off his boots before he crawled onto the bed, sitting close to the curve of her back, her arm trembling under his touch as he reached out to her. He reached forward, gently plucking the paper from her fingers, barely noticing the open book on the sheets.

He stared at it, the only thing he recognised was her name.

"It's an ultrasound." She whispered, her voice thick. She was looking at him now, her eyes flickering over his face and his obvious confusion. "it's a picture they take when you have a scan, you know….when you're pregnant."

He felt his heart drop, tearing his eyes away from her tear stained face to the photo in his hand, only now making out blurred shapes, his hand tightening on her arm.

"I feel bad…but every time I look at it, I think of Sarah." she reached up, her hand on his wrist, turning his hand so the image captured the light and she could see.

"Sarah?" He looked at her, wanting to wipe the tears from her face but found himself stilled be her hand. He didn't really need to ask what she was really talking about. "You never told me you named her."

"Its only what I call her in my mind." She said softly. "It didn't seem right for her not to have a name."

He continued to look at the picture, breathing her name quietly, his heart clenching at the feel of the word in his mouth. He turned it over, laying it face down on the bed as he rubbed his hand over her arm, her skin hot beneath her shirt.

He sighed heavily, wiping a hand across his face. "We've never talked about this." quiet and constricted words that fell with heavy tension in the stuffy air. He waited, tense and downhearted, for her to speak.

"I've never really wanted to." She admitted quietly. "I don't think about her as much as I used to, but lately." She sighed, ragged and full of grief. "lately, sometimes its all I can think of."

He lay beside her, propped up on his elbow so he could see her face, his hand held over her heart, his own beating with a desperate sadness. "Kate…"

"We've been trying for over a year Michael." she interrupted him, her real concern coming out. He paused, resting his cheek briefly against her arm.

"These things take time." He whispered softly, his thumb gently stroking across her cheek. She moved beneath his caress, directing her eyes towards the wall, something dull and pained making them dark. "Kate?"

She shook her head, shaking loose more slow rolling tears.

"Talk to me." He whispered, sounding pained at seeing her so upset.

She sniffed again, swallowing back her tears. "I just wonder sometimes, if…" she trailed off, unsure of how to ask.

"If?" He held her face in his hand, turning her back to look at him.

When she spoke, she was red faced, embarrassed and shamed at even voicing her thoughts. "Maybe, somehow, something went wrong." she couldn't meet his eye. "When you had to take her from us."

His hand flinched against her cheek, and she felt a dreadful guilt at having reminded him of what he had done.

His breathing stilled, body frozen until he dropped his forehead to rest on her arm. "That was never my intent." he spoke stiffly, his words dampened and muffled against her arm. "I could never have done that, not even unintentionally."

She felt the truth in his words and berated herself for even having doubted him. "Then maybe we're still being punished." She asked softly.

He raised himself to catch her eyes, conviction shining through his heartache. "He wouldn't take this away from us Kate, not after everything you've been through."

"How can you know that for sure?" She asked, a little more strength to her voice, already anticipating his answer.

"Because I have…"

"Faith." She finished for him, "Yes, I know." She dropped her gaze, it had never been something never truly discussed between them, her lack of faith, with Kate not wanting to admit it, and Michael believing that she just needed some time. "Maybe that's why?"

Michael breathed heavily. "He is many things Kate, loving, vengeful, but never spiteful." He told her gently, finally capturing her gaze again, his eyes kind and comforting. "Some things just take time." He said softly, and Kate had the impression that he was alluding to more than just becoming a mother.