She checked the locks on her windows for the third time since getting home, taking a quick glance out at the street even though there was nothing to see. You have a protective detail, she reminded herself. Stop obsessing. You need to get some rest if you want to catch him. He wants you to be off your guard. He's playing his mind games with you, wearing you out by not doing anything. He's using your fear. Don't let him. There were two cops right outside her apartment door, and another couple of cars downstairs, which was more than usual. Barba had insisted, and she wouldn't give him any arguments this time. Any way of getting into the building had been covered. But he's clever. I still don't know how he got in last time. He'll use the element of surprise. If he wants to, he can get past. But he's not omnipotent, stop catastrophising. It had been a stupid idea to go home, she had realised the second she had walked into her empty apartment after it had been searched extensively and cleared. Anything was better than being here, reminded of how everything had happened last time. However, she hadn't had much of a choice, after thirty-two hours at the precinct, where she wouldn't have been able to catch a break, either.

They hadn't been making any progress these past few hours, hadn't had any more leads to follow despite everyone working in overdrive. They were waiting for forensic reports on the bodies. Emotions were running high and when Lieutenant Carranza had become involved in the investigation –her investigation- through Barba's concern, he had sent the team home for a few hours, and had "strongly recommended" she didn't show up back there until the morning. And, since she wasn't alone, she couldn't very well go anywhere else at this time of night. But it wasn't hers, or Carranza's, investigation that would catch Lewis. He would be the one to make contact, she knew that. She just couldn't stand the waiting, not after that first phone call that had made her feel sick to her stomach.

Pumped up on fear, rage and lack of sleep, her body was in a persistent state of hyperarousal. She didn't know if she had a breaking point, but if she did, this was definitely it. Let him come, then. I'm ready. Her hand touched the gun she was carrying on her body at all times. But she didn't want him here, not in her safe space, her apartment. She didn't want to have to move again. She glanced out the window again. She could have sworn she had just seen Nick's car going by – Nick, who had followed her home against her express command. They had all offered to stay with her, had offered for her to crash at their place, but she had declined. Still, she had overheard them talking about working out some kind of system, and falling quiet when she had approached them. She hated that they did that now, talking about her in hushed voices like she was something fragile to be sheltered. She wasn't going to put any of them at risk, and either way, it was only a matter of time until Lewis figured it out. She had made it clear to them that they were not to go off investigating on their own off duty, that no accident would befall Lewis should they happen to find him. Of course, if they did find him first, he didn't stand a chance.

Her radio cracked, making her jump out of her skin. "Sergeant Benson, this is Officer Marowe. There's a man downstairs to see you. We have been able to confirm his i.d.."

"Who is it?"

"Detective Brian Cassidy."

She took a deep breath. So he had heard. Well, it was impossible not to, with the search going on. She couldn't send him away. "Let him in."

A seemingly eternal wait and another radio call from the hallway later, she opened the door and let him step into their apartment. It was a bizarre feeling, for her to have the power to let him in or decline him entry. This was his place as much as hers.

"Bri…" She didn't know what she had intended to say. He looked rugged and unshaved. Before she could try and think of something appropriate, he pulled her into a wordless hug. She tensed up as he wrapped his arms around her. If she let go now, she might lose it, and that was the last thing she wanted. He smelled and felt the same way as always. She clutched his jacket and gave into the embrace for just a moment, just that one moment, before breaking away.

"Any leads?" he asked.

"Loads of false leads. Nothing that amounts to anything so far."

"I'm so sorry" he said awkwardly. "Are you okay?"

"Hell no. My abductor broke out of prison." She ran one hand through her messy hair. "But I'm managing."

"Sorry, stupid question."

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be UC-"

He shook his head. "Doesn't matter now. Look, I only just heard. I would have-"

"You didn't need to come" she clarified.

He looked at her incredulously. "Of course I had to."

"We broke up." It was harsh, she knew, but her mind was beyond the point of being able to be subtle. She didn't need him to rush back here to save her. She could look after herself.

His face hardened. "I remember. Does that really matter right now?"

"No." She didn't have time to think about anything but Lewis at the moment, anything but the gnawing apprehension and fight to stay in the present, to analyse his movements with some kind of detachment. Everything that had come before, everything that might come after, was like a story out of a different life right now, an illusion of safety she had once had.

"I want to stay with you" he proposed, equally forward.

"No."

"Why not?"

"No need. I have a protective detail." She started pacing again, unable to stand still for a moment. "I'm heading back to the precinct in a bit. I don't have time…I have enough people watching my back. You don't need to worry."

"I know. Do you realise Amaro's practically camping outside your building?"

She shook her head. "Yeah. Not at my request."

"Obviously. But that's not why I'm here." His features softened, his expression changing to one of concern.

"Why then?"

"I don't want you to be alone."

"I won't do anything stupid, promise."

"Good, but I mean…this…it's horrible. I don't want you to have to deal with that by yourself." He knew. God, he, of all people, knew most what it meant, what it was doing to her to be under constant threat again.

"I…" She opened her mouth and closed it again, swallowing back the lump in her throat. "That's very sweet, thank you. But considering recent events, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Please" he appealed to her irrational side. "I'll stay as a friend, on your terms, I'll sleep on the couch and leave you be. Just let me stay."

'A friend', what a bizarre expression. How easy it would be to just give in. To not be alone in the dark apartment. And how very wrong. If something happened and she did get a chance to go after Lewis, she knew he would hold her back. She could see that he was seeking her out for his own sake as well, so he didn't have to sit home alone and worry about her. But she couldn't think anymore, she was too tired for that, too tired to weigh up pros and cons, to argue about this or figure out a clever way of getting him off her back. "For tonight" she agreed quietly. "Thank you."

He nodded, satisfied, walking into the apartment and taking a look around. "They checked all the ways of getting in?" He was in neutral cop mode, which was safe territory for them.

"Yes. But you know we were pretty careful when we picked this place." They had had a state of the art alarm system installed. There was no balcony, no way of getting in via neighbouring apartments.

"I remember." He checked the window frames as she had just done. "And they searched the place? Properly?"

"Of course they did." Too many questions. If Lewis had been hiding inside the apartment, she would most likely be dead by now.

He covered his mouth and shook his head. Now he was the one who was pacing. "How the fuck did he get out?!"

"How the fuck did no one manage to make those charges stick for over a decade?" She sank down on the sofa, burying her head in her hands. "He's smart."

"What kind of idiot doctor buys into his fake seizure crap?" Anger. It was the stage she had passed a few hours ago.

"There's no point in blaming the victim. You know what happened in court last time." She clearly didn't need to remind him of how Lewis had played the jury.

"So what's his play, here? Why hasn't he done anything yet?"

"I don't know" she replied, exasperated with the questions she had been trying to answer a million times. "Hoping we'll stop watching him so closely? Making us chase our tails, for the fun of it?"

"Do you have any of his file here?"

She didn't. All that she had was the transcript of her own court case, which she had obtained via slightly improper means in order to study them for any clues. "No, and you're not looking at his file."

"A pair of fresh eyes can't hurt; I need to find him-"

"No. Listen to me, Brian" she stressed more loudly, seeing him open his mouth to object again, "you're not going to find new information in there. You're not objective. There are hundreds of people out there who want nothing more than to find Lewis, and I got a bunch of people who I hope to God are not the ones to track him down, because if they do, they'll kill him and go to jail for it. You want to help? You can stay here, because it…it helps not to be alone. Okay?"

"Okay" he replied powerlessly, dropping the argument. "Okay." He sat down next to her, leaning forward with his forearms on his thighs, his hands folded.

"Thank you."

"Shit" he muttered.

"You can say that again. I thought this was done." She rubbed her eyes. Her make-up had been on for far too long, causing them to itch. "I thought it was over. And now he killed those people…the guard and…just to get to me."

"You can't think like that. This is not your fault."

"He can't let me win. I won, but the wrong way." She struggled to find the words, not sure how much he could understand from the outside, how much these dynamics between her and Lewis made sense. "He can't allow that. I played the game."

"It's not a game" he said, aghast. "You did what you had to do to survive, to put him away. It's real. It's not a game."

"It is to him."

"Because he's a sick pervert!" His jaw was clenched under the strain of containing that rage. "You can't think like him."

"How else am I supposed to find him?"

"Maybe it's not your job to find him! He's hurt you enough-"

"I played the game." She looked at him, desperately willing him to understand. It was her inner world of violence, her personal nightmare that she had never wanted him to become a part of, that she had never wanted to put inside his head. "Don't you get it? I let him get to me. He got me to use violence, to beat him brutally to a point where I could barely stop-

"-but you did-"

She held up her hand, shushing him. "I'm not saying he didn't deserve it, but in a sick way, I did what he wanted. I crossed that line. And I lied about it on the stand."

"Because good people don't lie?" he exclaimed. "This is Lewis we're talking about! He had to be stopped!"

"That's not the point." Her voice was barely above a whisper now. "I did what I did. And he can't leave it at that; he can't let me win. He'll get back at me, and more people will suffer."

"Liv." He put his hand on her upper back, but she shrugged it off, unable to tolerate the contact. "Liv…please…that's what he wants you to think. That's what he's trying to put into your head, how he gets control. That doesn't make it true."

"It really doesn't matter now." This wasn't the time for fundamental discussions about her head. "We need to find him before even more people get hurt."

"Yes. And the best way to do that is after a break that you actually use to rest."

"Rest" she scoffed. "Do you really think I can sleep now?"

"You're exhausted, you know you are. It's affecting your judgement." He was good at this, she thought, good at finding the point that he knew would work with her. "Go lie down, try at least. I'll stay right here."

She gave in, forcing herself to exhale the breath she had been holding. "Thank you."