"Do you know how you know that I love you, Jacks?"
The words were barely out of Stiles's mouth before he wondered if he shouldn't have used the "L" word. Just because Jackson didn't say it didn't mean that Stiles couldn't though right? Stiles was sitting on a blanket with his back to a tree. His boyfriend—he wasn't really over the excitement of getting to think of Jackson as his boyfriend—had his head resting on Stiles's lap. He didn't open his eyes or pull away, and his brow didn't even furrow in that adorable little way that meant he was exasperated with something Stiles was doing.
"The way you touch me," Jackson said.
Stiles ran his fingers through Jackson's hair. "Like this?"
"Mmhmm." Jackson tilted his head up into Stiles's touch. "I hear it in your voice, see it in your eyes."
"Yeah?"
Jackson nodded, letting out a soft sigh as Stiles stroked his hair. He reached up with one hand and curled his fingers in the bottom of Stiles's shirt, like he was trying to make sure that he wasn't going anywhere. Warmth spread through Stiles's belly and chest.
"You going to tell me the reason you thought of?"
Absolutely not. He was aiming to make a joke, to be playful, and instead Jackson just opened up to him more than he was expecting. This whole camping trip had turned into one of the best weekends of his life.
"I was going to say the same thing."
Jackson opened sky blue eyes and fixed them suspiciously on Stiles. That wasn't good. He was going to crack. Even under the best of circumstances Stiles was prone to cracking under scrutiny, and while Jackson resting on his lap on a warm Sunday afternoon was a kind of best circumstances, it just made him even more susceptible. Curse his weakness.
"I was going to say because I'm missing Game of Thrones to spend the night with you."
Jackson snorted in disbelief, and it was unfair that it was also sort of cute. He wondered if there was anything Jackson could do that wasn't cute. Man he had it baaaaadddddd. Whatever he wasn't even a little ashamed.
"Is that your way of telling me you don't want to stay here tonight?"
Stiles gasped in mock outrage, tightened his grip in Jackson's hair playfully, and put his other hand on Jackson's chest like he was attempting to hold him down. "I wouldn't let you get away if you tried." Jackson's back arched up a little bit when Stiles playfully pulled on his hair and it sent a different type of warmth rushing through his stomach.
"You don't seriously think you could keep me in place if I didn't want to be here, right?"
"Is that a challenge?"
Jackson laughed, and a week ago, maybe even less, it probably would have hurt Stiles. It wasn't snide though, and Stiles didn't even realize he was expecting it to be until he was surprised that it wasn't.
"You know that I would win if we wrestled, right?"
Stiles tugged on Jackson's hair playfully again. "Is there really a loser if we started wrestling though?" The shift in mood was getting to Stiles in the best kind of way.
"You know how I know that you love me?" Jackson asked.
"Cause I pull your hair the way you like?"
Pink suffused Jackson's cheeks, and yeah, he did do everything cute.
"Because I can feel your cock getting hard against the back of my neck."
It was Stiles's turn to feel heat rushing to his face. He licked his lips nervously, and then bit his lower lip when he noticed Jackson's gaze lock on to the movement. He'd made several comments about his mouth as their relationship developed, some good and some bad.
"I really like that," Jackson said, reaching up to grab the collar of Stiles's shirt and pull him down for a kiss.
"My mouth," Stiles whispered against Jackson's lips, "or my cock?"
Jackson groaned into their kiss, he tried to respond, but Stiles took the opportunity to suck Jackson's tongue into his mouth. He scratched his nails over Jackson's scalp. Stiles wasn't really sure if he'd ever stop being surprised at how enthusiastically Jackson responded to him physically. At the beginning that was the only thing that seemed to work between them.
Sexual attraction had never really been their problem. Jackson twisted onto his side, then got to his knees. There was naked hunger in his eyes. He straddled Stiles's lap, running his hands over Stiles's neck and shoulders as he leaned in for another kiss.
"Let me take care of you," Jackson said between kisses. "I want to make you feel good."
Stiles didn't have the breath to verbally agree, but he put his hands on Jackson's ass and pulled him closer in enthusiastic invitation. It seemed almost physically painful for Jackson to pull back from their kissing. He practically tore Stiles's shirt in his haste to pull it off over his head. The sudden furious need rolling off Jackson made Stiles's head spin.
"Fuck, Stiles. I want you so bad." Jackson trembled as he pulled Stiles away from the tree he'd been leaning against and then pushed him down onto his back. His hands shook as he began to undo Stiles's belt.
"Hey, Jacks, you're okay. I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right?"
Jackson nodded. "Yeah," he said, but like maybe he didn't really know that. His voice had cracked a bit when he said it, and his hands stilled on Stiles's belt. He closed his eyes, started taking deep breaths like he was trying to calm himself down.
Stiles reached out, running soothing hands over Jackson's forearms. "I'm not going anywhere. You can go as fast or as slow as you want. Whatever makes you feel good. I'll be right here."
"Stiles…"
"Yeah?"
"D-do you know how I know I…"
Stiles froze, forgot how to breathe. Jackson leaned over, rested his forehead against Stiles's, he had his eyes closed. He wasn't shaking anymore though, and he brought his arms up taking Stiles's face in his hands as he leaned over him. Placed a few soft kisses on Stiles's stunned lips.
"Do you know how I know that I love you?"
Stiles's throat hurt, in a good way, and he blinked as tears formed in his eyes. He didn't even know that his throat could hurt in a good way. Tears fell onto Stiles face, mixing with the ones already there.
"I know I love you because I believe you when you say you're not going anywhere."