August 21st

Andrew was walking through the hallways of Chaldea, and according to the clock, it was about eight in the evening when he ran into Da Vinci holding several cans of beer in her arms.

"Oh, hey Da Vinci. There a party going on or something?" Andrew asked of the alcohol-laden Renaissance Woman.

"Didn't Romani tell you?" Da Vinci asked.

"Tell me what? Is there something special today or something?" Andrew asked.

"Well, we are nearing the end of summer, and with the solar eclipse having supposed to happen today, we thought that we could have a little Harvest Moon Festival to relax a bit, by having some drinks and sweet snacks. Our chefs have been making tons of dumplings for us to eat. And seems Romani forgot to call and tell you to come. Well, it's a good thing you ran into me then." Da Vinci explained.

"Yeah, a good thing. Though I've never been to a Harvest Moon Festival, is that just a thing from farmers in general or is it a specific culture's festival?" Andrew asked, curious as to the ways of non-city folk.

"A bit of influence from our more oriental Servants in regards to the dumplings, but it's just a way to celebrate a good harvest, Grails in our case." Da Vinci said.

"Ah, gotcha. Seems like that'll be fun." Andrew said. "Where are we having this Festival?"

As Da Vinci was about to answer. The sound of a siren was heard throughout the hall. "Hey, why is the alarm going off?" Da Vinci asked.

"Dammit, please don't be another bomb," Andrew said as he rapidly started putting on as much of Tenfold Shields as he could so he'd at least be able to something.

"Come let's head down to the command deck." Da Vinci said.

"Right."

They quickly ran towards the command deck, all thoughts of celebration pushed far from Andrew's mind. Even though he managed to get the legs of Tenfold Shields on before they had run down Da Vinci beat him to the command deck.

There they were meet by Dr. Roman who just looked confused. Well, at least the room wasn't on fire again.

"Hey, do you two have any idea of why the alarm went off?" He asked but as he did the siren finally cut off.

"Shouldn't you be the one who knows that sort of thing Boss?" Andrew asked, taking the time to finish putting on Tenfold Shields. Even if the siren had stopped, there was a pretty good chance it wasn't a literal false alarm.

"I didn't activate it, technically we all can in case of an emergency through the armbands, so I

need to check which one sent the signal," Roman said though that mystery was quickly answered.

"I'm the one that hit the alarm," Mash said as she ran over to them. "Cause we have an emergency."

"What kind of emergency?" Andrew asked of his Kouhai.

"Someone has stolen all the dumplings we made, and the special ones I made specifically for Senpai," Mash said.

"What," Andrew said flatly. "The dumplings going missing constitutes using the same alarm we use when a bomb goes off?"

"Also the staff registered the fact somebody used a Rayshift three minutes ago," Mash added.

"Wait, that's not possible." Came the response from Da Vinci and Roman.

"I feel like that's more important than the dumplings going missing, Kouhai," Andrew said. "Lemme see if it was one of the Servants." He said, about to send a telepathic message.

"Don't bother with that Andrew all Servant's are present inside of Chaldea." Da Vinci said a hologram floating above her hand.

"Are sure? As in, do you have visual confirmation that they're all here and not just tracking their wristbands?" Andrew asked. "Since you didn't know about someone Rayshifting without your permission till just now."

"Tracking their Saint Graph specifically, and I'm also detecting remnants of an unknown Servant that was here. That's why we said that it should be impossible. For only you and your contracted Servants can Rayshift, Andrew."

"Sorry for doubting your genius Da Vinci, but that just raises another question- how in the fuck was there another Servant in Chaldea, and how did we not know about it?" Andrew asked, obviously afraid of the implications.

"I think I have a theory, Chaldea is in its own little special dimension, a little outside of time, but still moving chronologically forward. No one should be able to enter, and the only way to leave is via Rayshift to Singularities, which as stated before only you and your Servants can do. But many Heroic Spirits were of extreme power and magic in life, allowing them to affect things outside of The Throne in minimal ways. So here is my theory the Servant that stole the dumplings and Rayshifted out, is a Servant you have yet to contract with, you following me?" She asked.

"...So your saying I somehow accidentally summoned but didn't actually become the Master of a Servant? Or that it summoned itself and this is some sort of test?" Andrew asked, not quite sure.

"Ah, I get it." Came Roman's voice. "Causality has been reversed, from you will, to you have, which allowed the Servant to materialize itself. Though why did it steal our dumplings?"

"So I Gae Bolg'd the summoning, that's...oddly plausible. But we'll probably find out about the dumplings once we go and drag this Servant back here and make them join us. Speaking off, do we know where did they Rayshifted to?" Andrew asked, slightly off-put at how odd yet not out of place the entire situation was now that it was adequately contextualized.

"They to one of the lesser Singularities, the physical space is France though the era is two hundred years later from the Greater France Singularity." Da Vinci answered.

"Alright let's go and get our dumplings back Senpai. Before the Artorias figure out that the food is gone." Mash said.

"Right. Now, who to bring…" Andrew trailed off as they headed for the coffins.

Xxx

"Alright Senpai we are in France, it's night, and our communications are down so I can't contact the Doctor… Great." Mash said.

"Hmm. That's not suspicious or worrying at all." Andrew said sarcastically before turning to the other Servants. "Emiya, be on high alert for threats. Robin, Hassan, you two will scout out the area once we establish a base. Ushi, stay close to Mash and me. And Darius…" Andrew stared up at the Berserker who was once more consumed by rage. "Stay close by, but stay in Astral form for right now."

The Servants did as ordered. Three of them disappeared, and Emiya came with a snarky remark. "I hope the Servant hasn't touched those Dumplings I've spent hours making those making sure there was enough to everybody. Though I do wonder how they managed to steal all ten tons of it." He said.

Andrew looked at the Counter Guardian in surprise. "You made ten tons of dumplings? By God, I think that might actually be enough to sate the endless abyss that is the Artorias!"

"Why did you think I made so much, they are sweet snacks and don't actually fill that much."

"And if they have, I shall bring their heads to you, my Lord," Ushi said, hand on her katana ready to be drawn.

"No, no no, not doing that Ushi. We're here to contract the Servant, not kill them." Andrew said. "This is more of a capture and recovery mission than a killing one."

"I understand my Lord."

"Hmm, Master we found something." Came Robin's mental voice which sounded very nervous, like something was stuck in his throat.

Andrew turned towards where his connection to Robin said the Servant was and got ready to run to meet him if need be. "As in 'enemy' or 'interesting'?" He asked telepathically.

"The latter one, found an unknown Servant don't know if she is the thief or not there aren't giant bags of dumplings, but there some laying on the ground, but she has to be seen to be believed."

"Coming to your location ASAP," Andrew said before signalling for the rest of the Servants to follow as they made their way over to Robin and Hassan's location, stopping upon getting within a few feet of the two and seeing a white-haired woman in a white-to-red dress that left practically nothing to the imagination (though with her...assets Andrew doubted anything could hide her figure) holding an oddly shaped stringless bow. Most strangely, there was a small, seemingly alive teddy bear dressed like a caveman. The woman was eating dumplings while the bear just sat on her shoulder.

"Dayum." Andrew couldn't help but say under his breath upon noticing the ample tracts of land the woman possessed, before clearing his throat and speaking up. "Excuse me, fair maiden, you wouldn't have happened to have taken those dumplings from our kitchen, would you?"

She lifted her eyes and turned her attention to Andrew and his group. "My to accuse a woman of being a thief, but to answer no, I found them laying on the ground, I was hungry, and I couldn't let them go to waste, or the animals were going to." She answered.

Andrew nodded sagely. "That makes sense; few can resist the allure of Archer's cooking, among both the Heroic and the mortal."

"I guess that is one in red, by the way, my name is Orion an Archer Class Servant." She answered happily.

"Wait, Orion is supposed to be male." Came Mash's voice.

"Well, Truth is stranger than fiction as so they say." Was the Archer's response.

Andrew was at that moment very happy his helmet obscured his expression because he was certain he must have looked like an absolute fool as his brain crashed and attempted to reboot at that revelation. After a moment he was able to regain some semblance of cognizance, though before he could say anything Emiya spoke.

"She is telling the truth Mash as shocking as it might be, that bow is the never miss one of Orion," said Emiya.

Andrew used his Stat-o-Vision on the white-haired Servant to confirm her identity; after all, it wouldn't return much information if he had the wrong True Name.

[spoiler=Orion's Stat Sheet]

True Name: Orion

Class: Archer

Master:-

Parameters:

Strength: D

Endurance: C

Agility: B

Mana: A

Luck: A+

Noble Phantasm: A+

Class Skills:

Independent Action: A+

Magic Resistance: D

Personal Skills:

Affections of the Goddess: EX

Whimsical Bonds: A+

Eye of the Mind(False): B-

Noble Phantasm:

Tri-star Amore Mio: Moon Goddess's Arrows of Love and Romance(Anti-Unit): A+

[/spoiler]

Upon seeing the first skill and Noble Phantasm, Andrew no longer doubted the veracity of her claim. Only doubting how on earth any Greek storyteller could have possibly mistaken her for a man.

"Then, Orion, it would be rude of me not to introduce myself as well. I am Andrew Murphy, Master of Chaldea. My Servants and I have arrived here to catch a thief who stole ten tons of dumplings we had prepared for a festival. You wouldn't have happened to see anyone who could have been that thief, would you?" Andrew asked.

"Well, saw them fall out of wagon carrying various sacks, escorted by a lot of Servants at least nine or so. They were heading to an old ruined castle to a party, at least that was what I heard them shout. Except one of them, he kept screaming NEROOO! whoever that is." She answered.

Andrew sighed. "Well, at least we know one of them is Caligula. But nine Servants? This might be tougher than I thought…" He turned to Ushiwakamaru. "You might end up doing your thing anyway, Ushi."

"Yay." She said.

Andrew would have found that incredibly disconcerting coming from a normal child, but considering Ushiwakamaru was a Servant he was only mildly disconcerted. "Orion, you're one of the greatest hunters of Greek myth, would you like to join us in our Hunt for Dumpling Thieves?" Andrew said, knowing precisely how silly that sounded but deciding he didn't care anymore.

"I would love to Andrew, my nose shall lead us to those sweet dumplings, we shall head towards where the moon currently is. Though first." Orion said as she spun around and fired several light arrows into the forest by whipping her bow around, that was in front of them, and they all heard the sound of pained howls.

"That was the worst piece of archery I have ever seen." Said Emiya.

"Sorry, a few werewolves were trying to sneak up on us, probably attracted by the dumplings' smell."

"Ah. Well, if you would be so kind, shall we be off?" Andrew asked of the Greek hunter.

"That we shall."

At that, they all set off towards the dumplings Orion leading them. It took a bit to find the thieves, but they managed to come upon all of them. They were all sitting around a large fire separated into three groups with a sack of dumplings each, the seven other sitting in between them.

What surprised Andrew more was who the groups were composed of.

Marie, Sanson, Deon, Mozart, Kojiro, George, Martha, Caligula and Caesar.

"Hmm, it seems that somehow new editions of our friends and enemies were summoned into the Singularity, probably called upon the deliciousness of the dumplings," Emiya said.

"So, we got four Frenchmen, a trio of Dragonslayers and a duo of Roman Emperors." Came Orion. "This should be fun."

"Please don't shoot until they prove hostile, Orion. I want to at least try to resolve this peacefully." Andrew said to the white-haired hunter. "But, everyone, be prepared to attack if they are hostile." He ordered before speaking up so the thieves could hear him. "Excuse me, I do believe you all have taken our dumplings. If you return the remaining ones now, then no harm shall come to you, and we will leave in peace. This is your one and only warning."

"Never, we found these, so they are ours. You shall not have these sweets, for their fat shall give me bigger breasts!" Shouted Marie. "Sanson take off their heads."

"Yes, they're ours, attack!" Came the rest of the dumpling mad Servants.

"Hmm. I was hoping we wouldn't have to do this." Andrew sighed. "Ushi, by this Command Seal, destroy as many of them as you can with your Noble Phantasm," Andrew ordered.

"Acknowledged Secret Technique: Dan-No-Ura!" She shouted as seemed to blitz towards Marie her first chosen target, and then…

Did Marie just counter by biting the sword into pieces? "Fool you can't stop me for I'm a Killer Queen, dynamite with a laser beam, well not really Guillotine Breaker!"

"Well, time to kick their asses. Everybody attack!" Shouted Orion as she began to fire arrows at the enemy.

What followed next Andrew would almost call a comedy, as they went at each other shouting ludicrous stuff at the top of their lungs. Even Mash having joined in by telling. "The criminal scum to stop."

Though after what seemed an eternity their side emerged as victorious. The enemy Servant having been felled and groaning and moaning in pain on the ground.

"Alright you win, you can have the dumplings, never should have gone up against a Five Star." Came the words from Caesar.

"We won Senpai," Mash said as she joined Andrew by his side.

"Yeah, I guess," Andrew said, still trying to process the kerfuffle that had just occurred. Apparently, Caligula's Noble Phantasm worked really well when dumplings got involved considering how mad literally everyone had been acting. He'd honestly been compelled to yell something about 'dumplings for the dumpling god' and rush in, and the only thing that had held him back was his want to not die. "Let's grab the dumplings and get out of here. This has given me such a headache…"

Mash nodded, and they went to grab the dumplings, though the one Andrew grabbed felt particular heavy more so than the ton that should be in it.

"NOM!NOM!NOM!" Came the sound from the sack.

"Mana Burst," Andrew said immediately and slammed the sack on the ground before stepping back in case that had only angered whatever had been in the bag.

And a second later Andrew watched as Altera's head stuck out of the sack looking rather comical all things considered. "Au!"

"Ah, Altera what you doing here? Watch out Andrew that woman is one who destroys everything she comes in contact with, all civilizations fall before her." Orion said.

"That's not true I do make distinctions! Nom! Nom. There is Good and Bad Civilisation. Dumplings are Good Civilisation. Moon Festival is Bad Civilisation. So I take the dumplings and destroy your festival. Nom." She said as she pushed more dumplings into her mouth. "If you get in my way I will destroy with this War God's sword I just happened to find on the ground." She said waving around her popsicle sword her lower half still in the sack.

"What do you mean "happen to find?" Everything you use turns into it." Said, Orion.

"...Would unlimited dumplings be considered Good enough Civilisation to help prevent the end of all other Good Civilisation?" Andrew asked of the dumpling gobbling Attila the Hun who he still couldn't parse properly.

"You have more dumplings?" She asked.

"Yes, and all other kinds of food that Emiya can cook for you," Mash said.

"Hey, don't get me involved in this!"

"Emiya I will use a Command Seal on you if I have to, just let me negotiate right now!" Andrew said hurriedly to the Archer before turning back to Altera. "What my Kouhai says is true, the cooks at Chaldea, of which Emiya is one of as am I, can make as much delicious food as you want if you become my Servant, which I must add means you can pick and choose when you do and don't go on a mission."

"Food is Good Civilization, Chaldea makes food, so Chaldea must be Good Civilisation. I shall follow you, Master." Altera said as she stepped out of the sack.

"Then all we need to do is shake hands to seal the deal," Andrew said, holding out his hand to her.

Altera reached out with her hand carefully, seemingly not sure what to actually do. But her hand grasped his.

Andrew was very happy she didn't crush his hand in hers as he knew she could very well do. "Then, I, Andrew Murphy, shall become your Master." he waited a moment in awkward silence before stage whispering. "This is the part where you say your name and that you accept."

"Ah, okay I Altera accept, I shall destroy all that you wish me to." She answered.

"Then the contract is sealed. Fate has brought the two of us together; may we ever triumph in the fight to save hu-...Good Civilisation." Andrew said, changing his normal spiel slightly.

"Hey, Andrew, Mash can you hear me now I'm detecting the provisions near you, so I'm Rayshifting you back in a minute." Came Roman's voice.

"Coming in loud an clear Boss, we've recovered the Dumplings and at least one more Servant," Andrew said before looking at Orion. "Potentially a second. Over."

"So are we gonna cancel the deception now." Came a male voice from the bear on Orion's shoulder.

"Guess so, my darling. This was really fun Andrew this Harvest Festival in my image sorry about taking the dumplings. We won't be joining you now, we shall meet again on the sea with no borders. My true name is Artemis the Moon Goddess. And thanks darling for letting me borrow your body. See you later." At that, she disappeared.

"...I have. So many questions." Andrew said. "And a massive headache. Let's just...leave." He said, looking over the other Servants to see if any of them were cognizant enough to potentially form a contract, but they were all gone. He sighed again. He really needed to stop questioning things.

And it was at that they through the blue vortex, and they were all back in Chaldea and all hopefully normal now that they weren't near the effect of Caligula's Noble Phantasm.

Xxx

"So that's your field report?" Dr. Roman asked taking a bite of a dumpling; he and Andrew were sitting at a table along with Da Vinci and Mash plus Altera, as the Servant hadn't left his side since they had come back from that weirdness.

Andrew sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time that night. "Yup. In not as many words, The Greek Gods Are Assholes." He said before finishing the dumpling he had been holding. Emiya's cooking was definitely the best.

"You're preaching to the choir Master!" Came the yell from either Medea or Medusa from the other end of the room.

Followed by a "Hey," Which he assumed to be Stheno.

"You don't count, your just asshole-ish Stheno," Andrew said back, recalling how she had and still treated Medusa.

Curses from the small woman followed soon.

"Anyway, you mentioned that she said you would meet at the sea with no borders. Do you think that could be the next Singularity?" Roman asked taking a sip of the beer Da Vinci had provided.

"I'm 99% certain that's what she meant, which is a little worrisome that the Greek gods can apparently just know where we're going before we do and summon themselves into our base to mess with us," Andrew said, heavily considering cracking open one of the beers on the table.

"Yes, but it seems that only Artemis can due to her special connection to Orion." Da Vinci said. "For Divine Spirits reside in the Reverse Side of The World, which there is confirmation of it being atemporal in nature. It does not perceive time as we do."

"Mhm. I still don't like it. For all, we know there could be an Artemis-equivalent for every pantheon in existence who'll just pop in to mess with us. Hell, I'm pretty sure Zeus has enough mortal lovers he could probably fudge the system like Artemis too." Andrew said.

"If they care enough that is." Da Vinci pointed out.

"We're the only people left for them to mess around with." Came Andrew's somber counterpoint.

"We should probably make defenses against any tricksters deciding to show up. Those would be the biggest threat." Da Vinci.

That sent a shiver up Andrew's spine. "I really don't want to see Loki decide to stop by if he isn't on our side, so I absolutely agree on setting up some defenses." He paused. "Do not base those defenses on Gilgamesh's Chain-" Andrew didn't dare say the name out loud "-Noble Phantasm or any derivative of it."

"Hmm, I make something that surpasses those that held the wolf, dwarves never had to contend with a true genius."

"Don't blow your own ego up to much Da Vinci-Chan." Roman teased.

"Say that again Romani, and I will freeze your second head off."

"Okay, I'm leaving." The doctor declared as he left the table.

"For future reference, was the threat because he implied you weren't the smartest or because of the suffix?" Andrew said, need to know for the future to ensure his own safety.

"Questioning my genius of course. I have known the man for years, and he still does it. Anyway, Andrew, I can be your Da Vinci-Chan if you want." She said with a certain smile.

"No signora, grazie ma no." Andrew said.

"Oh how sad, will if you change your mind just come down to my Workshop past 10 I go nude there."

"Noted," Andrew said before getting up to get more dumplings. Altera followed right behind him. He turned to her as they walked. "You haven't been eating as many dumplings as I thought you would be, Altera. Did you get your fill already?" He asked, worried about how much of how she had been acting earlier was actually her, and if he had contracted her while she was basically drugged out of her mind by Moon Juice.

"I'm eating just as much as you Master." She answered.

Andrew frowned. He'd only eaten one or two since they'd gotten back since he'd been briefing Roman. "And how much do you want to eat?"

"Am I allowed to?" She asked.

"As long as you do it politely, yes. I promised you as much good food as you like, and I'm going to keep that promise." Andrew said. "So, eat as many as you please."

Altera nodded and went over to where Boudicca was serving dumplings to some of the other Servants.

Where her plate was filled looking more like Lily's and Alter's plates.

Andrew smiled as he saw her enjoy herself. He looked out over all of his Servants, all laughing and eating and having a good time. This was good. He was content.

It was a shame they'd be going back to the battlefield soon.