AN: Sorry for the delay, folks. First it was the site problem, then the computers here were down all weekend. Very annoying... Grrrr...
And it seems that everybody has been getting mad at me anyway, and I don't really know why… Heh heh. OK, maybe I keep dangling carrots just out of reach, but...? I guess I Want George has got me figured out: I'm really finding it hard to quit writing this story, because it will absolutely be the final Nick/Alex story.
By the way, if you want to see a beautiful version of Nick confessing his childhood abuse to someone, you should check out ForensicsFan's "Sometimes It Pours", if you haven't already. Seriously, I wish I'd had her writing that particular part of my story!
Nick, Alex and her family stood in the airport lounge saying their goodbyes.
Alex thought she may have convinced Sam to come down to Vegas to see them, since he still had three more weeks of holidays to kill.
"Might not be a bad idea, since I'm up half the night anyway…" He grinned.
Chloe had thrown herself into Alex's arms and then did the same with Nick, kissing them both goodbye.
"It's shocking how shy that kid is." Maddie laughed.
Lily had hugged Alex and then looked at Nick shyly. Then she giggled hysterically as Nick scooped her up and planted a big kiss on her cheek. She grinned quietly for the rest of the time.
"Well... I think I may just hit the restroom one more time before we board. I hate those cramped ones on the plane." Alex spoke up.
"Yeah, I'll join you. I think I had too much coffee tonight." Sam started to walk with her and they found the restrooms a few hundred meters away.
As they made their way back, Sam was staring at Alex out of the corner of her eye and she finally stopped and looked at him.
"What?"
He looked at her with amusement. "What do you mean, what?"
"Why are you staring at me like that?"
"I don't-"
"Sam..." She gave him a threatening look.
He started to laugh and held up his hands. "OK, OK... I'm just amazed that you finally seemed to open up with everyone a bit the other night."
She stared at him blankly. "I'm gonna need more information than that."
"Oh it's nothing, really." He started to walk again and she trotted to catch up to his long-legged strides.
"What's nothing? Are you deliberately being vague or...?"
He grinned down at her as they walked. "It was just nice to finally hear your real thoughts on marriage."
She felt more confused than ever and he laughed out loud. "You don't remember do you?"
She shook her head, beginning to get annoyed at his little game. "Remember what?"
"Oh, just a little something you said the other night in the car before you passed out..."
They'd reached the others now and Alex's eyes were wide with wonder. Her heart was beating erratically in her chest.
What?!!!
"Alex, you OK?" Her sister looked at her with concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I-" She was still staring at Sam in shock and he was grinning even wider as their final boarding call was announced.
"Oh, sweetheart... I'm going to miss you!" Her mother gave her a big hug, but she continued to stare at Sam over her shoulder.
Maddie gave her brother a look and he smirked back, mouthing the words 'later'. Alex desperately wanted to know what it was she didn't remember from the other night, and started to move towards Sam after her mother released her.
"Sam, I need to-"
"Alex, we better get going." Nick was looking at her now and she fought to hide the nervousness that was shooting through her entire body.
"Yeah, but-"
"Have a good flight, honey. And call us when you get home, OK?" Her father hugged her, then shook Nick's hand.
"Yeah we will, Alan. And thanks for everything. I had a great time."
"You're welcome back any time, Nick. It's been a pleasure."
They all smiled as Nick grabbed Alex's hand and started to lead her away. Just before they crossed the threshold, Alex turned around and looked back at Sam, her eyes shooting daggers at him.
As they disappeared, the Winters clan turned a curious eye to Sam. He shrugged non-committally and started to head out towards the parking area.
Alex had been quiet since they boarded the plane. Nick grabbed her hand and stroked the back softly.
"You OK?"
She smiled up at him, sheepishly.
Oh man... What exactly did I say the other night?
"Alex?"
"Oh yeah... I'm alright. I'm just a little tired, I guess."
He was regarding her closely as usual, and she fought the urge to squirm in her seat.
Damn it... What the hell did I say the other night?
"You sure nothing's bothering you? You seemed a little peeved at Sam back there..."
She worked to cover her strain.
"Oh, that... Seriously, it was nothing. He just made a stupid crack. A brother-sister thing." She smiled up at him, hoping to god he'd let it go. "You must know about that, huh?"
He grinned and nodded. "All too well, I'm afraid."
She snuggled into his shoulder and out of the sightline of his too-perceptive gaze. "I think I need a nap. Do you mind?"
He squeezed her shoulders affectionately. "Nope. Make yourself comfie. I may just give my new iPod a listen."
She grinned into his shoulder, then closed her eyes. But her mind kept circling around the same question.
What did I say?
She didn't sleep a wink.
Sam was conveniently unavailable when they called to say they'd arrived safely.
Alex wanted to scream. She kept a straight face in front of Nick however, hoping her very own personal investigator didn't realize how high-strung she was still feeling. Fortunately, he was pretty tired once they got home and they went almost immediately to bed.
It took Alex a little longer to doze off, and she stared into the darkness as Nick spooned behind her. As if it hadn't been enough that she'd seen the ring, now she had to worry about whatever stupid thing she'd said the other night while she'd been too drunk to remember.
What could I have said? Is that why... Did I say something to make Nick change his mind about asking me to...?
Nick seemed to be thrown immediately back into work again the next day. And he was working New Year's Eve on top of it all.
She tried to convince herself that it was no big deal; it was just another night, after all…
But as they'd been packing to leave Vancouver, her mind had constantly drifted back to that little ring she'd seen in his bag. She'd started to have the stupid idea that maybe he was waiting for New Year's Eve to propose to her.
But then...
She tried to quell her rising disappointment once again. He'd taken it all the way to Vancouver… And back again. But why hadn't he…
Fuck. What did I say?
She tried to be rational. She couldn't even really be sure he was going to ask her to marry him in the first place.
Realistically, they'd only been together 4 or 5 months.
It's probably too soon to be thinking about marriage anyway. I think I was just fantasizing this whole thing.
New Year's Eve had arrived and she was getting ready to head to a party at the same country bar where she'd once spent another drunken night.
Since the owner was Alison's friend, they were getting in for free. Nick was working, so she really had nothing else to do. And the last thing she wanted to do was sit alone at home thinking about how she may or may not have royally screwed things up. She'd already spent the last few days doing just that.
Nick poked his head into the bathroom and smiled at her. She looked up and smiled, then continued blow-drying.
He walked into the kitchen and rifled through the cupboards looking for something to eat, despite the fact that he'd just finished dinner/breakfast and wasn't hungry at all. He didn't know what else to do with himself while she was getting ready, and it wasn't time to head into work yet.
He heard the blow-dryer stop and he called out. "When did you say you're going again?"
She leaned out the door and smirked at him. "For the twentieth… Or maybe it's the twenty-first time by now… I told her I'd be there by ten."
She laughed at his sheepish look as he apologized. "Sorry. I keep forgetting. And what will you be wearing, again?"
She walked over to him in her robe and wrapped her arms around him as she looked up into his face.
"Um, overalls. Big, baggy overalls… And maybe some work boots. You have any flannel shirts I can wear? Something in a red check?"
He laughed and squeezed her close. "I wish. I don't want you looking sexy for a bunch of other guys."
She squeezed him back. "Well, you could call in sick…" She grinned, knowing he'd never do it.
He looked down at her with regret. "I'm almost tempted to."
She shook her head, laughing. "Nick, I'm not going to this party to pick up. You know that. Has it escaped your notice how much I love you?"
He smiled down at her. "Oh darlin', I know that. I'm not worried about you, trust me. I'm just worried about the guys…"
She pulled back and put up her hands in a boxer's pose. "Don't worry, baby! I can defend myself!"
He let out a bark of laughter and shook his head. He looked at his watch. "You better finish getting ready or you'll be late. And knowing Alison, she'll blame me."
She laughed. "Yeah, she probably would."
Alison seemed to think that every time Alex was late for something, it was because she'd been busy having sex with Nick. She couldn't deny that they had a very healthy sex life, but they weren't that bad. Alex kept trying to convince Alison that she needed to try a real relationship out one of these days so she'd know what it was actually like.
"I'm going to head in early. I don't think I need to see what you're wearing tonight." He looked at her, eyes excessively full of remorse.
"Nick, Nick, Nick. What am I going to do with you?"
He checked his watch again, and his lips curved into a smile as he looked back at her with new interest. He moved closer to her and she giggled.
"Sorry, no can do. I just had my shower and managed to get my hair straight for a change so…"
He sighed. "Damn. OK then. Well…"
She moved into his arms and kissed him deeply. "I love you and I'm going to miss you tonight." She smiled up at him as she touched his cheek. "And keep your phone free around midnight."
He smiled and kissed her again. "I will."
He slowly let her go and walked to the door. Before he slipped outside, he spoke up.
"Alex?"
She turned to look at him. "Yeah?"
He smiled. "I love you too. Have a good time."
She smiled back and blew him a kiss as he left. She heard him mumbling as he disappeared from sight.
"But not too good a time..."
Alex was enjoying herself... At least at first.
She'd decided not to have more than a drink or two, not interested in a repeat session of the last time she was here. But as the people around her got progressively more drunk, it became harder and harder to talk to most of them. And the ones that spoke to her were mostly fairly drunken guys. The drunker they got, the more she was beginning to regret her choice of wardrobe.
She'd decided New Year's Eve was definitely a black dress occasion, so she'd bought a little number just yesterday that she'd really liked. It was form fitting with a high neck in the front, but bare arms and a low cut back. It fell to just below her knees, and she'd worn a slightly higher heel than she was usually comfortable wearing, but she wanted to feel tall for a change.
And apparently a few of the more sloshed guys liked the dress as well. She moved out of reach of the last one who seemed interested in running his hand down her bare back.
Alex looked at the wall clock behind the bar. Five minutes to midnight. She opend her handbag and found her cell phone.
Maybe I'll just find a quiet place and call Nick a bit early before it gets too crazy here.
She slipped out a patio door and stood on a balcony. Surprisingly, nobody else was outside, but then it was a bit chilly. She dialled Nick's cell phone and wrapped her arms around herself for warmth.
"Stokes."
She smiled into her phone. "I love you."
She could almost hear him smiling on the other end. "Um, hi there… Just a second, OK?"
She waited a moment and then he came back on. "Sorry. I just moved into the hallway. I was playing cards with Greg."
"Oh, big night, huh? I always figured New Year's would be a bit nutty for you guys. Especially since it's Las Vegas."
"Yeah, well it could hit the fan at any time. We're just quiet right now. So… How's the party?"
"Not bad actually, but I think I'm the only sober person here."
"You're not drinking?"
"Not really. I had a couple glasses of wine. I'm on water right now."
He laughed. "What, no repeater of that night in Vancouver?"
"Ah, no thank you."
She tried to push down the inevitable question that came up every time she thought of that night. She re-focussed on the conversation at hand. "And I want to be able to drive home."
"Right. There'll be lots of cops out tonight so be careful."
"I will. So, uh… Miss me?"
He groaned. "You have no idea. It's really boring here, and I keep picturing you looking all hot in that dress."
She smiled. "Sorry. If it's any consolation, I'm sort of bored myself. I wish you were here." She shivered a bit and drew in a chilled breath.
"Are you cold? Where are you?"
"I'm on a balcony. It's quieter here."
She could hear the countdown beginning inside. Ten, nine, eight…
"Oh, hon- They're starting the countdown."
"Do you want me to let you go, so you can go back inside and join in?"
"Nah. I'd rather count down with you."
One.
"Happy New Year, Nick."
"Happy New Year, Alex. I love you."
She smiled. "I love you too."
Alex went back inside after she hung up the phone. Everyone in the room was laughing and having a great time, but she just couldn't seem to get back into the spirit of things.
Alison had quizzed her on her mood earlier, and she'd let the other woman think she was just bummed because Nick had to work. It was true, to an extent. She'd hardly spent any time with him since they'd gotten back because he'd been working a lot again.
But mostly she was still concerned that she'd said something stupid that drunken night in Vancouver. Something that made him ignore that beautiful ring she'd seen in his bag.
She sighed to herself. She'd almost gotten up the nerve the other day to ask him what she'd said, but at the last minute she'd chickened out. And so here she was, just as worried as ever that she'd blown it.
He's probably already pawned the ring.
She shook her head at her own self-pity. She knew it was getting her nowhere. And she knew she didn't feel like hanging around here anymore, either. She decided to make her exit and looked around for Alison. The other woman was leading a handsome guy towards the dance floor and she laughed.
Alison always gets her man...
She made her way over and gave her a Happy New Year hug before making her exit. Alison was too drunk to complain that she was cutting out early. Alex said goodbye to a few other people before she left, but she was fairly certain most of them were barely conscious of her departure. She made her way out to her car and started it up. As she backed out onto the street, she paused.
She began to consider the benefits of going home, where she'd only continue to worry about what she may or may not have said to Nick. She'd been too scared to ask him the other day but...
She blew out a stream of air and stared out the windshield ahead of her.
It's New Year's Eve and I haven't made any resolutions.
She put the car in gear and headed down the street.
I wonder if Nick would get into trouble if I stopped by there?
She smiled at herself in the rear-view mirror.
Only one way to find out.