Chapter Thirty-Seven – Rose

Forever is a Long Time

Once again, I found myself pacing up and down in our dormitory, standing in front of Lily and Mary Jane (Alice, angry at not being able to sleep, had disappeared off in the night). This time, it wasn't worry about a date that kept me up, but simply worry that my sister was alive.

I heard the door open and spun around to see Cara standing there.

"Where the HELL have you BEEN?" I screamed, storming forwards and slamming the door behind her before she could escape. "Have you got ANY IDEA how worried I've been?"

She looked shocked for a moment as I grabbed her by her hand and pushed her down, before beginning to pace back and forth in front of her, ranting. "How could you do that to us? ESPECIALLY after what happened to ME! I thought you were DEAD! I thought you'd been KIDNAPPED! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU LET ANY OF US KNOW YOU WERE ALIVE? Alright, I get it, you're mad at me! But that doesn't stop me LOVING you! WHERE WERE YOU?"

She stood up, her face blank. "Stop yelling," she said, her voice sounding completely normal. "And you have no right to ask where I was. You are nothing to me."

I felt as if I'd been slapped in the face. I knew I'd hurt her; hell, I'd hurt myself by believing it! But how could she say that?

"Cara," I said, my voice quieter. "Please. I was really worried about you-"

"Worried?" she asked, laughing her head off. "Oh, you were WORRIED? You are such a fucking hypocrite!" She stood up from the bed to look into my eyes. It was only at that moment that I realised we were the same height – my sister had grown. "You have no right to be worried about me. I don't want you to be worried about me. I don't want you to even think about me. You're my sister! How could you think that?"

"What was I expected to think?" I demanded. "Who was I expected to blame?"

"NOT ME!" she roared. "I'M YOUR SISTER!"

"YES, YOU ARE!" I yelled back. "AND THAT SHOULD MEAN YOU WOULD LISTEN TO ME!"

"IT MEANS YOU SHOULD BELIEVE ME!"

"It's not the first time I've been betrayed by a family member," I spat at her, turning away. "You know that as well as I do!"

"Exactly," she spat back. In her anger she reached out and grabbed my arm, spinning me around to face her. "You betrayed me!"

"I thought you betrayed me," I pointed out.

"I didn't do anything! You should trust me. I'm your only remaining relative," she answered, then added, "And I've always been there for you. And I've always looked out for you, and looked after you, and kept my promises to you. When have you EVER kept your promises to ME?"

"I PROMISED TO KEEP YOU SAFE!" I screamed, turning away from her in disgust. "What the hell was a supposed to do, Ca? Just let you lose your life for as many years as I lost mine? How is that fair?"

She glared at me. "You promised."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I am so, so, so sorry, Ca. You are my sister and I love you and I was doing my best to keep you safe. And that was why I thought you had betrayed me," I finished. "Not because of you, or even Remus really. Because I betrayed you first."

She sobbed and I spun around, wrapping her in my arms. We cried together, holding each other desperately, as if we were the last people alive as the earth stood in ruins, and all those we had loved lay dead around us. And, in a way, it did.

We had lost everyone we had before this place, except for each other. Now, we stood on the brink of losing each other. I couldn't survive that.

I pulled back, wiping my eyes. "I am sorry, Cara. Can you ever forgive me?"

She pulled back too, and wiped her eyes with a tissue. "I don't know. It might take a long time to-" She broke off, upset.

"To learn to trust me again," I finished for her. She smiled sadly and nodded.

"But I will have to," she added with a small smile. "Or I'll have to learn to finish my sentences."

"And we couldn't have that, could we?" I asked her, with a matching small smile.

"Are we forgiven?" asked Lily in a small voice. Cara turned to the other two and smiled, hugging them tightly.

"Of course," she said. "You didn't really do anything."

I swallowed and turned away, not watching my sister forgive the girls she had known for three weeks over me. There, I mused as I stared out of the window, was the root of the problem. They had only known each other for three weeks; we had for a lifetime. I should have trusted her.

"Where were you?" I found myself asking, my voice strange and dispassionate. "Last night. We waited up for you all night. I was terrified."

I could feel her eyes on my neck, but I didn't turn to look at her. "I was with Remus. We stayed in the Shrieking Shack."

I nodded. "I'm going to go and shower. I'll see you all downstairs for breakfast soon. We have Potions, Transfiguration and Defence today. I'll meet you down there."

Then I turned around and left.

I moved through the common room steadily, ignoring everyone who greeted me. When I got downstairs, the boys were sitting together and they looked up and waved me over when they saw me.

I pretended I hadn't seen them and sat at the end of the table, quickly stuffing down some food. I hurried away as soon as I could, walking with my head down. I hurried to Potions.

"Little Rosie," I heard a voice say. I tried to ignore it, but I knew that ignoring a Slytherin could get you seriously injured. I turned around to meet Lucius Malfoy's eyes.

"You look a little unhappy, Rosie dear," he observed. "Trouble in paradise?"

I snorted. "You don't know the meaning of trouble," I told him dryly.

He grinned. "We all saw you yelling at each other outside school, you know. It looks like your sister won't be around to save you next time we get you."

I smiled back, instantly rising to the challenge. "And what makes you think there will be a next time?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow at him.

He smirked. "There is always a next time. The Dark Lord never loses."

I stared at him for a long time, looking him up and down slowly. "I am Rose White," I told him, my voice barely more than a whisper but containing an edge. "I never lose either. So, let's see what happens."

He stepped back at the danger promised in my eyes. "Well, he asked me to tell you that the game is on…"

I looked away, then glanced back, hoping my eyes were unreadable. "Tell him that this is no game. This is war."

He winced, but nodded. "I shall tell the Dark Lord-"

"Tell Tom," I corrected him. "Tell him: "Tom, this is no game. It is war." Tell him that exactly."

"I…" he hesitated. "You know I cannot-"

"You will tell him," I snapped, stepping forwards. He backed away and I followed, stalking him into the wall until our faces were only an inch apart and our bodies were almost pressed against him. "I am your Dark Lady," I said, my voice a harsh whisper. "I am of the oldest pure-blood family in existence. I am your queen. You will do as I say," I told him, finally accepting my birth right. For I was the first born White – Cara had been born three minutes after me – and that made me the heir apparent to the pure-blood dynasty. We never took it up anymore, but in case of a disaster I could take over the Ministry of Magic.

I had that power.

"Do we have an agreement, Lucius?"

He nodded, jerkily, and I released him, stepping back with a smile. The hallway was full, now, and everyone was staring at us. "Nice doing business with you, Mr Malfoy."

I stepped into the Potions room, sitting down and getting out my things. Slughorn had already set work for this lesson, so it shouldn't be too difficult. I lit the fire beneath my cauldron and collected my ingredients before Sirius could even sit down.

He stared at me. "What are you doing?"

"Working," I told him, briskly.

He blinked. "Alright, what have I done to piss you off?" he asked in an almost resigned voice. I looked up at him, surprised.

"Nothing," I said. "What gave you that idea?"

"Well," he muttered, pouring boiled caterpillar blood into his cauldron. "You ignored us at breakfast, were talking to Malfoy – of all people – and you kind of… didn't even look at me. So I assumed it was me."

"No," I told him, softly. "It is not you, Sirius. It's… Cara."

He smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Rose. She's not forgiven you, then?"

"No," I said, equally sadly. "I don't know if she ever will."