HIGHWAY BACK TO HELL

January 25th - Indio, California

Two hours later…

Lily's hands were determined on the wheel. Her head was lost somewhere between the drumming of The Ramones and the names of passing desert valley towns. They were halfway across California when they had made their U-turn from Route 66 onto Highway 10. And now that they were halfway back across the border and into Arizona, she turned the radio down.

Tom stopped tapping his hand on his leg and boot to look at her.

"You didn't say why Tuzla went to Phoenix. What's he doing there?"

"Weapons ring trade, disguised as a cocktail party."

He smirked wickedly and turned the radio back up. Lily soon enough turned it down again.

"Why is he making a trade out here, if he lives in Florida? Don't they have the same weapons and drugs there?"

Tom laughed and shook his head at her.

"What's so funny? I'm serious."

"I know you are. That's why it's funny."

She scowled and waited for him to regain his composure and answer. He eventually did.

"They don't call it the 'Wild West' just for the hell of it you know?"

"Yeah, but that's just old cowboy stuff, like Jesse James and Butch Cassidy."

He twisted his brow at her with a tight lipped smile, "Lil, nothing's changed out here. Guns are still the main sport in these mountains. Everything goes under the radar, that's why outlaws from the east make the pilgrimage out here. They know they can make their deals, get their guns cheap and then hightail it back home. I mean Jesus, half the guys that Jimmy does his business with in Vegas and Reno, are cops."

"No way…" she scoffed, pressing the gas harder.

"I'm not kidding. This isn't the east coast, where there's law enforcement on every corner. And this road you're heading down, the one you so desperately feel you need to take again…"

She shot him a sidelong glance with a bite of her lip.

"Its drop off point is hotter than the hinges itself. Phoenix is Hell right now, simply because Jimmy's there running the show. This little party of his, you'll see."

"See what?"

Tom shuffled in his seat to get comfortable again, sipping at his warm beer before replying, "Let me put it this way. There are only three things on the menu at one of these shindigs…cocaine, guns and cash. With half naked women for dessert."

Lily watched from the corner of her eye as he raised one finger at a time, listing them off for her to visibly see. Her concentration on the road was weakening the more she learned, the more she admitted the danger of it all to herself, despite her best efforts to ignore it.

"What do you think Shane and the guys are planning to do then?"

He sighed with a soft chuckle, "Well, if I know Shane like I still think I do, she's probably planning some sort of a masked counterattack. It's her forte. And all at the scheming hand of that mustache wearing husband of yours, I'm sure."

She giggled at the thought for a second; nearly forgetting that she had let her newly adopted wedding ring sit idly on her finger, sparkling in the California sunrise as she drove. Lily gripped the wheel tighter, her boot firmer on the gas pedal and eyes focused on the blacktop for miles ahead. When her mind had played over a hundred different thoughts and when My Sharona had gained enough finger taps and air guitar solos from her phantom brother in the passenger's seat, she came to only one conclusion.

And it was a whispering plea at that.

"I want to stop and call him, Tommy."

Brewster – Cape Cod

October 23th, 1995

"It's up here a little farther."

Lily tugged him along, as usual, giving him a run, or walk in this case, for his money.

"Easy killer, the thing isn't going anywhere."

"Unless a hurricane blows through here before you can get to the top of the hill."

He stopped then, contemplating her tease in the middle of the road. Lily hesitated to move further, turning to see his twisted brow and well acted out sadness.

"Would you come on and stop being a baby?"

"Say you're sorry."

"No. Come on."

Jeff raised his brow for a moment, taking her refusal and then throwing himself down to the ground, unconcerned with any cars that might try to pass on the back road.

"Jeff, what are you doing? Stop being an idiot. Let's go."

He crossed his arms, his legs, determined to rule over her wishes. Lily though, sprang behind him on the road, shoving on his back, pulling on his arms, begging him with laughter to move when she heard a distant car coming down the hill.

"Jeff, stop it! Move!"

The more fear that sounded in her voice, the wider he smiled. And when he saw the bumper of the black car rushing towards them, he immediately jumped up from the ground, with Lily still dangling from his back, screeching.

"Jeff!"

She hugged his neck as he trampled to the side of the road, in time to be missed by the honking Toyota. He could hear her breathing deeply at his ear, in complete horror. All he could do though, was laugh, reach behind him to wrap her legs firmly around his waist and then start walking up the hill again, as though nothing had happened.

"I can't believe you," she mumbled breathlessly on his shoulder, "Pain in the ass."

"I love you too, sugar breeches."

Lily just shook her head, rested against him, and refused let go until she saw the house at the end of the road, on the coastline, and slid from his back.

"This is it, the old Quinn house."

Jeff stood half motionless in the midst of the home's front yard alone. She hadn't lied when she said it was perfect. It looked like it was three stories, at least a hundred years old, if not more, with worn wooden trim, blue shutters, wrap around porches and a whitewash fence leading right down to the bay. It was abandoned, as it rightfully should have been in his mind. Dream houses like these should never be owned or lived in. It defeats the dream.

He looked over in a sweetened sort of daze to see her standing alone, at the edge of the property, admiring it, gawking for all it was worth, ogling over her distant fantasy.

"It's beautiful, huh?"

She never turned to look at him, just kept staring, and he just kept staring at her.

"Gorgeous," he murmured back, outlining her body in the fall breeze with eyes and a knowing imagination alone.

"I've never been inside before, but I'd bet it has five bedrooms."

Her eyes shifted back at him and caught his full attention as he walked towards her, wrapping his arms firmly about her waist and hugging her to him as he bent to her level, his head on her shoulder.

"There are only two of us, Tiger Lily. And I prefer to share a bed."

She laughed and held onto his arms at her stomach, trying to think beyond his lips on her neck.

"The other rooms would be for guests, stupid. Well that and--"

"And what?"

She twisted her head to see his eyes looking up at her shoulder then whispered, "Babies."

Jeff's brow rose, his head moved away from her shoulder and he suddenly stiffened. She knew he was afraid of that word, she knew he nearly died at the thought, but she turned in his arms anyway and pulled his face down to hers.

"Did I scare you again?"

Her smile brightened him suddenly and he threw away the nervous thoughts in his mind. Instead, he smirked tiredly and shook his head.

"No. I was just thinking--"

"Thinking what?"

"Well thinking about how we should probably get started right now. I mean, if we have four extra rooms to fill with screaming little 'things'," she laughed at the teasing clench in his jaw and the sickened mock of his eyes as he gulped, "We better hurry up and get cracking."

She could only shake her head.

"Come on," he yanked on her hand, back down the road from whence they came. "Let's go. No time to waste."

"Jeff," she begged, not sure if he was serious. She hated never being able to tell with him. "We can't have babies now. I'm not ready."

He stopped in the road once more, right in front of her and peered down with that deathly somber stare of his.

"I know that kid, but…" his tease was immediately met with the strength of his arms, lifting her clear from the ground, over his shoulder. She screamed with laughter as he concluded fiercely, making stride down the street, "…We have to practice!"

Route 60 Shell Station - Wickenburg, Arizona

9:25 AM

"Okay, okay. I got one. I spy, with my little eye…" Andy paused with a tormenting laugh that made Sands' skin crawl from the seat behind him in the truck. "…something brown."

He could hear the pre-historically rusted gears in Carter's brain crunching together as his fingers tapped on the steering wheel of the car, shuffling for an answer. Sands' wanted to kill the both of them. He had wanted to kill them since he was forced into this little road trip back in Vegas.

"Man, I don't know. Is it that old gas barrel over there?"

"No."

"Is it that woman's hair?"

"No."

He growled under his breath at their continued charade. There was little sympathy left in his world, based primarily on the fact that two agents who used to be controlled by the very jerk of his words in battle, were now playing a game in his presence that required conscious vision to play, let alone to win. Sands' drummed his cigarette on the half rolled window and listened to the rush of gasoline through the engine's guts as Shane pumped it.

He wondered what sort of a spectacle a mere slip of his finger on that smoke would do.

Beautiful, he thought chuckling, a beautiful fucking mess that would be.

Suicidal thoughts were all he had to fill the empty spaces again, the ones that Lily had occupied and tamed for him.

"How about, is it the Mexican guy on that old billboard?"

He'd had enough of the game. He wanted to win.

Sands crushed his cigarette just as Andy replied with another 'no' to Carter. Then with as swift a blind movement as ever before, he jolted towards the front seat of the truck, reaching out until he felt the neckline of Andy's t-shirt, gripped firmly and pulled him to where he could feel his choking breath on his nose.

"You little prick."

Andy gulped and Carter tried not to let his laughter come from between his tied lips.

Sands' snarled with his words, blowing excess cigarette smoke into Miles' eyes.

"I'm blind and you're playing 'I fucking SPY'."

"Christ man, I--"

He choked him harder for a mere second and then forced him away until he heard Andy's head hit the window of the truck. Carter couldn't back on roaring with laughter and Sands' was proud for it. He reached for the handle of the back door and jumped down from the truck.

"By the way, the brown you're looking for Danny Boy, is that pile of dog shit at 2'oclock."

Carter looked through the windshield at the hint and sure as day, saw the awaiting canine gift, smiling with amazement back at Sands as he mumbled, "Rookie douche," before slamming the door and feeling his way to the end of the SUV.

He could still hear Carter teasing Andy with amusement as he made it to where he could smell the gasoline mixed with Shane's perfume. Not to his surprise, she was laughing quietly too.

"You really know how to prove every sorry bastard in the world wrong, don't you?'"

He threw his head back to the car window and breathed deep.

"How much longer are you going to make me deal with this? Where the hell is Phoenix?"

"I think it's another 50 miles or so."

Shane heard the click of the nozzle and tore away the gas pump at the exact moment that she felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket. When she saw the number though, it wasn't one she recognized, although the area code was for California.

She answered it anyway.

"Hello?"

There was a pause of silence, then a static induced voice.

"Shane? Can you hear me?"

Her eyes went wide as she smacked the tank lid on the SUV and peered up at her brother.

"Lily?"

His attention was gained on impact, his boots hard on the ground and his hands fierce on the car.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Give me the phone," he demanded, reaching for it as Shane stepped away, ignoring him.

"Where are you? Did they take you to Phoenix with them?"

Sands, livid as he stumbled around blankly, followed the sound of Shane's voice and the faint one he could hear in the reception of the phone.

"I'm not with Tuzla's guys. Can I talk to Jeff?"

"Who are you wit--?"

He landed behind her and tore the phone away, somehow unexpectedly as usual, before Shane could finish the question.

"Lily? Baby…?"

"Jeff?"

"Yeah, yeah," he rubbed his forehead harshly with a smiled and walked around in circles at the sound of her shaking lip into the receiver. "Are you okay? Where are you? Who's got you?"

"I'm fine," he could hear her crying and it ripped new holes in his already bruised heart, "I'm okay. I'm just outside of San Francisco."

From inside of a dusty phone booth in the middle of a desert crossroads on the California borderline, Lily stood with trembling hands on the receiver, a quivering lip as she listened to him speaking to her on the other end, and a trained eye on a napkin that Tom used as her cue card. She wasn't allowed to mention him, for obvious reasons. And she wasn't allowed to mention that she was headed to Phoenix.

If she wanted to help the case, she was forced to promise doing it on Tom's terms.

"Lily, baby listen to me, who are you with?"

She gulped and waited for Tommy to write something for her. Then she recited.

"Jack, your boss, he sent someone in for me. Another agent--" she choked on the response and wiped away the burning tears at the corners of her eyes.

"What agent? Do you know their name?"

More writing, confused patience and a reply came.

"Smith, Agent Smith. He's okay, I'm alright with him."

"And he's taking to San Fran? Why?"

"Protection. I'm not allowed near the case again."

She heard him sigh, almost as if in relief, for her safety more or less.

"Where are you guys?"

"Some dead end town outside of Phoenix. We're chasing Tuzla. We thought you were with them, I'm glad you're not though." Lily wiped her nose and eyes with a clean napkin from Tom, trying to get control of her emotions and trying not to let Jeff's voice alone break her down so easily. "You swear you're alright? You were bleeding, they hit you. Did this guy help you at all?"

"I swear. I'm fine, Jeff. Bandaged and walking around. Are you okay? Did they hit you?"

She heard him choke on air, as if he were in desperate need of tears that couldn't ever come.

"I'm fine, now that I can hear your voice."

Lily smiled with brighter, drier eyes as she looked to Tom and his new note on the napkin.

"What's your plan when you get to Phoenix? What's Tuzla doing there?"

Her brother nodded and rubbed her back with assurance.

"I don't know. We'll find the bastard's little gathering and go in undercover, most likely. It doesn't matter. I just want to get to you. Tell that babysitter agent of yours to bring you back this way, to meet somewhere. I want you."

With that, she was crushed all over again. Lily fell to the dusty glass of the booth, her forehead pressed against the heat of it, eyes focused on a distant mountain range. She could feel Tom's hand on her back, still caressing for comfort, but it did very little.

"I want to touch you so bad, Lily. I'm a miserable bastard without you here to keep me in line. Don't let him take you all the way out to the Pacific, come back this way. I'll come and get you. We'll leave and let Shane do this. We'll go wherever you want, I swear."

She bit down on her lip to keep from sobbing uncontrollably, until she tasted the coppery sickness of her own blood. And still, all she could hear in the whole world, above the sound of circling hawks and randomly passing cars, was him.

"Talk to me, baby. Say something."

"I--" she was strangled with a wave of tears before she found the handle to speak, "I can't, Jeff. You need to stay where you are, with Shane. She needs you."

"I don't give a fuck," she heard his body slam against something, his fist the same. "I need you."

She couldn't deny him her agreement.

"I know. But you have to stay. You have to get Tuzla, like you promised, for Tommy."

There was a sigh, a silent understanding between her crying and his breathing. And then there was his voice, the one that haunted her thoughts every second he was gone, just like all those years ago.

"Do you know how much I love you, Lily?"

She leaned harsher against the glass pane of the booth, noticing with the silence, how Tom had moved out and started back for the car.

"I know," she finally replied. "You love me same as I love you. Like a damn fool."

She heard him laugh softly and it warmed her even more than the California sun could.

"That's right. And don't you forget it." There was solid contentment in his tone, as he spun the sweetest words, from far too close to be so far away. "When this fucker is dead, I'm coming to get you. I'm coming for you, and we're getting on the next plane headed for Boston. You hear me?"

She nodded with a shaky, 'yeah.'

"We're driving down to the Cape, and I'm going to buy you a house with blue shutters and a white picket fence and one of those widow walks, right there on the shore. I remember everything. I know what you want, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life giving it to you. You believe me, don't you?"

Lily was far from speechless. She was near to mute just from the impact of choking tears lodged in her throat. All she could do was nod, cry, and let out a short, whimpering, 'yes.'

"This is it. I'm done after this, just like I said. Tuzla's the line. I'm all yours after him."

She hoped and prayed from then, until she hung up with him and walked back to the Mustang in a million broken pieces, and then until they drove through the Phoenix city limits, that he was right this time.

Lily wasn't ready to be disappointed by his job again.