Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005
Banner by AnaFluttersby
You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.
Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward
Chapter 36
EPOV
When I wake up, I'm sore, and hot but glad to be in my own bed. I smile when my eyes focus on Bella curled up against my side, my hand resting on her hip. It feels so natural.
Anxiety starts creeping into my pores. How will Bella react to what I told her last night? I'm damaged both physically and mentally and now she knows. She knows me, the real me. She knows more about me than anyone besides my parents and the doctors. How will this change how she feels about me?
Bella stirs. Her eyes flutter open. A lazy smile graces her sleep wrinkled face. No look of pity, only a smile and an honest sincerity in her eyes. I can't help but smile back at her. I'm sure there is a look of awe in my eyes. She still cares, but doesn't pity me. How can that be?
"How are you feeling this morning?" Bella asks moving away from me and lazily stretching.
I gently stretch to test my body. "Better, I think."
"What's the plan today? Anyone visiting?" Bella asks.
"I think my parents are coming for dinner, and I've asked Emmett and Jasper to come over this afternoon. You can have the afternoon free to do whatever you want."
"Oh, okay. If you're sure," Bella says quietly.
"Really. Go out, get some fresh air, shop, whatever," I say as I amble to the bathroom.
~MMB~
"Thanks for bringing the girls to entertain Bella. She needs to get out of this apartment."
"You know Alice doesn't need to be asked to shop," Jasper offers.
"True."
"What do you want to talk to us about?" Questions Emmett.
"First and foremost, I want the lawsuit gone."
"Okay, do you want to pay Victoria off?" Jasper suggests.
"Not exactly. Why don't I make an offer she can't refuse?" Edward pauses. "Let's create a corporation and offer to buy her property, an offer too good for her to refuse."
"What are you going to do with the land and the building? You don't need an office building."
"Nope, that is where you come in Emmett. I want to build a house, a big house. Can you check and see if the land is zoned for residential use. If so, I want plans drawn up for a huge house. I don't want to have to worry about the shelter being a noise disturbance for anyone again." Edward says turning to Jasper. "In fact, look into buying up all of the land in barking distance."
Jasper shakes his head, "Edward, you are talking about millions of dollars."
"I know. This is important to me. I want to live here. I want to expand the shelter. Just look into it okay? And don't tell Rose or Alice until we have more information."
Emmett and Jasper both nod with concern. We hang out for a couple of hours watching sports on tv, until Bella returns from her outing with Rose and Alice.
~MMB~
"Are you tired," Bella asks when she sees me dozing on the couch.
"Ya, we had a lot of visitors today."
"Let's go to bed when I'm done cleaning up from dinner."
We settle in for the night. I like having her in my bed, I sleep better. We can't really snuggle because I still only have one useable arm, but somehow by morning we are as close as we can be without having our arms around each other.
A few minutes after the lights go off Bella speaks. "Can I ask you some questions, about... stuff? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."
"Ya, that's fine," I try to sound unfazed. "Ask away." I say while I'm actually freaking out inside.
"When you have nightmares, are they about the accident?" She asks hesitantly.
"Yes, mostly. Sometimes they are about the recovery, or my biological family abandoning me, but most of the time it's the accident."
"Is that why you talk with Maggie?"
"I've been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Survivors Guilt. I'm trying to work through it. It's controlled my life up until now. I'm more motivated now than ever to get past it. I know it will always be there. I can't unfeel it, unlive it. But hopefully, I can prevent it from having so much control over me."
"How do you think it controls you?"
"Um, my choices." How do I explain this to her and not sound completely pathetic?
"What do you mean?"
"I guess, it would mostly be my decision to not have a relationship. I think I'm not as trusting of people as I could be."
"Have you always pictured yourself single?"
"Until recently, I never thought I would consider a relationship with anyone, but now I'm not so sure."
"What has changed?"
"I guess my...re... friendship with you, having you here with me, feeling so protective of you, has shaken my former beliefs a little bit."
"You've done that for me, too," she says barely above a whisper.
"How so?" I ask, very interested in what she has to say.
"Um, I kind of thought all guys were dogs. You know, selfish, uncaring. But then I met you and your family. There is so much love here. Your parents love and support each other. And you, you have busted all my conceptions about men. You are the most caring, selfless person I've ever met. When I'm with you I almost believe in love, true love."
"Almost?"
"Yeah, well. You're not perfect," she says, I can hear the smile in her voice.
"Truer words have never been spoken," I respond. I think carefully before I speak again. "You make me want to be better. Want to be whole, unbroken. You are the first person I've opened up to about this since I first started seeing Maggie. Alice doesn't even know half of what I've told you. You've become a very important part of my life."
"I feel the same way. I'm happy I'm that person for you. The person you feel you can trust. Your trust in me breaks down my cynical walls brick by brick." She says rising up onto her elbow. She leans in to kiss me on the cheek, "Thank you, Edward, for letting me in."
My good arm reaches out and my fingers brush her cheek and weave into her hair, pulling her closer. A kiss on the cheek is not enough.
A/N
So, who do you think is going to tell the other person how they feel first?
To answer a few questions:
Bella's job as a travel writer is flexible. She recently came back from a work trip and now her work can be done by computer, in her own time. Being displaced from her house has interrupted her normal routine.
Next update on Saturday. I wrote three more chapters over the weekend! If I don't respond to reviews, it's because I'm writing :)
Thanks so much for your on-going support!