I apologize for the abominable translation...

Breaking Dawn (Chapter 18)

Christmas' Eve

Mom is setting up a real feast for tomorrow. She seems cheerful. I have to force myself not to ruin even this Christmas. I hope to endure the vision of Emily and Sam as they exchange tenderness. But above all I hope that Jacob and Edward do their own affairs and are too busy with their companions for read about in my mind. Jake is not a problem. Imprinting inhibits the senses and makes you see she only. I do still fatigue to digest that his soul mate is a half-vampire, an enemy of our race. At this point I think that Billy Black is right about me. There's something wrong with me.

I sigh plan for not do me feel from my mother thinking back to the words twin soul. I thought Sam and I were. Every time I think of this I cling to the idea that if you do not trasformavo I could be me the choice of Sam. Jacob scolds me when he hears that I think about it yet. It changed again after imprinting. Before of she, he did not want the imprinting that him considering a fictitious feeling. Now you do not think anymore so. I see it in his mind, in his way of thinking. And I also know from how he look me. With compassion, because I can not accept that my cousin and my ex were meant to be together from birth.

I sigh louder and this time she feels me.

"Honey are you okay?"

"Yes sure".

She observed with the usual expression, a mixture of pity and sadness. Perfect I have already ruined the Christmas Eve at my mother. I try to change the subject but it is she who spoke.

"The day before yesterday I went to the cemetery to find thy father. It was a bit 'that I did not go. I thought I would find the dirty grave, the weed that served as mistress and the dried flowers. But to my surprise it was not so. Someone has held the tomb cleaned, and also I think I know who did it".

She caresses me the my hand just floured.

"Thank honey for be cared him."

"Wrong mom, I not..."

"Leah does not feign with me. I know it was you. Seth although it has a big heart like you is not one to think about these things and I do not think it other people are occupied".

"You forget Emily".

My mother sighs plan.

"It was not her. In all honesty I asked now to your cousin, but she said no. I was a fool not to think right away to you. You had a really wonderful relationship with your father".

So nice that I at the finally killed he. I hold back her tears and changed the subject.

"Why did not you ask Emily to help you? She is an excellent cook".

"Because I wanted to spend some' of time alone with you, just like I did with your father. And it's not true that you, are less capable with of she, treasure".

I turn my back to my mother with the excuse to bake buns and hide my distrust. I can not figure out where he wants to end. For some years our relationship has cracked. I knew that Emily's mother had come to visit his daughter and he must have repeated for the umpteenth time at my mother, that my presence hurt his daughter, it was better if I walked away from La Push. Perhaps he is simply trying to tell me that I can no longer remain in the reserve. It's something that I had already planned to do after graduation, but maybe I'll go first when the issue of Italian bloodsuckers will be resolved. It will not be easy. We shapeshifter we are tied by an invisible thread to the territory. Perhaps only the imprinting it can break this bond, and then I promised my cousin that I would be one of the bridesmaids.

"I had a long conversation with thy father, my honey, and I have reflected on many things".

"Do not worry Mom, I already decided to..."

"Please let me finish".

Mom why do not you say bluntly: 'Leah can no longer stay here'. Without beating about the bush.

"I owe you an apology my little girl".

I look at her in amazement and she just smiles. That was not what I expected.

"You owe me nothing mom. It is I who have been hateful ruining my life at all".

"You not have ruined the lives of nobody, treasure. Rather we were we us make the life your difficult. I for example even though you are my daughter have always given my unconditional support before Emily and then the elderly..."

"It was inevitable mom. After Dad's death did you become one of them ... and Emily, you knew the secret".

"This does not justify me. You were you to have more need of me. Emily had Sam, the elderly ... Even if I had been the only woman in the reserve in on the secret I should not trascurarti. I was wrong".

"I have my guilts, mom".

"No, darling. Your anger was more than justified. And it still is. I considered you just a kid. I repeated all the time you'd have more stories after the break with Sam just to justify my decision to support him and Emily and defend them".

"Defend them?"

"Yes. From you and from the gossips. To think that you could speak ill of her, especially after her accident was my biggest mistake. At the end you are the one who has suffered humiliation after another. I was really stupid. I acted as if they really I not knew you. Forgive me if you can."

Again around the shoulders of my mother. She you should not see me cry.

"Your father was mad at me. He often me scolded, because I could not be near you as you deserved. You've always been an open book to him. He said it was not right to hide everything at you, but I did not but repeat that the law on confidentiality should not be broken. I said this, but even I had not to be aware, how Sarah Black and Bella..."

Isabella Swan. I knew that Jacob's father has justified his behavior by telling the council of elders that this girl has knew how entirely by chance. That her son had told he of things even before its transformation into a wolf, which was a simple mistake ... By reading in the minds of Jake, however, I realized that even if not explicitly after joining Sam's pack, he made understand what had become at that girl. I detested he. He and the others, because I knew that if I not transform, I would not say anything to me, continuing to tease me, respecting the law only when they wanted them.

"Your father was right about everything. This also applied to his anger at the imprinting of Sam. He said it was not fair that he had had with Emily and not with you. And here to justify all with the fate he had chosen your cousin because she was his soul mate. But as I always said your father if you not turned he would marry you and you would be happy. He said that you also were soul mates".

Now she is crying.

"I had not realized my baby, even after your outburst on the day of your first transformation. The truth is that for me it was easier to stay close to Emily, give her my support... justifying everything. But in doing so I humiliated you, too I, preferring she to at you. I'm so sorry I left you alone, that I have not done anything to help you overcome the burden and others. I could not see even all the efforts that actually you did and continues to do, judging only a capricious girl. I got it all wrong my honey".

He stops to take a breath. He has red eyes and tear-streaked face.

"I may not be able to mend the relationship, but I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. This is why I ask you not to stray too far from the reserve. I know you do not feel more than staying here, but I could not bear to be separated from you and from km km away. I realize I'm asking a lot, but please do not be far from your family".

I look at it now even though I is shedding tears over it just like her. She hugs me strong and I reciprocate. How much time has passed since the last hug? Too since I do not remember.

At the end we return to think about the banquet tomorrow. My mother has a smile sweet and sad at the same time and will not stop crying silently just like me.

"Honey, if you do not feel tomorrow will invent an excuse to not celebrate. I imagine it will be very hard for you to see them together. This is also true for your cousin's wedding. I'll talk to she, I'm sure he understands".

"I think I can endure with their vision tomorrow and then I have to hold off the pack Jake. And to the question of marriage, I promised Emily. I can not draw back. I can not do that to her".

"You have a big heart my little girl, just like your father. He often repeated since the day you were born you were bright. Emanavi light".

I hope that the chapter you like it and of I to have not done a portrait of Sue too melodramatic. As usual I always put my point of view on love for LEAH Sam and Emily.