KILLIAN
He loved the bloody woman to pieces, but she could be shockingly naive at times.
He knew his Swan, better than she knew herself and was fully aware that it was a delicate balance when trying to be romantic, from her eyes glazing over with happiness and her wanting to openly mock him/ punch him in the face.
He knew she would be a little resistant, uncomfortable, so he plotted that if he got her expecting this over the top proposal that would terrify her (his most recent plans included a pretend flash dance mob and a New York City jumbo tron) she would be so relieved to realize the far more Emma-friendly proposal he really had planned, and would be able to relax into it and genuinely enjoy it.
He had to leave his computer open three times until she finally noticed the Emma folder enough to snoop, and literally he moved his mothers engagement ring to eight different locations until she finally "found" the bloody thing. He was going to give her that as well, but the real ring, with light green gemstone that reminded him of her eyes was firmly hidden in a place Emma would never look, the bottom of their dirty laundry basket she like to believe clothes "magically" became clean.
Mary Margaret was in on it all, of course. While Emma and David trained, in between studying navigation, star charts and maps, to learn tracking skills for the group, they baked a meat loaf into a heart shape and managed to close down their online FBI course of how to interrogate a suspect just in time to get HGTV on the telly before Emma walked in.
The look on her face as she tried to manage her horror as she choked down the meat loaf was priceless. Did she really think they spent their time baking?
He and Mary Margaret started wearing matching aprons with a frilly pink edge anyways in jest, a fact that Emma seemed determined not even to register.
All of which is how he ended up in a ridiculously over priced New York restaurant watching Emma's growing terror compete with her increasing disgust at what really was shockingly small portion sizes. Thanks to finding him on the Internet, the man at the table beside them, Eric was about to do the public proposing to his red haired lass. He settled the bill so they could leave to the real evening, grinning stupidly as the five piece band seemed to be marching a love ballad right to poor Emma, shifting uncomfortably on her chair, trying to bear it all for him. He was gleefully waiting for her look of surprise when the band continued past her to the couple on her right when she suddenly appeared transfixed by something outside of the window.
Even from the other side of the restaurant, he could see her squirm.
It was time to move on to the real plan. He was going to quietly whisk her away to a small boat he rented, covered in soft lights on the New York harbour. On the bow of the boat was her real dinner, full of tasty trans fats and champagne, far more satisfying and what seemed like, a thousand pillows, to sink into, and he was going to ask her there, on the open seas, on the bow of the ship and teach her how to navigate the stars. A quiet, special moment in all of the chaos that had become their lives.
No crowds or big scene after all...
No one watching but the twinkling of the stars, as he opened his heart to her, and to ask them to commit, forever, to the other. For him to be hers, and her to be his.
Bloody hell, he loved her.
He just couldn't help himself from messing with her a little first...
He was excited about how this was all going to play out, when suddenly Emma bolted up, causing a commotion as she literally got up and ran for it, at a speed those high heels really should not be able to tolerate.
Oops.
Hmm, maybe he overplayed this too much and accidently hit her panic button.
Where the hell did she go?
He was not upset, but felt slightly guilt, knowing it was not them she was fleeing but the moment in which she believed that the entire wait staff of the restaurant was scheduled to break into song. According to his computer "notes" he picked "Everything I do, I do it for you", which although this felt shockingly accurate to him, was far too sappy even for the tolerance level of his own stomach.
He could not believe she didn't know that he knew, she knew... (yes, they were really back to this again)
He tried to follow her out, the best he could, but by the time he made it outside she had disappeared. It occurred to him to simply call her and confess to get her to come back, when he was distracted by the pawn shop across the street, whose door was open and flopping in the wind.
Something was definitely not right about that. He raced over to investigate it, calling out unsuccessfully and entering. A burglary or robbery of some type had clearly just occurred, two display cases hit primarily, the one that would have contained jewelry, and the one that would have contained knives and weapons. A man lay slumped on the floor, and Killian quickly searched him for any obvious signs of bullet wounds, finding instead some type of tranquiller dart in his arm. Further inspection found another man, this one having been shot, and then dragged by the culprit behind a counter. He was breathing, barely, and Killian did his best to patch up the wound and stop the flow of blood as he quickly called 911.
While he waited for the soft sounds of sirens to emerge in the background, and he grabbed some cold water and did his best to try to revive the second man. He came to quickly, not much worse for the wear and Killian immediately began questioning him.
"What happened?"
"I was in the back when I heard the shot" he explained, clearly shaken. Killian patted at him in comfort as he continued "The robber was dressed as a clown, as a disguise, I think because of the security cameras, but I knew the kid, and he recognized me. He had his hands in the weapon case and grabbed a tranquiller gun that was for sale from it and shot me. I suppose I am lucky he had set his own gun down as he was emptying the place..."
Killian helped him to his feet while asking "You know the culprit? What do you know about him?
The man took a frightened breath and continued "The boy is named Felix, about 17 or so I think. I knew his father, until he drank himself to death. Kid had a tough life, but is trouble. Runs some type of gang with other street boys, have been breaking into other places in the area, stealing weapons, food, money. Mostly petty theft, but escalating. The police have searched the local abandoned buildings but no one can figure out where there hideout is to get them."
Killian hear the faint sounds of the police cars and ambulance in the distance, responding to his call, looking around and thinking fast.
Emma had been looking out of the window before she bolted.
He stepped outside confirming that if Emma had been looking at the right moment, she would of seen this Felix exit...Hmm, a blood soaked, gun toting, clown clearly up to serious shenanigans.
You could have starved Emma for three days surrounded her with cheezies she wasn't allowed to eat and it would be less of a temptation. Fleeing from the anticipated off key Brian Adams song was likely just an added bonus.
He started to laugh softly, confident she could handle herself against a gang of teens of all things, speculating where she went. Likely the most ridiculous place possible. He started there looking around for grave yards, a strip club, the Church of Scientology, or any other strange or unlikely place she could have chased this clown.
There was an FAO Swartz children's toy store a few blocks away, and Killian could not stop himself from squeezing his eyes shut to try to stop an image, suddenly, of his wonder woman forcibly taking down a clown in a crowd of crying children, teddy bears scattering as little junior tries valiantly to rescue bubbles the clown from the crazed woman.
No, Emma would be careful in front of children...
He whipped out his cell phone to call her, frustrated as it rang repeatedly until it just went to voicemail. What was the point of her having the bloody thing if she wasn't going to answer!
David, as a precaution had software in their phones, like a locater chip in case of emergency on a mission (although Killian was doubtful teenage boys were their most challenging foe...)
Seeing the police arrive to take over, Killian slipped out quietly first to track to "Emma's" location, which once standing on the spot her phone claimed she was located turned out to be the centre of a knitting and scrapbook store. Emma could be scrappy in a fight, but she certainly was not the type to scrapbook, nor would a gang of teenage boys be. (He was onslaught with an exaggerated image of a 90 year old scrapbooking Emma, showing it to their grandkids, complete with smiley -face borders, "Now here is the collage of where that bad man tried to be-head me but Mulan shot him in the eye first instead...")
He shook the phone in frustration, confused when it rang suddenly, Emma's picture appearing on screen
"Bloody hell, where are you love?" he answered into the phone, surprised when the a young male voice, with a strange pitch to it replied
"The woman is unconscious. Someone will come to you by the zoo entrance at Central Park tomorrow... Provide them $10,000.00 and we will let her live. If you are followed, she dies"
This kid clearly had watched a ransom movie or two. His ADHD must have kicked in before he realized this never ends well for the bad guys.
How the hell had they managed to knock Emma out? The woman head was thicker than his, and he personally seen the woman drink a bottle of NyQuil with a large glass of rum and still stubbornly flop around in the bed. And he had tired her out first then (wink wink).
She was going to be pissed.
This was going to end with her new throat punch move, for sure. He almost felt sorry for this kid when she woke up and kicked his ass.
He would try mount a dashing rescue of course, but knowing Emma she would spoil his attempts at gallantry and save herself, as per usual. Might as well give her the added advantage of being underestimated
"Please, don't hurt her, she is a defenceless woman, helpless" Killian lied, thinking how she could almost take David down now with their hand combat training. David. According to David she was "magic", the quickest learner that he had ever seen, with this... power inside of her. Determination and often, raw luck.
"When she wakes, she will be tortured... an example needs to be set" the voice almost cackled a little at this, making Killian question this youths sanity.
"What are you going to do to her?" Killian demanded, worried suddenly, remembering her still unconscious state. As if responding to his concerns, another voice in the background stated "She's waking up"
It reminded Killian to listen for other background noise, to help identify their whereabouts. A strange echo of their voices, as if in an enclosed space. Poor cell reception, with white noise. The splash of some water at their feet when it was dry outside.
If she was not in the shop...but at this spot? Hmm...Perhaps she was beneath it?
Bloody hell. He promised himself after that incident in Budapest (he remembered vaguely melted chocolate and Will and Robins silly victory dance) no more sewers.
He had almost forgot his question, preoccupied by figuring how long it would take David to get here to go sewer diving with him when the voice finally answered him.
It was high pitched and creepy, yet still child like. When they attacked they would have to remember these were youths, still children. "Peanut butter... We are going to torture her with it" "10,000 tomorrow or she dies..."
With that he laughed crazed, sounding a bit mentally deranged and hung up the phone.
Peanut butter?
What?
I mean if water was an effective torture, he supposed anything could be... But what were they going to do exactly? Tie her up and spread it on a chocolate bar and put it just out of her reach were she could see but not eat it? (Come to think of it that would drive Emma crazy, she always got hungry when adventuring)
He quickly googled "torture" and peanut butter" with nothing but a youtube video of a puppy licking peanut butter off some woman's face. Man, people had too much time on their hands...(that puppy was super cute though)... wait...focus.
He sighed, calling David quickly, who replied
"I am outside of the restaurant to take you to the boat"
"No David, grab anything from the car that could double as a weapon, and those flats I snuck for Emma, (because those shoes were just stupid) because we need to go save her"
"Save her? What the hell happened?" David exclaimed, and Killian could hear him moving around in preparation while they talked, both racing over and meeting in the middle of the street, David's hands full.
When he got there, he gestured to the ambulance and the police setting up across the street.
"Well I left her for a moment and apparently she decided to go chase down a teenage, bloodied, gun toting clown, rather than be proposed to"
David laughed softly, shaking his head, but smiling.
"Why do I feel like we are about to chase her into an abandoned amusement park or a swingers disco club or something equally absurd?"
"Worse mate, think Budapest" Killian gesturing to the sewer grate in which he planned for them to make their grand entrance.
David closed his eyes, as if in pain groaning saying simply "the things I do for Emma".
The men approached the opening, preparing to descend. David had pillaged a flash light, a emergency car kit, the shoes and some jumper cables from the car. Combined with Killians wits and David's fists, they were in pretty good shape.
"You are never going to guess what they are going to torture her with David" Killian advised, challenging him, laughing despite himself when David blurted out in horror
"Please don't say Victor"
Victor was luckily back in England somewhere, but not forgotten. Just last month. a Mexican drug lord they captured, who they nicked named "Grumpy" turned out to have a thing for wearing woman's underwear, and was sporting a neon pink thong. Emma graciously took it from him before they turned him over to the Mexican authorities (and likely the beating of his life for it) but mailed it to Victor from a secret admirer...without washing it. Killian shuddered thinking what the hell Victor was up to with that...
He looked at David, saying "peanut butter"
To which David replied
"What? She doesn't have a nut allergy"
And with that the men descended into the hole and after her.
Okay- I know this is a silly, OOC story... but that is the point. I am going for original, since there are so many beautiful writers out there that I cant compete with on a skill level so my tactic is just throwing all sanity to the wind... Please let me know if you like it and if you have any guesses what happens next...