"Ava sit still." Meredith laughed as they drove Ava to her check up. It had been a week since they had made a visit to the hospital and they hadn't missed it at all. Ava was going to get her blood taken but they had come early so that Ava could see Sammy. Right now, Meredith would do anything to make her five year old happy so going early to see her only friend here would do. She loved whenever
Ava was excited, because she knew then that cancer hadn't ruined her child yet. It hadn't destroyed the happy little girl and Meredith was thankful for that. "We'll be there soon."
"I'm excited!" Ava bounced in her car seat.
"Alex is going to be so proud of you for eating all of your breakfast." Meredith giggled, squeezing Derek's hand.
"Cause Daddy woulda eaten the rest." Ava giggled.
"They were good pancakes." Derek laughed
"Because they were shaped like snowmen!" Ava shouted.
"Inside voice." Derek reminded her.
"Cause we're gonna be in the hospital?"
"Right."
"And wait for me to get you out of your car seat." Meredith instructed as Derek pulled into the parking lot. "I don't want you running into the road and it's really cold so one of us is going to carry you in once we make sure you're bundled up."
"Okay Mommy." Ava smiled, still squirming in her seat.
"I think we're going to get good news today." Derek smiled at Meredith before getting out of the car.
"Maybe I'll have no more yucky cancer." Ava replied.
"Well we won't find that out today...but we'll hope that everything is going very well." Meredith smiled weakly.
"My coat." Ava held her hands out so Meredith could help her out and put on her jacket.
"Alright." Meredith opened the back car door, sliding the jacket onto her daughter "Cheetah hat with the feathers?"
"Yeah." Ava grinned.
"Okay...now gloves."
"Pink ones."
"You are very mismatched today." Meredith giggled, lifting Ava before turning to face Derek. "Do you want this girl or do you want me to take her?"
"I would love to take her." Derek laughed, taking Ava into his arms and kissing her cheek.
"I have your bag...and here is your baby." Meredith handed Ava the doll she always carried. "This is where Daddy is going to work."
"Fixing people's brains?"
"Yup." Derek nodded.
"She's not going to know what to do without you being home all the time." Meredith laughed.
"Where is Sammy?" Ava asked immediately as they walked through the hospital doors.
"I imagine upstairs." Meredith explained, walking towards the elevators.
"Let's go!" Ava reached out of Derek's arms to push the up button for the elevator.
"We're going...we're going." Meredith laughed, kissing Derek quickly.
"Upstairs...upstairs..." Ava giggled.
"I can't make it move faster."
"I wonder what she asked Santa for."
"I bet not as much pink stuff as you." Derek laughed, stepping off of the elevator.
"Okay...come on little lady." Meredith rolled her eyes, walking down the hall and waving as she saw Alex.
"I thought you're appointment wasn't until two." Alex walked up to them.
"We gotta go see Sammy." Ava giggled.
"Oh." Alex frowned.
"Did you need to see Ava early or something?" Meredith asked as Derek put Ava down.
"No..." Alex looked around, stopping when he saw a nurse. "Ava, why don't you go with Nurse Shannon? I bet she can get you some juice and take you to your room."
"Okay." Ava hugged her doll close, before walking away with the nurse.
"What's going on?" Derek asked.
"Is Ava okay?" Meredith asked, her heart sinking.
"She's fine." Alex sighed. "It's Sammy."
"Oh...is she okay?" Meredith asked, although knowing that look as a doctor all too well.
"She was having a procedure last night to change her line and she went into cardiac arrest."
"Oh my god..." Meredith covered her mouth, leaning into her husband.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this."
"I...so she..." Derek breathed.
"We have to tell Ava..." Meredith said quickly.
"If you want, we can Ava's appointment for tomorrow. Her blood work can wait a day." Alex offered.
"I...yeah lets do that." Meredith looked up at Derek. "Do you think we should wait for the appointment?"
"We can bring her back tomorrow." Derek nodded.
"I'll let you guys talk to her...and I'll let you know when her parents send in the arrangements." Alex sighed.
"Thanks Alex." Derek held tightly onto Meredith.
"I...how do we tell..."
"I don't know."
"Damn it."
"I just..."
"She was Ava's age."
"That could have been us." Derek breathed, shaking his head.
"Derek if anything...if something happens to Ava I don't know what I will do."
"I know." He breathed, hugging Meredith and trying to hold back tears.
"She...we need to go see Ava."
"Okay...come on."
"Yeah..." Meredith breathed, taking his hand. She was about to tell her child something a child should never hear and Meredith was sure this was going to be one of the biggest challenges she had faced.
"Five years old." Derek whispered.
"Hi Shannon." Meredith breathed, walking into the hospital room as Ava played with her baby on the scale. "We'll take over from here."
"No problem." Shannon stood. "Bye Ava."
"Bye!" Ava waved at the nurse. "Can we go see Sammy now?"
"Um...actually we want to talk to you." Meredith sat, pulling Ava onto her lap.
"Why?"
"Um..."
"Ava...we can't go see Sammy." Derek told his daughter.
"Why?" Ava asked innocently.
"She got really sick last night."
"Like a cold?" Ava asked.
"No sweetie." Derek breathed.
"Is she n'tagious?" Ava responded.
"Ava..." Derek reached for his daughter's little hand. "Sammy...she's not...she got so sick that she had to leave."
"Where did she go?" Ava asked.
"She had to go to heaven Ava."
"Will she come back when she's better?"
"She's not going to get better sweetie."
"I'm sorry Aves." Meredith pressed a kiss to Ava's head, holding her close.
"Then can we go visit?" Ava asked, her voice getting latter. "We could take a plane!"
"No." Derek shook his head.
"Why?" Ava groaned.
"Because...we can't."
"Why?" Ava shouted.
"Ava, she's...she had to go to heaven."
"What's that?" Ava groaned.
"Ava...we've talked about it before." Meredith breathed,
"But I wanna see her."
"I know Aves." Meredith was used to delivering bad news, but that was before she had given it to her own child. Now she was struggling to keep herself composed. "I'm sorry."
"I wanna see her!" Ava screamed.
"Ava." Derek picked her up into his lap
"Ava..." Meredith stood.
"I wanna go now!"
"Ava sweetie you can't...Sammy she was sick but her body was tired and her heart...sometimes people can't get better." Meredith tried to explain. "And her body wasn't able to get better so she passed away."
"I'm sorry Aves." Derek whispered, rubbing her back.
"I wanna go see Sammy!" Ava jumped off his lap then took off for the door.
"Ava." Derek ran after her and picked her up.
"Where is Sammy?" Ava cried, hitting his shoulders.
"She's in heaven pumpkin." Derek held her against him. "I'm sure she misses you."
"I want her to come back."
"I know. I do too."
"We can go home." Meredith offered.
"No..." Ava cried.
"We're going to take you home, Aves." Derek whispered.
"No." Ava cried, hiding her face in his shoulder.
"Yeah we're gonna go home." He carried her out of the room.
"I wanna play with Sammy." Ava whimpered.
"I know."
"Ava we're going to go home and we'll lay down together." Meredith said, rubbing her back before stepping onto the elevator. She was thankful that the doors opened right away which never happened in a hospital but today that needed to happen. "We'll make you feel better."
"I can't believe this." Derek sighed.
"Shh..." Meredith whispered to him as Derek tried to comfort their child. "She can't get worked up."
"We're gonna go home. No doctor's today." Derek whispered.
"Daddy..." Ava whimpered.
"I know sweetie. I'm sorry."
"Derek let's just get her home." Meredith sighed.
"We are...we're going home." Derek breathed, holding Ava tightly against him as if he was trying to protect her. He felt horrible for his daughter and while he knew she didn't completely understand what was going on, his daughter shouldn't have to deal with losing a friend at such a young age. But in the back of Derek's mind, all he kept thinking was how this could have been him and Meredith
losing their child to cancer.