"So that's Edwin Tuttle?" Tony asked as he and Fitz drug more parts into the kitchen, to try to get it operational again. If they couldn't get that up, Tony didn't want to think of what he was going to be eating tonight. Probably a bowl of oatmeal. It seemed like that was the primary thing getting fixed around here.
"That's him." Fitz said with a glare in the direction of the ill maintenance man.
"Breaking an entire building. You know, I've done a few things before, but I don't think I've managed to break an entire building before. Well, I've crashed through a few buildings and they might have fallen down afterwards, but that isn't the kind of breaking I was talking about." Tony said. He probably shouldn't let Pepper know about how bad the damage was. She would likely try to say he was bound to get bad ideas. And thinking about Pepper… "So any idea where this idiot went to school? I want to make sure we don't hire anyone from there. It sounds like they must have got the definitions of fixing and breaking confused."
"He definitely didn't learn that at any Shield academy." Fitz glared at the man again. "And what he did down in the lab in the basement, wait until you see that. It's a wonder that Agent Hand didn't die." And remembering the sight of Jemma crying, thinking there was nothing she could do to save her, it was all that Fitz could do to control his anger. "When Agent Hand gets her hands on him…." What was the penalty for nearly killing a superior officer with poor work ethics? "He'll be heading off on a suicide mission for sure."
From what I've heard about Agent Hand, I wouldn't doubt it." Tony said as the two went into the kitchen. "You're probably going to have to find a new director if she ever finds out about that coffin he bought for her."
"Director Fury bought Agent Hand a coffin? Why would he do that?" Fitz asked in puzzlement.
"Who knows. I'm still trying to figure out why he told us all Coulson was dead. Okay, alien invasion, needing us to work together to save the world, I can kind of get that, but after? I sent two hundred dollars in flowers to that funeral, and Pepper cried for months!" That was one thing that was really ticking him off. Fury lied, it was what he did, but when one of those lies hurt Pepper, and made her sob for months on end at the slightest reminder of Coulson, that was where Tony drew the line. Lie to him, hurting him and yes he could admit to himself that Coulsn't supposed death had hurt, well, that was one thing, but hurting Pepper, Fury had gone too far with that.
"A coffin, though? At least Agent Coulson was almost fatally injured. Agent Hand's been sick with the flu." True, she had came close to dying from the fever and probable heatstroke thanks to that idiot Tuttle, but how would the director know anything about that?
"It was a nice coffin. I have contacts at the mortuary Shield uses. That's how I heard about it. I think they're afraid of me for some reason." He studied the dark kitchen, only lit by an electric work light they had brought with him. "You know, this has possibilities. I think I could make a few modifications here, and automate some stuff. It would really improve things."
"No improvements." Coulson said as he came in. He knew this was going to happen. Stark was going to get some sort of grand plan in his head that could only lead to disaster. "Fix what Tuttle broke so we can get the power back on. We're having to feed 300 people out of the kitchen on the BUS. We don't need improvements. We need the power on again."
"But it wouldn't take long at all." Stark said as if he hadn't heard Coulson. "I'm thinking a robot. That would really streamline things, and make feeding everyone go so much faster." Not that he had a clue about anything related to the preparation of food, but he was sure he could make a food preparing robot work anyway. How had could it be?
"Or a monkey. But I suppose some people might have issues with a monkey around their food." Fitz said. "A robot would probably be better. And if we automated the stoves…."
"No! No, you are not building robots. You're not automating anything! Just fix things and et the power back on!" Coulson ordered. But Stark had that maniacal look in his eyes, and he was suddenly very, very afraid. How was he going to explain to Victoria if she woke up and her building had been invaded by a host of Stark constructed robots? "Fitz?" Maybe if he appealed to the engineer. "Remember that monkey? We need Victoria to convince Accounting to sign off on it. If her building is damaged, or taken over by robots…"
"We're not damaging anything. We're improving things!" Stark declared just as his phone beeped. He pulled it out, and saw a text from Pepper.
I don't know what Phil's number is. Will you show this to him please? And whatever you are thinking of doing to poor Agent Hand's building, stop thinking about it at once. That poor woman has enough problems without you adding to them.
"Oh, boy. Agent, you might want to take a look at this." Stark said after he clicked on the link.
"Congress?" Coulson took the phone and watched the streaming feed in horror. Congress had taken time out of making laws to dedicate the day to giving speeches about Victoria, her tragic death, and her devoted service to protecting the world?
"What's going on?" May said as she came in, and saw the look on Coulson's face. She moved over to his side, and looked at the scene playing on his phone. "Is that Congress?"
"Why are they saying something about giving Agent Hand a gold medal, posthumously?" Fitz asked. "Doesn't posthumous mean after you're dead? She's not dead!"
"Congressional Gold Medal. It looks nice anyway." Tony offered. "And they're saying nice things about her. I'm expecting the things that they might say about me when I die to be x-rated."
"Is Fury even trying to fix this?" May demanded. The news of Victoria's supposed death seemed to be spreading and she was getting very concerned that she hadn't been able to reach her family to let them know that Victoria was okay, and sleeping off a terrible case of the flu.
"Yes, but he's not having much luck." And half of Congress apparently planned to be at the funeral scheduled for Victoria. Was it even possible to correct the situation at this point?
"I just hope no one's watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail." Fitz said. "It might give them the idea that the easiest way to fix this is to whack Agent Hand over the head so she doesn't miss her funeral after all."
"Fury wouldn't." May said.
"Congress doesn't like to be made fools of." Tony said. "Believe me, I know. And wouldn't it be kind of embarrassing for them to find out that they're making a fuss about someone who's alive and just has a bad case of the flu?"
"What?" a voice called from the cafeteria and suddenly John Garrett came pushing his way in. Had he heard someone suggesting that people might think it would be easier to kill Vic than to try to straighten out this entire mess with everyone thinking she was dead? "Phil…."
"Didn't I tell you to stay outside?" Coulson demanded.
"I heard you talking through the window." And he might have damaged a window getting in. But surely there was some glass somewhere that could fix that right up. "You don't think someone might really try to do something to Vic, do you?"
"We are on lock-down. I'm sure we don't need to worry. No one is supposed to go in or out of a lock-down, except you've somehow failed to grasp that concept, haven't you?" But John was in here, and already exposed to the flu. It was too late to do anything about it now, except hope he had gotten a flu shot that worked. "Go find Captain Rogers, and help him feed sick people. You wanted in here so badly, you're going to work. And don't complain to me if you get the flu!"