Disclaimer : I don't own it.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
(Will's POV)
I frowned to myself as my stomach gave a slight heave. Mystery meat is right. I belatedly wondered what on God's green Earth could inspire me to actually take a bet with Epps and eat the meat. Especially now, when it threatened to come right back up again.
My eyes danced over the large loading plane in front of me, where Optimus Prime was currently boarding, with Prowl and Ironhide behind him. They were all in vehicle mode, and were getting ready to be shipped out on the most recent mission. This one, unfortunately, was 'bots only, so I and the other human soldiers got to sit it out.
Not that I was complaining. Currently I was eyeing a nearby port-a-potty with what I'm sure was a disturbingly longing look, but my stomach gave another heave, and I sucked in a slight breath, trying to stave off the pains climbing slowly up my stomach.
"Man, I wonder what the cooks were thinking." Epps looked at me a long moment, and then smirked. "Or you, for that matter. You are aware you're the only one who actually ate the meat, right?"
"Whoever said green meat was 'still good' needs to have their eyes, nose and stomachs tested." My own eyes narrowed. "Or they're a Decepticon in disguise." Perfect way to get rid of the humans. Serve them rotten meat and watch them all die of food poisoning.
The thought sent another bout of nausea through me, and with a pretty abrupt groan, I took off for the port-a-potty, ignoring the laughter behind me. Yeah, yeah, yuck it up, buddy. I thought sourly, dashing inside and locking the door. You'll get yours.
(Normal POV)
The few Autobots actually going on the mission boarded the plane successfully, communicating with each other via an internal link. No one really thought much of the absence of Will, especially when a snickering Epps mentioned food poisoning.
Ratchet did volunteer to remain behind, a little worried about what this 'food poisoning' could potentially do to one of the humans, but Robert waved it off, telling him it wasn't severe. Will just needed a little time and some tums, he assured the doc bot.
Reluctantly, Ratchet joined the others on the plane, while on the runway below, Autobots began gathering their charges. Bumblebee picked up Sam and Mikaela, giving out a little warble to show his displeasure at having been left behind. Jolt, and the Corvette twins remained a good distance back, with the majority of the human troops.
A few single soldiers were boarding the plane now, acting as helpers on board for the Autobots, and the pilots were chatting outside, before they got ready.
Skids and Mudflap parked next to the port-a-potty, and transformed. They watched the plane longingly, before turning somewhat confused and disturbed optics to the sounds coming from the potty itself.
'Do I wanna know?'
'Probably not. Don't wanna stand here, either.' Mudflap moved a little distance away, not taking notice of the....inconvenient placing of the potty, as compared to the plane. 'Been there before, bro. It's nasty.' He shuddered a little, remembering the smell that filtered out of the last port-a-potty, when someone had made similar sounds.
It was beyond both of them why humans used these things. They were far from sanitary, as Ratchet had a field day pointing out, smelled aweful, and were far more inconvenient than convenient.
Giving his brother a look, Skids silently debating starting an argument, but sighed a little when he remembered the strict lecture he and his brother had, when it came to behaving. Not to mention, what Mudflap had mentioned didn't sound all that pleasant. When the smell hit him, he suddenly realized why his brother suggested moving.
A rather sickly groan caught his audio sensors, but he covered his face plates and quickly and silently dashed off to join his brother, trying not to gag. 'Oh, ew!'
'Warned you' Came the sing song reply, causing him to smack his brother on the arm. "Ow, hey!"
"That's just nasty!"
Epps looked to one of the soldiers, and smirked. "He lost it." He watched as the soldier walked over, looking incredulous. Literally.
"Are you serious?? I thought that man had an iron stomach!"
"Apparently not. You should'a seen the way he ran off!" Holding out his hand, Epps raised an eyebrow. "Pay up."
Grumbling a little, the soldier took a twenty from his pocket and handed it to the lieutenant. "Man, they should use that stuff as biological warfare!"
Taking the twenty, Robert stuck it in his pocket and laughed. "I'm not sure they could." When he got a confused look, he shrugged. "I'm not sure it's biological." He and the nameless soldier laughed, taking a step back as the pilots waved to them and began boarding the plane.
Turning, they laughed as they made their way over to the line of Autobots and humans, watching from a safe distance as the plane started up. One of the newcomers opened up a video camera and began filming as the jet engines started up, causing massive winds to swirl around the plane.
"Huh, is it a good idea for that to be there?" Jolt pointed to something on the runway.
Everyone looked, and Robert felt his eyes widen when he realized just how close to the plane the port-a-potty was. His jaw dropped as the engines roared to life, and the potty shook a little before sliding back an inch. He felt torn between running screaming, warning Will about what was happening, and falling over laughing, even as the potty slid back another inch, jerkily.
Suddenly, the door flew open, and Will stumbled out. He raised a hand to cover his face, while seemingly trying to hold himself together. Then he stumbled backwards and tumbled, being blown over by the force of the wind.
"Hey!" Will's voice was drowned out by the sound of the engines.
Epps lost it, laughing out right as he watched toilet paper attached to Will's shoe fly up and slap the Captain in the face, before said Captain took another tumble, this time sumersaulting backwards as he and the port-a-potty were blown over again.
"HEY!" Will staggered to the left, just managing to barely avoid being hit when the port-a-potty tipped over and slid even further.
Jolt ran out towards the plane, and managed to grab the Captain, holding him safely as he ran back to the others, who watched in morbid fascination as the potty slid further and further away on it's side, streamers of toilet paper blowing away.
As Jolt reached their sides, he gently put Will down, who staggered a little, took three steps to his left, and collapsed at the blue mech's feet.
"Oh maaaannnn!" Will closed his eyes and shook his head a little.
"Have fun?" Epps laughed, raising his hands in defence when Will shot him a look and all but growled at him. "What? I was just asking a question. You're just lucky you weren't inside that thing when it tipped!"
They turned and saluted the plane as it began to travel down the runway, lifting off after a few moments.
"Tell me about it." Will staggered to his feet, an unhealthy shade of green as he leaned against Jolt's legs.
"I know." Robert shot his friend a look. "That would've been a really crappy way to go." He busted up laughing again, even as Will made a face, flipped him off, and closed his eyes, sinking back down against the giant metallic foot.
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Hope you like it.
R+R please.
Thank you.
Tenshi