Sorry, I couldn't update yesterday, but I've managed to update today instead of Friday, so, it could have been worse.
When I started to write this fic, I was supposed to end with this chapter (slightly different though), which explains the fact that the first part of this chapter corresponds to my prologue. BUT, I take so much fun writing this story, and I know some of you like it too, so I'm not stopping :) I'll take this fic until the end of their seventh year.
Thank you so much to all of you who read, reviewed, followed and favorited this story. This is so amazing that some of you have followed me for so long (408 pages on my Word document, that's not nothing!) and I hope you'll follow me further ;)
So, next update on Sunday.
I hope you like this chapter, tell me what you think about it. Please, don't forget to review :)
Sectumsempra
Rosier, Avery, Mulciber, Lestrange and Bellatrix Black walked towards them. James instantly put himself between them and Lily, his wand already held tightly in his hand.
"We're in luck today my friends!" Bellatrix said, with one of her cat-like smiles. "The Mudblood we were looking for, and as a bonus we even have her little puppy!"
The others laughed cruelly. James passed a protective arm in front of Lily. She had seized her wand too.
"What do you want Black?" asked James in a cold voice.
"Make you pay for what you and your friends have done of course! You're the reason why Amycus almost got expelled."
"He should have been", spat James, his voice shaky with fury.
"You're not getting away this time", answered Avery.
And before James could answer, he was deflecting a curse sent by Mulciber. Lily disarmed Rosier before he could move and James petrified him, and he fell on the ground in a thud. Lestrange and Avery were now duelling fiercely against James, while Mulciber and Bellatrix were focusing on Lily. The Slytherins were good duellers, and before long James and Lily were both covered with scratches and bruises. Finally Lestrange fell to the floor, ropes wrapped around his limbs.
"Impedimenta!" James roared.
And Avery was sent flying into the stone wall. James turned his attention on Lily. She had just knocked Mulciber out, and was protecting herself from the rain of spells that Bellatrix was sending upon her. James raised his wand, but before he could say any incantation, another voice echoed from the end of the corridor.
"Sectumsempra!"
James felt the spell hit him on his back, right under his right collarbone. His wand slipped from his hand and fell on the ground as both Bellatrix and Lily suddenly stopped fighting. He could feel something wet and warm flowing down his back. He could barely breathe. He felt the same warmth on his face. Lily's eyes grew wide, a terrified expression painted on her face, while Bellatrix looked mesmerized.
"James...", Lily gasped in a weak and shaky voice.
He tried to answer, but all that came out of his mouth was a low groan, and he finally fell on his knees. Lily rushed towards him, forgetting completely the gang of Slytherins around them. She kneeled next to him, and he fell upon her. He could feel the warm liquid going down his torso as an unbearable pain was slashing his chest. He put his hand on his white shirt, but when he looked down at it, it was covered with blood. When he looked at Lily again, he was terrified.
"You really have to teach me this one, Snape!" said Bellatrix in a joyful tone.
She clapped her hands together and jumped on the spot, like a child who has just seen his big birthday cake.
"Later perhaps", Snape answered. "You should all go before a teacher comes. I think they have had their lessons."
"You're right."
Bellatrix and Snape helped the others to their feet and they all ran towards the end of the corridor. All except Snape, who remained in a dark corner of an alcove, a few feet away from the two Gryffindors. Lily didn't notice anything, she couldn't. All her attention was focused on James. She held his bleeding and weak body in her arms, cradling him gently, as she would have done with a little boy who cried. She was softly stroking his messy black hair, thinking as fast as she could of all the counter curses and healing charms she knew. But she had no idea what to do.
"It's gonna be alright, James, it's alright."
She was crying and her tears were falling on James's cheeks, mingling with the blood covering his pale face. She could feel him growing weaker and weaker in her arms.
"Stay with me James, it's alright. It will be fine."
She knew the others would be here in any minute now, and the only plan she could glimpse through her clouded mind was to wait for them. They would know what to do, and she begged James to wait with her for their arrival.
"Lily..."
He tried to speak but he winced with pain.
"Don't try to talk, just stay with me, it'll be fine."
But he could feel that it wasn't going to be fine. He was dying, here, on the cold floor of the dungeons in Lily's wonderfully gentle arms. He was dying, and he knew he didn't have much time.
"Lily, I've got to tell you..."
He could barely breathe now, every rise and fall of his chest was a struggle, but he had to tell her before he could give up and rest.
"I..."
He winced again, and she let out a sob.
"I love you, Lily."
His hazel eyes were fixed upon hers, full of tears, and she knew he meant it. He really did love her.
"I've loved you since the first time I saw you, on our first evening in Hogwarts, and I've never stopped falling more and more in love with you since. I love you, and I always will."
She cried even harder, choking. She tried to speak, but the words stayed stuck in her throat. He slowly closed his eyes.
"NO! No James!" she cried.
He was drifting away, she was losing him. She looked desperately around her, and it was only then that she noticed Severus.
"Sev! Sev, help me! Please help me!"
She begged him, choking and crying. She knew he was the one who had cursed James in the first place, but right now he was her only hope.
"I don't know the counter curse. Oh please Sev, help him!"
"Why? Why do you want me to help him? He's just a toerag, you said it yourself. He's just a bullying prat, he's not worth my help! Why do you want to save him?"
She looked at him right in the eyes. He had never seen her in so much pain.
"Because I love him."
Severus stood still, and felt something break inside of him. Her words were so true, he had no doubt of her feelings for him. His blood boiled through his veins. How could she love him? He was nothing but a git. And still, when he looked at her, bent over James's bleeding body, crying and begging and terrified, he couldn't deny the truth: Lily Evans was deeply in love with James Potter. And as he had just confessed before losing consciousness, James loved her too.
Suddenly, there were footsteps in the corridor and the three Marauders and Clara ran towards them. As they were catching sight of James and Lily, they all stopped dead.
"No..." gasped Sirius.
A second later he was by James's side.
"Prongs..." he whispered, tears flowing down his face.
Remus, and Clara fell to the ground as well.
"GO LOOK FOR HELP!" Remus urged Peter.
The latter nodded, his eyes wide in terror, and disappeared in the stairway towards the Hospital Wing.
"Prongs, do you hear me?" asked Remus.
The four of them were crying now. James had his eyes closed, and under all the blood he was pale as sheets.
"Please Sev..."
It's only when Lily said his name that Sirius noticed Snape, still hidden in the shadows of the alcove. He rose quickly, and in the blink of an eye he was holding Snape above the ground by his collar, pressing him against the wall.
"YOU DID THAT, DIDN'T YOU?" he roared.
"I did indeed", choked Severus beneath Sirius's tight hold on his neck.
"What is the counter curse?!" Sirius roared again. "I swear, if you don't tell me, I'm gonna tear you down to pieces. I'll kill you, do you hear me? I'LL KILL YOU!"
He pushed Snape even harder against the wall.
"Sirius, stop..."
Sirius turned to face Lily, releasing slightly Snape.
"Sev please," the ginger girl whispered, her voice made hoarse by tears. "I know you hate him, but he's not who you think he is. He's brave, and kind, and caring, and smart, and generous. He's loyal to a fault. Please Sev, I'm begging you. Save him!"
Snape freed himself from Sirius's grasp and pulled out his wand again. Sirius threw him a look full of warning, but Severus ignored him and moved his wand slowly above James, whispering the incantation. It sounded almost like a song. After a while, the bleeding ceased, then the cuts were closed again, and when Snape finally stopped James was almost completely healed. His breathing was audible again, but he was still too weak to wake up.
"Thank you..."
Lily pressed James's pale face against hers, holding him tightly, feeling him breathing against her. He was safe now.
A second later, Mrs. Pomfrey, professor McGonagall and professor Dumbledore were hurrying towards them, Peter at their heels.
"Move away! All of you!" ordered the nurse.
Except for Lily, who was still holding James in her arms, they all took a few steps back. Dumbledore and Mrs. Pomfrey took James to the hospital wing closely followed by Lily and Sirius, who refused to leave his side. McGonagall took the rest of them to Dumbledore's office, where the Gryffindors waited for some news from James, and Severus for the wrath of the Headmaster.
James finally opened his eyes. It was night. He could see the stars glimmering by the window, and their pale light was the first thing he saw. He looked around him, and finally realised that he was in the Hospital Wing, lying in a bed. At his right, Sirius was sleeping in a chair, his neck contorted in a strange position. On his left, Lily was asleep, lying on the bed next to his. She looked so peaceful, and beautiful... He kept staring at her for a while, motionless in his bed, merely admiring the moonlight bathing her red hair, and her slightly parted lips, and her fluttering eyelids... Eventually, James moved towards the bedside table, thirsty. But he winced hard as he was straightening up in the bed, and couldn't retain a loud moan. Sirius and Lily both woke up instantly.
"Prongs!" Sirius cried, not caring about his painful neck.
He jumped on his feet, and hugged James tightly, taking care at not hurting him nonetheless. James chuckled.
"I'm fine Padfoot."
"You scared the shit out of me! You scared us all."
"I'm sorry. I didn't see Snape, he cursed me from behind."
Now the memories of the attack came back to him vividly, and he couldn't help but shiver. Sirius finally released him, but he was soon replaced by Lily.
"I thought you were going to die..." she whispered in his ear.
"Of course not. You need much more than this to get rid of a Potter, trust me!"
She smiled in his hair, breathing deeply his scent of ginger and sugar, before pulling away again.
"I'm going to go fetch Mrs. Pomfrey, she asked us to warn her if you woke up."
James nodded, looking at her walking away and disappearing in Mrs. Pomfrey's office. When the nurse came back, Lily walked out of the Hospital Wing, and James felt his heart aching beneath his ribs.
Dumbledore entered his office in silence, walking around his desk and sitting down comfortably in his chair before speaking to the students before him.
"Mrs. Pomfrey has just warned me that Mr. Potter is going to be alright."
The Gryffindors sighed in relief.
"Miss Evans and Mr. Black have already told me what happened, and I don't reckon any of you are needed here," he added, looking at the Gryffindor students. "You can go back to the Gryffindor Tower, or go to the Hospital Wing to see Mr. Potter of course."
They hurried out of Dumbledore's office, heading for the Hospital Wing.
Dumbledore turned his electric eyes towards Snape, but he didn't say anything. He merely locked his intense blue gaze on Snape's dark glance, and the boy felt instantly uncomfortable.
"Am I going to be expelled?" Snape finally asked, unable to bear this silence anymore.
"No Severus, you're not going to be expelled," Dumbledore answered slowly.
Severus nodded.
"Thank you, I guess..." he said, more uncomfortable than ever under the Headmaster's deep stare.
There was another brief moment of silence, before Dumbledore would speak again.
"Now Severus, what has happened tonight reveals many things indeed," the Headmaster said slowly.
"Really?" said Severus cautiously.
"Well, the curse you used upon James could have killed him. It was Dark Magic, Severus. Very dark indeed."
Dumbledore let his words sink in.
"And yet," the Headmaster added slowly. "You saved him in the end. You repaired the mistake you had done."
Severus twitched upon his chair. Dumbledore was wrong, he was so wrong indeed. He hadn't done it for James, he would have gladly look at him dying. But there was Lily. Lily begging for James's life, Lily looking like she was going to crumble, like she would stop breathing herself if the boy in her arms had died... It was all because of Lily, not because of charity.
"Severus, you do not have to take this path," Dumbledore told the boy softly. "You can still come back from the road that you've been crafting for yourself these past few months. I know what you are capable of Severus, and you could be great at doing bad just like you could be great at doing good. Today, you showed these two faces: you attacked James Potter with a deadly curse, and yet you heard Lily Evans' plea and chose to heal her friend to spare her the suffering his death would have caused her."
Severus stared at Dumbledore.
"You cursed James out of the hatred you have held against him and fed for years. And you have saved him out of your love for Lily."
Severus swallowed the lump in his throat. This man had read right through him.
"You can both do good and bad Severus, it is your choice to make. But no matter what you will do to prove me wrong, you will never convince me that you are altogether evil, and that there is no light left in your soul. We could do good and great things together Severus, if you were willing to let me help you."
The Slytherin clenched his jaws, shifting in his chair.
"I don't think I need your help for anything Professor," he answered in a cold voice.
Dumbledore sighed.
"It's a shame really. But if you ever change your mind, know that my door will always be opened to you."
The Slytherin didn't answer.
"You will have detentions, and fifty points will be taken from Slytherin. You will not be allowed to go to Hogsmeade anymore. You may go now. Your friends should be already waiting in the corridor with Professor Slughorn, could you ask them to come up?"
Snape nodded and strode out of the room. Dumbledore had read right through him, and he hated it.
When Sirius walked though the portrait hole, he couldn't say that he was surprised to find Clara waiting for him, sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace. She looked up at him as she heard him coming into the room, and he sat down next to her, wrapping his strong arms around her, and pulling her closer to him.
"How is he?" she asked him.
Her eyelids were heavy with sleep, it was almost one in the morning.
"He'll be just fine," Sirius answered. "He'll stay in the Hospital Wing tomorrow, and should rest for the next two or three days, before coming back to class."
She looked up at him, her head resting upon his shoulder.
"How are you?"
He shrugged. It would be lying to her to say that he was fine. She caressed tenderly his torso, in a soothing movement that she knew was never failing to calm him down. And indeed, not five seconds after, he was sighing.
"Not very well, to be honest," he finally answered, his gaze fixed upon the burning flames in the hearth.
She could see in his grey eyes what he was thinking about. His glance was cold and merciless, the kind of glance he had before using violence. And she couldn't let him do this...
"Don't go after Snape," she told him slowly, her voice begging.
"I can't do nothing..."
"You have done enough for James already. Going after Snape will bring nothing good, only more hatred."
"I don't think one can hate someone more than I hate him right now."
"Dumbledore has already taken care of him. He will be punished."
"He needs more than detentions, Clara. He deserves more than a fucking detention!"
"Maybe he does. But it's not your decision to take."
"And why not?"
She cupped his cheek in her hand, forcing him to look at her.
"Because none can be the judge and the executioner. Because you're simply mad right now, and I understand, I'm mad too. But if you go after him, and hurt him, you will regret it sooner or later. Because you're not like them."
He closed his eyes, resting his brow against hers.
"It's crazy the way you can put sense into my head. Remus tried, but you're way more talented at it than he is."
She chuckled, rubbing her nose against his, her eyes closed as well by now.
"Promise me you will let Dumbledore deal with Snape," she said, her voice not more than a whisper, barely audible over the sound of the burning blazes.
"I promise," he answered in the same tone.
He winced.
"Thank you, for not letting me become like one of them."
"Even without me, you would never be like one of them, Sirius. You're too kind-hearted for that."
He smiled, and slowly, the space between their lips shrunk, and finally disappeared.
She couldn't delay this moment any more. She had to talk to him. James had been out of the Hospital Wing for three days now, and during these three days she had carefully t avoided him. She had needed some time to be ready to do this, and she wanted to do it the proper way. She had no idea why she was so scared of talking to James, after all he had told her he loved her, and the sincerity in his eyes when he had confessed his feelings to her was undeniable, but still... She took a deep breath, and knocked on the door of the Head Boy's dormitory. She heard James walk towards the door, and she hesitated one last time. Running away to her own private dorm seemed a charming idea indeed. But she didn't move. She would be brave, she would have this talk with him...
James opened the door, and propped up an eyebrow when he saw the redhead girl on the threshold.
"Hi," he said, his voice uncertain. "Can I help you with something?"
"Can I come in?" she asked, her voice shaky too.
He let her come inside. She couldn't retain a smile at the sight of his messy bedroom. Quills, parchments and clothes had been thrown all around the room. They had started class for less than a week, and his room was already a mess. It was so much like James...
"Sorry 'bout the mess," he said.
He flicked his wand a couple of times, cleaning most of the room.
"It's okay," she reassured him. "I don't mind."
He lowered his wand and put it on his desk. They were both standing, still, in the middle of the room. The silence between them was deafening. Finally, Lily took a deep breath, and summoned our courage.
"We should talk about what happened..."
But James interrupted her, shushing her with a quick gesture of the hand. He heaved a sigh.
"I know what you're going to say. But before you tell me you won't ever talk to me again, please, hear me out," he told her, his voice shaky with emotions. "I know I've fucked up... again. I shouldn't have said that. I should have never told you how I feel. I know you don't feel the same, and you probably never will, I get it. But I don't know, I just... I just needed you to know how I felt. It was selfish, and stupid, and ridiculous, and I would understand if you were mad at me. But please, don't let things get back to the way they were before, when you hated me."
He sniffed, a tear rolling down his cheek. He swept it away quickly, clenching his jaws. He cleared his throat again. Lily was frozen on the spot.
"Now, I understand you have your doubts about me, but... I've always been honest with you, Lils. I acted like an idiot for a while, it's true, I wanted to impress you, and I was childish and stupid by then, but I understood. I'm not like this anymore, and you know it. I've changed, I've grown up. But I still feel the same for you, Lily. And I'm honest, and trust me, if I've done all the things I've done these past few years, it wasn't just to prove something to myself, it was because I cared about you. Now... you can do whatever you want. I won't stop you from walking away, but I don't want you to push me away again, and I wish there was something I could do to show it to you, to prove you that I really want to be with you, Lily."
She took a step closer to him.
"You really do love me, don't you?" she asked.
It wasn't cocky. It was earnest, and tender. James managed to swallow back the lump in his throat. He nodded, but she wanted more than a nod.
"Do you?" she asked again.
He looked at her in the eyes, a new tear rolling down his cheek.
"I love you, Lily. I love you more than anything in this world."
A tear rolled down her cheek too, and yet the ghost of a smile was curving her red lips. She caressed James's cheek with her fingertips, sweeping gently his tear away.
"I'm not here to tell you that I won't speak to you again James," she told him, smiling now.
She took another step closer to him. They were so close... Their faces were barely a few inches apart.
"I've come to tell you the truth."
He stared at her green eyes. It was as if their magnetism had caught hostage his gaze, and now he couldn't look away from them.
"I remember."
He narrowed his eyes.
"I remember what happened during the summer," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
James's eyes widened.
"I remember what happened when we were alone in the basement, when I thought we were going to die. I remember our kiss."
James's heart was racing in his chest. They were both slightly out of breath.
"I remember our kiss," she repeated. "And I don't..."
She cleared her throat, made hoarse by too much emotion.
"I don't regret it."
James's heart stopped. Lily took another deep breath.
"I'm sorry," she said, crying by now. "I'm sorry if I made you suffer. I'm sorry it took me so much time to figure it all out."
She sniffed, and dried her face. When she looked up at him again, she wasn't crying anymore. She had to be strong...
"I came to tell you that I remember everything, and though it happened under terrible circumstances, our kiss is the best thing that has ever happened to me."
James felt like the whole world around him had disappeared. He couldn't move, nor speak, he couldn't even properly think. He felt like it was a dream. But it wasn't a dream, and Lily went on.
"I was so scared, and I didn't know if you really had feelings for me and... I don't know I was just scared. I was trying to protect myself, and that's why I told you I couldn't remember anything. I thought... I thought that, if you really felt something for me, if you really wanted this kiss, you would talk to me about it. I thought you would try to be with me anyway, but you didn't say anything. And so I thought you regretted it but... But since then not a day has passed during which I haven't thought about what happened, and wanted it to happen again."
She sniffed again, not even sweeping her face. Her cheeks were wet, but she couldn't mind. She had tried to be strong, be she just couldn't right now...
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you. But James, I... I can't deny it anymore because you see... The whole world changes when you enter a room, and all that is evil on this earth disappears when you're near me. I never feel as safe as I do when I'm in your arms. I'm so much happier with you than anybody else. And all these things I feel when you're here and when you hold my hand and..."
Her voice broke. She shook her head, struggling to continue. She breathed deeply several times. She looked up at him again, losing her soul in his hazel eyes.
"I love you James."
A tear rolled on James's cheek again. He didn't move, nor speak.
"I love you," she told him again. "I love you with all my heart, and I don't think I could live without you."
Finally, James lifted up his hands to her face. He dried her cheeks with his thumbs, waiting for her to calm down. The feeling of his fingers against her skin sent electricity up her spine. After a while, none of them was crying anymore. Lily finally broke the silence.
"James... Please, say something."
He smiled, caressing tenderly her cheeks. His left hand abandoned her face, and the air felt so cold after the warmth of James's skin. He ran his right hand through her hair, and moved it to the back of her neck, cradling her head. He passed his left arm around her waist, and pulled her closer to him. She didn't resist. He stared at her eyes, and he smiled at her again, almost grinning. Before she could say or do anything, he crushed their lips together. She ran her hands in his dark hair, moving her lips with his, pressing herself closer to him. Their lips parted, and he tasted her tongue... It was overwhelming, and marvellous, and perfect. It was better than anything James had ever dared to dream. He sucked tenderly her lower lip, and she moaned softly. Merlin, this moan was so beautiful... After an eternity, they pulled away, out of breath, their hearts pounding, grins stuck on their faces.
"Why didn't you tell me about our kiss?" she asked him softly.
James shook slowly his head, running a hand through her red hair, smiling sadly.
"I knew you were lying, Lils."
Her eyes grew wide.
"I knew you were lying," he said again. "I thought you regretted this kiss, and that it was why you were lying. I thought you didn't want to be with me, so I didn't tell you. It was useless anyway... if you regretted it, it was useless."
"I'm so sorry, James..."
"It's okay. I knew you would finally come to your senses," James laughed.
She laughed too.
"Was it what you had written in your letter?" he asked her, his thumb caressing her cheek, his brow resting upon hers. "That you remembered?"
She nodded slowly.
"And that I loved you," she added, running her hands through his messy dark hair.
James sighed painfully.
"I should have read it..."
"Yes, you should have."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. If you let me kiss you again, I'll forgive you."
They laughed, and she took off his glasses, before kissing his mouth one more time. Their soft, tender kisses became more and more passionate, as they were both holding each other tightly. After a while, James lifted her off the ground, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her to his bed. Lying on top of her, he moved his lips to her neck, and they found their way to her left ear.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked her in a breathy whisper. "I know you've never done it before, and I can wait. I'll wait as long as you want. I'll do whatever you want me to do."
She smiled and answered in his ear in a breathy whisper too.
"I want you to love me James. I want to do it with you, and I want to do it now."
"Are you sure Lils?"
"Yes, I am."
His lips found her mouth again, and they sat up. He let her take off his shirt, and she let him take off her Gryffindor T-shirt. She stroke his back, while his hands were wandering on her ribs, and they both moaned in each other's mouth. He took off her bra, and made her lie down again. He moved his lips down her neck and to her breasts. She gasped as he was cradling her nipple between his lips. She grabbed a handful of his hair as he moved his kisses down to her stomach. She was out of breath, her body was on fire, and yet James's lips were hotter still. He took off her skirt, kissing her thigh. His pants flew away across the room as well. Soon their underwear were gone too. Her soft skin was making him shudder, he thought he was losing his mind, he ached so much for her... He kissed her ribs.
"James..." she moaned.
He moved back up to kiss her lips.
"I love you, Lily," he whispered, kissing her eyes.
"I love you, James," she answered, kissing his shoulder.
He looked at her in the eyes one last time, losing himself in their green softness, and he saw the look of love he had thought he would never see in her eyes while looking at him, before loving her like he had never loved anyone before.