"Potter is coming along quite nicely," Severus commented the next morning and threw a hex at her.
Hermione, so surprised by the unexpected compliment that she nearly missed his knife slashing down at her, realized his tactic a heartbeat too late.
"That's not fair," She protested, throwing herself to the side and bombarding him with a quick succession of stunners. "Irritating me in such a way!"
His grin, exposing the tips of his canines, might have looked dangerous and aggressive to most, but to Hermione it was the excitement of battle that shone in his eyes, and she knew that her face probably mirrored his sentiments exactly.
"All is fair in war," He grinned, blocked her stunners with a dome of green light and threw an answering curse at her.
They had finally started to combine magical and physical attacks into something Severus called a "Martial Duel", something she had read about in the more obscure DADA texts of the Hogwarts library. Only few wizards possessed the talent these days, but Hermione had found that she enjoyed this advanced level of duelling tremendously.
To survive it, you needed excellent reflexes, a wide array of curses, hexes and other spells that you could perform with or without wand, and a hand for the dirty aspects of physical fighting. Thanks to her aunt, her own studies and her training with Severus, she possessed all of that in an amount sufficient to cause even her Spymaster problems.
She had nearly defeated him last time. That was the only reason why he now used cunning instead of straightforward fighting, she thought amusedly.
"It's Draco's help that does it," She took up the thread of their conversation after she had aimed a high kick at his head. "I don't know how they are doing it, but they seem to work well together. They have even started to stage quite impressive fights."
Severus grinned and nodded again. He had heard about those. Minerva had told him about one that had taken place in front of the Charms classroom, and had nearly caused poor Professor Flitwick a heart attack. According to him, they had been very near killing each other. According to them, it had been great fun.
"What about MacNair," He now asked, brought his knife in low and slashed at her left thigh. But this time around she had been prepared and nearly kicked his knife out of his hand.
"Oh no, it won't work a second time," She panted and countered with a diagonal slash that ruined yet another one of his shirts.
"Neither will putting the question off till all eternity," He warned her, aimed a last kick at her stomach and then raised his knife in a ritual gesture.
"Enough for today," He said, and she responded with a gesture mirroring his own. "You did well."
"Oh, compliments all over the place," She grinned and re-sheathed her translucent knife. "You could at least admit that I nearly had you."
"If such a thing were the case, I would certainly admit it. You were miles away!"
She didn't honour him with an answer, just threw back her head in mock defiance and her hair, only barely controlled by her slide, escaped from its confinements and flowed over her shoulders. He had to avert his face to hide his reaction.
"You are right about MacNair, though," She told him while he concentrated on cleaning his knife, his back turned towards her. "We have to do something."
"What do you propose?" His voice lacked all expression, but he hoped she would attribute it to concentration and the exhaustion after a good fight.
"The only thing possible. Dispose of him. He is too dangerous to catch him or hand him over to the Ministry. But I haven't decided how to do it best, yet."
"We should find a way to use his death to your advantage among the Death Eaters. Perhaps if we let him appear disloyal…"
"If we let them find his body, I can't be the one to kill him," She warned him, drying her neck and forehead with a towel. "Voldemort might be able to detect my magical signature."
"I didn't mean you to do it," The topic had helped to divert his thoughts from her face, hair and body, and he was able to turn back around to her, to meet her eyes and open their secret connection.
It is time for me to return to the field. I have started to feel old, and we don't want me to become rusty.
I can't even begin to tell you how unlikely that is, She answered quietly. Dinner tonight?
He shook his head and the disappointment in her face made his heart ache. Albus and Moody. It will be a very long evening.
"I wonder how you manage to teach without falling asleep," She commented aloud, smiling at him to show that she didn't mind.
"Ah," He answered. "That is one of the greater miracles of existence."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
The afternoon found her in one of the numerous courtyards, sitting together with Harry under an old willow. They had been discussing Order matters for some time, but soon their conversation swayed to more general matters.
"Strange, isn't it? That this year will be our last one in Hogwarts?" Harry asked her, tilting back his head and looking up to the sunny sky above them.
Hermione shrugged. "It will be a relief," She said quietly. "I haven't felt like a student for ages, and school has become a nuisance that keeps me from things which need to be done." She smiled, her face softening in the weak rays of the sun. "And I'd be very surprised if the two of us wouldn't stay at Hogwarts. Security is best here, and now that the Order's Headquarters have moved…"
"True," Harry acknowledged. "But it won't be the same."
He sighed. "It isn't the same even now. With Ron still angry at us, and all our spare time spent with Order business – I can't remember when I last had a free day."
"Christmas," Hermione answered after a moment.
"Yes, Christmas," Harry agreed, then turned towards her and examined her critically, his sharp, inquisitive eyes scanning her face. "Did you really visit your parents over Christmas? I thought they were in hiding somewhere in America?"
Hermione nodded, and gave a sigh of her own. "I was with Severus," She admitted silently. "Training, talking, planning. And a good thing it was, for I nearly died on Christmas. He saved my life that day."
"Good thing you have him," Harry commented and saw her shoulders relax. It was only a minimal change, barely visible, but it told him that she was still insecure when her connection with Snape was brought up in his presence.
"I don't know what to do about Ron," She admitted after a moment. "I'm getting terribly nervous whenever I come near him, but I don't know how to make peace with him."
Harry's open laugh surprised her. "In all my years of being mate with Ron," He said. "I have never managed to make peace with him. He was always the one to take the first step."
He chuckled. "A Weasley's wrath can only overcome by a Weasley, I guess."
Suddenly, Hermione groaned and tried to hide behind Harry.
"Speaking of the devil," She whispered, and he turned around to see Luna, Neville and Ginny marching towards them, a very reluctant Ron in their midst.
"Want to leave? I can handle him on my own," Harry suggested in a whisper, and for a moment, Hermione seemed more than tempted to take his offer. But then she shook her head, lifted it and sat very straight suddenly.
"This is childish," She answered. "He will have to get along with me sooner or later!"
Her chin raised in defiance, she greeted the group with a warm smile. "Ginny, Luna," She hailed the girls. "Been some time! It's good to see you again."
"I'm not the only one you haven't talked to in quite some time," Ginny answered, straight to the point as always. "Neville, Luna and me have decided that we've had enough of this stupid quarrel. Whatever's the reason why you three have stopped talking, you will get over it. Now."
Harry had to hide a grin at her direct approach. What had Draco said about Gryffindors the other day? As subtle as an attacking hippogriff. He'd never believed this day to come, but in his heart, he couldn't help but agree with the Slytherin.
"It isn't that simple, Ginny," He cautioned her, but his eyes were fixed on Ron, telling him that this message was meant for his own ears alone. "There are many things going on between Ron and us, and I don't think this is the right time or place to discuss…"
"Oh, I think it is even simpler," Ron disagreed roughly, his face flushed with anger as it was nearly every time they met these days. "You have decided to change team and have abandoned your friends. I don't think there's much going on besides that."
"Let us go to Hermione's room," Harry offered in an attempt to stop the outburst from happening in the open, in the presence of people who couldn't even begin to understand the situation. "This isn't for the eyes and ears of others, Ron."
"On the contrary," Ginny cut in, and both Luna and Neville nodded their agreement. "We are very involved in this, Harry. You two barely spent any time in the Common Room these days. You're always hiding in Hermione's room, or wherever you are. Luna and me can't even see you in lessons, so we barely have a chance to talk to you. We miss you! And although Ron is too much of a prat to admit it, he's missing you, too."
"I'm not," Ron shouted, his face turning redder by the second. "And they have much better things to do than spend time with me!"
Neville sighed, his broad, friendly face puckered in unhappiness. "I don't understand you three," He said quietly. "Since first year, you have always been best friends. There was nothing that could divide you. You fought together, you spent time together, and you shared everything. Why has that changed now? Unless…" Suddenly, his face reddened even more than Ron's. "Unless there's something going on between you two, and Ron's jealous…"
"Oh no, not between Harry and her," Ron disagreed bitterly. "She has much bigger fish to fry than just the Boy Who Lived, don't you, Hermione? Men of wealth and importance…"
"Ron, please," Hermione spoke for the first time. "You know this is about more than just us! We have no right to concentrate on our own wishes alone when there's a war going on around us! It is not the time for…"
"You are one to talk," He interrupted her, his face an ugly grimace of anger and hatred. "You with your own little Slytherin haven! Don't tell me you don't enjoy how they grovel around you! You disgust me, Hermione! I will never…"
"Enough!" Hermione suddenly thundered, her face pale but her voice so full of power and authority that Ron fell silent immediately. The others stared at her in surprise, even Harry, who had never heard that tone from her. Neville had unconsciously stepped away from her and nearly stumbled over Luna, who simply stretched out an arm and steadied him without a word.
Tentatively, Harry put a calming hand on Hermione's shoulder, but she shrugged it of, her lips white with fury. Even though both knew that Ron couldn't talk about her secrets, he had come much too close to their liking, and questions would no doubt follow.
"I can understand your disappointment, and your shock, Ron," She finally continued when the silence around them had grown oppressive. "But there is a limit to what I will accept from you, and you have just reached it. If you want to remain nothing but a self-centred, infantile idiot, so be it! I won't try to make you grow up, or accept responsibilities. But you will stop this sort of behaviour this instance! You have no right to risk plans and activities that have been progressing for months, just because you can't overcome your prejudices and for once use your brain! Grow up, goddamn you!"
Her voice, cold when she began, had turned into a glacier somewhere along her speech, a biting whip of ice and anger that made the others duck away from her. Never had they seen Hermione so angry. Power swirled around her as she sent her words towards Ron like missiles intent on destruction.
And it seemed that she had succeeded. Ron opened his mouth once, twice, his face very pale and his eyes widened comically, but no sound escaped his mouth. Then, he turned on his heel and left the courtyard, his shoulders slumped as if he was carrying a too heavy burden.
"That was unnecessary, Hermione," Ginny said reproachfully after she had recovered from her shock.
"Quite the contrary, Ginny," Hermione replied, her face a smooth mask and her voice pure velvet. "You have no idea how very necessary this was."
"Someone better follow him," Luna announced serenely. "Ronald can be very stupid sometimes."
Ginny sent her a glare that equalled Hermione's voice. "I'll go after him," She announced. "But don't believe this is over yet. I have a lot of questions that want answers."
"I was afraid she would," Hermione sighed once Ginny followed her brother out of the courtyard. "And I must say that my attraction to Obliviate-spells grows by the hour."
Once again, Harry simply placed a calming hand on her shoulder, and this time she nodded quietly. Her eyes seemed to ask for forgiveness, and for a moment, he increased the pressure of his hand, to tell her that it was all right.
Silence reigned in the courtyard while Hermione and Harry waited for Ginny to return. Luna was happily gazing at something only she could see, and Neville looked very much as if he wanted to vanish from the face of the earth.
Ginny returned all too soon, but instead of the determined expression they had expected her to wear, her face betrayed a mounting panic.
"Ron's heading towards the Forbidden Forest," She panted. "He's nearly reached the wards. I tried to talk to him, but he simply ignored me! It's dangerous out there, and it's gonna be dark soon!"
"We should call a teacher," Hermione proposed, but her eyes told Harry that she was talking about an Order member.
"No time," Ginny answered. "Once we've found a teacher Ron will be gone and it will take us ages to find him. We had better follow him!"
Harry groaned in frustration.
"Great," He grunted. "Really great. Ron's pulling one of his idiot stunts and we're here on our own."
"You never had any problems with doing things on our own! If we managed the Department of Mysteries, we should be able to follow Ron into the Forest," Neville pointed out, and Harry groaned once more.
"Don't remind me how stupid I was, Neville. It's really not the right time for this."
"We must do something," Hermione decided. "He's still your friend, Harry."
One month ago, Harry would have looked at her with irritation for pointing out something so obvious. It was yet another reminder for how much he had changed that he now understood her immediately. Whatever the problems between them, Ron was still officially labelled Number Three of the Golden Trio. What better way to hurt the Boy Who Lived and to bind him closer to his last remaining friend Hermione than kill Ron? Every Death Eater would be after him.
"Yes, of course," He murmured, feeling dread rise inside him and seize his throat with an iron grip.
"I propose that we split," She continued, but it sounded less like a proposal than like an order. "You four go and find a teacher while I follow Ron. Make haste!"
One month ago, he would have been infuriated by the proposal. Now, he simply nodded, sprang up and beckoned the others to follow him.
"Are you mad?" Ginny asked. "We're all members of the DA! Harry's much better than you in DADA! You're not going out there alone while we search for a teacher! No way!"
"She's right," Neville agreed, and, like he had done so many years before on the night they had fought for the Philosopher's Stone, stepped into Hermione's way. "I'm not letting you go alone!"
Hermione looked as if she seriously considered another Petrificus Totalus, but after a moment's hesitation, Harry agreed to the others.
"They're right," He said. "We can do this faster and better on ourselves. It isn't worth the trouble." He saw in her face that she had understood – stopping the others would lead to even more questions. This way, they had a good chance to get Ron back to Hogwarts in no time and keep the revelations to a minimum. If all went as he hoped.
"It's a bad idea, Harry," Hermione disagreed. "Please, don't risk it! I don't think you should…"
But Ginny interrupted them once more. "I don't know what you will do," She cried out angrily. "But I'm going to get my brother back now! Discuss strategy all you like, I'm following him!"
And she once more turned and left the courtyard in a run, Luna and Neville following her after only a moment of hesitation.
Harry could have sworn he heard a very shocking word pearl from Hermione's lips as she looked after them in indecision.
"I suppose it would be too much to ask you to stay here?" She then inquired, weariness in her voice.
Harry just looked at her, his face open and honest. "I will if you order me to," He answered quietly. "But they are my friends, too, and I am a pretty good dueller. Coddling me won't help, you know?"
0o0
They caught up with Ginny, Neville and Luna when the three had reached the outer edge of the Forbidden Forest and were preparing themselves to enter, clearly nervous.
"Which way did he go, Ginny," Hermione asked, as if she had never intended to leave them behind.
"I don't know," The redhead answered unhappily. "That way, I think. But I'm not sure…"
Without giving the others a chance to notice, Hermione gestured at Harry to take the lead. She fell in with his steps.
"Keep as quiet as you possibly can, people," Harry advised them in a whisper. "And no unnecessary magic."
"I'll just use a locator spell," Hermione whispered back He knew that her magic wouldn't attract the attention of their enemies – if there were any Death Eaters out there waiting for them - they all knew her magical signature and would simply assumed she had joined in with the hunt.
He noticed that Hermione used a more complex version of the "Point me" charm he had learned for the Third Task of the tournament, and made a mental note to later ask her about it. But most of his mind was fixed on listening, smelling and examining as much of the thick, tangled shrubbery around them as possible.
Fifteen nervous, strained minutes later, they found Ron, sitting on a tree trunk in the middle of a small clearing, brooding and sulking.
"Ron, you prat," Ginny shouted angrily, left her place behind Harry and Hermione and advanced on her surprised brother to soundly slap him on the shoulder. "How can you leave the wards? You put us all in danger!"
"I never asked you to follow me, did I," He growled and received another slap for his answer.
"We should head back," Harry interrupted that sisterly display of affection. "It will be getting dark soon. And Ron," He added, his voice lowered to a dangerous level. "If you ever pull such a stunt again, I will do more than just slap you, believe me."
"I only wanted…"
"Hush," Hermione suddenly interrupted, and something in her voice made them turn around to her. What they saw made Ginny and Neville gasp in surprise.
Instead of the girl they had expected, they found a fighter standing behind them. Wand in hand, her stance low and threatening, her head stretched forward as if she sniffed something in the air, Hermione seemed as focused as a sharp knife.
"Get behind me," She whispered. "Try to keep the trees in your back. Someone's coming."
"But why?" Ginny asked. "You're no better dueller than Harry! And how can you know someone's near us?"
"You wanted to get involved quite badly," Hermione hissed, her eyes and ears fixed on something else only she could perceive." Now you're in the middle of it, and you will obey my orders as Harry does. Immediately!"
There was something in her voice, some jaded authority they couldn't place, that stopped all further protest. As quietly as possible, they gathered behind her, even Ron, although he needed a sharp pull from Harry to comply.
"I don't hear anything…" Ron started sullenly, but he fell silent abruptly when five dark shapes entered the clearing in a run.
Death Eaters.
Full grown.
Five of them.
Oh shit.
They stopped moving in perfect unison, not the kind of awkward standstill Harry would have managed, and raised their wands towards them.
"Look at that," One of them sneered. "Little Harry Potter hiding behind a girl. But she won't help you, little Harry. In fact, she's the last person you should be near at the moment."
He had probably meant Harry to react with confused stupidity, trying to better his chances for an attack. But Harry just raised his hand to stifle the murmurs rising among his friends, and stared at the Death Eater with cold hate. The man's eyes narrowed behind his mask. He opened his mouth to continue, when the clearing suddenly exploded into action.
It happened all in a heartbeat, too fast to see clearly, much less react.
Before the Death Eaters could even move, before Harry and Ron had managed to draw their wands, Hermione's empty right hand was suddenly filled with a gleaming dagger, and without a word, without a twitch of a muscle, she descended on one unsuspecting Death Eater with the stealth of a large cat and ran him through.
His body hadn´t even dropped to the ground when she had already whirled around to another black clad figure and cut his throat in a movement so precise that it took their breath away.
The other three Death Eaters had finally come to their senses. To see a student, and their supposed spy no less, kill two of them with such careless efficiency had shocked even those men. But now they had finally recovered and raised their wand for the killing curse.
"Ava…" One of them started, but Hermione flicked her wrist towards them as if she was throwing something.
And the Death Eaters exploded into a ball of fire.
It took them less than a minute to die, and she kept her wand trained on them the entire time. When the flames had flickered out, she prodded one of them with her booted foot and nodded in satisfaction at the utter lack of reaction.
"Stay behind," She ordered her friends without sparing a glance at them. "We don't know whether there are more in the vicinity."
Silence reigned the clearing while Hermione carried out several tracking and decloaking charms in rapid succession.
She then placed two glittering jewels in the middle of the clearing. Harry recognized them as an emergency alarm and one of the apparition directors they had been handed over when entering the Order. Any member trying to find them would automatically apparate to that jewel. He would never have thought of using it.
"All clear at the moment," She then continued, and something in her voice told Harry that she addressed him. "Explain everything to them, Harry. I´ll take care of this mess."
"But Hermione," He protested weakly. He had seen much cruelty over the years, but the way his friend had slaughtered those men, without a moment´s consideration, had shocked him deeply. "We didn´t have to kill them all! We could have stunned them…"
"And risk them escaping and blowing my cover?" Hermione had started to search the Death Eaters pockets, but now she looked up, her eyes as cool and calm as glaciers. "I think not. This means five men less on Voldemort´s side. No great loss, Harry."
"But…"
"Would somebody tell us what is going on?" Ginny demanded from behind Harry.
Turning around to his friends, Harry only now realized the state of them. They were clearly frightened, though Ginny fought this feeling as she did usually, with mounting anger. Neville, however, looked as if he would faint every minute, and even Luna had lost some of her usual serenity and was examining the five corpses in front of them with wide eyes.
Ron, however, was staring at Hermione as if his every nightmare had finally come true.
"She is a Death Eater, that's what going on," He spat viciously. Hermione didn't even look up from what she was doing to the corpses that littered the ground.
"That's not true, Ron. And considering that you're only alive because she saved us right now, a little respect wouldn't hurt you! She's a spy," He explained to the others, turning away from Ron whose eyes had narrowed in fury. "She has been for half a year now. She and I are both members of the Order, and Hermione has contacted Dumbledore already. Don't worry, help will be here any minute."
"But why did she kill them," Neville asked, his lower lip trembling slightly in shock. "And… how?"
"I don't know," Harry shrugged helplessly, his eyes drawn towards Hermione again, who was circling the small clearing, still unnaturally calmly.
"She has many hidden talents," He offered his friends, and only Luna nodded as if this explained anything. Ron was still watching Hermione with burning eyes, his face twisted into an ugly grimace of hate.
Barely two minutes passed before McGonagall, Snape and Remus Lupin apparated onto the scene, Lupin´s shocked intake of breath alerting Harry to the presence of their teachers. Hermione calmly re-sheathed her wand that had whipped out at the sound of their arrival, and turned towards Snape and McGonagall.
"No one got away," She reported calmly.
"Good work, Hermione," McGonagall commented appraisingly at the view before her. "Anybody wounded?"
"No." Her voice was monotonous like that of some machine, Harry noticed with horror, and suddenly he remembered a strange film Dudley had always loved, something about a killer robot sent from the future to eliminate a woman and her unborn child. He shuddered and tugged his hands deeper into his pockets, as if to get rid of these dark thoughts.
Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Remus, trying to usher him and the others away from the corpses, but Harry refused that soft pressure, for now Snape was stepping forwards, catching Hermione´s eyes with his dark, blazing ones.
What are they doing? He wondered when the silence between his friend and the Spymaster stretched. I can understand that he was worried, but it isn´t like him just to stare at her like that!
Abruptly, Snape broke the eye contact and nodded briskly.
"Well done," He said, as if in answer to some report, and again Harry wondered what was going on. "Let´s have a look at their faces, then."
Hermione just nodded and stepped lightly aside, offering him access to her prey.
Removing masks and hoods, Snape let his eyes linger on the corpses. Harry craned his neck to get a better look, but the faces were hidden from view.
"Anyone from the Inner Circle?" Snape asked expressionless.
"Atricus," Hermione answered, as cold as Snape. "Has been a member for three months. Introduced by MacNair."
Silence again. Harry noticed that Snape made no move to search the Death Eaters. His eyebrows rose in surprise, for he had never seen his meticulous Potions Master trust in anybody else's work. That he simply assumed Hermione would have worked thoroughly told Harry more about their relationship than the man´s hand, resting on Hermione´s shoulder for less than a second.
McGonagall joined Snape after a moment, her eyes glued to the faces of the dead attackers.
There was something strange in the way they lingered near the corpses, some expression in their face Harry couldn't place. But only when Remus walked over and cried out in shock did he find the courage to approach the dead. Among unknown men, covered in blood or their own, burnt skin, an all too familiar face caught him by surprise.
Theodore Nott, his body uninjured except the red line that marred his throat like a scarlet ribbon. Hermione had killed one of their schoolmates.
"But that's…," Harry gasped, immediately silenced by a warning glare and a slight shaking of the head from Snape. The others didn't have to know who had led the Death Eaters to them. They would never feel safe inside Hogwarts again if they did.
As Harry would never feel safe again. He stared into the dead face of the boy he had shared classes with this very morning, his eyes burning and his stomach absolutely hollow. How could he betray them? He was no older than they, and still he had been willing to kill them.
As Hermione had killed him, without a moment of hesitation.
"Does he have the mark?" He asked, his throat closing and giving him the feeling to suffocate.
Hermione shook her head. "They have stopped marking the Slytherins that attend school," She answered, still in that horribly calm, cool voice. "It became too risky after Severus was discovered as a traitor. They expected him to control their arms regularly, as he, in fact, had done before."
"I am so sorry you had to do that, Hermione," Remus said and walked closer to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It must be a terrible feeling."
The moment his hand connected with her body, Hermione tensed and stepped away quickly.
"He was a Death Eater," She answered, still expressionless, as if it explained everything and rendered this lost life unimportant. "This is my job."
Remus opened his mouth to say something, his eyes wide with surprise and shock. He looked exactly like Harry had felt after he had witnessed her by-the-way cruelty. Before their DADA teacher could collect his thoughts and reply however, Hermione had moved away from them, leaving the two Gryffindors to their worried silence.
"We should leave immediately," Snape informed them. "We have no idea if reinforcement is meant to arrive soon, and we definitely don't want to meet them."
They aparated to the edge of Hogwarts' wards, Remus and McGonagall taking Ginny and Luna with them, and walked on towards the castle from there, the lifeless bodies of their peer and his fellow Death Eaters floating besides their teachers. Harry noticed that Hermione and Snape had fallen back, and without conscious thought, he slowed down his steps until the front group had lost sight of him. Only then did he turn around and head back towards his friend and her mentor.
He hadn't talked about it to Remus or his friends, but her cruel efficiency had shocked him deeply. Even with all she had lived through during the last months, he hadn't believed her able of such a deed. That she should have changed so completely from the caring person she had once been worried him, and that she hadn't spared the corpses a second look worried him even more.
But when he reached a cluster of trees, half hiding behind an old oak, all he could do was prevent a shocked gasp from leaving his throat, for here was Hermione, cool, emotionless Hermione, leaning into the Potions Master and sobbing into his robes.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Severus," She whispered, clinging to him with all her strength. "I didn't know it was him! I swear, or I wouldn't have…"
"There was no way you could have known. Stop hurting yourself, Hermione," Snape replied calmly, but his voice was hoarse, and, now that Harry looked closer, his face had taken on an ashen, unhealthy tone.
Nott had been in his house, Harry realized suddenly, he had been under Snape's wing, and his turn to the Death Eaters must seem like a personal failing to Snape.
"But did you see the way the looked at me?" Hermione's voice floated towards him once more, the deep pain in it making him shiver. "As if I was a monster. Even Remus couldn't bear to meet my eyes."
Harry knew what she meant, and Snape did, too, judging from the way his arms closed around her even tighter for a moment. There was nothing Harry could have said to console her for the moment, for they had thought her a monster in the first moment of shock. Harry had seen it in their eyes and felt it in his own heart for a second, too.
Snape was silent for a moment, but when he spoke, his tone shocked Harry even more than the tight embrace they were sharing. If he hadn't gone completely mad, his brooding Potions Master sounded… flirtatious.
"Well, you certainly are the most beautiful and brilliant monster I have ever seen then, Hermione. I wouldn't mind if you decided to hide under my bed," He purred, and the girl laughed in relief, nuzzling even closer into his arms.
Another silence followed, and Harry was just getting ready to retreat as silently as possible, when suddenly Snape spoke again.
"Should we obliviate him?" He asked, his voice as light and unconcerned as if they were talking about the weather. Confused by the sudden change of topic, Harry saw Hermione shake her head against the dark cloth of Snape's robes.
"It's just Harry," She answered. "He has a right to know."
And then, towards the tree behind which Harry was yet recovering from the sudden shock: "You may come out now, Harry. The show's over."
"I… I am really sorry," Harry stammered while he stumbled away from his hiding place. "I was just worried."
Awkwardly, he approached the couple that was still embracing tightly. "You seemed so strange down there, Hermione…" He continued. "I didn't mean to spy!"
He could have slapped himself the moment this last word left his mouth, but to his astonishment, Snape's mouth curved upwards slightly. "Nor could you have done so. We heard you the moment you entered our vicinity. You breathed so loudly, I could have hexed you in the dark."
Harry ignored him completely. "Are you all right, Hermione," He asked, refusing to acknowledge the provocation.
Hermione nodded slowly and hesitatingly stepped away from Snape.
"Emotions aren't something I can afford while there is danger, Harry," She explained softly. "Now that everyone is safe, we can mourn Theodore."
She shared another look with Snape, and this time it was her hand that reached towards his shoulder in support. The Potions Master smiled in answer, but his eyes were bottomless pits and his face was pale like marble as he silently walked away from them towards the castle.
"It's hard for him," Hermione said once the man had left the clearing. "Every Slytherin that turns dark feels like a defeat to him. He blames himself for every single one he has lost over the years. I'm glad I don't have to shoulder a responsibility like that."
"Is that why he prefers the Slytherins in class and mocks the Gryffindors?" Harry asked slowly, thinking that, perhaps, he was finally starting to understand the riddle named Severus Snape.
"No," Hermione shook her head and smiled slightly in the direction where Snape had vanished. "That's because he hates Gryffindors and thinks Slytherins are the superior beings. He is every single bit as prejudiced in that respect as one can be."
Instead of the annoyance Harry would have expected at such a statement, her voice only held amusement and a strange tenderness, and her eyes smiled at something only she could see. It confused him to no end to see her face light up like that for the Head of Slytherin house, the greasy git, bastard in residence.
"What do you find in him, Hermione? Why is he so important? I've been watching you over the last two weeks, and this is more than a partnership born out of necessity. It's much more. Why?"
"Because he knows me Harry," She answered, her face worried and her voice pleading for understanding. "This is nothing against you, or Ron, or the other teachers, but Severus knows me in ways you could never begin to realize."
She took a deep breath, saw the hurt in his face, and hastily explained. "I… When you saw what I did today, you were shocked. Repulsed. I don't hold it against you, Harry, I would have thought exactly the same thing one year ago: How can she judge and end a human life like that? How can she be so inhumanly cruel? What has become of her? If you hadn't been too shocked to move or think, you would have confronted me about this right on the spot. Or you would have turned away from me in horror, like Ron did, and Remus."
Another deep breath, but this one sounded more like a sob. "I saw your faces, Harry. I know what you thought. You… you didn't understand that I was responsible for you and the others, that, as the main spy of the Order, I'm responsible for every single life the Death Eaters destroy. That I have to do terrible things to turn this war to our favour."
She laughed bitterly. "And how should you understand? Even you, who has confronted Voldemort more than once, never saw his true power, never witnessed his true cruelty. You don't know what it is like to do and say things that make you feel so dirty… so ashamed of yourself. I know you respect me, and that you would give your best to understand all this, but I know you never really could. Even this little glimpse into what I have become repulsed you – how could you ever deal with what I am doing with Lucius Malfoy, week after week?"
She paused, her dark, wide open eyes raised to his face. Unable to meet her gaze, Harry turned his head towards one of the huge, leafless trees surrounding him. He knew she was right. Even now did he remember that hollow feeling in his chest, that feeling of disgust even against his better knowledge, that thought: She has become a monster.
He couldn't bear to look into her eyes and admit it, so he turned away from her.
"But Severus understands," Hermione finally continued, her voice weak and near to the breaking point. "He has been there, has done all those things, and still he is a person I can respect and admire. He has been to the depths of hell and has returned. He is my strength, Harry, the one person who can remind me again and again what I am doing this for, that it is necessary. And he is my only hope, my one light in the darkness. My only lifeline."
Something in her words made him whirl around to her, and when he finally met her face, he knew what had alerted him. There was a look in Hermione's eyes he had never seen before, a silent determination and burning longing that frightened him and tore at his soul at the same time.
"You love him," He whispered, realization hitting him like a bucketful of cold water.
As if he had slapped her, Hermione stumbled back, nearly losing her footing and collapsing onto the hard earth
"I don't know what you mean…," She stammered, and for the blink of an eye, her perfect mask slipped and revealed a face so frightened and full of panic that he wanted to take the words back. But they had lied to each other too long.
"You love Snape, Hermione. More than you have ever loved someone. I can see it in your face."
"No, Harry!" She cried, and now her voice did break. "I have no idea what you are talking about, this is ridiculous! Snape is my mentor, nothing more…"
For one moment, she was the child-Hermione once more, the girl that had hidden in the bathroom because she had felt all alone in the world, the girl that had screamed for his help when a full grown mountain troll attacked her.
One moment was enough to bridge the distance and fold her into his arms. "It's all right, Hermione," He whispered as he held her close. "You don't have to justify yourself. You don't have to say a thing. I can accept it… I can accept it well enough. Pshhh, don't cry."
And if there had been another observer hidden behind a tree, he could have seen the formidable Master Spy of the Order clinging to the second man this day, once more sobbing her heart out. He could have seen green eyes, determined and lined with worry, watching the trees to keep her safe. No harm would ever come to her in his arms.
xXx
A/N: Right, hoped you all liked this! Tell me about it...
Two little things before you can click the review button: I'm going to update "Had I Known" real soon now, sometime over the next two days. Within the same time, I will post a preview for the next "Lioness" chapter in the future-thread of my forum, so check it out!
Oh, and to all of you who'd like to discuss my story in any possible length: I have created forums to do just that, and I will do my best to answer any question you may have. Just click the link on my profile page!