Sorry for lack of updates but I'm at the end of this quarter at school and I've got a lot of stuff going on right now. Also, I will be out of town for a majority of next week for my job so that will put me behind on writing. Unfortunately I hit a bit of a writer's block so I do not have multiple chapters prewritten so that I can update more often. Hopefully I'll be able to update sometime next week, but I can't make any promises.
Thank you for being patient and I hope I'll be back to my normal posting speed soon!
Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites!
"So you finally told your mom?" Xavier asked, looking at Yuukio. Hikaru and Kaoru were off at the food court, still debating on what to eat. Xavier and Yuukio both picked smoothies, neither wanting something heavy, and were already sitting down.
"Yes. I just told her that your mom suggested this wonderful manager that she trusted and that I think it was for the best because she needs to focus in on my sister more and giving her more attention." Yuukio messed with her straw as she told him, a weight having been lifted off her shoulder. "Plus, your mom called my mom and I think that's what really got her to decide to hand over the reins. I think our relationship has improved too. It's better that she's just my mom, not my manager too." She owed Xavier big time for talking to his mom about recommending managers for Yuukio.
"Good. Glad I was able to assist you." Xavier nodded his head. "You look much happier."
"I am. It's a huge relief to me, you know? She can focus on my sister and make sure she stays out of trouble, and I don't fight with her nearly as much now. I think it helped my family more than I originally thought it would." Yuukio smiled when she glanced over to the twins, who looked like they were settling for pizza. "My mind isn't so cluttered with anxiety about it anymore."
"I bet your mind is all cluttered with thoughts about Kaoru now, yeah?" Xavier chuckled when Yuukio's face went pink. "Ah ah, I knew it. Why don't you just make a move on him then?" Both Kaoru and Yuukio had taken his advice and eased further into their friendship and didn't rush anything. "You're in a better spot than you were months ago."
"I know….but….Hikaru. I don't want to intrude, you know?" She questioned and Xavier understood. "I want Hikaru to be okay with it first. Kaoru is his person. I was worried that he would be angry with how much time I was spending with Kaoru, but you helped greatly in that area."
"Hm?" Xavier questioned, biting on his straw.
"You two became so close and it helped a lot. Hikaru needed another friend, because he already spends most of his day with Haruhi and so after school, she wants space, and he doesn't hang out with the other club members much unless they go out in a group, so he would stick to Kaoru. Now though, he spends a lot of time with you. It gives Kaoru and I a day or two or even three to spend some time alone when I have the time. You help Hikaru spilt his time up and I think you've taught him a lot."
"You think he still likes dove, right?" Xavier asked, happy to know that he was able to help Yuukio, but he wanted to make sure he wasn't over stepping.
"I think so. He still gives her that fond look and he spent a lot of time with her last week. Why? Do you think otherwise?" Yuukio asked, looking at him seriously.
It was times like these Xavier wished he could tell Yuukio the truth. He could talk to Vinny about it, but he knew Vinny would tell him it was best to stop the friends with benefits and just be friends with Hikaru. He knew he should stop it, but he knew just as well that that was highly impossible.
He was in an odd position, and while it was like it was with Tiffany, it was entirely different. He was unsure what to do or even what he felt.
"Ah, no, I just wanted to make sure he was still into dove."
"Oh, well, I believe he is." Yuukio added, sipping more of her smoothie as the two entered a comfortable silence.
"Also….you can go back to being friends with Renge." Xavier mentioned, getting the model's attention once more. "I appreciate you and Mona taking my side, but it's getting awkward in the house."
"Renge is the one that decided she didn't want to sit with us in the club anymore….but I'll speak to her. You know how over dramatic she can be."
"You finally out of your funk?" Haruhi questioned Hikaru as they walked to the library together Monday afternoon. She had noticed Hikaru's horrible mood the second it started and she was thankful it was over.
"I wasn't in a funk." He mumbled but the look Haruhi shot him let him know she knew he was lying. "Maybe I was in a funk because you didn't want to hang out with me?" He questioned even though he knew it wasn't the truth.
"Hey, we did hang out a few times last week." She defended herself as he held the library door open for her. "It wasn't my fault I had to do errands while we hung out. You always seem to pick the days when there's sales going on around town."
"I can't plan the days I want to hang out around sales." He told her with an eye roll. He had spent more time with her because Xavier was unavailable. He didn't realize when it had become like that, because it used to be that he'd only hang out with Xavier when Haruhi was unavailable.
He felt himself smile when he saw Xavier sitting at their normal table, legs stretched out under the table, pen in his hand as he stared at a notebook, thinking deeply.
"Hey." Haruhi greeted when they made it over to the table, taking their usual seats. "Hey?" She repeated when she got no response from Xavier.
"Oh, hey dove, sorry." He seemed to hear her the second time, taking his eyes off the page for a split second to look at her, then to Hikaru, before looking back down at the paper. "In the middle of a stroke of creativeness." He jotted something down, crossed something out, and then wrote something else.
"What are you writing?" Hikaru asked, raising his eyebrows and looking at the page of scribbles.
"A song. Slightly." Xavier tapped the pen against the notebook, racking his brain for the right words. "It sort of just hits me sometimes and I try not to ever let ideas go because I never know when I'll get another or how I'll feel when I get it."
"How you'll feel?" Haruhi asked, pulling out her own notebook to work on some homework.
"Eh, yeah. Sometimes I'll get in these…moods….you both have witnessed them." He didn't look up as he doodled a cat in the corner of the page, trying to keep the pen moving and his brain thinking. "There was a month I didn't even pick up my guitar. I would stare at it for hours but the motivation never came." He admitted, slowing the movements of his pen down. "Finally, one day, I picked it up and started again and I've tried real hard to never set it down again. That month was very blank and it is something I'd like to forgot, but I know I never will."
The other two stayed silent, both watching him as he opened up.
"Motivation is something that I tend to lose a lot but I've gotten used to it. I force myself to do a lot of things because I need to, even if mentally I'm feeling incapable of doing them. I force myself to eat and to shower and to pick up the guitar and to talk to people and to open up my windows. Some days are better than others, some days I'd rather forget." He continued, pausing for a brief moment before writing something down sloppily. "It's not so bad now, but I know I've got a really long way to go before I'm okay again."
"I think you're doing really well." Hikaru said, not expecting Xavier to look up at him, a small smile forming on his lips. It made Hikaru's stomach flip and he tried not to blush.
"Thanks, mate." He replied before looking back to his notebook. "Recovery is just….really terrifying when you don't know who you are without your sadness." He messed with his pen, staring at it intently, then flipped to a new page and began jotting things down.
It was Tuesday in the club when Renge finally rejoined Monique and Yuukio at their table. The trio pretended like nothing had happened in the first place and that Renge hadn't been ignoring them for the entire week.
"Girls are strange creatures." Kaoru mumbled and Hikaru nodded his head, agreeing. He didn't think he could forgive Renge what she had done, but maybe Monique and Yuukio were just more forgiving than he was? "It's good Yuukio has decided to let it go. It's healthier that way. I'm glad she helped Monique and Xavier get to a better place too. I think she's doing really well."
"Probably because you two spend so much time together." Hikaru replied, smirking as a light blush spread across his brother's face. He wanted to tease him, but something in him stopped him. "You know…I really like Yuukio." His expression softened and he patted Kaoru's shoulder. "If you want to date her, you know that I'll be happy for you two, right?" He questioned, wanting Kaoru to know he was okay with it. He knew his brother better than anyone, and he knew that he was holding out on expressing his true feelings to Yuukio because he was worried about how Hikaru would feel about it.
"Thank you." Kaoru smiled back at him, cheeks still red from embarrassment. The door to the club opened at this moment and Hikaru figured it was Xavier, who was late.
"Oh….Jackie?" Haruhi questioned, eyes landing on the woman who was looking around, a little lost. Why was Xavier's mother here? Jackie took notice of Haruhi and hurried over to her, her heels clacking on the floor and her curls bouncing.
"Haruhi, you are as cute as a flower in your uniform!" She cheered, giving her a tight hug and a wink. "Surprised?"
"Very." Haruhi said now as the others in the club watched them with puzzled expressions. Jackal soon came into the room, walking over to his sister. "What are you two doing here?"
"To visit the knucklehead." Jackal replied, shaking Haruhi's hand. "Akio got to visit him, so I think it's fair that we get to visit him too, yeah?"
"Hello!" Tamaki interrupted, starting into his introduction. Jackie was pleased with it while Jackal looked less than amused. They were seated with Haruhi, since she had no guests at the moment and she was the only one they really knew.
"Should I say hello to Renge?" Jackie mumbled, looking at her tea after Haruhi poured it. "Would that be polite? She is still family, no?"
"Eh." Jackal crossed his arms as Haruhi took her seat across from him. "I'd do it later. She isn't family anymore and it's not like she was before anyway. Xavier never really liked her. I didn't either." Jackie shot him a look as to scold him for saying such things and sipped her tea.
"I hope my little blue bird doesn't mind our visit. I just miss him so much."
"He'll deal with it." Jackal looked to the doors. "Where is he?"
"He said he had to go call Vinny about something." Hikaru said as he approached the table with a treat cart. He wanted a better introduction than just Tamaki saying his name and pointing at him.
"You're Yuzuha's son, right?" Jackie questioned with a bright smile. Hikaru could seem the similarities between her and Xavier. He had more of a personality like his uncle's and a little of his dad's, but he clearly got this side of the family's looks. Xavier's smile was just like his mother's and he had her hair and eye color. He got his uncle's jaw and cheek bones, and that sort of mischievous laid back attitude. "Hikaru, right? Oh wow, you look so grown up and handsome!"
"Thank you, ma'am." He beamed, liking her already. "That's me. Kaoru is over there with his guests."
"You two have grown up since the last time I've seen you. I'll have to visit your mother while I'm here! She's always so much fun." She continued. "Oh, you're best friends with Xavier, too, no? He spoke very fondly of you when he visited for Christmas."
"He did?" Hikaru asked, happily surprised by that information. The doors opened again and Xavier entered, the smell of smoke and the cold of the outside clinging to him. He put his things away before coming out of the closet and stopping when he finally noticed his mother and uncle.
"There's my little blue bird!" Jackie exclaimed and stood, hurrying over to him with open arms. He accepted her hug and hugged her back tightly with a smile plastered on his face.
"What are you two doing here?" He questioned, surprised and delighted. Hikaru couldn't help but watch as his face lit up, eyes wide in surprise.
"We just wanted to visit you at school and meet your friends." She took his hand and pulled him over to their table. He and Jackal shook hands and exchanged smiles. "It's so lovely here and your club mates are very friendly."
"Little too friendly sometimes." Xavier muttered and Hikaru elbowed him before going back over to Kaoru. Xavier smirked after him before turning back to his family and Haruhi. "So you decided to take dove as your host?"
"You weren't here." Jackal told him. "And I like Haruhi…..he's very good at conversation."
"Ah, dove's good at a lot of things." Xavier shrugged, glancing to Misaki and Abby.
"Go entertain your guests! We'll go out for dinner and we can talk more then!" Jackie shooed him over to his guests, watching him carefully.
"How long is your mom and uncle going to be here?" Hikaru asked, this time walking with Xavier to the library. He really liked Xavier's mom and uncle a lot. Sure it meant he probably wouldn't get to spend time with Xavier outside of school, but he was okay with that knowing Xavier was with them.
"I think she said they were leaving on Sunday." Xavier told him. "She's happy to just sit in the club and watch me and Jackal has been suggesting plans for after I graduate. It's always nice having them around."
"I like them." Hikaru told him as they entered the library together. "Your mother is really beautiful."
"Yeah, ain't she?" Xavier questioned, agreeing. "I'm lucky to even resemble her. She's one of those people that's beautiful inside and out. I don't know what she saw in my dad."
"I don't either." Hikaru muttered, not seeing why someone like her used to be married to someone like Xavier's dad. Hikaru was prepared to head to the table, but Xavier's hand on the small of his back guided him away from the direction of the table and that was all the direction Hikaru needed.
He turned down a deserted book aisle, excited to feel Xavier. They barely did anything all weekend, which was fine by him since they had so much fun, but he enjoyed the touches too. They headed to the back and they tossed their bags down before Xavier pressed Hikaru against the wall.
Xavier knew he shouldn't be encouraging this but he was starting to get a 'fuck it' attitude towards it. He was going to be fine and Hikaru still liked Haruhi, so he brushed off his worries as he leaned down and kissed Hikaru.