Dragon Ball NG Chapter 37: Screw the Fourth Wall

Gosu stepped inside the lab. He had no idea what to expect. Dr. Miro walked around and Gosu just followed him wherever he went.

"You are quite the crafty young man. You sure have managed to give the Black Tie Army trouble." Dr. Miro said. "Making that robotic clone of you was quite the undertaking."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's just get this over with so I can pound you to a pulp." Gosu replied.

"My, my, you're very impatient." Dr. Miro remarked. "Come, right this way…"

Dr. Miro and Gosu walked over to a wide window and looked into the room. It was a large area that looked like an arena and there were two strange looking monsters in there. One was blue and had one eye, while the other was red and almost looked like a gargoyle. It also had what looked to be lion's hair.

"Whoa, what the fuck are those things?" Gosu asked.

"They're bio-warriors. A true gift of genetic engineering!" Dr. Miro said.

"Can you say that in English?" Gosu sarcastically replied.

"They are composed of samples of actual humans. Using technology, I was able to modify these DNA samples to extreme degrees. They don't look very pleasant, unfortunately, which is why I had to resort to making an Android from your data." Dr. Miro explained.

"Okay. So can I beat the shit out these guys, now?" Gosu asked.

"Don't be so hasty! Just enjoy the show…" Dr. Miro replied.

"Oh, so they're gonna fight?" Gosu asked.

They Cyclops looking monster got in a crouching position while the gargoyle-like monster let out a loud roar. The Cyclops jumped at the gargoyle and tried to grab him, but the gargoyle aggressively tossed him off of him. He ran at the Cyclops and threw a punch at him, although he grabbed his arm. However, the Gargoyle responded by biting his arm off!

Gosu winced at the level of violence. "Damn, these guys are no joke!"

"Just keep watching!" Dr. Miro replied.

The Cyclops wasn't completely out of this fight, however. He managed to grow a new arm! The gargoyle jumped at him, though, and managed to kick him into a wall. Then, he unleashed a huge wave of fire from his mouth! The Cyclops managed to dodge it. The Cyclops wrapped its legs around the gargoyle's head and attempted to toss him into the wall. The gargoyle countered by powerbombing him! Then, he sat on top of the Cyclops and started aggressively punching him in the face! He even bit off what looked to be a tooth! The Cyclops managed to let out a huge roar to blow the gargoyle off of him, though. He jumped in the air once again wrapped his legs around the gargoyle's, head, and then used them to help him sit on top of the head. Then, he started biting off chunks of the gargoyle's head! The gargoyle gauged his eye out to get him, off of him, however. They both jumped down to the ground, and then the gargoyle stabbed the Cyclops in the stomach with his arm! However, the Cyclops gave him a hard punch to the face, and then ripped the gargoyle's arm off to give him a taste of his own medicine! To add insult to injury, he started beating him around with it! He kicked the gargoyle away and then finally, he stretched his arm out, and shoved it down the gargoyle's throat, and in brutal fashion, ripped his entire skeleton out through his mouth!

"That's fucking insane!" Gosu exclaimed in total shock and awe.

"Incredible, isn't it?" Dr. Miro replied, laughing.

"I have to fight him, don't I?" Gosu asked.

"Correct." Dr. Miro answered.

Gosu gulped. Dr. Miro opened the door.

"Good luck!"

Gosu walked through the door and downstairs into the arena, where the Cyclops was feasting upon his opponent's corpse. Gosu figured that if he didn't want to end up like that thing, he was gonna have to man up.

"Hey, you!" Gosu exclaimed.

The Cyclops turned his attention to Gosu.

"Bring it on!" Gosu challenged, making the hand motion.

The Cyclops roared and jumped at Gosu. He tried to grab him, but Gosu jumped out the way and kicked him in the face. Then, he fired a bunch of Ki blasts at him. The monster managed to get back up almost unscathed. He stretched his arm out and tried to grab Gosu, but Gosu jumped back. Then, the monster shoved its foot into the ground. He stretched it out underground and it popped up beneath Gosu and kicked him straight in the chin. With Gosu in the air, the Cyclops once again stretched his arm out and successfully grabbed Gosu. He opened his mouth and pulled Gosu toward him. He obviously had the intention of eating him. Gosu frantically loosened his grip and then blasted the Cyclops in the face! He let go of Gosu, so he dropped down to the ground and gave the Cyclops a fierce kick to the stomach, sending him crashing into the wall! Gosu let out a sigh of relief, although he knew the battle wasn't over yet.

"Ah yes, this kid certainly is a capable fighter…" Dr. Miro said.

The Cyclops emerged from the rubble and leaped at Gosu again. He punched him in the face and once again tried to eat him. Gosu managed to blast one of his teeth out, however, and then punched him several times in the face. Gosu grabbed the gargoyle's leftover arm and hit him in the head with it. He hit him a couple more times with it and then kicked him the air. He tossed the arm like a javelin at him, but the Cyclops grabbed the arm and ate it in a disgusting fashion! Gosu once again winced, but sucked it up and flew after him. He gave him a tornado kick to send him to the ground. However, before he hit the floor, Gosu grabbed him tossed him high up, almost to the ceiling. Gosu jumped down to the ground, curled up into a ball, and then launched the Pinball Attack. He landed the attack, which had even more impact since they were both pretty much colliding with each other. He then homed at him, but he grabbed Gosu and then grabbed him like a basketball and damn near dunked him into the ground. Gosu managed to slowly get back up, although he was dizzy.

"Man, this thing is insane. This guy just sits in here making crazy ass shit like this?" Gosu said.

Meanwhile, Retasu and the others were still standing outside the lab.

"So what should we do now? Wait for Gosu to come out?" Junsei asked.

"You guys can do that, but I'm leaving." Retasu said.

"But where will you go?" Chitsu asked.

"Normally I'd tell you to shut up and mind your business, but since you actually have a brain I suppose I'll tell you. I'm going to train for a couple of more days and go after the Black Tie Army directly." Retasu said.

"Do you even know where the HQ is?" Chitsu asked.

"I'm sure Son is going to go after them eventually as well. He has that little Dragon Ball locater thing, right? I'll just follow his Ki there." Retasu said. He flew off after that explanation.

"Gosh, he's so anti-social…" Chitsu said.

"Why do you care? Just let that asshole go." Kansho said.

"I'm just saying…" Chitsu replied.

"I agree with Retasu actually – I don't feel like sitting here waiting for him." Junsei said.

"But what if he needs our help?" Chitsu asked.

"Oh, don't worry about him. He'll be fine. Let's get out of here." Junsei said.

Chitsu got back into the plane and they all flew away.

Gosu's fight with the Cyclops raged on. The Cyclops made repeated attempts to eat Gosu, which he was starting to get sick of. Luckily, Gosu's smaller size allowed him to easily escape his attacks. The Cyclops threw punches at Gosu, which he dodged. But then, the Cyclops stretched his arms out and grabbed Gosu by the feet. Then he slammed him onto the floor. He tried to pull Gosu toward him, but Gosu gave him a hard headbutt. Then, Gosu bit both of his arms to break away from his hold. However, the taste was disgusting, and he had to wipe his tongue several times to get it off. The Cyclops jumped on Gosu's back while he was busy, which almost gave him a heart attack. Gosu fired a blast at his face to get him off of him. Then, he cuffed his hands together and gathered his Ki.

"Ka…Me…Ha…Me…HA!"

Gosu fired the Kamehameha wave at the Cyclops…but he ate it! The Cyclops was now glowing with a blue aura around it. All of a sudden, he bulked up considerably and charged at Gosu with incredible speed. Then, he rammed Gosu into the wall. Before Gosu even had a chance to counter, the beast started landing absolutely brutal punches on him, which continually pressed Gosu against the wall. Then, he jumped back, and tackled Gosu once again, causing him to crash through the wall! An overwhelmed Gosu managed to get back up from the rubble, but then the Cyclops once again stretched his arm out and punched Gosu! He went for another punch, but Gosu actually managed to grab his arm. The Cyclops responded by retracting his arm. However, Gosu had a plan of his own and used the forward momentum to knee him in the jaw hard. He kicked the Cyclops in the face and fired more Ki blasts at him. However, the Cyclops once again ate the blasts, increasing his size once more.

"My, I never counted on the Cyclops actually eating the blast. Perhaps I should look more into this…" Dr. Miro said.

The Cyclops used the new energy to fire a massive mouth blast at Gosu. Gosu managed to grab the blast and tried to hold it in place. The blast pushed Gosu into the wall, but he was going to all of his power to prevent it from actually hitting him. Gosu put some more of his Ki into the attack and managed to repel it! The blast hit the Cyclops head on! When the smoke cleared, the Cyclops was missing a leg. Gosu used this as an opportunity to take the monster out. He warped behind the monster and kicked him in the back. Then, he fired more Ki blasts at him, which actually managed to hurt him. He fired more blasts at him, and then finished it off with a…

"KA…ME…HA…ME…HAAAAAA!"

Gosu fired the huge blast at the beast, causing a huge explosion! When the smoke cleared, the Cyclops was nowhere to be found. The only trace of him left was blue residue.

"Phew, at least that's over. Now it's time to take care of that Doctor." Gosu said.

"Dammit! This kid is too strong! I'm going to have to unleash him now!" Dr. Miro said. He pressed a button that caused a loud siren to go off in the arena.

"What the hell was that for?" Gosu asked.

A door at the top of the arena opened. From it came an anthropomorphic Tiger that was dressed in a military-like outfit and shades. He looked to be about 10 feet tall.

"Ho~ly shit..." Gosu said in amazement.

"Meet Sgt. Tiger! This is as far as it goes for you!" Dr. Miro yelled.

Sgt. Tiger marched his way down to the floor. He was even bigger in person. His size was more than enough to make Gosu sweat pools. The tiger lifted his arm up and pointed it at Gosu. Then, his arm turned into a gun. A BIG. FUCKING. GUN. Gosu damn near shat himself as the gun gathered power. Gosu was too scared to even move. Sgt. Tiger fired a massive blast from his gun, which was enough to get Gosu out of his frozen state and jump out of the way. The gun created a huge hole in the floor. Gosu looked down at the hole and it almost looked bottomless.

"Holy hell…this thing means business!" Gosu said.

As soon as Gosu finished that statement, Tiger tried to stomp on him! Gosu managed to block his foot from crushing him, although it took all he had to keep his foot from crushing him. Gosu let go of his foot and jumped back. Sgt. Tiger's foot hit the floor, leaving a huge imprint in him. The mere thought of what those last two attacks would have done to him left Gosu a big bag of fear. The Tiger lifted his arms (well, really, arm and BIG FUCKING GUN) up and smashed them down to the ground. Gosu jumped out of the way, but the mere impact was enough to send Gosu flying in the air. With him vulnerable, Sgt. Tiger punched Gosu with his massive fist, which sent Gosu crashing down to the floor. He could barely even stand. Gosu weakly got back up and looked at the beast that was standing before him. How was he ever going to beat this thing?

"I would just give up if I were you!" Dr. Miro said through the intercom.

Gosu jumped up at him, but the monster swiped him away like a fly. Gosu kept flying, though, and managed to get in his face. He was pretty sure this thing didn't know what rock-paper-scissors was, so he just directly poked him the eye. Then, Gosu punched him hard in the stomach and actually managed to kick him in the air! However, Sgt. Tiger managed to regain control of himself in mid-air, and came crashing down to the floor. He grabbed Gosu by the leg, punched him, and then slammed him into the ground. Then he tossed him into a wall! Gosu got up, and then Sgt. Tiger fired another huge blast at him! Gosu once again dodged it, allowing it to blast a massive hole in the wall. The tiger went for another blast, but Gosu jumped out of the way and fired Kamehameha to repel it. Sgt. Tiger charged up for another blast, and it was here where Gosu came up with a plan. He dodged the next blast and then challenged the mutant Tiger.

"Hit me with your strongest blast possible!" Gosu said.

The Tiger complied. He lifted his arm/Big Fucking Gun up and charged up all of its power. With the hole in his arm exposed, Gosu fired a blast of his own. He shot a Kamehameha wave directly into the gun opening, which was enough to blow up Sgt. Tiger's arm! With the Tiger very weak, Gosu jumped up and kicked him hard in the head, which was enough to break his neck! The now dead Tiger hit the floor, leaving a huge impact. Gosu let out a sigh of relief and looked up at the window at Dr. Miro. Dr. Miro squealed in fear as Gosu flew up to the window and kicked it down.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me!" Gosu said.

"N-no!" Dr. Miro kicked a door down and grabbed a huge mech.

"You guys could be a little more creative, you know." Gosu remarked.

Miro commandeered the mech and charged the laser.

"DIE!"

He fired a laser blast at Gosu, which was child's play compared to Sgt. Tiger's. Gosu kicked the mech into a door.

"Oh come on, let's just get this over with! You're not tough at all – you're a complete bitch! Nothing but a lowly scientist!" Gosu said.

"What did you say?" Dr. Miro asked.

"You heard me! You don't have any balls at all!" Gosu said.

"Oh, really? Well allow me to prove you wrong!" Dr. Miro turned to a wall that had the number 4 written on it. He blasted it into pieces. When the smoke cleared, it revealed a black guy in his dorm room typing on his laptop…wait a minute, that's no random person, that's…ME! What the fuck is going on? Dr. Miro suddenly grabbed me from my laptop ! Oh shit, he's holding me hostage!

C'mon man, if you kill me, then this story is over!

"I don't care!" He replied. "I'm willing to do anything to prove Gosu wrong, if it means wiping this universe from existence! Gosu, if you make one move, I'll kill him!"

"Well, that wouldn't be too bad…"

WHAT?

"After all, this whole story is derivative as hell! I'm just an excuse for you to have a character like Yusuke Urameshi being the protagonist of Dragon Ball!" Gosu said.

Oh, come on, it's just harmless fan fiction! Think about it – if you attack, then this whole thing won't even matter because this fanfic will be incomplete – nobody will even know what happens after this!

"Good point. But you know I'll come up with a creative way to get you out of this!"

But how?

"Alright, Miro, shoot me!" Gosu challenged. Dr. Miro fired a blast at Gosu, but it went through him! Ah, the after-image technique! Gosu appeared behind Dr. Miro and kicked one of the mech's arms off, rescuing me from his grip! Then, he fired a Kamehameha at the mech, blowing it to pieces! There wasn't a trace of Dr. Miro left. Thanks, Gosu!

"So, uh, how are we gonna get you back to your world? The fourth wall is kinda destroyed."

Well, I'm the author! I'll just pull some random location of cement and bricks out of my ass. Go look in the closet!

Gosu opened the closet and found the bricks and cement. After a few minutes, the two of us finished up the new fourth wall! Thanks again, Gosu!

"No problem, man."

I walked behind the wall and once again resumed the role of lowly author. Oh, and since I'm the author, I erased that little encounter from Gosu's memory, so all he knows is that he defeated Dr. Miro.

"Alright, that mess is over. Now it's time for me to go after the next Dragon Ball!" Gosu yelled. He blasted a hole in the ceiling and flew off.

Gosu now tries to find the next Dragon Ball in his search. Who will the Black Tie Army send after him to thwart his search this time? Find out on the next chapter of Dragon Ball NG!