Hey guys, tried to get a quicker update out this time...not hard to be quicker than 10 months, I guess. Quick question: Am I the only one who thinks its kind've gross that somebody sold the rights of a RENT song to freaking Macy's? Is it just me, or is that kind've really ironic?
So okay, a note about Marshall: It was brought to my attention that his ethnicity changes, so I went back and realized that he is first stated to be Argentinean, then Venezuelan, then back to Argentinean lol. I have no clue how that happened...he was never meant to be anything but Argentinean, so I must've just not been thinking for the Venezuelan part. I changed it, but did it the hard way, rather than just replace the chapter...so I apologize if the chapters were mixed up for anyone. I fixed it all, but I know sometimes it takes a while for changes to show up.
Also, in response to a reviewer: Yep, there's lots of things Mark could've shot up. But I had Roger immediately jump to heroin, just because he has such a history with it and would likely assume H before anything else.
Disclaimer: I do not own RENT or any characters therein. I do own my OCs...and not much else.
WARNING: This chapter pushes the limits of the M Rating...it might just be a flat out NC-17. So be warned, there is a rather graphic sex scene below. I will place bolded ** before the scene gets graphic and after the scene ends, so that if you'd prefer to just skip over the smut, you can easily do so.
Also, this is one of my first smut scenes...ever. So not sure how it turned out...
Much thanks to my beta: Ms. Mimi Elphie-Amy Shadeslayer
Contemplations and First Times
Still shaking with anger, Mark tromped down the street. He was still wired from earlier, but he was so unsettled he wanted another hit. He could not believe Roger. For months he had ignored Mark, treated him like crap, and started fights for no reason. For weeks Mark had been staying out late, leaving without telling him, and been withdrawn from his roommate, and Roger hadn't even batted an eye.
So now, suddenly that he finds out I've been taking H, he's going to pretend to care about me? Well, too goddamn late, Roger...what am I thinking? Roger doesn't care. There's no way that scream fest was out of concern... If he cared about me he wouldn't have treated me like shit for so long...he would've tried to make things right, like they were before Mimi died...he wouldn't have shut me out.
Mark's fingers twitched and he tugged at his shirt, irritated. Fuck, I need something...I need a cigarette or something. Mark passed by a gas station but stubbornly kept walking. He used to smoke when he was younger. He'd quit shortly after coming to New York, not having the money to support the habit, and then started up again after April had died and Roger had been going through withdrawal. He had quit for good when Roger got a little better and they began running short on money.
Nope, don't need a cig...might want another hit though. God, what the hell is Roger's problem? He wouldn't have acted like this if he cared...he would've been supportive or tried to talk to me about stopping or...something... Fuck this, he doesn't care. He's just using this as another excuse to scream at me...to pick fights with me. That's all it is...well, fuck him. I'll never know what I did to make him hate me so much.
He paused in his thoughts. God, I can't believe I yelled at Roger that way...screamed at him even...Fuck, I pushed him!
He had never done that before; not out of anger. Part of him felt something at that, like guilt, almost. Then he smiled. On the other hand, it had felt good, yelling at him like that.
He doesn't give a fuck about me anyways.
With that thought, Mark found himself at Marshall's door. He knocked on the door and, after a moment, it swung open.
"Mark? What are you doing here? I thought you went home." Marshall asked, moving to let Mark in. Mark shrugged, scratching at his arm nervously.
"I did…I got into another fight with Roger…" he looked up at Marshall. "He found out."
Marshall wrapped a comforting arm around Mark's shoulders. "I'm guessing he got pretty mad."
Mark nodded, remembering Roger's anger. "Yeah, I don't know why, though. He hasn't cared about me at all in months. He has no right to get involved in my life anymore."
Marshall agreed. "He was probably just surprised, and upset because he assumes you're an addict. He was one, before, didn't you say?"
Mark nodded again. "Yeah, he was really bad though. He got out of control; it became his whole life… But I'm not like that. We have control, right?" He looked up at Marshall, who grinned.
"Of course we do, baby. We're not addicts, we just like to have some fun every once in a while. Some people just have no will power. He doesn't understand it because he had such a bad experience with it. Your case is different." He assured him with a soft kiss.
Mark grinned, leaning into Marshall. "Damn right, its different."
Marshall leaned down and kissed Mark's brow, letting his hand slide down so it wrapped around Mark's waist. Mark looked up at him and they met in a deep kiss, Marshall's hands drifting over Mark's body slowly. Wrapping his arms around Mark, Marshall led him to the couch, pulling him down beside him so close that Mark was partially sitting on Marshall.
Marshall started kissing Mark again, his hot mouth traveling down Mark's neck, sucking at a spot right above his collar bone. Mark pulled at Marshall's neck, mumbling something that sounded like, 'I don't like hickeys, Marsh.' Complying, Marshall retreated from Mark's neck, kissing him again. Mark deepened it, refusing to break apart even when he started running out of air. I have got to learn how to kiss and breathe through my nose at the same time.
Finally, Marshall ripped his mouth away, panting as he leaned his forehead against Mark's. "Hey Mark?" he asked quietly.
Mark kissed him in response, humming a soft, 'hmm?' against his lips.
"Can we-I mean, would you like to-do you want to-" he asked between Mark's kisses.
Mark stopped for a second, "Do I want to do what?" he asked, kissing Marshall again.
"Would you like to…have-sex?"
Mark stopped kissing him, pulling back an inch. ""Haven't we done that already?" he asked after a moment.
Marshall blushed, and Mark had to grin at the cute image. "Well, yeah...we've done stuff...but I mean like...sex-sex...Babes, I wanna be inside you."
Mark felt his face flush as he realized what the photographer meant. "Oh! That..."
Marshall grinned, sliding his hand up Mark's shirt as he started kissing down Mark's neck.
"Is Reye home?" Mark suddenly asked.
Marshall glanced off down her hallway. "She's sleeping...and if she isn't, she'll know you're here so she won't bother us." Marshall assured him. "Babes, if you're not ready yet, we can wait for that." He nipped at his collarbone playfully. "Besides, there's plenty more I can do to you."
Mark was silent for another moment before looking at Marshall; Marshall who cared for him, held him, who sometimes kissed him so gently it was like he was afraid Mark would break, and other times kissed him with so much passion Mark was sure he'd combust. Marshall who treated him good...
He treats me a hell of a lot better than Roger does...cares for me more than Roger ever will...he may even, possibly someday, love me...
With a swift kiss to his lips, Mark murmured, "I want you...but we should move to your room for this, don't you think?" he added with a mischievous smirk.
Marshall's eyes darkened in lust. "Hell yeah, Babes."
Pulling Mark up, Marshall slid his arms around his body, maintaining their kiss even as he manovered him over to his door. Mark began sucking on his earlobe and Marshall moaned, low in his throat.
"Babes, how am I supposed to get the door open with you doing ah...oh fuck."
"Just get it open!" Mark growled, practically falling in as Marshall finally pushed them through the door, shutting it quickly behind them.
****** GRAPHIC LINE ********
Still kissing, their hands roaming over each other, they tumbled down onto the bed.
"Ow!" Mark cried out, then he laughed.
"What happened?" Marshall asked, concerned.
"You elbowed me!" Mark giggled, gesturing to his side.
"I'm sorry, Babes...lemme kiss it better." he murmured, pulling Mark's shirt off as he slid his mouth down over his side.
Mark's fingers tightened in the photographer's hair, head falling back and breathing harshly as Marshall coated his chest and stomach with bites, licks, and nips. Sliding down his body to suck at his hipbone, Marshall began sliding Mark's corduroys down.
"No fair." Mark teased, pawing at Marshall's shirt. The photographer grinned cheekily, leaning back to pull his tee off and exposing his tan muscles to Mark's greedy hands.
His fingers soon found their way to a dark brown nipple, tweaking it lightly before he leaned up and licked the hard nub. Marshall gasped, eyes suddenly black with hunger as he pinned Mark down against the mattress and deftly removed his pants entirely.
He slid his tongue into Mark's navel, pulling his boxers off at the same time, and loving the gasp Mark made. Licking a path down, Marshall lightly licked the tip of Mark's erection before disappearing.
"What? No!" Mark cried in frustration, hips beginning to thrust up into nothing.
Marshall chuckled, returning a second later with a small bottle in his hand. Mark's eyes widened comically at the sight, and Marshall chuckled again, leaning down to kiss Mark's inner thigh when,
"Fuck! Ow." Marshall cried in surprise, pulling back.
"What happened?"
Marshall suddenly started laughing. "Your, very lovely might I say, dick just stabbed me in the eye."
Mark flushed red for a moment before he, too, burst out laughing. "Holy fuck, I'm sorry!" he said between laughs.
Marshall suddenly grinned, pinning Mark's hips down. "Its fine, Babes...just fine." Mark's back arched slightly as hot, wet lips slid down his shaft.
Eyes closed, he revelled in the sensation when the sound of a cap popping off distracted him.
"Shh...just relax." Marshall murmured, pulling off to kiss his stomach comfortingly before going back to his task.
Mark suddenly felt a slick finger circling his entrance before dipping in lightly.
"You okay?"
Mark nodded. "Fine...keep at it."
Marshall wasn't sure if he meant to keep sucking him or keep stretching him, so he did both, sliding his finger all the way in.
Mark grimaced slightly. It didn't hurt, yet, but the sensation was odd. Marshall worked his finger in and out for a moment before Mark suddenly felt a second finger entering him.
Okay...that one burns a little. He tried to relax his body, keeping himself focused on the amazing things Marshall was currently doing with his tongue. He felt the fingers scissor and then a third came in. This time, Marshall had to pause for a second.
"Babes, just relax." he murmured, putting his effort into distracting Mark from the burning stretch in his ass by taking him in deeper in his mouth. Mark was soon gasping again, rocking against the fingers inside him. Marshall grinned around him, crooking his digits until he hit right there.
Mark's breath hitched as he gasped in pleasure, eyes whipping open. Marshall pulled off to laugh.
"Like that?" he teased, hitting the spot again.
"Oh, fuck yeah." Mark panted, feeling the bolts of pleasure race up his spine again. Marshall laughed again, languidly continuing to stretch Mark's opening before he pulled his fingers free.
"You ready for the next part?" Marshall whispered, leaning up to kiss Mark.
Mark nodded and leaned up on his elbows, watching Marshall pull his pants and boxers off and begin to coat his erection with lube when he realized something.
"Marsh...don't you have a condom?"
Marshall stopped his movements, frowning. "Oh...fuck. No...sorry, Babes, I don't have any. Its been a long time since I've done this with anyone, so haven't needed any." he paused, looking over at Mark. "Is it a big deal?"
Mark chewed his lip. He'd never had sex without one before...but God, he wanted Marshall so bad right now...but was that worth the risk?
"Yeah, it kind've is." Mark admitted.
Marshall nodded in understanding. "Okay...well, wait here, I'll go see if Reye has any." Climbing off the bed, Marshall hastily pulled on a pair of sweatpants and disappeared down the hall.
He returned a couple minutes later with an expression like his puppy died. "She doesn't have any, Babes." He leaned down, kissing Mark shortly. "Look, I'll be honest with you: I'm clean. I swear, I've been tested before." he paused. "But if its that important to you, I can run down to the drug store on the corner."
Mark frowned. "The drug store doesn't open til seven...its not even six yet."
"...Well, then the 7/11 a few blocks down..." he said thoughtfully.
Mark tried thinking for a moment, but then Marshall was sliding his tongue down his neck, his fingers finding their way back up inside him.
"I'll go if you want." Marshall muttered against his collar bone as his hand did wicked things to Mark's body, making the smaller man shudder and pant. "But Babes, if you're clean...and I'm clean...and its not like you'll get pregnant..." he teased, nipping at his earlobe.
Mark gasped. "Fuck it. I trust you...just fucking do it already."
Marshall laughed against his skin. He slid out of his sweatpants, reslicking himself. Kissing Mark again, he said, "It'll be easier for you, Babes, if you're on all fours."
Mark laughed. "Doggy style? Seriously?" But he turned over at Marshall's urging.
"Don't put it that way, cochino!" Marshall smiled, swatting his side lightly. Positioning himself on his knees behind him, he slowly began pushing into Mark.
Mark winced, his breath hitching. "Shh, Babes...its okay...just relax." Marshall murmured, slowling sliding in, inch by inch. He began rubbing Mark's sides softly, continuing to murmur platitudes until Mark's body began to accept him and he slid home.
Mark gasped at the new feeling of being full, but the burn was already beginning to fade as he focused on the dark noises Marshall made behind him.
Fully inside the smaller man, Marshall leaned forward, kissing the back of Mark's neck. "God, you're so tight, Babes. So good." he whispered heatedly against his nape. "You ready?"
Mark took a breath, nodding. Gripping his hips, Marshall began to slowly thrust, taking his time so Mark could fully adjust. When Mark began to lightly thrust back, Marshall moaned, angling himself to hit Mark's prostate just right.
He reached around, taking Mark's erection and pumping it in time to his thrusts. Mark's breathing became labored, eyes shut and the occassional gasp escaping from his throat as Marshall began to speed up.
Beautiful tension built in the pit of his stomach, exploding into tendrils of pleasure along his spine as Marshall continued to hit that spot. Finally, he came with a breathy whimper, spilling onto the sheets.
Marshall moaned in ecstasy as Mark's body clamped around him, thrusting a few more times before he came inside Mark with an indecent shout.
Sliding out from Mark, Marshall collapsed onto the bed, still panting. Pulling Mark over to him, he slid his arms around his waist and kissed his sweaty brow absently.
******* END of Graphicness ************
"That was fucking awesome." he murmured into Mark's damp locks.
Mark smiled in agreement, then shifted his legs slightly. "Ew." he cringed. Marshall looked down at him in confusion and Mark flushed. "I'm sticky." Mark explained softly.
Marshall laughed. Pulling away from Mark slightly, he found his discarded sweatpants and cleaned them up. "Ya know," he said casually, "I really thought you'd have been louder in bed. If it wasn't for your heavy breathing, I would've thought you'd fallen asleep." he teased slightly.
Mark blushed. "Yeah...I'm just not very vocal. Everyone I've had sex with, and by that I mean four people, has made that complaint. Well, except Nanette; she mainly complained that it was over in three minutes." Marshall laughed and Mark smacked him playfully. "Hey, I was sixteen! I was lucky I didn't come in my pants."
Marshall laughed again, tossing the sweatpants into the corner before pulling Mark back to him. "Its fine, Babes...My first time was when I was fourteen, with this girl named...Marisa, I think. She had the prettiest face, and although she was a little on the heavy side, she had the hips of a goddess... And I'm pretty sure it took me ten minutes to get it up and five minutes for it to be over." he chuckled. "Lots of guys would've been lucky to have her, and I was imagining River Phoenix. Pobrecita."
Mark laughed softly, letting himself be pulled against Marshall's chest before he fell asleep.
LINELINELINELINELINE
"You can stay here. Really, its fine." Reye promised him as she continued to look around the apartment for her nametag.
Mark frowned, shaking his head. "Nah, it'd be too weird with both you and Marshall off at work."
Reye shrugged. "Hell, ya might as well move in. I mean, with Roger being such a dick about the heroin thing, do you really want to go home?"
Mark shook his head, frowning. He'd told Reye all about the fight the night before, and she'd been sympathetic enough to suggest they both take a hit. It was beginning to wear off, now, and Reye had to get to work. Marshall had gone to some shoot a few hours earlier.
"I don't really want to go back...but I shouldn't just move in here." Mark answered slowly.
Reye shrugged, popping her gum as she attached her newly found nametag to her shirt. "I'm pretty sure Marshall would be good with it...actually, I'm positive he'd think it was a brilliant idea." she laughed.
Mark flushed. "Its not that...I don't really know if I'm ready to move in yet... I'll just play it by ear, I guess. I mean, I have to face Roger sometime anyways."
Reye nodded. "V. true, Sweettooth. So, what're you gonna with your day off today, then?" She asked, pulling her worn black Chucks over her hot pink tight-encased feet.
Mark thought a moment then smiled. "Actually, there's a couple people I've been meaning to see for a while. Mind if I use your phone?"
"Help yourself. Anyways, I gotta motor. Lock the door on your way out."
LINELINELINELINELINE
"Marky!"
Mark stumbled backwords as Maureen collided with him, arms wrapping around him in a hug so tight he could barely breathe.
"Hey Maureen." he gasped with a breathy laugh.
Joanne came up, taking Maureen's shoulder and peeling her off the filmmaker. "Honeybear, get off the poor boy. He needs to breathe." But she smiled warmly at Mark and gave him a quick hug. "Hello Mark. How've you been?" she asked as they found a seat.
"Oh, I've been good. Been working over at this little diner on Avenue B. Its shit work but it pays the bills...almost." he laughed.
"That's great, Mark. So is that what you've been spending all your time with, or is there another reason you disappeared for so long?" Maureen asked.
Mark shrugged. "Well...I am kind've seeing someone right now."
"That's great-" Joanne was suddenly cut off by Maureen's excited exclamation.
"Oh my God, Mark, really? Who is she? Do we know her?" she bubbled.
Mark blushed, chuckling nervously. "Well, you probably don't know him..."
Maureen gaped for a second, and Joanne's eyes widened but she quickly played it off.
"That's great, Mark. What's he-" she was interrupted again by an actual squeal from Maureen, who seemed to have just processed that information.
"Really, Mark? A guy?" she asked, grinning from ear to ear she began rambling. "Oh my god, you have to tell me everything! I can't believe you're gay now...though I guess that'd explain some things...Wow, but welcome to the club, Marky...We gotta get you a card-"
"Honey, I've told you a dozen times, there aren't any actual cards." Joanne interjected, sounding exasperated already, but Maureen kept going.
"So what's he like? Is he cute? ...No, of course he's cute. So I gotta ask, are you top or bottom? I'm thinking bottom...just cause when we were together, you were always a bit submissive...so how do you prefer to-"
"Maureen, be quiet! Let the boy talk!" Joanne had finally had enough.
Mark just laughed and laughed. He'd forgotten how crazy Maureen got when she was excited. Having never been able to tell anyone but those in Reye and Marshall's group about his relationship with Marshall, Mark suddenly found himself a little excited.
"Okay, his name is Marshall."
LINELINE
Mark laughed, taking Maureen's sketch of the new prop she wanted to build for her next performance. He'd forgotten how much he liked being around the girls. Maureen had pestered him for a million details about Marshall and he'd happily supplied his name, age, heritage, height, features, style, profession, and even a couple details about their relationship, although he'd stubbornly refused to give Maureen any details about his sex life. He'd also carefully left out any details about their parties or the little matter of heroin.
He'd also talked about Reye a little, but thankfully Maureen had been less interested in her so there were much less questions.
"So how's Roger been? We haven't seen him in while." Joanne asked, munching on a fry.
Mark mentally sighed. He'd known the subject of Roger would come up eventually. "He's good. Been spending a lot of time with his band, getting the new members fully updated with everything. I actually don't see him too much, between both our jobs, his band and me spending so much time with Marshall." he carefully mixed truth and lies to sound convincing.
"Oh...so how does Roger feel about Marshall?" Joanne asked, a strangely knowing look in her eyes.
Mark shrugged. "Actually...I haven't exactly told him about him. ...To tell you guys the truth, Roger is still a little distant, has been since Mimi died." And the understatement of the century goes to...
"Wow, that sucks. Tell him to suck it up already, its almost been a year." Maureen commented absently.
"Maureen!" Joanne snapped. "I'm sure its still hard on him, Mark. It just takes time. It'll get better... Make sure you tell that boy to not be a stranger. He hasn't called us in almost a month."
Mark nearly choked on his beer. "A month? I didn't know he talked to you that recently."
Maureen nodded. "Oh yeah, he calls us usually ever couple weeks, just to chat...and we go out to dinner or he comes visit sometimes. He always says you're busy, at work or something." she shrugged.
Mark nodded absently, as if he knew all of this. Inside, he was reeling.
They silently finished their food for a few minutes when Mark spied Gina walking in. He grinned, waving at her.
"Hey, I just saw someone and I have to go say hi. I'll be right back." he explained to Maureen and Joanne, not catching Maureen's look towards Gina, as he got up.
He went up to Gina, who was with Jerrod and Amber. They greeted each other warmly, talking for a few minutes. Mark assured them he'd see them this weekend and then said bye so they could find a seat.
Walking back to his table, he found Maureen's eyes glaring at him. He quickly sat down, unsure what the problem was.
"Sorry about that; haven't seen them in a while." he explained hastily.
Maureen glared over at Gina then locked eyes with Mark. "Are you friends with her? With Gina, I mean?"
Mark's eyebrows knitted at Maureen's tone, but he nodded, slowly. "Yeah, I am... you know her or something?"
Maureen's eyes darkened slightly and Joanne placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "Fuck yeah, I know her. She used to hang around tent city, proclaiming she was doing performance art and performance protest. Even tried to work with me a couple times. She's fucking crazy."
Mark struggled not to chuckle. "Well, yeah. She's a bit weird, rather adventurous... but she's not a bad person."
"Yeah, Mark, she is." Maureen bit out. "She does things just for attention and is just a psycho."
Mark frowned. "You must not know her very well. She's crazy, but not in a bad way. She's really fun to be around. And excuse me, but you've been accused of doing things just for attention, too."
Maureen was getting pissed, he could tell by her expression. "I know her as well as I'd like, Mark! I worked with her once, and she thought it'd be funny if she set the stage on fire. We barely got it out in time. And she nearly got me arrested once. I'm telling you, that bitch is bad news. I can't believe you're friends with her." She snapped.
Mark felt a stab of anger at Maureen calling Gina a bitch. "I'm sure she didn't mean any harm by those things. She's not malicious, just a bit irresponsible. So you guys don't work well together, that doesn't mean she's a bad person or a bad friend."
Maureen's eyes hardened, and she looked determined to prove her point. Leaning forward, she said, "Did you know she's a major drug fiend? Probably not, since I don't think you'd be friends with her if you knew, but Gina does a shit ton of drugs. Mostly amphetamines, but some coke and E, too. She's not immature, she's just too blazed to know what the fuck she's doing most of the time."
He knew she was right: that Gina did a lot of drugs, and when she was high, she could get out of control. He knew that was all true...but he found himself getting angry over the words anyways, part of that because of his own usage.
"Actually, I know about the drugs. Its not like she hides them. And it doesn't make a difference to me. In case you forgot, we've had friends who did drugs before. So the fuck what? She's a good friend to me, and I'm not about to judge her for that. You want to be judgmental? Do it well away from me, because I'm not about to stop being friends with her. So mind your own damn business." He hadn't meant for his voice to come out as harshly as it did, but it was done and he wasn't taking it back.
Maureen's eyes widened, and she appeared simultaneously offended and surprised. Quickly recovering, she launched to her feet. "Fine! I was trying to look out for you, Mark, but if you want to be friends with the psycho bitch, go right on ahead. But I'm out of here." she snapped, walking out without another word to him, although she did pause to flip Gina off.
Joanne sighed, patting Mark on the arm. "I'll calm her down. Honestly, I think you should be careful with this girl...but its your life, Mark." She shook her head slightly. "Take care of yourself, and don't be a stranger. I'll call you once Maureen's not upset anymore, so you guys can talk."
"Thanks, Joanne. I'll see you later." Mark smiled gratefully at her.
Once they left, Mark saw Gina shoot him a questioning look. He shrugged at her with a smile, and walked over to join them when she waved him over.
Why does it feel like I was living two lives...and now one's beginning to end?
LINELINELINELINELINE
...shwaa, I think this chapter was a bit intense, lol. Anyways, next chapter's in the final stages so I should update fairly soon. Oh, and one more thing:
Spanish Guide: (I apologize, I should've done this from the first time I started using Spanish here. Growing up with both languages means I sometimes forget random Spanish words can be confusing to ohers, lol.)
Cochino - pervert/pig/dirty mind (slang, roughly translated)
Pobrecita - poor girl/poor thing
[I will henceforth include translations for any Spanish I throw in. Most of it is slang, I do not speak proper Spanish. I mean, I've taken classes to attempt to read/write it, but I learned how my parents/grandparents speak, and that's a mix of Mexican Spanish, Texmex slang, Spanglish, and just informal conversational].
Please review! :D
Much Love,
Di