A/N: Unlike the previous chapters involving cooking, you could actually use this recipe. :D Credit for the recipe goes to Dakota Kelley on .

This was it. Today would be the day I actually learned how to cook, for real. No more throwing food together and hoping it wouldn't explode. If I'd learned anything, I knew now that cooking was an actual skill, not something I could fake or rush my way through. But I'd made a promise to Demyx that I'd make him blueberry pancakes. Maybe it wouldn't be easy as I'd first expected, but I swore on Kingdom Hearts, today was the day I was going to get it.

Still, I was smart enough to know I couldn't learn to cook on my own. That was why, at six o'clock the morning following our prank on Xaldin, I knocked on Axel's bedroom door.

"Axel?" I called when minutes passed with no answer. Either he was already awake, he was still out cold, or he was ignoring me. Probably one of those last two.

Sighing, I trudged back to the Grey Area. Who else knew how to cook, who also wasn't likely to kill me?

"…destroyed an entire reconnaissance area! I cannot allow this to continue!"

"Saï, it was just Wonderland. It'll grow back in a couple of days. Besides, you've wanted to tear that place apart yourself more than a few times, heh."

I ducked behind the corner, eavesdropping on Saïx and Axel's conversation. What did you know; he actually was awake.

"Wonderland is not the only issue," Saïx continued. I could picture him glaring over his clipboard. "In light of the recent events, Number III has resigned as our cook. In his own words, he will not continue to serve 'traitors and miscreants.'"

"Ooh, 'miscreants.' That's a new one." Sarcasm dripped off Axel's voice. "So what, we don't get bacon for breakfast anymore. I can pour myself a bowl of cereal."

"You are missing the point, as usual," Saïx interjected sternly. "The Superior expects his morning meal delivered to the Altar of Naught at precisely seven o'clock. If he is disappointed…"

He left the phrase floating in the air. I risked a peek from behind the wall; Axel was standing silently, arms crossed.

"…What do you want me to do, pick up Xaldin's slack?" The redhead finally asked. "I'm no Demyx, but I'm not big on working overtime just so the bossman gets his room service. Get the Dusks to do it."

"The Dusks have no concept of taste, and their antics can be even more irritating than yours."

"Heh. Tell that to that Dusk back at C.O." He chuckled. Oh yeah, the unfortunate Dusk that ate our 'stew…'

"The fact remains that only a greater Nobody has the necessary qualifications. Someone must—"

Uh-oh. Saïx's gold eyes locked on the side of my face that wasn't hidden well enough.

"Xenan," he called me out. I stepped forward calmly; what was the worst he could do for eavesdropping? "How well can you cook?"

To his credit, Axel held it together for one second before he burst out laughing. "Xenan? Cook? What do you wanna do, give us all food poisoning?"

Saïx shot him a glare. "This conflict with Xaldin began with her. She is perfectly suited to cover the damages."

"Or make even more," Axel continued. "You didn't see her back at C.O."

I shoved him with one arm; I didn't need the cake incident reaching Saïx's ears too.

"Great. When do I start?"

Saïx glanced back and forth between the two of us. Probably wondering if he should listen to Axel's advice. Honestly, I hoped he wouldn't. I needed to learn how to cook; what better way to do it than by replacing Xaldin? If this worked out, I'd get to make sure I got three good meals a day.

There was only the small problem that I had no cooking skills whatsoever. But we'd get to that.

"…We start now," Saïx announced gravely.

"Wait, 'we'?" I asked.

"If you are as much of a disaster as Axel insists, someone must instruct you. I believe I am best suited for damage control." He sighed, passing off his clipboard to Axel. "Should anything go dreadfully wrong, these are today's missions. Pass them out to the other members as they awake."

Axel flipped through the papers on the clipboard. "Recon, heart collection, heart collection, collect emblems, recon – Unidentified Giant Heartless? Aww, come on, I just had one yesterday!"

"My mission assignments are final. Unless you would rather be on cooking duty," the blue-haired man challenged.

"Ha ha, I knew you still had a sense of humor in there." Axel laughed, taking up Saïx's usual spot at the head of the Grey Area.

Meanwhile, the Luna Diviner unceremoniously dragged me through a dark corridor to the Kitchen of Brewing Darkness. As of right now, it sparkled with cleanliness. I wondered how long that would last.

"Listen carefully," Saïx ordered, turning to face me. "We have exactly forty-nine minutes to prepare the Superior's breakfast. You will follow my instructions exactly and completely, with no deviation. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," I replied, like I 'd finally been enrolled in the military academy I'd always dreamed of attending, before I found out just how awful the military actually was. Seeing the war's toll on my mom and Henry had thoroughly purged that dream from me. Not that fighting Heartless on my own was the problem. I just didn't trust the same captains and squads that had failed my family before.

Saïx retrieved a book from an upper cabinet, then flipped it open to a page marked with a blue sticky note.

"Today is Tuesday. Tuesday is Pancake Day," he declared, like it was an unalterable law of the universe. I knew Xaldin had a pattern of meals every seven days, but I didn't know that it was a set rule. Anyway, it looked like Tuesday was my lucky day.

"Great. So what do I do?"

"First, retrieve the griddle from the lowest cabinet on the left."

I opened the cabinet, unsure of what I was looking for. "Uh… grid-what?"

He sighed. "It is an electric stovetop device. Cooking pancakes would be far more difficult without it."

Well, there was only one thing in the cabinet anyway. It was flat like a stovetop, and black. I plugged its electrical cord into the wall outlet.

"Now what?"

"Now," he announced, handing me the cookbook, "I will assess your progress on your own for the first step. Ask any relevant questions; this must be performed correctly the first time."

Great. No pressure or anything. Well, at least this time I had a recipe. Following instructions couldn't be too hard, right?

First things first, I had to gather the ingredients. One and a half cups of all-purpose flour, three and a half teaspoons of baking powder, one teaspoon salt, one tablespoon sugar… I was momentarily distracted by the measurements. What was a 'tablespoon'? A spoon the size of a table? I rummaged through the utensil drawer, but I wasn't sure what I was looking for.

"Are you in need of assistance?" Saïx asked with an irritated undertone.

"…What's a tablespoon?"

Sighing, he pulled a key ring of stubby spoons from a completely different drawer. "Both the tablespoon and the teaspoon are present here. You focus on the ingredients; I will find the other measuring utensils." He must have realized we would be here all day if he left me to my own devices.

Well, at least most of the ingredients were labeled, and I remembered some of them from the cake incident. Flour, sugar, and baking powder were in metal canisters lining the counter; I set them by the griddle. Salt was in the shaker out on the dining room table. Milk (one and one-fourth cups), butter (three tablespoons), and an egg were all in the refrigerator.

"The task from here should be simple," Saïx said. "Measure out the ingredients. The flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar should be mixed into the bowl first."

Flour, powder, salt sugar. I kept repeating the ingredients in my head. Saïx had set out a glass pitcher with horizontal marks down the side; I recognized it as a measuring cup. Right. 'Cups' in cooking weren't just any cup out of the cabinet. Carefully as I could, I poured flour from the canister into the measuring cup. A small puff of white powder poofed in my face as I poured, and I coughed, scattering more powder.

"Careful," Saïx chastised. "The measurement must be exact. Tap the side of the canister to pour more slowly."

"…Like this?" I gave the side a nice whack; a clump fell into the measuring cup, poofing dust into Saïx's face.

"Not quite," he coughed, fanning it away. Taking the canister into his own hands, he gently tapped the side with two fingers, so only a small stream of white trickled out. "Like this. I trust you can emulate the process?"

"Yeah. Yes, sir," I added more respectfully. For someone who didn't like me, he was being pretty polite, even if it was forced. I might as well do the same. "Thank you."

The flour poured much more easily using Saïx's method. Soon I had the one and a half cups the recipe called for. Saïx shook the measuring cup to level it, then poured it into the mixing bowl.

"Continue." He nodded.

The other ingredients required the weird spoons. He quickly saw me struggling with them and demonstrated how to level off the top with a knife and not dump everything out.

"You're really good at this," I said in amazement.

"These are the most basic of cooking skills," he replied. Maybe he was trying to be condescending; his monotone voice made it hard to tell.

"Still, you're way better than me. Why don't you be the Organization's cook?"

He shot me a look like that was a dumber idea than putting Demyx in charge of the whole Organization. "And who do you suppose would plan your missions in my place?"

I wasn't sure exactly how much work that took, but I wasn't about to argue with him. I wasn't in the mood for an Unidentified Giant Heartless mission.

"…I'll just have to try harder," I muttered to myself, whisking the ingredients.

"That will do," he said when it was thoroughly mixed. "This next step is not difficult, but will require careful attention to detail. Read the instructions."

I read the next step of the recipe out loud. "Make a well in the center and pour in the milk, egg, and melted butter; mix until smooth. Wait, a well?"

"It is just an indention in the center of the mixture." 'You idiot' seemed to be implied.

"Sorry I don't speak your fancy cooking language," I muttered, making a little hole in the middle with my spoon. That wasn't so hard. "How did you learn how to cook, anyway?" It was a more personal question than I'd usually ask the intimidating man, but he had said I could ask any relevant questions. It seemed relevant enough to me.

"My Somebody knew," he replied curtly, melting the three tablespoons of butter in the microwave. "Any self-sufficient human, or Nobody for that matter, should have basic cooking abilities."

"Well, that's why I'm learning," I said a little too snappily. I picked an egg out of the carton, only to realize I had no idea how I was supposed to crack it. But I was tired of asking Saïx for help. It couldn't be too hard… how had Dad done it? He just hit it against something, right?

Saïx turned around with the melted butter just in time to see me crush the egg against the side of the mixing bowl.

"Xenan!" He practically dove forwards, rushing to set the butter on the counter (thankfully not spilling it) and scooping out the crushed, gooey mess. "Do you know what the Superior will do if he finds eggshell in his pancakes?!"

Saïx never joked, but the idea that he was serious was just as hilarious as if he'd suddenly decided to take up pranking as a hobby. I'd never heard that much emotion, real or fake, in his voice. It took a lot of effort not to burst out laughing.

"Eat it anyway?" I suggested. Whine about it? How was I supposed to know? I'd only seen Xemnas a few times, and never at meals.

Saïx glared dangerously. "You paid a visit to Numbers II and X's pseudo-Void. Why don't you ask Number IX why he visited the true one?"

I gulped. I'd picked up from what the others said that the accident that led to R-2 losing his leg happened in a Void, but I didn't remember anything about Demyx going to Xemnas's real one. But I trusted that Saïx wouldn't make that up.

"…It was over a pancake?" …And did that mean Demyx had once been the Organization's cook? It was weird to think about what life might've been like here before I came. …Probably a lot quieter.

Saix rinsed his ungloved hand. Maybe I should've taken my gloves off too, but after the cake incident, I felt safer cooking with them on. "Yes. So observe how to crack an egg properly."

I hovered nearby as he lightly tapped the side of the egg against the inside of the bowl. Pretty much what I'd done, only softer. Then, using two hands, he cleanly separated the two halves of the eggshell, letting the jelly-like insides plop into the 'well' in the center. Was it just him, or did cooking always have to look like performing surgery?

"Mix," he ordered, pushing the bowl towards me.

Finally, something I could do right. Still, he kept scowling at me the whole time. I tried to keep batter from flying out, but there was a time limit, so naturally there wasn't a lot of time to worry about the drops that flung off onto the previously-clean floor.

"What?" I challenged when I couldn't take it anymore. Those gold eyes were creepy enough when they weren't boring into me skull.

He shook his head. "Perhaps I should have listened to Axel. I do not have the time to deal with this much chaos every morning."

"Then make Xaldin cook again! You're his boss, right?" I mixed harder.

"It is not quite that simple." He frowned. "With Xigbar currently on leave and the Castle Oblivion team eliminated, Xaldin is the only remaining senior member other than the Superior himself."

"Wait, you mean you're not a 'senior member'?" I asked, moving on to the next step, coating the griddle with a spray that Saïx said would keep the pancakes from sticking, then pouring the batter out in little circles. My circles were more like lopsided ovals, but otherwise it didn't seem too hard.

"Not technically. I have risen to my position through much effort."

Huh. I couldn't imagine an Organization without Saïx as second-in-command. But I didn't pursue it further; I focused on carefully pouring out pancakes.

"Well done," Saïx actually praised me for once. Wow. "Now you must watch them carefully. Once they are brown underneath, flip them with this." He handed me a spatula.

"How do I know if it's brown on the bottom? I can't see it."

Did I imagine him rolling his eyes? "The edge will begin to change color. As I said, use your powers of observation."

I did. …It did get a little darker around the edges, and thicker, too. When it looked ready, I slid the spatula underneath one and carefully flipped it.

I grinned in satisfaction. One perfectly golden-brown pancake. I could do this. Take that, Axel.

"You are making progress." Another positive comment from Saïx; this was as rare as a vacation day. "We have twelve minutes remaining. Once you are finished I will instruct you in the final step."

I finished flipping the pancakes, patiently waited for the other sides to cook, and moved the finished pancakes to a clean plate. The recipe had been enough for sixteen medium-sized pancakes; how many did Xemnas eat?

Saïx took a heart-shaped plate out of the high cabinet next to the refrigerator. "Place two pancakes here." I did as he ordered. "Now draw a heart with the maple syrup."

I paused, wondering if this was actually someone's prank on me. Even Saïx couldn't be serious about this, could he?

"Xemnas, uh, really…?" I knew Axel joked about Xemnas 'fangirling over Kingdom Hearts,' but still, this was ridiculous.

"Our Superior's dietary habits are not your concern."

I shook my head and shrugged, getting the syrup from the pantry. If Xemnas had a thing for hearts, that wasn't my problem.

"I expected better craftsmanship from you, XV." Saïx stared in disdain at my lopsided syrup-heart. "But I suppose it will do. Deliver it to the Altar of Naught. Then you may begin preparing the Dining Hall for breakfast." He opened a dark corridor for me, but I was hesitant to leave just yet.

"Thank you for teaching me how to cook," I said sincerely. I would've expected him to be too efficient to waste this much time on me.

"Do not expect this every day." He turned his back on me. "I believe you have learned enough that written instructions and tutorial videos will be sufficient from this point on. Any failure to produce the requested food will rest on your head."

Well, that sounded wonderful. Maybe he'd just set me up with this job so Xemnas would off me… but then why bother teaching me in the first place?

While I was wondering about Saïx, I had one other, completely non-food-related question.

"Hey, um, sir… What happened to your cat?"

He shot a venomous glare over his shoulder. "That is none of your concern."

"Well, I just wanted to say, um… sorry." I swallowed. "If it was my fault… anything happened to it."

There hadn't been any point in tattling, back when I let Xemnas know about the cat before I got exiled to C.O. I mean, I'd been kind of mad that Saïx caught me, but it was mostly Xigbar's fault (as usual). I didn't have to just spite him like that.

A thought hit me – he could've done that back to me. With R-2. Still could, if he realized R-2's replica status…

I'd better be very, very careful around the Luna Diviner.

"Save your apologies." Saïx strode towards the door. "Nobodies can feel neither regret nor remorse."

Was he talking about me, or himself? I'd probably never know, but I'd done what I could. Better get those heart-pancakes to Xemnas before I got myself thrown in the Void.

XXX

"Kingdom Hearts." Xemnas's deep voice filled the dark, empty sky. "Fill the Void within us; unite thirteen vessels as one…"

Uh… what had I just walked in on?

Xemnas raised his arms to the sky, bathing in the light of the heart-shaped moon. Which, normally, would only be a little weirder than just appreciating the view. But he was also standing in front of a literal altar, with various key- and heart-shaped objects placed on it, including fuzzy heart pillows, house keys, boxes of heart candies, teddy bears holding hearts…

It was called the Altar of Naught, but I'd thought that was just one of Xemnas's weird names. I hadn't realized our leader was this obsessed.

Xemnas turned around, finally recognizing my presence. "Number XV. Where is Number III? We desire our pancakes."

I tried to ignore the circumstances and remember that this was still my boss, who could turn me into a Dusk or throw me in the Void if I made him mad.

"Number III is, uh… I'm filling in for him today. Maybe for a while, actually," I added, trying to dodge his gold-eyed stare. Were Xemnas and Saïx from the same world? I'd never seen eyes like those in any world I'd been to. "Here are your pancakes."

I held out the heart-shaped plate, which Xemnas accepted, summoning a fork to take a bite. Why hadn't I taste-tested it earlier? If it only looked good on the outside, if it was actually as disgusting as the other things I'd cooked…

"This pleases us," Xemnas said, his expression unchanged. "You are dismissed."

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I couldn't get through the corridor away from there fast enough.

This was way too much weird for only seven o'clock in the morning.

XXX

"Breakfast is served," I announced later in the Dining Hall of Non-Existence, serving up plates of warm pancakes.

"Ooh, those smell tasty!" R-2 exclaimed, scooting his chair back and forth as I set his plate in front of him. "Hey, it has a face! A happy face!"

"Yep," I replied as he gleefully giggled at the lopsided, syrupy face I'd drawn on his pancakes.

"Hmph. Just an asset, indeed," Xaldin muttered. I put his undecorated pancakes on his placemat and moved on.

"Thank you, Xenan," Xion said upon receiving hers.

"Yeah, thanks," Roxas echoed.

Axel crossed his arms. "I'd let someone taste it first before you go thanking her."

"She cooked these under my supervision," Saïx assured him, carefully dissecting his own pancakes. Was there anything he didn't do carefully?

"Yeah, still think I'll wait and see if you keel over."

I didn't really care what Axel thought; there was only one taste-test I needed to pass.

"Heh. You actually did it." Demyx grinned at his pancakes, which I'd sprinkled blueberries on top of. Close enough. "How did you do it?"

"Like Saïx said, under his supervision."

"Saïx can cook?"

"I heard that, Demyx," the man said from across the table.

"It was just a question. Sheesh." Still, he kept smiling. "Did you remember the whipped cream?"

I pulled the spray can out of my bottomless pocket. "What do you take me for?"

While he sprayed out a pile of whipped cream, I served my own butter-lathered pancakes and took my seat. Finally, I could taste the fruit of my effort.

And it was delicious.