Chapter 35 – Future
"I'll be right there," Bella says. I hear the car accelerate. "Don't open it until I get there, okay?"
"Alright," I answer as I continue staring at the envelope. I turn it over, examining it. My entire career future is in this one little envelope. It's such a small container for a future.
"Are you still there?" Bella asks.
"Um, yeah," I say, placing the envelope on the bar. I carefully square the corners.
"Edward, are you okay?" she asks. "You're awfully quiet."
"I'm fine... I guess. I don't know. How far away are you?" I walk to the stereo and turn on the CD changer. I turn down the volume and press play. The slow sound of a saxophone emanates from the speakers as Grux begins to play.
"I just turned onto your street. I'll be there in less than a minute." I hear her stop at the stop sign at the intersection less than a quarter of a mile away. I walk back to the bar to check that the envelope is still there. Yep, it hasn't moved. "I'm turning into the complex," Bella says, so I go to the door and open it. I step out onto the front stoop to wait for her.
Bella parks her car and almost dives out of the door. She looks up and we make eye contact. I give her my crooked, half smile. Her brow furrows and I see the worry lines between her eyes form. She walks quickly to my door and stops in front of me. I take her hands and lean in to kiss her.
"Hi, honey, how was your day?" I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
"Edward," she says sternly, "how can you make jokes right now? This is serious. Your entire future is in an envelope."
"No, love, you're wrong. My future is standing in front of me. That envelope contains the direction my career will take. That's all. You are my future. Nothing else matters to me." I lean in and kiss her again.
"I honestly think that you only say it doesn't matter so that I won't feel so guilty," she says as she leads me into the townhouse. "It isn't working."
"You have nothing to feel guilty about, my love. You're not to blame for any of this. You have to quit taking all of this to heart. You're the most blameless person in this whole situation." I take her into my arms and hug her tightly.
"You're sweet," she says as she pulls back to look into my eyes. "Where's the letter?"
I release her and motion toward the bar. "It's over there."
She walks to the bar and stares down at the envelope. Slowly, she raises her hand and picks it up. I watch as she turns it over in her hands a few times. She turns back toward me.
"It's not very thick, is it?" she says.
I shake my head. "Nope."
"Is that good or bad?" she asks.
"I have no idea," I answer. "This is a completely new situation for me."
"Are you ready to open it?" she asks. I nod, so she holds it out to me. I take it and walk to my office. Bella follows me. I open a drawer and take out my letter opener.
I turn toward Bella and place the letter opener under the flap of the envelope. "Well," I say with a sigh, "here we go." I slide the opener across the top of the envelope and return the letter opener to the drawer. I remove a single sheet of paper from the envelope, unfold it, and begin to read. I finish and slowly refold the letter. I look up to see Bella wringing her hands. The worry lines between her eyes have returned.
"Well?" she asks. I hold it out to her. She takes the letter and quickly unfolds it. I notice that her hands are shaking slightly as she reads it. She finishes and looks up at me. "What does this mean?" she asks, seemingly confused.
"It means that I won't be practicing law for the next eighteen months," I answer her as I take back the letter and look at it again.
"I thought that it said you're suspended for twelve months," Bella says as she steps around to look over my shoulder at the letter.
"Well, I'm suspended from practicing at all for twelve months, but for six months after the suspension is lifted I can only practice if I'm supervised by another attorney." I point to the provision in the letter. "Since I'm no longer employed by a firm, this means that I have an eighteen month vacation."
"I'm sure that Carlisle or Rosalie would be willing to supervise you. You don't have to be out of the game for that long. And who knows, you could be snatched up by another firm," she says, hopefully.
"I would never put Carlisle or Rosalie or even Emmett in that position. No firm will hire an attorney that they have to babysit. I don't want to go back into a firm anyway." Bella looks like she might start to cry. "Hey," I say as I place the letter on my desk and take her in my arms, "this is not bad. This is not a crying situation. I'll have ample time to help Eleazar and Rosalie prepare for trial, if it gets that far. I can spend more time with you, which is the biggest bright spot in all of this. After the eighteen months, I'll hang my shingle and go back to work."
I pull back from her so I can see her face. A tear trails down her right cheek. I wipe it away with my finger. "This is not a time to cry, Bella. This is very good. We should celebrate." I lean down to kiss her. "I know the perfect way to celebrate," I say, suggestively.
Bella smiles as she looks up at me through her eyelashes. "So, being suspended makes you frisky?"
"Apparently," I answer her and then kiss her again. "Or maybe it's just you. You always get me excited."
"Well, then, Mr. Masen, let's celebrate." She takes my hand and leads me from the room. I scoop her into my arms. She giggles as I race up the stairs to my bedroom.
~*~*~*~*~
I notice that Bella's breathing has slowed, indicating that she is asleep. I slide slowly out of the bed trying to make as little noise as possible. I don't want to wake her. I pull on my boxers and grab my bathrobe from the hook in the bathroom. I tiptoe out of the room and go downstairs. I turn off the CD changer mid-way through Why I Am and then cross to the bar to get my cell phone. I scroll through my contacts until "Carlisle" appears on the screen. I hit send.
"Carlisle Cullen," he answers.
"Hi, Carlisle, it's Edward."
"Edward!" he says enthusiastically. "How are you, son?"
"Well, actually, I'm pretty good. I got a letter from the bar association today. That's why I'm calling." I don't know why, but I want Carlisle to be one of the first people to hear the news.
"I already know, Edward. I was waiting for you to call me. Aimee Hadley let me know yesterday what the committee decided. I'm so happy for you... and for the legal community. I want to volunteer now to supervise you when the suspension is lifted."
"I appreciate that, Carlisle, but no. I can't ask you to do that." Wait a minute... Aimee Hadley. "Um, Carlisle, do you mind if I ask you something?"
"Not at all, Edward. What do you want to know?" he answers.
"How well do you know Ms. Hadley? How much pull did you have on their decision?" They had seemed friendly at the hearing, but now he seems especially familiar with her.
Carlisle chuckles lightly. "Hmm, Aimee and I go way back. We were high school sweethearts. She went off to Wesleyan and I went to Pepperdine. We tried to do the long distance relationship thing during freshman year. It was hard for both of us, but I think it was harder for her. She ended the relationship over spring break that year. I thought that I'd never get over her, but then I met Esme and the rest is, as you say, history. I ran into Aimee many years ago at a new attorney's luncheon thrown by the Washington bar association. We've remained friends ever since."
"I thought you seemed a little friendly at the hearing," I say with a laugh.
"We're friends and colleagues. We help each other with cases and clients when necessary. She's a good person to have on your side." He pauses and I hear him take in a breath. "Edward, have you spoken with your father yet? Have you called to tell him the outcome of the hearing?"
I start to chew absentmindedly on a fingernail. "No," I answer simply. I'm telling Carlisle... the man I think of as my father. I don't want to ever speak to the sperm donor again.
"You should call him, son. He's the only father you have."
I take a deep breath to think about how to respond to this. "I appreciate your opinion on the matter, Carlisle, but he made it abundantly clear the last time we spoke that he did not want to hear from me again. I'm respecting his wishes." And maintaining my sanity.
"And your mother? Did she also make it clear that she doesn't want to hear from you again?"
Low blow! "No, she didn't. I'm afraid that if I contact her, then Senior will... take it out on her. I don't want to cause trouble for her. Anyway, Senior probably already knows. I don't see the point in calling them and getting a big mess started." He doesn't say anything and for a moment I think he has hung up the phone. Then I hear him shift in his chair. I sigh. "I'll call my mother later in the week, okay?"
"I think you should. She loves you, Edward. She's just in a difficult situation. I don't condone it and I don't understand it. But, she does love you. She tries."
I nod even though I know that he can't see me. "I know. Thank you, Carlisle, for everything."
"Edward, it was a pleasure. I'll talk to you soon," he says before he ends the call.
I stare at the phone in my hand. I really should call my mother. I haven't spoken to her since the day before the hearing. She was... supportive... in her own way. She told me that she'd love me no matter what and that she would support me in the event that the "unmentionable" happened. I knew what that meant. I thanked her, but also reminded her that I didn't need her support. That's always been her solution to my problems... throw some money at it.
I decide instead to call Cynthia to let her know that she only has to endure Emmett for eighteen more months. I hold down the three to speed dial her cell. The call goes directly to voicemail. I assume that she's in court with Emmett so I text her instead.
Not Dbarred. Suspd. 12 mths. Supv. 6 mths. 18 mth vaca. Call me.
Again I'm left to stare at a silent phone and wonder if Carlisle is right. Should I call my father? Truthfully I don't want to hear his voice. I don't want to be told that I'm worthless. I don't want to hear him disown me again.
I suddenly hear light footfalls from upstairs and then the toilet flushes. I start back up the stairs to my Bella. She's left the bedroom and is standing at the top of the stairs. Her beautiful hair is a mess of loose curls falling around her shoulders. She has on the pink terrycloth bathrobe that I bought her a few days ago, just because I wanted to see how beautiful she would look in it. I'm not disappointed.
"I woke up and you were gone," she says. She blushes and smiles as she looks down to the floor. "I missed you," she whispers.
"I would have left a note if I had left the house." I ascend to the top stair. We're standing face-to-face. "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen," I whisper to her as I reach up to stroke her face. Her blush intensifies and she shakes her head. "Really, you are. Your blush just magnifies your beauty."
"You're too good to me, Edward," she says, softly, as she leans her face into my hand. She's so wrong... I'll never be good enough.
~*~*~*~*~
A few things happened soon after I got the letter from the bar association. Some good, some... well... I guess it depends on how you look at things sometimes. The biggest thing is that Judge Knapp died. This would go into the good category. Judge Knapp ordered James into the psychiatric hospital; bad for our case. With his sudden heart attack, a new presiding judge will have to be appointed. I'd turn cartwheels if I didn't think that I'd break my neck. Eleazer, Rosalie, Emmett, and I have been praying daily for Judge Crowley. He won't let the little prick stay in the hospital. Judge Crowley detests the insanity plea. We want Judge Crowley.
I was sitting in front of the television watching one of the seemingly endless judge programs that pollute the airways on weekday mornings when my cell rang. It was Eleazar. "Hey, man, what's up?"
"We got him," he says. That's all he needed to say, but he continued. "We got Judge Crowley," he almost shouts into the phone. "I just sent over a motion to have James moved from the hospital to the jail here in Port Angeles. We'll probably have a hearing on the motion in a few weeks. Can you be there?"
"Do you think I should? I'm not really a practicing attorney right now. Maybe I should just stay away and let you guys handle it." I don't want to jeopardize the case.
"I want you here, Edward. You're a big part of this. I... we all want you to be here. We want you to be one of the first to see the bastard carted off to the jail," he says.
"You're that confident that your motion will be granted?" I ask.
"Yes." He doesn't have to say anything else.
"I'll be there. Just let me know when."
The next big thing that happened is that Emmett and Rosalie got married. It shocked the shit out of all of us. They took a weekend trip to Vegas and came back hitched. Emmett is over the moon about it. Rosalie... well, I can't really tell. She seems content with the arrangement, but she has complained to Bella a little about how messy Emmett is. She told Bella that she wished they had lived together for a while before they rushed into marriage. I think she was kind of trying to warn Bella.
I haven't told Emmett any of this. I'm enjoying watching Mr. Bachelor become Mr. Husband. He is definitely a changed man. Gone are the late night calls beckoning me to the club. Cynthia has even noticed a change in him. She says that he seems more centered... more grounded. She keeps calling him a "grown-kid" now.
Emmett isn't the only one that made a change. Rosalie has mellowed a bit. Well, she's mellowed outside of the courtroom. She's still fierce in front of the judge. Alice has insisted on throwing a reception for them. Alice, Rosalie, and Bella are planning the soiree so they are together a lot now. It seems to be good for Bella. She's coming out of her shell more and more.
That brings up the other big thing. It hasn't exactly happened yet, but I'm planning it. That's why I'm making the three hour drive to Forks to talk to Charlie. I've already spoken with Alice, Carlisle, and Cynthia. I even called my mother and spoke with her about it. It was a surprising conversation.
"Edward! It's so good to hear from you. How did the hearing with the bar association go, dear?"
"It went well, Mother. I received a letter from them last week. I wasn't disbarred, but I have been suspended for a while."
"So, you're still an attorney?"
"Yes, just like Father."
"You've never been like your father."
"Should I say thank you for that? Was that a compliment? Never mind. I didn't call to talk about my career or Senior. I want to talk to you about Bella, Mom."
"You're still seeing her?"
"Um, yeah. I see her everyday. I love her, Mom. I love her like I never knew I could love someone. She's the air I breathe. She's the heart that beats in my chest. She's my reason for living and being."
"And she feels the same?"
"I think that she does. She tells me that she loves me. She treats me like I never thought I deserved to be treated. She respects me and supports me. She's there for me even when I don't want anyone around me. Even when I think that I'm not worthy of her, she's there. I want her to be there more."
"What are you saying, Edward?"
"I want to spend the rest of my life with Bella. I want to become the man that deserves her. I want to be that good of a person. She makes me want to be better. I just wanted you to know that... well, I'm going to ask her to marry me."
"Oh, Edward, that's wonderful news! I'm so happy that you have found someone. You deserve to be happy, dear."
"So do you, Mom. You don't deserve to be treated the way that Senior treats you. You deserve to be loved for who you are and not for your social standing or for your family name."
"What do you want me to do, Edward? Leave him? Where would I go? What would I do? I'm an old debutante. I don't want to be an old divorcee."
"But, Mom...."
"It's not that bad, Edward. I don't really see him much. He stays in the east wing of the house and I stay in the west. I'm comfortable. I have a nice home and a nice car. I have nice clothes. I can buy anything that I want. I have my charity work. I have my ladies club. It's not a bad existence really."
"You deserve to be loved by someone."
"I am, dear. You love me. That's enough. In the end, you are the best thing that ever came out of my marriage to your father and if changing the past means not having you... then I wouldn't change a thing. Don't worry about me. Worry more about when I get to meet your Bella."
We set up a brunch meeting for the following Sunday. When Bella arrived at the townhouse later that day I told her that I had spoken with my mother and that we would be having brunch with her on Sunday. She asked if this was the "meet the parents" moment. I chuckled at her remark and told her that it would be just my mother. She then asked the most absurd question. She asked if she wasn't good enough to meet my father. What the hell! After I composed myself from the shock of her question, I explained to her that it was quite the opposite. Senior isn't good enough to meet her.
When we arrived at the Edgewater Hotel for brunch on Sunday, my mother was already there at her usual table by the window overlooking the water. Bella had been fidgeting the entire ride over and had not stopped when we entered the building. I told her to stop fidgeting and she gave me a "go to hell" look. She had already expressed to me how nervous she was about meeting my mother. I thought she was being ridiculous.
Mother stood when we approached the table. She hugged me and then she turned to Bella. I held my breath. Mother took a step toward Bella and then hugged her warmly. I heard her say, "beautiful, just beautiful," to herself as she pulled back from Bella.
Brunch went extremely well. After Bella calmed down a bit and after Mother stopped the game of twenty questions, we fell into a comfortable chat. Thankfully, neither lady mentioned Senior. Mother hugged Bella again as we stood to leave. Bella hugged her back this time. Mother then turned to me and angled us away from Bella a bit. She took a box from her purse and placed it in my hand. Then she said, "There's a note in the box. I love her."
We walked Mother to her car and then got into my car to head home. I heard Bella let out a huge breath. I turned to see her with her head on the headrest and a look of peace on her face.
Later that night, after I had taken Bella home, I took the box from the pocket of my overcoat and opened it. Inside was an exquisite diamond engagement ring. It had to be antique. The center stone was maybe a carat but it was surrounded by a row of smaller round diamonds. The band was filigree. I couldn't tell if it was white gold or platinum. I took it from the box and then noticed the paper that was in the top of the box. I placed the ring on the bar and opened the note.
Edward, this was your grandmother's, my mother's, ring. My father gave it to her in 1935. They were married for sixty-five blissful years. They were truly a love match. Please give this to Bella with my blessing.
I almost cried. My mother had given me a family heirloom to give to Bella. We had her blessing. Only one more to go.
Which is why I'm now in the car making a three hour trek to Forks, Washington. I have to talk to Charlie; I promised that I would. So I drive through torrential rain, which is not uncommon for this area, but makes for extremely bad visibility on the road. It's a Tuesday and I'm really hoping that Charlie is at work. My Garmin will get me directions to the Forks Police Department, but without Charlie's street address, it's useless.
I pull into the station parking lot and kill the engine. I take the ring box from my pocket and open it. I've had the ring cleaned, appraised, and insured since I received it from my mother. It's two and one half carats total weight and it's set in platinum. It appraised for $25,000.00. Seems like too low an amount to be putting on the finger of a priceless woman.
I snap the box closed and put it back in my pocket as I step out of the car. I walk to the front door of the station and step inside. The rush of heat is a nice change from the cool dampness of outside. I'm looking around for a place to put my umbrella, when a voice suddenly asks, "May I help you?"
An elderly man is behind a desk about five feet from the front door. I approach him and extend my. "I hope so. I'm Edward Masen and I'm here to see Charlie Swan."
"You a lawyer?" he asks with a look of suspicion.
I smile and say, "Not currently. Is Charlie in today?"
"Does he know that you're coming here?" he asks, again with suspicion.
"Pardon me?" I ask. He gives me a strange look so I say, "Um, no, I don't think so. I didn't call ahead or anything. I'm a friend of his daughter... Bella."
His expression changes to one of concern. "Is Bella alright?"
"Yes, she's fine. Is Charlie in today?" I ask again. I'm getting nowhere fast.
"What did you say your name was again?" The suspicion has returned.
"Edward. Edward Masen." He turns and goes through a door to his right. A few minutes later I hear footsteps coming quickly up a hallway. Charlie bursts through the door with Little Elderly Guy behind him.
"Is Bella okay?" Charlie asks abruptly.
"Yes, sir, she's great. Why do you guys keep asking me that?" Do I look like there is a problem with Bella? Wouldn't I have just called if there was a problem? It would be faster than a three hour drive.
"Billy said that you were here because of Bella. I thought... never mind what I thought," Charlie says as he shakes his head. "What brings you all the way down here, Edward?"
I look behind him at the eavesdropping Billy. "Can we talk about this in private, please?"
"Sure, sure," he says as he pats me on the back and gives me a little push toward the door. "My office is just down the hall. We can talk in there."
We walk down the hall and enter the office that Charlie indicates to me. I sit in one of the chairs by the door as he crosses to sit behind his desk. He looks at me questioningly.
I'm suddenly extremely nervous. "Um, I don't know how to start this conversation," I stammer.
"Is everything okay with you and Bella?" he asks.
"Oh, yeah, it's great," I gush. "It couldn't be better. She and Alice are planning a party for Rosalie and Emmett. She's really getting involved. She's showing more and more independence. I'm very proud of her."
"Yeah, she told me about the party; wants me to come up for it. You didn't come here to invite me too, did you?" He leans over and crosses his forearms on the desk.
I take a deep breath. "No, sir," I answer. I look up to see his eyes... Bella's eyes... boring holes in me. "You told me to come talk to you when I figured out what I intended to do... with Bella. Remember?" I sound so stupid and I feel even more stupid than I sound.
"I remember," he says as he continues to stare at me. He then motions for me to continue.
"Well, um, I.... You see, Charlie, it's just that.... Bella is special and...." I can't seem to just spit it out. I see him bite his lip to keep from laughing. Bella does that too. I smile to myself and shake my head. Then I just spit it out. "I love your daughter very much and I want to spend the rest of my life making her the happiest woman on Earth. I want to marry her. I'm here to ask you if I can."
"Have you bought a ring?" he asks.
"Not exactly," I say as I pull the box from my pocket. I pass it across the desk to him. "It was my grandmother's. My mother gave it to me last week. She told me to give it to Bella with her blessing." He opens the box and lets out a low whistle. "Is it acceptable?" I ask.
"Hell, yeah," he says as he turns it side to side, examining it. "She'll love this. It's beautiful. It looks old. How old is it?"
"My grandfather gave it to my grandmother in 1935. They were married for 65 years until he died. My grandmother passed six months later. They were very close."
"So, it's a lucky ring?" he asks.
"Apparently," I say with a smile. "It doesn't seem like enough for her, but it's what I have. If she doesn't like it, we can go to a jeweler and she can pick whatever she wants. I just want her to be happy."
"She'll love it. It's perfect." He passes the box back to me. "When do you plan on asking her?"
"As soon as I get your blessing," I answer.
He stands and says, "Then you better get back in the car and on the road. It's a long drive back to Seattle and this weather isn't helping." I stare at him and then slowly stand. I'm utterly confused. He laughs and then walks around the desk. He hugs me and pats me on the back. "You have my blessing. You can marry my daughter."
I realize that I haven't been breathing. I suck in a mouthful of air and let out a huge sigh of relief. "Thank you so much, Charlie," I say as I shake his hand. "I promise that I'll always take care of her."
"I know that," he says as his eyes well briefly with tears. I see him swallow before he says, "Go. Go get engaged."
I sprint back to my car. I don't even bother with the umbrella. I'm drenched as I dive into the driver's seat. I don't care. I have a proposal to plan and I don't want to waste any more time. I fly out of the parking lot and onto the road. I wonder if I can make a three hour trip in two hours.