A\N: Thank you so much to everybody who has been reading and reviewing this story it means so much to me. This chapter is a little darker and deals with PTSD so, that being said if you don't want to read it as it will be to hard for you I understand.

Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago Fire, NBC or Global

Spoilers: None

Warnings: Talk of PTSD, scenes of heavy drinking, implied neglect

Two Steps Backwards

Every week his sleep habits had deteriorated a little more and he became more and more detached from his family. Gabriela of course noticed but he kept brushing it off, changing the subject. Lately she didn't need to say anything she just stared, she was telling him she was worried and she wanted to help. But she couldn't help nobody could because Matt was determined to believe nothing was wrong.

He had been sitting on the chair in the darkness since he had come home from the firehouse. He must have drifted off to sleep at some point because the next sound he heard was two squeals of glee.

"Good morning," Gabby offered her husband a very forced half smile as she placed both twins in their high chair.

"Ba, ba, ba, ba," Serena babbled as she tried to reach her father.

"Hey princess," Matt kissed her hair.

"I heard you come in last night," Gabby gently took Michael out of his highchair and fed him a bottle.

"Uh, yeah I wasn't that tired."

"I can see that," Gabby's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Must have fallen asleep," Matt tried to shrug it off as he stands and stretches.

"Uh-huh, Matt what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Matt tried to keep his temper as he opens the fridge and gets out another bottle.

"Matt this isn't normal for you. Is it the new firehouse? It's okay if its not the same as fifty-one but It'll get better.

"No, it's not that."

"Then what is it?" Gabriela all but begged.

"It's nothing alright, I just don't want to talk about it

"Matt this isn't normal, not sleeping, when was the last time you got a proper sleep."

"August."

"Matt I'm serious!"

"So I'm I now will you stop bugging me?"

Gabby shook her head, "No, I know something's wrong," She wouldn't back down, "I've watched you get worse since December, first it was nightmares, then you'd wake up in cold-sweats, you've had panic attacks for no reason and-"

"STOP!" Matt's sudden temper flare caused both Serena and Michael to let out scared cries.

"Not until you admit something's wrong!" Gabriela attempted so soothe both her children as Matt began pacing the length of the kitchen.

"The only thing wrong is you! What do I have to do to convince you?"

"Explain the nightmares, the panic attacks?"

"Gabriela," Matt very rarely addressed her by her given name, "Either there's something wrong with you or you're imagining things. I have never had a panic attack."

"Last week at the hockey game, you stayed at Shay and Severide's because you couldn't drive home."

"That wasn't a panic attack that was…I was drunk. I don't know what Shay told you?"

"She told me you froze as soon as you got into the crowded arena and that Severide had to calm you down, almost talk you out of doing something to harm yourself. Don't tell me you don't remember that Matt, you need to talk to someone, a Therapist or-"

"No I don't, what I need is some peace and quiet!"

"Fine," Gabriela shook her head angrily, "Go but don't come back until you're ready to talk!"

Matt slammed the garage door without another word.

A week later Matt got home early in the morning and made his way straight to the basement. Usually he'd rush to see Gabriela and the twins but right now he just wanted to be left alone. He didn't want to deal with Gabriela and the twins in the morning, all he wanted to do was to be left alone.

He unlocked the bar fridge and grabbed as many beer's as he grab. Taking a seat on a stool he popped the lid off of one and chugged it down he followed the same pattern until he passed out.

"Matt!" Gabby's voice was the next thing he heard as he groggily open his eyes, "Matt," She was shaking him.

"Gabby," Matt groaned, "Go away!"

"Matt!" Gabby tugged on his shoulder. "Matt, Matt," She took his hands,

"Please let me help you."

Matt rubbed his head as he sat up, "I'm fine Gabby, I just had a rough shift."

"Matt, this-whatever it is, it's getting worse." Tears fell down Gabriela's cheeks, "I've barley seen you in weeks. Some nights I don't even know f you're home, then this morning, I was terrified you didn't and then come down here to see five empty beer bottles and you drunk and passed out. How could you be so stupid? So selfish?

"Don't yell," Matt rubbed his head.

"Matt, get up, come see your children." She tried to pull him up.

"Leave me alone," Matt spat, "Just go away!"

Gabriela stood up and took a few steps backwards. She was worried; she had never seen Matt like this before, didn't know what it was and more importantly, didn't know how to help him.

"I'm going to take the twins and leave for a bit,"

No response, Matt had walked to the fridge and grabbed another beer.

"Matt, did you hear me."

Matt shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes, "I don't care," He gulped down the beer.

It had been two days since she had the discussion with Matt in the basement and they had barely spoken since. After having the pervious day off Matt was now working days for three shifts. After Matt left for work around six Gabriela took care of the twins. Letting them finish their second nap she packed them all up and got in the car. She needed to make a few important errands.

Walking into the 3rd District of the Chicago Police Department Gabriela walked to the front desk to get a visitors pass but before she could someone recognized her.

"Gabby, is that you?" Antonio's partner Liam Gowling backtracked his steps. "Antonio's upstairs, he didn't mention you were coming."

"Its kind of a surprise visit," Gabby signed the visitor's log and attached the pass to her shirt.

"Well I'm sure he'll love to see you guys."

"Yeah," Gabriela followed Liam to the elevator and to the 3rd floor. "Hey Dawson, look who I found downstairs!" He walked down the hallway.

"Who Liam?" Antonio didn't turn his head away from the paperwork he was filing out.

"Geee!" Michael squealed as he saw his uncle and he immediately reaches his arms out.

"Gabby," Antonio grinned as he stood up and hugged his younger sister, "Well this wasn't expected. I thought Liam was tricking me."

"Gaa," Michael squealed louder as he held up his arms again.

"Okay buddy," Antonio lifted Michael into his arms and then picked up Serena as well. "You need a break cause' Dani and I would be more then happy to take them for the night.

"I might hold you to that offer a little later on." Gabriela wasn't about to turn-down a night off, "I actually came here to talk to you?"

Antonio noticed his sister's serious expression as soon as she opened her mouth, "Everything alright?" He asked, afraid of the answer.

"Can we talk in private?" Gabriela wondered.

"Yeah let me go see if any of the interview rooms are free?" Antonio left, "My Captain said we can use one of the empty interview rooms," Antonio returned minutes later, "You wanna leave the twins here?"

"Hey Antonio you-" Antonio's friend since their academy days Hannah Lenard walked into the Vice Unit. "Hey Gabby," She smiled as she saw the other woman, "These must be your twins, they're adorable."

"Thanks," Gabby smiled before turning back to Antonio, "It's okay they can come."

"If we get a call the Capt. knows where I am," Antonio told Liam.

"I can watch them," Hannah abruptly offered, "I mean if you want me to."

"Count me out," Liam began to walk away but Hannah grabbed his shirt collar.

"You sure? You don't have to get back to work?"

"Nah, I'm off today, well on-call anyways. Just came to see if these suckers wanted me to treat them to lunch.

"Then yeah sure," Gabriela backed up the stroller and locked it beside Antonio's desk, "Thanks."

"You are just so adorable," Hannah cooed to both infants. "Lets see if Mommy packed any toys."

"You don't need toys," Liam sat on the edge of Antonio's desk and pulled on his tongue and made it touch the tip of his nose. This sent both Serena and Michael into fits of giggles.

"Okay Gabby, what's up?" Antonio closed the door and turned off the video monitor in the top corner before turning back to his younger sister.

"He-" Gabby took three deep breaths, "Something's wrong with Matt. I don't know what but he's not sleeping and when he does he has nightmares. Yesterday we had a huge fight about what's wrong and then this morning- this morning I found him passes out in the basement five empty beer bottles on the floor.

Antonio leaned forward in his chair and propped his elbows firmly on the desk, "How's he doing at the new station?"

"Good, I guess, he doesn't talk to me why?"

Antonio avoided her question, "What about tough calls? Anything he didn't want to talk about?"

"There was this call a few weeks ago, a two week old baby died. When he got home I could tell it was really bothering him but he only told me a little and won't talk about it since."

"Okay," Antonio rubbed his brow, he had seen PTSD before, in colleagues and friends, but he had never seen it up close, it had never affected him on a personal level, until now. Antonio rubbed his hands together, "It could be a whole number of thing but it does sound a lot like PTSD. He hasn't told you anything wrong's right?"

"No and he's getting worse, Antonio," Gabriela's voice hitched, "He's at work right now, he could panic when he needs to make a decision or…."

"Okay Gabby, okay," Antonio tried to ensure his voice was calm and steady, "I think the best thing you can do is talk to him about it."

"I already tried that and it didn't work!" Gabriela was past the point of thinking rationally.

"He might but, just try okay and go to his superior…."

"Go over him?"

"Yeah Gabby if you want this to get fixed."

"What if I talk to Chief Boden, he's technically Matt's superior, I mean he's not in the same district but it could still work.

"I'm not sure how it works in the fire fighter world but if that happened in the police department the districts would start mini wars. It's already territorial."

"I don't think it's like that."

"I'd go to his boss, whoever that is."

"Great, you wanna go?"

"Gabby, you know what I mean."

"Yeah I know," She took a deep breath and sighed, "I'm just worried if I do that he'll hate me."

"Gab's Matt could never hate you. I'm not going to lie though he may be mad for a little while but in the in its all for his health.

"Yeah I know," Gabriela walked towards the door and opened it.

Her next stop was Firehouse fifty-one where she'd talk to Boden.

"Gabby! Hey, what're you doing here?" Leslie Shay rushed to hug her good friend as she walked into Firehouse fifty-one.

"Is Boden around?" Gabby followed her into the break room where all eyes turned to her and to the stroller she was pushing.

"He's in his office, but he's talking to someone." Shay lifted Serena out of the stroller, "How's Serena doing today?" She held the infant up above her head and Serena squealed with delight.

"Waaa!" Michael wailed as Pouch came up to the stroller and began investigating it. He stood on his hind legs and stared at Michael.

"Pouch come here," Mouch patted the arm of the couch to distract the dog. Poach happily agreed but Michael wouldn't stop crying.

Gabby lifted her son into his arms and easily comforted him, "It's alright honey Poach is just a dog, he's not going to hurt you. He's nice," She carried him over and placed her hand over his and petted Pouch, "Isn't his fur soft?"

Michael stopped crying but still wasn't overly impressed with the dog. He did seem interested in Mouch's popcorn and attempted to touch it before Gabriela pulled him away.

"Nice try you little…" Gabriela playfully shook her head and pressed her face against Michael's causing the infant to sequel and kick his feet in delight.

"Look's like Serena has her first boyfriend," Shay couldn't control her laughter as Serena ran her tiny fingers along Cruz's face and pressed her open mouth against his, then with a giggle she pulled back and smiled.

"Oh you are a little monster aren't you," Cruz could never say mad at the gorgeous infant currently sitting on his lap.

"Gaha," Serena giggled with delight as he handed her back to Shay.

"Why do I think Uncle Kelly taught you to do that?" Shay picked her up and walked over to the crib to retrieve some whips for her face.

"What did Severide do?" A muscular African-American man walked into the room with Severide following.

"Is this what you guys do? Play what can we blame on Lieutenant Severide." Kelly joked.

"Hghds," Serena smiled.

"I see Auntie Leslie and Mommy have been teaching you well," Severide plucked the infant from Shay's grasp."

"Hi, I'm Gabriela Casey. My husband and I used to work here," Gabby approached the man and stuck out her hand.

"Lieutenant Alexander Niven," He took Gabby's a hand and gave it a gentle shake, "and I've heard lots of great things about you and your husband. "And I have a two year old and a four year old," He pulled out his phone,

"Aw, they're adorable." Gabriela smiled.

"Gabriela," Chief Boden walked into the room and turned to the two men opposite him, "This is Gabriela Casey."

"You're….you're Matt's Battalion Chief. She recognized one of the men from the tour."

"Yes Mrs. Casey I am, can we have a word in private?"

Gabriela gulped and slowly nodded her head.

"We'll watch the twins," Shay told her friend as she watched her follow the two men out of the room.

"Did Gabriela tell you why she was here?" Boden asked the room full of people as soon as Gabriela and the two men where out of earshot.

"No. She just said she was here to talk to you but she did seem a little off, why what's going on?"

"Matt never showed up for shift today. He hasn't been heard from in seven hours."

TBC

A\N: Dun, dun, dun... what do you think happened to Matt? Tell me in your review!