Disclaimer: Mash-up. I merged my favorite book as a kid with my favorite book as an adult. The basic premise is from Elizabeth Cadell's 1955 "The Lark Shall Sing," while the characters and setting are from Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mysteries. Cussing, kids scheming, white trash, anything having to do with sex was NOT in the original Cadell book, okay?

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Bill on the Phone, Part 2

Sunday afternoon…on an interstate connecting Texas and Louisiana…

Bill Compton left Dallas slightly later than he had originally intended. Several articles he was co-authoring required his attention. Initially he thought he'd have the entire month to finalize his edits, but with this unexpected trip to Louisiana, his schedule was a total mess. Not only was he making the trip, he didn't know how long his presence would be required to help Sookie in dealing with her family. There was also the matter of her family's farm. Honestly, he preferred it just got sold. He could see the writing on the wall that—if the house remained in the family—he, Bill Compton, eventually would be asked to financially assist with the house's upkeep.

Bill found the whole situation greatly vexing. He especially did not appreciate how it had crept up on him in the manner that it had. He couldn't help but think that if only Sookie had had more control over things, if only she had handled it better from the outset, it would not have exploded into a last-minute chaotic mess that now required his presence to resolve.

Sigh. Sookie.

When Bill had originally met his blonde fiancée ten months before, he had been utterly charmed by her Southern belle act. Not to mention her sweet accent. Luscious lips. Feminine shape. Lovely hair and luminous blue eyes. All round, she was quite pretty. Maybe not beautiful, maybe not a perfect 10. She seemed to have not jumped on the exercise craze and was always playing with ten pounds on the scale. Despite this, she was still quite pretty. Definitely a solid 8. When winning the battle of the bulge, she crept to a near 9 if not an actual 9. Yes, definitely her looks contributed quite a bit to her ability to reel him in all right.

He was also taken with her intelligence—she was indisputably smart. She was definitely the most skilled writer on that hack magazine she wrote for. Although, truth be told, that wasn't saying much given the fact that her coworkers were quite limited in their intelligence and cognitive abilities. Sookie did have a refreshingly succinct way of getting to the point. She was very skillful in dissecting important and often complex socioeconomic matters, and explaining them in a manner that any twelve year old could understand. This was very good as most Americans read at a twelve-year-old level. Bill wrote mostly for academic economic journals and contributed to text books, but it was important that there were people—like Sookie—who could translate important ideas and concepts so that common Americans could understand them. Lord knows, he could not be the one to do so. He barely read that magazine she wrote for, it was so…trite and simplistic. But he did read her columns once in a while and he made a point of mentioning it to her when he did so she knew he supported her continued efforts.

Pretty…bright…Sookie. Yes, the way Bill perceived it her one flaw—and it was a considerable one—was her temper. Beware not to rile her as below the surface lay a fierce and cutting temper. She had a sly wit that could cut one to the quick, if provoked. And the cussing. You would think she was the one who had spent the past four years in the Navy rather than her brother Jason, as she definitely had the vocabulary of a drunken sailor.

Then, of course, there was her family. The Stackhouses. They also presented a potential problem. As long as Bill had known Sookie, the Stackhouses had been separated. Dispersed. Jason in the military. Tara in New York. Amelia at boarding school. The two boys living with the aunt in San Antonio. Frankly, Bill wanted that house in Bon Temps sold. Aside from the financial drain that it would inevitably represent to him, it was preferable that the family be separated. As long as everyone was scattered and there was no home, per se, there would be no competing pull toward any one place. There would be no compulsion pulling Sookie away from him.

He had encouraged Sookie heartily on her idea to sell the house. Bill did not like the fact that Sookie still seemed to battle internally with regret and fear that the decision to sell was a mistake. If, for some reason, the Stackhouse Farm was not sold, Bill knew there would be a part of Sookie that would hold onto this idea of Bon Temps being 'home.' And Bill could not have that. While Dallas was good for them now, Bill was actually looking to make the move back up to Connecticut at some point, hopefully some time soon. He hadn't actually mentioned it to Sookie yet, but he figured there'd be plenty of time to discuss what he had planned after they married. As long as the Stackhouse Farm was sold, and everyone was scattered across the country, Bill would not have to compete with anyone else for Sookie's attention. And he could return to the northeast and get away from this dreadful heat of Dallas. As well as the cowboys and simple country folks.

Ah, to be back in New England. And near his lovely, elegant mother, Lorena Ball Compton. Bill was happily contemplating his eventual return to the land of snow, liberals, and true intellectuals when his cell phone rang. Glancing down he saw his fiancée's name show up on the screen.

"Hello darling. How are you?"

Hi Bill. You never called to let me know what time you'd be getting here. Are you almost here?

"No, sorry darling. I actually only just left about 15 minutes ago. In fact I still have to stop for gas and my car ride refreshments."

Well, why didn't you call to let me know?... The DuRones are having a barbeque and I stuck around the house figuring you'd be arriving any minute because you said you'd be here this afternoon. I guess I should've just gone with everyone.

"Well, its not too late, is it? Why don't you just go?"

Well, for one thing, I let them take my car since I figured you'd get here shortly and we could just turnaround and go in your car.

Sookie paused and he could hear her take a breath. She spoke again.

You know what? It's fine. Not a big deal. I'll just call over there and have someone pick me up.

"Good. I am happy that that is resolved. See? No need to get upset. I didn't call but it really didn't affect your plans."

Bill really wanted to train Sookie out of this bad habit of hers of getting overly frustrated with him at the littlest things, like not calling. He was also working on training her to not talk to him from a different room in the house. He did not believe in 'shouting' from one room to another. Whenever he heard her calling out to him from a different room, he would stop what he was doing and make a big production of going to her and saying, 'Yes? In your inside voice, please?'"

Back in the present, Bill heard Sookie sigh.

Sure, Bill. It's fine. Like I said. Anyway, I'm sitting here by myself in the house and everyone's over at the Du Rones enjoying the pool. So, I think I'll say goodbye now and see about joining them. Give me a call when you're about a half hour away and I'll get someone to drop me back at the house. We'll get you settled in and then maybe head back to the DuRones if you feel up to it and there's any food left.

Bill doubted he'd want to spend time at a poolside barbeque with all the townspeople of Bon Temps, but he didn't think Sookie would respond favorably to him expressing that opinion right then. He figured it would be smarter to just agree to go for now and inform her later that he was too tired to go.

"Of course, darling. That sounds delightful." One thing was still playing at his mind. He decided he would ask. "Sookie, is that Northman still around?"

Sookie did not answer right away.

Yes, Bill, I told you last time we spoke that Jason pretty much invited them all to stay on a while longer.

"Oh, well, Sookie," Bill's voice had a tight quality to it. "I don't like it. I don't like him there in the house with you."

Bill heard Sookie sigh over the phone. But she didn't say anything. Still silence.

"Sookie? Don't you have anything to say? You know it's not good manners to just ignore me. If you have something to say, I'd appreciate it if you would just say it."

No, Bill. Honestly, I don't really have anything to say to you on this matter. We've already discussed it. I've already told you Jason invited them all to stay. For whatever reason, you seem to have a problem with the idea of Eric Northman being in the house. Uh…and I don't have anything else to say on the matter right now.

Sookie's calm response had Bill nonplussed. This reaction wasn't like her. Normally, Sookie would jump down his throat for not trusting her, for thinking her incapable of handling unwanted advances, for implying that she was powerless. But, now, she responded with nothing.

Why?

"Sookie, has something happened? Has that…actor…made an inappropriate advance on you? Has he said something inappropriate? Sookie, I wish you had had the common sense to just listen to me when last we spoke—"

Bill could hear Sookie suck in a breath on the other end of the phone.

"Sookie, I told you I did not trust him around you and now it seems that I have had good cause to feel that way. I refrained from instructing you to tell him to leave your house—"

Again there was a gasp from the other end of the line.

"because I do not believe it's a man's responsibility to tell his woman what to do. Against my better judgment, I thought it important to demonstrate to you that I trusted you, and had trust in your judgment. I should have known, after the house situation, that that could well be a mistake. But, if you have allowed the situation to get out of hand—"

He heard another sharp intake of breath across the phone line.

" and if Eric Northman has done or said something untoward towards my fiancé, I must know this. So, will you please tell me what is going on at Camp Stackhouse?"

There was a pause. Obviously, Sookie was unaccustomed to Bill taking a strong tactic with her. Bill did not like being so forceful with her, but she could be too willful at times. And this was Eric Northman after all. Bill couldn't even imagine what acts of depravity the thespian Lothario would sink to. Yes, Bill thought it appropriate to rein Sookie in when she was being difficult, as she was being now. He had been very lenient with her up until then, but he figured now that they were engaged, it was appropriate he start getting her better acclimated to his preferences...

Suddenly Sookie found her voice.

Wait, just you wait. Hold on there, buddy. I'm not sure where that personal attack came from, but you'd better hold off from saying another word. You understand? Now. First off, I am Sookie Stackhouse, first and foremost, before I am 'your' anything. Secondly, the best part—I'm thinking—of the total spew of garbage that just came flowing out of your mouth—is the part where you basically told me you forced yourself to trust me against your better judgment? Now, have you always felt this way? Please tell me, 'cause I'm dying to know, Bill. Why the heck would you ask someone to marry you if you don't trust them worth a damn, Bill? Does that even make a lick of sense to you?

"Sookie, you are willfully misunderstanding me. I do not like to fight with you, darling. I don't know why you do this—"

Why I do this? Are you insane, Bill? Please tell me how I misunderstood what you just said. 'Cause I don't think I did. I listened to what you said and I think I got a good handle on it. As for your attitude towards me, I swear, sometimes…Bill, it's like you think I haven't a brain in my head or an ounce of common sense in my body. And you know something? While you were living it up in Connecticut with servants and getting your Ivy League degrees while different folks took turns wiping your ass, I was running a household, going to school, monitoring the care of a dying woman, and taking care of three kids.

"Sookie, I have the utmost respect for your achievements, darling," Bill mentally chastised himself. He should have thought this out a bit more. He knew Sookie had a tendency to be overly sensitive when it came to him pointing out her flaws.

That's not really the point, Bill. Have you never trusted me?

Ah, that's where she was coming from. "Yes, sweetheart, of course. Of course I trust you. Just you don't always have the best judgment."

Bill could only hear silence.

"Sookie? Darling?"

Bill, please. You're killing me with this nonsense. You'll be here in a few hours and I really don't want to fight with you on the phone. Okay?

"Believe me, I don't want to fight with you," Bill agreed. Sookie's temper could make things quite miserable. "So I have your word that you will be calm when I arrive later today?"

Bill heard Sookie let out a breath. When she spoke, Bill thought her voice sounded hard, but she was likely just tired.

Yes, Bill. I'm gonna go to the Du Rones and relax. I'll be sweet as pie when you get here.

"Very good, then. Darling, I'll call when I'm 30 minutes away."

Yes, Bill. Very good then. Bye.

He heard Sookie hang up.

Bill glanced at his phone as he flipped it shut. Sometimes he really didn't understand his Southern belle. He thought back to their conversation.

This class thing between he and Sookie sometimes reared its ugly head. Bill knew she worked hard and he was sorry it had been so difficult for her. It was not his fault he was born into a family of means and his gracious and lovely mother had an even temperament and strength of character that her own beautiful mother so obviously lacked. His secret fear was that the apple did not fall far from the tree. Perhaps her parents erred in having as many children as they did. It was a very 'Irish' thing to do. His own parents had only two children. There was only himself and his sister Jessica. His father, Jessup "Jesse" Compton, had passed away more than fifteen years ago. His mother was left to take care of Jessica and himself. Unlike Sookie's mother who apparently fell apart following the death of her husband, Bill's mother seemed to thrive and rise to the challenge following her husband's passing. Bill so admired his wonderful mother for her strength.

Honestly, deep down Bill feared the day he'd have to introduce Sookie to his mother. He knew Sookie's positive qualities very well. However, he was just as intimate with her lesser qualities. His mother, Bill feared, would be more apt to see Sookie's lesser, more base qualities. Lorena Ball Compton would not be impressed with Sookie Stackhouse's Southern belle charm, or her lilting accent, or her smart wit, or her ability to write for the common man. No, Lorena Ball Compton would want to know why her daughter-in-law was hot-tempered and why she felt comfortable raising her voice to her son and why she hadn't she attended better schools.

Yes, his mother had been quite concerned when Bill had told her he was engaged to a woman from Louisiana. His mother said that she just couldn't envision him marrying a girl from the Deep South. She'd made a humorous joke about inbreeding and then commented that their marriage—that of a New England Yankee and a Southern Belle—might possibly be the worst cross Dixie pairing since Jane Fonda and Ted Turner. Bill snickered remembering. His mother could be so witty.

Well, if nothing else, at least he would meet all of Sookie's siblings this week. Thus far he'd only met the youngest three. Though he found them wanting, he was generous enough to concede that they were young and lacked a solid influence growing up, as the child rearing had fallen to an overwhelmed Sookie. Finally meeting them all, he could perhaps gauge the character of the entire family and gain a better insight into his Southern belle if he met Jason and Tara.

Well, he thought, I have several hours left to this car ride. I may as well listen to some podcasts.

He didn't know what the week would hold for him, so he decided it would be important to listen to something intelligent and thought-provoking before settling in Bon Temps with his future relatives and the rest of the townspeople of the Deep South. Not to mention that swaggering knave, Eric Northman.

Bill set up his iPod and hit select on "The McLaughlin Group."

AN: Good time to remind folks about the poll on my fanfic profile for funniest ROTSS character. How does Bill not have more votes? OMG, I laughed my ass off the entire time I revised this. He's such a pretentious jackass, it's hysterical.

Thanks to the reviewers donael, RubySun03, supernaturallygifted, birdy81, scifireadingfool, MerryCain, sailor-ahiru, azucar69, Hidden, ncvampfan, adriana-is, Ellie Baby, VikingMistress, brook, ceba, paml, treewitch703, Bite Me Eric, and tryanythingonce.

Special big wave to alexandra76 and tip-of-the-hat to eaglepri. Many thanks to TeaCupHuman.

I kind of feel like I'm slogging through an awful mess at times. The fic really needed to be edited. I really didn't know what I was doing when I started. So all the encouragement that others (not just OCD/perfectionist me)are reading it and enjoying it is so...helpful for pulling me along. THANKS.

Thanks to "D" for inspiring Bill. My plan is to have Jessica Compton in the sequel. Undecided on Lorena.

:D more to follow.