*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN SHE'S GOING INTO LABOUR!?" Antonio bellowed.
Will wasn't even phased. "Antonio, she's in labour… we knew this was a risk. Yelling at me isn't going to make this any easier or help Jes. Now, hold her hand, shut the fuck up and keep her calm!"
Antonio froze. He had never seen Will lose his calm before. He shut his mouth and jumped to the head of the bed to try and keep Jes calm. Javier and Victoria had been escorted out of the room by one of the other nurses.
"Antonio… it's… no… make it stop!" Jes was panicked. "It's too soon."
Antonio leaned in close and whispered. "Jes, they're doing everything they can… but you need to stay calm… baby, I know… I'm terrified… just breathe… okay, we're both going to breathe."
Will was thankful that Antonio was able to get Jes to focus on her breathing a little bit. "Get Dr. Mayo in here! Or any OB! Page Dr. Manning!" People were flying around the room. Will was trying to figure out why her fetal monitor was screaming. It didn't make any sense. The baby's heartrate had been normal up until her labour had started. "Someone get an ultrasound in here!"
Hannah, the nurse, soon reappeared with an ultrasound machine and Dr. Mayo in tow.
"What the hell is going on?" Dr. Mayo demanded. "Dr. Halstead, I thought everything was fine."
"It was… until we got the news that the girl that offered herself up to save Jes had been found… murdered… then this happened."
"I thought we had agreed that we weren't going to allow her to be stressed? Even with the steroids, the baby isn't ready." Dr. Mayo whispered.
"I know, sir… but she demanded to know…"
"What's the ultrasound for?" Dr. Mayo asked.
"The fetal heart rate isn't making any sense." Will handed Dr. Mayo the monitor strip.
"Give me the ultrasound." Dr. Mayo took the wand and began an ultrasound. "What the hell?"
Will's jaw dropped as he watched the screen. "How did we miss that?"
"Miss what?!" Antonio demanded. "What's all the whispering about?"
"Um… guys…" Will said as he turned the monitor towards them. "You're having twins."
"What?!" Jes gasped. "Ow… oh… how… how did we miss that?"
Dr. Mayo sighed. "In rare cases of identical twins, they stay nestled exactly next to each other and their hearts beat in sync… right up until labour, when the first twin drops for the birthing process."
Jes was weeping. She had never thought she'd been able to get pregnant, now here she was having twins. "Make it stop… they're not… AH!"
Antonio's eyes were filled with tears. "Will, Dr. Mayo… please, stop the labour."
"We're trying, guys." Will took another syringe and plunged it into the IV. "Push more of the Magnesium. We gotta try and stop this… give these babies a little more time."
"Push more of the steroids." Dr. Mayo added. "I'm going to check her dilation."
"I didn't think she could deliver… naturally?" Antonio asked, rubbing Jes' back.
"She can't… but if she's fully dilated… or her water breaks… there's no way of stopping the labour." Will explained.
"Wait… if you…" Jes groaned as another contraction hit her. "You can't stop it… I can't have… a na…"
"Her membrane's ruptured." Dr. Mayo said. "Get an OR. We've gotta get her prepped for a C-Section, now!"
"No!" Jes screamed. "I don't want a section."
"Jes, baby, you don't have a choice." Antonio put his forehead to hers. "I know… I know how much you wanted a natural birth, but we… you can't… not this time."
"Antonio… I'm scared." Jes' breathing was getting laboured. "I… I can't… breathe."
Will grabbed a non-rebreather oxygen mask and put it over Jes' face. "Sis, focus on your breathing… squeeze Antonio's hand. We've got you and we've got the babies. Just… breathe."
Jes nodded weakly.
Hannah leaned in and whispered to Will. "Dr. Halstead, her pulse ox is under 95… we've gotta move."
Will nodded. "Where's Dr. Manning?"
"I'm here, Will." Natalie Manning poked her head in. "What's up?"
"My sister… just went into active labour… couldn't stop it… we've been pumping corticosteroids for the babies' lungs."
"Babies?" Natalie asked.
Dr. Mayo nodded. "Identical twins… heartbeats in sync until she went into labour."
"Shit. Okay, I'll get the neonatal team ready." Natalie was about to run out of the room. "Wait, did you say sister?"
"Yeah… my baby sister… Natalie… you do everything, and I mean everything! The Mayor is on this… the CPD… everyone… look, just… I'll explain later, but save these babies."
She nodded and ran out of the room, yelling for the Neo-Natal team to meet her in the OR with two incubators and be prepared for preemie twins.
Jes was weeping. Between the pain of labour and the fact that she was having her children 10 weeks early, she was a wreck. Antonio didn't know what to do. He had heard stories of twins being born early. He knew that Javier and Victoria's twins had been 3 weeks premature, but his own children were now being born 10 weeks too early. They didn't know what the future was holding for them.
Antonio looked to the doctors. "Can I go with her?"
Will nodded. "Yeah. I'm going to assist Dr. Mayo… you're gonna be there to keep her calm…"
"You're not putting…oh fuck!" Jes clutched her stomach. This was the most pain she'd ever felt. Even the car accident hadn't been this painful. "Me… under?"
"No… I'd rather not have you under. We'll do an epidural… I want you to hear the babies cry." Dr. Mayo patted her shoulder. "We're going to move you now… we can't wait much longer."
The nurses led Antonio to the gowning room while others rolled Jes into the OR and got her prepped for the epidural. Antonio gowned up and looked to Maggie. "Is she going to be okay?"
Maggie didn't know. "She's got the best doctors and nurses with her… Dr. Manning is an amazing Pedes doc… you just focus on her breathing and staying calm, okay?" She took a mask and put it over his face. "Hold her hand, and talk to her. Your focus needs to be strictly on her, let Will and Dr. Mayo focus on the twins. You're a great dad, Antonio… just keep up the strength."
"Maggie… have Javi call my parents, and uh… Jay needs…"
"I'll handle it." Maggie smiled. "Go. Be with her."
Antonio walked into the OR. He was terrified. Jes was lying flat on the table. They had her on an oxygen mask and they were draping her for the procedure. Will and Dr. Mayo were scrubbing in. He sat on the stool that one of the nurses offered him and he went to Jes' side. "Baby, I'm here."
"Antonio… I'm scared… it's too early… what if they're not healthy… what if I hurt them?"
"No, Jes… don't… don't talk that way. None of this is your fault." Antonio took her hand. "The babies are going to be okay. You're going to be okay. I love you, Jeslyn. You're so strong… so brave."
"I love you, Antonio."
"Alright, guys… we're gonna start." Will said as he approached the operating table. "Jes, you may feel pressure… that's normal. Antonio, help her focus on her breathing… we'll have these babies out in no time."
Dr. Mayo asked. "Scalpel?"
Soon the procedure was underway. Jes could feel pressure but no pain. She listened as Antonio told her how to breathe. She focused on his voice. She knew that together they'd get through this. She just prayed their children were going to be okay.
"Okay, we've got the first twin." Dr. Mayo announce. "It's a boy."
"We have a son, Jes." Antonio whispered.
"Why isn't he crying?" Jes asked.
"He's small." Antonio reasoned.
Soon a tiny cry filled the room. "Okay, well, let's take a look at you little one." Natalie took the baby over to a warmer. "Let's check his APGAR score. Get me a heel stick too. Type and cross for blood and let's get him cleaned up."
"Okay, Jes… we're getting baby number two." Will said calmly.
"It's going to be another boy." Jes tried to laughed, but she hurt too much.
"Yes." Will smiled. "It is another boy."
This time the room stayed silent. No tiny cry escaped the baby's lips.
"Antonio, what's wrong?"
"Will?" Antonio asked.
Will clamped the umbilical cord and cut it. He rushed the baby over to the over NICU team.
"Antonio… why isn't he crying?" Jes wept. "Oh…"
Monitors started screaming.
"Doctors!" A nurse cried out. "Her pressure's bottoming out."
Jes was unconscious.
"Will! Do something!"
"Get him out of here!" Dr. Mayo ordered.
"No! What's going on?" Antonio needed to know what was happening to Jes.
"She's hemorrhaging." Dr. Mayo said. "Packed cells, hang 2 units, wide open. Get him out of here!"
Just as Antonio was being pushed out of the OR, he heard it. Jes' heart stopped as the monitor flatlined.
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
Jes felt like she was floating. The last thing she remembered was someone saying she was bleeding out, then everything went black. When she opened her eyes, she was in a white space. She blinked. "Where am I?"
"Some people would call it limbo." A familiar voice said.
Jes spun around. "Daddy?"
Michel Bellamy smiled. "Yes, Jeslyn."
"Am… Am I dead?" Jes asked as she ran to hug her father.
Michel shook his head. "No… not yet… you're here because you can make a choice."
"What… what do you mean?"
"He means that you can choose to come with us… or stay and fight for your family." A soft, feminine voice came from the shadows.
"Nadia?" Jes asked.
Nadia stepped into the light. She looked as beautiful as the last day Jes saw her. "Yes, Jes. It's me… and I know… you probably thought I'd look worse than this?"
Jes nodded and went to hug her. "How?"
"You believe in the afterlife… heaven…" Nadia started. "This is a… we'll call it a waiting point… because you actually have a choice right now."
"Since when do people get a choice if they live or die?" Jes asked.
"Come…" Michel motioned. "That's… that's what we're here to explain."
"But how?" Jes was confused. "Why does all this keep happening? Nadia… Daddy, all you guys did was try to save other people."
"Yes, but Jes… I signed for that when I rejoined the Army." Michel answered.
"I knew the risk of having Yates take me, Jes… but I couldn't let him kill you, Jes… you are too important… too kind… to let that monster kill you."
"But, I'm here… I'm dying." Jes argued.
"No, the doctors are working their asses off to save your life." Michel took her hand. "You can choose if you go back… or if you want to give up, and come with us… you won't feel any pain… it'll be like a deep sleep."
"Or…" Nadia intervened. "You can fight, stay alive and go back to those two beautiful baby boys who are going to need their mom. It won't be easy, but you've been through so much, Jes… you're strong… you're a hero… I only… I only wish I could be with you… watch you… learn from you."
"I don't want to go back and have to live knowing you died because of me."
"I didn't die because of you." Nadia reassured her. "I died because of that monster. I didn't want him to do anything to you or those babies… you're destined for amazing things, Jes… because of you, so many teens are on a better path now… less drugs, less gangs… I couldn't just let him take that away. These kids need you, Eva and Diego… the babies… even though you didn't know you were having twins… they all need you."
"But, we need you too, Nadia." Jes begged.
"I think, my job now is to be a guardian angel for those two boys, and any other kids you and Antonio decide to have." Nadia smiled. "Jes, I know it hurts… and I'm pretty sure that you think coming with us is the easy way out…"
"My darling, my beautiful baby girl." Michel touched her cheek. "I wish every day, every single day that I could've been there… to protect… to watch you fall in love… to meet my grandchildren…"
"Daddy…" Jes wept.
"I'd give anything for that chance… but…I don't want you to stay with us… I want you to fight, Jeslyn… fight… live… no matter how much it hurts now… I love you, always… I'm always with you… you'll never be alone." He wiped away her tears.
"I'm terrified." Jes admitted. "I'm so scared that the babies won't be healthy… that I'll be a horrible mother… that I won't be good enough."
"Jes… stop." Nadia stopped her. "You'll be the best mom out there… you already are with Eva and Diego… and every other kid at P2K… those babies will be strong and healthy… look at who their parents are."
"I don't want to have leave you."
"Jes, we're always… always going to be with you." Michel said. "We're in your heart… you'll never be alone… every time you fall… you hurt… you feel that you can't go on… we're here… helping you… guiding you."
"Jes… it's time…" Nadia whispered. "You have to choose now. But, your dad is right. You'll never be alone… neither will the kids… or Antonio… we're always with you."
"Okay." Jes sniffled. "I'm gonna fight… Daddy…"
"It's okay, baby… it's okay. I'll take good care of Nadia… take care of those babies… they'll always be safe."
"Tell Erin… that I'm okay… tell her not to blame herself…" Nadia begged.
"I will." Jes hugged them both one last time before darkness consumed her once again.
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
"We've got a pulse… it's faint… but it's there!" Will shouted.
"The bleedings under control… she won't need a hysterectomy." Dr. Mayo sighed in relief.
"Thank God." Will sighed. "Let's finish this and get her to recovery."
Dr. Mayo nodded. "I've got this. Go tell him the news."
"You sure?"
"Go, go." Dr. Mayo took some sutures to begin to stitch Jes up.
Will ripped off his gown and gloves and went in search of Antonio. He found him standing outside the NICU doors. "Antonio."
Antonio spun around, tears streaming down his face. "Please… please tell me that Jes is alive… that… that she's going to be okay."
"Come sit."
"Oh, no!" Antonio collapsed against Will. "No!"
"Antonio, Jes is alive… we stopped the bleeding… she didn't need a hysterectomy… she's in serious condition, but she's stable."
Antonio froze. "You're telling the truth?"
"I am. Dr. Mayo was just closing and they're moving her to recovery." Will smiled. "They're all okay."
"I… I haven't found the courage to go inside yet." Antonio nodded towards the NICU doors. "I'm so scared… more scared than on any mission, raid or even when Eva and Diego were born."
"I'll… I'll come with you… they're my nephews… they need family there." Will reassured him. "Come on. We'll have to gown up again."
Will and Antonio slowly made their way into the NICU. Nurses there helped them gown up and showed them to where the twins were. Will was thankful that they were the only two babies in this part of the ward. It allowed them to have all the attention they needed and allowed for more than one parent or relative at a time. They walked up to the two incubators. On the foot of each incubator was a little label that read, 'Baby Boy Dawson'.
Antonio wiped away a tear. "They're so tiny."
"I know, Antonio." Will put his hand on Antonio's shoulder. "But they're strong and they're fighters, like you and like Jes."
"How… how big?" Antonio looked into the incubators. His sons were covered in tubes and wires. Their diapers were bigger than they were.
"The first one is 3 pounds 5 ounces and the second is 3 pounds even."
"Oh God." Antonio whispered.
"You can touch them." Will said. "Babies respond better to their parents' touch."
"He's right." Natalie's voice came from behind them.
"Dr. Manning." Will greeted her.
"Hi, Will." Natalie smiled. "Is this Daddy?"
"My future brother-in-law, Antonio Dawson. Yeah, he's their dad."
"Mr. Dawson…" Natalie said.
Will leaned in. "He's a Detective."
"OH! Detective…" Natalie stood on the other side of one of the incubators.
"Just Antonio is fine." Antonio laughed.
"Antonio. Your sons are small but for being born this early, they most definitely are fighters." Natalie said. "Would you like to hold one?"
"Can I? I mean, is it safe… for them to be out?" Antonio was beginning to freak out again.
"Oh, God, yes… Antonio, those babies will do so much better if you hold them."
Will pulled the rocking chair from against the wall. "Here, sit."
Antonio sat in the chair. Natalie reached into the incubator and carefully took his son out. She laid him in Antonio's arms.
"Okay, I know there's a lot of wires and tubes, but this isn't hurting him. He just wants his daddy."
"Antonio, you guys are going to get through this."
Antonio nodded. "Jes and I only had one boy name."
"When she's up, we'll bring you guys back, and you can pick another name." Natalie laughed. "Talk to him, sing to him. Just let him know you're here for him."
"We'll be right outside."
"And, they're both healthy?" Antonio asked before they left.
"We'll be monitoring their lungs, but otherwise, yeah." Natalie grinned.
Will and Natalie left, leaving Antonio alone with his sons.
"How is your sister doing?" Natalie asked as they went to check on the twins' charts.
"She's alive… stable… but it's a long road to recovery."
"Are the rumours true?" She asked quietly.
"Which rumours?" Will answered her question with another one.
"That… that doctor… Yates…"
Will put his hand up. He could see where this was going. "Yeah… he beat my sister, raped her… did God knows what else, then kidnapped our brother's girlfriend's best friend and drove her to New York… what he did to her… I can't repeat… but that news… is what sent Jes into labour… it's why my nephews are in incubators instead of their mother's womb for another two months."
"I'm sorry, Will."
"I'll be okay… Are you sure you want to be back at work so fast?"
"I can't sit at home, and listen to pity phone calls. He's gone… he died in combat… I'm going to raise our child alone." Natalie sighed. "He never even got to see an ultrasound or anything. But, I'm going to be okay."
"You know; you've got another family here." Will encouraged her. "I know April and Maggie are like mother hens to you."
Natalie laughed. "Oh, I know."
Meanwhile…
Antonio gently rocked in the chair. "Hi, little one. I'm your daddy." He whispered. "You and your brother were such a surprise… but your mommy and I will love you… you're already so loved… Your big sister and brother can't wait to meet you either. Once you're big and strong, they'll come see you. They have so many things they want to teach you." The baby yawned a little. Antonio was so thankful that he didn't need to be intubated. They just had a CPAP to help them breathe. "We love you… so much… I can't wait for Mommy to come see you and meet you. She's been so anxious and excited to meet you."
Will poked his head in. "Hey, how you doing?"
"Can I kiss him?" Antonio asked.
"Of course. Uh, just wanted to let you know they're moving Jes to her own room. You should maybe be there when she wakes up." Will came into the room.
Antonio kissed the top of his son's head. "Te amo, mijo… so much."
Will helped put the baby back into the incubator.
"Can I touch his brother?"
Will flipped open one of the little holes. "Here."
Antonio slipped his hand in and gently stroked his other son's cheek. "Daddy's right here… for both of you." He pulled his hand back. "Let's go see Jes… she'll need to know that they're okay."
Will nodded. "Antonio, just… keep her calm… right now, we can't risk her blood pressure going up… or her jolting around."
"I got it." Antonio's voice cracked. "If I have to, I'll walk away from the CPD if it means that Jes and our children will be safe and healthy."
"Don't jump to any conclusions yet." Will said. "Just focus on the here and now."
They walked towards the Maternity ward where Jes had been brought. "Did you call my parents? Gaby? Jay?"
"Javier got a hold of your parents and Gaby and he talked to Jay… they said they'd come when you wanted them here."
"What did Jay say?"
"Javier said he cursed a string of vulgarities and punch a wall. He's beyond pissed off right now. I uh, I also called Voight… he knows… and he's fighting his own urges as well as preventing Jay from killing Yates out right for what he's done." Will replied.
"Any news on the trial?"
"Not yet. Javier has Victoria constantly calling for updates."
"Why?" Antonio rubbed hand sanitizer on his hands and arms.
"There are… rumours… that Yates may want to defend himself… and others… that they're going to subpoena Jes… as a witness." Will said hesitantly.
"They… what?! Oh fuck no!" Antonio exclaimed. "She's not testifying… she's not going to New York… she's never going to be near the bastard… ever again!"
"I said, they are rumours." Will said calmly. "Don't talk to Jes about it… talk to her about your sons… talk about another name… when she's cleared for it, we'll wheel her down to the NICU and you can introduce your sons to their mother. THAT is all that matters."
Antonio nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry."
"No, don't be sorry, you have every right to be furious… I'm furious… and those aren't my children… she's my sister… but that's different than a wife and mother."
"Will, I don't know much more of this she can take."
"She's tough… she's got you and the kids… we're all here for her." Will stopped. "You go in, alone… talk to her… tell her what she needs to know… and that's it."
"Thank you." Antonio hugged him. He slid the door open and slipped inside.
Will sighed. He knew this was far from over. Yates wasn't going to just disappear.
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
Antonio had to take a moment to recompose himself before going next to Jes' bed. He was starting to get fed up of continuously see her in a hospital bed. He wanted nothing more than to take her home or get her away from all of this. He sat next to her and gently took her hand. "Hey, Jes… I'm here."
Jes stirred a little. "An… Antonio?" Her voice was hoarse again. Obviously, she had been intubated again in the process of saving her life.
"I'm here. It's okay. Just rest. You're safe."
"What… what happened? The… the babies?"
"You… you remember?"
Jes nodded. "A little… uh… Javi and Victoria were here… they told us… that… um… Nadia… was killed."
"Jes, no… we… we don't need to talk about that."
"She came to me… when the alarms started blaring after the babies… our sons were born."
"Who? Jes, what are you talking about?"
Jes sighed. "I died, Antonio… I know that…"
"Jes…"
"There was this… this white room… and Nadia was there… with my dad."
Antonio was in shock. He knew that people had near death experiences, he'd had his share, but he never heard of a white room or people seeing dead loved ones. "Okay?"
"They told me I could choose… to go with them, be at peace… no more pain… or I could choose to fight and come home to you and our sons."
"You chose to fight."
"I did… Nadia… Nadia made a convincing argument."
"What was her argument?"
"She told me that I had already done so much to better the lives of kids, that I needed to be here for our kids… to help get the rest of these kids out of the gangs on and off the streets." Jes squeezed his hand. "They promised me that… that they'd be there as the kids' guardian angels… Daddy promised to keep Nadia safe."
"Jes… I… I don't know what to say." Antonio said. "This… I almost lost you…"
"I know… I wanted to go with them, at first… to not have to suffer… to not have to deal with the shame…"
"Jes…"
"I said at first… Nadia… she told me how important it was for our sons to have their mother… for Eva and Diego… for you." Jes kissed his hand. "I love you, Antonio… I would've been selfish not to fight."
"Jes…"
"Did… did they have to… do a hysterectomy?"
Antonio shook his head. "No… miraculously… they stopped the bleeding before they had to go there… Jes… you scared me… I can't raise four kids on my own."
"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." Jes smiled. "Have you seen them? Our sons?"
Antonio nodded. "They're small but they're fighters… like you."
"We need another boy name." Jes sighed. "I honestly… I honestly never thought I could have children, now here we are with twins…"
"I know… I was thinking the same thing." Antonio said.
"Mateo… are we still going with that?"
"It was our main pick." Antonio said. "What are you thinking?"
"I want to stick with it… and we need another strong name."
"Do you want another Spanish name… or French?" Antonio asked.
"I don't know… we hadn't gotten that far… remember… one baby was a miracle." Jes whispered. "Two… is a way bigger miracle… we need a name that fits that."
"Okay, do you want another 'M' name?"
Jes shook her head. "There's no way I want to do that… sharing a letter thing… I know a lot of old school twins were named that way, but… we're not that old school."
"Okay…" Antonio laughed. "What kind of names?"
"Do you have you phone?" Jes smiled.
Antonio nodded and handed it to her. "Using Google, are we?"
"We don't have a baby name book here, and I'd really like to have names picked before we… we go see them…" Jes' voice cracked.
"Okay." Antonio leaned over and watched as Jes typed in 'baby boy names that mean miracle or gift'.
"I like these two." Jes pointed to the screen.
"Jesse or Jonathan?"
"Jesse and Jonathan… both mean gift from God." Jes said.
"You have a thing for 'J's, did you notice that?" Antonio pointed out. "Your name starts with J… Jay… starts with J… Jacquie…"
"I get that." Jes smirked. "I think they're perfect names."
"Okay… then, coin toss?" Antonio reached into his pocket. "Heads for Jesse and tails for Jonathan?"
"Sure." Jes was happy that they had actually come to a fairly easy solution.
Antonio tossed the coin up and caught it. "And, it's Jonathan. Hey, babe… you sure you want the baby to have a name that long."
"It's not so bad." Jes said.
"Well, it isn't if we don't have middle names… which you very adamantly insisted that they have."
"Oh… well… maybe we can shorten it."
"Like what?"
"Jon?" Jes suggested.
"Game of Thrones reference?"
"No, just Jon… it's still similar… still means gift… just not Apostle John."
"Okay, Jonathan it is, and if need be, we shorten it to Jon." Antonio kissed her. "Have we even talked middle names?"
"No, but we haven't asked for godparents either."
"Who are you thinking?"
"Traditionally it would be family… I have two brothers to choose from, you have one… you're also really close with Kevin… you pick."
"I think that Jay and Javier would be great godfathers."
"Victoria could be a godmother… I kinda already asked Jacquie."
"Okay, well… I think it's decided."
Jes nodded. "Mateo Javier Dawson and Jonathan Jay Dawson."
"Works for me." Antonio smiled. "You, uh… feeling up to going to meet them?"
Jes nodded. "God, yes… please…"
Antonio reached over and pushed the call button.
Will poked his head in and in his best Lurch impression, he said. "You rang."
"Will, don't make me laugh, please."
"Sorry. How you feeling?" Will asked.
"I hurt, but I think I'll feel a lot better holding my sons."
Will smiled. "They want their mom… it'll be good for everyone… uh, did Antonio give you the heads up on what to expect in there."
"No, we… we focused on names instead."
"Ah, well… that's a good start." Will hugged his sister. "What are my adorable nephews' names?"
"Mateo Javier and Jonathan Jay."
"Beautiful strong names." Will said.
"They both mean 'gift from God'." Jes whispered.
"Well, sis, that they definitely are… um, we'll have to gown you… and the boys are hooked up to a CPAP machine… that means they're breathing on their own but the machine helps make sure their lungs stay open and work properly. They have IVs… some heart monitors… it's all normal… they are small… umm… Mateo is the first one?"
Antonio nodded.
"Mateo is 3 pounds 5 ounces and Jonathan is 3 pounds even… they're tough like you and Antonio."
"Um, before all this, I read about kangaroo care… how it helps the baby bond with their mother… helps build immunity… can… can I do that?" Jes asked as they helped her get into a wheelchair.
"I bet if we ask Dr. Manning, the twins' pediatrician… she can tell you."
"Okay." Jes whispered as they headed off to the NICU together. She clung to Antonio's hand the whole way.
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
They were greeted by Dr. Manning at the desk. She smiled kindly to Jes. "Hi, Jes… I'm Natalie… I'm the one watching over your little boys."
"Hi Natalie." Jes shook her hand. "Thank you… Will said you're the best."
"Well… I'll take whatever compliments I can get." Natalie said.
"Um, Will said I should ask you about giving them kangaroo care."
Natalie nodded. "Kangaroo care is strongly encouraged. Considering the boys have bare minimum needs, it's definitely going to help them get stronger faster." She turned to Hannah. "Let's get the room set up for that, then Jes and Antonio can go in there."
Hannah nodded and headed to the room where Jonathan and Mateo were.
"Um, Antonio… would you be into helping Jes with the Kangaroo care?"
"Sure… but I'm not sure what it means."
"It means that they put the baby on your bare chest and then cover you with a blanket. It's really good for preemies… they recognize your voice and even your scent… it helps them regulate their body temperature and heart rates… some doctors are against it… I'm personally all for it." Natalie concluded.
"But, what about the gowns and all that?" Antonio was a little confused.
"You haven't run through mud lately, have you, Detective?" Natalie asked.
"No."
"Then, it's safe for them."
"We named them." Jes whispered.
"Oh, perfect." Natalie said. "We'll get their birth certificates finalized too. What are their names."
"The bigger twin is Mateo Javier and the smaller, Jonathan Jay." Antonio squeezed Jes' hand.
"Okay, good."
Hannah returned. "All ready, Dr. Manning."
"Perfect. Uh, Will… can you get to working on their birth certificates? We'll get Jes and Antonio set up?"
"Sure thing." Will kissed his sister's cheek. "It's going to be okay."
Antonio wheeled Jes towards the twins' room. There was a second chair now. They helped Jes onto it and Natalie undid the back of her gown.
"Okay, so Jes, we're going to take Mateo and put him on your chest, then we're going to cover you both in a blanket."
Jes nodded. Hannah undid her gown while Natalie took Mateo from the incubator. He cried a little bit as he was moved from his little home.
Natalie shushed him. "Shh, Mateo… it's okay. Mommy's right here." She gently placed Mateo on Jes' chest.
The instant Mateo's skin touched Jes', his crying stopped. A tear fell from Jes' eye. "Oh, oh my… he's so small."
"He knows his mom." Hannah smiled. "It's going to be okay." She wiped the tear from Jes' cheek. "You're not going to hurt him."
Natalie draped a blanket across Jes and Mateo. She turned to Antonio. "You can lose the shirt, Antonio… Kangaroo care means bare chest."
"Oh… right." Antonio blushed.
"Antonio, I'm not overly worried… just… hold Jonathan… this is the best… best feeling ever." Jes was humming to Jonathan now.
Antonio pulled off his shirt and hung it on the back of Jes' wheelchair. He sat in the chair next to Jes. Hannah laid Jonathan on his bare chest. Natalie draped the blanket across them. Jes had been right. Holding him like this was better than being gowned up like a HAZMAT operator. Jonathan's breathing began to regulate. "Wow."
Natalie smiled. "If you need anything, just push the button that's between you. For now, enjoy your time with your sons."
Hannah and Natalie left the room.
"Antonio, they're so small, but they're perfect." Jes put her pinky finger in Mateo's hand. He instinctively squeezed it. "My heart hurts with all the love I feel right now. I'm so, so happy that I fought."
"I am too." Antonio kissed the top of Jonathan's head. "How are we going to tell them apart?"
Jes looked between their two sons. "Good question… right now, it's easy because they're a little different in size, but that'll change."
"They have dark hair… did you notice that?" Antonio smiled.
"It's adorable… I wonder if it'll be curly like mine." Jes whispered.
"Who knows." Antonio gave his pinky to Jonathan. Like his brother, he grasped onto it tightly. "Wow… he's got a strong grip."
"That's a good sign." Jes smiled. "Oh, God… our house isn't ready for twins."
"We'll worry about that later… let's just focus on you and them getting healthy." Antonio said.
There was a knock at the door. Will poked his head in. "Hey, uh… someone is very eager to talk to Jes…" He held out an iPad.
"Who is it?" Antonio asked.
"Antonio?" Jay's voice came from the iPad.
"Jay." Jes gasped. She looked to Antonio and nodded.
"Yeah, we'll talk to him." He replied.
Will grabbed a stool and sat down before turning the iPad to face Jes and Antonio.
"Hey, Jay." Jes said. She could see he'd been crying. His eyes were red.
"Jes." Jay gasped. "I'm so, so sorry."
"Jay… don't… please don't apologize…" Jes said cautiously. "I don't think I can handle any more of that."
"Jes, I should be there."
"Jay, you're doing your job." Jes countered.
"Jay, we get it… but you are needed there." Antonio added. "Look, Jes is alive… she's going to recover."
"Javi said that… that she went into labour."
Jes looked to Will. "You didn't tell him?"
"Not my place, sis." Will said. "I told him that and that alone… the rest… he needed to hear from you and Antonio."
"Can you guys tell me? Please… I've been worried sick for almost 15 hours now."
"It's… it's been that long?" Jes had lost all track of time.
"You went into labour just before midnight." Antonio said.
"Wait… what day is it?" Jes asked him.
"May 24." Antonio answered.
"Your birthday." Jes whispered.
Will looked between the couple. "Oh shit."
"What exactly am I missing?" Jay asked from the iPad.
"May 24… is my birthday." Antonio answered.
"And your sons' too." Will said. "They share their birthday with you."
"Sons? Plural? Can… can someone please fill me in?" Jay pleaded.
"I had identical twins…" Jes replied. "One was hiding behind the other this whole time… they didn't see him until my labour started."
"We had to do a C-Section." Will added.
"Um… I almost died… actually… I did die." Jes said. "And, I had a completely unique experience… I saw Daddy… and Nadia."
"Jes?" Will asked.
Jay was just as lost. "What?"
"They said I had a choice… fight and live or just go with them… after some convincing, I chose to fight, Jay… for our family… for my sons… for Daddy and Nadia… She… she told me that she'd always watch over the twins as their guardian angel… she… also told me to tell Erin not to blame herself. That Nadia isn't suffering and that Erin can't feel like this is her fault."
Jay was taken back. He knew Jes' faith was one thing, but this near-death-experience sounded a legitimate as anything else. Nadia would tell Jes that. "I'm so glad… happy that you chose to fight, Jes… this world is so much better with you in it." He cleared his throat. "Can… can I see my nephews?"
Jes smiled, blinking away the tears. "Yeah. Uh, Will… a little help?"
Will got up, keeping the iPad stable, and lifted the blanket to reveal Mateo's face. "Can you see him?"
"Oh Wow!" Jay gasped. "He's so small… is, is he okay?"
"Yeah, Jay. He is. This is Mateo Javier Dawson. He's the bigger one of the two… a whole 3 pounds and 5 ounces." Jes whispered. "And he's perfect."
Will covered Jes and Mateo back up and went to Antonio, who had already uncovered Jonathan's face.
Antonio introduced him. "Jay, meet Jonathan Jay Dawson."
"Jonathan Jay?" Jay's voice cracked.
Will smiled to Jes. "Ask him." He mouthed.
"Jay, would you be Jonathan's godfather with Jacquie?"
"Yes… I would be honoured." Jay's voice was shaking. "Jes, as soon as I can… I'm coming home… I want to see these guys in person."
"We'll be here." Antonio smiled as he covered up Jonathan. "Look, uh, I'll call you tomorrow… Jes and the twins need rest, and I think Jes needs to feed them."
"Oh, yeah… yeah… I'll be by my phone. Kiss those beautiful babies for me… I love you guys." Jay said before ending the Skype call.
"Can I?" Jes asked Will as he put the iPad away.
"Yeah. We'll disconnect their CPAPs temporarily, and you can definitely feed them. Actually, breastfeeding them is probably the best thing. Your body produces extra proteins, vitamins and calories that they'll need to grow stronger… if they don't nurse as often as you need to relieve the pressure, we'll get you set up to pump and we'll store the milk for them."
"Can Natalie come and uh, help?" Jes asked, stroking Mateo's cheek. "I love you, Will and you saved mine and their lives, but I'd really rather not have my big brother teach me how to breastfeed."
Will's cheeks flooded with colour. "I get it. I'll go get her."
"You just embarrassed the hell out of your big brother." Antonio whispered.
"He did it to me a few times growing up." Jes was admiring her son. "Is Jonathan's breathing okay?"
"Yeah. His breathing and heartbeat seem to have leveled out." Antonio motioned to Jonathan's heart monitor. He stroked Jonathan's hair. "He's perfect."
"They both are."
"Hey, guys." Natalie said as she came in the room. "Will says you want to try and nurse the boys?"
Jes nodded. "Yes, the rest of my birthing plan when out the window… I don't want to lose this part. Will said that my milk is best for them right now?"
"Yeah, your body knows how to take care of the babies… even if they're early. Who's first?"
"May as well start with Mateo… He's already here." Jes said.
"Okay. Just let me disconnect his CPAP." Natalie quickly undid the CPAP.
"Is he going to be able to breathe on his own without it?" Antonio asked.
Natalie nodded. "Yeah, but to be safe, I'm gonna stick around and make sure everything goes smoothly. So, Jes… this is going to sound weird… but I want you to move him closer to your breast and kinda guide his mouth. If he's hungry, he'll latch on… it'll take a little bit of time, but the milk will flow. Don't panic if it doesn't happen right, right away."
Jes did as she was asked. It didn't take long before Mateo's tiny mouth latched onto her. "Oh, ouch!"
"Jes?" Antonio asked.
"That's smart… he's like a little vacuum cleaner." Jes groaned. "Oh… I feel it… he's nursing."
Natalie smiled. "Yep. Good. Mateo will grow better with mommy's milk over any formula we could ever give him. It's going to be weird at first, the sensation… but it's going to become so natural, it won't be a surprise anymore."
"Is that your second baby?" Jes asked.
Natalie's hand went to her belly. "Uh, no… my first."
"But, you know so much about all this." Jes said.
"I've gone to my share of pre-natal classes and I did specialize in this."
Jes blushed. "Oh, right… sorry… I didn't mean to pry."
"It's okay, Jes… this is all new to you… you can ask all the questions you want."
"How do I know when he's done?" Jes was worried he'd get sick from getting too much.
"He'll just stop on his own. That's normal. It can take anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour."
"He could eat like this for an hour?!" Jes exclaimed. "Oh boy."
"Most preemies don't last that long… it's usually 10-15 minutes for the first few times, until they get a little bigger."
Jes sighed in relief. "Thank God… I don't know if I have the energy to nurse for an hour straight."
"It's okay, Jes… one step at a time." Natalie reassured her.
Mateo nursed for a little under 15 minutes before he was asleep. Natalie carefully took him.
Antonio placed Jonathan on Jes and smiled. "You've got this, baby… you're a natural." He kissed her. "They're going to be home with us in no time."
"He's just as strong as his brother." Jes winced as Jonathan latched onto her other breast. "Oh…"
"It's okay." Antonio rubbed her shoulder. "You're doing great."
After about 15 minutes, Jonathan was also back in his incubator. Both boys were sound asleep. Antonio pulled his shirt back on and help Jes back into her wheelchair. He pushed her back to her room. Will and Maggie helped her into bed.
"How you feeling?" Will asked her as Maggie took her vitals.
"Tired." Jes yawned. "Antonio… we forgot to discuss circumcision."
"That can wait til morning." Antonio shook his head. "They're not leaving tomorrow."
"Antonio's right." Will said. "Get some sleep."
Jes didn't need to be told twice. She closed her eyes and went into a peaceful sleep.
"Antonio, you should get some sleep… you've been here over a week."
"My sons are here… Jes is here… I'm not leaving them… not until all three of them are completely out of the woods."
"Okay, I'll see if we can get a cot… just… promise me you'll sleep." Antonio nodded. 5 minutes passed and Will reappeared with a cot and some pillows and an extra blanket. "Here you go."
"Thanks, Will… for everything."
"No problem… and Happy Birthday, brother… you got the, probably, most amazing birthday gift ever."
"Oh, I know I did." Antonio pulled off his shoes. "Thank you… for saving all of them."
"I wasn't going to lose them…" Will turned off the light. "We'll see you in the morning."
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
Jes woke up a little disoriented. Her stomach was hurting and she was thirsty. She groaned as she pushed herself up. There was a faint beeping coming from outside her room and she could hear someone snoring. She looked over and saw Antonio sound asleep on the cot that had been brought into her room. It was then that she remembered that she was in the hospital. She wanted to go see Mateo and Jonathan. She felt as if they needed to nurse again, but she didn't want to wake Antonio. He looked like he was actually getting a restful sleep. She pushed the button on the side of her bed and a nurse popped in.
"Hi, Jes." She said softly. "I'm your night nurse, Liz."
"Hi, Liz." Jes whispered. "Um, I have this… this feeling…" She motioned to her breasts. "Like I have to nurse."
"That's perfectly normal… Hannah told me your breastfeeding, so let's get you in a chair and we'll take you."
"Don't… wake him, please… I'm pretty sure that neither him nor my brothers have had a decent sleep since this happened… I want him to sleep."
"Sure thing." Liz smiled. She quickly left the room and returned with a wheelchair. "How's your pain?"
"The incision hurts… but I'll feel better once I see the boys."
"Alright… let's go." Liz pushed her quietly out of the room and headed towards the NICU.
Jes was surprised to see parents with their babies in the other rooms. "Do visiting hours not apply here?"
"NICU is different… parents, sometimes aren't lucky to get to ever take their baby home. So, we let them stay with them, have as many memories as possible." Liz whispered.
"That's so sad… how do you do this…every day?" Jay asked
"I try not to think about the sadness." Liz answered. "Your little boys are so cute, by the way."
"Are they doing okay?"
"Their breathing is getting better and there haven't been any negative changes in their vitals… They're doing great." Liz squeezed her shoulder. "They're strong… they're fighters."
"That they are… and they have some very special guardian angels." Jes whispered.
Liz wheeled her between the two incubators. "Dr. Manning said that if they keep this up for a whole other week, they may get to come off CPAP."
"That would be amazing." Jes poked her hand into the incubator and stroked Jonathan's cheek. "I'd be able to hold them more that way, right?"
"Definitely. And once they hit 5 pounds and hold it, and their other tests are clear, they can go home."
"Antonio still has to get the house ready for twins… we… kinda only knew about one of them."
"A happy surprise?" Liz set up the chair for Jes to nurse.
"Very much, um… do you have an iPad… or something… I played music for them all the time… and I'd like to keep that going."
"Sure thing." Liz helped her into the chair. "Be right back."
Jes tried to get as comfortable as she could. Liz returned with an iPad and a stand to hold it.
Liz put her finger to her lips. "Don't tell your brother that I borrowed his iPad… but it was the only one I could find."
"Sweet." Jes giggled. "Your secret is safe with me. Um, can you open up a YouTube window."
"Sure." Liz opened up the YouTube app. "What are you looking for?"
"It's called 'Never Alone'." Jes said softly.
Liz got the window open and hit 'play'. She then went and got Jonathan from his incubator. Jes undid her gown so she could nurse them. Liz placed Jonathan on her and turned to leave. "When you're done, just push the call button. I'll come help you switch."
"Thanks." Jes whispered. She let Jonathan latch on to begin nursing. She listened to the song as it softly played. The words had always had a deep meaning for her, but it was that much deeper now. The song ended and Jes reached over and made it repeat. This time, she sang along.
"May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home
May you always have plenty
The glass never empty
Know in your belly
You're never alone
May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
As every year passes
They mean more than gold
May you win and stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone
Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you, stay with you
Baby, you're never alone
I have to be honest
As much as I wanted
I'm not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone
Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you, stay with you
Baby, you're never alone
My love will follow you, stay with you
Baby, you're never alone
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone"
Soon, Jonathan stopped nursing and fussed a little. Jes kept singing to him and soon he settled down. "You never will be alone, little one. Between your family here, and your guardian angels… you're never going to be alone." She kissed his cheek. "Je t'aimes, mon petit."
"Hey, there you are." Antonio's voice came from the doorway. "Will, I found her… and your iPad."
"Shh… Jonathan's sleeping." Jes motioned to their sleeping son in her arms.
Will poked his head in. "At least she's not missing and thanks… uh, Jes… why did you need my iPad?"
"Music… I played music for them when I was pregnant… it calmed them."
"Fair enough." Will said. "Need to switch?"
"Yeah… and Jonathan needs a change, I think." Jes smirked.
"I think that's something Daddy can handle." Antonio said. He went to where Will signaled the diapers were.
Will laid Mateo in Jes' arms. "Here we go, Mateo… Mommy's here for you buddy."
"Thanks, Will… but you both should still be asleep… it's why I hit the call button."
"Antonio woke up and called me… you weren't in bed."
"I needed to nurse… and I missed them." Jes whispered as Mateo began to suckle.
"At least they're taking it and you're doing great." Will kissed her cheek. "Being a mom is probably the most natural thing for you."
"Yeah yeah." Jes laughed. "How's Jonathan?"
"All happy now that he's clean." Antonio placed him back in the incubator. "Will, can you hook him back up?"
"Yeah, I got it." Will went to check on Jonathan. "He's doing really good. Go back to sleep, Jonathan… you grow better that way."
"Can I nurse in peace, please?" Jes asked.
Will nodded. "Yeah… yeah… uh… buzz when you're ready."
Antonio sat on the stool next to Jes. "I heard you singing to them."
"I used to listen to that song a lot a while back… and… the words just mean so much more now… especially for them."
"It was beautiful." Antonio whispered. "You're beautiful."
"I look like a bruised peach."
"But, you're my peach." Antonio kissed her bare shoulder. "Want me to hit play again?"
Jes nodded and sang the same song to Mateo. Antonio just sat back and watched. He was starting to wish they would've gotten married sooner, but right now, that was the least of his worries. He just wanted Jes and his sons to come home and be healthy.
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
A few days later, they got the news that Jonathan and Mateo were being taken off CPAP because they were able to breathe room air on their own. They were going to be monitored for a couple more days in the NICU before being placed in a step down unit of the NICU. Jes was ecstatic. This meant that the medication she'd been given to mature their lungs had worked, and despite being 10 weeks early, they were gaining weight at a healthy pace. Natalie and the main neonatologist had explained that they may be able to take the twins home by the end of June.
"Wow," Will said as he went into Jes' room. "If they only spend a month in here, that's amazing… most… spend at least the amount of time left in the pregnancy in here."
"They're fighters like their mom." Antonio grinned. "So, any news on when she can come home?"
"Uh, well… tomorrow." Will smiled. "As long as she takes it easy and no lifting, no cleaning, vacuuming, cooking… rest… until the incision is fully healed. Comprende?"
Jes nodded. "As long as I can come and see them every day… I'll do whatever you want me to."
"You can… and on that note, you guys all have visitors." Will grinned.
"Who?" Antonio asked.
"Dad! Mom!" Diego ran through the door.
"Careful!" Antonio and Will exclaimed.
"I wasn't going to jump on her." Diego said sadly.
"I know, buddy." Antonio said. "Just have to make sure."
"Come here, Diego." Jes patted the bed. "I could really use a gentle hug."
"We missed you." Diego said as he hugged her. "So much."
"I missed you too, buddy." Jes said, kissing his forehead. "Where's Eva?"
"Coming with Tia Gaby, Tia Victoria, Tio Javier and Abuela and Abuelo." Diego answered. "Is it true?"
"Is what true, Diego?" Jes asked.
"That the twins were a surprise… and they were born on Dad's birthday?"
"Yeah, it's true… turns out Jonathan was hiding behind Mateo all the time… he liked playing hide-and-seek." Jes laughed. "And, yeah… they were born on Dad's birthday… at I think it's 12:30 in the morning?"
"1 am, but close enough." Will laughed. "I hear the rest of them coming. I'll go get the boys, and you guys can all visit in here."
"They're okay to not be in the NICU?" Antonio asked.
"It's not going to be all day, but it's better than taking them in one at a time to see them." Will turned and left.
Eva came in and smiled the instant she saw that Jes was okay. "Mom!"
"Hi, sweetheart." Jes grinned. "Come give me a hug… I've missed you guys."
"Are you feeling better?" Eva asked.
"Yes, much better now that I've been able to see you guys."
"Are the babies okay?"
Jes nodded. "Yeah, Uncle Will went to get them… so everyone can meet them."
"Really?"
"Yes, Eva… really."
Eva squealed a little bit. "I can't wait."
Gaby, Javier, Victoria and Antonio's parents were finally in the room. They came baring balloons, flowers and teddy bears. Rounds of hugs and kisses were passed and Jes answered a few more times that she was doing fine. There was a knock at the door.
"I believe I come bringing the guests of honour." Will said.
Jes repositioned herself in her bed. "Thanks, Will."
"No problem. Uh, Antonio, you'll be able to help Jes out?"
"No problem, Will. I've got this."
Will laughed and headed back out of the room. Antonio's family flocked to the tiny basinets that Will had brought in. "Oh que lindo!" Was the exclamations.
"Antonio, son perfectos." His father patted him on the back. "Pequeños pero perfectos."
"Gracias, Papi." Antonio smiled. "Um, Eva… Diego… If we sit you guys down, would you want to hold your brothers?"
They didn't need to be asked twice. They sat in the chairs and waited. Jes just smiled as Antonio placed Mateo in Diego's arms then placed Jonathan in Eva's arms.
"Dad… they're so small." Eva whispered.
"Babies are supposed to be small." Diego answered.
"Not this small."
"Hey, you two." Gaby walked over. "Your little brothers are a little smaller than normal babies because they were born sooner than normal, but they're healthy and they'll grow fast."
"Cool." Diego said. "Look at all the hair… it's so curly."
"Mom says that's her fault." Antonio laughed.
Jes just shook her head. "Uncle Will said I can come home tomorrow."
"Really?" Eva was so happy. For the last couple weeks, they'd been staying with their grandparents and that was fun, but they really wanted to be home with both their parents. "What about them?"
"Well, they'll be here for a little while longer until they get big and strong… then we get to bring them home."
"How long?" Diego asked.
"Uncle Will says by the end of June."
"That's still a long time away." Diego looked at his little brother.
"Yeah, but when they come home, they'll be strong enough to not have to come back." Antonio added. "We'll be able to come and see them here."
That seemed to satisfy them.
"Dad, which one am I holding?" Eva asked. "They look the exact same."
"You have Jonathan and Diego is holding Mateo."
"How are we going to tell them apart when we bring them home?" Eva asked.
Constanza grinned. "I thought of a solution… as soon as Javi told us it was twins." She pulled out a gift bag and handed it to Jes. "For the first little while."
Jes pulled out some of the tissue paper to reveal multiple sets of onesies. Each one either had a tiny M or a tiny J on the chest. Then there were little jerseys that had a number 1 and a number 2 on the back. "Oh, Mami…" Jes wiped away the tears of joy. "They're perfect."
Constanza hugged her. "You will do fantastic as a mother… you are very, very strong."
The family stayed to visit until it was time for the boys' feeding. Antonio walked them out. Gaby led her parents and the kids out to the parking lot while Javi and Victoria stayed behind.
"Okay, you two, what's up?" Antonio leaned against a pillar outside of Med.
"Whatta ya mean?" Javi asked.
"You two have been acting weird all day. I love you both, but stop beating around the bush."
Victoria sighed. "He won't quit… not until we tell him."
"Tell me what?!" Antonio was getting angry.
Javier groaned. "Fuck, look… just know that we've both fought insanely hard against this."
"Can someone tell me what's going on? PLEASE?!"
"Can you at least sit down, 'Tonio?" Javier pointed to some benches in a secluded part of the parking lot.
Antonio tossed his hands up in the air. "Fine."
They walked over to what turned out to be a quiet, little garden. Antonio sat down on a bench and shook his head. "This is about Yates, isn't it?"
Victoria and Javier sat next to each other on the bench across from him. She nodded. "Sadly."
"Just tell me." Antonio braced himself for the worst possible news, that Yates was going free.
"First, Yates is defending himself in court." Victoria started with the easiest news.
"So that wasn't a rumour?" Antonio asked.
"No, it wasn't… to make matters worse… he's making Nadia out to be some party girl… or that she was back into turning tricks." Victoria took a deep breath. "Right now, it's looking like he could actually get away with this… My boss, Rafael Barba… he's doing his damndest, but Yates is using his charm and good looks to convince the jury that CPD and SVU were on a witch hunt to make him the guilty party… even though all the evidence in world says he did it."
"Okay, so why am I getting the feeling that's the bad news but there's even worse news?"
"Because it does get worse." Javier sighed. "Way, way worse."
"Fuck… don't… no… I don't… no…" Antonio knew exactly what Victoria was going to say.
"I'm so, so sorry, Antonio… Rafael says that the best way to guarantee he gets put away for good… is for Jes to testify."
"NO!" Antonio exploded. "NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL IS SHE TESTIFYING… NOT AFTER WHAT… NO, FORGET IT… MAKE IT WORK SOME OTHER WAY!" He began to hyperventilate. He put his head between his legs to try and calm himself. "No." He wept.
Javier didn't know what to do. He hadn't seen his big brother like this in years. He looked to Victoria. She nodded and went to Antonio's side. "Antonio… please… trust me when I say this… I don't want Jes to be put through this… not… not after everything she's been through. I love you and her… and the kids… the psychological effect of what he's done is torture enough… making her relive it… I don't want her to… Barba doesn't either, but if we can't convince the jury that Yate's is guilty of rape and murder beyond a reasonable doubt, he'll walk… he'll do it again… and again."
"Victoria… she can't take it… she lost it when Nadia died… this monster caused our sons to be born too soon… she almost died… more than once… I can't… we can't ask her to go through that again…" Antonio wept on her shoulder.
Victoria rubbed his back like she would for her own children. "Antonio... we have to at least talk to her."
"Why?" Antonio sniffled.
"Because… if she doesn't willingly testify… Barba is going to be forced to subpoena her…"
"OH FUCK!" Antonio punched the benched. His knuckles were throbbing and one was bleeding.
"We told you that we tried everything and Barba's not a heartless D.A." Javier said. "He's one of the best D.A.'s New York has had in years… he fights dirty when he has too… and sadly… he has a point… if the jury saw a survivor… heard her story… what he did to her, and the repercussions… it'll make them reconsider Nadia… that she wasn't a prostitute anymore."
Antonio wiped away the tears that were flowing from his eyes. "She's been through so much… Yates will find dirt on her… he'll drag her through the mud too."
"Barba won't let it get that far." Javier tried to reassure his brother.
Antonio cleared his throat. "So, if… and I mean, IF… she agrees and isn't forced to… will she testify from here… or are we going to have to go to New York."
"Barba wants her there… he says it'll throw Yates off his game. There haven't been other survivors… he's used to being in control… he won't be…" Victoria said.
"If Jes is there." Antonio cringed as he finished the thought. "Okay… um… let's go tell her… I can tell you right now, she ain't gonna like it."
The three of them headed back to Jes' room. The twins were back in the nursery, sleeping. Jes was channel surfing. "Hey, babe." She greeted Antonio. "Oh, hey… Javi, Victoria… I thought you'd headed home."
"Not yet." Victoria smiled. "Um, we have some things to talk to you about… and maybe we should get Will in here… with a sedative."
Jes gripped Antonio's hand so hard that he began losing sensation in his fingers. "Does it have anything to do with Nadia?" Her voice broke.
Victoria nodded. Javier went to get Will. He knew that Will wouldn't be any happier than Antonio had been, but they needed to get this over with. Will returned, armed with a syringe with a sedative.
"Will." Jes said.
"Yeah, Javi gave me the Cliff Notes version." Will growled. "He uh… yeah." Will signaled to Antonio to try his best to keep Jes calm.
Victoria slowly began to explain the situation to Jes. Jes' reacted the way every knew she would. She broke down. She cried. She didn't want to have to relive that nightmare.
"Please… I don't… I can't." Jes pleaded.
"Jes, baby…" Antonio leaned in. "If you don't… they'll force you to."
"You mean, no matter what… I don't have a choice?" Jes sniffled.
"Jes, do you want the sedative?" Will asked.
She shook her head. "No… NO. No more drugs… just… finish."
Victoria and Javier finished explaining the situation. Antonio asked them to let Jes, Will and him discuss the situation. They nodded and turned to leave.
"Wait!" Jes exclaimed. She turned to Will. "If I do this, will the twins be okay?"
"We'll save some of your milk… and if they need to, they'll be given formula… just until you come back." Will said.
"Am I okay to travel?" Jes asked.
"Under medical supervision." Will concluded.
Jes turned to Antonio. With tears in her eyes, she asked. "Will, would you come with us… as my medical supervision?"
Will blinked away some tears. "Yeah, I'll go… and I'll go as your brother too."
Jes turned back to Victoria. "Tell your boss, I'll do it."
*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*TR*
A/N: Okay, so it was supposed to be a three-part sequence, but I guess it'll be four. I couldn't add the trial in with over 11, 000 words already. More to come ASAP… I know you guys are always wanting more, but these chapters are an art form for me… so they take time. Stay tuned for more… Let me know what you think! Lots of love, Nicole.
Credit goes to Lady Antebellum for their song: Never Alone... that song is helping me through a lot right now, and I just hope you take a chance to listen to the song. It's very inspirational.