The world fell silent.
Everything moved in slow motion. Lily's eyes went wide as he stumbled back, opening his mouth in a silent shout, shock and disbelief and pain mingling on his face. Blood trickled from the wound, seeping into his clothes and painting them red from the inside. Mikado yelled something, but it sounded distant and faint and lightyears away.
Misono stood frozen in place. His heart had stopped beating. His eyes were fixed on Lily, blank and wide with horror as his body and mind went numb and cold.
Then there was a rush of footsteps, and four figures stormed in through the door. "Lily!"
Misono snapped out of his trance. These four... It couldn't be.
"Shirota?" he rasped, staring at the boy in front of him. "Wh-What are you– why–"
"I'll explain later!" Darting forward, Shirota caught Lily in his arms, gently lowering him to the ground. "Kuro, my phone! Your phone! Any phone! We need an ambulance! Tetsu, Hugh, go after the maid!"
The two darted off, running after the maid as she fled. A short moment later gunshots blared from outside, Mitsuki's voice yelling something across the garden. Kuro reached into his pocket and shoved Shirota's phone into his hands, and Shirota grabbed it and dialed in the emergency number without a second's delay, holding it up to his ear.
"Mi...sono..."
Lily lifted his head, his face deathly pale and tight with pain. "Misono..." he gritted out. "I'm... so sorry..."
No. No, this wasn't happening. This wasn't happening!
"Shut up!" Misono yelled at him, running up to his side and pushing him down. "Don't move! Don't speak! You won't die here, you bastard!"
"I... wouldn't be so certain." Lily's breath was coming in gasps as his face turned paler and paler. "In case I won't make it... please, Misono... at least know that I'm sorry... for everything..."
"No!" Misono burst out, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. "You'll be all right! Shut up and stop talking, Lily!"
"Don't... worry, Misono." More blood was seeping into Lily's shirt, and he was starting to wheeze and cough. "I just... want you to know that... I only wanted to... protect you... my little brother."
He coughed again and closed his eyes. Misono grabbed his hand, squeezing it in his grip, frantic and desperate. "Lily!" he called. "Lily, hang in there! You won't die! I'll never forgive you if you die on me, you bastard! Do you hear that? Lily!"
Lily didn't open his eyes, but he smiled. His lips formed words that Misono could only guess, but he thought he could faintly hear him whisper, "I'll do my best."
Misono didn't let go of his hand until the paramedics arrived. They did what they could to slow down the bleeding and carried him off to the ambulance, Misono stumbling after them, sitting down at Lily's side as the sirens blared and the ambulance rushed through the streets. The world had gone numb. Everything outside the doors of the ambulance had stopped existing. All Misono wanted was for Lily to make it out of this alive.
He still didn't understand so many things. He still couldn't believe Lily had been lying to him, hiding the truth about his mother's and Mikuni's disappearances. He still couldn't believe his childhood friend and brother had betrayed him. He hadn't forgiven him. But he didn't hate him. He wanted to talk things out with him and understand why he had done everything he did. He wanted to know if Lily had a good reason for lying to him all these years. He was sure there had to be a reason. Lily wouldn't do this to him without an explanation.
Please make it out of this. Please, Lily. I'm begging you.
"...sono..."
He blinked. "Lily... Lily, are you awake?"
Lily's eyelids fluttered open, just the tiniest bit. His hand shifted slightly, motioning towards his pocket. "Keys," he breathed. "Take them."
"But–"
"Please..."
Misono didn't know what else to say. He simply nodded, reached into Lily's pocket, and pulled out his bundle of keys to hide it neatly in his own pocket just as the ambulance stopped moving and the doors opened, figures rushing in to push Lily's stretcher outside and into the hospital. He followed numbly, not knowing where he was going or what was about to happen. He simply knew that he needed to be with Lily, needed to stay by his side until someone could tell him that he would be all right.
Lily disappeared behind closed doors, and someone led him into a waiting room, sitting him down on a bench. A kind voice offered him hot chocolate, but he couldn't swallow a single drop. His eyes remained locked on the closed door, waiting, waiting, waiting for what felt like hours.
It was dark. Time had stopped. The doors stayed closed, with no news from Lily. No one else was in the waiting room except for him. His hands curled around the bundle of keys in his pocket to try and keep himself grounded. It was cold and heavy and very much real, more real than anything else in this room, more real than the numb feeling of dread and panic that had settled in his chest.
Lily had given him these keys. Did that mean he wanted him to unlock the door to these secrets now? He didn't need that. If Lily wanted him to know what had happened, Misono would rather hear the story from him directly. Unless...
Had Lily given him these just in case...?
He shook his head. Don't think about it!
"Misono?"
"Misono-senpai!"
The voices cut through the daze clouding his mind, the distant surrealism of everything around him, sounding clear and alive and very much real. He couldn't have imagined them. They were here. He wasn't alone.
But why... How...?
"Shirota?" he whispered, raising his head and turning around as the two of them stormed into the room, skidding to a halt in front of him, worried and breathless. "Sendagaya?"
"Misono!" Shirota shouted, grabbing his shoulders and staring straight into his eyes. "Are you okay? How's Lily? Is he...?"
"I... don't know." Misono lowered his head. "They have said nothing yet. We can only hope." He swallowed thickly. Shirota's hands on his shoulders tightened. They were warm and steady, just what he needed right now, but... but...
"You..." he whispered, not looking into his friends' eyes. "What are you doing here? Why did you..." His voice trailed off, the unspoken question resting heavy on his tongue.
Why did you come here when I was trying to cut you all off?
But Shirota's voice was gentle when he replied, calm, as if he was saying the most simple thing in the world. "Dodo-san drove us here," he answered. "We got into the car and went after the ambulance, sorry we couldn't be here faster." There was a smile in his voice. "We're here to wait with you."
Misono looked up, not understanding a thing. Why? Why was he acting like this was such a normal thing? Why was he pretending Misono hadn't hung up on them and acted like he didn't know them at all?
"You don't have to," he said quietly. "Nobody asked you to! Why were you even at my house in the first place? I thought–"
I thought that if I tried to cut you all off, I would lose you for sure.
"Lily told us," Shirota said simply.
Misono's eyes went round. He looked at Shirota and then at Sendagaya. Both nodded, and the realization hit him full force.
Suddenly everything made sense.
"L-Lily..." he stuttered out, all blood draining from his face. "He... went to retrieve all of you, am I right? So that was why... why he wouldn't tell me where he went... and why he acted strange at dinner... and I thought..."
He had thought Lily was hiding an important secret and started doubting him, even though Lily had simply not been allowed to tell him he had brought his friends over when his father had forbidden it.
Lily had been trying to help him, and he thought... he had doubted and suspected him for all the wrong reasons...
But Lily still lied to you, he thought. Lily has been hiding such an important secret from you all this time.
But that had nothing to do with his suspicious behavior! And no matter what he had done, whether he had hidden this secret from him or traveled halfway across the country to bring his friends here, he had always been trying to help him.
And Misono had pushed him away... told him to leave and never come back...
He needed to apologize. As soon as Lily woke up, he was going to apologize. He would apologize for all his mistakes, everything he had said and done, just like Lily deserved it.
If he woke up.
Misono swallowed hard. What if he didn't? What if Lily died? What if Misono's outburst of anger, the shock, the defenseless state it had caused would kill him in the end?
What if Lily died, and it was all his fault?
Shirota's hand rested on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. "Don't blame yourself!" he said. "It wasn't you. It was that maid, remember? Kuro and Hugh are still out looking for her. I think you recognized her too, right, Tetsu?"
Sendagaya nodded, speaking up for the first time since entering the room. "Her hair was a wig. Her real hair's short and kinda pink... I think she's that quiet girl from our school."
"Otogiri," Shirota added.
Misono looked from one to the other. Things started fitting together in his head.
"You don't mean... Tsubaki?"
"Probably." Shirota sighed. "I mean, we have no proof, but there aren't too many other groups from our school who are out to get the Servamps, right? First Hyde and now Lily..." His eyes darkened, and Misono wondered if he was thinking about Kuro, fearing he might be targeted too. "I wonder what he's trying to achieve," he said. "Is he trying to kill them? But why? I mean... what could they have done to him that's so bad he'd want to do that?"
Misono said nothing. His mind was spinning. This might be Tsubaki's doing. Tsubaki might be the one who had sent the maid to infiltrate his household, all to break their bond and then exploit Lily's weakness. The notes, his suspicion... it was all Tsubaki's doing. Why hadn't he thought of that? Why hadn't he distrusted these notes more? Why hadn't he become suspicious when he noticed both the maid and the handwriting looked vaguely familiar? He had always thought of himself as smart, and yet he had been fooled so easily, falling for the trick hook, line and sinker.
If he had been less naïve, wiser, more careful, would Lily still be safe? If that stab wound was fatal, if Lily couldn't be saved anymore... would it all have been because of his clueless stupidity?
He had failed Lily. He had failed everyone. He had always thought he was capable of protecting his friends, but he had been so blind. In the end, when he was needed the most, he hadn't been able to do a thing.
He closed his eyes. Please live, Lily. Please... If you go and die on me here, I'll never forgive myself.
The minutes ticked away, silent and painfully slow. Misono was too tense to speak. A giant lump had settled in his throat, cutting off the air and strangling his voice, too heavy to bear and too large to swallow. Shirota and Sendagaya stayed next to him in silence, quiet and reassuring but respecting his desire not to speak. He wished something would happen. He wished someone would come into the room and say something, anything. Even the bad news would be better than this endless wait, this creeping uncertainty that had settled in the whole room, weighing down on his shoulders.
With every passing second hope was growing slimmer and slimmer.
Please, Misono thought. Please end my suffering already. Tell me something, anything. No matter what.
And still nothing happened. The minutes ticked on.
He wondered how long he had been sitting there. Probably hours. It felt more like a lifetime. What were they doing so long? Was Lily even still alive? What if he was already beyond saving and nobody had told him yet?
His chest tightened at the thought. Losing Lily... He had never even imagined it was possible. For all his life Lily had always been there, only a few steps or a call away, ready to appear next to him whenever he needed him. If he lost that... if he lost the pillar he had been leaning on all this time...
Don't think about it!
And yet his heart felt cold. He might lose Lily. Lily might already be gone.
"Young Master!"
"Misono!"
"Antenna!"
Misono jolted at the familiar voices. "Father," he whispered as three figures came running into the room, one looking more shaken and excited than the other. "Mitsuki-san. Dodo-san..."
"There you are!" Mitsuki exclaimed, hurrying right up to him with tears glinting in her eyes. "We've been looking for you everywhere!"
Misono's heart skipped a beat and then started pounding at twice the speed. If everyone was here looking like this, if everyone had been looking for him... that could only mean one thing. "What's the news?" he asked hurriedly, leaping to his feet. "How is Lily?"
"His condition is stable."
Misono spun around, staring at the nurse who had walked in after his family. Hope and disbelief were warring in his head. Had he heard her right? He hadn't imagined it... had he?
"He was in luck," the nurse continued, still looking incredulous herself. "The stab hit the only spot where it wouldn't have instantly killed him... I almost refuse to believe it's coincidence. Either way he made it out safely now." She smiled. "He'll live."
Lily was safe now. Lily would live.
He wasn't in danger of losing him anymore.
Misono's defenses came tumbling down. The tension and anxiousness left his body. All the fears, all the hidden worries and loneliness were abruptly set free, mingling with joy and relief and gratitude into an overwhelming wave of emotion.
Lily would live. He wasn't going anywhere, and Misono didn't have to worry about losing him anymore.
Suddenly he felt like a small child again, finally coming back home after getting lost in the woods.
A sob escaped his lips. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he didn't even bother to blink them away. He just let them fall, wiping away at his face as more sobs shook his body, making his breath hiccup and his shoulders tremble as he stood there, crying in front of everyone and not even ashamed of his tears. His heart felt like it was going to break. His chest was overflowing. He was glad and overjoyed and terrified and lonely all at the same time, and he simply didn't know what else to do with all these feelings.
Nobody said a word. They all just stood around him in silence, waiting for his tears to dry and his sobs to subside. Shirota and Sendagaya stepped up to him and each placed a gentle, comforting hand on his shoulder. Mitsuki joined them, followed by Dodo and his father, and a moment later Misono was standing in the circle of his friends and family, sobbing into somebody's shirt without even knowing whose it was.
All he knew was that for the first time that night he finally felt safe again.
"C-Can I..." he stuttered when he had finally regained his voice again, "can I see Lily?"
The nurse smiled gently. "He's still sleeping. I'm afraid he won't wake up before morning." She rested a hand on his shoulder. "How about you sleep too? You must've had a very stressful night yourself. Do you want to go home?"
Home... back to his room, his bed. Being able to sleep without having to worry about Lily dying... That sounded good. And yet he didn't want to leave. He wanted to be here when Lily woke up, he wanted to see him, talk to him. As soon as he could.
And then, of course, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get any sleep at home, with all the unexplained mysteries still lurking in his house, waiting for an explanation.
"I don't know," he said quietly. "I'd rather stay here..."
"Trust me, you should go home. I promise we'll inform your family as soon as your friend starts waking up, and your house is only a few minutes' drive away. You'll be able to talk to him soon." The nurse walked up to the adults, her eyes still gentle and caring. "For all your sakes, you should probably go home. Unless you don't feel safe there...?"
"N-No, it's..." His father cleared his throat, looking unsure what to think. "It's well guarded."
"We already checked," Mitsuki added. "There was only one new maid joining the household recently, and she can't get back in anymore. The others won't try to stab us, Mikado-san."
Dodo nodded. "We got bodyguards too. And your friends." He motioned at Shirota and Sendagaya.
His father looked even more at a loss. No, he almost looked... ashamed.
"Let's go home," he stammered, clearing his throat again. "We all need to rest... Let's talk about everything else tomorrow, all right?"
"You two, wait a minute."
Mahiru and Tetsu stopped walking, turning around to face Alicein Mikado as he walked up to them, still looking incredibly stirred. "You..." he began, clearing his throat. "I probably owe you both an apology. And your friends too, if they're anywhere around here."
"They're still guarding the place." Mahiru looked around. "I mean, we could call them if you want, but..."
"No, don't bother. If their presence gives us at least an ounce more safety, let them stay where they are." Mikado gestured them to several chairs and a couch standing around a coffee table, motioning for them to sit down. "But please... tell them I am very, very sorry, for everything that happened here."
He looked it. His face was still deathly pale, drops of sweat resting on his forehead that he wiped with the palm of his hand. Mahiru exchanged a surprised glance with Tetsu, then he looked back at him. "Why?" he asked. "It's not like you could've known that this maid was a mole... right?"
"That is true," Mikado said gravely as they all sat down. "But she would never have succeeded if it hadn't been for me. I have committed many mistakes... mistrusting the wrong people and locking you out of the house was only the beginning. Everything... everything is my fault..."
Mahiru exchanged another glance with Tetsu. "You... You're talking about what you said earlier, right?" he said slowly. "About Lily keeping the key... and something you didn't tell Misono?"
Mikado nodded. "Yes. Yes, you are right. This grave secret I've been hiding from him for so many years... if only I'd never made that mistake, if only– I'm sorry. You obviously don't understand a single thing I say. Ask me anything you want, and I'll answer." He sighed. "There is no more point in keeping secrets now, is there?"
"So..." Mahiru leaned forward. "You're planning to tell Misono too, right? When you said you wanted to talk about everything tomorrow."
Mikado hesitated.
"I didn't want him to know," he said quietly. "I was hoping he'd never find out... and even now he's too young to hear it..."
Tetsu frowned slightly. "He's as old as us. And Misono-senpai's strong. Don't worry about him."
Mikado said nothing. Tetsu's gaze flitted to something the others couldn't see, and he abruptly got up.
"Gonna go to the bathroom," he said. "Don't wait for me."
Mahiru was left alone with Mikado, who still didn't know what to say.
"So," Mahiru said at last, "what exactly happened that you're trying to hide from Misono?"
Misono had crawled under the covers, but he couldn't sleep. His body was exhausted, but his mind was still wide awake, thoughts over thoughts swirling round and round and round in his head.
Lily had been stabbed and almost killed. There had been a mole in the household. Mitsuki said this maid had been the only recent addition and that the others were trustworthy, but could they really be sure? They had trusted one person too many, and one of them had almost paid for it with his life. Who said there wasn't another person out to kill them? If Tsubaki had really sent Otogiri to infiltrate the place, would he really only have sent her alone? Did he really trust her that much? Wouldn't it have been safer and more logical to send a backup in case the first attempt failed?
Wait. Had it failed?
Lily had survived. Misono and everyone had assumed that Otogiri had stabbed him with the intent to kill, but what if she hadn't? His thoughts wandered back to the nurse's words.The stab hit the only spot where it wouldn't have instantly killed him... I almost refuse to believe it's coincidence. What if it hadn't been coincidence? What if Otogiri had hit that very spot on purpose?
Had her objective not been to kill Lily, but to incapacitate him?
But why?
He didn't understand. It didn't made sense. Nothing that had happened today made any sense. His friends' sudden appearance made no sense, either. They shouldn't be here. They shouldn't have come for him, not even if they followed Lily's call. After the way he had rejected them all... Why had they still come here? Why hadn't they minded? He didn't deserve them all. And now they were here, guarding his house...
He was glad they had come here in time. He was glad they had reacted so quickly after the attack, swooping in to save Lily's life and chase after the assassin maid, even if they had failed to catch her in the end. He was glad his father trusted them again, enough to let them help guard the mansion tonight. At least he wouldn't have to worry about cutting them off anymore. Even if he still didn't understand their reasons for coming here, he was glad he could just stay friends with them.
And then there was the thing that kept him awake the most.
Lily had given him the keys to the locked-up old wing. So he had been right. That wing really did contain the answers to all his questions, and Lily finally wanted him to know, after keeping the secret for all these years. His father had told him they'd talk about everything tomorrow, too. Was he going to tell him what had happened? What was so terrible that they had kept it a secret from him for so many years? What had happened that night, really?
He'd find out tomorrow, hopefully... but tomorrow was so far away...
A soft noise stirred him out of his thoughts, so quick and soft that he couldn't immediately tell what it was. For a moment he couldn't even tell if he had really heard something or if it had just been a figment of his imagination.
But just when he was ready to dismiss it, he heard it again, clearer this time. A knock.
"Psst! Senpai?"
That voice...
"Senpai, you awake?"
Misono jumped to his feet, running to open the half-closed window and stare at the face that gazed back at him, wide-eyed, stunned and incredulous. "Sendagaya...?"
Sendagaya? Why was he here? What was he doing under his window in the wee hours of the morning? How in the world... why...
"It's me," Sendagaya whispered back, awkwardly leaning against the window frame, the moon casting a cool light on his features, making his hair and eyes look almost silvery. "Uh... Hey."
Misono looked down. He didn't know what to reply. This was the first time they talked alone again, he realized, the first time since the tanabata festival and the fateful confession. There was so much he wanted to say to him, so much he had to explain, and words failed him as he was left staring at his feet once more, unsure where to start.
"Sendagaya," he said quietly, hoping it was dark enough to hide the blush on his face. "Wh-Why are you here?"
"I dunno." Sendagaya's voice was just as quiet. "I just kinda felt like it... like you couldn't sleep after all this." He raked a hand through his hair. "So I came here."
Misono looked up. "You came here just for that?"
"Yeah. Maybe it sounds weird, but I kinda thought..." Sendagaya's gaze flitted around nervously, and even in the dark Misono could tell he was blushing. "I thought maybe you didn't wanna be alone right now."
Misono suddenly found he had never seen anything as interesting as the tips of his toes.
Sendagaya was right. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to keep lying around here all by himself, tossing and turning from side to side to side, staring at the wall, the ceiling, the window, the ceiling again. He had barely managed to suffer through the short time he had already spent like this. If he continued doing the same thing for the rest of the night, he would lose his mind for sure.
"Maybe so," he admitted quietly, trying to sound calm. "But that doesn't explain why you came here."
"Because I care."
Misono's head darted up. Flushing, he stepped back to gaze up at Sendagaya, who simply returned his look with utmost sincerity. "You–"
Was this the confession all over again?
He didn't want that. One time had been enough. He still didn't know how he felt, and he wasn't sure if he ever would or if he'd always stay like this, helpless and uncertain.
One way or another he had to clear a lot of things up.
"Listen–" he started just as Sendagaya opened his mouth to start speaking at the exact same time. "Senpai–"
They both interrupted themselves, looking into each other's eyes and then in opposite directions.
"You go first," Misono muttered.
"No," Sendagaya replied, lightly, carefully resting a hand on his shoulder. "You go first."
Misono swallowed hard, gathering his courage. Part of him wanted to insist that Sendagaya go first, but he knew that wouldn't help anyone. He owed him an explanation. Things had been awkward between them for too long.
"Listen," he said again, clenching his fists to steady himself. "I'm... very sorry for not talking to you for so long. I promise it has nothing to do with you, and–"
Sendagaya shook his head. "I'm sorry for confessing in the first place. You didn't like it, so I shouldn't have said anything."
"That's not it!"
Misono's head darted up, his nails digging into the palms of his clenched hands. "What are you apologizing for, you imbecile?" he burst out, eyes flaring desperately as guilt and anger and frustration surged up inside his veins. "Don't tell me you were actually blaming yourself for confessing? It isn't your fault, you bastard! Just..." He swallowed, forcing himself to keep looking at Sendagaya, no matter how much he wanted to lower his eyes and turn away. "I... don't know how to feel about it," he admitted quietly. "I don't know if I return your feelings... or if I'll ever come to understand how I feel about you. I was ashamed of that... I felt I couldn't face you until I came to a conclusion first, but I have yet to find one."
"Oh."
A flood of emotions washed over Sendagaya's face. Surprise, amazement, relief. Hope. He looked so glad, so grateful to have heard Misono's answer, that Misono almost wanted to bury himself under the blanket and never come out again, ashamed to have made him worry so much for so many weeks.
"You should've said so," Sendagaya said, his blue eyes still wide and so naïve that Misono couldn't help but remember how young he still was, no matter how much older he looked. "Y'know... I don't really mind if you can't decide. That's okay, I can wait. But if we're not talking... I miss you, so let's talk again, okay?"
Misono felt choked up. I missed you too, Sendagaya. I missed you so much.
"Alright," he said quietly, swallowing the lump in his throat along with the urge to climb through the window and desperately cling to Sendagaya's waist and bury his face in his shirt. "I suppose... that means we are friends again, for the time being?"
"Yeah." Sendagaya smiled lightly. "Friends."
Misono hid a smile too. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. There was still so much to worry him, so much spinning around in his mind, but now that he had Sendagaya back, everything else felt so much less scary. Sendagaya really had been right. He didn't want to be alone right now, and now that he wasn't, the night didn't seem quite as long and dark anymore.
Sendagaya glanced around, taking a look into the direction of the main entrance, then extending a hand. "Wanna climb out?"
Misono blinked in confusion. "What do you–"
"Your dad's talking to big bro Mahiru." Sendagaya motioned towards the side. "His secretary's over there and can't see us. Dodo-san's gone back to sleep. The guards are looking outside and not into the garden. Everybody else isn't gonna care if you're walking around at night, if I'm with you they're just gonna think we're uh... hanging out or something." He blushed slightly. "Basically, perfect time to go to that door and find out what they've been hiding."
Misono's thoughts stumbled to a halt. He looked into the silent, empty garden, then at Sendagaya in awe. He was right. If he just climbed out the window, he might just get to the mysterious door this time. He had the keys. He could find everything out, here and now.
But his father, he reminded himself. His father had wanted to talk about everything tomorrow... but tomorrow was so far away...
And Lily had given him the keys. Lily wanted him to find out by himself. He didn't know why, but that much he knew for sure.
"Very well," he said, hurrying across the room to pull out the bundle of keys and return back to the window. "Help me out, Sendagaya."
Sendagaya nodded, extending a hand. Misono took it and heaved himself up, assisted by Sendagaya's grip and the arm that slung around his side and back to pull him over. And then he was outside, in his pajamas, still barefoot, nothing but a bit of garden between him and the answer to all his questions.
"Alright," he whispered, grip tightening on the bundle of keys. "Let's go."
They walked across the cool grass in silence, Sendagaya staying close to Misono's side for the entire way. Nobody seemed to notice or stop them. And then they were standing in front of the door again, and Misono's hands trembled as he tried to recall which key was the one he needed.
Sendagaya's hand rested on his own, gently picking out a key with utmost certainty. "This one," he whispered. "Want me to unlock the door, senpai?"
Misono's hands were still trembling, but he shook his head. This was something he wanted to do himself, without anyone else having to help him.
Swallowing, he pushed the key into the keyhole and turned.
The door creaked open.
Misono peered into the jet-black darkness ahead, his eyes slowly adjusting to the gloom. Amid the dark gray and black shapes started to form, shapes that had once been familiar before this wing of the mansion had been locked up and abandoned, shrouded in doubt and oblivion.
Before he knew what he was doing, his body set into motion, following the well-rehearsed pattern of ways he once used to walk every day. He remembered now. That night this... whatever it was had occurred in the corridor close to Mikuni's room. If he could hope to find any clues or answers, it had to be there. Mikuni's room... it should be door number one... two... three...
He turned, gently pushing it open to step inside.
The room looked exactly like it had the last time Misono had set foot into it, and if it wasn't for the layer of dust glinting on the floor and every piece of furniture he would have thought it was still in use. Nobody had made any changes to it since he had last seen this room. It was as if Mikuni had simply gone on a very long vacation, and this place was waiting for him to return.
Misono let his eyes roam around, trying to ignore the pounding in his chest. Where should he look first? This room was big... Where could he find a clue about what happened?
"Hey," Sendagaya said, slipping into the room behind him. "Has that book always been on the desk?"
Misono turned towards the desk, taking a step closer. The single book lying on top of it... He recognized it on sight. It was the one book in the room Mikuni had never allowed him to have a proper look at, let alone touch, no matter how much he tried.
Mikuni's old diary.
He felt a little guilty, picking it up to blow a layer of dust off the cover. He knew he shouldn't read other people's diaries, not even his brother's. But this was an emergency. And with this obvious placement, he couldn't help but feel like Mikuni had left it here for him to read.
His hands still shaking, he looked through the pages, eyes skimming over Mikuni's messy scrawl, trying to find anything that could give him answers, a clue, anything. His heart was beating louder than ever. An answer... an explanation... something, anything...
A few sheets of paper fluttered out between the pages. Misono stooped to pick them up. They seemed to come from an older diary, lying folded up inside the cover of the new one, also covered in Mikuni's almost unreadable handwriting. Going by the look of his writing these seemed to be much older, likely from the time when they were both still elementary school-aged.
Dear diary, the page read. Today I looked through Father's old letters because I was curious and found something strange. In between his business stuff there was a stack of letters with a photo of a very pretty woman. I asked Father who she was, and he said she was my nanny when I was a baby. I don't remember her, but she looks a lot like Misono. And she was here at the right time too...
I think I know why Misono doesn't look like Mother now.
"It should never have happened," Mikado said quietly, his eyes staring at nothing and yet seeming to follow the movements of images only he could see. "But when Mikuni was born my wife was too weak to take care of him properly, so we hired a young woman for the job. She spent almost the entirety of his first six months with him... Proud father that I was, I often visited him. And her. We grew closer and closer. Too close. So close that after a few months... she turned out to be pregnant."
Mahiru frowned and said nothing. He had a vague idea where this was going.
"She left the house," Mikado continued. "My wife wasn't happy, she'd grown to like her a lot too. Still, it couldn't be helped... we couldn't let her find out how badly we had betrayed her." He sighed. "For the moment, anyway."
Mahiru nodded slowly. "Did you tell her?"
"Yes... but only after Misono was born. I probably shouldn't have. I couldn't help it... I couldn't live knowing that I had a second family out there somewhere that my first one could never know of. I confessed everything to her." Mikado's eyes darkened. "She told me it was all right, that she wasn't angry. I was glad... until several weeks later Misono's mother died in a traffic accident, and my wife told me she had used her connections to stage it."
Mahiru swallowed. "And?"
"She regretted it... said she had been consumed by jealousy, that she was sorry... We decided to take Misono in and raise him as our own child." Mikado smiled bitterly. "We thought that would make up for our sins. But jealousy had already taken root in my wife's heart, and when he was twelve years old she suddenly went out to try and attack him too."
Mahiru said nothing. His hands dug into the fabric of the couch. Part of him wondered where Tetsu had gone.
"Nothing happened, of course," Mikado added, looking only slightly relieved. "Mikuni caught her in time and overpowered her. He would have been ready to kill her that night... I was afraid of him, so afraid that I banished him from the house. But he insisted that my wife should leave too, just so Misono would be safe even in his absence. I tried to change his mind, but even she agreed with him." Mikado sighed. "She left... and disappeared. We didn't hear from her for months on end. When I finally went out to search for her I heard that she probably died. Her body hasn't been found, but the note she left behind at her family's house left no doubt that she couldn't bear the guilt and ended her life." He shook his head. "It's my fault. It's all my fault. I tore this family apart, just because I couldn't be loyal to my wife. I should have died in her stead."
Mahiru swallowed again. Then he nodded. Suddenly he understood why Mikado and Lily had been hiding this story from Misono for so long, locking up the door to the mysteries and lying in his face for years.
"I see," he said. "You... You're worried that Misono will blame himself if he finds out, right? That if he hadn't existed, none of this..." He shook his head. "But that's stupid! It's not his fault! Misono should know that!"
Mikado shook his head. "It'll hurt him anyway. He isn't old enough to find out–"
"He's sixteen years old!" Mahiru shouted back, jumping to his feet. "He's a second-year in high school! He's the same age as me! How much longer were you planning to hide this from him?"
"But–"
"Misono is strong." Mahiru smiled slightly. "And smart, too. He's not as fragile as you think. He'll be fine, and if he's not, he's still got all of us to support him." He sat back down. "And thinking simply, the longer you lie to him the more it'll hurt him, right?"
Mikado said nothing. His eyes were still gazing at nothing, looking old and worn and incredibly tired.
"Very well," he said at last. "I'll explain everything to him. Tomorrow I'll tell him the whole truth and hope he takes it well."
The diary slipped from Misono's hands, falling to the ground with a dull clattering noise.
Misono's eyes were blank. His mind was blank. His whole body was trembling, shaking, hot and cold at the same time.
His mother wasn't his real mother. He had been a child that should never have been born. He should never have existed, and because of his existence this family had fallen apart and innocent people had died.
If only his father had never cheated on Mikuni's mother. If only he had never seen the light of day. Everyone else would have been happy. He had always thought he existed because his parents loved each other, but this– He hadn't been a child of love. He was a child of lust, lust and nothing more. Thoughtlessness. Stupidity.
He shouldn't have been born. He shouldn't have existed. Then his real mother would still be alive, and Mikuni's mother would be here, and Mikuni wouldn't have been banished. But just because his father hadn't controlled his own lust...
"–pai? Senpai!"
He jumped. His wide eyes blinked up at Sendagaya, who was watching him with worry clouding his face.
"Here," he said, holding out another folded sheet of paper. "This fell out too... Thought you might wanna read that. Hey, you okay?"
For a moment Misono wanted to run out and ignore the paper. Then he swallowed and extended his hand. Whatever this was, it couldn't be any worse than what he had just found out. It couldn't be.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he unfolded it and found himself face to face with Lily's flowing letters.
Dear Misono,
I am very sorry that you found out about everything this way. I wish none of this would have happened, and I hope you will never know the truth, but in case you will someday find your way in here I am writing this letter. I know what you are probably thinking, and I assure you none of this is in any way your fault. Nothing that happened was within your control, and you know that. Your father is blaming himself, of course, but I doubt that if he had the chance to repeat it all again, he would change his ways. After all, he made many mistakes that he can never correct again, but at least he got you out of it, and I do not think he would trade you for the world.
Misono swallowed hard, but this lump in his throat was one he couldn't force away.
You must now think that your true parents never loved each other and that you were simply born from lust, but I promise you this is not true. Inside Mikado-san's office there is a secret drawer that he keeps locked up at all times. Open it, and you will find all the letters he received from your mother after he left the house. Even after all these years and woes, he has still kept them. One would not do that for anyone but a person one dearly loves. Even after sixteen years, he still treasures her letters, pictures and gifts as if she was still alive. You were a child of love, Misono, and I hope you will always know that. Love and lust, after all, often come hand in hand.
I do not know what you will do now, but I hope you will stay strong. The way you came into existence does not change that you are a kind, gracious human being who has brightened the lives of those around him, and I hope you will continue to be the same way in the future. If you'll still have me after finding out all this, I, too, will gladly stay by your side.
Love,
Lily
The letter blurred under his gaze. Tears welled up in his eyes, and Misono barely registered as for the second time that night they started streaming down his face, simply allowing himself to stand here and cry like a little child.
"Senpai," Sendagaya said hurriedly. "Senpai, what's wrong?"
Misono sniffled and wiped his eyes, handing him the letter. "Read."
But Sendagaya didn't. He simply went up to Misono and pulled him into his arms, letting him awkwardly cling to the front of his shirt and bury his face in the fabric, still sobbing.
"You can tell me later," he said gently, patting his back. "But I hope it said something nice."
"Yes." Misono sniffled again. "Yes... it's very nice."